Project Rockstar 2017 Journals - Page 19

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  1. #181

    Blog 16
    Day 43 September 7, 2017
    Another day of just sleeping in and recovering
    From the both vegas and Mykonos. Today I feel
    I finally that my original voice is coming back.
    All this time i felt like I was pushing my voice and didn't really sound the way I'd normally do.
    Today was all about spending time with the guys and really bonding with them. We watched the sunset together and later had pizza and sushi. The perfect bros night night. Even the full moon was so mesmerizing.

    Day 44 September 8, 2017
    Today was all about day game for me and most of the guys. Even though I was very hesitant to do so
    At first, eventually I warmed up and started it. I found either because I haven't done this in a while I've been very rusty, or maybe girls here are quite cold to open up quickly. Even at night we were having similar problems. At this point I just didn't care. Some of the guys did come up to me to express their concerns of me not pushing as much, but I need a few more days. I am slowly feeling the urge to get back on the horse and just gallop and I know it will happen. It's the last leg coming up in a few days and I feel I'm mentally well rested too to take this bull by the horns.

  2. #182

    Blog 17
    Day 44 September 9, 2017
    I'm feeling today I'm coming back to normal and I'm so glad I listened to my mind and my body. Rest for both seemed to be very crucial for me. I'm feel happy and content from the inside, while I feel like i should also go for a jog. That's amazing as I haven't felt this was since Vegas. I did all my preparations for going out, pre games with the boys and we all walked into the club together. As I had mentioned earlier about how we are bonding, tonight was the night when all the pieces fell in their rightful place. We pretty much took over the dance floor and just the act of dancing by ourselves, our positive high energy attracted so many hot girls to us. There was a point where we were pushing some away when it was time to take the group pictures.

    Day 45 September 10, 2017
    I was fearing that today I would have low energy, especially after such an awesome night. Half way through the day I realized it was just the story I had created in my head and in fact i had an awesome day. All day I was listening to music and just dancing by myself, we out to town to run some errands, talked to some really cute girls on the way. It was our last night here and we all had dinner together and went out to one of the ruin bars for one last time. We had a great time with each other, and I called it an early night to go home and pack and prepare for the magical land of Sweden.

  3. #183

    Entry #19:

    Sep 12th

    First two days in Stockholm were very calm. I think that the prior 6 weeks have really caught up to me. I felt an unstoppable force within me for the last 6 weeks,staying up for 48 hours in the row, but the first night of Stockholm aside from a shot with random 19 yearolds at a bar I felt completely wiped. We stayed in a crappy hostel, and it may be the deepest sleep that I had since starting PR.

    Second night: Still feeling kind of hung-over/tired and lots of doubts creeping through my head. Quiet night in Stockholm and I'm not drinking again. We visited a marginally happening local bar called Soapbar. Made 1-2approches to very cold Swedish nurses and even though they turned only lukewarm, just talking to girls and getting back to basics helped.

    Also talked to an a couple of American-Swedish girls and just went hard banter. She finally called me mean and I may have cracked a little after assuring her that I can be a hell of a lot meaner. But it was a good run on banter and warming up for hardcore Swedish fun.

  4. #184

    Entry # 20

    Road trip reflection:

    Its been a very long two weeks. 8 hours in Cologne Germany, a week in Mykonos and a week in Budapest. Saturated with events and excitement, growth and a healthy dose of frustration. I was told that I would have to work extra hard this trip. I was in the bottom third of the class and I certainly agree. I sustained that mindset and really pounded the pavement. I certainly feel like I have grown. I feel like my game has improved and my fellow rock-stars are telling me the same.

    Furthermore, these two weeks have given a real boost to our class. Primarily from all the good times and bonding experiences that we had, but also from conflicts that we were able to recognize and overcome. Everyone is fully committed to preserving group cohesion. Whenever someone felt that a rift was forming, they would call a family meeting where things would would be discussed in the most objective and non-judgmental environment that I have experienced.

    I have been calibrating my first 5-20 minutes and the results are improving. I'm relying more on eye contact and proximity and my own presence and keeping touch down to a minimum, allowing it to arise naturally but limit it to periphery when it does arise. I finally can recognize when a bubble has formed and escalate from there. I'm still very dependent on my crew for banter and overall approach habit, though I;m developing a somewhat independent impetus as well

    I have finally seen the importance of going deep and the effect that it can have on the interaction. I was really impressed how being genuine about my deep self (something that I would usually reserve for date 3-5) can bring two people closer together and make things so much more intimate. It is becoming an integral part of my masculinity.

    While I have a general understanding on where I am in the interaction, I'm definitely missing important subtleties in myself and in the girl. I really could benefit a lot from situational awareness and a ton of feedback from guys who understand game. Some people learn well by doing. I'm definitely more dependent on guidance, textbooks and homework. Looking forward to Sweden and what instructors have to say about me. Not having a clear gauge of where I am and how I'm progressing is one of my biggest frustrations. The fact that I have not had intercourse on this trip is another and it's eating away at my confidence. Yes there were sexual encounters. Yes I feel more comfortable approaching and escalating. However, I'm still comparing myself with other guys and that brings me down.

    I have to work daily on my inner game. It is so immensely important and I'm highly dependent on it when I'm out. I've had several interactions where I felt my inner masculinity and that alone provided outcome independence and a BF-GF frame that I projected on the two if us. Solid inner game is still very elusive unfortunately. I get glimpses of with conditioning exercises and after a sustained and fun nights out, but 95% of the time doubts remain. A pervasive thought remains: I am way behind other guys, even though I am much more ahead of me 6 weeks ago. However, I've gotten better at game and slipped back before. Can I reach that threshold where I'm actually happy with my results.... That's the thing:I;m not happy with my results.... But can I get there, where all this stuff will stick and become self sustaining. That's a fucking terrible state of mind however. These are not the questions that I should be asking myself. The questions should be: How am I gonna keep this new state of mind to become better and sustain this mind blowing new life that I was so fortunate to have discovered. I have the best life situation out of anyone to do this. I have the $ and I have the job and I have the flexibility. All have to do is decide. And I have already resolved that going back is unacceptable. So there. I may not get much farther in Sweden or I may. Doesn't matter. I will continue this quest because the benefits are just too great to lose. I've been given all the resources. I have an amazing network of people all over the world. I will make this work, regardless of the pace and the number of lays,

  5. #185

    Sept 2.
    Mykonos leg is done and dusted. If we measure ourselves by the outcome, then the trip isnít successful however as I mentioned multiple times in my journals, its all about the process. Iím hard on myself and I know I could have pushed myself harder. Some of the guys are approach machines and its great to see them in action. I take inspiration from seeing the work ethic and this encourages me to increase my workload. Largely my performance in Mykonos was based around my energy levels, low energy levels due to lack of sleep made for poor interactions. Once I adjusted my sleep my performance increased significantly. For the first few days my interactions with girls would rarely go anywhere. I knew something was off but I couldnít put my exact finger on it. My fitbit app provided some of the answers Ė I was getting no more than 90 mins sleep most nights. Budapest I made sure I got at least 6 to 8 hours solid sleep each night.

    Iíve never been to Budapest so I was excited to find out what made the place special. Over the next few days we did some interesting touristy adventures, including an awesome dinner boat ride on the danube river. Fortunately for me Budapest wasnít as much as a party city as Mykonos. I was able to spend some quality down time during the day resting from the crazy Mykonos schedule. My journals were able to at least partially catch up.

    I find Budapest both easy and challenging at the same time. On the surface there isnít the same abundance of super beautiful women as say vegas. Approach girls that are a little less attractive as its generally less daunting, however its more challenging in a way as unless Iím super attracted to a girl, its harder for me to give 100% to the interaction. As Iíve mentioned previously girls have an acute sense of how an interaction is going, and I think they sense if your not giving it your all.

  6. #186

    Entry # 21:

    August 26th:

    As the Vegas leg winds down, my inner state is hard to pin point. It swings between elation of how much I have achieved, how much fun I had and back to doubts about my progress and comparison with the other guys on PR. What I also feel is a sustained desire to develop and grow. I have been liberated here but I must protect and enhance my liberty. Great things await on the other side of the Atlantic and I am living in the peace time of my mind.

  7. #187

    Sept 5.
    The first few days in Budapest I’m unwell and suffering from minor sickness. I think its just a cold or flu and my energy is at 80% of my usual levels. My raw work ethic with approaches is lower, and my filter on finding reasons not to approach is at a program all time high. I’m not super concerned as my efforts are getting back to 100% health as soon as possible. I definitely don’t want to be sick in Sweden when the more formal part of the program continues.

    Budapest partying is dominated by the tourist trade, especially on the weeknights. There is places called ruin bars which are run down old buildings that are converted to bars. They are super interesting and have a maze of different rooms and areas to explore. English tourists are the most prevalent but there is also a mix of girls from all around the world.

    Many of us guys find Budapest a great place to do street game. This is basically approaches girls in the street. Most times getting their number or going on a mini instant date is a common result. Like nightclubs, getting blown out or totally ignored is common too. In Budapest girls can pretend they don’t speak English and after they tell you this they walk off. I give up pretty easily but watching some of the guys push through this early resistance, and its interesting to learn some of the girls actually do speak English fine. Persiverance is key and if you pass this shit test, it can be easier to get into the bubble. Another common excuse that comes from the girls is “I’m just catching up with my friend and we haven’t chatted in ages – sorry I cant talk longer with you”. I got this line a few times and so did some of the other rockstars. I guess it’s a polite way of saying I’m not interested.

  8. #188

    Sept 7
    One of the days we went to the baths. I think it’s a local tradition and tourist hotspot. The baths are feed by warm water from the springs. The mineral content is quiet high and its very therapeutic. It’s a good place to see girls in their swim suit and do some approaches. Budapest is small enough that its not uncommon for us to approach girls that have previously been approached by others in our group. When I’m in the main pool I look for the hottest girls I could find and approach them. Turns out 3 of our crew had meet them at breakfast earlier in the day. I decide not to escalate the conversation sexually just in case one of the rockstars was into the girls. This is one thing I’m overly cautious of, girls come and go but these brothers will be part of my life forever. Its not worth losing a brother over a silly girl.

    I start chatting to another girl in the locker room. It’s an awkward environment as others can hear our conversation. Turns out the girl is from Russia and I grab her whats app details. We chat later that night via text and she says its unlikely we will have time to catch up before she leaves. I start going a bit deeper about the personal development journey and suddenly the conversation changes and she is looking for ways to catch up. In the end we didn’t end up catching up but we do discuss the possibility to visiting each other after the program. Not sure if that will happen but prior to the program I didn’t think it was possible that a girl would invite me to visit after a short interaction in a baths locker room and a bunch of texts later.

  9. #189

    Sept 9
    Another memorable interaction is with 2 Candian air hostesses. One is darker skinned and one of the Rockstars comments she is my type and I should approach. I hesistate and I’m not sure if she is hot enough. The other Rockstar doesn’t hesitate and approaches both girls. I wing and actually find the darker skinned girl is really cool and pretty cute. The interaction goes well for all 4 of us and we exchange details. As men that lead, we tell the girls we are going for coffee but they have other plans.

    The old me might have tried to change our plans and let the girls lead. Again this has been a bad habit of mine when I was needy. Girl says I’m going to be X, and I change my plans around what she is doing. For me, girls often loose a little respect when you are too easy and just let them lead. Often you go to spot X and can’t find them, and then its now go to Y or Z – or they don’t text back until morning. Not very masculine at all.

    We keep in contact over the next couple nights but for different reasons we don’t end up catching up. First night we don’t chase them, but apparently we were at the same place for a little while but didn’t run into each other. 2nd night they are hungover and some drama from the day stops them from coming out. Texts between me and my girl are pretty frequent but I’m finding myself falling into the friendzone. I decide to go big or go home. I ask the guys on the group thread for some suggestions on a super risky text to a birthday girl. I get a suggestion about spanking the girl for her birthday. I decide its not risky enough and I go for a hail mary – a text where I’m 100% going to get sex or get blown out completely. I borrow some material from another rockstars text where he goes super sexual and describes in detail what he is going to do her. Its way too early for text that in my interaction, I have sexuallised once and told her I had desires to bang her, however it was done in a classy method. I go for the hail mary anyway and send her a slightly modified version of the super sexual text and I tell her in graphic detail what I’m going to do to her. I go to gym and grab a 90 min massage and then I check my phone. I get a one word answer – “No.”

    I laugh at the response, I definitely wasn’t in the friendzone anymore so mission accomphished !! I wasn’t in anyzone. Maybe I could have played this interaction more textbook and not jumped to level 10 before passing level 5. For me I just wanted 1 text to push our interaction to the absolute limit. I didn’t want to waste another day or 2 with “safe chat”

  10. #190

    Sept 11

    Our hungary leg is winding down. Part of the trip has been trying to get girls back to our apartment to spend some personal time one on one. We have another type of one on one encounter in our apartment. Firstly its not a girl, and secondly its not someone that was invited. We had an intruder that somehow broke into the apartment and started to stockpile our laptops. Fortunately one of the rockstars was in the third bedroom and the intruder disturbed them. He chased them out of the apartment and lost sight of them as they hit street level.

    Fortunately for me I don't appear to have lost anything and thankfully not my passport that was in plain sight. One of the other flatmates lost some valuables. I go to sleep whilst the other guys end up spending half the night with the police and hotel security.

    This is not the first time on Rockstar that our group is targetted by criminals. A reminder to have travel insurance and keep valuables in a safe location.

    Monday is pack and travel to Stockholm day. I'm super excited to be heading to Stockholm. I'm looking to relocate there permanently. Its such a beautiful city and very attractive girls. I'm in technology and there is a vibrant mini silicone valley area.

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