Pursuing long term ex's close friend.
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  1. Pursuing long term ex's close friend.

    So It's begun. I'm going after my ex's close friend. (We're both 22)

    There's a TLDR at the end, but here's the long part.

    It's been about a year since we split and months since NC. She's got a boyfriend and I've been dating around. All is well. But now, I figured I would regret it if I never went for her friend.

    Little background. I could tell her friend was into me the entire relationship. I doubt she would've acted on it though (she's a good girl). But also, my ex would mention that her fiend would talk about me. My ex even felt uncomfortable if she was around me.

    Now, come some time later, I decided to text her.

    I texted with a joking opener, she replied with a joke pretty quick, but in general she takes a long time to reply. Hours and hours. But the texts aren't lazy or anything. They're fine in length and welcoming in nature.

    There were 5-10 exchanges and then I asked to hang out. She said "Yeah, definitely". So I asked "Are you free tonight?" She got out late from work and wasn't able. (Also, I know to call, but the last time I said a word to her was maybe last year, so I figured a message was most appropriate).

    I asked her when she will be free. I'll just call and ask to hang out whenever she says she's free, since I know I wont be calling during work or something.

    Haven't heard from her since last night.

    Am I handling it fine? Anything I should do differently?

    Also, if it makes any difference, it's on snapchat and she replies when she opens it. And maybe it's weird but I like knowing where I stand so I checked her score and it goes up (meaning she's opening and sending stuff) between the long periods of no message.

    TLDR: Going after long term ex's friend. Ex already has a boyfriend and ties are severed with her. Her friend takes a really long time to reply, but sends quality texts.



  2. #2

    I wish I could help you as well, I recently made a thread going through something very similar right now! Good luck and I hope it goes good for you!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Stop over thinking and overlooking into stuff. Keep a dialogue open and pitch a meet up, stop being passive and expecting her to come back and suddenly take the lead arranging everything for you.
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
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  4. #4

    Ex, no-Ex, doesn't make a difference.

    Stop wasting your time with endless texting. That's ridiculous. She already knows who you are and what you are about, you don't need to spend time making her comfortable.

    Just frikkin' make a date already. When you're on the date, get physical (Holding hands, etc.). Tell her what you told us: "If I didn't ask you out I knew I'd regret it."

  5. #5

    ''Hey what about next week sunday ? I have soccer practise on friday and some family thing saturday afternoon but I would be free on sunday!''
    Try making plans a decent time before actually having the plans. I always use a week at least, I am a busy guy so I need to plan my time accordingly. She will appreciate that. If she isnt able to do sunday and doesnt propose another day to do something. You really need to do some more work. Judging on your text she is still a ''medium fuse'' (ultimate text and phone book reference) and she need to be burned down to a short fuse. Which is pretty normal and can happen if you havent seen anyone in a long time.

    If I was interested in a girl 2 years ago and she asked me on a date out of the blue. I might be hesistant. Well maybe she changed. Maybe I was in a particular phase in my life. Ofcourse I will be way less hesistant then if a stranger would ask me but still i would need some comfort that she is still the same cool girl.

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