How To Ask Her Out - Page 3

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  1. Hi gq1,

    1.Since January, have you been picking up and having sex with other women?
    Only 1.

    If not, why?
    I,m fairly reclusive. Apart from work and sport, i dont go out much. At the moment i just want sex, but i find it hard to approach a woman with this in mind, as i always think that they are looking for a relationship.

    Do you still have "oneitis" for TravelGirl? (Or is she now in the "Worth pursuing, but also other fish in the sea" bucket?)
    I dont have oneits. I think she would be a great travel companion and would be very interested as to how things would play out if we saw each other again. I would say she is worth persuing, but i,m not ready for a relationship.



  2. #22
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    Hi Taboo, I wrote a lengthy reply and then the site told me "your post must be approved by a moderater"

    Long story short-
    1. Women who don't commit to plans with a guy are not very attracted to him. (Attraction usually goes away with time)
    2. You should still get active in pursuing women despite your preconception about what they want. You could be surprised what you'll discover.

  3. #23
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    For example, I was casually dating a girl for many months. For a few reasons I told her I couldn't date her any more. A week later she texts me saying "no relationship is ok, but could we still have a physical thing?"

  4. Ok, so after on and off contact with this girl over the past year, she contacts me out of the blue and says she is in town and she wants to meet up. This is the first time since our trip that we have seen each other. We meet up for drinks with another two of her friends that are a couple. Things went pretty well, i dropped her off at her friends place afterwards and we kissed for the first time. She had a 7am flight the next morning so she said she would be back in town in a few weeks and we would get together again then.

    Now i need your thoughts on the message that i sent her the next day. I wrote:

    "Afternoon Nina. Hope you landed safely. Thankyou for a great evening. Seeing you again made me ask myself why we hadnt done it sooner. Now that we have, i think we should do it again. What dates are you back in Sydney? I,d like to take you to see some live music, amongst other things.."

    Is this a good follow up?

  5. #25
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    seems ok to me.

    don't overthink things though. If you're very nervous about every text message or every sentence you say, then you're way too anxious and needy and she will sense it somehow.

  6. I can't work this human out. I messaged her on Sunday (3 days ago), and still no reply... Why did she even want to see me? I hadnt seen her for almost a year. Never spoke on the phone, just messages about possible trips, but no trips.. 1st she replies to a message that i sent 3 weeks ago saying, "i just saw this message, sorry. I,m in Sydney right now, are you free tomorrow arvo?" Then all night, she is saying, you should come to Melbourne, lets do another trip, what are we doing for your 40th next year?? Then she says, im back in Sydney in 4 weeks, doing a course, we should catch up for a couple of days.. I wasnt touchy feely at all during the night, just kept it friendly, but as i drop her home, i asked, do i get a kiss? So she quickly, gives me a pec on the lips, no feeling from her. Me being not satisfied, i ask for another. This one has a bit more toungue action and feeling from me, but cold from her. Then she pulls away again, blows me a kiss and says next time. Then goes. That was our first kiss. Sometimes i will meassage her and not hear from her for a month?? Is she using me for attention. Am i that guy she turns too when she is bored? How do i resolve this? Should i just call her and ask her how she really feels about me? I regret not being a bit more hands on at the bar. Touching her arm, telling her i missed her and all the rest. Was this a booty call? Please help. You guys know i need it..

  7. I think i stuffed up though. When we went out for drinks, i told her that i had been back a month from another Trek, and while i was there, i met a girl, but it was just a fling. I told her it was over, and that she got too serious, too quickly. Was this a nail in the coffin?

  8. #28

    It's a bad idea to bring up other flings with someone you're getting to know. Plus she might have multiple boyfriends she chooses not to discuss. My mindset is "when you're with me, you're all that matters to me" and just go by how we're vibing. Most of the conversations when she's long distance should just be kept upbeat and casual and somewhat flirty, but if she's not replying back, I'd just let it go - but you want her to look forward to seeing you sooner than later.

  9. #29
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    Sigh, you need to work on the basics, this is all pickup 101 type stuff going wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by taboo79 View Post
    Why did she even want to see me?
    If you have to ask this question then you have a confidence problem.

    I wasnt touchy feely at all during the night, just kept it friendly,
    So you deliberately tried to friendzone yourself? Ok.

    but as i drop her home, i asked, do i get a kiss?
    Waiting until end of night to attempt a kiss is bad on many levels.

    Begging for a kiss will invariably destroy any attraction which survived your friendzone scheme.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by taboo79 View Post
    So she quickly, gives me a pec on the lips, no feeling from her.
    No surprise after you worked so hard to avoid building any sexual tension

    Me being not satisfied, i ask for another. This one has a bit more toungue action and feeling from me, but cold from her.
    A woman is giving you "No" signals. That's the time to back off, not dial it up even higher.

    Is she using me for attention. Am i that guy she turns too when she is bored?
    Probably she was vaguely interested in you until she got to know you better.

    How do i resolve this?
    Forget her. Learn from your mistakes. Study the basics of pickup. Practice dating with other women.

    Should i just call her and ask her how she really feels about me?
    You could, but why? Her lips already told you loud & clear how she feels.

    Was this a booty call?
    Nope, a booty call involves sex, and you will never have sex with this woman.

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