Project Rockstar 2017 Journals - Page 2

FirstFirst 12345612 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 263
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2017

    Vegas Diary #1

    I’m a 38-year-old project manager from Germany who’s pretty much never had any exposure to game whatsoever prior to Rockstar. I’ve recently read a few books, but never attended a seminar or boot camp, and didn’t even have an attraction forum account before being accepted into Rockstar. I hadn’t read any of the previous years’ blogs, so I came in with little expectations of how exactly things would be. Sometimes it’s hard to swallow that literally everyone else has been to boot camps before and seems to be so much farther down the road already, but I guess it’s an excellent opportunity to practice focusing on the just the right things (i.e. my own effort and the process) rather than making my life miserable by comparing myself to others.

    The fitness and diet program had been at the same time excruciating and easy. As I had never done anything like it before, it took quite some time for me before everything started falling into place, and I’ve literally spent entire 24h-days of my life trying to figure out a decent meal plan, what supplements to buy and when to eat them, the best food to cook for a day or two in advance when I had to go on business trips, and most importantly how to customize the fitness program in a way that would both push my body as far as possible and not fuck it up completely. Once I settled into a rhythm, eating became the easiest part – no matter whether I was on as little as 2,500 or as much as 4,100 calories a day, my body would find a way to make to. Interesting observation though that now that I am eating less clean than during those 12 weeks, my digestive system seems more stable for it…

    Fitness turned out to be more about mental than physical progress for me. Got a pair of rock-hard abs and some more definition to my entire body, but other than that I feel fairly untransformed when it comes to my body. I ran into major health issues while training and had to constantly keep modifying the program to what my body could withstand or pause altogether for days or weeks. That was extremely hard to take in the beginning as it seemed everyone else was making great progress but me. About 5 weeks into the fitness transformation something clicked in my head though and I started understanding that I was setting myself the wrong goals. What was the use of me trying to become a muscular hulk? It should way more be about hitting Vegas fit and lean, but most of all happy and energetic. Taking that mental shift and judging my progress against that goal lead to a quite notable rise in my happiness.

    The last days before Vegas were marked by notable anxiety, mixed with excitement. I was amped to finally get this big adventure started, but also all my fears about not being good enough popped up their heads again. So I came into Vegas with mixed feelings, and it’s been a rollercoaster ever since. We never seem to get enough sleep, there’s a constant backlog of things you want to do and every day it’s a tradeoff between finding time to go to the gym, blogging, bonding with the boys, getting back in touch with the friends at home, doing paperwork that needs to be done, finding time to reflect and set new goals, do some mental exercises… we seem to spend most of the day running from A to B or in full concentration at seminar or nighttime venues.

    It was great to finally have our first off night yesterday and have some time to get to know the guys better, as so far it seems most of the time there just seems to be time for a fist bump in the hall way or a short banter between two interactions at the club as we all are so busy and focused. About to sit together and decide on our road trip locations – that’s gonna be an exciting period…

    Classes have been fairly astonishing so far. As I said, I hadn’t read any of the prior year’s journals, so I came in with a completely blank slate. Classes are extremely deep and often touch very broad concepts of communication, framing and masculinity, so the focus is a lot more on deep personal development in a very wide sense, which I love. It’s sometimes frustrating though that all those fairly abstract concepts make so much sense and then I get the feeling that I am left to figure out how to put that into practice on my own, as the curriculum is for the bigger part devoid of any concrete things to say.

    Nights out have been up and down, too. The clubs are pretty awesome venues, but the music is often so much different from what they would play in European clubs that it takes some getting used to for me, as I have always gone clubbing almost exclusively for enjoying the music. And this whole concept of tables and bottle service and everything surrounding it… everyone else seems so comfortable with it, but for me it’s a whole different world that it takes time settling into and realizing that I got the same right as everyone else to be part of this and don’t have to be a millionaire or Hollywood star…

    Maybe the biggest takeaway from the nights out so far is stick to the process, judge yourself solely by your own effort and make yourself responsible for your own state. The night I said “screw it, I don’t give a fuck what others may think of me”, just got down to the floor and did a few push-ups poolside to pump myself up was the best one, as I not only management to up my own mood but also instantly connected with a few strangers who liked the vibe of energy and confidence I was exuding, and I ended up having a great conversation with a bride-to-be for almost an hour and motorboating a bunch of girls. The night where I didn’t manage to get myself into state but rather lost myself in my own thoughts and ended up judging myself for not performing as good as the other guys turned out to be pretty hard to swallow… but then again, even that night I pushed myself into more interactions – short as they may often have been – than I have in most years of my life. It’s been a rough ride up to here, but I’ll keep pushing.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2017

    Vegas Diary #2

    Vegas #2
    Tuesday, off-night with the boys. First time we really had a space to all get together and just socialize. Other than that, the schedule is very demanding, we are constantly running from A to B and always up against the next deadline. So I cherished the opportunity to get to know a few of the guys better over an awesome hamburger cheat meal… plus, it was my birthday, so the group surprised me with an awesome cake. Had a few great conversations and enjoyed the atmosphere.

    Yesterday, first night at Surrender. Love the place. The most communicative atmosphere we have seen so far. Even the dancefloor is poolside, and people went wild right from the start. As it was my birthday night out, I took the opportunity to peacock a bit and donned my favorite crazy neon-yellow suit and pink tie. That is the best thing I can do to get myself and keep myself in state, as it makes me smile just to look at myself, and it makes it easier for me to give myself the permission to go all crazy and have fun. Add to that the fact that almost everything seems to want to interact with the man in the suit, and I was in for my greatest night in Vegas so far.

    I used that state to be bolder, to walk up to a lot more girls and groups, do indirect approaches via the guys in mixed groups as well as direct approaches, got physical easily pulling girls in to hug or dance – one dance got so wild it ripped my pants open – and dared being more outright sexual verbally. It didn’t lead to much, but it gave me some good reference experiences on where boundaries are and that I am better at getting back in state after being aggressively pushed out of interactions than I thought I was if I just keep focusing on controlling my own state rather than let circumstances affect me.

    The night ended with a long pool-side chat with one of the instructors on how to handle conflict within our Rockstar group that ended up giving me a new insight into how the qualities I want to show to resolve this kind of conflicts might come in handy in other areas of my life and help me develop my masculine qualities.

  3. #13

    PR Journal 2

    You never leave an interaction. Well, unless she calls your mother a whore, then you can leave. But until then under no circumstances should you leave. Why? Unless she walks away, she is still interested in talking with you. Over the past week and a half, I have come to realize how many times I have cut interactions short because I believed that I could no longer connect with the girl I was talking to. It’s all in my head! Every interaction, especially with hotter girls, the voice in my head will tell me, “oh you just messed up, this is it, you’re wasting your time, she doesn’t want to talk with you, you haven’t been funny enough…” And it’s all bull shit. Some of the best conversations I’ve had were because I stuck around through the awkward pauses, through those moments of doubt. It’s amazing how the mind can try to talk you out of almost anything. It’s one of my favorite things now, to get into those situations where there is an awkward pause, because it’s a challenge. My head is telling me one thing, so I’m going to rage against it and try to prove it wrong.

    Women love sex. But there is a stigma against girls that are too easy. This girl I used to date describes it great, “every woman starts out with a pot of gold, every time she has sex with a new guy she loses a piece of that gold.” Which is to say when eventually she meets her husband, the more times she has had sex the less gold she has. I was brought up very religious, and I felt the same way in the past. I personally had no problem with girls having sex, as long as it wasn’t one I was dating. Then I wanted a girl with the lowest count possible. It’s the cultural double standard. Guys want to bang as many girls as possible, but girls should not. I hooked up with a girl, she had never had a one night stand before. After we hooked up she told me that this was exactly what she needed. Even then she still said she’d never do that again. That’s when it hit me, sex is something very healthy and necessary for people to move through their life. Until I had this experience it never really hit home that there is a judgment, not from just the outside but also from the inside on having sex with people, and it holds both men and women back from living a life that they truly want. If I can take one thing away from this experience, it’s that I need to be authentic and nonjudgmental. By leading the way I open up the door for other people to be who they really want to be.

  4. #14

    Thursday August 3rd.

    Holy shit I’m so grateful we have a night off tonight.

    Today in seminar I got my first bit of feed back from the night before, and with that my ego chopped down to appropriate size.

    Standing on the patio of the cosmo one of the instructors came outside

    “Did you take a girl home last night?”

    I nodded and smiled. Ready to be congratulated.

    “Why the hell were you leading her out of the club like a little bitch?” (Ok he wasn’t that harsh, but that’s what I heard.)

    We had just spent the previous day learning about leading a girl out of the club confidently. And while she still came home and had sex with me I still could have led her more confidently.

    Now, in the moment this was hard for my ego to hear.

    I took home two girls the night before, and slept with one of them. My ego wanted to see that as a success but at the same time I could have slept with both if I changed a couple things…

    These are good problems to have. and I’m grateful I was able to take so many lessons out of the course.

    As for the seminar, we are continuing to dive deeper into Inner Game, and there were so many stories going on inside my own head that if we had gone out tonight I don’t know what I would have done.

    The group of us went out for dinner after the seminar, which was awesome for bonding and unwinding. These are long intense days.

    I had considered not going out to that dinner, because I wanted to unpack the stories I had been telling myself my whole life. But at the same time I wanted to be involved in the group.

    I made the right choice and went to dinner, because I found out we were all having similar thoughts.

    Friday August 4th – XS

    More inner game today. It’s fucking deep.

    To look at the stories we are all telling each other and how they have crafted our lives should be a required practice, but not everyone does it. And most don’t have a clue they exist.

    It’s getting harder to unpack all this mental stuff, and shut it off when we are going out at night. But I feel like I’m getting better at dealing with it.

    My outter and inner game is getting better with everyday on this program.

    The night out itself was what I would call unsuccessful until around 2 AM.

    A Rockstar and myself started talking to two girls, who were just walking by.

    “Where are you going?”

    “We’re not sure.” The girls said.

    I held her by the hand and led her out of the club and into the hotel lobby.

    “let’s go to the mansion and have an after party.”

    We hesitated for a split second, that’s all it took before these girls were gone.

    It’s all good. It’s still decently early, let’s go back inside.

    But as we said that, two tall skinny girls walk by. We stop them and start up again. They were leaving XS, and not sure where they wanted to go next.

    “We’re having an after party at the mansion.” I said, and held her hand and led her out of the club and into the taxi line. Frome there, everything went according to plan until we got to the mansion.

    They saw the pool table and gravitated towards that like bugs to a light. And for some reason I didn’t stop them. Once we started playing pool, all the tension died. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion.

    Over the next 30-40 minutes I tried everything I could to ratchet the tension back up, but it didn’t seem to work. And they left.

    While I implemented one of the lessons from Wednesday (leading a girl out of the club confidently), I still was kicking myself this morning because I know there was an opportunity there. And I felt like I made the same mistake two nights in a row, by not ratcheting up the tension.

    Lesson learned.
    The beauty of Rockstar is that I get another chance to work on it tonight when we go out.

    Saturday August 5, 2017- XS

    The last three days have been all about Inner Game. And there’s three words that keep entering my head.

    EGO. Stories. Rackets.

    These three words make it much much harder for me to close my laptop when seminar ends and shut everything off and go out and talk to people. But it’s a catch 22, because it’s necessary to unwind and de stress.

    We’ve each taken a hard look at ourselves in the mirror the last couple of days and we are seeing how the stories we have told ourselves had impacted our lives.

    But we’re also seeing how they have impacted us positively and how we have used them to our advantage.

    Powerful stuff.

    This type of stuff goes far beyond approaching a woman. But it’s also the type of stuff that directly affects why and how you do/don’t approach a woman.

    It’s heavy shit.

    After four days of it I’m starting to see how it’s impacted my life both negatively and positively. I think that by cleaning this stuff out I am going to see improvements that are necessary.

    There is a LONG way to go, but I know that as my inner game closet gets cleaner over the next couple of weeks, that’s where I’m going to see the major leaps in improvement. Not just with women, but in my LIFE.


  5. #15

    Days 7-9

    All the days are starting to blend into one. We went to a pool party, without knowing it was a pool party (so some of the guys were in suits, which was kind of funny, they still killed it though). I really worked hard tonight on slowing down and fixing my bad body language habits, but I also found without pumping myself up and being the fun banterous guy, I easily slip into not being nearly as fun and having as much to talk about. This night was also interesting, because the girls had been hit on all night by all sorts of weird people. So I quickly got really good at adjusting to that and not coming on as strong, being a chill guy and making people laugh. It was cool to see this go down well with one of the hottest girls there that night, towards the end, they were leaving and pretty guarded, but just being chill and noticing what was up, I slowly started to see cracks and she opened up and was a cool person too.

    The next night out was interesting. Where I’d normally approach a lot and bounce around between talking to a lot of different groups of people, tonight was different. I worked on the same things again, and was in a similar space of losing a lot of banter I normally have. I had two fun conversations warming up, and then the rest of the night was between two interactions. The first was difficult, but I learned to run the interaction and worked on just having fun. The second was great with a gorgeous blonde and her friend. I was hanging with one of the instructors, and I really saw how he would run the whole experience for the girls; he’d be hanging with one, come back to all four of us and have some fun, then back to one on one. Any problem that came up, he handled it. They wanted to dance? He took them dancing. It was about being the guy leading the interaction and taking charge of their experience. We headed back to his hotel for a bit of an after party, where the blonde and I got a bit naked on the balcony and hooked up a bit inside. The view was incredible. We had a great connection but didn’t end up having sex. The connection was strong, but I don’t think I had showed her enough of my views on non-judgement to have sex that night.

    My thoughts have been turning somewhat to what I’m going to do after the program. I know it’s still early days, but before I left home to come here, for months I was already mentally checked out of that life I was living. I was so undecided and on the fence to whether I quit my job, go part time, but about two weeks before the program I’d made up my mind it was basically a necessity that I had to quit for my own happiness. Being here has made that decision so much easier too, seeing what’s possible when you’re not restrained by named days and the 9-5.

  6. #16

    Day 10 – 11

    The past few days we have been talking a lot about inner game. This is the powerful stuff, and most of why I came on this program from a personal development perspective. There are so many successful people here as fellow Rockstars, but are still unfulfilled and unhappy with their lives. Some of them have made millions upon millions of dollars, and will be the first to tell you nothing changes apart from the first two weeks or so of elation post a big sale. So this inner game stuff has been pretty impactful for everyone. We began by digging into the stories we have told ourselves since we were kids, and saw how those stories have unconsciously driven our lives since then. In many cases we see these stories as negatives: I’m worthless, I’m not attractive, I can’t be myself etc, but in many ways they have driven us to become who we are today. One of the wealthy guys was so driven by being bullied as a kid that he’s now ‘rich as fuck’ as the instructors made him finally realise and shout. It was a cool moment, seeing the realisation of how the pain had driven his life, but also how he can now wash away that story and still be the same guy, just without the pain and negative self worth.

    A cool concept is that humans live in three states; the past, the present, and the future. Gaining resolution on the fact that the future doesn’t exist, as it’s simply a projection from our minds and we make it up, is exactly like that past in that it doesn’t exist, our mind is making it up based on events that happened, and our mind prescribes stories and meaning to events.

    In the following days we talked about some powerful stuff on changing our inner dialogue, and the actual techniques to practice mental fitness. The idea is to gear your brain into feeling great all the time, and it isn’t like a manual you can read and then know it; it’s more like going to the gym. In the first day, you’re not going to life the heaviest weights for a lot of reps, but with practice you’ll get there. A big part of this is realising any event in life is inherently meaningless. Pondering that is a pretty scary yet powerful thought. If any event, no matter what it is, is meaningless, then we have the power in our minds to prescribe whatever meaning we want to it. Is losing your job a bad thing? Is winning a million dollars a good thing? One of the best answers I heard was ‘we’ll see’, and it made me think about the Steve Jobs quote about only being able to connect the dots in retrospect. So, if this is the case, we can therefore work (key word, work) on changing our dialogue to frame events with empowering stories. We also talked about changing your mental state, through focus, physiology, an the language we use (coupled with gratitude and the things we can control). Amazing stuff.

    I had one of my best nights out on day 10. The past two nights of slow progress and practicing nailing my body language paid off in spades. I was able to be the cool calm solid guy, but also brought a lot of fun and gave a lot of good emotions. It felt like the lessons of the past 10 days had all come together for the night; I was having good conversations, spiking sexualisation, having a lot of fun, getting to know people on a deeper level, being genuine, being authentic, and overall giving people around me the experience they were after that night. Some women wanted to go deep and warm, and some wanted the fun/banter/passionate. At one point early in the night I met a cute girl and after about 10-15 minutes she really wanted more, so we headed for the casino bathroom. It was a big lesson in leading. I was slipping the bouncer some cash to use the staff bathroom when his boss walked over so we bailed, and slipped into an unused cabana. A few minutes of passion later the bouncer and his boss busted in and told us to leave. A bit of fun all round.

    I had a lot of other good interactions that night and learned a lot about just being myself, being forward and comfortable in my own skin. Later in the night, I was inside the club and started talking to two cute Asian girls. We quickly were onto the topic of having a threesome, but being her birthday she wanted to try something new. So I called one of the coaches over who I know loves Asian girls, and a few minutes later we were leaving. We headed back to their hotel room and gave them a great group experience. By being completely comfortable being the guys these girls were looking for, having absolutely no judgement and complete confidence in stepping up, they felt completely open to explore their fantasy’s. This kind of stuff has been a big mental shift for me over the last few days. The next night out was great too, continuing to work on bringing it all together. More banter please!

    We thankfully have a day off, so I’m using it to sleep and catch up on errands and personal admin before Bungalow Monday tonight!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2017

    Vegas Diary #4

    Thursday, off-night number 2… relaxed cheat-meal dinner with the boys. If all off-nights turn out to be cheat meals it’s gonna be hard to keep in shape, given the fact that I just can’t find the time to hit the gym as often as I’d like… just too many things to do and think about. Off nights are great for bonding, though. Group cohesion has markedly increased over the last few days, which really has upped the energy level and helps everyone get in state before going out.

    Seminar has also helped. The last 2 days were devoted to inner game, straying far from any traditional “game” aspects and foraying deep into the stories we have made up around fairly insignificant events in our past to give meaning to our lives – often very negative meaning that keeps us from achieving true fulfilment, fully becoming our authentic selves and connecting with the people around us. That changed the atmosphere a lot for the better, as whenever friction comes up we now all have the tendency to look inward first and double-check if we’re not making up a story and passing judgement instead of taking the mere facts for what they are.

    Friday night, XS again. Had a table again poolside, but barely used it as at some point around midnight it started raining. So most people tried to flee inside and some literally spent hours queuing in the rain to get inside… I loved it, as it made it all the way easier to start a conversation with the people that had stayed outside. And as usual when I’ve had a rough seminar day, the night turned out to be one of being in a pretty great state almost constantly. Didn’t really set myself any goals other than just going out there, approaching, having fun and catching myself whenever I was about to lose myself in thoughts. And putting on some of my more lavish clothes always helps me feel good about myself, too – no matter what our fashion coach thinks about it 😊 Didn’t get many longer conversations going early on, but ended up hitting it pretty well with half a bachelorette party and being hit on and complimented by almost half a dozen of them. Looking back I see now that I busted my chances of the night even better by going all in too early before I had created enough comfort, but had a few “first ones” experiences for this trip. I feel like I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but somehow it starts to become a little bit more natural… trust the process, as they keep repeating…
    Saturday night, XS again. It’s kinda hard to even keep track of which night is which, because XS has become so much of my living room already that all the bathroom stuff fist-bumps me every time I get in there… The night was kinda epic in more than 1 respect. Switched instructors and received pretty clear instructions: “Hands down, relaxed posture, easy conversation.” That kinda took the pressure down. So after a few conversations to get going, I saw one of my friends talking to 4 Asian girls and went in there to support him. The group was pretty rambunctious at first, with the girls running around to find the rest of the larger group, but I focused on talking to the same girl the whole time and after some running around and chatting realized that we had been isolated for easily 15 minutes already. Took her over to some couches and had a great conversation with her for hours. She put up quite a few obstacles (like “us 4 girls took a vow to end up in our hotel room together tonight”), so I just followed instructions and focused on remaining calm with a few subcoms in between and sharing my stories and values with her. She was pretty resistant physically, but eventually I led the way out the club for a drink. I realized I had no clue about logistics, but took it as a great learning opportunity (“Oh, that bar is closed? Well, let’s go to the other one closer to your hotel”). That game continued for a while and eventually she invited me to her room but refused to get physical. Very little time ago a girl telling me “We had a great night and I trust you but I won’t sleep with you” would have completely iced me. This time my reply “So what, I’m still gonna kiss you” broke the tension. Unfortunately, 2 minutes later her phone rang and her friends called to say they were coming home early, but my remaining calm lead her to tell them she wasn’t at the hotel yet and rush me to the fire escape. She was torn between her desire and her anxieties, but my newfound calm and gentle insistence led her to having a new experience she hadn’t had before, and it all ended in a heap of tension-releasing laughter. The fact that since she keeps messaging me tells me that the instructors are indeed right that girls actually want us to make experiences happen for them. Another big learning of that night for me was that I don’t have to put on a show and clown around or be overtly sexual all the time to be attractive, but can just show my personality and be attractive that way.

    The moment I exited her hotel I look at my phone and read that a few of the boys were having a party at another hotel close by and one of them wanted to tag out and was asking for a sub… so I jumped into the next cab and started the second half of the night… another great experience and a few new Eskimo brothers. The biggest take-away from that second half of the night was that girls really do enjoy sex even more than boys and that group sex does not need to have anything to do with abusing girls or taking advantage of them, but can instead be a great gift to them, as proven by the many thank you messages we received afterwards. Awesome night with tons of learnings on both ends of the spectrum.

  8. #18

    Thursday Aug 3rd Entry:

    Yesterday’s seminar was about same night lays. (SNL) We learned how to create a “Judgement Free Zone” to convey our progressive views about sex. This is to ensure that she won’t feel judged or made to feel like a slut. We talked about how to create a “bubble” to pull her into your world. We learned how to paint a picture for her of what sex with you would be like. If she feels that she won’t be judged, and that the sex will be good with you, she is very likely to have sex with you. We also learned how to successfully navigate logistics. All of these things came in handy quite early in the evening last night.

    Night out Wednesday Surrender (Encore) Night Swim (Instructor Justin C.)

    I didn’t get the memo that it was a night swim. I was super-over-dressed in a black button down, black pants and a white jacket. I didn’t give a fuck. I looked great and was determined to have fun no matter what, and I did. About an hour into the night, I find myself locked in with this sexy voluptuous blonde from Croatia. I was getting turned on about 30 seconds into our interaction. I grabbed a handful of her hair at the top of her neck. I pulled her in close and said, “You’re so fucking sexy! Feel how much you are turning me on right now!” I looked her deep in the eyes and put her hand on my throbbing cock. She made cooing and purring noises as she rubbed and squeezed it through my pants.

    About 2 minutes later, the sexual tension was so high that I just grabbed her hand and started walking for the exit without saying a word. We made it nearly to the door before she asked where we were going. I said, “somewhere quiet where we can be alone”. She said, “ok” as we breezed through the exit. I wish the story had a better ending, but I blew it. Somehow, I let the sexual tension die down as I was trying to work through the logistics of getting her to come home with me. Instead of continuing to boldly lead her as I had done coming out of the club, I got a bit distracted in my mind. Take a cab? Take the car? Go to her place? Go to my place?) I got a bit turned around in the casino, and then the moment had passed. Bummer.

    Even though I wasn’t able to “close the deal”, I find myself wondering what the me of 2 years ago would think of that interaction if I were witness to it. I don’t even know if I would have believed that was possible to lead a girl out of a club within 5 minutes of meeting her. I wonder what some of the people around us were thinking. To the uninitiated, this might seem crazy. It’s beginning to feel quite normal. I can’t wait to fully realize all the possibilities. I want to go all the way down the rabbit hole.

    Friday Aug 4th Entry:

    Yesterday in seminar we had debrief. I mentioned the above interaction. We talked about what went well, what went not so well, what could be done differently next time.

    We began working on “Inner Game”. We discussed the concept of “Rackets” or the stories we have created about ourselves that define us, and impact our lives in potentially-limiting and negative ways. Here is a racket: 1. What Happened? 2. What is the story we have been telling ourselves about it? 3. What has that story cost us? 4. What could we create in our lives if we were to unravel the story?

    Last night was a night off. We all went to a casual, relaxing dinner. We got to know each other a bit more, and discussed travel plans for our break coming up in 3 weeks.

  9. #19

    Saturday Aug 5

    Yesterday in seminar, we continued inner game. We shared some of the stories we have created for ourselves and began to unravel them. More to come later about that.

    Night out Friday Aug 4 Encore XS:

    What a night. Jumped into a few interactions early right from the start. I felt my energy to be a bit flat, but I was having fun and wasn’t too worried about it. A Rockstar alum was talking to two girls from Seattle standing near the table. I said hello and began talking to one of them. (We’ll call her Ivanna) About 2 minutes in, I asked how many girls in their group have gotten laid since they’ve been in Vegas. She said, “Three that I know of”. It started to rain, and the four of us moved inside.

    I oscillated a bit between normal and fun & flirty, but it was quite slow going. Somehow, she mentioned the subject of monogamy. I told her that I didn’t believe in it. She told me the same. Now I had something to dig into. I told her of a relationship I had where sometimes we would bring other people into our bedroom, sometimes another woman, but more often, another man. I told her how much I loved seeing my girlfriend crazy with the ecstasy that a woman gets when she is being wildly fucked by two guys.
    She said, “Wow, I’ve never met a man so secure in his masculinity. You must have a huge cock.” “Play your cards right, and you might just get to find out”, I replied.
    Now things were getting a bit more interesting. I asked her if she had ever had a 3 way. She said yes, but only with another girl. None of her previous boyfriends would ever agree to give her the experience of being with two men. “Insecure boys, rather than real men”, I told her. She agreed wholeheartedly. I mentioned to her that my buddy and I were actually able to give that experience to a girl I was seeing in Taipei a few months ago. I could see the wheels turning in her mind as she said, “Really.”

    There was quite a playful vibe between the two girls. I asked Ivanna, “Have the two of you ever hooked up with each other?” “No, not yet.”, she replied. I like this girl. She’s spunky, this one.

    We move to the dance floor, and the girls see the rest of their friends. Rough seas ahead. She introduces us to them and we all chat a bit. It starts to rain again, so I mention to Ivanna about going back to the Cosmopolitan to hang for awhile. She asks if she can bring her friends. I tell her, “How about just the four of us”. She hesitates. “Ok, why don’t we make it just the three of us.”, I told her. “I’d be down for that”, she said. Now, on to logistics.

    Her 6 friends standing behind us were quite sure that this was just a scam to get her into some kind of human trafficking scheme. She knew better. She flat out told them, “I wanna go fuck these two guys. This has been my fantasy for a long time. Please do not fuck this up for me!” It took about 5 minutes for her to convince them that it was safe. As soon as it was sorted out, I grabbed her hand, he grabbed the other and off we went. As we walked out of the club, she held our hands up for a moment, saying to all, “Yes, I’m leaving to go fuck both of these guys” Such a good girl.

    We hopped into a cab, and sat her between us for the ride. The three of us hold hands from the cab through the lobby. Two girls stared at her as we are waiting for the elevator. “Just ask if you are so curious”, she challenges them. I love her bold spirit.

    It was a fantastic experience for all three of us. I’m sure none of us will ever forget it. I’m sure that we have spoiled her for the “boys” she used to date. Her life will never be the same. I feel very grateful and humble that I was able to give that to her. With great power comes great responsibility. I feel that I am responsible to give as many amazing experiences to people as I possible can. I shall do my very best.

    Sunday Aug 6th:

    Night out Saturday XS (Chain Smokers) No Table (Instructor Jasper)

    My energy was low. I am struggling lately to find things to say to keep the conversation going.

    I saw this cutie checking me out, and I went over to approach. She spoke very little english, and I speak very little spanish. I said a few phrases, smiled and looked into her eyes a lot.

    An alumni and I took these two Mexican girls back to his place. It was a lot of work to get them to leave the club.

    Once we got back to his place, it took a lot of work on the balcony to help her through her resistance. But I was able to finally break through. She was a very happy girl.

    Monday Aug 7th:

    Yesterday in seminar, we continued working on inner game. This goes way deeper for me than I realized. My mind is a muscle that I neglected for many years. I am beginning to do some heavier lifting in that department. For a few months now, I write for a few minutes most every morning about the things that I am grateful for.

    Night Out Sunday Aug 6th. XS Night Swim No Table. (Instructor Jasper)

    The night got off to a very rocky start. I had a situation early in the night where one of the alumni blatantly “snaked” a girl from me while I was talking to her. I was fuming afterwards. I spoke to several of the instructors about it. Apparently, this person has quite a reputation for doing these types of things. I was assured that the situation would be handled. I was so pissed off about it. I was on the verge of having my entire night ruined by it if I had allowed it. Instead, I drank a bunch of water and went into a bathroom stall to take a piss and do some deep breathing exercises. I was able to do a re-set and get my state back pretty quickly. Had some pretty good interactions for awhile. Then, the place seemed to be completely overrun by these RSD guys. They have a very creepy vibe about them. The energy felt very strange in the club last night. Jasper and I circled back to these two Mexican girls we met earlier. It didn’t take long before we pulled them from the club and took them back to his room at the Cosmopolitan. The girl I was with actually ended up getting pretty sick after sex so we tended to her and let her rest a while before getting a taxi for them and calling it a night.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2017

    Vegas Diary #4

    Jeez, time seems to run so fast it’s hard to keep track of everything that’s happening… Storytime was fucking epic yesterday. Awesome to see how guys start to come to terms with their new me and move from places of pain to a path of accelerated growth, and how natural sexuality suddenly becomes. Nothing to be ashamed of or take to serious, but something to talk about openly, be honest about and plain enjoy and share in a fun way.

    Had a great exercise about body language yesterday in class. Fucking mind-blowing how much your mental state changes if you just change your posture… and energy is contagious. If you allow yourself to jump and wiggle and scream and shout, others will fall into place, as the body loosens up so will the mind and the energy becomes contagious. Nothing you haven’t ever heard before, but delivered in a very condensed way.

    Hard a bit of a rougher night yesterday. 2.5h of sleep the night before just is too little to have your banter clicking on all cylinders… but it was awesome to see how well I managed to not kick myself too much for not approaching more often and how well I found a balance between pushing myself into interactions and enjoying the music to steady and improve my state. And despite me joining the pedestrian club at times I realized at the end of the night that a few of the girls I had talked to had actually been pretty damn attractive. Unfortunately, the one I left the club with turned out to be a bit too tipsy and started slipping into some state of panic, so damn good I was completely sober and finally could talk some sense into her, call her friend on her phone and find out where to safely bring her. Not the end of the night I had been looking for, but another great experience to build confidence that I can remain authentic and master any situation that comes up. And once she regained her cool, she thanked me for having been such a gentleman.

    Monday night, back to Marquee. Too bad they had the outdoor area closed again, but good for learning, as I feel a lot less comfortable approaching in overcrowded loud spaces than poolside. Extra challenge of the night was to approach girls without asking a single question in the first 2 minutes. That challenge completely shut down my brain for about 5 minutes and I was literally unable to find a single word to say, and it definitely upped my approach anxiety by more than just 1 level. But then I told myself that just because I hated this challenge so much meant that it was a great learning opportunity for myself. And with that mindset ended up having quite a lot of fun in conversations. And it altered my perception of what I can do and how I can get girls sexually attracted to me, as in one of the earlier conversation I just blabbered random nonsense to one girl and less than 5 minutes later had one of her friends on the brink of coming with me to the bungalow… It was really hard to overcome my approach anxiety every single time, but most of the interactions went a hell of a lot better than I had expected them to go, given the fact that I was essentially throwing random bullshit at them. And I once again realized how important a wingman is to me, as the biggest hurdle for me still is the very opening sentence. Anyway, blabbering bullshit about fashion to a girl at the bar after my friend approached them opened up a nice conversation, and when I wanted to move her to a quieter area of the club her friends (m+f) wanted to come along, so I took all of them along and just made sure everyone had a fun time, talked in private with the guy to make sure I wasn’t interfering with something, had to pull a few tricks to isolate the girl and had a rather smooth sailing from there on… and chatting with her on the balcony of her suite afterwards I found out that she had many interesting things to say, and tonight I am invited to her bosses birthday party… I still don’t have much of an idea what the hell I am doing, but my results are certainly up, as is my trust in the process. And I seem to be finding a better balance between arousing girls and having deep conversations with them every day. I think with every bit that I am opening up to myself I am opening up to others and especially girls as well… Looking forward to the next part of the journey!

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 60
    Last Post: 07-14-2017, 12:10 AM
  2. Project Rockstar 2016 Journals
    By Sterling in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 109
    Last Post: 10-31-2016, 10:48 AM
  3. Project Rockstar 2015 Journals
    By Vici in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 11-23-2015, 01:06 AM
  4. Project Rockstar 2013 Journals
    By Brian J in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 198
    Last Post: 05-12-2015, 10:47 AM
  5. Project Rockstar 2011 - Collective Journals
    By Sterling in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 130
    Last Post: 09-05-2011, 01:10 AM


Posting Permissions

Facebook  Twitter