Namecips' Journal

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  1. #1

    Namecips' Journal

    Hello.

    Background
    I live in Japan (but I'm not Japanese).

    I've been (mostly) a serial monogamist and video game addict for my whole life until in the last months two events shook me up. On September my father was on the verge of death because of some serious health issues and around the first week of January my fiance and GF of 4 years broke up with me.

    Basically, my gaming addiction made me neglect work, family, social life, her, everything. So another guy just snatched her. It hurts, but whatever. It's life. I'm gonna be awesome so that's her loss.

    I just realized that I neglected lots of things in my life (GF being just one) and started right away to try to self-improve.

    I've never been really alone without a GF/FWB/whatever in my life for more than couple months. My sexual drive is about average, I guess... never felt compelled to go fucking my way through life but the sexual pressure that builds while being alone has always pushed me forward just enough to manage to get myself some company.

    So zero sexual life has never been an issue (at least never for long)

    But I'm really interested on what I think these systems, techniques, forums, books, etc are really about: getting your shit together, look good, feel good, expand and improve your social interactions, and making the most of said social interactions (for whatever reasons you have, including sex)

    I'm not overweight (almost fit, with clothes you think I'm perfectly fit). Reasonably good looking. Short (but I have never let that stop me, I've dated/fucked/LTRed with women taller than me).

    All my life I've kinda had a thing for older women (eg: my ex-wife was 19 years older than me.) But my ex-fiance (yes... I was gonna marry again lol) is 14 years/old younger than me (she's 24, I'm 38).

    So you could say I'm ok with a wide range of ages now

    Initial concrete actions

    Like I've said, I've neglected work for years so money is scarce. I've been like AWOLing for months then going to work some, while being late a lot, then AWOLing a week, etc... for 5+ years now.

    I'm very good in my line of work, and that's what has saved my ass so far.

    I stopped that shit. In a couple of days it'll be two months of going to work just as the Virgin Mary(?) intended.

    Started jogging and after it's become an habit I plan to add gym (too many stories of "I'm paying the gym and not going" around)

    My working suit was in tatters. New suit, new shoes, etc.
    Started grooming more consciously.

    Started rebuilding my social life (reconnecting with old friends, started showing up my face again in places where I was a regular before, etc)

    Started cooking (I'm a good cook) and stopped eating junk food for lunch/dinner.
    Although I clearly need to vary my diet, first things first: develop the everyday cooking habit AND then get fancy.

    Started online dating crap, but I just basically look at that shit when taking a smoke break at work.

    My profiles are probably shit, but whatever. OkCupid, Skout and POF in Japan are DEAD. ZERO activity.
    Tinder is meh and Japanese dating sites are all paid services without one even being "THE dating site/app". I've seen 10s of new Japanese dating sites and apps pop-up in ads for months that fade into obscurity every year.

    I don't care much for the texting crap, I prefer personal interaction.

    (to be continued)



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender:
    Location
    South of Raleigh
    Age
    26
    Posts
    96

    Quote Originally Posted by namecips View Post
    Hello.

    Background
    I live in Japan (but I'm not Japanese).

    I've been (mostly) a serial monogamist and video game addict for my whole life until in the last months two events shook me up. On September my father was on the verge of death because of some serious health issues and around the first week of January my fiance and GF of 4 years broke up with me.

    Basically, my gaming addiction made me neglect work, family, social life, her, everything. So another guy just snatched her. It hurts, but whatever. It's life. I'm gonna be awesome so that's her loss.

    I just realized that I neglected lots of things in my life (GF being just one) and started right away to try to self-improve.

    I've never been really alone without a GF/FWB/whatever in my life for more than couple months. My sexual drive is about average, I guess... never felt compelled to go fucking my way through life but the sexual pressure that builds while being alone has always pushed me forward just enough to manage to get myself some company.

    So zero sexual life has never been an issue (at least never for long)

    But I'm really interested on what I think these systems, techniques, forums, books, etc are really about: getting your shit together, look good, feel good, expand and improve your social interactions, and making the most of said social interactions (for whatever reasons you have, including sex)

    I'm not overweight (almost fit, with clothes you think I'm perfectly fit). Reasonably good looking. Short (but I have never let that stop me, I've dated/fucked/LTRed with women taller than me).

    All my life I've kinda had a thing for older women (eg: my ex-wife was 19 years older than me.) But my ex-fiance (yes... I was gonna marry again lol) is 14 years/old younger than me (she's 24, I'm 38).

    So you could say I'm ok with a wide range of ages now

    Initial concrete actions

    Like I've said, I've neglected work for years so money is scarce. I've been like AWOLing for months then going to work some, while being late a lot, then AWOLing a week, etc... for 5+ years now.

    I'm very good in my line of work, and that's what has saved my ass so far.

    I stopped that shit. In a couple of days it'll be two months of going to work just as the Virgin Mary(?) intended.

    Started jogging and after it's become an habit I plan to add gym (too many stories of "I'm paying the gym and not going" around)

    My working suit was in tatters. New suit, new shoes, etc.
    Started grooming more consciously.

    Started rebuilding my social life (reconnecting with old friends, started showing up my face again in places where I was a regular before, etc)

    Started cooking (I'm a good cook) and stopped eating junk food for lunch/dinner.
    Although I clearly need to vary my diet, first things first: develop the everyday cooking habit AND then get fancy.

    Started online dating crap, but I just basically look at that shit when taking a smoke break at work.

    My profiles are probably shit, but whatever. OkCupid, Skout and POF in Japan are DEAD. ZERO activity.
    Tinder is meh and Japanese dating sites are all paid services without one even being "THE dating site/app". I've seen 10s of new Japanese dating sites and apps pop-up in ads for months that fade into obscurity every year.

    I don't care much for the texting crap, I prefer personal interaction.

    (to be continued)
    Self improvements are great and all, but how's your infield stuff coming along/where are you at with 'game' stuff?
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

  3. #3

    Yes, I was going to continue but the OP got moderated (first post) and was on hold for like 3 days so I couldn't follow up.
    I'm at work now, so I'll continue on the game specifics later at night. FWIW, I'm reading magic bullets atm.

  4. #4

    Ok.... Today is... Monday, I decided to start with the 'game' last Thursday after lurking this forum the whole week.
    First entry so it's very long. I guess that with time it'll get shorter and to the point.


    Before that I'll sum up things that are ongoing.

    1) Previous work chinese coworked I have friendzoned. 30y/o - HB6

    We have been on and off contact for some years, and I called her like over month ago to lent her ear to unload all my crap about my ex-gf.
    Since then we've gone to a couple places together (Stand Up in English in Japan, etc).

    I think she was interested on me like years ago but I gather that by now she's got me in a LJBF state.
    Which is exactly what I want, I want to keep her in the friendzone for emotional support lol.

    Game-wise, she's pre-selection DHV, I guess.

    What I did
    I have no idea. I've known her for like 4 years. I dont't even recall how we started being friends.

    so... I can't know what could have been better nor what to improve

    2) Japanese girl that messaged me on OkCupid a month ago. 30y/o - HB6.5

    What I did

    She contacted me on OkCupid, and we texted for about a week. Game-wise it was terrible (on both sides).
    She was bitching about work and that she wants to find a new job all the time, and talking about her last failed relationship with some Scottish guy.
    I was all about how I realized my life was on the drain and I was starting to self-improve and crap. (didn't mention ex-gf, of course)

    She was having some kind of health issues (bowel inflammation or something) so she was fending off my invitation to go out. So I froze her.
    Then she contacted me to go out to the Kobe port.

    Anyway, we went for a stroll on the Kobe port at night which was having an illumination thing, then went for dinner to a place that I know (but was fucking closed)
    We ended going to an Italian restaurant where the food that sucked.

    She has some kind of foreigner-fever (has only had relationships with non-Japanese guys).
    We kinda had fun, but we didn't hit it attraction-wise. She is not interested on me.

    I texted her a couple times afterwards and she was polite but uninterested. So I froze her with a different goal in mind (I'll be back to this later).

    What could have been better

    The original joint where we going to have dinner is expensive-ish. The Italian restaurant too.
    Dinner is a bad date. Expensive on the first date is bad from what I gather now.

    When interacting, talking about my shit was very wrong . The mood was already set while texting and went on while on dinner.
    On the other hand I kinda needed that so... whatever.

    I should have just waited for her to recover physically before we met so she was 100%.

    What am I going to do next time?

    Not talk about my problems . That conveys no confidence. Focus more on keeping it fun.
    My eye contact wasn't that bad I guess (I'm not uncomfortable keeping eye contact) but from what I read I need to step it up.

    One of my problems is that I never give a shit about other people in general. I don't like small talk.
    I have no problem talking with people when I have a specific reason to do so. I'm not shy at all, but talking without purpose is not my thing.
    I need to change that.

    On the other hand, after reading several posts in this forum and some pages in Magic Bullets, I think that my default "I'm not interested" stance has actually helped me in the past since I become a Challenge.
    At any rate, I need to control it... not let it to chance.


    3) HB6.5 Japanese woman, late 30s/early 40s. Petite, short and nice body. Her face could be better.

    Weird story. 4-5 years ago I was back home (Argentina) with my ex-gf on a famous bookstore that is a tourist attraction architectonically and we heard a group of 4 people talking in Japanese.
    I approached them and we talked a bit... and they happened to be FROM THE VERY SAME FUCKING COMPANY I WAS WORKING FOR (as a contractor). They worked at a different section so we've never really talked,
    but... the world is so small and all that crap.

    Fastforward to last month. I start (as a contractor) coming to the company I'm right now. I go to the first meeting and when the meeting ends, HB6.5 asks me "haven't we met at the so-so bookstore in Argentina?".
    Wow. We have, indeed.

    I was in the middle of the breakup with my ex-gf, so I did nothing. A couple weeks ago I told her we should grab a drink or something and she was up to it.
    It got delayed because she had to go to Germany for work, came back to Japan somewhere last week. Monday night she emailed me her schedule for the week, and I kind of procrastinated the reply.
    I didn't mean to freeze her, I need to think where to go and reply ASAP.


    ____________________________

    THE GAME (?)


    Thursday 2/22

    1) Early 20s japanese chubby girl (HB4?)

    What I did

    My first "try" at day game ever: I got into the elevator to go to my office and she hops hurriedly. There's only both of us. She's out of breath.
    So I turn to her and her "Getting late?", she looks bewildered that a foreigner addresses her in Japanese and... looks at her wristwatch and answers that she thinks that she's gonna make it.
    The elevator reaches my floor so I tell her "good luck then" and get off.

    What could have been better

    Eye-contact was like 5%. Although I'm not uncomfortable in general, I felt that my eye contact was almost nil.
    Also, I just stood facing forwards and only turned my head. I guess I should have turned my whole body and face her.

    What am I going to do next time?

    Improve eye contact. Probably body language but I feel that's too advanced right now and want to focus on AA first.

    2) 60+? blonde, blue eyed foreigner. She must have been a barbie on her youth. (I'm not rating her, lol)

    After work I went to a bar where I used to go dance (Tango) on Friday/Saturdays. I rarely go Thurdays and it's been about a year since I've been there so it's like I'm a new guy, no one knows me.
    They are having swing dancing lessons. I just get a glass of wine and watch people dance.

    The 60+ women enters the join and our eyes meet, she smiles to me, I smile and nod. (There's this... nodding among foreigners in Japan. Don't know where it started but its ubiquituous)

    I thought about aproaching just to practice but after our eyes met like 3 or 4 times it started to feel awkward so I started ignoring her.
    Eye-feet is not there, I have to focus on that. It was a good chance to practice.

    3) 20+ or 30+ tall slim girl. HB7

    So this girl goes over to the bathroom and there's people in line (close to where I was sitting).
    Never seen her in my life but I ask her "haven't we danced Tango here before?" she says "no". "Oh, must have been someone that looked a lot like you".
    She smiles politely and body language is "I just wanna go to the bathroom". I leave it at that.

    4) 40+ petite short haired, smiling woman. HB6

    She comes ask if I dance (I can't dance Swing). While replying that I'm injured (I injured my knee Tuesday while jogging) I gauge if I should try to strike a conversation,
    but I see that she wants to dance, and anyone will do. Being a dancer myself, I know the feeling (been there done that) so I let it go.

    5) 40+ nice body, energetic woman. HB7 body, HB4.5 face lol. Very nice hair

    All things considered, she was pretty doable.

    I noticed her during the Swing dancing lessons because she must be somewhat good at dancing so she filled as man/leading dancer a couple times (the man/woman ratio was not perfect during the lessons)
    The lesson ends (I was there like only the last 20-25 mins of the dancing lessons) and it transitions into a full blown dancing joint. (The usual, for the place)

    Since I cannot even use the "teach me how to dance Swing" thing due to my injury, I decide to call it a night and go home.
    I pay, get out and stay a couple minutes just outside (you can't smoke inside, so I went where the ashtray is to have a smoke).

    So I was smoking and answering some texting from the frienzoned chinese when she comes out and opens me in Japanese.
    I don't remember what she said, I was texting... I think she asked if I was leaving already or something.
    I replied and it was conversation already... which turned into the inevitable subject that my Japanese is very good and how long have I been in Japan.

    I guess that's my free, bulletproof way in into people. Just opening my mouth and say WHATEVER in front of people. Some open ME.

    The subject (my Japanese language proficiency and how long I've been in Japan) is a fucking daily thing all the time, all year around, EVERY-fucking-WHERE I GO.

    So it's a free opener, but a very boring topic for me.
    I need to fake amusement on the subject to keep the vibe up. Sometimes I manage to do so, sometimes I don't.

    So I switched topic as soon as I could, and told her that I had noticed her having fun on the dancefloor.
    She goes full japanese humbleness on "oh I'm not that good" and whatnot... to which I replied that I wasn't talking about skill, but actually having fun.
    I DHV saying that I dance tango, so I know how things are, I know when people are trying hard and when they are having fun and that she was just having fun.
    She ask if she should take that as a compliment, and instead of just saying yes -indirectly-, I tell her that she should be proud of being able to stand out for just having fun.
    We talked a bit more, she asked my name so she was interested. I ask hers... etc and we kept talking -I don't even remember about what- for about a minute.

    Some friend of her arrived and they were greeting each other and whatnot. I waved good bye.

    I should have waited for her to end talking to her friend, light another smoke to signal a new time contraint and push forward just for the sake of it.
    On the other hand, I know that she would just want to go back dancing at some point on the near future, so bailing out right there might have been the right choice.

    I guess I could just go another Thursday to see if something comes up in this front (When I'm not injured, to pull the "teach me dacing" card).


    __________________________________

    Friday 2/23

    Went to a "let's exchange language studying experiences over chinese and japanese tea" thingy. (This is just a typical Japanese "I want to meet foreignersssss!!!!" thingy)
    At first, around 10 people (4 women).
    Over time some people popped-up and some faded out. So I'll try to recall interactions.

    I went in a good mood, energetic, joking, pretty fun, pretty relaxed. I was kind of the center of attention there.
    I opened a couple of guys too to show I'm social. There were a couple of smart guys who were just nice to talk to. Lets call them Interesting Guy #1 and #2.

    But, I'm leaving guy interactions out of this journal, mostly.

    These are the women I interacted with, in no particular order.

    1) 40+ or early 50s woman. HB3? maybe 3 is mean. I just wasn't interested.

    She asked me a lot of questions so I was clearly interesting to her. Although I interacted jokingly and with energy, I didn't really give her space because I was uninterested.
    Maybe I should have interacted more with her keeping an eye on learning more about IOIs, but I didn't thought about that at the time.

    2) 20+/30- chubby maybe even fat japanese girl.

    I don't know what score to give her. She was a HB4 or maybe an HB8. I don't know. Pretty face (had she been a slimmer). The most gorgeous hair I've seen in person in years AND the exact kind of haircut I absolutely love on women.
    Very nice bossom. Plus the exact right mixture of openness to social interaction and japanese "I'm a shy girl without confidence" vibe. I liked her style in clothing.
    I liked everything I saw about her except that she was fat.

    She's one of the organizers of the event, and might be the GF of the other guy that organized the event. I don't know.

    The event is arranged so we are all in a circle, no table on the center. HB3 asks if I like Karaoke, to which I reply that I don't really like Karaoke that much but I have my
    list of songs I usually sing (Karaoke in Japan is socially ubiquitous). Some guy asks if I sing in Japanese, and I reply "yes, I have some in my usual repertoire".
    Chubby girl was doing her event duties, not really in the conversation, but goes all "Oh! I would like to listen to that" to no one in particular, but loud enough. It was not to herself.

    She's sitting not really in the circle but somewhat in a distance behind me (because she goes back and forth the kitchen pouring tea and whatnot).
    She sits and is talking with two women that arrived later (HB6.5 that came with HB2, but I hated her voice and all she said was stupid so I ignored her).
    That's when I kind of though "ok, let's see how I manage going for chubby girl", I turn around to kind of enter into the their conversation and... and.... AA kicked in lol.

    They were talking about chocolate (which I know zero about). And I turned around to be facing towards them and listened for about 30 seconds.
    Interesting Guy #1 addresses me + AA, so I decide to not force my hand and give up on pushing forward her.

    Fastforward in time and I'm talking to HB3 and Interesting Guy #1 about... can't remember. Next thing I notice chubby girl is sitting next to me.
    Since I had internally given up on her, now I had no AA. lol. WTF is this shit.
    When I think go -> AA. When I think fuck it -> No AA. This is so stupid. Oh well.

    Anyway I don't remember if she came and just sat next to me, Interesting Guy #1 said something to her or I said something to her and she came by.
    The thing is that she's there already. So I ask here what language she's interested in and why and she says she's lived a bit in USA and wants to brush up her english.
    I ask where and she says somewhere and Seattle. I used to love Grunge music, so I start on how I'd like to go there to just get wet on the Seattle rain or something random like that.
    She's like "WTF is grunge?". She knew the term "alternative music" and even liked it but hadn't heard about "grunge" as a music genre.
    I tried to focus more on eye contact and felt improvement. I can't say a percentage. It's just a feeling.

    Interesting Guy #1 -a chinese poliglot and linguistics freak- wedges himself in, talking about the grunge word meaning and whatnot when two random 50+ women arrive,
    and get told that I'm the Spanish language native guy of the night or something. They want to talk to me but are too shy to come closer, but not shy enough to stop talking to me.

    As a result I'm like having this conversation talking loudly in Spanish from across the room with two 50+ women I'm not interested in, while chubby girl is sitting by my side
    talking to Interesting Guy #1. I felt the momentum was lost and just went to the 2nd floor to have a smoke.

    Btw, Weird place. It's a three story house turned into..... something.
    1st floor is a typical japanese bar (izakaya), 2nd floor is a French guy's bar were foreigners seem to go mingle, 3rd floor is the event I went to.

    End of the night

    So I go to the bar there's a french girl, the typical foreigner hunting party girl (talking Japanese to these girls is a DLV), and some random dudes.

    Interesting Guy #2 is talking to some american guy and includes me. I end up being a English Conversational Practice Guy for Interesting Guy #2, and "Random stranger
    I talked to while travelling Japan" for American Guy for about 30 mins.

    I should have ditched them and go back to the third floor, but the conversation was not boring. People from the 3rd floor start leaving (including chubby girl)
    I ask how late into the night the bar is open. Until 2am. Trains stop running at midnight and it's like 23:30 already. I need to run.
    Interesting Guy #2 saves the day, he's driving and offers to drop me in a somewhat closer station that is on his way home. In the end, English Conversational Practice Guy payed off.


    _____________________________


    Saturday 2/24

    So... I don't like ending up as a English Conversational Practice Guy, specially with Japanese people. Their english sucks and the conversation is painfully slow... my Japanese is like not perfect pronunciation-wise but... perfect.
    10 years mingling in Japanese only with Japanese people everyday pays off.
    That said, speaking in Japanese is a DLV when talking to girls that just want a foreigner because of that foreigner-ness unidimentionality.
    In other cases, it's pretty much a big DHV.

    But it had been a while since I've just go out for the sake of going out, had had fun on Friday so I just went to a another "let's talk in English with random foreigners" thing at an Irish Pub.

    I was undecided, so I pushed my self out of home kind of late and arrived 40 mins late.

    The system is: They sit 4-6 people in a table. now talk. up to those people. Then shuffle. rinse and repeat.
    (For about an hour and a half).

    Then they mix it up with a pub crawl for foreigners visiting Japan, so by the end of the "language exchange" random foreigners with their names written on their chest start popping up since the pub crawl starts in the Irish pub.

    I get sit in a table with 3 girls and one guy. HB2, HB8, HB6.5 and Malay guy.

    1) Fat, shy, caught-in-the-light-deer Japanese early 20s. HB2

    So shy, she talks in a very low voice, can't even hear what she says. I talk to her now and then just to show I'm social.
    Malay guy asks my profession, HB6.5 points that HB2 is on the same line of work. I ask what does she do. "I don't know". HB6.5 is the one to answer, saying "she's on training".
    To HB2: "So... what kind of products your company makes?" - "I'm not sure". I give up.

    2) Japanese HB6.5. Late 30s or early 40s. Classy. Body better than face.

    We are sitting on the same side of the table, but the malay guy is in the middle, so I can't really talk freely with her.
    Malay guy is trying very hard to get HB8 and all I can hear is him bombarding her about k-pop and korean soup operas (HB8 is korean, interested in practicing Japanese).
    My knowledge on that is nil, so I'm silent.

    HB7.5 asks HB6.5 recommendations on jpop music/japanese soup operas. She says that she doesn't know... that she hasn't watched soup operas in years... And HB6.5 bounces the question to HB2 and is met with silence. Then she tries to bounce it to me.
    I go on jpop bands/japanese soup operas I know of from when I was studying Japanese ten+ years ago and HB6.5 goes "wow! the memories..." about the bands, "how nostalgic!" about the soup operas, and is all laughs, etc.
    I could tried to keep a conversation with HB6.5 but 1) malay guy starts again going for HB8 and the convo is cut short. 2) one minute later the organizers go "SWITCH TABLES/TALKING PARTERNS NOW!".

    Bye bye, HB6.5. I gave a quick look around later for her when pub crawlers started popping out but she had left.
    We all had exchanged contacts, so I can maybe message her but there was no real connection to start making a move, really.


    3) HB8. Early 20s. Very pretty. Would have been HB9 had her skin be fair (acne marks or something, nothing too bad). Korean

    I got there late and Malay guy was all over her. Whatever.


    4) HB7. Late 20s/Early 30s. Japanese

    People randomly switch tables, I stay on the same table. Three girls sit down on my table (in front of me), I'm sitting alone on my side.
    I see HB7 going for the table next to mine and I tell her "there's an opening here!" and she comes and sits to my left. She was with her friend and friend sits on the table next to ours. hmmm.
    Random Japanese Nerd Sits next to me on my right side (6 people per table)

    Although HB7 accepts my invitation to sit next to me... her back is facing to me. She just talks with her friend from the other table. wtf.
    The organizer (an Aussie) comes talk to me to practice his Spanish. FML. By the time he leaves after a minute, HB7 and her next-table friend have snatched a german girl that just arrived to start the pub crawl and they are all over her on how beautiful she is.
    (Blonde, blue eyes, around 30y/o. very fat. but above all very ugly face. HB2.5 at BEST)

    I switch my focus to the three girls on front.

    5) HB7.5. Early 20s. Japanese

    I have kept her under my radar while doing the other interactions since when she was in another table... Pretty buy shy. She's all giggles to what happens around her but basically silence.
    She's also very into the fat german, asking shyly if she can take pictures with her. WTF.
    I don't understand what the hell is going on with this fat german chick thing, so I just skip her.

    6) HB6. 30 y/o-ish. Japanese - 7) HB5.5 Late 20s. Japanese.

    So, trying to get back on track on the main theme and both what are they tring to practice (which is obviously English, but just for the sake of it, I start talking)
    HB6 mentions that HB7.5 is actually an English teacher (Are they friends too?! I don't know). I think to myself that as horrible as job is a starting topic, it's better than nothing.
    I ask HB7.5 and she replies to HB6 that she's only a kids teacher, very basic English. I get totally ignored, so I stop wasting my time.

    Back to HB6 and HB5 they ask what am I doing here. I say that I want to polish my english-speaking skills so I wanted to practice.
    My spoken english is not as good as my writing/reading/listening, so it wasn't 100% a lie. (about 75% lol). I notice HB5.5 is actually interested in me (But I'm not really interested in her nor HB6).

    Until-Now-100%-Silent Random Japanese Nerd goes all "what? want to practice english?! a foreigner?!?!". And starts talking non-stop to me.
    I end up being English Conversational Practice Guy again for a while. Although the conversation flow was good because his english was very good. So there's that.
    I need to learn how to shake off these guys earlier while staying polite lol.

    7) HB6. Late 20s. Austrian

    I ditch Random Japanese Nerd, stand up and talk to the first girl I find. She's with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has been to Mexico and speaks decent Spanish.
    I ask them about the pub crawl since I had no idea about the pub crawl (all I've explained about the pub crawl is stuff I understood in hindsight but not at the time).

    I get interested, so I see the Japanese HB5.5 from the last language exchange table that happened to be there, and ask her if she plans to go to the pub crawl.
    She looked undecided, I say I will and go. She sticks with me when I go to the organizers to pay. We chat idly a bit.

    When I come back to the couple, there's a Mexican HB5.5 with them. We talk about a bit in Spanish but didn't think much of her.
    Japanese HB5.5 gets pursued by some Japanese guy. I also briefly made eye contact with a Japanese HB6.5.


    _______________________

    On the pub crawl, I mainly interacted with the pub crawl people going back and forth since it was a mingling thing, so it's hard to keep their stories separate lol.

    The organizers say "NEXT PUB!" and we all get started, so I steer towards the HB6.5 I made eye contact with, which happens to be right next to Mexican HB5.5.
    I talk a bit with Mexican HB5.5, but try to keep a line with Japanese HB6.5 before.
    I didn't know she was on the pub crawl (her name tag was on her hip, not her chest). I mention it and leave it at that.

    We talk with Mexican HB5.5 and she says she lives in Korea and this is her last night on Japan. We talk a bit about what is she doing in Korea, that I've never been there and want to go etc.
    She seemed interested on the fact that I'm living for so long in Japan (ie: not a random tourist). It maybe was a DHV?

    Organizers wants all of us to gather up to take a picture, and I notice a HB7 Petite Japanese that didn't want her picture taken and joked with her about that.
    I lose track of Mexican HB5.5.

    I start walking talking to some French Guy when I notice Japanese HB6.5 nearby again. I ask her if it's his first pub crawl and she says it's the 3rd or 4th time.
    We hit up convo, pretty much naturally and walked together until the next pub.
    I talk about my friend that only wants to date foreign guys (the OkCupid girl), and she's like "yeah, there are those kind of girls". So I ask what about her and she's smiling and non-committal, so I tease her that she's the same.
    She claims that she's just broadening with Japanese Guys + Rest of the World guys, not narrowing it to Non-Japanese Guys or whatever. I don't hide my skepticism, but jokingly.

    The conversation was flowing, but I wasn't building attraction. That's fine by me at this stage.

    We get to 2nd pub and I go grab a beer. Fuck. I have to start from approach again.
    There's Mexican HB5.5 with Austrian HB6 and a gorgeous black HB9.5 girl that I don't know how the hell I failed to notice until now. AA kicks in so I fallback to Japanese HB6.5 which is talking with some black guy.
    I feel the the momentum with Japanese HB6.5 is lost, so I go around and meet American HB5, and see Japanese HB5.5 again. I chat to them for a couple minutes.

    American HB5 says "lets talk to those people over there" and I'm back with black guy, Japanese HB6.5 and French Guy. Japanese HB6.5 and French Guy seem know each other from a previous pub crawl and they are talking about
    kissing on the cheek as a greeting. I mention that in Argentina we kiss on the cheek even between guys. And we start a 1-on-1 in the middle of everyone listening to us.

    HB6.5: "but what about 2 kisses?"
    me: "No, one cheek is enough. the french overdo it".
    HB6.5: "But what if you really like the other person?"
    me: "I do other things to people I really like"
    (general laugher)
    HB6.5: "So are you planning on going back to your country or staying?"
    me: "I want to stay, my parents are getting old so I might have to go back in... 10 years? I don't know, I don't really want to go back, I love it here."
    HB6.5: "Ten years uh? I'll be 38 by then."
    me: "And? what about being 38y/o?"
    HB6.5: "I actually might want to marry by then"
    French Guy addressing both of us: "send us an invitation to your marriage!"
    (general laugh)

    We kind of drifted to each other and kept talking for about 10 mins, there are dart boards on the pub and somehow we end talking about darts.
    I'm talking about a Portuguese friend that has a Portuguese restaurant that competes in an amateur dart league or something and she's interested in our convo, when Organizer #3 (a Saudi guy), starts yelling that EVERYONE HAS TO SHUT UP.
    And some kind of mini-challenge for alcohol starts with darts.

    Organizers kind of shuffles us all and when everything ends I lost track of Japanese HB6.5.

    I have in front Austrian HB6 (without her BF) talking to Black HB9.5. Austrian HB6 is talking about how the scoring works in darts. I had no idea how it worked so I ask genuinely how it works.
    HB9.5 is happy to help, so we start talking. She's from the Netherlands.
    I tease her a bit about Argentina beating the Netherlands on the last world cup, but we end all three go on talk crap about the Germans, lol.
    Best conversation I had about football in years.

    "NEXT! This pub is over"

    I go out on the street and Japanese HB6.5 says she has to work the next day and is leaving. I #-close her.

    (I got tired, to be continued)

  5. #5

    So... we start going the the third pub and I'm with Mexican HB5.5 and Netherlands HB9.5 and we kind of walk talking among the three of us until the next pub.
    HB9.5 is perfect. She's 27y/o, fit, short hair, beautiful face and nice eyes. She's not 10 only because her fashion style is kind of cool but a bit lacking. When she hits 30 y/o and matures a bit fashion-wise she'll be a perfect 10.
    Anyway we talk about how the Kansai area of Japan rules (she's been in Japan for about a year), and she lights up but also goes on on how pissed off she is because her company is transferring her to Tokyo.
    She goes all on comparing how Amsterdam sucks too (She's from Rotterdam) while I'm being empathetic.
    Meanwhile Mexican HB5.5 is pretty drunk and throws random Spanish at me now and then.

    I wonder if she isn't a SnL since she leaves Japan the next day and start pondering if I want to take advantage of that or not.

    We hit the third pub and it's some kind of hip-hop place run by a bunch of black people. I don't like hip hop, so my mood dwindles some.
    I notice Petite Japanese HB7 to whom I joked about when taking the picture. She had been a puppy behind some american blond guy that I can't see around.
    Was about to try to hit a conversation with her, unfortunately someone pushed me and I spilled some drink on her hand. I apologized and although she didn't get angry nor anything I kind of blanked out on how to make it fun.
    She wasn't really helping either.

    I fallback to no pressure talking to a Half Canadian/Half British guy from Singapore to step up the talk/social side of things. Austria HB6 joins us and are just having fun.
    The guy is cool, pops up a 10000 yen bill and says to the bar. Drinks for *gesture with his hand signalling around here*. The bartender is like "how many is that?".
    He buys 5 drinks and I get a free one. Nice . I look around and notice HB9.5 is nowhere to be seen (the place is small).

    "NEXT!"

    Next is clubbing. I haven't gone clubbing in like... 3 years, so I'm unsure.
    I say fuck it and just go.

    On our way to the club I end up with Mexican HB5.5 and American HB5. We chat, nothing really interesting.
    We enter and go to some lockers to put our stuff, Mexican HB5.5 says lets put our stuff the three of us together with American HB5. OK.
    Both are shorter than me, and there's like a locker on the top. Mexican HB5.5 is stretching to reach and I hold her by the hips. She starts grinding her ass a bit on me. So she IS SnL. And I love ASS.
    I look to my left, and behold, it's HB9.5 right there lol. Oh well.
    So we go towards the bar/dancefloor I'm always behind Mexican HB5.5. I start dancing close to her, holding her hips from behind and grinding a bit. She's all like "oh namecips. what are we doing?" - "Dancing". I wasn't even horny, TBH. But it was fun.
    Then she turns around and I freaked out. She was ok. HB5.5 might be even harsh on her. But suddenly I felt that she had a vibe kind of similar to my cousin.
    I go use one of the drink tickets I have to get my shit together and start thinking about my ex-gf. (This was, after all, the first time I touched anyone with real any sexual innuendo since I broke up).

    That train of thought fucked up the gaming mood for the rest of the night for me.
    I told myself I had my fun for the night but, let's call it quits on the game.
    (About an hour later I spotted Mexican HB5.5 was grinding with some English guy I've talked to at pub 3. But I didn't care.)

    So (since I like dancing) I just went to the dancefloor towards the pub crawl group. HB9.5 is there, but I'm not even on the mood for fooling around anymore and I know she's not even interested in me, LJBF at best.
    But I guess she saw that I was dancing for the love of the dance and when the pub crawl group started separating, we just stayed there together dancing the both of us, sometimes saying something, but basically dancing.
    Dancing with a HB9.5 non stop for about 40 mins was fun .

    Suddenly the DJ starts talking a LOT and we can't even enjoy dancing. And I learn that this club ends at 1:00 AM. YOU CALL THIS CLUBBING?!?! WTF?!?!
    So, the survivors of the pub crawl gather and they want to go to the next club.

    I haven't had dinner and although didn't binge, I have been drinking. The gaming mood is dead and I spot a place called "Night Sushi". That does it for me. I go have dinner.
    I open the sushi-guy and some random japanese worker just for the sake of opening. Finish my meal, and go home.

    Sunday 2/25

    I'm hung over so I must have drunk more than I can remember. I decide to do nothing today.

    END OF THE WEEKEND

  6. #6

    Monday 2/26

    HB6.5 from work

    I mail her that, after work on Friday, I plan to go to the bar I went last Thursday, that she should come.
    She knows the place, and agrees. I guess we'll have to grab a bite first somewhere (no food at that place)

    HB6.5 from OkCupid

    She was fun when we met, a Japanese with sarcasm and irony. Rare specimen.
    I want her to become my wingwoman, so I text her after freezing her for about 10 days.

    (I asked if she was still sick, she said she had recovered, etc)

    Me: Do you remember the 'let's mingle over Chinese Tea' thing I mentioned I'd go?
    HB6.5: Yes, was it fun?
    Me: Yeah, I enjoyed it.
    HB6.5: Did you make any friends?
    Me: All of them? No one? Need to go again to really become friends, I guess.
    HB6.5: Many foreigners? Did you all speak in English?
    Me: Nah, some Chinese, most were Japanese. We talked mostly in Japanese about tea (note: I like Chinese tea and used to drink it a lot like 5-6 years ago. I'm kind of restarting an old hobby)
    HB6.5: So you didn't get to speak in English?
    Me: Well, it's a weird place. The 2nd floor is a bar that a Frenchman has
    HB6.5: Oh? That sounds more fun.
    Me: So, I met there an american guy and we talked for a while in English.
    HB6.5: Nice.
    Me: Anyway, I had fun so the next day went to another event were it was ALL english.
    HB6.5: Nice! Where is it? Probably on the south side of the city, right?
    Me: In so-so ward. I'll go again March 10th. Let's go.
    Me: You just tell me who interests you, I approach him and hand him to you.
    HB6.5: Oh, but on 10th I have to go to the hospital at (city 50km away, where her parents live)... (note: I guess she replied this before she read my last msg, fending me off lol)
    HB6.5: What time is it?
    Me: 19:00
    HB6.5: I go to the hospital at the morning.
    HB6.5: I'll make sure to be back by then!
    Me: I'll keep in touch. ttyl.
    HB6.5: Ok. I gotta sleep too. Ttyl.

    So there's that. Let's see if she reciprocates.
    I'll forget about her otherwise.

  7. #7

    I'll stop rating women. seems stupid.

    I'll go HB1 or HB0 if I'm interested or not.

    Tuesday 2/28

    Had to work up till late, was tired. But I decide to try a bit of daygame anyway (it was, technically, night)

    The plan: Buy a couple mangas to brush up my Japanese reading skills, and ask random people for recommendations.
    So I headed to the bookstore.

    HB0 (Cute girl but she was a schoolgirl)
    Was looking at some manga cover when I feel someone besides me. She's too young -> AA -> eyes back to the manga shelves.

    Random Japanese Office Guy
    He was skimming some manga -> felt like interrupting -> AA -> back to browsing by myself.

    HB1. mid/late 20s cute girl
    Felt someone besides me, look at the side and she's there browsing.
    I keep browsing while moving right, she moves right along with me.
    "It's now or never." AA -> Never.


    I feel stupid so I pick up 3 mangas semi-randomly, buy them and leave.
    I plug my earphones and start listening some music to change my mood.

    I need to eat so I go towards an area that has little restaurants inside the train station.
    I always go to the same two places when there, so I decide to go to one I've never been to.

    I head to where I know there's a map of the area with the restaurant names.

    (The idiotic map was drawn with north on top instead of being relative to where the person looking is standing)

    While I'm looking at the map trying to make sense of it, some classy late 50s/early 60s lady stands besides me.
    I look at her and she's actually talking to me (can't hear because of the music)

    I unplug my earphones.

    She asks if I need help, I tell her I decided to go to X restaurant HERE on the map, but I'm trying to make sense of the map itself.

    Lady: "Oh, it's easy. This restaurant in front of us is *points at map* here, right?"
    Me: yes
    Lady: "So that restaurant is over *points direction*"
    (I look at the map)
    Me: Hhmm. The map says X station is in *this* direction. So the restaurant should be *pointing to totally different direction she pointed to*
    Lady: Hmm.

    Two 30-ish guys were waiting to take a look at the map, so she asks them.

    Guy #1: Ok, restaurant should be *points same direction lady pointed before*
    Me: I repeat: The map says X station is in *this* direction. So the restaurant should be *same direction I pointed before*
    (And I finally figure out that the map is upside down)
    Lady: No, that's where Y station is.
    Me: No, Y station is where you think X station is. Since X station is over there, and station Y is in that direction, the map is upside down, right? So, restaurant be must over *same direction I pointed before*
    Guy #1, Guy #2, Lady: Nodding.
    Me: Thanks.

    *sigh* Japanese people have no sense of direction at all.
    Well, it's not like I opened someone myself, but I feel a bit better after that.

    After I had eaten, I walked past the same map and there were two korean girls looking at the map. (I can sometimes tell if they are Japanese/Chinese/Korean by now lol)
    "I should ask if they need help" -> AA -> straight back home.

    *sigh*

  8. #8

    (tuesday was 27)

  9. #9

    (Binary rating HB0 -> wouldn't hit. HB1 -> I'd hit it)

    Wednesday 2/28

    Today I didn't do much, but I randomly reminded myself to focus on eye contact while on the usual social interactions.

    HB0.5, 7/11 clerk
    I'm not smiling, doing nothing in particular. I just went to buy smokes.
    They cost 460 yen. I hand a 1000 yen banknote, she rings the smokes, but to avoid getting 10 yen coins I tell her I have 60 yen.
    Since I know she's now confronted on having to do the math because the cash register shows the change for 1000 yen and not 1060, I quickly tell her "that'd be 500 yen". (I always do a thing to try to get 500 yen coins with the change. That kind of kicked-in automatically but the math was wrong, lol)

    I get out of the 7/11 and realize that the change should've been 600 yen. I smile to myself... and decide to use that smiling mood to LOCK MY FUCKING EYES WHILE SMILING with the clerk.
    I go back and look at her in the eyes and tell her that 500 was actually 100 short, while all smiles.
    She had her regular polite work smile, but as soon as our eyes meet her smile changes radically. It's very noticeable, a very different smile.
    She hands me my change smiling, gets nervous and looks away a bit. I thank her and leave.

    So... I got empirical confirmation that this shit does kind of work. lol.
    IE: Had I started the interaction already looking at her eyes, smiling, etc... I wouldn't know if she was in a good mood beforehand.
    But since I've changed somewhat in the middle of the interaction, I saw her mood change right in from of me.

    Interesting.

    HB1. late 30s. the tango teacher -> Let's call her Y.

    I was in a good mood, but I decide that trying to focus on the tango lesson AND game stuff is going to be hard, so I focus on tango.
    I've been to a couple of her lessons like 2-3 years ago and Y goes "long time no see" etc, basic social stuff.

    Although I've met her several times in the last years, we haven't really interacted much.
    Anyway, since I haven't really practiced tango for a couple of years I went to a beginner level lesson, lol.

    Y asks why am I attending a tango basics lesson, and I'm like "I don't know myself".
    I realize that, indeed, this lesson is way below my level despite my rustiness.

    So, I start focusing on Y a bit.
    I ask her a couple dancing questions, I step up the eye contact and smile more.
    She starts focusing more on me even though it's a group lesson, she goes harder on my mistakes, and I complain that this is too harsh for a beginner lesson while we are both laughing.

    The lesson ends and I take her for a dance, and we dance for the usual 3 songs span, while chatting idly here and there.
    After we stop dancing, we keep talking standing there for about a minute (the interaction got cut short when some guy asked for a dance.)

    She asks if I'm coming back to tango. I reply that I might, that right now my goal is complementing my jogging, mostly.
    But that I'm having more fun that I expected and that goal my change, etc.

    Anyway, I know Y has kids, she has a... husband? partner? no idea.
    I'm not trying to flirt. Just to keep my mood fun *and* making it fun for those interacting with me.
    Also, to keep the interaction going *further* than my interactions usually go, bring topics up, etc.

    Later in the night, she asks me for a dance, so there we go. idle chat while dancing.

    When we ended, we stand right there on the dance floor, she says dancing is fun to which I reply that yes, that I had forgotten how much fun dancing was.
    We start going back to the bar all while holding each others backs. She tells me that I should totally come back to tango, etc.
    I tell her I might, blahblah.

    I don't read much into her asking me to dance nor anything... I know she's eager to always get more people into this small tango scene.
    (I've been on that side, both as a regular and also as a barman there for a some of months).

    I'm just working on eye contact, keeping a fun mood, smiling, etc.
    That said, although I've known her for years, we have talked more today than all our other previous interactions together.

    When the guy asks Y for a dance, I see HB1 chubby going out for a smoke. I could get a smoke myself.

    HB1. late 20s. chubby -> Let's call her M.

    M is there with late 50s staff guy and late 40s funny guy, fiddling with her phone (I only know the staff guy).

    I ended up basically talking to funny guy (he talks non-stop and he's interested in this foreigner that speaks Japanese)
    I forgot what I was meant to do when I went out.

    So there's a group of 4 people with chubby girl and funny guy, I join.
    A girl asks M something (couldn't hear) and M replies that she lives in Tokyo, that she only comes around this area 2-4 times a year.
    I tell funny guy that that's an extremely convenient situation for men trying to pick her up, everyone laughs. (M's laugher is somewhat shy, maybe she wasn't that comfortable with the joke)

    Anyway, I decide I'm not interesed in her.

    HB1. mid 40s? shorty -> Let's call her N.

    She arrived around the time the lesson was ending.
    We made eye contact, but AA, eye-feet not there, whatever. Didn't approach.

    When the lesson ended and the party started I went to grab a quick bite since I hadn't had dinner.
    When I get back, I overhear the place owner saying her name and that she's from Fukuoka.

    I make note and use that 10 mins later.

    We cross paths, so I address her.

    Me: Hey, N from Fukuoka, right?
    N: Yes! I'm N, but I'm from Hiroshima. Sometimes I go to the Fukuoka tango place too.
    Me: Oh? Hiroshima?
    N: Yes! Where... *she makes a nuclear bomb gesture*
    Me: Yes, yes. Of course, I've been meaning to go to Hiroshima for a long time. Haven't been there though.
    N: You should come!
    Me: Oh! BTW, do you know K from Fukuoka?
    N: The K from X that sings?
    Me: No idea what X is, but she does sing!
    N: X is the tango place in Fukuoka.
    Me: That must be definitely her. (place owner) taught us tango here years ago. We were classmates and started at the same time. (I use this on purpose. Japanese find it funny that a guy from Argentina learned/started to dance tango in Japan of all places)
    N: *says something about learning tango in Japan but I'm not really listening*

    I'm not listening because I realized that I was looking at the fucking table. And not smiling.
    So I look at her in the eye, smiling. Her smile widens.

    Me: Well, say hi from me to K, then
    N: I will!
    Me: Let's dance!
    N: Yeah!

    We danced a couple songs, she says she's a bit drunk, I joke that it's ok, that I'm so rusty that not even sober she would be able to understand WTH I'm leading, etc.
    We started dancing open style (not that close to one another) but by the third song I get her comfortable enough to be in the tango hug stance (chest to chest contact).

    We come back to table and I keep the eye contact up and the smiling.
    Me: So, you go dance at Fukuoka?
    N: Well, I go to the Hiroshima place. Sometimes I go to Fukuoka.
    Me: So, how's the scene there. many people?
    N: (indecisive) Well, dunno how many people
    Me: (I take there's not many tango dancers there. She also wouldn't go to Fukuoka otherwise lol) But it's fun! right?
    N: Yes! The Hiroshima place is fun! You should come sometime.
    Me: I've been planning to go to Hiroshima sometime this year (this is not a lie), now that I know there's tango there too, more the reason to go
    N: (her eyes light the hell UP) Wait! You should come to the so-so event at Fukuoka!
    Me: The what event?
    N: There's a poster in the bathroom door! (She grabs me by my wrist and leads me to the bathroom door)
    N: There's gonna be a lot of famous tango dancers, and stuff. it's a four day event
    Me: Nice
    Place owner: You should come! I'm going too! There's a bunch of us that is gonna stay at some place, come stay with me!
    Me: Sweet! I even get a place to stay. It's settled, I'm totally going, now!
    (Note: we almost had a thing like 7 years ago with place owner, but she was an exLTR/on and off FWB of a good friend of mine at the time and I chickened out back then. No vibe from either us by now. She's a good friend.)

    Given the distance and stuff, I decide that N is good FWB material so I get her number.

    We chatted a bit more with N, then she got asked for a dance. I went for a smoke, and decided to go home, but took another girl for one last dance before leaving.

    (text)
    Me: It's namecips. Looking forward to Fukuoka.

    When I get home, I check and she wrote:
    N: I'll be waiting!! (hearts and starts)

    I'm not sure if I should text her more or just freeze this thing until a couple of days before the event at Fukuoka.

  10. #10

    Doh, I should have asked her to go for drinks or something on the weekend.....

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