After 34 years of feeling different, i got diagnosed with autism

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  1. After 34 years of feeling different, i got diagnosed with autism

    Hey guys,

    Im a 34 year old male. I got diagnosed with high functioning autism this year. All my life i have been feeling different. I have always trying to find an answer to why i feel different. But i never touched upon the subject of Autism. I always thought artists are weirdos. apparently not. Thats me. But on the high function scale.

    My biggest problems in life so far is the social aspects. Feeling emotions and caring for other people. I always felt that i care more for hobbies such as making music, more than i care for people. I feel music more than anything else in my life. I also care more for animals than people. I express myself better at writing or through music than words.

    Biggest issue with my autism so far? no relationships so far. No girlfriends. Even if i constantly get shown interest by girls i push them away. Because even when i date, the girls find my interesting, but i do not. I feel socialising is draining and the dating part is especially draining.

    I feel most comfortable being at home, listening to music, doing music, working on some projects. It gets lonely pretty often. Maybe i should start dating more? I haven’t really dated for 3 years now. used to date quite a lot. Girls show interest. But not me.

    Any inputs?



  2. #2

    After 34 years of feeling different, i got diagnosed with autism

    Hey,

    Recognized a few bits from your story. Not necessarily the autism part but the rest.

    Try questioning whether the "autism" is not just part of maybe a troubled childhood where you got hurt a lot and just closed yourself off. Its a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt again. If people let you down a lot in the past its easier to focus on projects and music for comfort as that will never hurt you like people.

    I too am not a very socializing guy and tend to stick to myself. One on one i am
    Fine but in a group i feel exhausted and cant keep up with all the impulses from the environment. Women have shown interest quite often but i always find excuses to turn them down or away. Even though i am Always complaining about wanting a partner. The "autism" gives of a very relaxed vibe i think and people feel at ease around it. Because you are in your own world there is not a lot that gets you off balance. This can be seen as high confidence by others.

    As for the dating part, try hanging out with people who share your interest for music. Might feel less draining and things can grow from there.

    Also try looking into "indigo souls", might help you find some answers.

  3. Hey bud, I'm going to jump out on a limb here and say that it's not all you either. Socializing in the way society is structured these days is just a fucking mess, men and women are pent up with not only sexual tensions, but, work related tensions, family tensions, social circle expectations, the expectations of the public. Everyone is supposed to act certain ways and while that is all going on, peoples feelings are repressed, and conversation is a mental circle jerk. Dude, I'm not autistic and I still get to the point where I don't want to be around people at all. I'm here to force myself to after being crushed from life, women and family. Specifically relationships and I just got over three years of not wanting to be around anyone. I have ptsd, people have anxiety and deppression, regression, neuroses... everyone has isms....and my buddy has a son with autism. He felt like he had to defend his integrity one day and was talking to me and said... maybe we all have the world wrong and he sees everything with clear eyes.i also knew a guy with a mid functioning autism. And yea he struggled with emotion too. You feel like saying everything the way you see it instead of sugar-coating everything. But I do know a little about autism. Almost every person that is autistic have an insatiable need to perfect what they are interested in, so... that kid I knew programmed computers just for fun.... I watched him build a computer out of parts in two days and reprogram it. I think you could be an amazing pua, maybe you just don't know it. It's exhausting for me to keep up social appearances as well man..... some people on here think that you have to be authentic.i could get women being authentic. But never the ones I wanted. I had to fake it to get women to lust after me and now I'm there with you back to square one, or at least square two cause I haven't pua, for six years. Funny thing, pus can get the girl, but the girl can fuck you up if your not careful with your emotion. Think about it... maybe it's a blessing.

  4. Pua, not pus lol.... but I could probable dangle some pus in front of an ex of mine and make her mouth water for sure.
    Last edited by gnostic; 04-12-2018 at 10:27 PM. Reason: misspelled

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by silko View Post
    Biggest issue with my autism so far? no relationships so far. No girlfriends. Even if i constantly get shown interest by girls i push them away. Because even when i date, the girls find my interesting, but i do not. I feel socialising is draining and the dating part is especially draining.
    What would be your reason for dating?

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