Journal - B33J

Thread: Journal - B33J

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  1. #1

    Journal - B33J

    Hey everyone,

    Im B33J, a mostly chill, good-looking guy of average height with a thin build and dark complexion. I have had some success in the past with gaming in undergrad and ended up in an LTR for 2 years. Got back into game again after the breakup and met my current girlfriend a few months later. She is amazing, we have been together for 6 years.

    I got into medical school and have been away for the last 2 years with 2 more to go. Long distance has been totally fine for our relationship so far and we have recently agreed to make it open. We have a very trusting and understanding dynamic. She can mostly understand what it is like to be male and fully accepts my desire for other women. She encourages me to pursue women sexually while we are long distance but discourages emotionally intimate relationships. This is a good fit because my desires are purely sexual, I dont need to connect with any women for emotional intimacy Im secure. It may prove to be bias or naivety, but I do not believe the relationship would be significantly impacted if I pursued sexual relationships during my time away, save for disasters like pregnancy or STIs. I will be using protection!

    So now Im going to re-enter the game after a long hiatus and start from scratch one step at a time. In the past I struggled with approach anxiety. I know I still will, but my inner confidence has improved immensely and I feel secure in my relationship, my finances, my occupation, and my social circle. I dont need anyone or anything right now - Im good. I anticipate the challenges will be approach anxiety and logistics. I'm looking forward to tackling social anxiety, I have always hated it.

    Medical school is very demanding right now, I am rotating through different specialties often with long hours (my first 3 weeks were 100 hrs/wk) and with already severely limited study time for exams. Despite this I will make at least 1 hour per day available to game. This hour will invariably be day game as I do not party anymore late nights are just not going to work.

    My plan is to add competency in a step wise fashion with at least 5 approaches per day, 35 per week. University campus game will be most convenient, I need to study, and I dont have time to invest in any targets long term, so I plan to focus on the following:
    1) Approaching mostly students during the day
    2) Pulling them for an instant or same day coffee date on campus
    3) Arranging for a study date as a follow up the same week
    4) Escalating physically and starting a sexual relationship as soon as possible

    This framework will be open to change based on experience

    My goals are as follows for the next school year:
    1) Oct 1 2017 to Dec 1 2017
    100 approaches approach anxiety busting goal - women of any caliber/age
    2) Dec 1 2017 to Feb 1 2017
    100 approaches approach anxiety busting goal - attractive women only
    3) Feb 1 2017 to Apr 1 2017
    100 approaches instant date goal - 10 same day dates attractive women only
    4) Apr 1 2017 to Jun 1 2017
    100 approaches follow up date goal - 10 study dates attractive women only
    5) June 1 2017 to August 1 2017
    100 approaches lay goal - 10 lays attractive women only

    These goals can be accomplished earlier or surpassed and approaches with anxiety busting goals can be taken as far as I want. I will use a step wise increase in competency for all these approaches and push the interaction further as I improve.

    Im hoping to use this journal as extra motivation and a source of support. Looking forward to learning from you all.
    B33J



  2. #2

    Oct 1 2017
    Day 1

    It was a beautiful day. I walked to get groceries on a study break and swung by a mall. The goal for today was to simply say hi to 5 women of any caliber.
    That mission was accomplished - not much to report but I did learn a few things:

    1) there are plenty attractive women on their own in the mall, some are on a mission some are browsing and could easily be approached. 5 approaches could be easily accomplished in 1 hour at a mall.
    2) women working are bored and 100% available to be approached.
    3) simply saying hello is a step in the right direction but it lacks purpose and is often surprising for women going about their day. I think a purposeful approach would be best.
    4) women have plenty of fashion items to complement on, there are infinite situational things to open with.
    5) women will at least respond to approaches during the day. People are polite.
    6) there are a ton of women in grocery stores and they are often alone.
    7) I get anxious even saying hello, but feel fine afterward. There's no real reason to avoid approaching.

    What I did well:
    1) Focused on accomplishing the mission and overcoming anxiety.
    2) Took action and started with a first step.

    What I could have done better:
    1) there were extra opportunities to approach and many that could have gone further.

    Goal for tomorrow:
    5 approaches - any women - simple complement

    B33J

  3. #3

    Oct 2 2017
    Day 2

    Another nice day. I got off early from the hospital, took a nap, and walked around on campus to make my 5 approaches before studying. The goal for today was to complement 5 women of any caliber. Technically, I didn't accomplish this but I'm satisfied with the effort.

    It took a while of walking to get into the mind to say anything to anyone. Girls were never making eye contact. Many were walking glued to their phones or had ear buds. I figured these were valid obstacles but not valid excuses so I plowed through and resolved to do carry on anyway.

    1) Woman walking toward me with a light brown jacket. I said "Nice jacket" and she blew right past me - stone faced without any acknowledgement what so ever.

    --It didn't feel great, but after I realized there was no consequence and I would live. I hoped it would prove to be an isolated result.

    2) Another woman walking toward me. "Nice shades" - same thing happened with a bit of a submissive head turn downward. Owch, not an isolated result after all.

    --This felt like she was defensive in some way. I began to assess what I was doing. I realized just calling out a complement was too abrupt for people to shift attention, register what was said, and respond. In the end they just ignore it because it's too late or too weird. I realized some kind of forewarning was required.

    3) A black girl alone by a wall listening to music. I went up to her, stuck out my hand into her field of vision to get her attention while saying "hey there". She took out her earbuds and responded with hello. I asked her if there was a quiet spot or a library in the building to study. She said there was a reading room and happily gave me directions. I said thank you and pointed to her hair saying I liked it. She said thank you.

    --This was fine, but I felt she was slightly weary that I was going to try to hit on her. I got the complement in but it required a more relevant set up and attention getting body language. I could have been more cheerful about it. Overall it was smooth and I dealt with the apprehension well.

    4) A girl leaving a building, same question, similar body language with the outstretched arm. Went fine. No complement.

    5) A girl packing up, same question. Went fine. No complement.

    --These two weren't very satisfying but they were much better than just a random complement. I have to stop the girl or there's no point, but these relevant questions are a bit too easy. Girls are almost always willing to help though. I guess it is a successful but lame opening strategy. I could have been more friendly and more expressive, I was too serious.

    6) A girl walking on the sidewalk with a box. I caught her eye briefly and walked across the street directly for her. I thought this was ample warning and certainly got her attention. I asked with a smile "what you got there". It was a karaoke machine. I responded with much enthusiasm and we chatted for a while about the exchange program she was running as we walked. As I peeled off to go another way she asked me my name.

    --Certainly a good result. A relevant situational opener mixed with enthusiasm and positive body language is much more effective. Advanced attention was key here. The conversation flowed fine and could have continued, but it could have been more purposeful and smoother. Anxiety negatively influences my conversational skills. With practice and exposure, I'm confident it will get better.

    What I did well
    1) Stuck to it despite poor results
    2) Adjusted rapidly and appropriately to something more effective. Applied lessons.
    3) I started a full flowing conversation from nothing with a complete stranger. I'll take that over complements.

    What I could have done better
    1) Increase expressiveness and friendly body language
    2) Attention grabbing and forewarning - this will help with the phone and earbud obstacles as well
    3) Continue an opened set for practice, don't cut it short for no reason

    Tomorrow I will make 5 approaches with attention grabbing to stop a moving target and use relevant situational openers or questions and then change the subject using a complement or by starting some conversation.

    Hoping to have something more exciting for you all soon. Baby steps feel good though! I am thinking of gearing my progression toward direct approaches. I don't feel like fucking around with backhanded and under the radar mind-games. Ain't nobody got time fo that.

    B33J

  4. Good to see that you are sticking to things consistently and that you have put up your results for other guys to see and learn from. Keep up the good work, stay positive. I look forward to hearing from you.

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