How To Ask Her Out - Page 2

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  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    Fretting about crafting the perfect text just pulls you away from being authentic. As long as you're polite, simply saying what you're thinking is usually a good baseline.
    This.


    Silver



  2. Ok, so she did reply. Here is what has happened since.

    Her: Morning!! Sorry for the tardy reply.. I'm ALWAYS up for an adventure still working out my year but keep me in the loop... My friend was talking about this trip he did which was amazing... ( Then she sends me link to the Trips website)

    Me: K2 BC looks special. I,m keen. I,m planning on doing the Inca Trail and Torres Del Paine in March/April, throwing in some Canyoning. Possibly the Lost City in Colombia also. When would you look at doing K2?

    Her:Not sure yet gotta plan this year a bit better its a bit all over the shop-I,ll get back to you but if i go it,ll likely be oct/nov. Tores del paine is on the bucket list but not this year already booked up till after April.

    Me:Ok. If your plans change, we are more than happy for you to join us in South America. Hit me up when you get your year mapped out, and we can organise something Magnifique. Africa interests me also.. Happy New Year Melissa!


    Thoughts?

  3. #13

    You didn't say anything about fucking her. You just made yourself a travel partner.


    Silver

  4. I chose the ambiguous route Silver.

    Any other opinions?

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    41
    Posts
    505

    Quote Originally Posted by taboo79 View Post
    I chose the ambiguous route Silver.
    Don't fool yourself.

    You took the "I'm afraid of rejection route"

    If you really want to travel with this lady, then either make it happen or make her say no. "Hit me up when you get your year mapped out" just screams polite indifference. If she ever had interest in you, you're suffocating it.

  6. Guys,

    She said twice, quite clearly that she would "let me know' once she has sorted her year out. That screams out to me to stop pushing. I, ve shown interest in her trip idea without sounding too needy, and have shown her that i have other things happenning (that i invited her to).

    Isnt this "playing the game"??

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    41
    Posts
    505

    Quote Originally Posted by taboo79 View Post
    . I, ve shown interest in her trip idea without sounding too needy, and have shown her that i have other things happenning (that i invited her to).

    Isnt this "playing the game"??
    I think your self-consciousness about "playing the game" is holding you back from simply being real.

    The solution to "sounding needy" isn't to self-censor. It's to change your attitude & your life so you're no longer needy.

    If you felt like you & this girl had a connection over a multi-week trek, then embrace it! Tell her "dammit you're busy til april? That sucks, I'm ready to on the next trip with you right now! But the next best thing we can do is plan our trip for May, right??"

    You're afraid of the answer so you won't ask the question. But what you have to realize is: this girl has already decided whether she will have sex with you or not. The letter is waiting in your mailbox. Now you have to walk outside and open it.

  8. Yeah,

    I can see what you are saying.

    Thanks to all that have given me advice on this subject. I will try to put this advice into practice and let you guys know how it turns out.

    Great Forum!

  9. Ok,

    So after not hearing from her for a couple of months, she sends me a message out of the blue and asks me how I am, and how my year has been. I keep it short and sweet and say that i have booked another holiday in April to______, then ask her if she went on her ski trip to Japan. She says she cancelled her trip and that if i was going to ______ next summer, that she would be in for sure. She then ends the message with "I miss you". I replied with a positive vibe, and ended with a "So what do you miss about me"?

    She didnt reply. The next mesaage i sent her was a couple of months later from my holiday in _______. She replied with a "I wish i was there, thanks for the text".

    I messaged her again when i got back, and said that i was home, and was planning to do another trip in a couple of months, and asked her if she would like to join me. She said she was keen, so i proceeded to look into further and got back to her with some details. Now she says she is struggling for cash, and that she might need to change her plans, and that she would let me know when she has deicided. She ends by saying "so i,m hoping for a cheapish adventure?

    Whats my next move?

    I,m more confused than ever. I feel that i am making all the effort, and that she shows some interest. I just cant get her to commit to anything.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender:
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    41
    Posts
    505

    Thanks for the follow up. Here's my questions:

    1. Since January, have you been picking up and having sex with other women?
    2. If not, why?
    3. Do you still have "oneitis" for TravelGirl? (Or is she now in the "Worth pursuing, but also other fish in the sea" bucket?)

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