She never called back! I dont want to be clingy.

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  1. She never called back! I dont want to be clingy.

    Basically met a great girl on new year event party. I have spent all night since 10pm till 3 am with her dancing, talking, hugging, sitting at her table her mum was there she liked me too. Walked her home kissed on the way. I texted and we chated for a bit.
    Problem is that she isnt local and studies in other country. So within few days she had to go. She wasnt talking much on the way to airport via texts so i didnt want to appear clingy so i said:
    "Hey i dont want to come across clingy. So when ever you have free time and willingness to talk just call me)"
    She replied with: "You arent clingy its just im in airport a bit busy"
    "I will call)"
    "Have a good evening)"
    I replied: "Will be waiting)"
    "Have a good evening you too)"

    BTW she said she will be back in April in 3 months.
    Question is should i text or call first or still wait for her to remember to call me after almost a week? Or it means she isnt interested?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender:
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    So when was the last communication?

    I would try texting once or twice more. Ideally bringing up something you guys talked about/did when you were hanging out to spark the memory. If she replies, try and set a meet up for when she returns; then follow up on it closer to April.

    She could legitimately be busy. If she doesn't reply, I wouldn't chase it much. I usually text girls I number close with a future plan suggestion or continue a conversation we already had. She maybe just didn't have a whole lot to contribute since she was going through the airport and such.

    Let us know.

  3. Last communication that i stated above was 5 days ago. Since than i was just waiting for her call.

  4. #4

    You might want to re-evaluate whether it's worth putting your romantic life on hold for 4 months for this 1 particular woman.

    You had a fun time time in a party atmosphere. It's easy to confuse a girl enjoying herself in a situation with a girl enjoying herself because she's decided she wants to start a relationship with you.

  5. Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    You might want to re-evaluate whether it's worth putting your romantic life on hold for 4 months for this 1 particular woman.

    You had a fun time time in a party atmosphere. It's easy to confuse a girl enjoying herself in a situation with a girl enjoying herself because she's decided she wants to start a relationship with you.
    Im not willing to put anything on hold, i was just considering continuing talking on distance until she comes back.

    Yeah you have a point. However question is whether i wait for her to call or contact her first again?

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by romat31574 View Post
    However question is whether i wait for her to call or contact her first again?
    If you've got other options it doesn't really matter who calls whom first

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    If you've got other options it doesn't really matter who calls whom first
    What i mean is, if your goal is simply to have a chat buddy, then you can just chat with her whenever you feel like it.

    It doesn't matter either way since you can't progress for 3 months regardless. you could ignore her for 3 months and just reach out when she's back in town and it would work out the same or better.

  8. Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    What i mean is, if your goal is simply to have a chat buddy, then you can just chat with her whenever you feel like it.

    It doesn't matter either way since you can't progress for 3 months regardless. you could ignore her for 3 months and just reach out when she's back in town and it would work out the same or better.
    That is interesting suggestion. I was just thinking to keep up the contact with call and texts to build trust and attraction. To build some some platform before she comes back in 3 months. However on other side i dont want to come across clingy by text or calling first.

    However your suggestion about reaching out in 3 months seems quite interesting, i like the idea.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by romat31574 View Post
    That is interesting suggestion. I was just thinking to keep up the contact with call and texts to build trust and attraction. To build some some platform before she comes back in 3 months
    At some, false-logic-intuition level, it seems like a good idea to you to work on this "build a platform". Especially as a guy, we think in engineering terms... if we just pour some effort into something, we can build it.

    This is true on a strategic scale (i.e., if we work harder at our "game" we will increase the number of women we kiss) but it doesn't really apply on a tactical level. We can't build attraction with a particular woman just by sinking more effort into it, no matter how badly we wish we could. Often it's even self-defeating: more effort = less attraction.

    I'm all for you keeping in touch with her, but for logistical purposes. i.e.: to learn some basics about her, to reassure her you're sane, and to keep your finger on the pulse of her lifestyle so you're ready to claim time with her on her next visit. But it's pretty much guaranteed that any emotion connection she has to you (if any) is fixed based on the time you guys spent together, and attempting to build it via long-distance is probably wasted effort.

    Accordingly, worrying about details like "how many minutes should I wait to message her" is just you spinning the wheels in your head, they don't affect the outcome.

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