Hi, I'm a 29 y.o. virgin, desperate for help

I never actually thought I'd get to the point where I'd have to ask for advice concerning dating and sex but here I am.

I'm a 29 year old virgin, turning 30 in a couple of weeks. Head full of hair, decent face, 5'11'', not too small "down there" (5.5' - not too large either) but the biggest physical issue is that I'm quite fat (~200lbs). I also have a mild congenital heart issue, stable & under treatment.

Grew up around obsessively Christian relatives (not too religious myself).

I have never kissed a woman. My last proper "date" was 10+ years ago and had met her through friends. I simply... can't charm women. While I've tried flirting many times, I lock up when having to talk to women, huge anxiety issues.

Tried Tinder and got 8 matches in 2 days, but having no idea how to talk to women, I got unmatched by almost every single one. The rest just stopped replying.

Currently working in IT, decent pay but have no car yet (no driver's license). Don't live with my parents or anything.

I currently have no social circle (different city), no friends to go out to clubs, bars, concerts, etc. with.

Part of my anxiety is that I feel like there are so many fitter, healthier, richer men out there so why would anyone want to date or have sex with me ?

Another issue is that whenever I'm about to do a cold approach I feel guilty as if I'm intruding in that woman's life.

I feel guilty when reading the bios of women on tinder. Many of them have traveled and studied abroad, they work as medics, lawyers, actors, beauticians, etc..

Meanwhile I'm a measly little coder pumping out C++ code in my dark corner of the office.

I've started doing moderate exercise and therapy but I need help to get out of this rut.

I just don't want to feel like a defective product anymore, even if that's what I truly am.