Project Rockstar 2017 Journals - Page 22

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  1. #211

    Sept 14 / 15
    Wednesday night tonight is our first official night out. We hit cafe opera in the non table group. I have a lot of fun. The place is very dynamic. Groups of girls move around constantly, they are with you, and then they move someone else, then come back and then leave around. I compare it to musical chairs where the girls have got ants in their pants. Matching the girls energy seems like a good idea. None of the interactions came close to a result for me. I struggled a little bit, approaching wasnít as easy. I felt outside my comfort zone. Talking with the instructors they mentioned this is totally normal to feel. It takes a few days to adjust.

    Thursday is circle of truth. I tried to give as brutally honest feedback as I could and made it sharp. Iíve found 3 or 4 words that cut to the point are often what cuts through your shield and makes an impact that is memorable. I found giving and receiving feedback such a gift. It is a gift that unfortunately your normal friends and family are too polite to give. For my circle of truth, some of the feedback is surprising and cuts deep. My natural reaction is to fight back and give my perspective but the important bit is to listen and take your medicine. On reflection the important bit is to focus on overall themes and not as much the specific examples.

  2. Blog 20
    Day 50, September 15, 2017
    after talking to some people, i came to the conclusion i needed to take the day to myself and just sit in silence for a change and let everything sink in. it felt good. i walked about for a bit, came back to the hotel and just sat in silence. well it the cafe downstairs stated blasting music. it’s Friday after all. eventually i found myself in fetus position and i went off to sleep for an hour or so. i’m still here in bed as i’m writing this. right now i just feel so calm and relaxed. like a huge weight was lifted off of me.
    at night i happen to go the the same spot as Wednesday and i was a bit nervous as there was no table there. my feelings were i’ll be left all alone to fend for myself and all the other guys would be busy doing their thing. it was quite the opposite. we stuck around with each other the entire time and winged too. i had a better time there than being in a table situation. towards the end of the night i had talked to probably every girl in the club at least once and for my own short falls failed to pull out a girl who was green for sure. at least later i realized that. over all a good night as i stayed till the end and just plowed through the night. something i haven’t done in last 2 weeks.

    Day 51, September 16, 2017
    i’m still soaking in the drilling from the circle of truth. there were moments when i didn’t think about those issues and those little times felt good. and then the sinking feeling came in. it was nice to go out for lunch with one of the guys i’ve bonded the most and just talking to him. at a point during the lunch tears were rolling out while we were taking and it felt good to share it some him. the seminar started late today and most of it i was out of state, just sitting on the side lines and not being to much a part of the group. but i needed that. i’ve made a point to write these blogs after seminar nowadays and right now as I’m trying, i feel a sense of me coming back to normal and going back to the group and joining them in all the activities and not just the required ones. i’ll take some time and let this take its natural course. one thing’s for sure tonight, i’m looking forward to going out as its a good away for me to get out of my head and just focus on other better problems, also known as blonds.
    the night stated out to be good, loved the new spot i was able to go to. unfortunately the main dance floor/club area was closed for a private event and we all had to make the best of it. the girl i met on Wednesday came out to see me but her friend was the biggest obstacle and about 2am i had to let them go. live to fight another day. went to soli later but it was kind of too late did the best i could with the given situation. some learnings about being masculine and leading confidently came out of last night.

    Day 52, September 17, 2017
    started the day with story time which is always fun, and then we just went into our debris. felt so good and such a change to the “back to the vegas” routine. just that made me feel good and happy. later we went out, but it was a dead night, all the bars and lounges we went to was quite empty, but made the best of the night and just took that time to hang out and bond more with some of the guys.

  3. #213
    Join Date
    May 2017

    Day 51-53 (16-18 Sep)

    I’ve been enjoying the relatively different pace here in Stockholm. It’s given us all a lot more opportunities to just hang out, have lunches and dinners together, go for coffee, sit around and talk shit. The seminar today was very laid back, and we got an insight into the journey the senior instructors have taken so far, where they’re at, and reminisced over stories and experiences. The whole vibe here is perfect for where we’re all at; it’s starting to gear our minds back to life outside the program, but in a different way. None of us will be going back to our old lives in the same way; some of us have to go back home to sort a number of things out, many will continue to travel and work on themselves as they let the dust settle and determine what they want to do, but it’s safe to say no one will be the same or go back to their old lives. That’d be like asking to go back into the matrix; it’s impossible and besides, why would you want to?

    We went out again, I chose not to go to the club with the table (being on a budget I need to be reasonable with how many I go to). We had a great night, dancing and focussing on bringing the fun. After Budapest where I re-found my high energy fun streak, I’ve been bringing that to the party here in Sweden and it goes down well. A few times this night people commented on us being the life of the dance floor, and also noted we did it without drinks in our hands at any point. Another Rockstar and I met a cute girl that was instantly into both of us, and we had some great banter and fun, it was progressing quickly before we lost her but got numbers to continue another day. We stayed and hung out with a group of girls that had been hanging around looking at us for a lot of the night. After a number of logistics solving and leading, the four of us ended up back in my room. One of the girls was into her friend and both of us guys, but her friend was a bit taken back by the suggestion. My friend and her left shortly after.

    The next day I hung out with another Rockstar for a coffee, before one of the guys presented some of his prior experience with rapid language learning. The guy speaks something like 7 languages and has a very structured system for rapidly learning and integrating it. The meta learning process involved was interesting. The talent of the people on this program continually amazes me. The night was a night off, but we went and hung out at a small bar anyway. I wasn’t interested in talking to anyone but my friends, and I was still dealing with some sickness so we left early to hang out. I ended up getting inspired, talking about business and ideas with one of the instructors, and just bonding over life in general.

    This program is about so much more than game. It’s about helping people to see all the elements to live a good and fulfilling happy life, giving them to tools to make it happen. While only a small number of people get the opportunity to be moulded by this insane experience, the level of impact to each individual is so great that I honestly don’t think there’s anything else in the world that could do such a thing, in such a short period. Still so grateful and in shock that I’m here.

    Today we had the first of the business mentor seminars, and wow it was fantastic. The first mentor presenting is a very successful online entrepreneur, and watching him in his element was amazing. He was great at throwing all the puzzle pieces up on the board so we could see the full picture of how he made his success, knowing full well that we could drill down and spend months on each piece. It’s exciting and inspiring stuff for me, right before I head home to hustle and do something very similar. After seminar, a few of us had dinner and then met up with some of the guys and hang out at a coffee shop then a local pub (it was another night off). One of the guys was casually sitting next to a girl at the next table, and when I looked over about 20 minutes later they were gone, and none of us batted an eye; just the start of what becomes normal after being on Rockstar. It’s been great to hang with the guys in settings where we’re not interested in game at all, but if there’s a cute girl and it’s additive to our fun or vibe, someone will talk to her. It’s a big shift/relief from normal life where people have a bunch of anxiety making genuine connections with random strangers, or even during most of Rockstar when everyone is looking for people to talk to. We headed back to the hotel and hung out for a few more hours before sleep.

  4. #214

    Stockholm Diary #4

    So, we have finally arrived at the business leg of this tripÖ a full week of millionaires telling stories of how they made it. From what weíve heard so far, it seems to be all about dedication, tenacity and trial and error. Most of the insights shared are very valuable, but do not seem to be rocket science at all. At most, they are very counter-intuitive. Funny enough: in game and self-development, weíre being told to trust our guts all the time, and now our business gurus step up and tell us that in that domain, we have to put our assumptions and gut feelings aside and measures every little thing we do and blindly trust the data weíre getting.

    The biggest takeaway from all those business seminars will likely be another mindset shift Ė seeing that starting a multi-million-dollar business is not something reserved to the geniuses of this world, some exclusive few born with a certain understanding or only those with rich parents, but instead is a skill that can be learned. What is takes is some research, finding a mentor, a lot of network and focusing on the right aspects and not losing yourself in the nitty-gritty of menial daily tasks. And most importantly: starting, trying and tinkering with the approach on a daily basis instead of losing yourself in overthinking. And surrounding yourself with like-minded people who share the same approach of ďI donít know what Iím gonna do yet and I donít have the faintest idea of how Iím gonna make it work, but Iím most definitely set on living my own life and finding my own ways.Ē That is crucial to keep yourself from giving in to your self-doubts that most certainly will eventually creep up time and again.

    We got less than 2 weeks left Ė incredible. The mindset shifts weíve all experienced and the growth weíve had as individuals and as a group are mind-blowing, but game-wise I feel so far from the hooking point, and business-wise I havenít even started putting energy into itÖ Itís not that at the end of those 9 weeks weíll be the rockstars we want to be; itís rather that at the end of the formal part of PRS weíll have opened up our minds to what might be possible and what it takes to get there. Develop the mindset of a rockstar first, then put all your effort into truly building the life of one. Stockholm is almost over, but the journey has just about begunÖ

  5. Sweden #3

    Saturday September 15, 2017.

    I understand why we spend so much time on Rockstar in Sweden, the women are beautiul. This was highlighted on Saturday, when we walked into the club and it was kind of empty, but the women that were there were stunning.

    Within a half hour or so, our table was popping off, and a bunch of us were dancing on the booth bringing girls in and out. Just an awesome party vibe.

    I spent some time walking around with a couple of Rockstars, talking about the most random things we could think of, and to an extent it worked. But nothing was really "hitting". I would have a couple good interactions here and there but it wasn't hitting the way I knew it could. The problem was that I felt like I turned into too much of a ďfunnyĒ guy, just spouting random crap, instead of bringing masculinity and realness in my conversations.

    This was highlited even further by an instructor who found he had the same problem. He had a smoking hot blonde girl he was with for the entire night and while things would ramp up with them, she would keep telling him she wasnít going home with him. He realized once it was too late, that she told him this 4/5 times because he was being fun and funny, but not bringing anything that would show who he was. She didnít see him as a real person.

    Itís interesting to hear about a guy whoís been in this so long is sitll constantly learning. Itís a never ending journey just like life.

    Sunday September 16, 2017.

    The thing I like about this leg of the trip is that itís much similar to what my real life will look like.

    Vegas and Mykonos were hyper reality. Going out 6, sometimes 7 nights a week plus seminars. There was no time to breathe. Sure there might be times in my life when I go out that much, but the truth is if it was up to me I don't love going to night clubs.

    One of the instructors said the same thing today in seminar. Sure, going to a party with friends or going to a nightclub where he likes the music, but outside of that it's not his thing. And thatís totally fine.

    When I say I donít love going to night clubs, I mean that itís fun sometimes and there are nights I enjoy going out more than other, but I'm introverted by nature. Thereís guys in this group that are more outgoing than most and who will enjoy it way more than I do and thatís ok. Understanding who we are as a person is a huge part of our journey and is going to help us with dating, but also with everything in life. Instead of trying to jam and round peg into a square hole, we will know where we fit and just slide right in.

    A couple of the guys were going out tonight, but I just didnít feel up to it. I knew that I could push through it and go out giving it 50% of my best effort, or I could take the night off relax and be 100% ready for the next night out. So that's what I did.

    My feedback from the circle of truth was that I should open up more and getting to know the other guys a bit better. So I messaged another Rockstar who wasnít going out, went over to his place and we chopped it up. Mostly about our lives pre Rockstar and what itís going to be like post Rockstar.

    We came to the terrifying realization that thereís only two full weeks left, and the days are going by too fucking fast. But at the same time I get excited about my life after the program because itís going to be fucking amazing...

  6. #216
    Join Date
    May 2017

    PR Journal 20 Tuesday Sept 19

    After 7 years, I am ready to stop working on game. Donít get me wrong, I still have a lot that I want to improve upon. But if I continue to work on those things, the fulfillment that I get from my life is going to decline. Sure, I can keep going out and smashing into really hot models. But if I want to do that, I will need to get a job, because I still have student loans to pay off, and will have little to no money once this program ends. I made a decision for myself that I never wanted to go back to a corporate job. I plan on living at home with my parents once I finish, and from there I will work from what little savings for as long as possible before looking at a freelance job.

    Itís just a matter of what I want my life to look like. I understand that one of my greatest drivers is attaining a sense of freedom in my life, to be able to choose where I live, what I do, who I hang out with. Getting a job satisfies the means of affording all of that, but it will never allow me to decide when I get to do those things. I want to live in a reality where I can live in another country, I can go eat at fancy restaurants, I can go back packing for 4 weeks, I can go spend a month with my family, I can take care of the people around with me without fear of how that will affect my own lifestyle. I canít do that unless I am in control of both my finances and my time.

    Once I have that control, that is when I will be able to really push the boundaries of what is possible in my life. Because I will have the freedom to invest my time where I want to invest my time. Just from the work and money lens, being able to work at my own endeavor for 8 hours a day is allowing me to build an asset for myself that I can either sell down the line or realize a cash flow from. If I work for someone else, as soon as I leave I am back to square one.

    I can go work out at the gym 7 days a week, devote two hours there, hire a personal trainer, have time and/or money to do my food prep.

    I can afford to hang out with extraordinary people that are used to living a lifestyle that previously was out of my reach.

    When I think about the next time Iím going out or what Iím going to work on next, immediately my focus turns to working on business. This has never happened before. I have always looked at my time and thought about girls, hanging with them, banging with them. But I feel like Iím at a place now where I am comfortable with my skillset, and that by working on building the foundation of my financial future, I will be able to grow even faster when I get back into it. And then maybe a couple years down the line, I can dive back into this feeling fulfilled in the knowledge that I have the rest of my life in order.

  7. Blog 21
    Day 53, September 18, 2017
    just 2 weeks left in the program and we are kicking this week off with the mentor seminars and learning how they made their wealth and how we can learn from them and get into similar businesses and do something like them or take help from them to progress in our respective fields. we have three mentors this year and each have been assigned two days of seminars to break down their journey and to learn from them and their experiences. later at night the guys all went out but i just was so tired that i fell asleep quite early. seems like my body is kind of giving up to the 3 hour a night sleep cycle so i just listened to his and pretty much slept fourteen hours.

    Day 54, September 19 2017
    Same mentor's seminar today and we went in depth in topics such as affiliate marketing and copywriting and how we ca use his knowledge to scale our business. I've already made a few pages of notes on my takeaways for my business already.
    At night some of us decided to go check out the strip club scene for a bit before heading to our usual weekday spot. Spoiler alert, it's not worth going there and you are better off just chilling with the boys at the bar close to the hotel like we usually do.

  8. #218
    Join Date
    May 2017

    Day 54-55 (19 Ė 20 Sep)

    Hit the gym with one of the Rockstars, itís always good training with a friend and I love training with this guy. We headed back to seminar for another day of the business mentoring seminar, more great stuff. Itís been great to see all the pieces for online business and lifestyle business thrown up on the board, to give an idea of whatís possible. Itís going to take a lot of hard work and effort, but between my organisational management skills, engineering, general business and marketing knowledge from my MBA, and then the paths these presentations are illuminating, I feel Iím going to succeed, in some form or another. Iím excited for it.

    I didnít go out again, as I was feeling very tired and just wanted to spend more time with the guys, which was time well spent.

    I feel as if Iím at a point where my game is good enough that Iím hitting diminishing returns on going out and talking to people. Sure, I still learn something from every interaction and every experience is more data points, but Iím sure the next phase of my growth isnít going to come from game at all; it comes from working on living a full life, one with passion for other things such as my business, community, friendship circle, travel and experiences, fun, family Ė basically fulfilment in other areas. Improving each of these things will propel my game further; being able to pick up a girl in a bar is just one skillet, itís one layer to the whole picture of relationships and dating, and that is all one element that bleeds into all of life. I feel itís time I delve into the deeper layers, and the tangential layers. The skills weíve learned are applicable in nearly everything in life, because weíve learned new ways of thinking, being, acting, all centred around giving and growing, that we can literally succeed in anything. As I move into the next phase, I know the skills will still be there, will take work to maintain, but for where Iím at, building a business and a full life is the next step. Iíll still work on elements of my game, such as text and more normal conversation/banter/humour, but it wonít be my sole focus. I know Iíll come back to it.

    We started the next mentorís presentation, which was another amazing insightful talk. Iím still feeling a bit sick, but Iím getting excited to head out again. Headed out, had a fun night, had some interesting interactions where it was super warm and fun, then when I saw the girls a few minutes later they were extremely cold. Ended up talking to a local and her friend for about 5 minutes and headed back to their apartment.

  9. Monday September 17, 2017

    The days themselves are moving slowly, but the days keep zipping by.

    Today is the start of the business portion of the program which was a huge reason why this program was so appealing to me in the first palce. I’ve had dreams of working for myself and creating financial freedom in my life and it's been something that's been gnawing at me for the last couple years, but I've always felt it to be an under developed area of my life. So having a different seminar every day this week that are focused on building a business which is pretty inspiring.

    Outside of the seminar, there's been an increasingly larger focus on getting to know after the circle of truth, which is awesome. Were spending time going for 1on1 dinners, lunches and coffee dates with each other all the time. And it’s awesome since

    I’m really enjoying the time in Sweden. It reminds me of home, and it’s a place I could see my self living at some time in the future. But at the same time this trip to Europe has opened my eyes and I know there’s so much more out there that I want to experience so I want to keep travelling and sampling what’s out there.

    Tuesday September 18, 2017.

    Another inspiring day of business seminars. I left yesterday wanting to get back to the hotel and start working, but there’s so much going on that it isn’t possible. Right now I’m preheating the “idea oven “ for the first project I take on after Rockstar. That’s the best way to look at this part of the program. Preheat the oven, and focus on smashing out the rest of our time in Sweden.

    So when one of the instructors put out a message in the middle of the day about who wanted to go to a Swedish strip club. I replied, yes. I find strip clubs so fun, because the girls there usually can appreciate good banter, and play back at you with some good natured humour. It's a good time.

    We met up after seminar and cabbed to the strip club. We walked in and had to wait in line to pay the cashier. I was first, and instead of waiting for everyone else to pay I went in.

    What I walked into was way more depressing that I was hoping… There were two dancers sitting at the bar, and one girl going through the motions on the pole. They all looked at me like I was a piece of meat, so I walked over and said hi, and they lit up.

    We talked a bit, but the language barrier was a lot. In the middle of the conversation maybe the most beautiful girl I’ve seen since I’ve been on Rockstar walked out of one of the back rooms. Tall, skinny, blonde, pumped full of silicone. I was expecting more of this when I agreed to come out tonight, so i went over to talk to her before she could disapear into one of the back rooms.

    “You can’t just walk by and not say anything, that’s pretty rude.” I said.
    “I’m the manager...”

    Annnnd she walked away. Ok, whatever.

    We hung around the strip club for a while, to get our moneys worth but no matter how long we stayed that was a 75$ cover charge I’ll never get back.

    Some of the other guys were at a different bar so we went to meet up and them. The bar is typically pretty empty, but it's also around the corner from our hotel so we had nothing to lose.

    We walked up and saw that it was packed with mostly women. Which makes sense when one of the instructors told us it’s because there was a Chip and Dales show that night and this was the after party. Perfect.

    I saw a beautiful Swedish girl, and stopped her dead in her tracks. I stared into her blue eyes, and talked to her for a long time. We had a really good connection, and a really good bubble. It was almost like there was no one else around. But I had to break the bubble because i needed to pee like a mother fucker. And she had to find her mom...So I formulated a plan, she would go find her mom we’d meet back at the spot.

    I had a gut feeling this was a bad idea. And when I got back and she was leaving with a Chip and Dales dancer, I knew it was a bad idea.

    Slightly pissed off and determined to have a good night I went inside the bar and found some of the guys. I noticed a girl dancing a couple feet away from me and the guys. I looked away thinking about something to say before I went over to talk to her, and when I looked back, her and her friend were staring at me.

    I pointed at her, and motioned for her to come over and talk to me. She shook her head and motioned for me to go over there.

    She all of five feet away, so I did.

    “It’s pretty rude of you to stare at me and not come over and say hi..” I said

    “It’s pretty rude of YOU, not to come over and say hi.” She said

    “Is this our first fight?”


    “Oh I guess we’ll have to have make up sex later.” I said

    She nodded.

    From that point on it was logistics. My roommate was sleeping back in my room, and her house wasn’t an option. I raised my concerns to the guys who were still at the bar, and one of the alumni was nice enough to give me the key to his hotel room which is just across the street from our hotel. Perfect.

    We went there, had our fun, made sure the room was nicer than when we first got there, reminded each other of our names and then went our separate ways.

    Good night.

  10. #220

    Sept 15 - 16.

    Earlier in the week I meet a girl in the street who lived in Stockholm. The logistics were bad as her german friend had her last night in Stockholm before flying out. They werenít party girls so I didnít think it would be easy to split the two girls. Instead I played it cool and concentrated on the long game. I felt the connection was solid enough that I could get my girl to catch up with me alone later in the week. I sent some texts the next day that I wanted to try Swedish meatballs and I had heard of a high end restaurant called Ikea. I wanted her to take me but she had to wear high heels. Another Rockstar helped me with some light sexual humour late one night when she commented she was in bed Ė I got a good response so had a good feeling it was going to be a green light as long as I didnít stuff anything up.

    We went to dinner at a good restaurant and the meatballs were amazing. It was Friday night and I wasnít keen to miss going out with the group. I texted the guys and it was likely we couldnít get in later, if we wanted to get in the club we needed to go in all together on guest list. I felt my girl was probably ready to straight to hotel but I was doing what I wanted to do and leading her. We went to the club for 45 mins or so. It was early so it was pretty dead so we bounced back to the hotel. When I got outside the club I got the ďwhere are we goingĒ in a quizzical voice shit test. I told her Ė donít worry Iíve got this sorted. Later I found she was fine to go to the hotel but her voice tone was just shit testing me.

    We had a couple rounds of close relations before my roommate returns. Conversation is super normal and we make her feel comfortable. If the two boys think its normal, then the girl follows and falls inline to the normal frame. I escalate things sexually again in the dim room, she is turned on. I get out of bed to find a condom. Rockstar problems is when you only have 2 condoms in your wallet and you need to hunt for a 3rd cause you have none left. When I return the girl sees the condom and says ďno no noĒ. She isnít comfortable yet to have sex less than 2 feet away from my roommate. Again I sexualise physically and turn her on and she canít resist sex. In her mind she thinks if she is quiet it will be ok. She covers her mouth in an attempt to keep quiet Ė I make a point of pulling her hand away and telling her I want to hear her. Half way through she lets go of any inhibitions and is as noisy as ever. I get vocal too and after we climax - both me and my roommate make sure its totally normal and talk normally.

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