Project Rockstar 2017 Journals

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    Sterling is offline Certified Love Systems Instructor

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    Project Rockstar 2017 Journals

    The 10th anniversary of Project Rockstar is here!

    This year's Project Rockstar program marks a very notable evolution of the curriculum. The focus is still entirely on becoming the most well-rounded, naturally attractive man possible. But this summer we'll be bringing on a couple new world class specialists to tackle everything from rebooting deep-seated internal belief systems, to exploring spirituality and deeper self-actualization. All while receiving the absolute best game training in the world from the best game instructors in the world. From social skills to fitness to lifestyle, nothing is left out as it relates to becoming the best man possible.

    As Project Rockstar has grown in size and scope so has the competitiveness. Currently, the program boasts an acceptance rate lower than an Ivy League school. That said, it opens its doors to people from all backgrounds and walks of life. We've had a doctors, astronauts, and even college students. The collection of individuals brought together celebrates the human drive for wanting to get better and to achieve great things.

    I'm proud to open up the PR2017 journals. Follow along as the rockstars embark on this incredible journey of self-discovery and transformation. Congratulations again to the Project Rockstar 2017 class on this very special 10th anniversary of Project Rockstar.



  2. #2
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    PR Intro Week

    Sometimes while sitting in seminar, I look around and have to take a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor. Here I am on a Wednesday, sitting being instructed by what may be the very best team of mentors on the topics of masculinity and communication. How the fuck did I get here?

    My name is Andrzej, I grew up in Orange County before moving to Los Angeles for school, ultimately staying there to pursue a career in financial planning for the past 3 years. This whole journey to where I am today started with a relationship in high school. My first girlfriend and I was a typical teenage romance, I lost my virginity to her and felt incredibly attached. I thought I had found the one and we talked about marriage despite living a combined less than 30 years on Earth. Our subsequent break up was the most devastating thing I had experienced in my life. I spent nights crying in my bed asking myself why I felt absolutely alone. I reasoned if I could get her back then I could make this feeling go away and get back to the exuberance I had felt before. Like any millennial, I turned to Google for answers. I read every blog I could find, any website that said they could help get my girlfriend back, until one day I stumbled on LoveSystems, a dating science website that said it could help me get over my girlfriend. What I read blew me away. Instead of focusing on getting this one girl back in my life, I needed to improve my skills with girls. Only then, if I wanted to reconnect with this girl, would I make the choice of pursuing her again. My head exploded. My whole life I had liked girls, but the girls that I liked didnít like me back, so the girls I had dated were girls that liked me before I liked them. When it came to my dating life it felt like I was an actor on stage being told what to do rather than a director who made his own decisions. With my newfound resources, I resolved that I would find a way to change this. I read and listened to every piece of material from the company I could get my hands on and by the time I got to college I was having more success. And yet, there was something missing. I still didnít feel like I was in control.

    For me joining a fraternity was the gateway into the life that I wanted. The frats partied, got fucked up, and hung out with all the hottest chicksÖ what more could I want? When I got rejected from the fraternity that I wanted, I didnít know what to do with myself. I resolved to get in the next semester, but in the mean time I fell into old bad habits. In high school, I had played a lot of video games, around 4-5 hours a day. I had kicked the habit when I came to college because I wanted to make friends but after my rejection, I regressed back into the habit and started smoking pot. And that is where the downward spiral began. I stopped going out, hanging out with friends; my entire social life was based on the online world of a game I played. I didnít realize that I was full on addicted until after I had spent $4,000 in 4 months on this online game. I was disgusted with myself. I kicked the habit, but the damage was done. Now, every time I went out I was filled with social anxiety and to cope I just drank myself to oblivion and hoped I would find a girl. Occasionally that happened but most of the time I just woke up in bed alone with a pounding headache. No girls liked me, and the ones that would run for the hills because I was so needy. It was at that point, that I started to question if my only two options were accepting being alone or being gay. I knew some guys that were interested in me so I reasoned if I were gay at least Iíd have love from somebody. I took this whole thing very seriously, but when I really thought about it I just couldnít get past the idea of giving another guy a blowjob. I decided I wasnít gay, so the only option I had left was to confront that anxiety and push through. It felt like wading through molasses, as at first it was awkward but eventually I got back to a place where I felt semi comfortable in social situations. Lovesystems offered a 3 day bootcamp to teach in person all of the information that I had been reading, so with my college graduation money I spent the weekend redirecting the course of the rest of my life. That experience led me to where I am today, sitting on the floor of the Cosmopolitan on a Wednesday at 2pm writing about my experiences.

    Where do I even begin? First thing you learn real quick, if youíre not approaching girls, youíre A: not going to be able to talk to them, and B: not going to get better at talking to them. So the first night thatís all I did. And it was pretty amazing to see that yes, beautiful girls will in fact talk with you and not just turn around right away. It wasnít til the second day that my mind was really blown.

    How do you talk with people? This is a question that we set out to answer on day 1. Of course, we are focusing on how it relates to women you are attracted to and want a relationship with but it also applies to every relationship you have. Takeaway from the night: people will listen to you when you talk about stuff youíre interested in. My whole life when I would talk with people, I would try to figure out what to talk about based on what they wanted to talk about. So Iíd ask them questions and put the conversational burden on them. We smashed this down real quick. For the whole night, the goal was just to have normal conversation with the girls we talked to. Holy damn. It was so much easier when all I had to do was lead the conversation around things that I wanted to talk about. It seems like such a simple thing but it changes everything about interacting with people.

    My success from the night of normal conversations evaporated as I was trying to focus on other things besides normal conversation. I put lot of pressure on myself to move the interaction forward and reverted back to relying on the girls I was talking to to drive the conversation forward instead of being a man and doing it myself. As soon as I got in my head, even girls that were interested in me would eventually get bored as they were forced to lead the conversation. That night was rough, but I realized the expectations that by putting so much pressure on myself based on results like, getting girls to like me or bringing a girl home was not helping me grow and was ultimately not what I wanted anyways. At the end of the day, I need to measure my success by the things I control and not the things out of my control, like how many times I was able to engage that girl in normal conversations, or throw in a funny line of banter within the conversation.

    I believe in this process and I believe that if I follow the instructions of these incredible mentors that have been refining this process for 7 years, I will get better with girls. And ultimately that will lead me toward becoming the man that I want to be. As one of the instructors said, ďThe man you want to be is waiting for you on the other side of this program, are you going to do what it takes to bring him out?Ē That is why every fucking day I want to smash the boundaries of what I feel is possible, because that is how we learn. Iím going to cut it here for now but I hope that you continue to read these because I have just embarked on what maybe one of if not the most powerful journey that I can embark on, the journey to becoming a man.

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    Welcome to my blog series. Let me introduce myself. I'm a 38 year old guy based in Australia. I've worked all my life in the IT industry and regard myself as reasonably successful in my work life. I'm not financially rich by any means but I do have enough money to live a comfortable life. As I write this journal, I'm homeless and jobless Ė neither is a significant problem. In my entire life, I've never actually been unemployed, and prior to this program I would never imagine being unemployed could be a good experience. For a lot of my life, I based my happiness around the job satisfaction I got from being a talented IT engineer and having a good job.

    Reflecting now, I can see I was focusing my mind on areas of my life that are good and neglecting areas that I don't have sorted. I've had a few failed relationships including a failed marriage. Instead of juggling all the balls at once, its easy to drop a ball and concentrate on others. One of the promises of PR is to help you work on all parts of your life, although much of the hype is around the social skills and how to interact with girls. Reading the previous years journals I read a few posts commenting that the social / girl side of things actually becomes a less important part of the program.

    I believed this but to be truthful I couldn't comprehend how going out every night for 3 months solid and improving your ďgameĒ to amazing levels, could end being not that important. I wait with anticipation to see how this plays out over the course of the program. I mention ďgameĒ as many readers will instantly understand what I mean. I donít really like the term ďgameĒ or ďpickupĒ. Game kinda implies itís a game where you might have a winner and a loser. In some senses people may think the girl is being tricked or taken advantage of, neither of these are cool in my mind. Of course the proper way is ďwin / winĒ where both parties benefit from the interaction. Maybe a better term is simply ďsocial skillsĒ, as many of the skills that apply to interacting with the opposite sex, also apply to many other types of social interactions.

    Project Rockstar officially kicked off on thursday and we all assemble at a bar in the Cosmo in Vegas. I am quietly nervous, anxious to see what I can learn from this program and how much of an impact it will have on my life. Within the first 5 mins of day 1 seminar, any doubts about the value or merit of this program were erased. As its a substantial time and money commitment for me - I had done my research, especially previous years journals.

    The key takeaways I had from my RS research is Ė let go of your control Ė give the instructors the remote control. Trust the system and process. Donít focus on results, focus on the process.

    Much of the "pick up/ game" stuff you see elsewhere is based on "smoke and mirrors" so its refreshing to see a program that lives up to its reputation.

    One of the first excercises was a bonding excerise. This was extremely powerful and the team bonds formed very quickly. The group of people was very diverse, and I soon discovered that we all shared common themes in our life. We all were ready for change and attending RS17 was clear evidence of that desire, and secondly we all encountered some kind of painful challenge in life.

    Night 1.
    4:30am Friday night / Saturday morning and the first night is complete, it was great to see everyone having a great time kicking off PR2017.
    The only direction from the instructors on the first night, was go out and have a good time with no pressure to do anything specific. I had my own goal - I wanted to kick the night off by grabbing a bunch of girls and taking them back to the table.

    This was to be my icebreaker. I had seen instructors click their fingers and easily pull girls to the table during superconference and after a couple days previous training I had learnt this social skill.

    I approached a set of 4 attractive girls, and they opened up friendly. I quickly invited them to the table and they were fine to come to the table. Infact not only did they have 4 girls, they also had 3 more friends. I'm like - ok great - 7 attractive girls at the table. We arrive at the table and in an instant the instructors look unhappy and I get confused. They tell me the girls have to leave the table - right now. I'm confused. I thought it would be great to have the table that is largely full of males to suddenly be full of attractive young girls.

    A very quick conversation, I'm told its because tonights aim isn't to bring large groups of girls back to the table - especially since it was literally 3 mins after we walked in the club. I didn't have any value, the table had the value. It was also an instructorís birthday so in hindsight that it would be wise to keep the table less cluttered with large groups of random girls that might be bottle rats.

    It was kinda funny how I told the girls hey you need to turn around, this table is no longer available. They were like "waitÖwhat.. why ?". I didn't explain much and they disappeared.

    I approached probably 15 groups of girls. I had some fear before approaching the girls and it feel uncomfortable and super rusty. I haven't approached in a long time. My headspace was a little bruised by the confusing table mix up. I soldiered on. The main thing I noticed was how boring and low energy my conversation was at times. Many conversations just fizzled out.

    At one stage of the night I grabbed a girl from another guys table below us, pulled her up to our podium and danced a bit. I just tapped her on the shoulder and put my hand out. She grabbed it and I pulled her up to my level. Not that long ago I didnít think this would be possible for someone like me Ė a 38 year old guy in a vegas mega club. Pushing these boundaries and limiting beliefs is a big part of this program.

    Later in the night I introduced myself to one group of girls that another student was already talking to. I focused my attention on one girl. She was here with her sister and friends. After getting to know her more I moved her away from the group, walked around the club, grabbing water from the table etc.

    After moving around we would move back to the table. I tried kissing her and soon found out she had a boyfriend. She wanted to kiss me but part of her was saying she shouldn't. Its interesting how girls that are attracted to you often donít mention the boyfriend early on. Perhaps this is me not communicating my sexual intent early enough, or the girl doesnít want you to leave straight away.

    One thing I noticed was I was approaching groups of just girls, no groups that had guys in it. This felt easier. Looking forward to seeing progress on this aspect of my social skills toolkit.

    Got a few numbers from girls throughout the night. One replied to a mansion invite and said they would get back to me. Iím thinking Ė yeah yeah, of course you wonít. Surprisingly they actually got back to me 2 hours later and said they were going for breakfast and then sleep and couldnít make it.

    I think they are going home monday but to be honest I forget which group I got which number from. And even what the girls looked like. A few people commented I was chatting with a hot blonde, but I hardly remember. I think I need to make notes during the night - especially when I grab the girls numbers. Names and description as a minimum as my memory is often poor. Vegas has so many girls and potential for such an abundance of social interactions its difficult to remember them all. Great problem to have !!

    Saturday night
    On Saturday night we focussed on having normal conversations with girls at the mega club XS. I talked about topics I am passionate about and interested in. I didnít prejudge if the girl would be interested in it. I found this night went well, many conversations lasted 20mins and could go longer. The aim wasnít to try to get anything from the girl, just share some normal conversation. One of the key learnings was that I didnít have to avoid boring topics like what I do for a living. Often if a girl asked what I did for a living I would simply answer ďcomputers / ITĒ and they would say ďoh thatís niceĒ and then the conversation would stall for a bit. If I talked about why I enjoy my job and why Iím passionate Ė itís a totally different conversation and suddenly interesting and often she will add her own experiences.
    Sunday night
    Sunday night was a completely different challenge. We worked on fun banter and pushing boundaries with flirting conversations. Getting ďblown outĒ by girls was ok Ė as the aim was to test boundaries. The night started awesome. A group of us rock stars approached a group of hot Asian girls. I focussed on one girl initially one on one, but included her friends in some of the conversation just so they could see their friend wasnít talking to some creepy dude. Soon I took the girl to the bar to grab a water. I worked on bantering, and mixed it with flirting hard. I didnít get blown out, but the night was early so I grabbed her number and thought I would catch her later. Later in the night I totally forgot what she looked like and didnít get a text reply.

    After a while I was pushing the interactions and getting blowouts per the objective. After a run of blowouts my mood changed. I was pretty low for a bunch of the night. Eventually I had a couple good interactions and then my mood dramatically improved. Its amazing to notice the effect your mood and vibe has on the interactions.

    Monday Night
    Monday night we head back to Marquee and we have the bungalow for the night. The bungalow is a 3 story townhouse directly backing on to the night club. It is the ultimate party place in vegas. We hit a little roadblock when the nightclub outdoor pool area is closed and access to the bungalow is restricted. I chat to the bouncers and find there is still access via the pool shortcut but they need to see your hotel key before you can get out the back.

    So I make a few approaches I find a couple attractive girls and soon they are keen for bungalow party. I send out a group text for a key. Unfortunately logistics gets in the way, there is a delay in getting a key, no one is familiar with the shortcut so we need to go the long way via the casino. Once we get outside the girls give me their number and then say they are going to their room and then coming straight to the bungalow. Of course we donít see them again. I think a combination of my neediness and the drama of my logistical challenge drops the mood.

    The learning experience is the next time I have similar issues I improve dealing with the logistic obstacles and we get more girls to the bungalow. It was a great party vibe for a while but after a while the girls disappear. Canít wait till next time we get the bungalow and the club is open outside.

    So much learning after just a few days. Can't wait to see my transformation over the next few weeks.

    John

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    Hello, I am Christopher P - 48 years old from Denver, CO. I am extremely grateful and proud to be a part of this wonderful program - Project Rockstar 2017. A couple years ago I became obsessed with this notion: “What does the very best version of me look like?” I decided to take a year off from my business to explore some possibilities. After a few months of travel in South America, I returned to the United States to do some work on myself. I found myself in the 10 Day Bootcamp in Las Vegas in July 2016. It was here that I discovered just how big the gap was between the man I wanted to be, and the man that I deep-down knew that I could be. It was a very emotionally painful experience, for I knew I had a tough road ahead of me. I felt the pain of all the years of fulfillment I missed out on, because of certain skills I lacked, and had no idea how to acquire.

    I immediately signed up for Tony Robbins’ Unleash The Power Within (November 2016 San Jose California) and Date With Destiny (December 2016 Boca Raton FL) I also signed up for an intense program called “Asia Immersion.” This was a month-long program in Taipei City, Taiwan. It was a complete paradigm shift for me. It was during this program that I began to think about how radically different my life could be. I could feasibly design my dream life from the ground up - making my own rules for myself, instead of following somebody else’s plans for me. Two and a half months ago, I made the decision to sell my house, my business and nearly all my possessions and say goodbye to the old me and my old life. Here I am in Las Vegas, homeless and jobless, and open to the wealth of opportunities that lie before me.

    I got here to Vegas a couple days early to hang out with some of my fellow Rockstars that had done the same. This was very relaxing, as the months, weeks and days leading up to now have been quite stressful. That relaxing feeling didn’t last for very long. I dropped my bags off at the mansion Thursday and headed for the seminar. Later, it was back to the mansion for our first house meeting. We went over a couple of rules and had a safety meeting for our group activity the next day - Going to the desert to shoot guns.

    Day 1: Friday-Desert-Guns

    We fired an AR 15 Semi-automatic rifle, a Glock 9 mm handgun and a 12 guage pump-action shotgun. It was super-fucking cool! I had fired weapons before, but many of the guys had not. It was interesting to watch them transform as they moved past their initial fear, and began to embrace the feeling of holding the power of death and destruction in their hands. Grabbed a quick nap and then went for a 20 minute jog.

    NIght Out 1 - Friday Marquis:

    The night felt good from the start. It was a very relaxed night with no instruction, and I was really looking forward to seeing some of the friends I have made in the last year. My social skills with women were quite rusty. I had not been going out much in the last few months, due in part to Rockstar Prep. I didn’t put a lot of pressure on myself to have fantastic interactions with women, rather to be in acceptance of where I was starting. After all, this is a sprint, not a marathon. My main focus was to just have fun and enjoy the evening. I enjoyed being in a fantastic club, in a fantastic place with fantastic people.

    Night 2 Encore Beach Club with table. (Instructor - Justin C. )

    Tonight we were to focus on having “Normal Conversation” with women. I made an early start upon entering the club. I wanted to make sure to quiet the voice in my head that puts up resistance to me making approaches. Early on, I forgot the assignment. I found myself having fun & flirty conversation (instead of just normal conversation) with a very cute girl. I wanted her, and I was ramping things up (or trying to) physically. I was reminded to stick to the plan of just normal conversation, and not introduce physicality. My next couple of interactions were better, but still included much extraneous movement of my arms and hands. I was instructed to just keep more still, with rock-solid body language. I did this for the rest of the night, and my interactions went much better. Just a shift in body language made a big difference.

    Night 3 Encore Beach Club (Night Swim- No Table- Instructor Justin C.)

    Tonight we were to focus on alternating/ oscillating between normal conversation, and fun & flirty conversation. We were to also add in physical touch and “Sub Communications” of body language. Pressure on - Pressure off. I noticed some of the interactions were stalling out on the lower end of the model. But some were also getting blown out through the top side by escalating too quickly. This was the point. To make sure that you were pushing the envelope on the interactions, not just riding them forever. I was talking to a smoking hot girl (very exotic-looking) in the middle of the night. I was doing lots of things right. Eye contact, proximity, touch, pressure on, pressure off, etc. I seem to be getting farther into the model with the interactions.

    My biggest concern right now is that I am sleep deprived. Most guys seem to be able to sleep in until 10 or 11 AM. I go to sleep at 4 AM and wake up at 7:00 AM and can’t go back to sleep. Sometimes I can’t even fall asleep for a nap in the evening before going out. My state last night was affected by my exhaustion. I now feel like I am coming down with a cold. Add in the new time commitment of having to write this stuff every day from here on out, I hope that my body can adjust. I feel like I am stretched way too thin on time. I don’t know when I will be able to fit in any workouts. I hope that I will fall into some type of rhythm with all of this stuff, but right now, I am exhausted, stressed and my immune system is strained. I feel like I am drawing on an “empty tank”. Emotionally flat. I feel like an emotional breakdown is just around the corner. (a good cry would probably help me at some point) I am, however grateful to be here in this house, with this opportunity, with these people. This is a once in a lifetime experience. I summon whatever power is in the universe to give me strength and guide me through this.


    It’s 11:00 AM Tuesday August 2. I woke up at 7:30 this morning after only 3 hours of sleep. I tried to no avail to go back to sleep. Before I went to sleep, I tried some magnesium spray that my roommate offered for me to use. It was supposed to help me sleep more, but so far, no luck.

    On top of feeling utterly exhausted, I now officially have a cold. At least the pressure is off. You know, that sense of dread that goes something like, “I sure hope I don’t get sick during Rockstar”. Now that it has happened, It’s one less thing I have to worry about. I am grateful that we have two of the next 3 nights off from clubbing. I should be feeling much better by Friday. I will just need to power through seminar today, and hopefully I can get caught up on sleep a bit tonight.

    Night 4 Monday Marquis Bungalo (Instructor Justin C. )

    Tonight we were introducing sexual conversation into our interactions. I had a nice interaction with a polish girl. It was the beginning of the night, on the dance floor before things really got going. It wasn’t too crowded or too loud yet. She and her two friends were just standing there, looking a bit bored. I began ramping things up with her a bit verbally and physically. I looked deep into her eyes and told her she was fucking sexy. I asked her if she had banged anybody since she had been here. Her answer was no. I asked her where the strangest place was that she had ever had sex. She told me on her neighbors lawn. She asked me where mine was, I told her in the bleachers of an outdoor Rolling Stones concert. She was quite impressed. We danced a bit. Her friends were mostly just watching us, still quite bored. Several Rockstars came in and winged for a bit here and there, but her friends were not very interesting or attractive, so those interactions didn’t last very long. I think I could have escalated physically more rapidly. I think I played it too safe, because the next thing I knew, she and her friend took off for the bar. Next time, I will push harder and get us both turned on before things have a chance to stall out. Push Harder!

    The club decided not to open up the outside area, and this turned out to be a real bummer. The place got so crowded, there was no place to stand. If you tried to stand still and talk to a girl, the bouncers would tell you to keep walking. They really got on my nerves after a while. Once it got loud and so crowded, I had trouble for the remainder of the night hearing anything anybody was saying for the rest of the night. I will have to rely much more on my physicality in these situations. I did lots of approaches last night, but I could have done more. I didn’t get very many girls to stop and engage. I must get better at being more captivating. It seems like I am just struggling to find things to say. It feels like I am trying to give something away that I don’t have right now. My cup feels empty. It seemed that after about 1 AM, nobody was interested. My state dipped to a point where I could not recover around 2:00 AM.

    I must operate from a place of giving. I want to give this person an amazing experience. Right now, because I am in my head with mechanics and “the model”, and being watched, it feels like I am trying to get something from her, rather than give something to her. I need to get my heart to be overflowing with abundance and generosity, so that I can give this away to the women I am interacting with. I need some help with this. I need to remember how I am when I am at my very best. I need to introduce fun into every interaction, but right now, it feels more like work than fun. I must and will push through this.

    Night in Tuesday Aug 2.

    We worked on a conflict resolution exercise which could prove to be very helpful in the coming weeks.
    Later, we had a cookout and just chilled for awhile. It felt good just to hang out and get to know each other in a very relaxed environment. I am beginning to feel like I am coming out of my shell a bit. Maybe I underestimated how much I have been holding back on showing all of myself to people. I’m not sure why I have been hiding parts of me. Fear that I won’t be accepted or liked if you really get to know me? Interesting thought. I turned in early, just after midnight. As I write this, I am feeling nearly rested for the first time in a few days.

    That's it for now. Much, much more to come.

  5. #5
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    Introduction

    Hey everyone. I’m Andrew. It’s really hard to write this introduction post one week in, given I’m already feeling like as if I’ve grown so much and changed. They have a saying that one day on RS is equivalent to a few weeks or months in the real world, and that is so so true.

    About me. I’m a 26-year-old engineer & MBA candidate. I grew up in a relatively small nice beach town, a lot of swimming and surfing and an active lifestyle all round. I left home at 17 with a scholarship for engineering. With a lot of hard work, I’ve achieved a lot of things in my life up to this point, including 9 years of military service in both engineering and combat based roles, competed at national level swimming, I’m currently mid-way through a top tier MBA, and I own (most of) my apartment in an expensive city. Overall, I’m doing well if we take a lens of what most of society would think is successful for someone my age.

    Despite some success in most areas of my life, I’ve never really been satisfied or happy with any of it. I have an approach that whatever I’ve got, it could be better/isn’t that great. I’m a very driven and motivated person, though each time I reach a goal I get more unsatisfied and am usually lost once I smash a big goal, leading me to a point of feeling like I’m drifting and looking for new direction. I’ve done most things for myself since I left home, and as such haven’t ever really had the peer network or group of great people around me with similar growth mindsets that I can learn from, and I think this is a major part of my life I’ve been missing.

    I’ve never been particularly bad with women but whether it was being relatively good looking or due to achievements & reputation, most of my relationships had come from luck or social circle. When I think about my past relationships I feel guilty that I wasn’t able to bring the full genuine me to enhance the life of the women around me, but rather, I’d get to a point and put up walls, and I wouldn’t treat them as the beautiful feminine beings they were. I made some bad decisions, put bad emotions and negative energy into these relationships, and just overall wasn’t always a positive influence in their lives. Likewise, I didn’t value my own needs or ambitions while in these relationships, and we both suffered.

    When I think about the relationships in my life before RS, I see that I’m the kind of guy that everyone knows, few are close to, with nearly none that would be there when I really needed it. I look around at the coaches here, and the incredible bonds they have with each other, it’s just something else that is so hard to find anywhere else in society. I’ve seen similar bonds in certain teams within the military, but this is different again. There’s no ego, and they’re all just here trying to help each other and the people around them in the best, most genuine way possible. That’s something I really want to develop during this program.

    I deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan last year, and had a long-term relationship with a truly beautiful woman, inside and out. It’s a long story, but cutting to the chase I wasn’t the man I need to be in order to provide the right masculine energy for any woman, let alone a great woman like that. She ended up going radio silence, cutting me out of her life and moving on, and left me in limbo until I got home 1-2 months later. Whether it was good on her part or not is irrelevant; at the time this was one of the hardest things emotionally I’ve ever faced, but it was a huge catalyst for change and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it.. I’m thankful it happened the way it did, as it attached so much pain and has driven so much change and action.

    Coming into the program, I have been extremely focussed on business and entrepreneurship, and have always held a mindset of ‘if you’re not growing you’re dying’. I have been getting ready to quit my job, and jump off the cliff into working on myself and marching to the beat of my own drum, but I am keeping completely open to how my thoughts and life will change during this program.

    This is my story, but as I learned this week, that’s all it is, a story, and the stories we tell ourselves define our lives (so I’ll be careful to watch my thoughts).

    I saw RS as an intense period for me to develop into the best version of me there is, do it with some amazing people, and learn a shitload about lifestyle along the way. I’m on RS to ultimately become the awesome masculine guy I know I have inside me, as quickly as possible. Before the program, I didn’t really get what masculinity meant, as it feels like a concept our society undervalues and misconstrues into some negative aggressive crap. But that’s not it at all. As the weeks go on, I’m sure we’ll all discuss it in our blogs. My envisioned outcome for RS at this point is to finish with the program with a completely new inner dialogue, to be a person who expresses himself at a deep genuine level with my friends, strangers, family, anyone, and having built a strong brotherhood with the people around me that are all on the same path. I’ll springboard off into continuing growth in all areas of my life, including entrepreneurship.

    Days 1 – introductions

    We met a few guys throughout the day (we had a group dinner the night before with most people to break the ice) before heading to the hotel to meet everyone and the instructors. The first day was basically an intro to the basic structure of the program, and introductions. We aren’t talking bullshit 30s introductions we give everywhere in our lives. The alumni went first, and gave real, vulnerable, stories of where they were at and how far they’ve come. We then went around and did the rockstars and mentors. It was incredible to see so many people sharing deep, no filter insights about their struggles in life, their issues and their hopes. The thing I noticed was that in every single person story, I could see part of me. It’s crazy how similar we all are, yet are from a really diverse backgrounds. Everyone here has done some awesome shit in their lives, but have large pain to go with it. This place is such an open growth environment, where there is no judgement sharing anything, we’re all just here trying to help each other however we can to be the best people we can be. And that’s what this whole program was always about, becoming good people.

    Day 2 – team building / shooting & first night out

    We went out into the desert and shot some guns. This was a cool opportunity for me to teach the boys some of my craft, along with one of the instructors. It was a fun bonding experience showing the guys how to handle assault weapons, and I got a moment to do a bit of a live moving demo.

    This night was the first night out, and happened to be Sterling’s birthday too. Tonight we basically all just went nuts, did our thing, and let the instructors observe. I was out there, guns blazing, being the shit talking banterous funny guy, and I had a lot of fun.

    Day 3 – 10day day 1, and XS

    The 10 day bootcamp started today and we had a long discussion on people & their ‘projection’ (or mask), masculinity, as well as normal conversation. It’s unfortunate that for so much of our lives people live as projections of what they think other people will like, or talk and act in ways which are to please other people, rather than be their real genuine self. The easiest thing for a person to change is the projection, but the hardest thing to do is change is the person inside; and that’s exactly what RS aims to do. Most stuff in the ‘game’ community is around changing the projection, which results in people acting in inauthentic ways which eventually lead to feeling worse about themselves, where as changing the actual person in a way that brings the projection and person into sync is so much bigger and more powerful than learning a few lines and techniques.

    Masculinity is incredible. It’s authenticity, it’s purpose, it’s having fear and doing shit anyway. It’s taking control of your life, despite things falling apart. It’s being able to do the things that matter when you really need to, but don’t want to. It’s taking responsibility, taking action. It’s seeing the role of a man in life. People have this view of masculinity as being aggressive, directive, commanding etc, but none of those traits matter if you cant tell someone you love them, say you fucked up, be authentic, be soft when needed, be an inspiration, be vulnerable, be caring, be a rock for people. It’s realising the difference between masculinity and femininity, and then being the masculine energy so that women can be feminine and don’t need to protect themselves by acting in traditionally masculine ways. The biggest threat to a woman in life is men; so as soon as you can offer physical and emotional safety in a genuine way, women are free to be their natural beautiful selves. The instructors here are incredible; they’re some of the most solid, amazing people I’ve ever seen. Watching them interacting with their girlfriends is incredible, they’re tender, warm, caring, strong, decisive, charming, gentlemen. And in return, their girlfriends are entirely feminine. But they’re all dealing with their own shit too, and this is what it is; its getting kicked in the face over and over again and still getting up, being that great person.

    Tonight’s task was to go out and talk to people with nothing but normal conversation, to see how long and how intresting and how much fun we could actually have with just talking about normal things that interest us. That was the key; to go and talk to people with no outcome dependence and simply just talk about things that I’m interested in. I was expecting to be bored all night, and my mind was blown. I had a lot of interactions where I just talked about random stuff I like out of the blue, stuff like my favourite colour, surfing, swimming, etc, and it was great to see how much people genuinely engage in conversation when I’m there without any bullshit. All good vibes, good emotions.

    I met a gorgeous girl with her friends all in their bikinis (the club we were at has a massive outside pool, the clubs here in Vegas blow my mind continually), and just started talking about normal things. I was surprised how long I had the attention of the cute girl, and we ended up talking and hanging out a lot that night. We had a great genuine connection and spent the night together before she had to leave the next day. It was so cool to look around and see all of the boys just talking to women and being good genuine people, and I had so much gratitude for the position I was in.

    Day 4 – 10 day day 2 & XS night Swim

    Today we talked about the different conversations in relationships, body language, and banter/fun. The task tonight was to start implementing some masculine body language into conversations, and introduce some banter.

    I probably talked to around 30 or 35 groups of women tonight, and was working on quickly getting comfortable touching people and them being comfortable with it. Somewhat of a bad habit I’ve got is being too high energy, too much banter, moving around too much, and trying to get people to like me too much, rather than just being solid calm and masculine. I had a lot of interactions tonight where I just let that go and I started to see the issue. At one point, it all came together perfectly, where I was walking past a private table of intimidatingly good looking people. Lots of guys, a few hot girls, but one insanely gorgeous woman. Potentially one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen, period. This group was littered with excuses not to talk to her; they're at a table, there's heaps of cooler guys there, shes defs got a bf, she wont like me as a random just walking past, they're about to take a group photo etc. I saw her, took a step past and thought fuck no do this now. Went up and waved her over out of the table, and immediately hit it off. She had great chat, insanely great personality, and really blew my mind at how much I liked the person underneath. Later on, we got deep and I saw some of the most beautiful feminine qualities I’ve ever seen. We headed back to the mansion and had a great night.

    Day 5 – 10 day day 3 & Marquee

    At this club theres a massive outdoor pool area that’s got apartments from the hotel connecting out to the club, and on Mondays we get one of them instead of a table. It’s so cool, having a 3 story bungalow in the middle of a club.. however, when we arrived at the club we realised the back doors were shut and the outside part closed – no access to the bungalow. Tonight we worked on leading conversation and running with setting the standard for what’s normal and acceptable. This was the first night I noticed a bunch of weird guys out, because we were all so packed into a small-ish club. I watched a line of 10 guys walk past the same girl and every 2nd guy said the exact same line. Just 5 days in, the contrast between what we’re doing; becoming better human beings, and what these other dudes are doing is already stark.

    I had a bunch of great interactions tonight and met a gorgeous Indian girl. Thinking about her background where sex and sexuality is even more taboo than most, I was amazed at the power of setting the strong expectation for what’s normal. By being ok with my sexuality and the fact that women like sex too, it allowed her to open up and be free. We hung out in the bungalow and had an incredible time, I felt blessed to share in her experiencing her sexuality in such a beautiful moment.

    Day 6 – 10 day day 4 & night off

    Today we talked about deep conversation and warmth. It’s incredible, it relates to the masculinity discussion so much, and it’s essentially the guy I want to be.

    Tonight we had an extra conflict resolution seminar and then a BBQ for one of the guys birthday’s. It was cool to just hang out with the lad for the night. I’m already feeling such a strong bond and connection with these awesome people.

  6. #6
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    Rockstar has officially kicked off. I feel a broad range of emotions. I am super excited and nervous as well. Will I fit in, do I really belong here, and will I really change like the other rockstars before me? These are all the questions I have going through my head.
    I come from a small town in North Carolina where most people know me. I was raised on a farm so did not develop really good social skills like many living in more urban areas. I have two older sisters that picked on me a lot. My mom and dad have been together and married for over 40 years which is almost unheard of in this society. I had some older male cousins but they were quite a bit older than I was so I did not really have any male role models to teach me about women. My dad and uncles were my role models and they were rugged tough men. My dad was a Vietnam veteran who had many confirmed kills in battle and was hard as they come. Between this and being raised on a farm I was taught a man doesnít show emotion, works his ass off for what he has and needs to be tough. I am thankful for the way I was brought up, I can change a tire, kill and skin an animal, grown my own food, ride a horse and do a lot of things the average man canít or has never. Those are all great things but there was something lacking, social skills. Sure I could talk to anyone and make small talk, I was not a total introvert. I did have a lot of friends and was popular in school. I had a couple of girlfriends in school and in college but it wasnít consistent like what I observed from some guys. It was not the quality of girls that I wanted either. When I did have a quality girlfriend I would allow her to run all over me a lot of times. I went to college thinking I would meet my wife and everything would work out. This did not happen. I was pretty wild and fell into the party scene, graduated college, moved back to my hometown and kept partying. I dated and hooked up with several girls and viewed women in a relatively negative light. I met a girl through a mutual friend and started dating her. We were together a while, the new wore off and the relationship became stale. She cheated on me and told me and I broke up with her and planned on just moving on. I started missing her and thought at the time I would never get another girl as pretty and as cool as her. We ended up getting back together and I bought her an engagement ring. I bought the ring not with the intention of getting married, but I figured with a ring on her finger she would be mine and not cheat on me again. She didnít cheat on me again but the relationship became stale and I started wanting more in my life and other women. We split up and again I started missing her but wanted to move on. I was in a bad state and quickly realized I could not just rebound and get a quality girlfriend as easy as I could in my twenties, I was mid-thirties at the time. I researched on the internet how to get girls, ordered and read some books and then discovered a company that offered live training. I thought this is something I need and want to do. I attended the Super Conference and learned a lot and started having some success. While at the conference I learned about Project Rockstar but thought it was only for the super wealthy which I am far from. I thought I would never spend that kind of money, I didnít have it in the first place to spend. After I experienced some success from applying what I had learned from the Super Conference I was convinced Project Rockstar was worth the money. Now here I am.
    Night one: Most of us met Wednesday night and went out to dinner to get acquainted. Thursday arrived everyone got settled into the house. Our first night out was without instruction. It was Andrewís birthday and everyone just went out to have a good time. We went to XS. It reminded me of the Super Conference. I knew what to do and went right to work. Approach after approach after approach. I got several phone numbers which isnít really a milestone but it was a victory because I had several interactions. We even got to drink some for the celebration. I only had two drinks because that is not why Iím here. I ended up dancing with a couple girls and met a cool girl from Israel. We danced a lot and kissed but she had a friend she would not leave, even though she said she was going to. I had a great time, a couple of the guys ended up bringing some girls back to the mansion which is great for the first night out. This was a chance to have fun, meet all the guys and get into the mindset of going out every night.
    The next night we had instruction to get into normal conversation and hold it until the girl left. I was surprised how many girls stayed even though the conversation got boring as can be at times. We were supposed to hold a conversation for twenty minutes or until the girl left. I was so relieved when some of the girls finally left. The assignment was to approach girls, beautiful girls and not so beautiful ones. The more beautiful ones to no surprise left much quicker. I was surprised how you can just come up with so much random things to talk about.
    Night three, and the second night with instruction. The instruction was to sexualize conversation and touch. This was actually a little more difficult than I thought. I was a little rusty and had a bad habit of playing it safe and only touching the girlsí backs. This was pointed out to me so I kept aware of it and tried to correct the bad habit. I still find myself doing it from time to time. Again, I got several phone numbers and kissed a few girls but no solid results. I did approach a lot, in fact by the end of the night it was hard not finding a group of girls I had not approached.
    Night four, chaos. We were supposed to have a bungalow reserved you could access from the club but the entrance from the club to the bungalow was closed. It was so packed and loud in this place. Very hard to approach and talk to a girl. I teamed up with a former rockstar and we made a lot of approaches and had a good time until toward the end of the night. He started drinking and then getting my hand and putting it on girlsí butts and having me touch and push boundaries with some girls I had no desire in at all. He also had me talking to girls with boyfriends and I finally lost him. I told him to do the same and give me examples and he would say this is about me and not him. I think he was purely just getting entertainment from me. I met up with some of the other guys and went to the casino floor to talk to girls in a quieter environment. I met a very beautiful hostess and talked to her a while and got her number. I figured she would say she had a boyfriend or couldnít while at work but she didnít. My approach was solid. She hasnít returned the text I sent her but that is another subject and Iíll make that happen in time. Looking forward to learning some new skills and spending time with all these cool guys which will be friends for life.

  7. #7
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    Intro

    A little bit about me. I was born and brought up in a south asian country and i was there till i was 20 years old. growing up in a muslim conservative country is tough and to add it up, i was not quite the popular kid, more of an outcast for most of my life. I only had one girl friend who pretty much chose me and she was on of the hottest girls in school. from day 1 i had an image in me that i’ll get married to her and live happily ever after. unfortunately due to my negativity, and over possessiveness i lost her. she broke up with me. that really destroyed me. i was in a very bad depressed state for about 6 years till the time i found my way to the 10 day bootcamp. i suspect towards the end of our relationship she probably cheated on me but till today i don’t have it in me to find out. the salt on my wound was when she started hooking up with a guy who i considered my best friend and soon after they started dating. it just shattered me and i took this bad feeling with me when i moved to north America.
    it was not easy for me there as well. i only got to kiss a girl once for the first four years there. i just was giving up on myself and my life and the thought of taking my life was a common occurrence for me at the point of life. this curriculum has already changed my life in many ways. it was only fair on me to continue on this journey and see where it leads me at the end of the joiner.

    DAY 1

    Finally after over a years preparation i find myself in the cosmo’s 39th floor, sitting in front of the core instructor group, sharing my story and why i am here. we were there 3 hours extra, listening to everyone. from the participants, the alumni and the instructors. and i must say its more than i had imagined and i’m so glad i am here. the next 9 weeks will churn me into the man that i’ve always just visioned to be in my mind.

    everyone has a had problems and dark pasts and it was touching to hear out everyone and learn from them. The instructors have a vast amour of knowledge and just then sharing their stories and what they went through to put together this program is just far beyond what I have thought. I have a lot of respect for them and I feel fortunate to be part of Project Rockstar.

    Day 2

    I’m just amazed at my own abilities. i think its time i need to stop doubting myself so much and go along with the flow of how i feel. Venture’s passion during the seminars really pumped me up. Just the levels of energy around me was enough to be out of my head and just live and have fun.
    There was a point in the night when I somehow just gave up. mentally and my body too. i was so down and just took me a while to just breath, relax, and after something magical just happened. It felt like i found my dream girl in that black dress walking by me. The huge couch at our table was a big obstacle and i just jumped over it. something like a hero in the Bollywood movies and i just ran for it. that was the moment when i felt the rush, the hight, that just left me leap out of my body in some way and my head and just be who i want to be. it was smooth sailing after. i was so relaxed, and i was able to just go through the nights exercise with such ease. i haven’t talked to and met so many women in one night like this in years. one of the alum’s told me i need to not be so hard on myself and from time to time give myself credit for the small steps of progress i am making .

    Day 3

    So far the toughest night so far. Mission of the night was get get blow out and get used to touching women. its normal as long as we can find the right thresholds. that’s exactly what i did. some worked, others did not. mostly towards the end we all had the same expression of frustration. on the flip side, masrshmello was playing and that was fun. i love his music so that was helpful to for me to be in a good mood. early in the night i had set a goal to talk to the hottest girl i can find and rapidly escalate with her which, sounds simple now, was quite a feat to achieve. take away for me at the end of the day was to be more comfortable in the environment and not care about what people think about me or what i am doing. i feel like i did better than the previous day. i will keep focusing on the basics and push my boundaries and plow through this.

    Day 4

    Much better of a night, not because it was the first “bungalow” night. we were having logistical issues from the start. the outside pool area was closed so going in and out of the bungalow was a challenge. so i just focused on having a good time in the clubs and i personally love clubbing. it took me some time to get into a good mood, something that i want to work on, because as the night goes on and more the girls are hit on my other what i call normal guys, their resistance rises. i finally felt things were coming back to me compared to the previous days. the previous 2 days were a rollercoaster for me where pushing the conversation forward was a big challenge. i just felt like in my head i’m hitting a wall and all the good conversational strands of conversation were not coming in. Later when i was thinking about my interactions i realized so many missed opportunities. some logistical issues were there too where on 2 occasions girls were pulled away by their friends even after me trying to keep them entertained and part of the conversation. i’m happy overall with my last nights progress. i finally see the wall breaking away and i’m getting more in tuned with myself.

    Day 5

    Encore beach club. this was the day i figured out what my inner masculinity looks like. finally i was able to stop girls in their track to talk to them. my approaches have been so week up until then. just don’t lean in. let them come to you to hear you. you are the man and she’s lucky that you are giving her the opportunity to get to know you. after all we are spending so much time figuring ourselves out and social calibration, how people interact, understanding women, their needs, how to care for them and how to make them feel comfortable and safe around us to they can embrace and be free with their inner little girl. they are the most kind, compassionate and warm being who complete us in ways we don’t ever notice and mostly it goes unappreciated.

    Day 6

    Inner game part 1. that’s the seminar for today. very insightful and a very emotional journey this was today. a bit more and i’m sure all of us gown men would have had a lot of waterworks. it was good to hear out others and their stories and how we can embrace our pasts and move on the a better future without the baggage that is holding us back to becoming the masculine men. this program, contrary to popular belief is not about picking up girls of just have lots of sex with women. yes this is a bi product of it when we come out of if on the other side. this is because of the massive changes we will be making and bettering ourselves in unimaginable ways. its only been a week since the program started but it feels like i’ve been in this program for a month now. i can’t wait to see my new truer self in 8 weeks from now.

  8. #8
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    Blog Post 1

    Start of week 2. If you told me 3 months ago that I would be used to sleeping at 6am and waking up at 12pm I would have laughed at you, but here we are. I like to think I have the fundamentals down, but my seventh night out really showed me just how important it is to remember the basics of communicating. Case and point: how are you supposed to open a girl? My standard way is to find an attractive girl, and tell her exactly that: ďHey, youíre attractive. My name is Andrzej...Ē Last night I felt myself going through the motions, and although yes the girls were attractive, I didnít necessarily mean it when I said it. Result: girls stopped opening. What a novel idea, if I donít put energy into being authentic with the people I meet they wonít want to talk to me. I have been practicing talking to girls for three years and still I sometimes forget that this isnít a game, but a living interaction with another human. If Iím not present, I canít expect them to be.

    As a part of this program I spent three months building myself a body through blood, sweat, tears, and 4,500 calories a day. One of the things I learned is that there is a difference between going and lifting the weight and putting real effort into contracting the muscle. Now I realize how important this lesson was as it comes full circle on this program. For 5 hours almost every night Iíve been here I have approached girls constantly, working my ability to connect with them. But there is a difference between just going up to girls, introducing yourself, then talking with them and truly engaging them in a meaningful conversation that leaves you both in a better place. Because thatís the goal right? My goal with this program is not to just learn some magic lines or routines to help me sleep with more girls. I actually want to have meaningful connections with the people around me and leave them in a better place than when I found them.

    It sometimes feels like I shouldnít be here, like Iím living in a dream that I may wake up from at any moment. When I take a moment to stop and process where I am, what Iím doing, and who I am with, it all feels surreal. 12 months ago I had no idea how I was going to make this program happen. Everything had to fall into place in my life for this opportunity to materialize. In the last week I have met the most amazing brothers, been instructed by some of the most genuine and accomplished mentors out there, and have had(sober) some of the most fun Iíve ever had. Iím afraid that one day Iím going to wake up and the best experience of my life will be over. So much of my life I have spent looking back at the past or looking forward to the future, focused on everything but the present moment. I donít want to do that anymore. Even now Iím doing it! What a racket. So I am going to start my morning by practicing gratitude. I want to learn to be satisfied with where I am right now, not because I no longer want to achieve anything, on the contrary I canít imagine going back to what I used to consider ďnormalĒ life. Tony Robbins says there are two key ingredients to a successful life: the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. That art of fulfillment will be a key for me to live and be happy even when I am not at the end of 12 months or more of hard work.

  9. #9
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    I always temper my expectations. I have always been taught that expecting mind blwoing results from anything or anyone is a recipe for disappointment. Having higher expectations for myself was the norm, but skepticism was still part of a healthy mind set.

    I usually followed these rules, but my expectations for PR were an exception. Going into PR, I expected powerful impetus to live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life. A life where I can get anything I want and push the limits of what I want.

    This is a change that I really need. I am 39. I had just broken up with an amazing girl because I felt that I have not been with enough women to settle down with one. I had just bought an apartment in NYC,which is something that always wanted. But I did not make me happy. I took six weeks off work which is something that I do often with no serious financial reservations. Having this flexibility is something that I always wanted. But it did not make me happy. I had an MD and an Ivy league MBA. People are impressed, but I did not think it was such a big deal. I was a founder of a $300M biotech company, but all I could think about was about that I had the smallest share. I had a variety of sexual experiences on regular basis, but I always thought that the women should be more attractive and experiences need to be more plentiful. I was working on my pilots license, which something that I always wanted, but that only brought marginal enjoyment. I was not unhappy. I had no right to be unhappy, based on all these things. I may have been content. I was definitely unfulfilled.

    Everyone can trace their problems to some origin and I had my standard “blame set”. Coming to the US at a pivotal stage for sexual development and being placed in an all boys religious school was certainly a strong contributor. Getting thrown into a 4000 kids high school brooding with Brooklyn kids sexual energy (everyone taller, bigger and more sexually mature than me) an me, while not speaking any English made it even harder to develop a male-female gender roles which further solidify at that age. Ending up in a tiny conservative liberal arts college gave me a very late start on finally becoming comfortable with women. I lost my virginity 2 days before my 22nd birthday.... after becoming convinced that it wouldn't ever happen. Ever since then,I felt that I had a chip on my shoulder. I had to make up. I am a man after all and I need to be with women. Coming from a extraordinary family with solid values I felt an implied pressure to get married and stay with a single woman forever. But the thought of this always made me cringe. It should be be natural. I should want this. But how can I be with a single woman for the rest of my life!? I'm so far behind... I haven't had enough. I will get bored with her, get a divorce etc...

    While other aspects of my life were progressing,women continued to be a struggle. Sure I met plenty and I was with them, but the process was so labored and unnatural. I knew I was doing something wrong, until I picked up “The Game”. The book completely altered my perspective on the man-woman relationship and led me to learn more. As I took bootcamps, and pushed my comfort zone, I felt more confidence and that feeling permeated into other aspects of my life. I failed to sustain the effort however and soon reverted back to my frustrated self.

    It is difficult to describe all the other baggage that I'm bringing to PR. Everyone is. Everyone has baggage as it is a part of the human experience. Few people however have the capacity to recognize their baggage, face the need to shed it and take the massive action needed. This is especially true as we age.

    Coming into PR, I'm excited about meeting women. But I'm also excited about meeting men. Men who, like me realize that they want more out of life. Men who have excelled in other aspects of their lives so, as to have the resources to make such a substantial commitment of time, money and psychological energy in order to excel.

    I never had too many friends. Not just because I'm introverted and put up a shield. I'm also very bad a at staying in touch with people. In the year leading to PR my relationship with two of my closest friends has undergone a catastrophic shock brought on by an unsuccessful business venture. The amount of money lost was inconsequential, but the relationships are now shattered. I've looked at the situation every way possible, blaming myself, blaming my friends, trying to distribute the blame and responsibility. I tried to forgive and approach and rationalize, but a great chasm remains. I still do not understand how life long friendship can collapse in a course of a couple of months and dollars. However I'm willing to admit that the problem is with me and not with them. I look at PR not just as gateway to new friends, but also as a way to see within myself and repair may relationship with my life long friends.

    My goal was to gain the ability to get anything I want and not want anything that I cant have. As I started doing the exercise program and understanding more of what PR will give me, I realized that my third goal is to appreciate what I have already got.

  10. #10
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    Introduction.

    Hi,

    I’m Justis I’m 26 years old, and I’m from Toronto.

    Sometimes I wish I were normal.

    I wish I could be happy waking up, going to some job, going home to watch TV for a couple hours then going to bed. But the truth is I’m not.

    I want more. I constantly want to be doing more and creating a better life for myself and those around me, which is ultimately what led me to Rockstar.

    Whenever I’m about to do something outside of my comfort zone I get really fucking scared. Which is also the point where “I wish I didn’t have to do this” comes in. But from now on I’m going to recognize this feeling as a good sign. It’s a precursor that there’s a lot of growth coming. And that’s how I felt in the days and hours before Rockstar.

    I grew up a pretty normal life, 1 Mom, 1 Dad, 1 younger brother and a white picket fence in the suburbs just outside of Vancouver, Canada.

    Nine months ago I moved to Toronto, previous to that I was living in Calgary where I was fucking miserable.

    In January 2016 I moved to Calgary for a promotion. I didn’t know anyone except the people I worked with (who were mostly hot girls aged 19-24), but I wasn’t “allowed” to hang out with them because I was their boss.

    This messed me up socially. Instead of going out and meeting new people I shut myself in and spent a fucking lot of time reading, writing and going to the gym. But it also fucked me up because I feel like I was suppressing a lot of my masculinity because I felt like I had to pretend I wasn’t attracted to the women I was working with.

    My life changed last spring, when my childhood best friend told me about the love systems super conference.

    I didn’t love the idea of going to a “conference” to learn about meeting women, but aspects of the weekend appealed to me: Getting better with women, meeting growth minded people, learning how to cultivate a better lifestyle, and hearing more about Project Rockstar being the main ones.

    I read the game in 2009 and while it was valuable (it helped me get my first girlfriend, one night stand etc), there were parts that were pretty fucking weird.

    I figured Super Conference would be similar in the sense that students would be fed a bunch of shit that helps you talk to women (tricks, weird outfits like top hats, nail polish ETC ETC), we would then use these tricks at our own discretion out on the strip or at nightclubs, refine them some what and then BOOM . We’d be better at talking to women!

    Again, this wasn’t ideal but I needed to try something my dating life was non existent. So I bought a Silver level ticket, and flew to Vegas for the weekend.

    That weekend changed my life.

    There was no “Game” stuff, instead it was about building strong inner beliefs and not being ashamed of who you are, because success with women would start from there.

    I went home four days later a changed man. And in the following months, my life would transform for the better.

    I quit my shitty job that I hated. Packed up my studio apartment, and moved to Toronto. Among other actions to improve my career and personal life, I reached out to love systems and asked to be an unpaid intern. I started hanging around the office in Toronto, consuming material and learning from instructors.

    Six months later, Derek Cajun suggested I apply to Project Rockstar. It was a Thursday, and the applications were due on Sunday. I spent all weekend writing, rewriting and editing my application and submitted it just before the deadline.

    After four skype interviews I still had no idea if I was accepted or not, they gave up nothing, until they cracked a smile and told me I was in.

    A week later I started the fitness program and from that moment on, my life started transforming in huge ways very quickly.

    Nothing I had ever done physically compared to the intensity of this program. NOTHING. Thanks to 84 straight days in the gym, and a lot of meals of canned tuna/Oats/Avocado and Eggs I got my body from 182 lbs and 16.8% body fat down to 165 lbs and 9 % body fat.

    But more importantly I learned that focus, discipline and hard work will produce amazing life changing results in short periods of time. I learned there’s no short cuts. There’s no magic formula or supplement that will give you the body you want. The only sure fire way, is just hard ass work.

    It was challenging, physically, mentally and emotionally, but it was rewarding as hell and pretty fun in it’s own way.

    Now I want to take that lesson and implement to the other areas of my life and especially on Rockstar.

    Let the roller coaster ride begin! Bring on Rockstar 2017.




    July 28th – Instructor’s Birthday Party at Marquee.

    Holy shit, I don’t know the last time I felt that nervous walking into a night club.

    What did I have to be nervous for.

    This wasn’t a formal night of instruction. We were just here to have fun. But here I was nervous as hell, surrounded by people I barely knew, about to walk into a nightclub.

    We were a couple minutes early getting to the club, so we waited around and talked to each other. I could feel the nervous energy building. And building. And building.

    Finally the instructors, their girlfriends and some Rockstar alumni started showing up. Which made me more nervous.

    We started navigating our way inside. Go wait in this line, show the big guy your ID, then wait in this other line. Wait in this line then get in the elevator.

    Welcome to Vegas.

    On the way to the elevator, I saw a fucking stunning mocha skinned girl with big glasses. I took a step towards her, and realized she was wearing a microphone. She probably worked there, but I kept moving.

    “You must work here, because you are way too hot to be standing alone.”

    She smiled, and we chatted for a minute or two, then I got back in line.

    Relief.

    We all walked to the table, and I stood there for maybe 10 seconds before an instructor said “Don’t stand around here, go do your thing.”

    More relief.

    I felt comfortable now that I was “allowed” to go talk to random strangers in the nightclub versus hanging around at a table with people I barely knew.

    The night was up and down, but more up than down.

    Around 1/1:30 I was standing at the bar outside talking to someone and I saw a stunning dark skinned girl wearing a black dress. So I walked over and talked to her.

    “Hi, you’re pretty hot.” I said. “What’s your name.”

    “Bianca” she said twirling her hair.

    We chatted for a second from there. I left and said I would catch up with her later.

    A little while later, three rockstars and myself were talking, and I noticed her and her friend standing behind us.

    I left the guys and started talking to her again.

    A while later, I said we should get out of here. We did. I brought her back to the mansion and into my bedroom.

    Not a bad first night…

    Journal July 29th

    Day 1 of 10 Day - Normal Conversation

    I felt way more relaxed, tonight because I brought a girl home the night before.

    I felt I was able to take a lot of pressure off myself after having a fun first night.

    Plus I felt pretty confident in my ability to hold a normal conversation—our goal for the night.

    Early in the night I wanted to keep my mood up, so I would talk to the first decent looking girl I saw. Perfectly fine on an average night out, but part of our exercise was that we weren’t allowed to walk away until she did. So the downside of this is that I would be stuck talking to someone who maybe wasn’t the hottest, for a long fucking time.

    After a couple long conversations that I wasn’t really into, I saw a girl in white standing by the smoking area. I walked away from whichever Rockstar or instructor I was talking to and said “HI”.

    We started talking.
    And we talked.

    And we talked.

    And we talked some more.

    We talked about the weather, where she’s from (Ontario), what she watches on Netflix (the Killing, Breaking Bad), What she does for work (Advertising), How long she’s in Vegas (leaving the next day), the fast food restaurants she’s been to (In-N-Out, Shake Shack). And pretty much any other normal thing you could think of.

    Around 2 my instructor said we were free to do what we wanted so I said, “Let’s go back to the mansion.”

    She texted her friends, and told them where we were going.

    We went back to the mansion, and when I opened the gate, the first thing she did was take a snap chat of the mansion. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t snap chat it too..

    We went outside and laid down on the grass and started hooking up.

    That made her relax and I started to finger her.

    I was fingering her for a while, and then she maneuvered herself so that it was impossible to finger her any more and when my hand slipped out she squirted all over me.

    Amazing.

    We fucked for a while. And she squirted a bunch of times. It was amazing, I’ve never seen anything like it before. We laid on the grass for a while and looked at the sky. This is going to be one hell of a summer.

    “I have to get up early I should call you an Uber.”

    So I got her an Uber back to her Hotel.

    Pretty fun for the official night one.

    Journal July 30th:

    Day two of the 10 day seminar.: XS Marshmello.

    I don’t listen to EDM, but apparently Vegas is the fucking EDM capital of the world. There’s a different DJ every night of the week so it’s basically a concert at the club every night.

    Our goal for the night was to touch and use banter.

    I wasn’t really clear with what I was supposed to be doing. And unlike the night previous where it was very clear “Normal Conversation”, I started to doubt my abilities with the exercise.

    My goals for the night was to approach the first girl I see, so I did.

    Then I talked to the girl after that, and the girl after that and the one after that.

    But I didn’t really get warmed up from that. Then I started to panic a little bit.

    “Fuck I need to be the guy that fucks someone every night.”

    This made me start pressing. I felt like the sex guy, so I had to get laid again.

    I was approaching, but the interactions were shitty, because I felt insincere.

    Not good.

    I spent several hours wandering around talking to people and had a couple GOOD blowouts:

    1. A hot blonde girl with a one piece bikini, walked by me and I stopped her.

    “Hi,” I said “You’re pretty hot. What’s your name?”

    “oh my god, thank you. I’m NAME”

    We talked for a couple minutes about nothing really in particular, and I was consciously trying to touch her and move into her proximity. She didn’t really back away, then she said I have to go to the bathroom.

    “Oh cool, are you going to take a piss or a dump?”

    Her face kind of turned angry, and I started laughing.

    “Um for your information I’m going to take a pee…” she said. “I don’t know why you would ask that?”

    I kind of just shrugged and she walked away. Lol good one.

    2. A stunningly gorgeous blonde girl walks by, she was speed walking but she was so hot I had to talk to her.
    Her head was down, and she didn’t seem to be in a good mood but she was too hot not to approach. So I chased after her and put my arm around her.

    “Hi, I’m Justis…” Before I could ever ask her name she stopped shrugged my arm off of her.

    “Don’t FUCKING touch ME!” she kept walking.

    “Call me?” I yelled as she walked away into the night.

    This was too good not to laugh at.

    My biggest takeways from that night were that:
    1. Me and anyone else on the program aren’t going to get laid every night. (we will however, get laid A LOT.)
    2. If you’re not having fun, shit all is going to happen. The goal is to get laid but going out isn’t all about getting laid and you can’t be dependent on the outcome. Just go and have a good time, bring good emotions and have a blast while working on what you want to work on.
    3. Push yourself. At the end of the night like 3:30, me and two of the other guys were sitting in a cab on one side of XS, and I said we should take an uber instead. That way we’d save money, and get one last walk through on the casino floor to the uber pick up where we’d get a couple more approaches in. So we did. And we got one or two more in and yeah they were shitty approaches but whatever at least we tried.

    Monday July 31- Marque Bungalow night.

    The days are starting to feel long.

    We’ve been together since Thursday, but it feels like months. They say that one day on Rockstar is a week in real life. And holy shit it feels like it.

    One of my friends called me today from my so called “real life” and I can start to feel the disconnect. I don’t know what to think about that. On one hand we’re all exploding with growth and on the other there’s things holding us back.

    It’s a night off tomorrow, so I know we needed to push it as hard as possible tonight.

    Our goal is a lot like the night before, except adding in sexualization. So that was my goal.

    We got to Marquee no problem, but when we walked towards the back of the club to the outside, where we were supposed to have access to our Bungalow we realized the outside was closed…

    That threw a major wrench in our plans, but I knew there was two ways to deal with this, either we could let it ruin our night or we could still have fun and not worry about what could have been.

    I chose option 1.

    I had some decent interactions at the start of the night, but around 2:30 am two British girls walked by an instructor and I. He waved at one of them, and I waved at the other.

    We chatted with them for a while, and then asked them to come back with us to the bungalow.

    We toured around the bungalow which was pretty amazing. An apartment that’s attached to the nightclub... Roof top hot tub, bathroom overlooking Las Vegas BLVD, the whole deal.

    Not hard to imagine how it would be the perfect place to bring girls.

    When we got there, the party was winding down at the bungalow, I brought my girl, Nicole, to check out the hot tub. We sat and talked for a minute soaking in the view of the strip.

    We started making out, and a couple seconds latter we were naked.

    It’s only now that I’m realizing how crazy this is. It’s Monday night, and I just had sex with a girl I met less than an hour before beside a rooftop hot tub in Las Vegas.

    I don’t want this to end.


    Wednesday - August 2 – Surrender

    It really helped having that day off in between. I was feeling rested, before we went out I ran around at the mansion shooting baskets on court at the mansion to burn off some energy.

    By the time we got to the club I was ready to go.

    First bachelor party I see I’m in there. Talking to them, making them laugh and smile. I did this a couple more times, and to see them go from statuesque to huge smile with one sentence was so powerful.

    I ran into a couple alumni and rockstars talking to a group of five or six sorority girls.

    I could tell one of them was GREEN. From the second I introduced myself. Flirtatious banter went back and forth, and she mentioned sports.

    Boom.

    “Let’s go watch ESPN at your hotel.” I said

    I grabbed her by the hand and started walking to the door. She didn’t really say anything until we got to the front door.

    “Wait, I have to find my friends.”

    “OK sure.”

    So we went to find her friends. She talked to her friends and then we left.

    We got in the cab outside the bar, and started driving to the mansion. We got to the mansion, and into the pool. I tried to take her top off, and she didn’t go for it. That’s no problem I’ll try again later.


    “I should check my phone.” She said

    So she gets out of the and checks her phone.

    “I have to go,” she said. “My friends are looking for me.”

    I tried my best to difuse this situation, but after a couple minutes “I have to go. I have to go. I have to go. I have to go.”

    I can’t even get a word in.

    Eventually, I don’t want to hear her say that again. And she leaves.

    I felt like shit. What did I do? How did I fuck this up?

    The only upside was that it wasn’t midnight yet, so I called an uber and went back to the club.


    I felt like crap for like 2.5 minutes, after I walked in but I saw a stunningly attractive blonde, and forgot all about what just happened.

    There were so many women walking around in bikinis at Surrender, it was impossible to be in a bad mood.

    I saw a blonde walk by:

    “Hey you’re pretty hot what’s your name?”

    “Name”

    She in her early twenties, smoking a cigar, and really freaking hot.

    We talked for a couple minutes, she kept really strong eye contact and could keep up with really agrresive sexual conversation.

    But she had the attention span of a gold fish. Another guy walked by, and she gave him an up and down look. And followed after him.

    OK fair enough.

    There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

    Me and another Rockstar were talking by the pool, and I felt someone walk behind me. When there was a pinch on my ass I knew who it was.

    Cigar blonde.

    I followed her and stopped her.

    We talked, and she brought up skinny dipping.

    “We have a pool.”

    “That sounds like fun” she looked at me waiting to invite her over.

    I hesitated, because I just had a girl walk out on me from the pool not even an hour before. SO I bantered with her a little more. And grabbed her by the hand and said let’s go.

    She pulled her hand out of mine, and went to talk to her boss to tell him she was leaving.

    We walked out of the club (I was way better at navigating my way out, because I did it a hour before), hailed a blacked out SUV, haggled the price, and started driving to the mansion.

    The cab ride was where this girl’s crazy side started to show. She talked about how she was going to fuck Justin Beiber (me), she wanted to be Bukkaked, and had gotten hit on by married dudes.


    I kept it inside at the mansion for as long as I could. I pushed her up against the wall,

    “You are so fucking sexy.” And kissed her.

    “I want you to fuck me by the pool.”

    Ok, my fear of having her leave was gone.

    We went outside onto the basketball court. She picked up a ball,

    “If you make this shot I’ll take off my shirt,” I said. “If you miss, you take off yours.”

    “My shirt is attached to my pants though.”

    “Well you’re going to take it off anyway, so might as well now.”

    She missed, but we both got naked.

    Please don’t let this summer ever end.

  11. #11
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    Vegas Diary #1

    Iím a 38-year-old project manager from Germany whoís pretty much never had any exposure to game whatsoever prior to Rockstar. Iíve recently read a few books, but never attended a seminar or boot camp, and didnít even have an attraction forum account before being accepted into Rockstar. I hadnít read any of the previous yearsí blogs, so I came in with little expectations of how exactly things would be. Sometimes itís hard to swallow that literally everyone else has been to boot camps before and seems to be so much farther down the road already, but I guess itís an excellent opportunity to practice focusing on the just the right things (i.e. my own effort and the process) rather than making my life miserable by comparing myself to others.

    The fitness and diet program had been at the same time excruciating and easy. As I had never done anything like it before, it took quite some time for me before everything started falling into place, and Iíve literally spent entire 24h-days of my life trying to figure out a decent meal plan, what supplements to buy and when to eat them, the best food to cook for a day or two in advance when I had to go on business trips, and most importantly how to customize the fitness program in a way that would both push my body as far as possible and not fuck it up completely. Once I settled into a rhythm, eating became the easiest part Ė no matter whether I was on as little as 2,500 or as much as 4,100 calories a day, my body would find a way to make to. Interesting observation though that now that I am eating less clean than during those 12 weeks, my digestive system seems more stable for itÖ

    Fitness turned out to be more about mental than physical progress for me. Got a pair of rock-hard abs and some more definition to my entire body, but other than that I feel fairly untransformed when it comes to my body. I ran into major health issues while training and had to constantly keep modifying the program to what my body could withstand or pause altogether for days or weeks. That was extremely hard to take in the beginning as it seemed everyone else was making great progress but me. About 5 weeks into the fitness transformation something clicked in my head though and I started understanding that I was setting myself the wrong goals. What was the use of me trying to become a muscular hulk? It should way more be about hitting Vegas fit and lean, but most of all happy and energetic. Taking that mental shift and judging my progress against that goal lead to a quite notable rise in my happiness.

    The last days before Vegas were marked by notable anxiety, mixed with excitement. I was amped to finally get this big adventure started, but also all my fears about not being good enough popped up their heads again. So I came into Vegas with mixed feelings, and itís been a rollercoaster ever since. We never seem to get enough sleep, thereís a constant backlog of things you want to do and every day itís a tradeoff between finding time to go to the gym, blogging, bonding with the boys, getting back in touch with the friends at home, doing paperwork that needs to be done, finding time to reflect and set new goals, do some mental exercisesÖ we seem to spend most of the day running from A to B or in full concentration at seminar or nighttime venues.

    It was great to finally have our first off night yesterday and have some time to get to know the guys better, as so far it seems most of the time there just seems to be time for a fist bump in the hall way or a short banter between two interactions at the club as we all are so busy and focused. About to sit together and decide on our road trip locations Ė thatís gonna be an exciting periodÖ

    Classes have been fairly astonishing so far. As I said, I hadnít read any of the prior yearís journals, so I came in with a completely blank slate. Classes are extremely deep and often touch very broad concepts of communication, framing and masculinity, so the focus is a lot more on deep personal development in a very wide sense, which I love. Itís sometimes frustrating though that all those fairly abstract concepts make so much sense and then I get the feeling that I am left to figure out how to put that into practice on my own, as the curriculum is for the bigger part devoid of any concrete things to say.

    Nights out have been up and down, too. The clubs are pretty awesome venues, but the music is often so much different from what they would play in European clubs that it takes some getting used to for me, as I have always gone clubbing almost exclusively for enjoying the music. And this whole concept of tables and bottle service and everything surrounding itÖ everyone else seems so comfortable with it, but for me itís a whole different world that it takes time settling into and realizing that I got the same right as everyone else to be part of this and donít have to be a millionaire or Hollywood starÖ

    Maybe the biggest takeaway from the nights out so far is stick to the process, judge yourself solely by your own effort and make yourself responsible for your own state. The night I said ďscrew it, I donít give a fuck what others may think of meĒ, just got down to the floor and did a few push-ups poolside to pump myself up was the best one, as I not only management to up my own mood but also instantly connected with a few strangers who liked the vibe of energy and confidence I was exuding, and I ended up having a great conversation with a bride-to-be for almost an hour and motorboating a bunch of girls. The night where I didnít manage to get myself into state but rather lost myself in my own thoughts and ended up judging myself for not performing as good as the other guys turned out to be pretty hard to swallowÖ but then again, even that night I pushed myself into more interactions Ė short as they may often have been Ė than I have in most years of my life. Itís been a rough ride up to here, but Iíll keep pushing.

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    Vegas Diary #2

    Vegas #2
    Tuesday, off-night with the boys. First time we really had a space to all get together and just socialize. Other than that, the schedule is very demanding, we are constantly running from A to B and always up against the next deadline. So I cherished the opportunity to get to know a few of the guys better over an awesome hamburger cheat mealÖ plus, it was my birthday, so the group surprised me with an awesome cake. Had a few great conversations and enjoyed the atmosphere.

    Yesterday, first night at Surrender. Love the place. The most communicative atmosphere we have seen so far. Even the dancefloor is poolside, and people went wild right from the start. As it was my birthday night out, I took the opportunity to peacock a bit and donned my favorite crazy neon-yellow suit and pink tie. That is the best thing I can do to get myself and keep myself in state, as it makes me smile just to look at myself, and it makes it easier for me to give myself the permission to go all crazy and have fun. Add to that the fact that almost everything seems to want to interact with the man in the suit, and I was in for my greatest night in Vegas so far.

    I used that state to be bolder, to walk up to a lot more girls and groups, do indirect approaches via the guys in mixed groups as well as direct approaches, got physical easily pulling girls in to hug or dance Ė one dance got so wild it ripped my pants open Ė and dared being more outright sexual verbally. It didnít lead to much, but it gave me some good reference experiences on where boundaries are and that I am better at getting back in state after being aggressively pushed out of interactions than I thought I was if I just keep focusing on controlling my own state rather than let circumstances affect me.

    The night ended with a long pool-side chat with one of the instructors on how to handle conflict within our Rockstar group that ended up giving me a new insight into how the qualities I want to show to resolve this kind of conflicts might come in handy in other areas of my life and help me develop my masculine qualities.

  13. #13
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    PR Journal 2

    You never leave an interaction. Well, unless she calls your mother a whore, then you can leave. But until then under no circumstances should you leave. Why? Unless she walks away, she is still interested in talking with you. Over the past week and a half, I have come to realize how many times I have cut interactions short because I believed that I could no longer connect with the girl I was talking to. Itís all in my head! Every interaction, especially with hotter girls, the voice in my head will tell me, ďoh you just messed up, this is it, youíre wasting your time, she doesnít want to talk with you, you havenít been funny enoughÖĒ And itís all bull shit. Some of the best conversations Iíve had were because I stuck around through the awkward pauses, through those moments of doubt. Itís amazing how the mind can try to talk you out of almost anything. Itís one of my favorite things now, to get into those situations where there is an awkward pause, because itís a challenge. My head is telling me one thing, so Iím going to rage against it and try to prove it wrong.

    Women love sex. But there is a stigma against girls that are too easy. This girl I used to date describes it great, ďevery woman starts out with a pot of gold, every time she has sex with a new guy she loses a piece of that gold.Ē Which is to say when eventually she meets her husband, the more times she has had sex the less gold she has. I was brought up very religious, and I felt the same way in the past. I personally had no problem with girls having sex, as long as it wasnít one I was dating. Then I wanted a girl with the lowest count possible. Itís the cultural double standard. Guys want to bang as many girls as possible, but girls should not. I hooked up with a girl, she had never had a one night stand before. After we hooked up she told me that this was exactly what she needed. Even then she still said sheíd never do that again. Thatís when it hit me, sex is something very healthy and necessary for people to move through their life. Until I had this experience it never really hit home that there is a judgment, not from just the outside but also from the inside on having sex with people, and it holds both men and women back from living a life that they truly want. If I can take one thing away from this experience, itís that I need to be authentic and nonjudgmental. By leading the way I open up the door for other people to be who they really want to be.

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    Thursday August 3rd.

    Holy shit I’m so grateful we have a night off tonight.

    Today in seminar I got my first bit of feed back from the night before, and with that my ego chopped down to appropriate size.

    Standing on the patio of the cosmo one of the instructors came outside

    “Did you take a girl home last night?”

    I nodded and smiled. Ready to be congratulated.

    “Why the hell were you leading her out of the club like a little bitch?” (Ok he wasn’t that harsh, but that’s what I heard.)

    We had just spent the previous day learning about leading a girl out of the club confidently. And while she still came home and had sex with me I still could have led her more confidently.

    Now, in the moment this was hard for my ego to hear.

    I took home two girls the night before, and slept with one of them. My ego wanted to see that as a success but at the same time I could have slept with both if I changed a couple things…

    These are good problems to have. and I’m grateful I was able to take so many lessons out of the course.

    As for the seminar, we are continuing to dive deeper into Inner Game, and there were so many stories going on inside my own head that if we had gone out tonight I don’t know what I would have done.

    The group of us went out for dinner after the seminar, which was awesome for bonding and unwinding. These are long intense days.

    I had considered not going out to that dinner, because I wanted to unpack the stories I had been telling myself my whole life. But at the same time I wanted to be involved in the group.

    I made the right choice and went to dinner, because I found out we were all having similar thoughts.

    Friday August 4th – XS

    More inner game today. It’s fucking deep.

    To look at the stories we are all telling each other and how they have crafted our lives should be a required practice, but not everyone does it. And most don’t have a clue they exist.

    It’s getting harder to unpack all this mental stuff, and shut it off when we are going out at night. But I feel like I’m getting better at dealing with it.

    My outter and inner game is getting better with everyday on this program.

    The night out itself was what I would call unsuccessful until around 2 AM.

    A Rockstar and myself started talking to two girls, who were just walking by.

    “Where are you going?”

    “We’re not sure.” The girls said.

    I held her by the hand and led her out of the club and into the hotel lobby.

    “let’s go to the mansion and have an after party.”

    We hesitated for a split second, that’s all it took before these girls were gone.

    It’s all good. It’s still decently early, let’s go back inside.

    But as we said that, two tall skinny girls walk by. We stop them and start up again. They were leaving XS, and not sure where they wanted to go next.

    “We’re having an after party at the mansion.” I said, and held her hand and led her out of the club and into the taxi line. Frome there, everything went according to plan until we got to the mansion.

    They saw the pool table and gravitated towards that like bugs to a light. And for some reason I didn’t stop them. Once we started playing pool, all the tension died. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion.

    Over the next 30-40 minutes I tried everything I could to ratchet the tension back up, but it didn’t seem to work. And they left.

    While I implemented one of the lessons from Wednesday (leading a girl out of the club confidently), I still was kicking myself this morning because I know there was an opportunity there. And I felt like I made the same mistake two nights in a row, by not ratcheting up the tension.

    Lesson learned.
    The beauty of Rockstar is that I get another chance to work on it tonight when we go out.

    Saturday August 5, 2017- XS

    The last three days have been all about Inner Game. And there’s three words that keep entering my head.

    EGO. Stories. Rackets.

    These three words make it much much harder for me to close my laptop when seminar ends and shut everything off and go out and talk to people. But it’s a catch 22, because it’s necessary to unwind and de stress.

    We’ve each taken a hard look at ourselves in the mirror the last couple of days and we are seeing how the stories we have told ourselves had impacted our lives.

    But we’re also seeing how they have impacted us positively and how we have used them to our advantage.

    Powerful stuff.

    This type of stuff goes far beyond approaching a woman. But it’s also the type of stuff that directly affects why and how you do/don’t approach a woman.

    It’s heavy shit.

    After four days of it I’m starting to see how it’s impacted my life both negatively and positively. I think that by cleaning this stuff out I am going to see improvements that are necessary.

    There is a LONG way to go, but I know that as my inner game closet gets cleaner over the next couple of weeks, that’s where I’m going to see the major leaps in improvement. Not just with women, but in my LIFE.

    -Justis.

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    Days 7-9

    All the days are starting to blend into one. We went to a pool party, without knowing it was a pool party (so some of the guys were in suits, which was kind of funny, they still killed it though). I really worked hard tonight on slowing down and fixing my bad body language habits, but I also found without pumping myself up and being the fun banterous guy, I easily slip into not being nearly as fun and having as much to talk about. This night was also interesting, because the girls had been hit on all night by all sorts of weird people. So I quickly got really good at adjusting to that and not coming on as strong, being a chill guy and making people laugh. It was cool to see this go down well with one of the hottest girls there that night, towards the end, they were leaving and pretty guarded, but just being chill and noticing what was up, I slowly started to see cracks and she opened up and was a cool person too.

    The next night out was interesting. Where I’d normally approach a lot and bounce around between talking to a lot of different groups of people, tonight was different. I worked on the same things again, and was in a similar space of losing a lot of banter I normally have. I had two fun conversations warming up, and then the rest of the night was between two interactions. The first was difficult, but I learned to run the interaction and worked on just having fun. The second was great with a gorgeous blonde and her friend. I was hanging with one of the instructors, and I really saw how he would run the whole experience for the girls; he’d be hanging with one, come back to all four of us and have some fun, then back to one on one. Any problem that came up, he handled it. They wanted to dance? He took them dancing. It was about being the guy leading the interaction and taking charge of their experience. We headed back to his hotel for a bit of an after party, where the blonde and I got a bit naked on the balcony and hooked up a bit inside. The view was incredible. We had a great connection but didn’t end up having sex. The connection was strong, but I don’t think I had showed her enough of my views on non-judgement to have sex that night.

    My thoughts have been turning somewhat to what I’m going to do after the program. I know it’s still early days, but before I left home to come here, for months I was already mentally checked out of that life I was living. I was so undecided and on the fence to whether I quit my job, go part time, but about two weeks before the program I’d made up my mind it was basically a necessity that I had to quit for my own happiness. Being here has made that decision so much easier too, seeing what’s possible when you’re not restrained by named days and the 9-5.

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    Day 10 – 11

    The past few days we have been talking a lot about inner game. This is the powerful stuff, and most of why I came on this program from a personal development perspective. There are so many successful people here as fellow Rockstars, but are still unfulfilled and unhappy with their lives. Some of them have made millions upon millions of dollars, and will be the first to tell you nothing changes apart from the first two weeks or so of elation post a big sale. So this inner game stuff has been pretty impactful for everyone. We began by digging into the stories we have told ourselves since we were kids, and saw how those stories have unconsciously driven our lives since then. In many cases we see these stories as negatives: I’m worthless, I’m not attractive, I can’t be myself etc, but in many ways they have driven us to become who we are today. One of the wealthy guys was so driven by being bullied as a kid that he’s now ‘rich as fuck’ as the instructors made him finally realise and shout. It was a cool moment, seeing the realisation of how the pain had driven his life, but also how he can now wash away that story and still be the same guy, just without the pain and negative self worth.

    A cool concept is that humans live in three states; the past, the present, and the future. Gaining resolution on the fact that the future doesn’t exist, as it’s simply a projection from our minds and we make it up, is exactly like that past in that it doesn’t exist, our mind is making it up based on events that happened, and our mind prescribes stories and meaning to events.

    In the following days we talked about some powerful stuff on changing our inner dialogue, and the actual techniques to practice mental fitness. The idea is to gear your brain into feeling great all the time, and it isn’t like a manual you can read and then know it; it’s more like going to the gym. In the first day, you’re not going to life the heaviest weights for a lot of reps, but with practice you’ll get there. A big part of this is realising any event in life is inherently meaningless. Pondering that is a pretty scary yet powerful thought. If any event, no matter what it is, is meaningless, then we have the power in our minds to prescribe whatever meaning we want to it. Is losing your job a bad thing? Is winning a million dollars a good thing? One of the best answers I heard was ‘we’ll see’, and it made me think about the Steve Jobs quote about only being able to connect the dots in retrospect. So, if this is the case, we can therefore work (key word, work) on changing our dialogue to frame events with empowering stories. We also talked about changing your mental state, through focus, physiology, an the language we use (coupled with gratitude and the things we can control). Amazing stuff.

    I had one of my best nights out on day 10. The past two nights of slow progress and practicing nailing my body language paid off in spades. I was able to be the cool calm solid guy, but also brought a lot of fun and gave a lot of good emotions. It felt like the lessons of the past 10 days had all come together for the night; I was having good conversations, spiking sexualisation, having a lot of fun, getting to know people on a deeper level, being genuine, being authentic, and overall giving people around me the experience they were after that night. Some women wanted to go deep and warm, and some wanted the fun/banter/passionate. At one point early in the night I met a cute girl and after about 10-15 minutes she really wanted more, so we headed for the casino bathroom. It was a big lesson in leading. I was slipping the bouncer some cash to use the staff bathroom when his boss walked over so we bailed, and slipped into an unused cabana. A few minutes of passion later the bouncer and his boss busted in and told us to leave. A bit of fun all round.

    I had a lot of other good interactions that night and learned a lot about just being myself, being forward and comfortable in my own skin. Later in the night, I was inside the club and started talking to two cute Asian girls. We quickly were onto the topic of having a threesome, but being her birthday she wanted to try something new. So I called one of the coaches over who I know loves Asian girls, and a few minutes later we were leaving. We headed back to their hotel room and gave them a great group experience. By being completely comfortable being the guys these girls were looking for, having absolutely no judgement and complete confidence in stepping up, they felt completely open to explore their fantasy’s. This kind of stuff has been a big mental shift for me over the last few days. The next night out was great too, continuing to work on bringing it all together. More banter please!

    We thankfully have a day off, so I’m using it to sleep and catch up on errands and personal admin before Bungalow Monday tonight!

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    Vegas Diary #4

    Thursday, off-night number 2Ö relaxed cheat-meal dinner with the boys. If all off-nights turn out to be cheat meals itís gonna be hard to keep in shape, given the fact that I just canít find the time to hit the gym as often as Iíd likeÖ just too many things to do and think about. Off nights are great for bonding, though. Group cohesion has markedly increased over the last few days, which really has upped the energy level and helps everyone get in state before going out.

    Seminar has also helped. The last 2 days were devoted to inner game, straying far from any traditional ďgameĒ aspects and foraying deep into the stories we have made up around fairly insignificant events in our past to give meaning to our lives Ė often very negative meaning that keeps us from achieving true fulfilment, fully becoming our authentic selves and connecting with the people around us. That changed the atmosphere a lot for the better, as whenever friction comes up we now all have the tendency to look inward first and double-check if weíre not making up a story and passing judgement instead of taking the mere facts for what they are.

    Friday night, XS again. Had a table again poolside, but barely used it as at some point around midnight it started raining. So most people tried to flee inside and some literally spent hours queuing in the rain to get insideÖ I loved it, as it made it all the way easier to start a conversation with the people that had stayed outside. And as usual when Iíve had a rough seminar day, the night turned out to be one of being in a pretty great state almost constantly. Didnít really set myself any goals other than just going out there, approaching, having fun and catching myself whenever I was about to lose myself in thoughts. And putting on some of my more lavish clothes always helps me feel good about myself, too Ė no matter what our fashion coach thinks about it 😊 Didnít get many longer conversations going early on, but ended up hitting it pretty well with half a bachelorette party and being hit on and complimented by almost half a dozen of them. Looking back I see now that I busted my chances of the night even better by going all in too early before I had created enough comfort, but had a few ďfirst onesĒ experiences for this trip. I feel like I still donít know what the fuck Iím doing, but somehow it starts to become a little bit more naturalÖ trust the process, as they keep repeatingÖ
    Saturday night, XS again. Itís kinda hard to even keep track of which night is which, because XS has become so much of my living room already that all the bathroom stuff fist-bumps me every time I get in thereÖ The night was kinda epic in more than 1 respect. Switched instructors and received pretty clear instructions: ďHands down, relaxed posture, easy conversation.Ē That kinda took the pressure down. So after a few conversations to get going, I saw one of my friends talking to 4 Asian girls and went in there to support him. The group was pretty rambunctious at first, with the girls running around to find the rest of the larger group, but I focused on talking to the same girl the whole time and after some running around and chatting realized that we had been isolated for easily 15 minutes already. Took her over to some couches and had a great conversation with her for hours. She put up quite a few obstacles (like ďus 4 girls took a vow to end up in our hotel room together tonightĒ), so I just followed instructions and focused on remaining calm with a few subcoms in between and sharing my stories and values with her. She was pretty resistant physically, but eventually I led the way out the club for a drink. I realized I had no clue about logistics, but took it as a great learning opportunity (ďOh, that bar is closed? Well, letís go to the other one closer to your hotelĒ). That game continued for a while and eventually she invited me to her room but refused to get physical. Very little time ago a girl telling me ďWe had a great night and I trust you but I wonít sleep with youĒ would have completely iced me. This time my reply ďSo what, Iím still gonna kiss youĒ broke the tension. Unfortunately, 2 minutes later her phone rang and her friends called to say they were coming home early, but my remaining calm lead her to tell them she wasnít at the hotel yet and rush me to the fire escape. She was torn between her desire and her anxieties, but my newfound calm and gentle insistence led her to having a new experience she hadnít had before, and it all ended in a heap of tension-releasing laughter. The fact that since she keeps messaging me tells me that the instructors are indeed right that girls actually want us to make experiences happen for them. Another big learning of that night for me was that I donít have to put on a show and clown around or be overtly sexual all the time to be attractive, but can just show my personality and be attractive that way.

    The moment I exited her hotel I look at my phone and read that a few of the boys were having a party at another hotel close by and one of them wanted to tag out and was asking for a subÖ so I jumped into the next cab and started the second half of the nightÖ another great experience and a few new Eskimo brothers. The biggest take-away from that second half of the night was that girls really do enjoy sex even more than boys and that group sex does not need to have anything to do with abusing girls or taking advantage of them, but can instead be a great gift to them, as proven by the many thank you messages we received afterwards. Awesome night with tons of learnings on both ends of the spectrum.

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    Thursday Aug 3rd Entry:

    Yesterdayís seminar was about same night lays. (SNL) We learned how to create a ďJudgement Free ZoneĒ to convey our progressive views about sex. This is to ensure that she wonít feel judged or made to feel like a slut. We talked about how to create a ďbubbleĒ to pull her into your world. We learned how to paint a picture for her of what sex with you would be like. If she feels that she wonít be judged, and that the sex will be good with you, she is very likely to have sex with you. We also learned how to successfully navigate logistics. All of these things came in handy quite early in the evening last night.

    Night out Wednesday Surrender (Encore) Night Swim (Instructor Justin C.)

    I didnít get the memo that it was a night swim. I was super-over-dressed in a black button down, black pants and a white jacket. I didnít give a fuck. I looked great and was determined to have fun no matter what, and I did. About an hour into the night, I find myself locked in with this sexy voluptuous blonde from Croatia. I was getting turned on about 30 seconds into our interaction. I grabbed a handful of her hair at the top of her neck. I pulled her in close and said, ďYouíre so fucking sexy! Feel how much you are turning me on right now!Ē I looked her deep in the eyes and put her hand on my throbbing cock. She made cooing and purring noises as she rubbed and squeezed it through my pants.

    About 2 minutes later, the sexual tension was so high that I just grabbed her hand and started walking for the exit without saying a word. We made it nearly to the door before she asked where we were going. I said, ďsomewhere quiet where we can be aloneĒ. She said, ďokĒ as we breezed through the exit. I wish the story had a better ending, but I blew it. Somehow, I let the sexual tension die down as I was trying to work through the logistics of getting her to come home with me. Instead of continuing to boldly lead her as I had done coming out of the club, I got a bit distracted in my mind. Take a cab? Take the car? Go to her place? Go to my place?) I got a bit turned around in the casino, and then the moment had passed. Bummer.

    Even though I wasnít able to ďclose the dealĒ, I find myself wondering what the me of 2 years ago would think of that interaction if I were witness to it. I donít even know if I would have believed that was possible to lead a girl out of a club within 5 minutes of meeting her. I wonder what some of the people around us were thinking. To the uninitiated, this might seem crazy. Itís beginning to feel quite normal. I canít wait to fully realize all the possibilities. I want to go all the way down the rabbit hole.

    Friday Aug 4th Entry:

    Yesterday in seminar we had debrief. I mentioned the above interaction. We talked about what went well, what went not so well, what could be done differently next time.

    We began working on ďInner GameĒ. We discussed the concept of ďRacketsĒ or the stories we have created about ourselves that define us, and impact our lives in potentially-limiting and negative ways. Here is a racket: 1. What Happened? 2. What is the story we have been telling ourselves about it? 3. What has that story cost us? 4. What could we create in our lives if we were to unravel the story?

    Last night was a night off. We all went to a casual, relaxing dinner. We got to know each other a bit more, and discussed travel plans for our break coming up in 3 weeks.

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    Saturday Aug 5

    Yesterday in seminar, we continued inner game. We shared some of the stories we have created for ourselves and began to unravel them. More to come later about that.

    Night out Friday Aug 4 Encore XS:

    What a night. Jumped into a few interactions early right from the start. I felt my energy to be a bit flat, but I was having fun and wasn’t too worried about it. A Rockstar alum was talking to two girls from Seattle standing near the table. I said hello and began talking to one of them. (We’ll call her Ivanna) About 2 minutes in, I asked how many girls in their group have gotten laid since they’ve been in Vegas. She said, “Three that I know of”. It started to rain, and the four of us moved inside.

    I oscillated a bit between normal and fun & flirty, but it was quite slow going. Somehow, she mentioned the subject of monogamy. I told her that I didn’t believe in it. She told me the same. Now I had something to dig into. I told her of a relationship I had where sometimes we would bring other people into our bedroom, sometimes another woman, but more often, another man. I told her how much I loved seeing my girlfriend crazy with the ecstasy that a woman gets when she is being wildly fucked by two guys.
    She said, “Wow, I’ve never met a man so secure in his masculinity. You must have a huge cock.” “Play your cards right, and you might just get to find out”, I replied.
    Now things were getting a bit more interesting. I asked her if she had ever had a 3 way. She said yes, but only with another girl. None of her previous boyfriends would ever agree to give her the experience of being with two men. “Insecure boys, rather than real men”, I told her. She agreed wholeheartedly. I mentioned to her that my buddy and I were actually able to give that experience to a girl I was seeing in Taipei a few months ago. I could see the wheels turning in her mind as she said, “Really.”

    There was quite a playful vibe between the two girls. I asked Ivanna, “Have the two of you ever hooked up with each other?” “No, not yet.”, she replied. I like this girl. She’s spunky, this one.

    We move to the dance floor, and the girls see the rest of their friends. Rough seas ahead. She introduces us to them and we all chat a bit. It starts to rain again, so I mention to Ivanna about going back to the Cosmopolitan to hang for awhile. She asks if she can bring her friends. I tell her, “How about just the four of us”. She hesitates. “Ok, why don’t we make it just the three of us.”, I told her. “I’d be down for that”, she said. Now, on to logistics.

    Her 6 friends standing behind us were quite sure that this was just a scam to get her into some kind of human trafficking scheme. She knew better. She flat out told them, “I wanna go fuck these two guys. This has been my fantasy for a long time. Please do not fuck this up for me!” It took about 5 minutes for her to convince them that it was safe. As soon as it was sorted out, I grabbed her hand, he grabbed the other and off we went. As we walked out of the club, she held our hands up for a moment, saying to all, “Yes, I’m leaving to go fuck both of these guys” Such a good girl.

    We hopped into a cab, and sat her between us for the ride. The three of us hold hands from the cab through the lobby. Two girls stared at her as we are waiting for the elevator. “Just ask if you are so curious”, she challenges them. I love her bold spirit.

    It was a fantastic experience for all three of us. I’m sure none of us will ever forget it. I’m sure that we have spoiled her for the “boys” she used to date. Her life will never be the same. I feel very grateful and humble that I was able to give that to her. With great power comes great responsibility. I feel that I am responsible to give as many amazing experiences to people as I possible can. I shall do my very best.

    Sunday Aug 6th:

    Night out Saturday XS (Chain Smokers) No Table (Instructor Jasper)

    My energy was low. I am struggling lately to find things to say to keep the conversation going.

    I saw this cutie checking me out, and I went over to approach. She spoke very little english, and I speak very little spanish. I said a few phrases, smiled and looked into her eyes a lot.

    An alumni and I took these two Mexican girls back to his place. It was a lot of work to get them to leave the club.

    Once we got back to his place, it took a lot of work on the balcony to help her through her resistance. But I was able to finally break through. She was a very happy girl.

    Monday Aug 7th:

    Yesterday in seminar, we continued working on inner game. This goes way deeper for me than I realized. My mind is a muscle that I neglected for many years. I am beginning to do some heavier lifting in that department. For a few months now, I write for a few minutes most every morning about the things that I am grateful for.

    Night Out Sunday Aug 6th. XS Night Swim No Table. (Instructor Jasper)

    The night got off to a very rocky start. I had a situation early in the night where one of the alumni blatantly “snaked” a girl from me while I was talking to her. I was fuming afterwards. I spoke to several of the instructors about it. Apparently, this person has quite a reputation for doing these types of things. I was assured that the situation would be handled. I was so pissed off about it. I was on the verge of having my entire night ruined by it if I had allowed it. Instead, I drank a bunch of water and went into a bathroom stall to take a piss and do some deep breathing exercises. I was able to do a re-set and get my state back pretty quickly. Had some pretty good interactions for awhile. Then, the place seemed to be completely overrun by these RSD guys. They have a very creepy vibe about them. The energy felt very strange in the club last night. Jasper and I circled back to these two Mexican girls we met earlier. It didn’t take long before we pulled them from the club and took them back to his room at the Cosmopolitan. The girl I was with actually ended up getting pretty sick after sex so we tended to her and let her rest a while before getting a taxi for them and calling it a night.

  20. #20
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    Vegas Diary #4

    Jeez, time seems to run so fast itís hard to keep track of everything thatís happeningÖ Storytime was fucking epic yesterday. Awesome to see how guys start to come to terms with their new me and move from places of pain to a path of accelerated growth, and how natural sexuality suddenly becomes. Nothing to be ashamed of or take to serious, but something to talk about openly, be honest about and plain enjoy and share in a fun way.

    Had a great exercise about body language yesterday in class. Fucking mind-blowing how much your mental state changes if you just change your postureÖ and energy is contagious. If you allow yourself to jump and wiggle and scream and shout, others will fall into place, as the body loosens up so will the mind and the energy becomes contagious. Nothing you havenít ever heard before, but delivered in a very condensed way.

    Hard a bit of a rougher night yesterday. 2.5h of sleep the night before just is too little to have your banter clicking on all cylindersÖ but it was awesome to see how well I managed to not kick myself too much for not approaching more often and how well I found a balance between pushing myself into interactions and enjoying the music to steady and improve my state. And despite me joining the pedestrian club at times I realized at the end of the night that a few of the girls I had talked to had actually been pretty damn attractive. Unfortunately, the one I left the club with turned out to be a bit too tipsy and started slipping into some state of panic, so damn good I was completely sober and finally could talk some sense into her, call her friend on her phone and find out where to safely bring her. Not the end of the night I had been looking for, but another great experience to build confidence that I can remain authentic and master any situation that comes up. And once she regained her cool, she thanked me for having been such a gentleman.

    Monday night, back to Marquee. Too bad they had the outdoor area closed again, but good for learning, as I feel a lot less comfortable approaching in overcrowded loud spaces than poolside. Extra challenge of the night was to approach girls without asking a single question in the first 2 minutes. That challenge completely shut down my brain for about 5 minutes and I was literally unable to find a single word to say, and it definitely upped my approach anxiety by more than just 1 level. But then I told myself that just because I hated this challenge so much meant that it was a great learning opportunity for myself. And with that mindset ended up having quite a lot of fun in conversations. And it altered my perception of what I can do and how I can get girls sexually attracted to me, as in one of the earlier conversation I just blabbered random nonsense to one girl and less than 5 minutes later had one of her friends on the brink of coming with me to the bungalowÖ It was really hard to overcome my approach anxiety every single time, but most of the interactions went a hell of a lot better than I had expected them to go, given the fact that I was essentially throwing random bullshit at them. And I once again realized how important a wingman is to me, as the biggest hurdle for me still is the very opening sentence. Anyway, blabbering bullshit about fashion to a girl at the bar after my friend approached them opened up a nice conversation, and when I wanted to move her to a quieter area of the club her friends (m+f) wanted to come along, so I took all of them along and just made sure everyone had a fun time, talked in private with the guy to make sure I wasnít interfering with something, had to pull a few tricks to isolate the girl and had a rather smooth sailing from there onÖ and chatting with her on the balcony of her suite afterwards I found out that she had many interesting things to say, and tonight I am invited to her bosses birthday partyÖ I still donít have much of an idea what the hell I am doing, but my results are certainly up, as is my trust in the process. And I seem to be finding a better balance between arousing girls and having deep conversations with them every day. I think with every bit that I am opening up to myself I am opening up to others and especially girls as wellÖ Looking forward to the next part of the journey!

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    Update 2

    Wednesday Night

    After another full day of group seminar sessions we are back out on the town in vegas. A month in vegas is a super long time, often a conversation starter itself if a girl asks the usual question " When are you leaving". Staying sober is one of the reasons this program works so well, firstly a month of being drunk every night would be super taxing on everyones body and mind. Secondly the clarity to analyse your performance and improve your social skills is best done sober.

    Tonight we hit the club surrender. At the start of the night we get a message that the headline DJ marshmellow has cancelled. I've noticed the crowd at clubs is super dependant on the DJ act. The mega clubs pay mega $$ for the hottest DJs at a point in time and the crowds flock. I'm not into EDM that much so the music side isn't a big deal. In anycase there was more girls at Surrender than I approached so no problem with abundance.

    There wasn't a lot of notable interactions tonight, my state never really hit rock bottom low, rather it was just "average" and most of my interactions with girl were average / boring. Looking back I probably go back to boring interview type conversation as a safety net. I did use some banter, a limited amount of sexualation, moving the girls - but none of these were in the volumes or energy required to be succesful.

    Right at the end of the night I had a good learning interaction. Two coloured girls from Miami were outside the club, obviously my hooker radar is on full alert, they didn't have high heels on, but I wasn't sure if they were or not. I was attracted to one, and approached - I engaged both of them and clearly stated my intention that I was into one of the girls. The subcomms and sexual talk started quickly and she responded really well.

    I screened to see if she was working whilst an instructor winged the other one. She was really confused when I asked about work, and we had a quick conversation about hookers approaching guys in vegas. After this and later speaking with the instructor i'm 98% sure they weren't hookers.

    I grabbed her closer and she mentioned she could feel me being aroused. I told her she liked it and her body language and verbal communication confirmed she was melting in front of me. There was logistics issues because she had promised to hang out with other friends - apparently a group of guys and girls. I tried pushing through this, suggested alternatives. The interaction started to lose heat at this stage. I didn't osocalate turning the sexual tension on and off. An instructor noted that I was doing "pigeon" steps into the girl as she took half a step away from me.

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    Update 3

    Thursday night we had a night off and we held a team dinner which was great bonding for the team.

    Friday night was XS and overall the night went well, I felt small improvements in all areas. This was refreshing because the previous night I didn't feel the progress, in fact in many areas it felt like I had gone backwards a little. Tonight the growth was incrementally better across all areas of my social interactions. This ties in well with what the instructions say about 2 steps forward 1 step back. I got a bunch of phone numbers on this night and I'm realizing that phone numbers from girls in the club are 9 times out of ten worthless. There is simply too much stimulus in Vegas clubs. I've had girls 600% promise they are going to text back or call and interaction finishes on a super high, 3 hours later they have meet 20 other guys and forgotten about you. In the moment they believe you are both going to keep in contact but 1 hour is like 2 months in the real world. If you don't contact a girl for 2 months in regular life, often the girl has moved in the meantime.

    Saturday was the 6 month anniversary of my brothers death and I was emotional. Instead of keeping to myself and hiding in my room crying, I went to the common area of the house and shared what I was going through with the other guys. Sharing the heavy load with such an awesome group of supportive people made the day so much better.

    Saturday night was chainsmokers at XS. I was excited to see this band / DJ. I had heard some of their music on the radio and loved it. Tonight I had a lot less interactions but a couple went super long. I got a lot of lessons from these two interactions. Both of them I sexualised the conversation early and oscillated from going deep to sexual, to normal. Both girls were in groups and it was tough to get them isolated from their girls for any extended amount of time.

    Late in the night I got an invite to join a group sex session at a hotel room with a couple girls and a few guys. I was apprehensive, I've never been in a situation where another guy was involved in a sexual encounter. There was other thoughts in my mind too, I definitely didn't want to feel like us males were taking advantage of girls. Also I didn't want to feel inadequate when sexual performing along side other guys. Once I attended the room, all doubts were erased. The entire encounter was very much focused on the girls wishes and making sure they had the best experience in a consensual manner. One of the girls mentioned it was the best birthday ever and was super grateful to the guys for providing such a great opportunity to fulfill some of their inner sexual desires. I've never heard girls say thank you so often during and after sex. It was such a eye opening and learning experience for me.

    Sunday we attended XS nightswim. I was still exhausted from the late night before and I noticed my energy levels were lowish. Approaching girls on this night didn't seem as smooth and the interactions largely didn't go as well. Its tough when you have a night where you don't think your making progress. The instructors keep reminding that its normal to feel like its 2 steps forward 1 step back.

  23. #23
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    Rockstar Journal # 3


    Sunday August 6, 2017. XS Night Swim

    I feel about a year older than when I started Rockstar, which was 12 days ago? How is that possible?

    I’ve looked around over the last couple days, and while I haven’t been having as much success with women, I’m feeling pretty humbled and grateful to be living in a house with these guys, and that I’m constantly surrounded by friends and mentors.

    For me, since we started discussing Inner Game on Thursday the nights out haven’t really been about getting laid. It’s about finding out who I am, and why I do the things that I do.

    And through some of the exercises we did the last couple nights I now have some amazing tools to use when I’m feeling down on myself.

    Last night I had a great learning experience and a few different things that had been discussed in seminar “clicked”.

    One of the instructors told me I was talking to girls because I wanted to get something from them. This is natural, and most guys will approach them wanting something from them.

    I know that this is a bad place to come from, but I was still doing it and I didn’t know why. But I don’t want to be like that, so instead I want to GIVE something to every girl I talk to (good emotions, laughter, banter, positive energy ETC).


    Towards the end of the night I adopted the mindset:

    “There’s a hot girl, I should go talk to her because I want to get to know her and see if she’s cool.” Not approaching solely because I want to have sex with her, which is the place I was coming from previously.

    So with the adaptation of this mindset, and the instructor pushing me towards girls that I would have classified as “too hot” I started having better interactions with hotter girls.

    Next I realized that I’ve been trying to force open the thresholds of every interaction as wide as possible. Instead I want to start recognizing how open the thresholds are, and then act accordingly.

    Getting this feedback from the instructors was valuable because it will help my interactions with women, but it also helped me realize I had been creating a big story in my head that was holding me back.

    The story was that if I fail at some endeavor it means “I fucked up,” and that an instructor or a superior will scold me for not being perfect.

    So I have been trying to be perfect to try and avoid that.

    This has held me back throughout my entire life in that I haven’t taken the risks I wanted to take in order to do what I wanted to do, because I was worried I’d get told off for failing. I played it safe and took the path I was most confident I could succeed in.

    But this story has also helped me, in that I work really hard to do things the “correct” way or the instructed way. So if I get feedback I’ll implement it immediately because I want to do things right and keep my superior happy.

    I can see myself taking lessons from each night out and progressing a little bit every time we go out.

    Plus tomorrow is one of my favorite nights out, Bungalow night 2 @ Mar Key.

    Monday August 7th Bungalow Marquee.

    I’ve been working on a lot of mental blocks over the last couple days, but when I get over them I know there will be an explosion of results.

    I woke up this morning doubting myself and my abilities.

    I’ve been working on a lot of things over the last couples days, and I’ve learned a shit load. My instructor gave me some feedback that I was able to implement bit by bit, and eventually I think it all paid off.

    My instructor had been telling me to approach the girls that are hot. And especially the ones that are too hot not to approach.

    And I do every time. Usually I’ll get blown out, but those ones don’t hurt because it’s a win just for trying.

    “You feel that?” He motioned towards his heart. “That’s the feeling you want. That’s why we do this.”

    He’s right. That’s why I do this, It’s fucking powerful. It’s a good metaphore too, because when we take the biggest risks is when we see the most growth.


    He also taught me that I was coming from a place of wanting something from a girl when I talk to her.

    I know this is bad, but I didn’t realize I was doing it until he pointed it out.

    My goals going into Monday night at Marquee were:

    1. Approach the girls that make your heart pump with the mentality of “I’m a cool guy, let’s see if this hot girl is also fun.”
    2. Lead Confidently.
    3. Create a boyfriend girlfriend bubble

    I had already approached a couple of the heart stopping types early in the night. But I saw one from across the entrance look at me for just a second longer than normal so I went to talk to her.

    “You can’t stare at me like that.”

    “I didn’t stare. I just…. Glanced.”

    Ok now we’re playing conversational tennis. I lead her around the club, hold her, building tension, and having a blend of normal, fun and deep conversations. The combination of all of these things created the “bubble” of a boyfriend and girlfriend.

    So when we got back to the bungalow around 4 AM, and we we’re by the hot tub overlooking the strip, our clothes just fell off…

    Now I realized a few lessons in this:

    • Approaching the hottest girls is FUN and challenging.
    • I need to take risks because that’s when the most rewarding things happen.
    • Lead Confidently. Even if I’m not that confident in what will happen I need to try, fail (maybe) then pick myself back up and do it again.

    Day off tomorrow night I’m going to sleep forever.

  24. #24
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    PR Journal 3

    I know itís only been about 2 weeks since I first stepped out of the plane in Vegas but my expectations are starting to fuck with my head. I have been working on building tension for what feels like a week now(itís been 4 days but still) and I donít feel like I am any farther down the line. A lot of skills just come naturally to me and itís frustrating that this one is not. Internally, I feel like I am being left behind. The instructors stressed that every single day is vitally important to the long term success of the program. In my mind, every day that I donít learn this stuff is a day that I donít progress. I guess this is why itís important during these journals to reflect on the things that I have done and not necessarily the interactions I have had. I do feel like I have been pounding against a wall over and over and over again on this stuff. Letís review. First lesson was tension is tension can be built with proximity and eye contact, in addition to touch. Second lesson was with touch, depending on how much you do it, ie put arm around her and bring her towards you or moving towards her, dictates whether it is going to be more warm or going to be more sexual. Third thing is tension is something you can feel. On one had there is tension that is more like holy shit he is in my space, and then obviously sexual tension where weíre getting turned on. I think that my problem has been that I have not been pushing it far enough. I think the way vici described it was tension is built because there is an element of risk that is running through the interaction. That is what tension is. Sexual tension is obviously thinking about sex but the other tension is building that feeling of being in her space, itís like upping the ante of the interaction to holy shit why is he so close to me. Because if I am building the tension she is comfortable with me being in her space. Iím pushing the boundaries of where our relationship is so that she does get more and more comfortable being with me. Through tension? I donít know if that is at all correct but thatís where my mind is going right now. But itís pushing that feeling that I am intruding on her space to build that tension between us so it doesnít just feel like a friendly we are going to be friends interaction and becomes something that is romantically charged. So tonight will be pushing what I feel comfortable with because... Oh. I need to feel tension. I need to feel uncomfortable with what I am doing because if I donít feel uncomfortable she wonít either? Fuck this is so confusing. I guess thatís why they say we need to up the ante. Sterlingís advice to me was that I was stuck in between arbitrary lines and would not go above them. It's time to push the boundaries and figure this out.

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    Day 12 – 14

    It feels like I’ve been here a year at this point. So much growth in such little time. I’ve got to write a story on how I saw my life before the program, and I’m really struggling to because I can hardly relate to it. That’s how powerful and quick the growth happens here.

    Having a day off was great, well needed; I got to catch up on some sleep (previously had been averaging 4-5 hours), did some washing and went to the gym. We had bungalow Monday again, and again the outdoor area was closed. Bit of a tough night, the club was so packed and its so hard to move around when there’s that many people. Plus it’s dark and ridiculously loud. I had a few good interactions, three in particular that I pushed to the point we were going to go home together or bungalow, and then I opted to say goodnight and keep moving. Met a fun interesting cool woman, but she was fairly judgemental about sex. Over the course of our interaction I could start to see mind being opened by the possibilities that enjoying sex isn’t a bad thing. We had a great time and hung out, but I opted to head home.

    The next night out was great. I’m at a point where I’ve seen myself do nearly all elements of what I need to nail, done well, so now it’s a matter of having enough interactions to get enough experience feeling my way through the process and to practice more and more. It can be frustrating that sometimes I nail a few things, then the next night go to work on others and then have the previous elements slip / not as on point. Discussing it with my coach, it makes sense; for so many years I’ve dug the old trenches in my mind and I’ve just formed new ones, it’s natural to fall back into old ways, but now I’m able to recognise it and change it. I’ve also been thinking a lot about the inner game work we’ve done, and am starting to come to work through all the good and positive gifts I have to bring. I’m very rarely in my head, and more and more I’m finding I can bring the fun and gifts of being around me to the people I interact with. I will work out how I can keep this going. I’m also finding most of my growth is now coming from interactions with the hottest girls. An additional challenge with this right now is that there is so many ‘pickup’ guys in town, I think they’re here for their world conference or something, but there’s just so many running around doing weird shit that it makes it more challenging to talk to all girls let alone the hotter ones. Or maybe I’m wrong and I’m the problem, but I don’t think it’s the case (earlier on in the night most open green). We’re hitting some higher class venues shortly so that’ll be a good opportunity.

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    Update 4

    Monday Night Marquee

    I've soon realised that Marquee bungalow nights are one of my favourites. Unfortunately the outdoor area is closed again which makes it a bit harder to get girls back to the bungalow. Early on I had a couple girls that were keen to go back to the bungalow Ė unfortunately it takes 10mins to get a key and just as I get the key the girls decide to go to the toilet. Now I had the key I thought it would be best to find out the most efficient way to get to the club. Unfortunately the bouncer wasnít keen for us to use the shortcut. The alternative was via 5 flights of stairs, 1 escalator, 1 elevator and some really long hallways Ė far from ideal to take girls that change their mind every 5 mins. After prepping the suite for drinks and ice I was about to go back to the club when groups of rockstars and girls started arriving. One of the rockstars even brought a group of 12 girls which was amazing.

    After a while I exited the bungalow and went and did more approaches in the club. I re-entered the club via the shortcut and convinced the bouncer to allow me to use the shortcut again.

    After a bunch more approaches I eventually I run into the 2 girls I meet earlier on in the night. Often you only see a girl once in a club as there is just so many people. This is why first impressions count, because you rarely get a second bite of the cherry.

    I take the 2 girls back to the bungalow, on the way I notice another guy and girl tagging along. There is no way Iím bringing another guy back to the bungalow so I let him know its not my party a he canít come. It was high risk and I thought all could lose the other 2 girls too, however it works out fine.

    One of the other rockstars wings with the other girl (turns out to be my girls cousin). We are about to head out to one of the balcony when I see 2 naked bodies, so I quickly detour and go to the other balcony without anyone even noticing. After 10 mins I pull my girl to the bedroom and we have a great time.

    Later in the night the cousin gives me the ok to sleep with her cousin, I didnít tell her that it already happened. Later in the night I chatted openly to my girl about group sex, and she was semi interested. We actually spent a bit of time looking around at the other girls and guys in the bungalow to see what people would be cool to join group sex. We got close, we had 3 of us back in the bedroom but the girl wasnít quiet ready mentally. We decided not to proceed and nobody was upset or disappointed. It wasnít the usual last minute resistance that I observed early in the night before sex so I didn't push super hard.

    My key learning from previous group sex is that its all about the girl, and its not something you force onto them at all.

  27. #27
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    Vegas Diary #5

    Jeez, I just cannot take as many deep breaths as I like. This is so confusing and happening at such a breathtaking pace that there is no way I could possible fully process until weeks or even months after. I am literally capable of mentally or emotionally following my own progress. Without looking at my notes I canít even seem to remember what happened yesterdayÖ I thought the 12 weeks leading up to PRS with my full-time job, all the travel prep, the cooking, the Tupperware and the fitness was a constant sensory overload, but that was kindergarten compared to actually being in Vegas. I am almost non-stop torn between seemingly opposing feelings. On the one hand, I havenít even remotely comprehended how far I have come and how fucking awesome it is that some stuff I do that I could not even think of doing a week or two ago now seems kinda so effortless at times that I have to make an effort to catch myself and reward myself for doing it. And on the other hand, I still have many of those same anxieties, I feel I donít have the faintest fucking idea of what Iím doing and that Vegas will be literally over tomorrow and I havenít even started enjoying being here yetÖ

    Every single day, the group is bonding together stronger and stronger. The inner work we are doing is fucking insane, and seeing all these guys open up in ways that they have never been before fills me with mad love for all these daredevils. If they feel any of the confusion when confronting their demons that I feel Ė and I am pretty sure they do Ė these daredevils are fucking heroes.

    Itís hard to take a step back when youíre fully in it, but if I do, I must realize that I am in no way special. I see most of these guys (okay, maybe other than our 3 top models) wandering around with a kinda confused and scared look on their face time and again at night, and yet when I see them interacting with girls, it often looks so effortless from the outside. So you gotta remind yourself to keep an eye on the positive developments and stop beating yourself up for what you havenít achieved yet. Sure, I havenít approached half as many girls as I wanted yet, but more than ever in my life. Iíve accepted most challenges and learned something from it. All the girls that I took photos of are fucking hot. I am so much better at staying in state. I escalated in ways I did not think possible. I connected on emotional and sexual levels. I had girls react to my actions in ways I did not think possible. I did things I thought completely impossible. And I am opening myself up for so much more to comeÖ I am confused as fuck, but I accept that that is where I need to be to grow, so Iím just gonna put all my heart into trusting myself and becoming the man I can be.

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    Tuesday Aug 8:

    Yesterday was a well-needed day off from seminar. I did some laundry, hung out by the pool and caught up on my sleep a bit.

    Night out Monday Aug 7 Marquee Bungalow

    Pretty early on I was getting a drink at the bar. I say hello to these two girls and we start talking. I invite them to come to the bungalow. They ask me what the capacity is and I ask them why they want to know. It turns out that there are twelve of them. After briefly checking with one of the instructors regarding logistics, I grab one of them by the hand and start leading the way. It must have looked strange, me leading twelve attractive females through the lobby, to the elevators. We get to the bungalow and I give a tour to the one Iím interested in. There were only about five guys there in total. Soon they lost interest, and went back to the club. Not long after, some alums showed up with a few more girls. I was talking to one of them for a while, but nothing came of it. They left and went back to the club. Soon after that, one of my fellow Rockstars showed up with two girls that I had met earlier in the evening. He took his to one of the rooms, and I began talking to the other. Thatís all it was for the rest of the night - talking. I tried to help this girl remove the mask she was hiding behind. Pretending that she wasnít ďthat kind of girlĒ. The kind of girl that owns her sexuality and allows herself to admit that she enjoys it and wants it as much or more as guys do. After a while, it became too exhausting talking to her. I threw in the towel and called it a night around four AM. Iím still trying to figure out what the lesson is from this night. Too much talking, not enough touching maybe.

    Tuesday night was a well-needed night off. I went to sleep pretty early to try and get caught up a bit.

    Wednesday Seminar:

    Inner game. We really started going deep into what makes us do what we do. These next few days of inner game are what I need the most for my development. I hope I can make the most of it.

    Night Out: Wednesday Encore Surrender Night Swim (No Table) Jasper Instructor.

    Early in the evening, I had a girl tell me that it was ďnot right my approaching her when I was probably old enough to be her father.Ē I said to her, ďSo thatís your thing? You go around saying mean shit to guys in clubs just so you can feel better about yourself? How is that working out for you?Ē I should have just laughed it off, but itís the second time in three nights that it has happened. The fact that I engaged her about it is an indicator that it is a sore spot for me.

    I talked to Jasper about it a few minutes later. He helped me to get back into state, and I re-set for the night. I walked a girl out of the club with another Rockstar. I had no interest in her, just winging for my buddy.

    Thursday Seminar: More Inner Game

    Night Out Thursday Aug 10 Hakkasan Tiesto (Table Jasper Instructor)

    My state dropped early. I was not having any fun at all. Went home pretty early.

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    PR Journal 4

    At this point, it seems I have more to talk about in these journals then I have space to write.

    I spent the night with a girl, it was incredible. We shared ourselves on a deeper level and the sex was fucking amazing. Itís one of those real connections you get where you leave and itís not over, you still want that person in your life. Fast forward a couple days later, and I get a text accusing me of manipulating her by being part of a dating program that takes advantage of girls. I felt like I was looking at a 5 headed monster. How the fuck was I going to get out of it? What she said was true right? No thatís not right. I didnít believe it. But how could I show her how I saw things? How could I show her that I wanted to become more of a man and jumpstart the rest of my life?

    Normally, I would have sat there and tried to think of a way to convince her that she was wrong and I was right. I wouldíve tried to come up with the best thing to say given how she was feeling. Thatís not what I did. Instead I decided to be open and authentic about, who I was, what I was doing, and why I was doing it. Each reply took me over an hour to write as I was careful of how I worded it to make sure that I was conveying myself in a way that was congruent with how I was while still acknowledging how she felt.

    At first it was back and forth. She didnít understand what I was doing or why I was doing it. But as I continued to be open, her attitude changed. As she started to understand, the hurt melted, and we both felt very clear about what the night was, and what we wanted the relationship to be moving forward.

    I can say without a doubt before this program that never would have happened. Just being able to open and honest about who I am is scary enough. One of the goals I had formyself on this program was to be able to have women in my life that werenít either girls I just met who I fucked or long term romantic relationships.

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    PR Journal 5

    As I sat in Hakkasan last night, I looked around at my mate who had been killing it all night. Every time I looked over at him he just seemed to have girls around him. Not always the hottest girls, but always girls. And then throughout the night, he would find hot girls and that was it. Watching him at first made me jealous. I love the comparison game. I was mad he was doing better than me. But as I watched him, I noticed something about what he was doing. He wasnít trying to find hot girls or anything like that. He was literally just seemed to be flowing down a river and as rocks and trees floated by he would grab them and add them to his raft. It was effortless. He didnít care who he was talking to he was just in that state of having fun and that was it. I tried doing that, and I felt better. When the question you ask yourself is, ďhow can I be a more social person, and how can I have more fun?Ē the night becomes so much different tuned. Every time I focus on the results of hot girl or whatever then the night starts going down the tubular. I am going to be more present in the moment and just having fun and being social. That will help get me out of my head and working on the things that I need to.

    When I think about making moves, I have spent my life making safe moves. I wait to know that the girl will give me the thumbs up before I actually go and make a move on her. We had a mentor come in and talk about masculinity and how it relates to making bold moves. When I think of bold moves, I need to be willing to take risks to move the interaction forward or let it die. A girl shouldnít have to push the boundaries, thatís a guyís job. My goal is to make moves that I normally wouldnít feel comfortable making, going in for the kiss before I think Iím ready, grabbing her hips and pulling her in. It just takes one bold move to set the train going forward. Once I can get that momentum going then it will become easier and easier to fall into my masculine. I need to live in my masculine and in the moment and I know the bold moves will flow.

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    Day 15-16

    Two amazing days. Two powerful days of working on ourselves, our inner dialogues, and bonding with each other listening to these brothers. There’s just something so special about this program when it’s bringing together such diverse people, with the sole goal to become the best men we can possibly be. In the process, I am being continually humbled as I listen and relate to all the stories and experiences, pains and ordeals of each man here. I’ve seen grown men break down, and come out the other side stronger than ever and solid as a rock. And they’re doing it with some of the closest friends they have and will ever have. I’m nervous as fuck for my turn to dive deep into my thoughts, and feel like a fraud in the face of all of these other inspiring people, but I’m ready.

    The nights out were crazy. The first we had a table right on the dance floor for Tiesto, literally the best table in the entire club. As soon as we walked in as easily the best dress group, all eyes were on us. Standing up around the table/platform around the dance floor made us even more visible. Just as the instructors said, when we set the nights up like this there’s a natural slant in the energy in our favour. The night was great, met a gorgeous, firey tattooed mixed ethnicity woman. The kind of girl that, two weeks ago, I would have viewed as someone who would eat men alive and someone who I would never be able to keep around for more than 5 minutes. I ended up spending most of the night with her, completely due to my rapidly developing masculine presence and energy. At one point, I was walking with her around the club together looking for the right girl for a threesome, when we noticed literally every head was snapping in our direction, guys were looking at me, and women had this girlish look of awe. It was that moment I realised how much power we have inside just waiting to be let out amongst all the shit we’ve learned in our lives. The next night was very similar, except I didn’t spend the whole night with one girl, but was giving out lots of fun and good vibes to a lot of people, in a very masculine way. I was present, out of my head, and there was this intensity and energy that I’ve seen crack through occasionally but has been so elusive for more than a few minutes. Women I was with on the second night would tell me they’ve never met a guys like me, and they don’t meet guys like me. A bunch of crazy shit happened too, so much that I wouldn’t believe 2 weeks ago. It was awesome to go into party mode a bit too with the guys, and just have a great night. The bottle girl was pretty amazed that she’d never served so many bottled waters (since no ones drinking). Kind of hilarious to look around and see us having the most fun in the whole club, and literally not a single drink had by the guys. By the end of Tiesto, and certainly when he finished, people weren’t even watching the DJ anymore, they were watching our table.

    Reflecting on how far I’ve come, I realised even more how much this whole program has been about me working on me. We literally haven’t been given a single line, yet everyone’s progressing so quickly with their relationships with themselves, each other, people around them, and women. I’m so grateful and proud to be here.

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    Journal 4

    Tuesday August, 8 2017ó Day off.

    I went pretty hard the last couple nights knowing that there was a day off coming up, and I planned to take full advantage of it.

    This afternoon the instructors came over to the mansion and we all told stories and did a debrief from the night before which was very valuable. Itís always so eye opening and necessary to get someoneís objective opinion on how youíre interacting with women and this is where a lot of personal growth happens.

    Before debrief, we had an open discussion about group sex. An instructor asked us who was uncomfortable with the idea. I put up my hand.

    I thought I was pretty open sexually, but while being on the program Iíve learned what is really possible sexually and that group sex is a very normal and exciting experience for everyone involved. But because Iíve never partaken I still feel nervous/trepidation around the idea of it because itís brand new to me, and to be honest something I didnít really think existed outside of movies. But talking about it helps.

    The instructors left around dinnertime, and I think I went to bed at 11 PM, which is the equivalent of like 5/6 PM in my normal life.

    Wednesday August 9, 2017ó Surrender.

    I was looking forward to going back to Surrender considering the fun I had there the previous week. But something was off, it just didnít have the same vibe.

    I hung out with a few different girls over the course of the night, the two more memorable interactions that I had were from Canada. I started talking with one early in the night, but it was literally the first girl I talked to so I wanted to keep going and see what else was out there in the club, so I left her after about and hour or so.

    I ran into another Canadian later and spent a long time with her dancing and making out a bit. She had a friend with her but no Rockstar wanted to talk to her in ANY capacity, which made it really hard to convince them to come to the mansion.

    It was almost four AM and after 6 days of serious inner game reflection I was still pretty mentally exhausted despite a solid sleep the night before.

    I left her and had to run to the parking garage to catch a ride with one of the boys. And as I did a different Rockstar honked and yelled at me to get in.


    There was one girl in the front seat, and the girl I left early in the night was in the back seat by her self.

    ďWe meet again,Ē

    We drove to the mansion and got in the pool, we started making out. But she told me she was on her period, and that she had a ďmom bodyĒ after giving birth 4 months ago. Not the quickest way to get into my pants. We both just crashed around 6 am.

    More inner game tomorrow..

  33. #33
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    Journal # 5

    Weíve still been hitting the inner game pretty hard, and to be honest itís fucking amazing but it's exhausting. Especially since we all gave up caffiene despite staying up until 3,4,5, or sometimes 6 in the morning.

    The fact that this is a 64 day program and we're spending 10 days of that focused on inner game shows how important it is. Time is of the essence, everthing we do is planned down to the smallest detail shows how important it is.

    On top of all the inner game stuff going on, one of the guest instructors gave us homework to do something BOLD at the club.

    The great thing about this program is that just when you think you've done everything you can, there's another aspect added and we find out we can push each other that much further.

    So with the inner game breakthroughs still fresh in our minds, and a new homework challenge weíre all set for back to back Hakkasaan nights.

    Night 1 - Thursday August 10th, 2017.


    I won't lie I was pretty fucking stiff inside the night club when we first got there.

    Itís loud, itís crowded, itís high energy. Not to say that the other bars we went to werenít, this is just a different beast. But we also had a new weapon in our arsenal.

    A fucking SICK table behind the dance floor, stage left.

    The night started ok, a little bit more tense than usual but me and a rockstar were talking to two HOT blondes from Arizona and one of the instructors came up behind me and started mouthing the words ďtable. Table. TABLE.Ē

    I literally had only said Hello to these girls so pulling them to the table felt needy, but we did it any way. And Iím glad we did because the interaction at the table was so bad that they left right away, and I learned a valuable lesson.

    If youíre uncomfortable, theyíll be uncomfortable too. But this gave me a little spark for the rest of the night.

    Later I was talking to a girl and I put my hand on her hips, when I did I couldnít feel any underwear. So I looked her in the eyes and asked if she was or not. She smiled coyly, and I slid my hand under her dress without breaking the eye contact. When I got there, her head dropped back and the eyes rolled into the back of her head. Confirmed, no underwear.

    Her and her two friends came back to the mansion and we all hung out until 5 or 6 in the morning when they left one of them said something like

    ďItís very refreshing how all of you carry yourselves. We never really meet guys like you.Ē

    Between the table at the club and the mansion they had interacted with almost all of us. It was pretty cool to hear that.

    Friday August 11, 2017.

    Night 2 Hakkasaan.

    Iím tired. Minor aches and pains are starting to turn into less minor aches and pains. But three nights from now I know thereís a four day break. I can sleep then, go to the doctor or whatever I need to do. For now Iím going to push it as hard as I can for as long as I can and see what happens.

    I was more used to the table tonight as we had the exact same one the night before. It felt a lot more normal bringing girls back there than it did the first night with the first interaction.

    But tonight the real action started when we were leaving the club around 3:30.

    I ran into an instructor one of the other Rockstars and three girls right by the exit. The instructor was winging for the Rockstar, and said they were all going back to the mansion.

    Perfect.

    The three of them were in town for a 21st birthday party from Cali, and third girl was actually pretty cool. We got to know each other surprisingly well through fun and normal conversarionfrom the time we met in the casino lobby to the time we got back to the mansion, and I was able to show her my bedroom. Before I passed out at 5:30.

    Lesson: Never go home early and push yourself. You don't know what you're capable of.

  34. #34
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    Journal #6

    Journal #6

    Saturday August 12, 2017 — XS

    Wake up, gym, eat, seminar, eat, nap (maybe), club, nap.

    Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

    We’re about halfway through our Inner Game 10 day and it’s starting to get pretty intense for everyone. But sharing our deepest and darkest secrets in front of everyone is definitely bonding us as a group. These are our personal demons that we’ve carried with us for years and in a lot of cases decades. We never talked about them with anyone. Instead just shoved them into the closet.

    We didn’t talk about these fears or traumas with anyone because we’re men and our society tells us that men don’t talk about their feelings. But if the last couple days taught me nothing else it’s that vulnerability and trust will bond people quicker than anything else.

    As an added bonus I feel much lighter after sharing with the group. But I feel more genuine, more authentic and more like myself after sharing my childhood traumas in front of the group and being so raw emotionally in front of everyone. I’m way less likely to feel judged or worried about what people think about me.

    It’s a refreshing feeling.

    When we first got to the club I was a little bit tense, a little bit nervous like always. But I loosened up pretty easily, and when I did the interactions I was having went pretty well.

    At some point I found myself talking to a girl from Brazil who was in town for a bachelorette party. She was separated from her friends so I said I would help her look for them. We walked like 20 feet and started talking again.

    She asked me if I wanted a sip of her Corona,

    “No, I don’t drink.”

    I’m pretty used to explaining this to people at this point, but it’s starting to come up less and less.

    “Do you kiss?” She said.

    “NO I’m not allowed.” I said, and I kissed her.

    A couple minutes later I pulled her into a little alcove by the exit that had all the lights turned off. We stumbled around in there and got as naked as we needed to be in order to do what we needed to do.

    When we were about to leave I turned on my flashlight and saw that it was a little room that was full of discarded plates of room service. Mental note to use this area when I need it again.

    We got dressed and looked around for her friend on the dance floor. We danced for a couple minutes and then I left her to go find the Rockstars.

    In bed by 5 AM it’s an early night tonight.


    Sunday August 13, 2017 — XS, Night Swim.


    It’s weird now to think that fingering a girl in a bikini while we’re standing at the bar waiting to order a drink is normal activity. Where as three days ago it was something I had never done before.

    I don’t know what I did tonight before we went to the club, but I was on fire. I was there amusing myself, bantering, having a blast with the boys, it had all the makings for a great night.

    Me and another Rockstar were talking to two girls and the next thing I know, one of them is pressing herself against me, grinding on me, and trying her best to make out with me.

    Her friend on the other hand was an ice dragon, and was doing her best to ruin her night and everyone else’s night around her.

    Eventually we broke off from her friend and before I know it we’re headed back to my secret hideout from the night before. Except my plan gets a wrench thrown in it when security catches us trying to go in there.

    Why is there so much more security tonight? It’s night swim, which means more people outside.

    Shit.

    Ok, plan b. There’s a restroom inside the hotel that has floor to ceiling stalls (we discussed the exact location and procedure in seminar today). The problem with that was she was wearing a bikini and you need a cover up to go inside the casino.

    Ok, plan c. Get her clothes, phone and wallet and go back to the mansion.

    As she’s getting her clothes from her locker, the ice dragon comes back. The two of them get into this long passive aggressive argument about who ditched who, and who made a vow to stick together.

    It wasn’t my place to officiate that, but the ice dragon was definitely in the wrong. I got her number and went back to the find the boys.

    We did our best the rest of the night, but nothing really stuck after that. It’s cool. We went home and passed out. A couple hours later around 6 am, I woke up and my phone was ringing with a call from the bikini girl. I couldn’t have woken up and spoken with her even if I wanted to.

    Monday August 14, 2017 — Off Night

    We’ve got four nights off in a row. This will be awesome bonding time and reflection time for all of us. I know I need it. It’s been non stop for what feels like at least a week now.

    I plan to sleep, hang with the guys, catch up with the outside world and my past life before Rockstar, and most importantly to reflect on all the inner and outer game progress I’ve made in the last week and even before that.


    We were driving today and I thought about the night we went for dinner before the program started. We all had a good laugh about how we are all completely different people from that night which feels like it was a year ago, but it was only ~3 weeks ago.

    The best is yet to come.

  35. #35
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    Day 17-19

    Weíve had a couple of heavy days, delving into inner game and working through our inner demons as a group, and the results have been incredible. Itís so true when they say Rockstar is like nothing else, in the way it changes lives and brings people together more strongly than nearly any other experience we can have in our adult lives.

    Weíve been focussing on being bold the past few nights, coming from that fully masculine place. Iíve taken to this quickly, and have seen many times at this point the power of being present, using eye contact more than words, and using my body. Also, itís incredible the difference it makes when youíre coming into an interaction with the sole purpose to be yourself and have fun, and where your beliefs are that you are enough and that women are beautiful amazing creatures. The next step for me was to start working on creating the special bonds; whether they be for the hour, the night, or the building blocks for a longer term relationship, I need to move from being the fun dominant masculine good looking guy where women think Ďhe was hot/cool/funí to ĎI met a really special guy last nightí.

    Day 17 night out I met a gorgeous mixed ethnicity Latina woman with intense beautiful eyes as we were walking in. I got her number and went to find the guys and warm up a bit, but quickly found her again. From the start we had a strong connection, one of those ones thatís hard to describe, the bubble just exists and itís strong. I remembered to start opening up more and sharing, showing her the gifts I have to give. But this was from a completely genuine place of giving with no expectation. It was really cool to see her reciprocate, and over the course of the night we got really deep and talked about life, the meaning of it, the universe, ourselves, and personal journeys and growth (a lot of this was back at the mansion by the pool). She wasnít sure if she should leave with me, but I just lead and was cool with whatever happened.

    Day 18 night out was a bit different, I found myself for the first hour or so talking to some fairly hot girls, and groups of girls, but it was certainly work. The difference I noticed, however, was that I was still having fun and doing a lot of the talking, without really running out of things to say / getting awkward even when it was quiet; many of these girls just werenít adding much. Which is fine. One of the instructors had a good analogy the other week, itís like walking around trying to find a tennis partner. Sometimes you can hit it against the wall for a bit and itís fun, but when you find someone that hitís back you can have a lot of fun. About half way through I met a gorgeous little blonde girl, who was crazy, weird, funny, cute, intelligent, and all around a great conversational tennis partner. The thing was she was there to hang out with her friends, and while she was fun, she tested/held her shield for a long time. I didnít mind, I was having a great time and was disinterested in the outcome. I just held myself solid, came from that masculine place, and didnít give in to her teasing/testing (pretending to go to kiss me etc). At certain points I would see her melt from a subtle look, something strong I would do, and I just appreciated how far Iíve come. Thereís no way 3 weeks ago Iíd be able to play (in the childish fun sense of the word) with a woman like this; she was becoming more and more feminine and girly the more of a man I was. We went back to her hotel and had a great night.

    Reflecting, both of these nights ended with incredible intimate experiences solely because I was able to connect and go deep, find that special connection, and empower my dance partner to be feminine, be free of judgement, and fall into my presence. It was really cool to see, how genuine I can be and how amazing I can make people feel by just being myself. Iím slowly becoming the man I always knew I could be.

    We wrapped up the inner game intensive period. One of the instructors ex girlfriends offered to take us all through a yin yoga class prior to taking a few days off to reflect on everything we'd learned and how much we've changed so far. It was awesome, I came out feeling calm, refreshed and centred.

  36. #36
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    Reflection on the 10-day bootcamp

    Wow, these 10 days seem such a distant past, and yet it is almost as if I barely arrived at the mansion yesterday. This has been such a wild ride that it is next to impossible to keep track of things without the help of my diary. So letís recap the official 10-day bootcamp by which this whole Rockstar adventure started.

    The first night before the official start of the 10-day was one of the head instructorís birthday party, so we had a great table at Marquee and no real goal for the night other than to go out there, interact and have fun. A good opportunity to get a feel for the environment and what a Las Vegas nightclub feels like. It was a great night, as I felt no pressure and was really excited about what was to come. Looking back now, it is kinda funny to see how innocent I was and how much my feelings about those nightclubs has changed between now and then, at some point even turning into feelings of dreading them or considering them work environment.

    The 10-day officially started by a lecture on masculinity. It has been an overarching theme of the curriculum thus far. Overall, the program is a lot different from what I imagined it to be in that the focus is so much more on broader concepts like masculinity and self-love rather than technicalities and mechanics. And that same theme has kept throughout the nights Ė where I envisioned myself getting detailed feedback after every single interaction, I see myself getting a very broad instruction ďbe more bold tonight and lead harderĒ, and oftentimes thatís basically it. If you ask for support, you often get it (especially in opening interactions), but other than that, you are basically left to your own experiences and discoveries Ė which is a way of learning that is new to me.

    Possibly the biggest takeaway of the first days of classes what the definition of a true man as being someone who someone who feels his fear, does not really know what to do, but does shit anyway. As obvious as that sounds, it had never really hit home before quite in the same way as it did that very first day of the bootcamp. The other big takeaway Ė that has been reiterated and reinforced even more during the following 10 days of inner game Ė is that the mind is a muscle. Approaching is a muscle that needs to be trained, as is leading, being bold / flirty / deep / sexual. That muscle needs to warmed up every night, so the smartest thing to do is to plunge right into the action at the very start of the night without any other intention than to get your conversational muscle firing and your state up. Easy said, but often hard to do. But it works.

    The following days were dedicated to various aspects of conversation Ė trips & tricks for being flirtatious and bantering, how to bring conversations to a deeper, more connecting level, good and bad ways of sexualizing and using touch and body language, what level of boldness is acceptable and what mindset it should come fromÖ so each of the first few nights out was dedicated to practicing one and only one of those specific mechanics Ė make a bold move and pick a girl up or lead her out of the club way before you feel comfortable or ďallowedĒ to do that, engage in a deep and long conversation about your passions and your motivation, use touch, eye contact and sexual innuendo to create and hold tensionÖ and then learn to oscillate between those actions to become more of a challenge and become oversteering in any directions. Itís interesting to see how much easier things become of you really focus on the process instead of this outcome Ė itís so much easier to be bold when your intention is ďwell, letís see what I have to do to make her get angry at me and blow me outĒ instead of ďwow, sheís hot, I want to kiss herĒ. Only by truly trying to push your own boundaries and trying to explore hers, you learn to get a feel for where boundaries are in interactions. And more often than not, they are way beyond were you thought they would be. And experiencing this first-hand creates the reference experiences that than cause the necessary shifts in your mindset that make you expand your world view and become more comfortable in sexual interactions.

    What is really hard is to keep up the level of challenges. Through all the experiences that we are making our comfort zones expand so fast that it takes a really steadfast determination to keep operating at the edges of our comfort zones and keep pushing them. Itís just so easy to lose yourself in the positive feeling of great interactions with attractive girls if thatís what you have been craving for so long instead of truly trying to go all-in and get the full prize or be blown out. Thatís why the instructors keep hammering into our head that we need to fail harder because the only rock-solid place in yourself that you can always rely on comes from the experiences you made by taking action and the doubts only exist because you never really experienced things yourself.

    An astonishing amount of time is also dedicated to the girlsí perspectives. What their needs are, why they react the way they do, the difference between what they say and what they mean, how to meet their needs, how to truly love the feminine, how to truly give and make any interactions with them special and one to rememberÖ what truly sets this program apart is that it is very little about mechanics and nothing at all about how to sweet-talk girls into bed almost against their own free will, but all about how to turn yourself into a happy, healthy, confident and abundant male human being that natural feels and is attractive, and about how to provide a woman with enough masculinity, comfort and security so she can open up and experience her true femininity. We started off by a few day of conversation mechanics without learning a single canned line, and from there on it was basically all inner game in the much broader context of becoming a more aware and better version of the men we already were. Loving it.

  37. #37
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    10-Day Bootcamp Reflection.

    When I first discovered Love Systems around a year ago I figured that I would get the tools that would help me learn how to get girls. Then I would sharpen those tools a little bit and head off into the wild where I would progressively see an increase in the quantity and the quality of the women in my life.

    Thatís not really how it works.

    Over the last year the tools that I had did get better and better. And the results increased. But there was something missing.

    There's no doubting that when we started the 10 day program on Rockstar the tools I had all got upgraded. It was like trading in a hack saw for a chain saw, a screw driver for a drill, a sledge hammer for a jack hammer. But I still didn't feel confident enough using them.

    Iíve sat in on a fair number of boot camps through Love Systems and one thing I realized is that a weekend just isnít enough time to transform into the man you want to become. There is too much material and too much information to give out in such a short period of time. But aside from that the reality of it is, that the type of transformation I was looking for is not possible to achieve in 3 days.

    This is a journey and it takes time. Now Ten Days is a more realistic span of time to go into detail on the content, and to cover the mechanics and logistics of meeting women. But depending on the person it will take a long time after the fact to implement all the knowledge and even longer before you're meeting the women you want to meet. That's just the reality of it.

    The fact that we get to stay in this environment and push ourselves will LOCK in that growth over the next ~50 days. Thereís literally zero chance of us regressing into our old habits because we're going out every night with the best group of guys imaginable. This is where the mechanics that we learned in the 10 day will lock in and we will begin to see the growth.

    In just 10 days I feel like Iíve moved forward by pushing myself beyond boundaries and limits that I previously would have set for myself. I've done things that I wouldnít have thought possible if I wasnít on this program. Thatís the beautiful thing about the 10 day program, not only has it brought us all closer and bonded us in ways that have given us stronger connections than I have with some of my oldest friends. The connections we've made aren't the only inspiring thing but seeing the growth of everyone around me is helping me push myself harder, and to try things I wouldnít have attempted in the past.

    On the surface itís been a blast, partying at the sickest clubs in Vegas for 10 days. Iíve seen guys on this program make massive leaps in the first 10 days including myself. Weíve done things I would have never thought possible, and Iíve tightened up aspects of my game that will benefit me long after we've left Vegas and long after Rockstar is over.

    Thatís not to say that itís been easy.

    There were plenty of times when I was uncomfortable, and plenty of times that I was scared shitless. But thinking back to 10 days ago, the way I felt when we were about to walk into Marquee for the instructors birthday on the first night... The difference is laughable, it isnít comparable. Those weíre two different people.

    Itís important to think back and remember this progress that weíve made, because being that weíre all so close to the screen that itís hard to see the big picture.

    When I was 17 or 18 years old, I asked a girl out and got my first humiliating rejection. That drove me to change the exterior of myself because I thought that would be a good way to not get rejected ever again.

    At some point during the 10 day I recognized that I had a pretty big ego around this area of my life.

    After being rejected I started working out, I changed my hairstyle, I upgraded my fashion, and recently I took action towards improving my lifestyle to be more aligned with my hobbies and passions. Because I was determined to prove that I was capable of meeting and dating women.

    So not only on Rockstar but back home in my social circle before I cam here. I felt like I was drawing significance from hooking up with women, and I was pushing myself to do so out of a need for validation and out of a fear of scarcity that was previously in my dating life. Coming on Rockstar has humbled me, and itís also shown me this about myself. Prior to joining the program I knew that scarcity and ego were concepts that are bad and unhealthy, however I was blind to the fact that I was doing it myself. Now itís clear that I was and Iím doing my best to recognize these aspects of my life and to improve them the best that I can so I'm coming from a place of love and giving.

    I didnít really wake up to what was driving me so hard for all these years (FEAR), until we started to touch on Inner Game. I knew coming in that this is an area I needed to grow in, and that it was an area I wanted to grow in and it was a big reason why I wanted to come on this program.


    The way the instructors described outer game is that itís like training for a marathon with an ankle weight on. All the better hairstyles,fashion, improved lifestyles, and fitness habits are types of training, but when itís time to run the marathon taking off the ankle weight is the only way it's going to give you a better marathon time.

    The fact that there are still gaps in my inner game and my inner beliefs and the stories that I tell myself is like running the marathon with an ankle weight on. Itís time to take off the ankle weight and fix the inner beliefs that I have so I can do the best that Iím capable of with all the training and tools that I have at my disposal.

    If youíve been following the blogs of the Rockstars you know that thereís been some crazy stuff going on. Thatís just the appetizer, with all the inner and outer work that weíre doing on ourselves the lid of this thing is going to be blown off. And the rest of the way and weíre going to do some pretty fucking amazing things together.

    I canít wait to look back on October 2 and read this reflection and the previous blog posts while thinking to myself ďThatís Cute.Ē

  38. #38
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    10 Day Reflection

    My journey started 3 years ago when I took a 3 day bootcamp with Gil Rio and Darwin in Los Angeles. How things have changed since then. How I have changed.

    I think the best way the 10 Day Program is to first share what the 3 day did for me compared to what has happened over the last 3 days.

    When I took my 3 day boot camp, I had no confidence. It took everything I had just to walk up and approach girls. Once I had mounted the courage to walk up I would be stuck trying to figure out what to talk about and would get blown out after 2 minutes. I put so much pressure on myself to do it right, that it would mess up my ability to actually listen and communicate, and then Iíd beat myself up and it would get even worse. My 3 day bootcamp first and foremost pushed me to actually go and approach girls. That alone is literally invaluable. As the weekend progressed, I saw improvement from my confidence once I surrendered to the instructors. When I think back, it basically told me that I needed to have natural game, but was lacking in actually giving me practical ways to implement and improve other than be myself. Yes there were ways to banter and other stuff, but I felt like I was more shooting from the hip. 3 days was not enough time to actually go through everything that I needed. It did however spark in me that drive and desire to continue to work on this and grow, which that alone was invaluable given the limited cost of the program. Letís be real, 3 grand to change your life in a weekend is a small price to pay.

    At worst the 10 day was a comprehensive plan on how to improve the social, relationship, and self talk aspects of my life. At best, it gives the tools to rewrite the way that you can handle yourself in relationships both romantic and otherwise, while also giving you a glimpse of what the path looks like farther down the road.

    Before we dived into anything regarding communication or body language, we first had a conversation on the basis for who we are, or masculinity.

    Since I was a kid, it has been expressed to me that I needed to be a man, someone that has honesty and integrity as he moves through the world. Most of what I viewed a man as comes from my (step) dad and my grandpa. There really wasnít much open discussion of feelings from the father figures in my life. When I thought of a man, I thought honesty, integrity, getting shit done, but there was also a wall between him and the world, I was unreactive to the world and was unaffected by it, or at least I didnít show it. So what is masculinity? Itís the basis for how we, as men, move about the world. It means having honesty and integrity, being able to be vulnerable and sharing ones struggles with the world, and always pushing forward through the challenges no matter what happens. He strives through the world with boldness and is a compliment to the feminine side of women, which he allows her to show through the strength and protection he offers her. That is the basis for how we move about the world. Itís not about being this rough tough guy that relies solely on himself. Itís about going after his goals, and bringing every person around him up at the same time.

    With that in mind, we moved on to the basics of conversation. For years I had been taught that we needed to be able to build attraction and then qualify, then build comfort, and then we would be able to Open Sesame and have sex with a girl. Or more globally, be able to successfully interact with the people around us. I found it confusing, and I didnít want to have to be constantly building routines.

    The model we were taught maintains that no, you donít need to preplan your conversations with people ahead of time. There is a better way. How about you just talk about what youíre naturally interested in and then layer funny, deep, or sexy things throughout the conversation. But that wonít work right? Women donít like me for who I am. I need to change who I am and figure out what they like to talk about so they will stay right? No. No one wants someone to try to cater to them. If I talk about what I like I can get passionate about it and pass along those emotions to the person Iím with. In the past, Iíd ask a million and one questions on the other person, and force them to drive the conversation. Sure, Iíd try to relate while the other person finished answering the question, but I couldnít drive the conversation because I wouldnít be interested and would be bored which would telegraph and then neither of us really want to talk to each other. With this in mind, the goal of having conversation is to talk about what youíre interested in and make it interesting. Then you layer on top everything else. Mind blowing.

    For all of the energy that we put into the verbal conversation, that part only accounts for 7% of the communication between people. The other 93% is non verbal. Enter subcomms. Itís something that most people donít think of but itís also the most important thing to get down. How do you tell if someone is lying? Is it the words? If I say I didnít eat the last oreo, how can you tell if I am lying or not? Through tone of voice, and your body language. How do you stand up, does your voice waver, do you speak softer? The way we speak and the way we carry our body is more important than the words that we use.

    This is the ďouter gameĒ or the actual communication techniques that people use to express themselves. As much power as these techniques have, they are effectively useless in the long run without ďinner gameĒ which refers to the mindsets and thoughts that you carry with yourself on a day to day, moment by moment basis. Now there is another week of inner game that I will reflect on later but this was a good start for our devices here.

    Basically what we learned is that we all have pre programmed filters through which we see the world through that can either help or hurt us. In addition, all the time we are constantly analyzing every situation to see if it benefits or hurts us.

    In the past year I have spent most of my focus on the communication portion and very little on my overall mindset when Iíd be going out. I always look at it like a computer. Your ability to banter, hold a conversation, and push the boundaries sexually are like the programs that you use. Your mindsets, thoughts, and feelings are your operating system. It doesnít matter if you have access to Adobe Photoshop 2025, if youíre running Windows 98 as your operating system it isnít going to do shit for you. Clearing out those mindsets was the icing on the cake. The first couple days I was having success but would be in my head and struggled. After we started clearing out those old mindsets, it helped me not only when I would be out, but I also felt better about myself.

    So first 10 days are done. I look back and wonder how much I would have grown had I had this program three years ago when I first started working to improve my game. I realized midway through this journey that the only way I was going to be happy is if I had something that I could apply to my day to day life. I didnít want to have to switch who I aws when Iíd go out and be around women. This program really instills in you the importance of being yourself. I wanted to give an overview of this but the guys on top have spent what, 9 years perfecting the timing of everything that we did on the program. Every single piece seemed to fall in the perfect order where you would get it when you needed it. Iím not going to lie, it was hard. We put a shit ton of effort into going out and doing the best that we could. But it was worth it. The 10 day alone gave me more than my now 8 years working to get better with women. That includes all the reading, magic bullets, the lounge, all the audio books. Blew it out of the water. The value you get out of the 10 day more than covers the cost. Do you want to not only get better with girls, but be given the road map for how to continue to improve yourself not just with women but in your own life? Take a 10 day.

  39. #39
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    Entry #2 10 day reflection.

    I've been on Rockstar for 10 days now. I'm extremely confused and frustrated as I'm writing this entry. While I expected this to be hard, I certainly did not expect things to go the way they are. The fact that night #1 was a disaster certainty did not help things. I was a victim of predatory deception resulting in a minor crisis during which the thought of just leaving PR and going home crossed my mind a couple of times.

    Fortunately for me, I was able to overcome that experience and immerse myself into the instruction. I came to PR with the intention of following the process with full faith, regardless of my insight/understanding of the the specifics and I have been doing just that.

    Having gone through 10 days of PR, I feel completely lost and disjointed. Though I have also seen glimpses of what I want and should be doing. The things I'm being taught in seminar make complete sense. The mechanics of language, the content of the conversation and body language make complete sense to me. The need for inner game, sense of self worth and lack of judgment when dealing with the opposite sex are also understandable. Furthermore, we are being taught by exceptionally accomplished guys, who make this stuff look easy. But it is not.

    I am approaching an average of 30 women every night. I seem to be doing and saying all the things that I'm being taught. However most of the women I approach either jolt out of my way or get dragged away by their friends. I'm able to initiate a few deeper interactions every night and have been able to maintain a regular, somewhat boring conversations without any significant chemistry or connection. While the ability to do that is required, it's hard for me to take things further.

    I've been to nightclubs before and I'm not a big fan. Being an introverted and logical guy, I find unsettling discomfort in an environment where dark setting, loud music, bright lights and converging human traffic columns create a sensation of chaos. I feel like an outsider in this chaos and I really cannot have fun, rather experiencing a sensation of all this stimulation pressuring me deep into my own head. In the past I would use alcohol to dis-inhibit myself and try and mingle, but that is not an option. I'm still struggling with how the heck am I supposed to talk to anyone, when I can barely hear myself think.

    However, I will admit that after 10 days of heavy rotation in this environment, I do feel a bit more comfortable. What is also remarkable is the ease of overcoming approach anxiety. Rejection is becoming a regular and acceptable norm. The more I laugh about it, the easier it is to start talking to the next gorgeous (or at the very least attractive) woman who walks by me.

    I was especially frustrated after night 8 at XS. I felt as if I was given all the tools needed to go out and meet beautiful women. I saw most of my classmates doing exceptionally well and going home with gorgeous women and I felt as if I was bouncing against the wall of rejection and back inside the prison within my head. The thought of giving up an leaving PR would alternate with the thought of trying harder and harder, which is what I have been doing all along. I did not fall asleep until 9am (which is not much later than when we normally go to sleep) despite taking multiple sleep aids. The following morning, with the help from the instructors I realized that I am running my own race and have a completely distinct and heavy set of obstacles to overcome. They are more complex and my progress will be slower.

    I communicated with some of the guys who are doing PR with me before the program started and I got a feel for some extremely accomplished and kind people. My intuition did not disappoint and I am here indeed with a group of unbelievable guys from all over the world. The age range in mind blowing: 21-48. I rarely hang out with anyone more than 6 years out of my age. Guys' level in game is as varied as their age, geography and backgrounds. I feel like I'm somewhere in the lowest 30% game-wise. I've been much better in the past years, but the last 6 months of working nights (with very limited social contact) and other personal problems have had a significant impact on my ability to communicate with people, much less with gorgeous women. I also feel considerable difficulty connecting with the guys in my class as well. That's just my nature; it takes me a very long time to connect with people. Part of the frustration is seeing other people form bonds while I feel lukewarm connections. It is nevertheless cool to live in a luxury version of a frathouse, something I haven't done since college.

    I'm really excited about the depth of the instruction and resources that are being put in. Project leaders are deeply invested into our success and its encouraging. What is also a huge boost is the feedback that I'm getting from the alumni from prior years. This experience was life changing for people who came from some very dark places and not only are they excited about their own transformation gained with PR but they are truly excited about seeing us undergo the same journey and emerge on the other side.

    While I am feeling very frustrated with my progress so far, there is no way to ignore the positives. One huge one is an emerging understanding of the dependence of outer game on inner game. Women are exceptionally perceptive to where a man's approach originates from. Just learning the mechanics may suffice at times, but most women will thin slice your mechanics away and will see lack of confidence masculinity and self worth in a millisecond. I'm not here to learn “the game” I'm here to develop my masculinity, self love and inner worth. Once I have these, the body language, pick up lines and confidence that attract gorgeous women will come naturally. However, these deep inner pillars have malformed and been neglected for many years and they cannot be repaired in 10 days, 2 months or even a year and PR is a start of that process. That being said, I'm definitely catching glimpses of how these precepts must align within me and manifest an attractive man in a chaotic environment of a night club. And when I catch these glimpses, I feel a flame within myself to push hard and nurture these. I really cannot think of a better place and people to do these with than here. I feel excited to keep pushing hard, overcoming one small obstacle at a time and unleashing my masculinity.

  40. #40
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    10 Day Bootcamp Reflection

    Now that we’re a week since finished the 10 day, we’ve been asked to reflect on the experience, the lessons learned, and how far we’ve come. I’m finding it so hard to even relate to the person I was on Day 1, before we started formal instruction.

    When we started, I was OK with women by normal standards (though I look back now and see how many blocks and issues I had). I could approach, have a lot of fun and banter, and hold the attention of groups. But there always seemed to be some big parts I was missing. I was so confused, I was this cool fun guy with so much going for him, yet women would get bored quickly and over my bullshit, before moving on and I’d see them later with other guys that didn’t seem to have anything to offer I didn’t have. And there was another issue in that; I was outcome dependant and seeking validation from other people, always trying to make everyone like me. I thought I had no outcome dependence, simply because I didn’t care if I took the girls home that I was talking to (in fact, I preferred not to). In reality, I was seeking validation to bandage my own insecurities. And not wanting to take girls home was related to my own insecurities, rather than being focussed on giving.

    The 10 day program was incredible. I expected to spend the first few days learning ‘mechanics’, which we did, but the way it was done was completely different to my expectation. We started with discussing masculinity, and becoming a better man. We weren’t told any lines, we didn’t practice any routines. The whole program is established to make better human beings, and therefore as a small subset we get better with women. You can only connect the dots in reverse, but looking back from where I’m at now, it seems so simple; create solid people to the core, mend their relationships with themselves and watch their relationships with their family, friends, people around them and women improve dramatically. Going out the first night and just having normal conversation worked better than I could have ever imagined. The goal was to just be authentically myself, talk about stuff I found interesting and fun, and to my massive surprise women responded extremely well in joining in on conversation, opening up and being themselves. I met a great girl and spent the night laughing and having fun before taking her home – who would have thought, without anything but normal conversation and forcing myself to stand at least a foot away at all times, I’d already done better than I have in the past.

    The program certainly has a steep learning curve; the next night we went into ramping up non verbal communication through touch and body language, with the idea to see how far the boundaries really are; and as we all saw, they’re a lot wider than I thought right off the bat (hand holding right off the saying hi for example). After working hard for a lot of the night, going overboard I started to see the balance and adjusted for it. It was then when I saw one of the most gorgeous women I’ve seen in a long time, in a group/table that in the past would have made walk past too intimidated, and I went for it, and it all clicked. Day 2 and I spent the night with a stunning woman with an amazing personality; hey, maybe they’re teaching us something very right with this natural normal human style curriculum.

    The program continued at a fast pace, with the next day discussing views on sex and non-judgement. That night I was so surprised how open women are about sex when I’m coming from a place of genuine non-judgement. Practicing this skill allowed me to give a woman an extremely special experience that night; it was a beautiful thing to show her how comfortable she could be in her own skin. The next two days were amazing, going into warmth and texting. Dispelling all the bull shit rules around texting was amazing, and listening to some of the most masculine guys there is, people like Venture, talking about being warm and caring and going deep was great to see. The whole program is predicated on coming from that strong, caring, authentic masculine place, without any tricks or weird tactics. It’s just being the best version of myself, and some people will not like that, and that’s ok, it’s better for me and them that I be real and genuinely me. For testament to how powerful and genuine this program is, after only a week instruction I made group sex happen, where we were able to give the birthday girl and her friend an experience they’ll never forget.

    The second half of the program was all inner game. I’ll discuss this in detail in my inner game period reflection. We essentially worked on changing our inner psychology, starting with the stories we tell ourselves that have defined our lives, and the ‘rackets’ we run on other people (e.g. that guy is ‘XYZ’, passing judgement), to understanding what needs are dictating our lives, whether they be the need for significance or connection, certainty or uncertainty, growth and giving. It finished with an understanding of how important state is in our everyday lives and in our interactions with women, and the key drivers to improve state. Writing out the list of the gifts I have to give, the ‘why I’m great’ list, was an important exercise for me to realise how much of an awesome guy I already am, and how much I have to bring to the lives of those around me.

    All in all, the 10 day program was incredible. The key to its power is the fact that the program isn’t really about picking up women; it’s about forging guys into great men, that come from a place of authenticity and masculinity in all areas of their lives; that’s why there’s so much on inner game. It’s about giving people the tools they need to develop into good attractive men with lives women want to be a part of.

  41. #41
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    PR Journal 6

    Wow. I just finished my intervention(read my inner game reflection if you are interested) and had the most amazing night. Coming into the night, I was exhausted. I had basically just had demons exorcised from my body but I wanted to be able to support the guys so I resolved to go out and have fun and if I wanted to I could leave early. Enter what was the quickest pull of my life. First girl that I talked to was smoking hot. I just was in it to have fun though. We danced, we flirted and right when I needed to I stepped up as a man and made a bold move to pull her in. I moved things sexual and she let it go there, and within 15 minutes we moved to a room at the Cosmo. Subsequently, I went back to XS and continued to have an amazing time with my friends.

    You donít realize how little it means to meet girls until you donít care anymore. I have put so much pressure to measure up to what other people want for me, what I want for me. For once I just went out and was totally present, not in my head, focusing on the stimulations from the environment and enjoying the night with my friend. It gave me the freedom to be myself. That may be one of the biggest lessons I have taken(though I will admit it is a lesson I am relearning). Focusing on being present, on being present in the moment to be able to just enjoy every second. That is how I can best be myself. Itís the same concept from the inner game of tennis, by focusing on the environment I was able to allow myself to get into flow. I literally cannot wait to take this and apply it when I actually have an abundance of energy.

  42. #42
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    PR Inner Game Reflection

    10 day guys beware, this is where you are going to get jealous. We started out with a 10 day program that taught the basics of basically Game 3.0 and gave an intro to inner game. We have just completed 13 days of the most transformative experience of my life. I donít know if it is possible to comprehend how much change we have experienced. But I will try to give you a taste of what has transpired.

    We kicked off this inner transformation with 4 days on how we think about ourselves, and how we build the picture of the world around us. Every person filters out the world with two things in mind: Looking good and avoiding looking bad. So we ask ourselves questions to determine that. Does this make me look cool or bad? Do I like this or that? Is this right or wrong? Every person makes decisions all day long about how they view things. Itís not a malicious process; itís designed to protect you. By being able to ďjudgeĒ something we are able to determine whether or not itís something we want to participate in. Our brain literally does not allow us to consciously focus on the things that it does not deem as important. Before you buy a Jeep, no one has the car and you canít want to be the first one driving it around. After you buy that Jeep, suddenly everyone and their mother is driving the same model. Thatís filtering at work. Now how do we decide whether something is good or bad or right or wrong? Well that depends on the stories we tell ourselves.

    Every person has stories that they have created based on the events they have experienced in life. For example, I was hanging with two of the boys in my Cub Scout group when I was around 8. While we were hanging out one of the boys asked me, ďWhy do you even hang out with us? You know nobody likes you.Ē Thatís the event. What actually happened was a shit eating 8 year old told me he didnít like me. It should be that simple. But what I told myself in that moment was there was something wrong with me, I wasnít worthy of love, I needed to change who I was in order to become worthy of friendship and love. And that is how I have lived my life. It seems absurd, but if you look back on the behaviors we have you can typically find an event or events that have reinforced how you feel about that. And that is how I have ended up living my life based on an 8 year oldís perception of reality. You think of what that has cost me over the years, all of the friendships because I would pander to people, the walls that I put up to block people out, the feeling that I am a piece of shit for years and years. Once we realize that we have them, it is up to us to unwind these stories and see them for what they really are. In my example, an 8 year old being a dick. It shouldnít have any bearing on todayís actual reality. I get fired up just writing this post because itís true, nobody can define who I am or my reality but myself. These stories are easier discovered than dismantled.

    The brain basically has three parts, the brain stem, the logical brain and the emotional brain. For thousands of years, our brain worked on survival instincts. It would give us emotion in order to get us to move to action; adrenaline when we were in danger, anxiety when there was a perceived fear, aroused when we weíre going to fuck. Those feelings allowed us to survive. There is a catch. Relying on the emotional brain can lead us to feel emotions that are just plain irrational. How many guys walk up to a girl and feel anxious the whole way there? It can feel like death! There is an evolutionary reason for this. Back in the day, humans wouldnít be too good on their own. Imagine one human man and his trusty spear against a saber tooth tiger or a mammoth. That man is dead. It was very important to live in groups of people, that was humanís strength. If back in the day, you went and hit on all the women in your tribe, youíd probably get kicked out of the group. Which means death. Just like that, 10,000 years later, I walk up to a girl and boom, I still feel like I am going to die, even though I know in my logical brain that I will not die if she rejects me or anything else happens. But the emotional brain overrides the logical brain every time. So when as an 8 year old I felt I donít belong, because of the emotions in that moment, ti became ingrained in my brain and even though I know I am a worthy person who deserves love, I still feel shit about myself. So what do we do next? We bring in the big guns. 6 day deep dive into the subconscious.

    The first two days talked about how to integrate being a man into day to day life and switching from using your instinct for survival as fuel, into living with love, giving and growth as fuel. The difference is that when we live from scarcity we live from a place of neediness: I need more money, I need more food, I need that girl. Think about what happens at a party. Beginning of the night, everyone is sharing the booze, Iím pouring shots left and right. Come back 3 hours later and the story has changed. Suddenly every person is holding their alcohol, rationing out what they have to make sure they have enough. Scarcity of resources right? I have lived my whole life from a place of scarcity, feeling like there wasnít enough for me, that I needed to take in order to get to where I needed to be. Going even deeper, I felt like I needed more just to survive, because fundamentally I wasnít enough as a person. I need to make money, I need to get hotter girls, I need to be more popular and have more influence. The problem isnít the goals, the problem is how it made me feel. I had this burning desire to succeed but I was miserable inside. Coming from a place of love means knowing that our needs are met and being able give in place of taking. Giving without wanting anything in return. Itís the difference between giving as an obligation vs. giving as a decision, one that is totally up to you without strings attached. All of this was just a warm up for 3 days of intensive interventions.

    I hate opening up. Opening up meant giving people a reason to see who I really was which I knew they wouldnít like. Fuck that. The only people I liked opening up to were people that I had just met because I didnít care whether or not they stopped talking to me. Being open and free with people I know means risking those friendships when they come to realize how shitty of a person I am inside. So as I walked up front I felt a grand canyon of apprehension. The outcry of support from my brothers was heartbreaking. Every single hand rose to the ceiling when the question of ďDo you love this manĒ was posed. I was a joy to be around? Giving up that feeling of self-doubt was hard. I had survived my whole life and had been protected by that feeling of low self worth. It had brought me to where I am today. When I broke free it literally felt like a demon had been exorcised from my body. My face felt electric and my body was shaking with sweat. But I had moved forward, my shoulders had relaxed, and a smile of pure joy had spread across my face. And I was good to go.

    Just kidding. We literally got mind fucked next.

    Sterling had brought out some teachers to lead a guided meditation retreat to reflect on the last ten days and to really integrate what we had learned. With guided prompts, I went in determined to find out how I could love myself. What a question. On day 1, I started by questioning what my purpose in the universe was. I grew up Christian, something that I struggle with on a regular basis. I want to be Christian, but it kills me when I feel like doing what I want with my life is contrary to the expectations of my entire family. I was overwhelmed, I felt like I didnít belong anywhere. In that time of overwhelming emotion, I remember feeling grateful, even if I didnít know what my purpose or place in life was, that I had who I had in my life. I reached out and just gave love to my family, my friends, the guys in the room with me. I just wanted them to be happy and successful and felt like there were really no blocks to what we wanted other than the ones that we created for ourselves. And I felt that the significance that we take from life is totally dependent on us.

    I was not interested in another 7 hours of meditation. I felt broken, confused about what my life was actually supposed to be about. I walked in hoping that I would be able to find how to love myself. I was prompted to look back at past life and take meaning from it. When I have looked back on my life, I have always been disappointed. I was never good enough, at the best parties, with the best people. I felt like I was out of place. I looked back on those moments, and slowly, memories came back to me that I had totally forgotten about. Happy memories, hanging with friends, all of the cool things I had done. I snuck into a rival schoolís dance when I was in high school and I had completely forgotten about it. It was awesome! I felt like such a rebel. I seemed to have a new perspective on every moment; I felt like in each moment I was exactly where I needed to be. And that was it. I was exactly where I was supposed to be in every moment, and what I took away from that was the importance of my presence. I belonged. By being present, I could give people the gift of my energy, of my charisma, my happiness. That alone was enough. I looked in the mirror and for the first time felt no judgment or condemnation, just happiness for being me.

    I came on this program because I wanted to get better with girls. I knew alumni from the past, so I knew how transformative this whole experience would be in every aspect of my life. I donít think you can fathom the difference in every person here over the last 21 days. I feel like Iím in a video game, and I have a 400x experience booster turned on. Everything that has transpired has so perfectly lined up to give an experience that cannot be replicated by anyone else. I am just so grateful to have the opportunity to be apart of this fantastic group of men.

  43. #43
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    Reflection on the inner game part

    This year, an extremely large part of the curriculum is devoted to inner game, as the program over the time has taken a gradual shift away from traditional game and more towards changing your life and self around to become the true man you can and always wanted to be. So this year for the Rockstar anniversary addition, there were 3 parts to inner game hosted by the head instructors, an inner game expert and spiritual people brought in to help us grow.
    We got a ton of theory from the fields of psychology and NLP on how the brain operates, how thoughts shape feelings and actions, how language dictates the way view the world and how changes in the language we use to talk to ourselves and others can literally change our lives. If you are feeling down, but keep telling yourself that life is awesome, your brain will not know what to make of that apparent contradiction. At first, it will react by making you feel tense and uncomfortable, but it will not be able to maintain that state for very long, so if you keep repeating to yourself that everything is just fucking awesome, your brain will eventually follow suit and make you accept that new awesomeness, thereby making it become reality. The story you keep telling yourself about your life will dictate your emotions. When 2 guys go to the same party and do the same stuff, but one says to himself that he is having the night of his life and the other tells himself that this all sucks, then those stories will be what they experience and remember. So, choose your stories and your self-talk wisely, because it will shape your reality. The same holds specifically for the questions you ask yourself, because your brain is primed to find answers to those questions. So, if you ask yourself: Why do things never getter better, then your brain will come up with reasons why it never will. But if instead you ask yourself: How can I make this experience even grander, then your brain will find ways to make exactly that happen. Takes a bit of training and conditioning, but it will eventually work, because thatís how our brain is built and because language is the most powerful tool we have.

    Everybody has conflicting needs Ė the need for safety and comfort that breed familiarity and the need for uncertainty and risk-taking that breed desire. To create desire, you need to be willing to take risks and create tension. Game is an oscillation between creating that tension and create a safe environment for her to let go of control in. Crazy stories happen because people take crazy risks.

    We also talked a lot about the stories we create about our own past and the people we meet. We do it constantly and subconsciously, and it take a conscious and vigilant effort to separate the factual events from our interpretation and stop labeling people. You can only be authentic to the people around you if you stop applying your own stories to their actions. Realizing that and applying it to the images we had formed about the other rockstars was one big step in bringing the group more closely together.

    We spoke at length about our basic needs for safety and significance, which create a mindset of scarcity (the ďsurvival modeĒ), versus growth and giving, which create a mindset of abundance (the ďlove modeĒ). The amount of happiness in your life is directly proportional to the amount of uncertainty you can handle, and joy comes more from sharing than from catering to your ego. To the brain, the fear of rejection is just a frightening as the fear of death Ė thatís what all the conformity and approach anxiety comes from. The key to being able to enter love mode is to be able to trust and love yourself. We did three daysí worth of exercises to expel a few of the major demons of every single rockstar that kept us from trusting and loving ourselves Ė a frightening, grueling and extensively emotional experience for everyone that left us all drained, but with new perspectives and hope. The feelings from the new place of love were then reinforced by conditioning exercises that we now keep doing on a daily basis for ourselves Ė remember, the mind is a muscle that needs to be trainedÖ Itís all about trust and self-love. Donít overcomplicate, just trust and take a leap of faith into your new reality.

    The last leg of the inner game days was devoted to spiritual development. The shamans we brought in taught us breathing exercises and with the help of songs from the Amazonian jungle, helped us enter deep states of trance and reach new states of consciousness within that trance to free us from pent-up emotions, have insights emanating from our subconscious that our rational brain could not have figured out and make breathtaking experiences that shattered our worldviews of what is possible. Itís truly amazing how many things you start seeing as mere mental or social constructs after these insights and how much your state and your behavior can change as the result of a single such insightÖ weíre still processing those experiences, so Iíll keep you posted.

  44. #44
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    13-Day Inner Game Intensive Reflection

    This is why I came on Project Rockstar.

    I understood from my first interaction with Love Systems and dating science that any sustained success with women, any healthy relationship has to starts from a place of clean inner game.

    I spent the first part of my twenties doing everything I could to perfect the outside image of myself. I manipulated everything I could think of in a way that I thought would be more attractive to women. I did this through working out, better hair cuts, better style and nicer clothes, and lately trying to build a more attractive lifestyle.

    The best analogy I've heard to describe this approach to dating is that itís like training for a marathon with ankle weights on. Itís good for training and it will make it easier when the marathon comes, but unless you take the weights off youíre not going to run the best marathon. My inner beliefs are the weights, and we've spent close to two weeks taking them off.

    I knew that the inner game work would be very challenging for myself and the rest of the Rockstar class, but I also knew it would be necessary if we wanted to take the next step in our lives and on our journies.

    4-Day Inner Game instruction with Project Rockstar Instructors.


    This is where we saw the foundation of what our entire adult lives had been built on.

    This first session of inner game instruction might have been one of the hardest hitting and most shocking days of anything weíve done so far on the program.

    We learned that we each have stories that weíve been telling ourselves for most of our lives, and a lot of these stories arenít healthy. Most of them come from childhood. Meaning weíve been telling ourselves these toxic stories that children made up for decades.

    I knew I had stories, but I never realized how they had been running my life. To come to the conclusion that a story I made up when I was six years old was my controlling my life was a blow to the gut.

    These two are the most relevant stories I identified, I feel they are the most important because they led me here.


    1. I am fat.
    Event: When I was 6 years old, I called out a kid in my first grade class (Sean) for fucking up a game we were playing in school. He burst our crying, pointed at me and called me fat ass then stormed out of the class.

    The story I created: I am fat. And that I shouldnít speak up in front of a group setting because I will have my insecurities pointed out in front of the group and laughed at.

    This has caused me to miss out on: A lot in my life. Itís caused me to put those insecurities to the forefront and let the fear of having someone call me out dictate my life.

    Itís caused me put up a shield and create a faÁade of someone that I think the entire group will like, even if itís not truly me. Itís caused me to be cautious and careful around new people. Itís caused me to avoid risks so that I could avoid ridicule and to avoid rejection.

    2. I am bad with girls

    Event: I was 16 and a girl I was friends with rejected me when I asked her out.

    I asked her to hang out and watch a movie via text (this is such bad game it makes me cringe) She shot me down, and then immediately texted her friend about it. But while she meant to text her friend she texted me by mistake, saying something like

    ďOmg HE just asked me to watch a movie thatís so awkward. I canít believe he would ask me to hang out.Ē

    The story I created: Being rejected sucks, itís humiliating and I shouldnít put myself out there. Especially when it comes to dating and women. Instead I should just take whatís given to me, and make sure that the girl REALLY likes me first.

    This has caused me to miss out on: A lot of connections in my personal life, mostly in the form of missed opportunities for what could have been fulfilling relationships. Itís cost me to lower my already muted self confidence and to turn inwards. It even cost me in my career and job opportunities from going after what I wanted and I thought I deserved but didnít pursue because I was worried I wasnít good enough.

    Each of us had a story that had been dictating our lives in some unhealthy way, during this four-day period we were given the tools to identify these things as stories that a CHILD made up. Seeing it this way was extremely powerful and Iíve felt liberated with the power to re-write these stories ever since.

    The second inner game tool we learned is Rackets.

    A racket is a personal issue we have with someone else, and itís usually brought up from a past story weíve created.

    In a group environment itís essential to recognize Rackets when they pop up, and deal with them accordingly. Otherwise we could be walking around harboring negative feelings for the people weíre living with. Which is toxic. This type of behavior could destroy the growth environment weíve built and worked so hard to maintain.

    We left seminar after this first day of inner game, and I looked like a ghost. A couple of the guys asked me if I was ok.

    I was O.K., I was just in shock trying to piece together my brain after I realized how the stories a 6 year old made up, had been running my life for two decades and how much it had cost me. Not to mention the dozens or hundreds of rackets I was running simultaneously.

    Going forward Iím working on recognizing these two things when they come up and doing my best not to give power to Rackets or Stories. Itís going to be a daily work in progress.


    6 Day 1-on-1 inner game sessions.


    The last four days weíre just a primer. The next nine were the meat of the inner game intensive program.

    We had a guest instructor join us for six days, and he spent two days breaking down how and why the stories were running our lives for so long. Then the next three days were spent working intensely with each of us 1-on-1 in front of the group.

    When it was my turn I told the story of Sean and how it had effected me. This was a double whammy for me, because it was particularly difficult for me to open up like that and be vulnerable in front of a group. After it was over I felt liberated because I had just slayed two demons at once.

    Hearing all the guys talk about some of the most traumatic experiences of their lives was emotionally draining, but it also brought us all closer as a group. I spend time with people Iíve known for years and I donít connect with them in the same way I am starting to feel bonds with these men.

    Towards the end of the six days together we started to re-write our stories. And I actually found a lot of good in whatís happened to me.

    For example:

    This rejection gave me the drive to better myself physically and mentally. It gave me the drive to create a daily fitness routine that culminated with me having a six pack before coming on Rockstar.

    Being dumped gave me the drive to seek coaching, and improve my social skills. If not for that I might not be on Rockstar. But here I am in Las Vegas getting coaching from some of the best in the world, and living with some of the most inspiring men I could imagine.

    If she never would have rejected me? I would have just fawned all over her forever. I donít even want to know what would have happened to me if I dated her, I would be fucked.

    If Sean never called me fat? Who knows maybe I would have been content being unhealthy?


    4 Day meditation retreat

    We took 4 days off (Mon-Thurs) for a meditation retreat at the mansion. Two amazing meditation shamans flew in to lead the ceremonies. We had the intentions of continuing the work weíve been doing over the last nine days, and dive a little bit deeper into what we discovered.

    A lot of us werenít really sure what to expect, but I think the overwhelming results speak for themselves. I stayed up until 5 am everynight sharing my experiences and talking with other guys about their mental breakthroughs and realizations. We were buzzing with natural energy after the ceremony, and each of us walked away with some profound takeaways about their lives and about themselves.

    Because of what happened to me when I was 6 years, I never really loved myself. But over this 4 day retreat, I learned how. And that was the best gift I could have ever been given. It is priceless.

    I saw so much, and learned even more so I'll keep it short.

    I got glimpses of what is possible once I learned to use love instead of fear as my motivation and fuel.

    A concept that was introduced to us early in the 6-day leg of the inner game intensive was Love vs. Fear. A lot of us, including myself are acting out of fear, and at the retreat I realized that my whole life in almost everything that Iíve done Iíve been motivated by fear. Sometimes this has yielded great results. But during the retreat I realized that thereís so much more potential by acting out of love instead of fear. Love is far more powerful. Thereís just no comparison.

    Fear caused me to be scared and as a result I wasnít using love in any aspect of my life. Itís impossible to create an abundance of anything if thereís fear, and itís hard to truly give to others because I never felt true love until this retreat.

    I was under the impression that I had a good relationship with myself. But before two days ago I donít know if I ever told myself that I loved me. It sounds weird and it feels weird to type, but it's something I'm going to start using on a daily basis.

    But in order to love, there must also be trust for yourself. We have to trust that Love is there and then act in it. I canít explain this, but over the last couple days I learned how to love myself and how to trust that I can create it and bring it back whenever I need to. It was pretty amazing.

    Along with love and trust I learned a couple smaller lessons about expectations. While we weíre meditating someone was making noise, and my first reaction was to think ďWow it would be nice if it wasnít so noisy right now.Ē

    Then I realized that expecting it to be quiet was creating an expectation for the moment. Instead of doing that I would be much happier if I were just to enjoy the moment for what it is, without expecting it to be one way or the other.

    This goes not only in meditation but in life.

    Looking back the meditation retreat was the perfect way to lock in all the growth and condition the tools that weíve learned over the last two weeks and make it the most power two week period of my life.

    I think I'm too close to the screen right now I can't see my own transformation, but I feel it.We were standing around in the kitchen talking about how itís been about 3 weeks out in the real world, while we've been on Rockstar it feels like our minds have aged about a year.

    I feel like a new person.

  45. #45
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    Update 5

    Tuesday Night I organised a trip out to the desert for some fireworks. Had a great time relaxing and setting fire to lots of pyrotechnics. At the end of the night we decided to burn our rubbish and clean up. I mentioned to my fellow rockstar I wondered if there was any unexploded fireworks left in the rubbish. A couple minutes later there is a massive explosion and there is missiles going everywhere. Oops I guess there was 1 of the big ones left.

    Wednesday night was challenging, we went to Surrender nightclub. Before the night I had a date organised but she flaked with radio silence. I was 15 mins late to the club and I had trouble getting a ticket from my fellow rockstars. Eventually after 45 mins standing outside I eventually get a ticket. I was pretty annoyed at both of my challenges. I was able to observe how easily a couple challenges early on in the night affects my mental state. I was pretty down for most of the night. I approached less girls on this night. I still did probably 15 or 20 but I wasnít felling the energy to approach. After reading the inner game of tennis book I was happy to just observe my sub optimal behaviours and not try too hard to over correct them.

    Thursday and Friday we had fantastic tables at Hakisan. Friday night was by far the best night of the program for me. Everything seemed to click into place, the night started in great state bantering with a few girls outside the club. We ran into the girls inside the club shortly after. We stayed with them for a while until they left, and then for the rest of the night every interaction seemed to go really well. I pretty much had one girl or another on my arm all night. I had the feeling of abundance, that even if I girl left our interaction I even got bold, I had been making out with one girl, and whilst holding her hand I started making out with her friend. I was hoping for a 3 way make out but the original girl cooled down a little. She wasnít annoyed or angry which was great, but I sensed she wasnít keen for sharing. I spent the rest of the night with the second girl. There was some complications at the end but it was a great experience skinny dipping and being naked with a girl that is 21 and Iím 38.

    Saturday and Sunday nights are XS. XS is a good place to practice your conversation skills since it has such a big outside area. Both nights I notice my state is average. When Iím low energy my conversation is often boring. On Sunday I meet a girl that is in the club by herself, her friend is back in the room sleeping off a big day at the pool party. Its rare to meet a girl by herself in the club so I spent longer than usual in this interaction. Usually friends = logistic obstacles. During the interaction we started talking about sex. I find out she is quiet inexperienced Ė she has only ever had sex in the bedroom or lounge room of her house. I trusted the process, worked on eye contact and also moved her around the club, first to the couch area, then introduced her to my friends. Soon after we did a quick dance on the dance floor and then I lead her out of the club. She casually asked ďwhere are we going?Ē and I told her Ė we are going somewhere quieter. At the uber line I had to make a decision. A car of rockstars was leaving and the girl was talking about getting some sleep. I pushed some boundaries and made the judgement that sex probably wasnít going to happen. She grabbed an uber back to her hotel and I grabbed a lift home with my mates.

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    10 day reflection

    To reflect and summarise the 10 day program in one word ďwowĒ.

    The program starts off at a fast pace and then only gets more intense as the days go on. The education is cumulative so it is super important not to miss a day.

    The first few days the program concentrates on outer game and is what most guys think they need help with. ďWhat do I say to girls ?Ē ďHow do I interact with them to make them like me ?Ē These are pretty standard questions many of us ask ourselves.

    First official night infield we just have normal conversations with girls. Often girls donít mind having a normal conversation, especially if you donít have an outcome dependence. Often after 20 or 30 mins they start to get bored.

    Next night the challenge is to test boundaries with women, escalate conversations sexually and flirty. Getting blown out by girls is ok, in fact encouraged. If youíre not getting blown out, youíre not pushing hard enough. It is an interesting learning experience because the boundaries are a lot wider than I thought. All of this is great reference experience for future interactions.

    Soon the program shifts into overdrive and the focus turns to becoming a better version of yourself. If you are yourself, then interactions become simple and natural. Often we have suboptimal parts of our lives that are holding us back. The 10 day program lets you work out on a personal level what things are holding you back in life.

    One of the aspects the program focuses on is sub communications and non verbal communication. Eye contact and touch are very powerful. Reflecting now I can now see how poor my sub comms were prior to this program. Often I would avoid eye contact with people both in a social setting and also business setting. No wonder I sometimes have people not trusting my judgement or advice Ė my eye contact or lack there of is communicating that Iím not someone that you can comfortably trust.

    Regarding touch I also learnt a lot, Iím guilty of having my hand rest on the side of a girlís tummy. This isnít a great feeling for the girl and communicates my weakness. The instructors gave tips on how to use superior touch that is much more appropriate for communicating with girls.

    Another thing I learnt during the 10 day is being an authentic version of yourself. No need to be fake Ė girls appreciate dealing with someone that is authentic, even if they have flaws that they own.

    The rest of the 10 day program is largely based on inner game. We dive deep into limiting beliefs that some of us have about ourselves and life in general. Eg girls donít like to have sex as much as guys. Girls arenít attracted to me because of xyz. Iím not enough because I was picked on in school and the kids told me I was worthless.

    It is interesting to see how many of us had very similar stories, and when we boiled it all down, it was just stories. It was purely how we perceived ourselves, not actual reality. Its tough challenging something you have thought of as ďfactĒ for as long as you can remember. One of my stories related to my dad leaving when I was 3 months old and how I blamed myself and never saw myself as ďenoughĒ. I saw myself as a reject. To be honest I thought this program was just going to help me bang hotter chicks, not do deep personal introspection. I soon learn, that if you donít fix yourself and love yourself fully, then no amount of tricks and tactics will be enough in the long run to hold a successful dating life.

    It feels great spending so much time working on myself to become the best version of myself Ė something Iíve never done previously. Girls will naturally be attracted to me, as a person that loves themselves fully.

    The group has really grown strong over the course of the 10 days. We all are in the same boat, facing the same challenges, and all coming through the other end as better people. Iím amazed at how physically different someone looks when they love themselves. Many of the days I couldnít stop smiling when I was looking around the room.

    Do i recommend doing the 10 day ? Absolutely !! Do the full Rockstar experience if you can, if not the next best thing is the 10 day.

  47. #47
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    Journal #7

    August 15, 2017ó Day Off

    My mom passed away almost five years ago, and today would have been her 53 birthday.

    There was a time when I would have preferred to be out at a club where thereís enough distractions that I wouldnít have to think about it as much, and I could forget about it for the time being. Weíre in the midst of a meditation retreat, so instead Iím going to do the healthy thing and think about her.

    My mom was a great woman and the first mentor Iíve had in my life, but I only really knew her as a teenager. Still the impact she had on me is the reason Iím here today.

    As a teenager I would get a little embarrassed of her especially around my friends, and she loved to tease me in a funny way. Since sheís passed Iíve felt guilty about that and many other things that I can't get answers to: Was I a good enough son? Did she know I loved her and looked up to her? Could I have taken better care of her? ETC

    When I saw that the retreat fell on her birthday I was expecting this to come up during our meditations. And it did. Today I was put face to face with my mom.

    We didnít talk per se, but we were communicating. I knew that I could understand her and she could understand me. We weíre smiling and dancing together. I wanted to apologize for all these things but for what ever reason the first thing that came up was the fact that I was embarrassed by her as a teenager. I wanted to tell her that Iím sorry, and now thereís nothing I would want more than for her to see me and to meet all of my new friends.

    Before I could communicate any of these thoughts something told me to stop.

    And told me that itís ok.

    ďYou donít have to apologize for anything, youíre an amazing son, and Iím very proud of you.Ē


    This is some deep shit. The moment was too profound for me to process as it happened, it was like being in a dream. But in the time after itís started to sink in more and more and after talking with some of the other guys I realized how powerful it was.

    Thereís something to be said about the fact that I can talk about an event like this around this group. Before I wouldnít have felt comfortable sharing or talking about my momís death with even my closest friends. Yet here I am telling a bunch of dudes I just met and writing about it on the internet. I could have never expected this when I signed up. But itís an amazing aspect of the program.

    Love you Mom.

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    Friday Aug 11 Entry

    Yesterdayís seminar was very intense. Six of us were chosen for ďInterventionsĒ. We were asked to share our old story with the group. I shared my deepest darkest demon with the group. That I had been sexually molested when I was a boy of 7 years old. Sharing that with the group was emotionally intense. Standing there, in front of twenty of my brothers, I spoke to the seven year old me. I told him that I love him, and not to worry, because everything is ok now. Nothing can hurt him now.

    I have spent years punishing myself for something that was not my fault, and really had nothing to do with me at all. Yesterdayís experience taught me that I already am the man I have been trying for so long to become. All I really have to do from now on is just love myself. I have lived with the suffering for long enough, and now itís time to put it down and move on.

    Because yesterday was such an intense release of emotion, it was suggested that I take the night off from going out. I took the suggestion and enjoyed a rare quiet night in.

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    Monday Aug 14 Entry:

    Yesterday’s seminar was more “Demon Slaying”.

    Night Out Saturday Encore XS

    I was apprehensive about going out. I have been dwelling in my head quite a bit these last few days. I was doubtful that I would be able to manage my state. My assignment and goal was simply just to have fun. It seemed like it was going to be an insurmountable task. I really didn’t want to go out. The old me certainly wouldn’t have gone out. But we’re done with that guy. I recently heard the quote, “Man’s greatest victory is victory over himself.” I have come to realize that I am the only one standing in my way. If I can somehow manage to get out of my head and get into the flow of a peak state on a consistent basis, the whole world opens up to me. I will continue to improve on this.

    Jasper gave me a pep-talk prior to going into the club. “Talk to everyone. No hesitation. Start early with many brief interactions. End them before they have a chance to close out. Move on to the first one you see immediately. If there isn’t one in your immediate vicinity, start walking until you do see one. About mid-way through the evening, confidence was high. This sexy dark-skinned woman caught my eye. I approached immediately, staring deeply into her eyes. I pulled her away from her friends to take a walk around the club. Within 2 minutes, her hand is on my cock and my hand is up her dress. I grabbed her hand and went to pull her into the mens room for a quick bang. She simply would not go, but was not mad at me for trying.

    Yesterday Seminar: More Demon Slaying

    Night Out Sunday Aug 13

    Was able to get off to a good start and have a few solid interactions early. Felt in the flow for a while. I tried to be bold early by attempting to lead her to a different part of the club. I’m not sure what happened or how, but I began to lose my state fairly early . I tried with Jasper to get it back, but to no avail. It felt like every interaction from then on, I was just banging my head against a wall. I wasn’t having any fun, so I went home. This story of my being too old to be doing this shit is alive and well in my head. It seems like it’s just simple math. A high percentage of girls in the club just aren't interested in somebody my age. It doesn’t seem like Vegas is going to be very kind to me. Fuck it. I’m moving to Asia.

  50. #50
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    10 Day Reflection:

    Essentially, the first ten days of seminar is all about the “mechanics” of interacting with women. Learning how to do what normally just comes naturally for humans. For some reason, be it our upbringing, society or culture, we have forgotten how to have this conversation with women. This “Dance” with women.

    Through the course of 10 days we have covered the following topics: The different parts of communication including: Verbal, Non-Verbal - body language, sub-communications, physical touch, eye-contact, proximity. to have normal conversation with women, How to have fun and flirty conversation with women. How to have sexual conversation with women, How to oscillate between normal conversation, and fun & flirty conversation, How to spike sexual tension with sexual conversation. The concept of pressure on / pressure off.

    All of these things are the tools we use to have a conversation. Using these tools is a skill that can be learned. The nights out have been about practicing these skills, much like shooting free-throws and practicing dribbling. The idea is to get so smooth with these skills that it becomes something that you no longer have to think about. It just becomes instinctual and natural.

    Much like learning how to drive for the very first time in a car with a stick-shift. You learn the very basics: This is the accelerator. This is the break. This is the steering wheel. This is the clutch. This is the stick-shift. This is how you shift between gears while controlling the speed and direction of the vehicle, to get you both where you want to go.

    If you think about driving in these terms, it is an incredible amount of information to process. Driving a car is a highly complex process. It is very jerky and clunky in the beginning. Once you learn it however, it just happens naturally. You don’t even really think about it. It seems as natural as breathing. You can do other tasks like talking, eating, reading and writing simultaneously while driving.

    Another metaphor is learning how to snow ski. It is a highly technical process with lots of moving parts. The terrain is never the same. You can’t predict what obstacles will come up, be it rocks, trees or other skiers. However, once you become proficient enough, you gain the confidence of knowing that you can successfully make it to the bottom of the hill every time.

    The first 10 days of Rockstar has been described as “Drinking through a firehose”. There is just SO MUCH information in such a short period of time. It is very difficult to keep up. Sometimes, it feels like none of this stuff is sticking. One night, you feel like you have it down a little. The next night, everything seems foreign. I have to remind myself sometimes that this program is a marathon, not a sprint.

    The “Model” was revealed to us. The concept is that there is an upper threshold (Sexual) and a lower threshold (Depth/warmth) that open up over time. (or close out over time.)

    The idea is that the various forms of communication are used to open up the thresholds wide enough for a long enough period of time for sex to occur.

    To oversimplify, verbal conversation is used to demonstrate to her that the sex will be good and she will not be judged. Non-verbal communication is used simultaneously to turn her on. Once she is in a judgement-free zone and super turned on, all you need is a place where sex can reasonably occur and it’s game-on.

    That’s where logistics comes in. Simply put, logistics is just removing all the obstacles between the two of you engaging is sex. These obstacles can be the people she came to the club with, getting her out of the club and into a taxi, finding a place where the two of you can be alone together, getting her alone in a bedroom (or closet)

    We learned that sex can happen much quicker than we ever thought possible before. Not only the same night you meet a woman, but even within 10 minutes is possible. When a judgement free zone has been created, you’ve gotten her turned on and you bring her into your “bubble”, sex can happen immediately.

    The 10 day period is a time of shattering preconceived notions of how women view sex. The truth is that women want and enjoy sex just as much if not more than men. It sucks that we live in a culture where women are much more likely to be judged for it.

    I still feel very much like I am in the “clunky, jerky” phase of learning the mechanics. I know all the moves and how to use them. Now, I think it’s just a matter of getting in enough “reps” to get smooth with all this stuff.

    My goal is to relax and enjoy the process, while pushing as hard as I can. My goal going out each night is to have fun, first and foremost. I am focussed on the process, not the results. If I have fun and work the process, the results will take care of themselves.

  51. #51
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    Journal 1

    Journal 1 August 3, 2017
    Another long night. It was a fun night at Surrender nightclub. This is my third visit to Vegas and my first time to surrender. It was a really cool club and they had a night swim. The DJ was supposed to be marsh mello but he canceled so it was a house DJ. I really didnít come for the DJ so it really didnít matter to me. I did however use this to my advantage for banter. After opening a girl or group with you are cute or whatever and chat them up a little I would ask them if they were a marsh mello fan. Most were and then I would give them the news he canceled and they were like what? I could really see the disappointment in some of their eyes. I then would tell them he got the box he wears on his head stuck sideways and thatís why he couldnít make it. It got a good laugh and then I would transition and try to escalate the conversation.
    I made numerous approaches and got several numbers, which doesnít mean anything but itís great practice. I escalated with several girls pretty quick but it never lead to anything. There was a group of guys there from a pick up artist class which did not help matters any. I think every girl in the club was approached at least half a dozen times. My approach game is pretty solid bit I need to work on the other aspects like eye contact touching and push pull. One step at a time. Approaching is half the battle so I have to keep patting myself on the back every time I approach, instead of thinking I failed because the interaction didnít lead to anything. Like some of the other rockstars and I discussed, there arenít really many men that even have the guts to approach a girl, much less a really attractive one. I have to keep pushing forward and work on the other aspects after approach and I will be that much closer to becoming the man I want to be.

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    Journal 2

    Journal 2 August 5, 2017
    Iím thankful for nights off. Thursday night we had a night off and it was a great chance for everyone to have some bonding time. We had a cookout and grilled burgers. This was a dramatic change from grilled chicken and fish that we had all been eating. Everyone had a really great time and became a little more familiar with each other. We discussed our travel plans after Vegas and chilled by the pool. The mansion we are staying in has the ultra cookout/party atmosphere.
    Friday night we were on it again, XS night swim. I didnít swim but itís always a more relaxed atmosphere and an opportunity to dress casually. Really fun night, bantering with girls and hanging out with the other rockstars. I talked to several girls and had a great time. There was no pressure since our instructions for the night was to have a normal conversation and a good time. I hung out with a former rockstar who had met a cute girl in a casino bar, the best looking girl ever according to him. His problem was he didnít remember her name. I agreed to wing with him and ask her name so he would get it. We went to the bar and accomplished our goal and got her name. She wouldnít give him her number but told him where she worked and told him to come by. In the mean time I had my eye on the host working that night. I asked the former rockstar how Iíd go about getting her number but he wasnít sure, he hadnít been out in over a year. I approached her, shot the shit a little while, made some jokes and got the number. Getting a number isnít a significant deal but itís a start and good practice.

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    Journal 3

    Journal 3 August 7, 2017
    A great weekend it was. We went out to XS nightclub Saturday and Sunday night. The Chainsmokers were performing Sunday night. What a crowd. They put on a damn good show as well. They are one of my favorite performers in Vegas. Hot girls everywhere as usual. As soon as we get into the casino I start approaching girl. I didnít expect anything from them, just wanted to get warmed up so when we got inside I would be loosened up. I get inside approach a few more girls and then meet up with my coach for the night. He is super cool and funny. He told me he had been watching me and didnít really think he had to tell me anything because I was already doing what he expected. This made me feel good and I wanted to go even harder. Another rockstar and I had been texting back and forth in the club when and giving each other updates and messages if we needed to wing for one another. I get the message that he has a girl and a friend so I go and introduce myself to the friend. She is from Florida and I went to The University of Tennessee so of course I teased her about football. We hit it off pretty well and about 5 minuted into conversation we tell them we are going to the house and swimming. We just grab them by the hand and lead them out. We get a cab and I talk about everything under the sun just to keep conversation flowing because it is about a 15 minute ride back to the house. Some of the momentum we built started to fade a little. We get them to the house and head straight to the pool. They turned from playful girls into serious mode. We couldnít get them into the pool and they finally dangled their legs in the Jacuzzi. They complained it wasnít hot enough, which I agree but we arenít supposed to adjust the thermostat. After hearing them complain we took the inside and resorted to plan B, a game of twister. We played twister to add a little fun but that just faded and they left after a while. I wasnít really disappointed, the one I was with started being annoying so I didnít mind seeing her go.

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    Journal 4

    Journal 4 August 9, 2017
    A great couple of days and incredible nights have went by. We went to Marquee nightclub. As an added bonus we had a bungalow rented. Unfortunately the outside area by the pool was closed which provided easy access to the bungalow. This made it a little more difficult to bring girls back due to the fact you had to walk all round the club through the hall to the elevator past two guards who check you r id then finally to the bungalow. It was extremely loud in the club which made it difficult but not impossible to talk to girls. You had to rely a lot on subcomms and body language. I spotted a really hot girl with an exotic look about her by the elevator about to leave. I approached her told her how cute she was. She smiled and I could tell it was a green light. We kissed in about 20 seconds into the interaction. I pulled her up to dance but she was bare footed and wanted to put on her shoes. I gave her a chance to put her shoes on then lead her to the dance floor. The dance floor was so packed I had to lead her to a side area beside the bar so we could dance. We danced and she was all over me. We kissed and I was rubbing her body and grabbing her ass. I had her all tore up and told her lets go to my bungalow to have a drink. She agreed so I lead her out and we set out on the long trek to the bungalow. I took her in showed her the best view in Vegas and of course took her to the Jacuzzi. We made out a while and then I started undressing her. She had to go to the other balcony and get her phone to check on her friends, which she ditched at the club. She said she would be right back so I waited for her while I was stripped down naked. I knew she would be back because she left her shoes lying beside the Jacuzzi. She came back and we played in the Jacuzzi then had amazing sex in the Jacuzzi overlooking the club. We went back inside and had a drink with the others that had made their way back. We went outside so she could smoke and started making out again. I lead her up to the bedroom where we had sex again on the bed for what seemed to last hours. We went back down had another drink then hung out with the others a while longer. We split an uber ride back, dropped her off and I went back to the mansion. It was a night to remember. I still talk to her and plan on going to France to visit her when I have a chance.

  55. #55
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    Journal 5

    Journal 5 August 11, 2017
    Things are going great out here. I was a little worried for the first few days out here. At first I was not getting the success I wanted and started seeing a lot of the guys hooking up. I started to get worried I wasnít progressing fast enough. It was a little slow but Iím progressing. We went to Surrender Beach Club and saw The Chain Smokers Thursday night. It was an awesome show. They are one of my favorites to see and bring in a crowd of hot girls. I made a ton of approaches and have that part pretty well down. I have learned to take selfies with the girls then get their numbers. After several approaches, a make out session or two and a phone full of numbers I met a hottie that was totally into me and loved my accent. We danced and kissed then I tried to find a private place in the club to bang but it just wasnít happening. I wanted to take her to the bathroom in the club but the security guard on duty wasnít having it. Finally at the end of the night I realized I had a key to the car, I could have took her to the car instead of wasting half the night looking for a place. My next obstacle was getting her away from her friend who I was calling mother bear. Her friend was not having her leave with me. I tried to have one of the other rockstars wing for me but mama bear wasnít having it. I kept joking with the friend and being persistent. I told her it was a bad neighborhood and I needed her friend to walk me to the car so I wouldnít get mugged. She finally gave in and let us go. Freedom at last. I took her to the car and she told me it was her birthday. I told her I was going to make it the best birthday ever. We got to the car and she said we had to make it fast because she told her friend, mother bear that we would be right back. That was fine with me. We did what we set out to do and I walked her back to her friend. I got her number and plan on seeing her when this trip is over. The night wasnít quiet over. I knew a girl staying at the Linq that wanted me to come over so I had the guys drop me off there. I met her and her friend, went to the bar and had a couple drinks, water for me. I tried to organize a threesome but they said they worked together and wouldnít be able to look at each other the same. I should have been more persistent but there wasnít any need to be greedy. I had already been with a hot girl less than an hour before and here I was about to bang another one. We went up to her room and had a really great session for a couple of hours while her friend went off and had a drink with a random guy she met earlier. A great night to say the least and I learned persistence pays off.

  56. #56
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    Journal 6

    Journal 6 August 14, 2017
    Things are heating up in Vegas. Hakkasan Nightclub, Tiesto was the DJ and he brought in one hell of a crowd. We had a table right above the dance floor. It was an ideal situation. Everyone was in a good state and having a great time. We roamed around the club for a while making as many approaches as possible. After many approaches I found some girls from Ireland, really hot and cool enough to bring to the table for drinks and to hang out a bit. We got on the table and danced a while. The one I wanted was really into me and was rubbing all over me turning me on. We danced and had a few steamy make out sessions. She was getting pretty drunk and wanted another drink. I told her we would get one in a few minutes and she got kind of bitchy. She thought the table below us was the one we were at so she gets down but itís at the wrong table. I didnít care I was having a good time. I started dancing with another girl and looked down and saw her kissing another guy. I laughed it off, it totally made the other guyís day. She looked up at me while I was dancing with the other girl and wanted back on the stage but I just laughed and kept doing my thing. Later that night I saw someone on the dance floor fall and after a closer look I saw it was her, she was drunk af, thatís why I didnít want to make her another drink. I told one of my fellow rockstars to go with me and find some more girls to bring to the table. As soon as we stepped off into the aisle to roam around I ran face to face with a gorgeous girl and immediately grabbed her hand and started talking to her. She was really cool so I pulled her and her friend on to the table and we chilled and talked a while. One of the rockstar alumnus was really wanting her but I wasnít letting him get a chance. My thought was he should go find his own girl. I already saw him prey on some other guys girls and successfully take a couple from the current rockstar boys. We danced a while and I took her hand and put it in all the right places on my body. We kissed and my friend winged me and danced with her friend. After a while she said they were going to the bathroom to do some blow and didnít want me to judge them. I said go for it, I could care less. She said she would be right back, but after 15 minutes we left. I sent her a text saying it was good to meet her and we were going to an after party. She said she wanted to come but I wasnít going to beg her. The next night she met me at XS and we had a great time together. I brought her back to the mansion and we christened my bed in really good. I still talk to her and plan on seeing her again.

  57. #57
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    Journal 7

    Journal 7 August 16, 2017
    Itís been a relaxed couple of days. We have been prepping for a group meditation exercise. We have cut out all protein powders, processed foods, caffeine, and have been eating really clean for this exercise. It has been extremely challenging, especially to the coffee drinkers. Thank goodness I donít drink coffee. We havenít gone out in a couple nights and this has given me a chance to get a few things done. I caught up on laundry, went shopping and bought some clothes, dropped some clothes off at the dry cleaners and got caught up on some much needed sleep. The meditation exercises were very enlightening. We all bonded very closely and had different experiences. Some of the alumni came over to the house and we spent the night meditating which was a new experience for me. It was really spiritual to say the least. I feel like a brand new man. I feel I could eat a whole pizza or two by myself but Iím determined not to fall off the wagon. I think we all plan on having a cheat meal pretty soon. We have been following, at least most of us, a pretty strict diet. The only thing close to a dessert during this whole program I have had is a protein drink, talk about motivation. We havenít had to go to seminar this past couple of days which has been really nice. Itís going to be hard to get back into the swing of things. I am looking forward to see what is in store for the next few classes. We are going to change directions and focus less on game from the sound of the instructors. I liked studying game but in order to be the best man you can be you have to know other aspect of life as well

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    10 Day Reflection

    10 Day Reflection August 15, 2017
    The ten day boot camp is officially over. It was an intense but fun four days. Day one we covered what masculinity was. Masculinity is far different than what most people including myself think it is. It is having a fear and doing it anyway. Basically facing your fears. This is something I do already before this program so I believe I have a jump start on masculinity. Now we just got the news yesterday that we are going to go skydiving, it is mandatory. I am super excited but I know when I board that plane and they open that door Iíll be nervous to say the least. I plan on screaming out masculinity at the top of my lungs then taking the plunge. Then again I might be speechless and unable to say a word. Either way Iím coming out of that plane. Another thing about masculinity is voicing your opinion. This is something I often hold back to avoid indifference or conflict. I will no longer be that guy. Being brutally honest with a girl is another characteristic of masculinity. This is another thing I need to work on and be more aware of. Many times I find myself agreeing with her or expressing a similar opinion even when it is a lie. This was the old me and will no longer be an issue. Our first night out we went to XS nightclub and were instructed to just approach girls and have normal conversation. This was actually harder than I thought, I am used to being flirtation and trying to take the girl home instead of just having normal conversation. It was a good experience and I enjoyed the exercise. Day two we covered body language. I have done some training and read a lot about body language. The class reminded me that 55% of communicating is through body language. I try to always beware of my posture. Before I started studying game I was really not aware of my posture, except when my mom would remind me to sit up straight and stop slouching. I always keep body language in the back of my mind now particularly in an interaction with a girl. I also feel a lot prouder when I walk and sit straight with my shoulders back. People notice you more and take you serious as well. This is helpful not only with talking to girls but in any situation. Day three was flirtation. This is something I have always been pretty good with but had a hard time moving it forward and escalating. We went to Surrender Beach Club and it was a swim party. I worked on my flirtation skills with almost every girl, attractive or not, that I saw. Had a great time, got a few numbers, had some make-out sessions but didnít manage to pull any girls back to the mansion. The next day we covered more on flirting and being vulnerable. Before studying self-improvement and game I thought being vulnerable was a sign of weakness. I realize it is in fact a sign of strength. This is something I need to continue to work and improve on. Too many times I get caught up in the macho BS trying to impress friends and others. The following seminar was text game and same night lays, topics I was very interested in. I learned a lot of things I was doing wrong when it comes to texting. I used to never send emojiís then read not long ago where you should always use emojiís. In this class we were taught not to use emojiís and if you do, very rarely. I learned how to return texts to girls that just give short texts or not much content. This was helpful because many girls just send one word texts or ones without much content. The next seminar was a very healthy one. It dealt with creating rackets. Which are basically stories you create for yourself or others. These can be limiting beliefs and will hold you back from having a fulfilled life. I have created many rackets about myself that I didnít even realize. Rackets such as I am not good enough, I am a boy and not a man, I havenít accomplished enough in my life and just other BS lies that have been holding me back. I realize I have also created rackets about others that might not be true. I have found out by getting to know some of my fellow rockstars that some of the rackets I created about them were definitely not true. This opens up my mind and allows me to want to get to know someone before I create a racket. Being authentic was the next topic. I have really not struggled with this one. I have had people tell me I was a genuine person. This made me feel good then and I really feel proud to be authentic now. The next day we discussed winging. I wish my friends from home could have attended this session, they are the worst wings ever. It seems they would rather try and block you and mess up an interaction than see you successful. I really need to reevaluate my friends. After this program is over I plan on moving and with this strong of a network Iím convinced I will find better wings to go out with. The next topic was teasing. This comes natural to me in many situations. I did have to be reminded to tease when talking to a girl though. Itís funny how you forget things even though you are good at them if you havenít used that skill in a while. I do find it harder to tease the girls I am most attracted to. The instructors advised me to just pretend like Iím talking to an ugly girl, but that is easier said than done. We also touched on gratitude. Gratitude is something I definitely need to work on. I have all these amazing gifts I take for granted. A lot of times it takes me actually seeing someone that does not have these gifts to be thankful for mine. I am going to strive to give thanks every day for what I have been blessed with. By far the most emphasis was placed on inner game. This is something the majority of people struggle with. I realized this after hearing everyoneís stories. Many times I thought I wasnít good enough, athletic enough, smart enough, cool enough, and I could go on and on. That is crap though. All this was in my head. I am good enough and if anyone cannot see that, it is their loss. I realized I had things happen to me as a child that held me back and now I can be free of those things. Over all the ten day has been about being a better version of myself. I am going to be the best version of myself every day and the rest will fall in place.

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    Inner Game Reflection

    Inner Game Reflection August 16, 2017
    The ten day bootcamp and inner game seminar has come to a close. I have learned a lot about myself and the other rockstars. Inner game is something I have studied for a while but never his intensely. I read the Inner Game of Tennis and it shed light on many things I did not realize. Your confidence has a lot to do with inner game and confidence drives women crazy. Without really even realizing it I have struggled with inner game for years. We had a life coach come in and work with the group and each of us individually. He help us discover some inner demons that had held us back that we didnít realize. My inner game was effected due to how my sister treated me when I was a kid. I didnít know this would have an effect on me into my adult life. The life coach helped us out and understand what might be potentially holding us back. It was inspiring and sad to see the demons some of my fellow rockstars had been harboring for years. There was a lot of sad and funny stories as well. There was a whirlwind of emotions in the room. Many guys were in tears telling their stories, but you could see relief come over their faces when they let all their anger out bottled up inside them. I had a great childhood, especially when I heard some of the stories from these guys. A couple from the group had been molested, lost mothers and fathers at an early age, and had some horrifying stories. I felt sorry for these guys and extremely thankful that I didnít have anything horrifying happen to me growing up. My sister tormented me but thatís a blessing compared to what some went through. When it came my time to vent I was nervous. A scene went through my mind involving my sister when I was a kid. I let all of the anger I had in me out. It felt really good after it was over. Combining this exercise with the meditatin exercise I made many break through. I discovered many times I felt alone and not loved. I also realized my sister felt unloved and that is the reason she acted the way she did toward me growing up. There I no doubt in my mind that we were loved but as a child you think differently. I felt more like a man after the inner game and meditation seminars and no longer like a boy. Even some of my fellow rockstars said I looked different. I definitely feel different. It was a re-invention of myself. I am determined girls and others will see me in a different light as well and this will be very advantageous for me. I feel like I got a whole semesterís worth of information in just 13 classes. I have full faith in the instructors, but the way they have organized the classes with inner game being a main focus, I trust them even more. We have not gone out since we had the group meditation but I am definitely looking forward to when we do. Iím convinced I will have major break throughs in the upcoming days. I have had the weight of not being good enough and not being viewed as a man on my shoulders for many years. It feels great to be free of that, I swear I think Iím an inch taller. Everyone in the house is getting along great and we have all became closer. I have witnessed some major change in some of the rockstars in just a few days. I canít wait to see the final result. Hearing the stories from some of the rockstar alumnae how they changed is very inspiring. Itís hard to picture some of these guys as awkward and not cool. I wish I had completed this program in my twenties, of course back then you couldnít convince me I needed any kind of training. I was young, wild and decent enough to be mildly successful with the ladies. I was also too dumb and stubborn to realize how much I could benefit from a program like this. I am at the age now where I know time is valuable and I want to gain as much knowledge as I can and have everything I can in my corner. These last 13 days have given me some of the necessary tools to achieve my goals. I want to hook up with beautiful girls of course, but one day I want to meet someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Looking back at the beginning of the program, which was less than two weeks ago, I feel I have grown considerably. I donít feel like I am the same person even. Itís going to be interesting to see how my friends and family at home react to the new me. Itís going to be hard to go back and hang out with the friends I have at home. I see how toxic some of them are now and have no desire to go back to them. The friends I have met here are my friends for life. I really have no desire to go back to my old life. I want to move and start a new life. This program is providing me with the necessary tools to relocate anywhere I want and thrive. I would love to come out here to Vegas and live and keep working on game. I can always go back home but I know I will feel empty and unaccomplished if I go back now. This program has introduced me to over twenty guys with like minds that I can call my friends. Most people are lucky to have one good friend in their life. I now belong to a global network where I will have contacts all over the world. Iím confident that between all the rockstars there is someone that will know someone in all walks of life. That is very powerful and can help you get to pla

  60. #60
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    13 Day Inner Game Intensive Reflection

    Where to even begin. The person I was 13 days ago is so different to who I am today. It feels crazy to say that in less than two weeks I’ve undergone deep change and literally started re-wiring my brain. The person I was 13 days ago, while still me, was one which was overly concerned with what other people think, constantly trying to make people like me, inauthentic, lost in life, unsure of himself, lacked true inner power, had unhealthy internal dialogue, was riddled with negative stories and beliefs, and had an insatiable need for significance and certainty which got in the way of love, caring and giving. I’d put up walls to hide my true self from my partners, my friends, my family. I’d lived my life through a story of I’m not enough, that I hate myself, despite all the marvellous things I’d done in my life and how much I had to give. How I got to realise all this, and change it, was a journey only Rockstar could give.

    Inner game 4 day

    We started with the 4 inner game days of the 10 day bootcamp. At the time, these days were great and very impactful. Looking back though, they were merely a running start to what followed. We discussed the fact that lives are essentially ruled by fear, and that there’s always a plateau and more levels. It could always be worse and it could always be better, so the inner game journey starts with recognising and being grateful for what we have in front of us. We live in three realities, the past, the present and the future; the past and the future, however, don’t exist – we create those realities in our minds. The inference here is that we can choose what meaning we attach to events; reconsidering events as neither good nor bad, they just are, allows you to choose how you want to perceive it. Lost your job? Worst thing ever, or the best opportunity to open new possibilities. Girlfriend left you? You could think ‘how could she do this to me’ or ‘thank you for the gift you’ve given me, now I can work on myself and grow even more’. We attach meaning to events through stories. By recognising the stories we tell ourselves, that have defined our lives, and being able to rephrase them, we change our deep beliefs. I had a number of stories related to my parents divorcing and making me feel insignificant, being pressured as a kid to achieve even when I didn’t enjoy whatever it was leading to a feeling of not being enough, being bullied leading to a feeling of worthlessness and body issues. The funny thing with each of these stories is that they have given me great strength in my life, have pushed me to achieve, and are the reason I am who I am today, in a positive sense. Redefining these stories was powerful.

    Another significant concept is that most people are living with rampart inauthenticity. Most people, and I was one, are chameleons, because we think people will like us, but the big fucking joke is that it makes them like you less. They can sense you aren’t being real with them, and in return they put up walls and aren’t real with you. And we carry this into relationships; how can they last than more than just a few months when it’s just two people hiding their authentic selves from each other. The way to get the best friendships and relationships with women is to be real and open up, and doing so you can have authentic connection. People carry the inauthenticity with them because of fear of judgement, they’re trying to look good and never to look bad in front of everyone.

    Sam Badger, as a special guest, did an amazing seminar on the importance of state, mental fitness, feeling good, and having gratitude. We can change our state, in any part of life, by using our physiology, being careful with the language we choose (language is so powerful in itself, we could write books on that alone), choosing our focus (and on the things we can control), noting the stories we tell ourselves. At any given time there’s 100 things that are terrible you can think of, and 100 things that are positive, so focus on the positive. Furthermore, a big one I’ve had change my life, is standing guard over your own mind and controlling the information that goes in (e.g. eliminate sources of negativity, THE NEWS). At the end of this, writing out a list of all the reasons I’m a great guy and the gifts I have to give people around me was effective in moving my mind to change to believe it. I sat back and realised I’m a pretty fucking awesome guy and I’ve done some pretty great things in my life.

    6 day inner game with guest instructor

    The first 4 days were an excellent primer for this phase. We spent the first part laying the framework for the way the mind works, how we work as humans. Essentially we live in three states, between our conscious mind, unconscious and within our body. The reason it’s so hard to address trauma or the deep seated issues, because they aren’t in the logic mind. At best, they’ll be in the subconscious, but more commonly they’re stored in the body and cannot therefore be dealt with via ‘logic’. Furthermore, our logic mind isn’t very accurate; it has literal blind spots and actively filters our information it assumes is unimportant, pays attention to information you tell it is important (like buying a new red BMW, then seeing everyone with the same car), it creates stories around events, it chooses language, and it asks questions. All of these things are continually influencing the subconscious.

    On the of the biggest takeaways from this 6 day period was that humans live in either war mode or peace mode. In war mode, or survival mode, we are driven motivated by the need for significance and safety, which put’s us into a place of scarcity. It is an effective way to live, as it motivates in many ways, but the fundamental problem with living in this mode is that it requires dissatisfaction and pain to motivate growth and improvement. It’s two steps forward and one step back, your entire life. This is why I had always been achieving and never been happy once I get there, and I’d drift for months or years until I found enough pain to force more growth. But there’s an alternative. The alternative is the peace mode, or love. Living from love motivates action through the need to give and grow. It’s giving from a genuine place of expecting nothing in return, you just give because that’s who you are. People often give, but they’re doing it so the can get something back, feel more significant, get more safety, etc, and that’s not giving; that’s trading.

    We each had an intervention where we had the opportunity to deal with some demons, and mine was very impactful. I had been living my life with a feeling like nothing I did would ever be good enough, I wasn’t worthy of being in the drivers seat of my life, I had to do things because it’s what everyone else wants or so I could impress or make other people happy. I was driven by significance and safety, even though I was miserable because I just wanted to be the loving, caring and giving man that I know I can be. After my intervention, while I’ve still got to keep working on it, I’m finally able to live from a place of being genuinely loving, caring and giving. These changes take conditioning, and I’m taking it very seriously to keep maintaining my new approach to life. I feel lighter, like a whole new world has opened up to me and I can see so much more effortless joy in life.

    During this period we also talked a lot about masculinity, women, and relationships. Every discussion came from a place of love. We were shown how simple and powerful it is to just exist in our masculine. We celebrated the beauty of the feminine, and sat back in amazement of the differences between men and women, talking about and appreciating all the reasons women are incredible, mind blowing and amazing. When you can talk to women from the perspective of complete love for women and appreciation, acceptance that they’re essentially aliens (operate completely different to us), and give them what they need from your masculine place, that’s all it takes to be a great person and have genuine interactions and relationships.

    During this 6 days I rewrote the story I had told myself about my ex girlfriend who moved on while I was on deployment (didn’t tell me) and left me hanging in the dark. At the time, it was the worst I have ever felt in my life. But I rewrote the story to what it really was; a blessing. Without such a painful gift, I would not have embarked on such a relentless period of growth, would have never met a key person back home, never gotten onto Rockstar, and would never be sitting here writing this journal as a completely different person surrounded by a heap of amazing human beings. I am so thankful that happened, it was the biggest gift I’ve ever received.

    3 day meditation retreat

    For the final 3 days of the inner game intensive, we held a meditation retreat at the house. The two visiting teachers were amazing humans, when talking with them you can just feel their energy, the way they’re able to connect and look at life with love. Their singing was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced in my life, and it’s still running in my mind. We were given the opportunity to work through our minds on so many levels. For me, my main questions were to work out how to connect more, understand my purpose in life, the meaning of life, and how to find ‘her’ (‘her’ representing the lifemates/soulmates, whether they be a woman, or great friends to share the journey with). I had so many breakthroughs. This experience was the most important, beautiful, impactful thing I’ve ever done in my life. It really feels like there’s my life prior to this inner game intensive period, and the rest of my life afterward. I learned so much about myself, the universe, where I’m going with my life. I’m comfortable with myself, who I am. I’ve realised my purpose in life is to be the shepherd, to light the path and guide travellers along the way. I felt this massive sensation of overflowing love, and experienced how much I have to give. My relationships with friends, family, and women is already completely different. I cant wait to integrate all of these insights and feelings, and see what paths open up in the future because of the massive internal changes I’ve made.

    I am so grateful for everything I’ve been able to experience in life so far, and particularly in this program. I have so much love for the people around me, my peers, the instructors, the alumni, all the teachers we’ve had. There’s still so much to go on Rockstar and I know we’re all destined for great things.

  61. #61
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    13 Day Inner Game Reflection

    It seems like weeks ago that we started delving into Inner Game. It all seemed to start with the concept of “Rackets”. A racket is a story that we tell ourselves about the meaning we give to something that happened to us. Something that happened early in our childhood, or maybe later in life. The stories we tell ourselves about what happened can literally influence our entire lives.

    For years, I felt guilt, shame and unworthy of love because of stories I used to tell myself. I let that guilt, shame and sense of unworthiness lead me down a destructive path into alcohol and drug addiction. Even after I got sober, I told myself a story about how the traumatic events I experienced in my life had scarred me forever. Limiting me somehow from experiencing all the love, joy and freedom that life has to offer.

    For years, I unknowingly was wearing all those scars as a badge of honor. I didn’t know then that I gleaned a sense of significance from the things that I survived. As we got deeper and deeper into inner game, we learned how to unravel these stories we have been living. We learned how to find an “Elegant Meaning” in the things that happened to us. This is essentially framing the facts and events in an empowering way.

    For example: I could have continued to let my old story get in the way of my feeling truly fulfilled for the rest of my life. But instead, I wrote a new story. It goes like this:

    My New Story

    For as long as I can remember, I had this vision of who I could become as a man. I felt separated from the possibility of becoming this man until very recently. There have been many obstacles in my path of becoming the man that I am today. I used to think that these obstacles, these challenges, these hardships were things that were to keep me from becoming the man that I always wanted to be. I now know that I am the man that I have become not in spite of the challenges, but because of them.

    Had I not had some of those things happen to me, I probably would have turned out much differently.

    I now see that the challenges placed in front of me were gifts. (Although they didn’t seem like it at the time.)

    I have survived quite a few things, and come through on the other side a strong, kind, sensitive, considerate, caring, authentic, masculine man who can express his emotions in a healthy way.

    Who would have thought that all those things that I went through were necessary to get me to where I am right now? I used to think that I was damaged goods. Fucked up for life because of what happened to me. I don’t feel that way anymore. All those things have given me a far greater understanding for other people’s suffering than I could have otherwise had. I have been blessed with perspective and appreciation for life that probably few people have. I think this puts me in a unique position to help people with similar struggles.

    A couple of quotes come to mind. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” (Nietzsche)

    Also, “All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free ” (Paul McCartney)

    Today I am free. I no longer live in fear. I am no longer in survival mode. I know that it is no longer war-time. It is peacetime, and I am safe. I love myself. I live in abundance, and have plenty to give.
    They say that the two most important days in a man’s life are the day he is born, and the day he figures out why. Well, I may not know exactly why just yet, but I feel like I am getting close. I know I am on a good path, and it is just a matter of time until I find a way to truly share my gifts with the world.

    We participated in an intense group meditation ceremony last night. I was shown the source of love for myself and for my fellow man. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It is the most blissful state of joy I have ever experienced. I wish I had a way to make everybody on the entire planet see and feel what I experienced for a few hours last night.

    After a day of reflection and rest, we participated in another very intense group meditation ceremony again last night. My intention going into the ceremony was “Show me the best version of me. Help me show my best self to people always, Show me how to love, Show me how to give.” In a room with 19 of my closest friends, rockstars, alumni, and instructors, we meditated and listened for hours to the 2 most beautiful voices singing that I have ever heard. I kept asking, “Show me how to present my best self to people. Show me the very best version of me. Show me how to love. Show me how to give.”

    It was about 2 or 3 AM when it happened. The image of who I had now become came into sharp focus. I had the thought, “You are strong, and you are So Fucking Beautiful!” You are magnificent! I am so fucking proud of you for the man you have become! I had visions of what women must think to themselves when they see my best self, “God Damn! I wanna fuck that guy!” I had visions of what other guys must think when they see my best self, “God Damn that guy’s fucking cool!” The image of both ends of the spectrum of my personality came into sharp view. On one end is this guy that works the top side of the model. The fun, flirty, sexual side. A guy that meets what I call the 7 F’s: Fun, Fit, Foodie, Fashionable, Fierce, Fantastic Freaky Fuck (Ok, that’s 8 F’s) I didn’t actually make these up. A girl I was seeing a few months ago told me that I met all her F’s.

    On the other end of the spectrum is this guy with an ocean of depth. A man who is a strong, beautiful giver. A man who will protect you. A man with so much inner beauty and strength, that it is over-flowing and I have to give it away.

    In the moment of having these visions, I knew I had to do something to anchor it into my soul. I made a move with my left hand that summons my “Fun Fit Fierce Fantastic Freaky Fuck Mode”. I made a move with my right hand that summons my Strong, Beautiful, Giver. I have both of these sides in spades. The best version of me is overflowing with both. I have lived most of my life holding back the reigns on these parts of me. The very best parts. But no longer.

    As I listened to these beautiful voices singing the most beautiful songs I have ever heard, I began to weep. I have become the man I always wanted to be. After all these years, after all the knockdowns, I have made it through to the very best version of me. I was overcome with the beauty of it all. She could feel my energy, and came over to me. She sat down next to me and put her hand on my heart as she sang to me. We sat there together in the most beautiful embrace that I have ever experienced. She helped me to breathe into it and fully experience the beauty as it seared into the depths of my soul. I anchored this feeling into my heart for what felt like an hour. Feeling her energy washing over my soul is simply the most profound moment of joy I have ever experienced. She asked me if I had a little water. I unscrewed the cap to my water bottle as I handed it to her without making a sound. She said, “No, for you I mean.” We both laughed just a little and I said, “Oh yeah. Good thinking.”

    A few moments later, as the intense emotion poured through me something amazing happened. My entire body began to shake uncontrollably. I have never experienced anything quite like it. The pure, raw energy flowing through me, pouring out of me. I was overflowing with love, strength and beauty.

    I anchored the words into my heart, “Strong, Beautiful, Giver. Strong, Beautiful, Giver,” over and over again. I put her hand on my heart, and my hand over hers so she could feel how much she had touched my soul. I sent her a thought, and asked her if she could hear what my spirit was saying to her. It turns out that she is not a mind reader. She asked me what I said. “I’ll tell you later”, I whispered. “Sounds good”, she replied.

    What my heart was saying to her was that I felt a calling. My life’s purpose. The reason I’m alive. I have to give this away. I want to help other people feel what I had just experienced. I want to help other men to feel as strong and beautiful as I do.
    I now know the difference between living out of fear & scarcity, and living from love and abundance. When my mind starts fucking with me again (and it will every day) all I have to do is say to it, “Thank You for protecting me. I am safe now. You can be free.” I immediately feel a sense of calm come over me.

    I am overflowing with love, and I have to give it away. It’s just that simple. Do you need some love? Have some of mine, for I have plenty. Do you need some strength? Have some of mine, for I have plenty. Do you need some courage? Have some of mine, for I have plenty. There is an endless supply there for us all.

  62. #62
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    Vegas Diary #6

    Iím getting lost in my own journals hereÖ inner, outer, regularÖ well, Iíll just tell you guys a few stories from the latest nights out. ďI love my fear!Ē Ė as stupid as that might sound at first, it actually works. Taking a meta-perspective on your own feelings and thoughts allows you to not get trapped in them, but see them as the mental formations of the brain that they are, and even laugh at their absurdity. That way, I can even get a state boost out of my own approach anxiety. And it truly helps Ė when I caught myself standing around not knowing what to do, I told myself: ďWhen in doubt, face your fears!Ē and went for the loudest and most crowded part of the nightclub Ė which, interesting enough (as in my party days that was the environment in which I would thrive most) these days has become the part of the club that I dread most for approaching, as I cannot rely on my words very much there.

    I really have to make an effort to keep patting myself on the back. It was easy to feel good the next morning when you had battled your massive approach anxiety some 30 or 50 times the night before. Now that it all becomes so much less scary and interactions run so much longer and smoother, itís a fine balance between immediately going all-in every time and finding different outcomes and longer interactions to test new conversation styles and still see the progress in it if it is not as apparent because the start was not overcoming a tremendous fear and the outcome is not sex. It helps a lot to journal from a point of some distance and especially to talk to other Rockstars and ask them questions about things that still puzzle you. Oftentimes, their perspective seems so obvious, but I would not have come up with it myself. It definitely helps a lot that the group has come such a long way and has formed such a strong bond.

    I have been focusing a lot on stillness and a relaxed and calm body posture lately, as I used to be that always-on, high energy guy that either loses himself in the music or connects with people by spreading his energy and making everybody laugh and move. Quite naturally, as we go out almost every night, focus on improving our game and donít drink, my energy usually is a lot lower than on a lose-myself Jšgermeister party night, but still it felt really weird at first to be in interactions and focus on not moving much, keeping my shoulders straight and my arms down, standing on my back foot and not smiling too much. Especially when at the same time, I am also trying to keep the energy level of the interaction beyond a certain threshold and convey interest at fun. But the feedback I am getting from the instructors is awesome: that I look real smooth by now. And thatís also the way it all starts to feel Ė that this shit is starting to become more and more natural Ė or at least larger parts of it. Itís also good to have a wider range of things to practice so I can look at my state in any given situation and then pick whatever practice might suit it best Ė on high-energy nights I would practice fun and banter or sexualization, and on lower-energy nights I would practice calm confidence and normal or deep conversation. One night, when I was not feeling the drive to go into interactions at all at the start, I would just walk around the pool for literally 15 minutes doing nothing than watching my stride and the way I held my shoulders and moved my head. Trust the process, babyÖ 😉

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    Vegas Diary #7

    Good remark from one of the instructors: we should not only approach girls that we find attractive, but pretty much anybody, girls or boys. Even if we donít want to practice escalation, it trains our approach muscle and our social conversation muscle, improves our state and is an opportunity to train being funny, spontaneous and natural. Many hot girls will not talk to a guy who clear just wants to have sex with them, but rather with a guy who is witty and seemingly just wants to have fun and share his good mood. It was interesting to see how quickly my state shifted and how much more fun I had once I made that shift in mindset.

    Weíre getting to a point where the old adage holds true: once you got your game together, itís mostly logistics that fucks it up for youÖ you donít know who has the car keys or the room keys, you canít find the Uber pickup spot, the girl has lost her purse or had too much to drink and is about to pass out, she needs to catch a flight or has lost her friendsÖ reasons abound. Itís annoying, but part of the game and an encouraging sign that you did well enough to let logistics be the reason and not your bad game.

    Wingmen are super important. I feel we still have not really found out how to make the most of it, but for me at the start of the night I often have a hard time pushing myself into interactions, and then just following one of the guys around and having him open up helps a ton, as at this point I have very little issues feeling at ease in interactions. Additionally, as we mostly approach groups of girls, itís necessary anyways to eventually keep her friends busy so you can talk to the girl you want in private and get her undivided attention. Last but not least, it gives a ton of social proof if youíre not the odd guy wandering around the club alone, but the guy with the good-looking and funny friends.

    It's great exchanging with the boys. Everyone seems to be good at something different, and an outside perspective always helps, so thereís a ton of benefit to be gained from asking the boys how they do what they do. For me the sticking points at the moment are making my boldness feel more natural, doing some of the escalation steps earlier on (e.g. getting her number, moving her around, leaving the club), letting her do more of the talking and not forgetting to go deep. Many of my interactions become to flirty or sexual early on at the moment, that I naturally move towards going with that flow and forget to establish a deeper connection that will make her see me as more than just that attractive guy and therefore will make her want to see me again. And quite naturally, I need to work on my ice queen game Ė approach completely irrespective of what I believe her response will be. Keep practicing, screw the results and trust the process Ė thatís the way to improve. We all keep forgetting that at times, but itís impressive to see how dedicated all the boys are Ė we had a night off planned for tonight, but literally everyone volunteered to go out on another practice run as most of us felt we didnít make enough of the day club todayÖ well, game-wise. Our parties keep getting better and better, and the bottle girls all want to stick around as we are the most fun and packed table with the most attractive guys and tons of girls night after nightÖ we are starting to truly get the full Vegas experienceÖ too bad itís over in just a few short days, but the road trip is gonna be effiní epic!

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    August 18 Entry
    This morning I awoke with those beautiful voices singing those beautiful songs in my head. I went to the bathroom and went back to sleep. When I woke up again, my “to do” list started running in my head a little bit. I just focussed on the voices singing again and my mind calmed back down a bit.

    These past few days have been beautiful and very intense. It has been said that “The snow globe of my consciousness has been shaken up”. Over the next days and weeks, it will be revealed to me the impact of the changes that have been made inside me. It will be interesting to see how I operate with this new understanding of myself. Life is getting better and better all the time.

    We’re scheduled to go out to Omnia tonight. I am feeling quite nervous about going to this type of environment so soon after having such an intense spiritual experience. I still haven’t decided for sure if I should go or not. I may skip it.

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    August 21 Entry

    These past few days have been all over the place for me. I was feeling very fragile, raw and sensitive Friday night, so I decided not to go out. I enjoyed a quiet night in with one of the other Rockstars. We talked for a bit, and then went to bed early.

    Woke up Saturday morning feeling quite rested. Today was our day to have the house barbecue party. I managed to get a 1.5 hour session of yoga in before things got going.

    I enjoyed the day, hanging out with friends, brothers and fellow Rockstars. Stuffed myself with grilled meats, and actually had ice cream for the first time in over 4 months. Got a nap in before going out to Hakkasan for Tiesto. I had a much better experience at this club than I did the first time around over a week ago when I left early.

    There were several girls I interacted with where there was mutual interest. I basically got cock-blocked by her friends in three different interactions.

    I got to sleep around 5 AM Sunday morning. Around 10:45 AM, my roommate woke me up and said, “We’re leaving for the day party in 20 minutes.” “Fuck Me!” , I said. I got out of bed. It wasn’t long before I realized that I felt like complete shit. I knew it was going to be one of those days. About once a month, this thing comes around and knocks me completely on my ass, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. All I can do is rest, be kind to myself and try to love me until it passes.

    I decided to skip the pool party at Wet Republic. I’m glad I made this decision. I ate lots of junk food and slept most of the day. Most of the guys went out to XS Night Swim. I skipped this as well.

    I woke up this morning feeling better. I hope that one day I can overcome this thing that takes hold of me. It is by far, the thing I like the least about being me.

    These last couple of days, I have felt zero confidence in my abilities. Right now it’s hard to imagine myself ever being the man I am trying to become.

  66. #66
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    Blog 1
    Intro July 31

    A little bit about me. I was born and brought up in a south asian country and i was there till i was 20 years old. growing up in a muslim conservative country is tough and to add it up, i was not quite the popular kid, more of an outcast for most of my life. I only had one girl friend who pretty much chose me and she was on of the hottest girls in school. from day 1 i had an image in me that i’ll get married to her and live happily ever after. unfortunately due to my negativity, and over possessiveness i lost her. she broke up with me. that really destroyed me. i was in a very bad depressed state for about 6 years till the time i found my way to the 10 day bootcamp. i suspect towards the end of our relationship she probably cheated on me but till today i don’t have it in me to find out. the salt on my wound was when she started hooking up with a guy who i considered my best friend and soon after they started dating. it just shattered me and i took this bad feeling with me when i moved to north America.
    it was not easy for me there as well. i only got to kiss a girl once for the first four years there. i just was giving up on myself and my life and the thought of taking my life was a common occurrence for me at the point of life. this curriculum has already changed my life in many ways. it was only fair on me to continue on this journey and see where it leads me at the end of the joiner.

    DAY 1

    Finally after over a years preparation i find myself in the cosmo’s 39th floor, sitting in front of the core instructor group, sharing my story and why i am here. we were there 3 hours extra, listening to everyone. from the participants, the alumni and the instructors. and i must say its more than i had imagined and i’m so glad i am here. the next 9 weeks will churn me into the man that i’ve always just visioned to be in my mind.

    everyone has a had problems and dark pasts and it was touching to hear out everyone and learn from them. The instructors have a vast amour of knowledge and just then sharing their stories and what they went through to put together this program is just far beyond what I have thought. I have a lot of respect for them and I feel fortunate to be part of Project Rockstar.

    Day 2

    I’m just amazed at my own abilities. i think its time i need to stop doubting myself so much and go along with the flow of how i feel. Venture’s passion during the seminars really pumped me up. Just the levels of energy around me was enough to be out of my head and just live and have fun.
    There was a point in the night when I somehow just gave up. mentally and my body too. i was so down and just took me a while to just breath, relax, and after something magical just happened. It felt like i found my dream girl in that black dress walking by me. The huge couch at our table was a big obstacle and i just jumped over it. something like a hero in the Bollywood movies and i just ran for it. that was the moment when i felt the rush, the hight, that just left me leap out of my body in some way and my head and just be who i want to be. it was smooth sailing after. i was so relaxed, and i was able to just go through the nights exercise with such ease. i haven’t talked to and met so many women in one night like this in years. one of the alum’s told me i need to not be so hard on myself and from time to time give myself credit for the small steps of progress i am making .

  67. #67
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    Blog 2
    Day 3

    So far the toughest night so far. Mission of the night was get get blow out and get used to touching women. its normal as long as we can find the right thresholds. that’s exactly what i did. some worked, others did not. mostly towards the end we all had the same expression of frustration. on the flip side, masrshmello was playing and that was fun. i love his music so that was helpful to for me to be in a good mood. early in the night i had set a goal to talk to the hottest girl i can find and rapidly escalate with her which, sounds simple now, was quite a feat to achieve. take away for me at the end of the day was to be more comfortable in the environment and not care about what people think about me or what i am doing. i feel like i did better than the previous day. i will keep focusing on the basics and push my boundaries and plow through this.

    Day 4

    Much better of a night, not because it was the first “bungalow” night. we were having logistical issues from the start. the outside pool area was closed so going in and out of the bungalow was a challenge. so i just focused on having a good time in the clubs and i personally love clubbing. it took me some time to get into a good mood, something that i want to work on, because as the night goes on and more the girls are hit on my other what i call normal guys, their resistance rises. i finally felt things were coming back to me compared to the previous days. the previous 2 days were a rollercoaster for me where pushing the conversation forward was a big challenge. i just felt like in my head i’m hitting a wall and all the good conversational strands of conversation were not coming in. Later when i was thinking about my interactions i realized so many missed opportunities. some logistical issues were there too where on 2 occasions girls were pulled away by their friends even after me trying to keep them entertained and part of the conversation. i’m happy overall with my last nights progress. i finally see the wall breaking away and i’m getting more in tuned with myself.

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    Blog 3
    Day 5

    Encore beach club. this was the day i figured out what my inner masculinity looks like. finally i was able to stop girls in their track to talk to them. my approaches have been so week up until then. just don’t lean in. let them come to you to hear you. you are the man and she’s lucky that you are giving her the opportunity to get to know you. after all we are spending so much time figuring ourselves out and social calibration, how people interact, understanding women, their needs, how to care for them and how to make them feel comfortable and safe around us to they can embrace and be free with their inner little girl. they are the most kind, compassionate and warm being who complete us in ways we don’t ever notice and mostly it goes unappreciated.

    Day 6

    Inner game part 1. that’s the seminar for today. very insightful and a very emotional journey this was today. a bit more and i’m sure all of us gown men would have had a lot of waterworks. it was good to hear out others and their stories and how we can embrace our pasts and move on the a better future without the baggage that is holding us back to becoming the masculine men. this program, contrary to popular belief is not about picking up girls of just have lots of sex with women. yes this is a bi product of it when we come out of if on the other side. this is because of the massive changes we will be making and bettering ourselves in unimaginable ways. its only been a week since the program started but it feels like i’ve been in this program for a month now. i can’t wait to see my new truer self in 8 weeks from now.


    Day 7

    Inner game part 2. today we started with a homework that was given to us. as we did not go out last night, we all had time to contemplate on the teachings of the previous day. one particular topic was about racketing. today’s seminar started with it and we heard quite a few stories of the guys, some were very touching and relating to deep family issues.
    today’s debrief was quite insightful for me. i realized my progress on the nights out is deeply tied to the internal battle i’m having in my head and its stopping me from being the complete man i want to be. from coming into conversations from a point of weakness and neediness to having self doubts that i have created over the years about me that’s lead me to pick up so many bad habits and bad beliefs that’s hampering progress in my personal and my business life. i’m finally get a grasp on these concepts and i can feel from the inside that as the clutter is going away, i’m getting more relaxed and i’m projecting a much more positive energy that will eventually reflect in my approaches, text messages that right now is a very weak link for me and in my relationships with others in my life.

  69. #69
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    Blog 4
    Day 8

    things have started to move along faster for me from today. I was only able to talk to a handful of girls tonight and its not a bad thing. while hanging out with the guys by the bar i saw a super cute girl walk by with her friends and i just had to go talk to her. My first thought when seeing this girl was OK, let's go and talk to her. Probably she would not stop. I was so wrong about that. From the start it was a very good interaction a long story short we ended up hanging outwith each other the entire night. Her friends were awesome as well they were very understanding and gave us for until space and time to ourselves.
    This is when I started getting in my head again and was afraid to pull her out of the club. Even after she had dropped quite a few subtle hints that she really likes spending time with me and she is down to go over I'm going and to just lead the way. Eventually they all got tired and she left with her friends. Right after I bumped into one of the core instructors who was actually watching me for a while and he told me that I was not able to build so much tension in order for her to instantly leave. Overall I learned a lot and learned that I need to trust and believe in myself more and not to self-doubt so much. This just proves that I have a quality person and that people who have just met me for so willing to spend so much time with me. I will definitely focus this positive energy to to progress in the next coming days.

    Day 9

    Lots of fun stories and its just day 7 of training and instructions. The group had their first group sex. I almost got a girl to walk about with me from the the XS. Her room at he comso is literally a few week away for us. I will be seeing her later tonight. I writing my blog today while iím in todayís Story time. the energy in the room today is just on fire. i canít remember the last time iíve laughed so hard. Just being here cleans up so many insecurities and issues thatís iíve been battling in my head. its all about my inner demons, women are the gift that we get once we have conquered our minds. We are all getting along well great and its just the beginning. great news for today is that we get an off day tomorrow. probably the first time ever this has happened in the grueling program.
    My major take away from last night is that i am a great guy. i am investing so much time and resources in this process and let me tell you its not easy. cleaning up bad habits of the last 28 years my life is not at all easy. iíve love to have so many of my friends do this program but thatís not how it works. it is a lot of money, and you must want to be ready to break yourself from the inside and rebuild yourself. everyday i feel my heart beat is much faster and iím always tense as its this process is changing in at a million miles per second. its just day 8, but i feel like iíve been here for a month now.

    Day 10

    The next two days have been very very interested I have actually been holding it for story time. It all started at XS where sources of us were talking to a few girls from California that instantly we clicked. Within just a few minutes of saying hi I'm getting our names she had her hand on my cock. It was such an eye-opening experience for me. I had never thought that so quickly I would be able to escalate. This is when the thought of having a group that's going to my mind and I started to push that mindset into our conversation. She was so into me and so comfortable that she was open for it and it was her first time. I was just amazed at how quickly things can be running 1,000,000 mi./s for just 30 or 60 seconds before that we were to shaking hands and formally. Long story short I had a threesome with her and one of the alums.

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    Blog 5
    Day 11

    Every Monday we do the famous Bungalow night but unfortunately today I could not make it. We had round two with the girl from night before. She was a bit drunk last night so she wanted to redo it again so that she can have a better and more for experience. So they came to our room at the Cosmo at around midnight. This is what I really got to know her and I felt like she's actually a very awesome person to hang out with not only to have sex with. I never knew I would be so comfortable in such a situation. I actually enjoyed my time there. About two hours into it I shared that it would be more fun if you could add a few more of her friends to come in. She has never done something like this before she had quite a few questions but she told us that because we are so respectful I made her feel so comfortable she's fully and to have an amazing experience. Around that time she had already told us that she lost count of how many time she had orgasm. And it was just a beginning. Went to the over the next few hours a fellow rockstar and one of the instructors join the party and it was just amazing. As I was mentioning about earlier applause what it is all about giving I have had the opportunity to experience the first hand and all I can say is that I would want everybody to experience something like this as this really pushes our titles and really opens our minds and our souls to be in one with our feelings and our bodies. I don't think this is the end of the story time, she was telling her she wants to come see the mansion and meet the rest of the guys..

    Day 12

    DEBRIEF DAY. today was a day of reflections and story time. We all individually shared our stories and its always a lot of fun. i took the rest of the day to contemplate my journey and the immense progress i have made. i recall on day 1-4 i was having hard times being in state or hold a proper conversation. And now i was talking about how i masterminded a 3some and group sex two days in a row. wow, that’s all i can say now.

    Day 13

    As we dive deeper into the program, there is not a shift from the game aspect of the program to more inner issues that we as men are dealing with in order to make ourselves better, stronger emotionally, more dependable, stable and overall a more well rounded men. i’m come to realize how great a man my father is. last year i was able to spend a few months with him and live with him. so many things taught here sounded more like repetition of what my father told me over those months. i feel so bad from the inside for always doubting him and questioning him. i know i should call him and talk to him, but i’m too weak right now to do it.

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    Blog 6
    Day 14

    Tiesto at Hakkasan. this guy brings out a lot, probably all the hot girls in town to the clubs. i was very excited and i love the club environment. It was at the beginning of the night and was just hanging out with some of the guy from the alumni group when i saw this beautiful tan white girl walking past. i literally grabbed her by her hand and just blurred out come here, in a very commanding way. she literally stopped her friend who was pulling her from the other side and she just came. i was so into her and she felt the energy. should have pulled her to the table but her friend wasn’t easy on the eyes and i got in my head. by the time i made up my mind it fizzled out. i did beat my self for that till i saw this curvy busty girl walk down the stairs when i was just walking about with one of the instructors. all i did was stop her in the middle of the staircase and just told her she’s fucking gorgeous and i was there staring at her holding her hands. told her i don’t want to let go of her hand: “her: if you do i will run away. Me: then i’m never letting it go.” after that i just started walking to the table. we danced for sometime when she told me she’s super horny right now and all and i did not do much just grind with her, and walkout. i did mention we should get out of here but it was more of asking for her permission rather than leading her. big mistake. next time i need to be the man i am and just walk her out. god she was smoking hot.


    Day 15

    Real heavy day for inner game. 6 of us were individually worked on to face biggest and deepest demons. Today i was one of those 6. although i am in a loss of words, all i can say is that cried like i have never before. this process is very intense and exhausting. but after i felt much lighter and clam. i need to learn to love myself and be more caring.
    We told to take the night off if needed, but i decided to go out. Hakkasan, Zedd. i didn’t want to miss that. long story short, brought home a hot Brazilian and her friend with an alum. she’s definitely the type of girl i see myself with. pat on the back for that. its sometimes hard to notice how quickly we are changing and evolving.
    Back at the house, before going to bed i took out a Tupperware and was hanging out with one of the girls who just finished her bang bang with one of the guys and waiting for her friend to finish. at one point she just pops out “i’m sorry for tonight. Me: about? Her: for being a bitch, when you were trying to talk to me. Me: you are supposed to, to weed out the bs. Her: yes but in the process i lost on a great guy like you. thank you for still talking to me and making me so welcome here in your mansion. You are a great guy.”


    Day 16

    HW: go back and read over the story and rewrite the new story. Focus on love, the gifts given, focus on giving and living.

  72. #72
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    Blog 7
    Day 17

    A very intense day at seminar time. It was my turn to face my fears, let go of them and replace that during hole inside me with love and positive feelings. i went from being calm, being analytical about my life to facing those who belittled me with anger, getting rid of all this, and just letting go. for once and for all. towards the end i just had tears roll down my eyes, the feeling is hard to put in words but i just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders as i’m writing this blog right now.


    Day 18

    I knew this happens to the class every year and its struck me. I’m down with a cold and my throat is sore. Luckily my throat is working and we are digging deep into the inner game aspect of the program. the whole concept here is that i can’t love and accept me for who i am, or work on myself to make myself better, external changes will not come. whether it be women, friends or financial success. our conscious brain is also a muscle and just like any muscle it needs care, exercise to grow and maintenance.


    Day 19

    today was the wrap up of the inner game seminar with only 2 meditation days to go into. the process of self search. these past few days was all about learning about ourselves, our problem, demons, past incidents that are anchoring our progress. we did some breathing exercises to calm our minds, some things to do in the mornings and also things we should do to remove our self doubts and put the understanding and self love in me. its hard to explain but just by putting trust in the process of it, i’ve had amazing results already. and as time goes by, these effects will just multiply.

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    Blog 8
    Day 20

    i’ve been accustomed to meditation since childhood as it was a part of the faith my family followed. this was something i really enjoyed and valued as one of the most important aspects of my faith. this year in the program a similar practice of meditation was added and it was the best thing ever. i’ve never meditated for 4-5 hours straight and just sitting in the dark room with the rest of the group was a very bonding experience to say the least. it took a while for me to get into the groove and set aside my worldly thoughts and focus on my main question. what is my purpose in life? eventually it was at a surreal feeling where i am able to talk to my inner voice and just go a deep search to find the answers. i was amazed that it has always been in me. i felt like i saw my real self and how hard it was for me to rip open all that love and acceptance for myself and how great a person i am, which was not what i thought i was. i saw my parents, my brother, my home, how i am incomplete and alone without them.

    Day 22

    after last nights meditation ceremony, we all were very drained. this morning we had brunch and then a circle of reflection where the whole group shared their experience, for many a first time doing something like this. 20+ guys, so it took a few hours. it was very insightful for me just sharing and learning from other’s experiences. i’m taking the rest of the day to prepare for tonight and making the intention of what i want to search for tonight.

    Day 23 August 17, 2017

    it was the same as yesterday and i writing today while in the second circle of reflection. I couldn't have asked for a more blissful journey I had last night. It's so hard for me to put in words and I'm sure it's the same for the rest of us. i’ll go more in detail in the upcoming inner game reflections.

  74. #74
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    Journal #8

    Friday August 18, 2017ó Omnia

    This was our first big night after the break.

    A celebration of all the hard work weíve done to ourselves since we got to Vegas three weeks ago, and even before that really. We had a table right above the DJ booth, The DJ was Martin Garix (someone I've actually heard of), and a high minimum spend (=tons of alcohol). But I wasnít ready.

    After all that weíve been through in the last week I figured that going to a night club would be easyÖ Weíve done it literally dozens of times since weíve been out in Vegas, and now that we spent so much time working on our mental health it should be easier right? Wrong. I was fragile.

    Before we left for the club someone turned on some music at the mansion and it shook me. I could feel my insides weíre effected by it. I didnít like that. Same thing when we got to the club, I was fragile and not ready. I managed to settle in, talk to some cute girls and have a really fun night in the end. But I left around 3 with one of the instructors. I got to spend some time with an instructor which was a plus of leaving early.

    I came to the conclusion that a combination of a few days off, as well as thinking about our lives so deeply and so intensely for three days, along with all the inner game work we did before that, we were in a place where going to a night club was a shock to our system. This night was necessary to get back into the swing of things at the club, and the habit of going out, but it was one of the tougher nights on the program.

    One more day off would have helped, but that wasn't an option. I'm glad I went out anyways. It doesnít matter if youíre ready youíve just got to do it sometimes.

    Saturday, August 19, 2017 ó Hakkasan

    This Is my favourite club in Vegas. The set up we have is amazing, the DJ is amazing, the Girls are so hot. You can't ask for anything more.

    I was still feeling a little shaken from the inner game work, so I tried my best to forget about Game and have some fun. That worked wonders and guess what happened? I met some cool girls.

    Towards the end of the night a blonde girl walked by me so I stopped her and asked where she was going.

    ďHome, my friends left me.Ē

    I talked to her for a couple minutes and then told her to come hang out at our table. She said fuck it and came along.

    We hung out at the table for a couple minutes, and then she said she had to go to the washroom. I walked her through the crowd over to the washroom and went to take a piss. I came back and pulled out my phone to wait for her. Before she could come out, a really cute irish girl I was talking to from earlier in the night walked out and started teasing me about being on my phone. She said she was going to the dance floor and asked if I wanted to come. I had to choose in that moment, if I was going to wait for the blonde girl, or go with the Irish girl. I went with the Irish girl.

    We didnít go home together but, I had a lot of fun so I don't regret my decision. I wonít know if this was the right or not, but for me to make that decision in a split second and end up having fun.

    I learned a lot over the last couple nights about having fun and not setting expectations, listening to my body and learning how to react to it. Before I would have been panicked about how thereís only a couple nights left in Vegas I should be at X point in my learning and development. Now Iím at ease with how many nights out we have in Vegas, and where Iím at.

    These two nights might have been tough, but it was necessary learning experience that is going to help me for years down the road.

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    Vegas Diary #8

    Another 2 days gone, another gazillion experiences… just coming back from skydiving – great bonding experience… was a lot less scary than the first time I did it a while back though – I wonder whether that was because I had experienced it before or simply because I had had a mere 2 hours of sleep after the club… in the waiting room before going up to fall out of the sky, more than one guys’ head hit the table as exhaustion seemed to win the battle over adrenalin… but once the plane’s hatch opens and you fall out into the void, the adrenaline rushing through your veins so that you barely manage to take in the sight of the Hoover dam to one sight and the strip to the other, all that tiredness is forgotten and a big fat grin is firmly implanted on your face… first eskimo brothers, now sky brothers – what’s next?

    Where did I leave you guys… was it after Saturday night out at Hakkasan or after Wet Republic on Sunday? It’s all a blur to me… we barely have time to exchange all the weird / fun / enlightening stories anymore – and there are plenty. We’ve all become so good at calmly handling even the weirdest situations – misreads and miscommunications, lost or stolen wallets, girls being sloppy drunk in the club, professionals who only reveal themselves at the very last moment… it’s great that we are partying sober all the time so we can handle those situations and take care both of our friends and of the girls we are with. It still happens time and again though that one of the guys with the car keys simple forgets he has them, takes an Uber home and the next day we have to collectively browse the WhatsApp chat to find at what Casino the missing car is parked… Exhaustion is shaking us pretty hard this last week in Vegas, but our group is strong enough by now to not blow anything said or done out of proportion, so group cohesion is awesome – as is our will to grind on hone our skills ever more: This weekend most of us managed to fit in some 15-18 hours of practice in less than 30 hours, the last car arrives back home usually well past sunrise, and the hardest ones go days without ever getting as much as 6 hours of sleep… mind over matter, big time!

    On the flip side, you can feel the boys getting a bit antsy. When you’re getting so good at opening and keeping conversation with a ton of attractive and interesting women, it really takes a lot of mental discipline to not judge yourself by the outcome, but by sticking to the process and by your dedication, and also to keep expanding your boundaries. It’s great to get lost in an interesting conversation for hours, but that’s not what we came for, so a harsh blowout resulting from testing the limits of your own comfort zone, being bold and going all-in is a way better learning experience than just letting a “regular” conversation run its way without ever trying to force her to decide on how the night will end. But if you do it, it more often than not gives you a sense of pride and validation for daring. The process itself has become rewarding, and that mental shift alone was worth the ride up to here. The class is exceeding expectations by so far that we really should celebrate ourselves, our peers and our incredible life even more than we do. Take a step back, take a deep breath and realize what an incredible journey this is and how much it will affect our lives and our happiness from here on out. Just applying for this program was a bold move, and every bold step forward that we are taking adds to the rewards that we will reap from it and the pride that we all should take from it. Rockstars for Life!

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    Day 19-21 – 3 day meditation retreat (see inner game reflection)

    Day 22-24

    Went out for Martin Garix. Had the skytable, which is literally right above the DJ booth, one of the best tables I've ever seen, though it felt like we were bit withdrawn from the whole club. Coming off a few days without going out, I was feeling a little rusty on the first few interactions, I'd say partly because I was still feeling quite mellow from meditation. I met a gorgeous blonde girl early on, and went to the table with her and her friends. We were having a good time but just standard banter and club conversations, until my coach walked past and reminded me 'how much we love our special moments'; I was supposed to be working on creating them. From here I sat down with the girl and tried numerous times, peppered between getting up to dance and have fun, but there was just so little threads of conversation we could go deep and connect on. I did a lot of talking, and was proud of myself for sharing a lot of stories and insights, while the most she had to offer was that she worked in a bar and liked red wine. And had a cat. This was another good example that some girls just don’t go deep, and are just there to have fun (or in this case, bored and doesn’t want to be in Vegas, just doing her girl duty for her friends bachelorette party). We still had a good time and danced, but shortly after I asked her 5 friends who were being negative/bringing down the vibe at the table to leave, so they went to dance and then she text me saying they left the club. I thought it was done, then a couple of days later she texted me asking to hang out if I'm ever in her city, so maybe somewhere the depth did connect. I had a number of other good interactions this night, with 2 that had key lessons. One was a German girl I approached and walked back to the table; I didn’t think she was into me before we headed to the table, but after we got there I noticed a massive shift. I think it was more the leading through the club than the table, because we never actually went inside and hung out. Toward the end of the night one of the alumni was doing well with a girl half his age so I hung out with the guys and talked a bit to her hot friend. I wasn’t getting much and didn’t think she was into me, and then all of a sudden there we are building massive tension and making out. We headed back to another alumni's awesome suite for an after party, where we were just chilling out and I figured nothing was going to happen, was getting nothing from her and I was just chilling. At one point, my friend said we should go and check out the view in the other room; knowing it was the guest bedroom I simply grabbed her hand and walked off. She was still acting like nothing was going to happen, and then a few moments later we were naked and had some pretty great sex, with a great view of the Vegas strip. She messaged me the next day thanking me for the orgasms and a great time.

    We had a BBQ at the mansion with all the instructors and alumni that were still around, which was a good chill day. Tonight they turned on the drinks for us too, and I had some tequila before heading out. I didn’t really feel like drinking, nor that I needed it, and I just had a few. I didn’t really get a buzz, despite not having alcohol since last year, and it just clouded my head and made me feel a bit off. I’m so glad I can go out and have more fun than anyone in the club, without having to drink poison just to get me into a state I can have fun and talk to people. Maybe I’ll drink again in the future but it’s just not in my reality anymore as something that I need to have fun or be me, and I love that. Before this program I did enjoy going out drinking, but I was doing it mostly by myself and I’d get a lot of pressure from friends to drink if I went out with people, vs here where no one drinks and no one even thinks about it; we just go out and try and make our night the most awesome time we can by being ourselves. I headed home an hour or two earlier than normal, which is still solid effort at 3am, as we had our first day club the next morning; having to arrive super early (being a big table of guys getting in can be tricky, especially when we get the tables we do, so we do what we can like get to places early and fill it with women). The dayclub was epic, we had two sick tables right behind the DJ booth and partied all day. I drank a bit again, but really wasn’t feeling it and am probably done with drinking when we go out; maybe I’ll have some drinks on the road trip with the guys but I think I’m done with drinking unless it’s partying with friends and I have no obligations the following day (and I don’t see this as likely as I like to be productive constantly).

    It’s all starting to blend together, I’ve come so far and as my instructor said, it’s just a matter now of experiencing more and more interactions and working on it all; he doesn’t have anything left to teach me and my buddy, unless it’s specific questions. To get feedback like this is cool, but also sobering because now I know it’s about the dedication and commitment to continue grinding it out. I feel like I can always pick out what I did right/wrong, though I love that there’s always something new to surprise me.

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    PR Journal 7

    So we took about 4 days off while we were taking part in the guided meditation. Talk about rusty. Approach anxiety, my old friend. It just goes to show that even after pushing yourself to go and talk with girls hundreds of times over the last three weeks, fear is something that will never go away entirely. I immediately pushed myself to start approaching. I will be honest, it felt like I was swimming through molasses. I would force myself to approach but as the night went on, I continued to be trapped in my mind. No amount of approaches seemed to be changing my state.

    When I went out the night after, same thing happened, but instead of getting stuck in my head in the later hours of the night it happened early on. When I originally got into learning game, some of the advice I got was never to show negative emotions to people because they will feel the same emotions and not want to be around you. I took that message to heart, and for years when I would be down on myself Iíd just hide it and try to figure it out on my own. I went to the bar to get a water with one of the alumni and he asked how I was doing. I donít know why but I decided to be honest. I wasnít doing well. I was stuck in my head and it was frustrating. Then the best thing happened. He sympathized. He told me it was ok, happens to him all the time. Eventually it would pass and Iíd be back to myself. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was ok to be stuck in my head. Ok, obviously I donít want to be stuck in my head. But it IS going to happen. Understanding that this is all part of life is really important for keeping a level head. In the past I had just battled my mind incessantly so that I would be out of it which, as we all know, is like me telling you not to think about elephants. By acknowledging it, I am at the least able to move forward with myself instead of beating myself up. In addition, opening up to someone else made it easier for me to get out of it. Itís like I was able to share the burden with someone, and the best part was it had no bearing on how the other person was feeling.

  78. #78
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    13 day inner game reflection

    My brain is swollen from all the information Iíve learnt over the last 13 days. Previously I only thought about inner game as something that affects approach anxiety and my mood when Iím out. Some nights I would be ďon fireĒ and other nights I would be too afraid to approach girls. Often I would just turn to alcohol to subdue some of the fear and inhabitions. Occasionally I would get the outcome I wanted so always thought alcohol is just a mandatory part of any good interactions.

    Inner game is so much more, infact Iím struggling to put my thoughts into words on paper.
    Much of our lives revolves around decisions and judgements we make. Often these decisions are based around how we perceived events Ė or ďour versionĒ of events. Part of the event is factual (eg what actually happened) and the other is subjective. How as a person we perceived the event.

    During the inner game 13 day seminar I talked about 1 issue that had held me back in my life. It took a little digging to find this root cause, because it wasnít on the surface and wasnít something I thought about consciously. In short I had a feeling that I wasnít enough. I wasnít someone people wanted to be friends with or hang out with. After deep reflection these thoughts were based on the fact that my dad left when I was 3 months old. He didnít leave when my older brother was born so somehow as a young kid I blamed myself for him leaving. The two parts of the event are what happened and the story. What happened is my dad left. The story is that it was my fault and Iím not enough.

    Its easy to see how absurd it is that a child under 5 makes a decision about an event and then that story rules the rest of you life. Discovering how this story holds you back in life in a negative way is the key to resolving the ďstoryĒ permanently. In short if your brain can be wired in a way to accept a story as 100% fact, its just as simple to rewire the brain to rewrite the story.

    Negative stories can still have a positive effect on your life. In my life I concentrated a lot on my career since I just wasnít excelling in my social /relationship life. The result was that I was really satisfied that I had a great career doing the kind of stuff I loved doing. Financially I was outperforming my peers and had a comfortable life money wise. Complete happiness is about having all areas of your life on track, not just 1 or 2 areas.

    Most of this reflection so far has been talking about ďinnerĒ and I havenít talked about ďgameĒ so much. How does having a good headspace help you hook up with hot girls ?

    Iíve been finding that girls have an acute sense of who is genuine and authentic. They are naturally attracted to guys that are in a good headspace. Body language and other subtle signs all improve once your inner game is sorted. It ends up not mattering as much on what you say, but rather the intention behind what you say. The curriculum teaches how important it is to come from a giving / growing and loving nature. This has been a major breakthrough for me. Its amazing how not being outcome dependant can totally change interactions with girls. An example of this is me texting a girl that Iím totally fine with her hanging out and hooking up with another group of boys. I mentioned I was still keen to see her again myself, but I was fine with her having an awesome time with someone else. This was a genuine and authentic conversation, I honestly was ok with her being with someone else. The result was she was even more attracted to me and wanted to sleep with me even more.

    The last part of the inner game program is a 2 night meditation experience. We had 2 very experienced people to lead a overnight meditation experience that concentrated on resolving any roadblocks and issues in your personal life. The experience actually gave me a lot of clarity and gave me answers to many of the challenges that Iíd be facing.

    I was super proud to get a comment from a girl that I had an amazing aura around me. Girls have an amazing sense of judging who is authentic and who isnít. One of the tips before the program was that by the end, girls arenít the core part of the program. I couldnít see how this was possible when a core part was going out every night trying to meet new girls. Iíve realised the program isnít about girls, its about being the best version of yourself. When you are the best version of yourself girls are naturally drawn into your world. Approaching girls over and over is actually just an efficient way to measure your progress as becoming the best version of yourself. I would have never thought, girls could be a measuring gauge of success.

    I have no doubt that the last 13 days will be the single event to have the most profound positive impact on my entire life. So many areas of my life will never be the same again. I feel like a new person.

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    Vegas Diary #9

    There we are, 1 day and a bit to go, 1 major party remains and then weíll catch a plane to Europe and embark on our Rockstar Immersion Road TripÖ finally some time to get some much-needed rest and perspective and get to know the boysÖ somehow, there has never been really the time for thatÖ whenever I introduce some of the girls to the boys, I find myself thinking ďYeah, this dude is awesome, he is a fucking Rockstar and I love him, but I am not really able to tell this girl much about him without giving away too much of our joint adventure of the last few weeksÖĒ.

    Nights out are still an up and down. Iím often so exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally lately that my brain seems to stall and I just canít get my banter going because there is way too much molasses in my head for my thoughts to operate at normal speed at come up with some witty lineÖ itís awesome to see though how much attraction I am now able to create despite all that fatigue Ė when you donít know what to say, just rely on your subcoms to build the tensionÖ all of us have become attraction-generating machines in some way, and weíre only a 10th of the way or soÖ they tell us much of the growth happens in the 6 Ė 12 months after the program and I fully believe that. This here is to teach us new concepts and kickstart our motor, but there is so much inertia in the brain and soul that our understanding of who we are will take a long time to follow suit with what our bodies are already able to doÖ we just need to keep finetuning our skillset and hammering new experiences into our systems, and eventually it will become plain impossible to maintain our old self-images, as our actions have become such a sharp contrast to them that our brains can no longer stand that incongruence and has no choice but to accept the new reality Ė thatís what they call ďgetting over the fenceĒ. From that day onwards, there will no longer be one step backward in doubt and fear for every two steps forward, and that is the day we are all pushing for so hard to get to. So as strange as it sounds at first, every bit of frustration, discomfort and awkwardness that we feel is actually a good thing and can be used as fuel for further progress, as it is a sign of the growing disparity between our old self-images and our new, more authentic and way freer realities.

  80. #80
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    Reflection on the Vegas leg

    Wow, so this is it, this has been Vegas. Incredible how fast things move. I was feeling quite a pang of nostalgia soaking in the view from the classroom balcony one last time earlier tonightÖ weíve come a damn long way and likely havenít even realized more than a fraction of it yet. Had a 4+ hour group debrief today, and one theme that came up consistently was: ďYou have got no idea how far youíve come already. You are feeling so confused because you have been living inside the tiny little box of your worldview for so long and now you are just getting a glimpse of the big, wide world out there, so all of a sudden you donít know your bearings anymore and everything seems unfamiliar and uncertain. So just keep pushing it and trust the process, and eventually all the pieces will click into place, youíll make the mental shift necessary from ĎThis is just happening to me for some reason beyond my controlí to ĎI fully deserve this and I most definitely belong hereí Ė and at that point it will all makes sense, feel natural and stick.Ē So, the apparent steps back that a few of us are feeling we are taking at the moment are in reality just feelings of confusion that stem from the lighting-speed expansion of our earlier boundaries. And they are also due to raised expectations Ė if we are not getting the results we want at the moment because logistics keep getting in the way, we should all take a step back, pat ourselves on the back until the skin turns red and scream for joy Ė how fucking incredible is it that a mere 25 days after half of us didnít approach an attractive girl for the life of us the biggest obstacle standing in the way of having sex every single night suddenly is merely the mood of that girlís best friend she is with or the lack of a nearby toilet cabin without bathroom attendant patrolling it? Rephrase from ďIím not getting anyĒ to ďFuck yeah, every single night there is some girl that is so damn attracted to me that she is considering having sex with me tonight! Killer!Ē

    I was fairly astonished how good the feedback I received from the instructors today was. It seems I have jumped from being the ďdesignated loserĒ (thatís what I felt I was after the feedback of the first few days) to pretty much being smack dub in the middle of the group. Being called a ďrabid dogĒ for my tenacity and being told that I have ďan eye for talentĒ and that my subcoms are ďincredibleĒ felt almost unreal, but was a very valuable counterbalance to all the doubts about my capabilities, dedication and state I am currently having. It feels great to get both positive feedback as well as very pointed critique coming from such a place of love and goodwill. And I learned a shitload from the feedback for the other guys as well Ė we all have some of the same sticking points in common.

    One major learning from this whole experience is most definitely ďlearn to live in uncomfortable-landĒ. The tension between what we are doing on a nightly basis and what our emotional brain and our old belief system deems to be true is becoming so high that sometimes I feel like one part of me just wants to run for cover to the next corner and cry. And on the other end I am being so proud of myself and the boys for our togetherness and group spirit, our relentlessness and the lust for life we all share. Itís not easy to keep living at the edges of your comfort zone when that beast expands at lightning speed, but thatís where we have to push ourselves to keep living to keep growing at the same reckless pace.

    Itís kinda funny how different this experience Ė and especially the game aspect of it Ė is from what I thought it to be. Weíve been taught the pure mechanics of game for less than a week, and the feedback and instruction we are getting are rather generalist and sparse. No instructor will follow you around, watch your every move and correct it after the interaction or whisper in your ear during the interaction itself. They just keep to the background and soak in the general vibe you are exuding Ė unless you actively go and ask for their opinion. So, a big part of living in uncomfortable-land is just to learn to trust yourself and learn to figure things out for yourself and self-correct. The much bigger focus is on your inner processes Ė how to switch you self-talk from being your biggest critic to being your biggest fan, how to condition your mind to think positively, how to get and keep yourself in state, how to take a step back from your thoughts and feelings, how to catch yourself when you are slipping, how to actively shape your thought processes and emotionsÖ what an awesome experience and what a great opportunity to take control not only of my life, but also of my happiness. Add to that the social skills, the gratefulness, the humbleness, the tenacity, the ingenuity, the creativity, the verbal and body language skills, the social network, the calm confidence, the sharpened eye of the observer, the vast network of driven, optimistic, interesting and successful party people all over the planetÖ this shitís the real deal, and unless we let ourselves slip back into our old ways of being comfortable of being comfortable and living in a fairly unhappy place this is the once in a lifetime opportunity to turn things around and never look back again we have all been waiting for so long. Oftentimes, my emotions canít quite catch up yet and feel all the happiness I have intellectually understood I should be feeling, but I am training myself in gratefulness and happiness every single day and will use the ďrabid dogĒ within me to never let myself down again. Fucking Vegas, baby!

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    Wed. 8/23 Entry:

    During Mondayís debrief, I shared with the guys how I had been feeling. It felt good to get it out. Itís interesting to me how it feels like I am making zero progress, and yet other people see that I have made lots of progress. I had been stuck in a pattern of thinking about where I was falling short in my overall development, instead of acknowledging how much progress I have made over the last year. I am virtually unrecognizable compared to where I was a year ago.

    I just started reading ďThe Power of NowĒ.
    Itís becoming more and more clear to me just how big the gap can be between the me that is ďThe ThinkerĒ, and my best self. I shall be referring to this other version of me, ďThe ThinkerĒ quite a bit from here on out.

    I know see how much of my progress is going to come from my ability to quiet my mind. I seem to be addicted to thinking. When I am on this treadmill of thought, it blocks me off from being my best self.

    This ďThinkerĒ of mine. Surely it must be protecting me from something. What is it protecting me from? It doesnít want me to change. My thinker is concerned only with survival. My thinker wants to fight me to the death over possession of the real me.

    Ok, you wanna battle? I never knew before that it was going to be a fight. Now I know. Letís find out whoís tougher. Game on mother fucker.

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    PR Journal 8

    As the sun rose on the city that never sleeps, I felt like I had just taken a major step forward. Things had clicked. Lets back up a little bit.

    The last time I left you, I had been struggling with an incessant stream of thoughts while Iíd be out. Somehow it just wasnít going away. I was making 10-20 approaches in a night but every one felt like I was trying to turn a rusty wheel. I was less worried about that, and more worried about my growth. During seminar, Sterling said, the guy that goes out and approaches 10 girls a night gets 1 Rockstar. The guy that approaches 40 girls each night is getting 4 Rockstars. I want 4 Rockstars. I want to get everything I can out of the program. I went to one of the instructors I trusted, incidentally who had been the instructor of my first bootcamp with Lovesystems 3 years ago.

    I shared how I was feeling, how I had been approaching, how things had been going. He patted me on the back for the progress so far but what he did tell me was that one thing that was holding me back was what he called the ďSniper MentalityĒ. Iíd be going out at night and specifically looking for girls that were really hot, and I would wait until I found one before actually going to talk to someone. What this means is that every girl I am talking to I am literally thinking before I even go up to her because I have to register whether or not I want to talk with her. Ah. My last 4 nights are making more sense now. He recommended a new approach. Instead of waiting to find girls that I was attracted to before talking, why donít I just talk to everyone, girls guys whoever. I could pass on positive emotions to everyone throughout the night club while at the same time continuing to improve my ability to banter and communicate. Then, if I saw a girl I was interested in, I could always politely part ways and approach the girl that I was interested in. So thatís what I did. What a difference it made.

    I had one of the most fun nights I have ever had since getting on the program. It was just so much easier to have a good time and enjoy myself. From the first minute in the club, I just went approach and had fun with everyone. One after the other. If I saw people in a group, Iíd just go up and say hey and start joking around. And when I saw the fucking cutest girl walk by, I said good bye and opened her straight away. It was great cause I was just so in the moment of everything that there was not time to think and decide what I wanted to say. Ok, I did think about when to approach her for a minute or so but when I did it felt natural. Although that didnít work out, as I walked back out to the club I met the girl who I would go deeper with than anyone outside of the Rockstar group. It just felt like everything fell into place. My bantering was great, I was able to open up right away with her. Normal conversation felt natural. I was able to lead through the night. I felt comfortable introducing her to my friends. It was beautiful. I get to these points and my eyes start to water up. I am just so grateful to be here on this program. Who else can be in such a beautiful place of love and support from the people around me? I love all these guys so much and am just so grateful to be here. It still, 3 and half weeks in, feels like Iím living in a fantasy. Life is literally so good there is not a moment when I am aware of where I am. I know that this is just the beginning of what will be the fulfillment of my hopes and dreams for my life.

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    Day 25-26

    Interesting night. Went to marquee, was pretty dead, just started working the room and having fun. Met a cute Colombian girl who I was a bit interested in, but more interested in practicing, though I sort of couldn’t get rid of her. She was a great and cute girl. Was half assing it a bit, took her to the bungalow with her friend, showed them around. She didn’t want to really be alone with the door closed in the bathroom and wouldn’t come into the bedroom, and I knew why; I was just half assing trying to get blown out but also trying to make something happen. Lesson; half ass it either way and its just shit. Got warmth on the couch, took her back into the club onto the dance floor and turned her on pretty highly, but I was still trying to leave. She came out and found me outside, then SHE suggested we go back to the bungalow, so we did. This time we walked up to the bedroom and went straight in, closed the door and had some pretty great sex on the couch. Lesson: don’t half ass - shortcuts exist but they arent there when effort is minimal

    Most of us had about 1-2 hours sleep and we went for sky diving. It was pretty cool, having done it before I was able to take it all in and enjoy the experience. It was great seeing the first timers experience the rush and the excitement. It was a good bonding experience with the guys, a great primer to moving into the next phase with the road trip.

    Interesting night out at Omnia. I had a number of interactions that were fun, flirty, but wasn’t feeling like I was progressing much. I felt like I was in a bit of a dip. I connected well with a beautiful French girl. Some of the guys had met her the night before, so I figured I'd see whats up. We were getting along great and got deep extremely quickly, but give I'd been half assing a lot that night, it ended up sliding a bit without continuing to build tension and just leading. I was still wanting to hang with the guys on the rooftop, so was half committed to taking her back to the table, which ruined it. The lesson here is that if you don’t hit the bubble where it becomes bf/gf vibe, or keep escalating until something happens/blows up, then the interaction will slide. Lead, make it happen; the hottest girls give you a lot less room for error, will wait around less, and expect more.

    At one point I was at the table and one of the alumni introduced me to one of the cutest little American Asian girls I've met, and she was instantly into me. He said it was cool for me to run with it, but I was still in this weird half assing it place. After a few minutes I was talking to her about group sex and the amazing experiences I've been able to give since being in Vegas. It's cool that when you come from a completely non judgemental place, and make the person feel safe and secure in expressing themselves how many people are up for exploring their fantasies. This night talked to about 8 groups of girls about it, early in the interaction, and they were all either very interested, or at least intrigued by the story that they hung around and asked a lot of questions. That's a reality shifting realisation; many women are intrigued by the idea but hide it for fear of judgement. The alumni that introduced me and I took the girls hand and a short time later left to go to his suite and gave her the best birthday of her life. It all felt so normal and natural, and she was a little nervous about how she'd perform, and my friend was great at providing a safe and comfortable environment. Afterwards we sat up talking for a few hours about life, relationships, and people, before my friend and I headed downstairs for some 6am soup at the bar.

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    Friday 8/25 Post:

    Wednesday was the day of our Final Vegas Debriefs. The overall consensus seems to be that I simply need to integrate. I just need to condition these best parts of me and make them permanent. The only thing I need to focus on is staying out of my head.

    I have caught glimpses of the best version of me over this last year. He is showing up more and more lately. I have learned recently that this best version of me is not something I need to learn. I just need to strip away the things that keep my best self from showing up.

    State management is the name of the game for me. I used to manage my state with drugs and alcohol. But I don’t do that anymore. I now have the tools to do this in a natural way. It is a lot more work. Drugs and alcohol are much easier, and work much faster.

    Wednesday night was an optional night out. Some of the guys went to Surrender Night Swim. I was listening to “The Power of Now” laying on my bed and fell asleep. I woke up and it was 7:30 AM.

    I got a jump on the day. Did some laundry, and worked on some of my conditioning exercises including listening and some scream therapy.

    We cleaned the house a bit, and did some pre-packing. We then had seminar at the house for a few hours until 6:30 PM.

    I listened some more to “The Power of Now” hoping to nap a bit. No luck on the nap.

    Night Out Thurs 8/24 Hakkasan Final Party. What a fucking fantastic night! My state was low to start. But I didn’t panic. I had confidence that I was going to have fun with the boys no matter what. Last night in Vegas. My goal was Have Fun, Be Bold, Lead and make the night fantastic for whoever I could. I did all of these things. These are manageable goals that I can have success with every single night.

    I tried to lead this one girl out at least 4 times. I lead her around the club, played with her, sexualized and was very bold. Even though we didn’t bang, I count it as a success, because I did everything I could do. Who know her reasons. I did what was within my control. I hope somebody (one of us) banged her. God knows she needed it. I was having so much fun hanging with my brothers, that I really didn’t care too much about banging her or anybody else for that matter. (Even though I did push several interactions to their fullest conclusion)

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    PR Journal 9 Aug 24

    This will be my last journal from Las Vegas. It doesnít feel like itís been 4 weeks. What a place to be in.

    We sat down as a group and were debriefed individually on what we needed to do over the next 2 weeks. Even if we are going to be travelling in Europe on our own, it is not the time to get complacent. We need to hit it just as hard while were on this integration period.

    My feedback was very pointed. All the aspects of my game are coming together as I go out. For me to grow itís not enough to just find a girl and then go through and connecting with her. I need to be finding hotter girls and going after them. But there is a problem. I am holding myself back. Sterling put it this way: I live my life in fight or flight mode. At all times I am analyzing everything because I want to make sure that I am safe. Heís totally right, when I am with girls, I am constantly trying to determine whether she likes me or not, how I am doing, what I need to do to win her over. Even with my friends, I constantly am trying to figure out if they actually like me, if what Iím saying is funny. I am running on survival instincts, and my mind is trying to keep me safe. If Iím constantly analyzing how Iím acting I canít let my true self out.

    The antidote is loving myself more. People are familiar with physical conditioning, working out and exercising to get in shape. What I am working on is emotional conditioning. I have about 8 things that I do daily to improve the relationship I have with myself.

    Fast forward a day, I was sitting in bed after the final party thinking about where I had progressed. One of the things that I couldnít get out of my head was the voice saying that my game wasnít that good and the only reason I am seeing success is because I am a good looking guy. It crushed me. I went from joy of hanging with my brothers and relishing in what we have achieved over the last 4 weeks to sadness of not feeling like I had done anything. Then something unexpected happened. All of the sudden a voice in my head chimed in, ďThatís bull shit, you know that you have killed it when you are in flow and it is not just that you are good looking. Even if it does help itís not the only reason why and you know it.Ē Woah. I literally sat there in stunned silence. My mind just went ahead and defended me. It was beautiful. For the first time I did not have to bring up reasons consciously for why I was in fact a worthy hardworking person. I know I still have a lot of work to do. But I have hope. As I continue to work on this, I can change my fuel for life from survival instincts to love and contribution. And when I do, watch out.

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    PR Journal 10 Sat Aug 26

    We landed in Europe. I am in Europe right now. Holy shit. Mind blowing. I want to make this quick, Vici talked with me about that feeling, that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you see a hot girl and act on that feeling. That is something that needs to be cultivated. I realized today, that I have been living two lives. In one life, I am a bold motherfucker who takes no prisoners and goes after what he wants in life. In the other, I tip toe around shit and do not live life to my edge. Game helped me realize this. I have been flipping on a switch when I go out. When I’m ready to go approach girls I make a mental shift into ok it’s time to approach instead of just being present in the moment and letting life flow around me, through me, and for me. While I am present, I am in my element. I am not nervous. I can feel myself, my energy. It’s boldness and it’s masculinity. That is what I need to channel. I decided I was going to stay in tonight. Everyone but 3 of us went out. The reason I wanted to, was so that I could write this journal and do my conditioning. Obviously, going out and making bold moves is going to be important. But as I learned in my group debrief, my mind lives in fight or flight mode. And I can feel it. My brain makes all kinds of crippling excuses when I see attractive girls on the street. “She’s busy, you’re friends will judge you if it doesn’t go well, she’ll slap you, people will laugh at you.” I’m with the best people ever and I am still thinking they would think less of me because of how a girl treats me. Lol. So I decided to do some conditioning for my mind. It is important. I want to move forward in my life. I believe that with everything I am doing, I will move from a place of survival, scarcity, fear, safety, and significance, to a place of love, abundance, joy, growth, and contribution.

    Another thing. I need to budget. I realized this earlier, I invite a lot of stress into my life because I am not disciplined. I have high goals. In order to reach those goals I need to sacrifice. When it comes to money, I have lived my first 25 years knowing that money was important and that I couldn’t spend like water and then when it came to it I would just not do what I said I was going to do. It doesn’t have to be like this, where I overspend 5 times and then I have to live like a peasant for 3 months at a time saving every dime and not hanging out with friends. I came here to learn more about talking to girls and here I am learning about finances. Let’s be real, being a man means taking responsibility for your actions and your life. I am not being a man if I am letting my finances dictate the terms of my life and not the other way around.

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    PR Vegas Reflection

    I’m a couple days removed from Vegas now so I feel prepared to talk about the experience.

    It has been in short the most transformational month I have lived. I have friends texting me asking me how it’s going, or giving me shit for just “partying” all the time. If only they understood 5% of what we’ve accomplished. The instructor core promised that we would see change in our life. I don’t think any of us thought we would be seeing it so fast.

    Vegas set the foundation for strong social skills for the rest of my life. Starting with the 10 day, we are given the blueprint for successful social interactions. If you want more details on that please read my 10 day reflection. As much as the 10 day accomplishes, teaching game and giving the foundation for building yourself, there is no way to compare it with the entire Vegas experience. Just time wise it’s another 18 days, or 3x the amount of nights out that a 10 day student is getting. Sure, you can make up that ground in real life, but that is seriously discounting the skill of the instructor team.

    I had the pleasure to work with every single instructor at some capacity. If I can share anything, it’s make an effort to connect with every person you meet. Even if it’s a small one, it can make all the difference. Case and point, I was blessed to work with Vici, one of the founders of Rockstar, as my focused instructor while in Vegas. Although he saw me the most, when we had our final group debrief, every single instructor was able to give me feedback because I went out of my way to interact and work with them. It seems like just a small advantage, but having someone to take apart each interaction and give you pointed feedback on what you need to do to improve exponentially speeds up the process. Going farther, each one has strengths and making use of all of them gives me the best chance of having the most well rounded education. But the instructor team is just the tip of the iceberg.

    The environment is really where this program shines. We were actually talking about this yesterday, if someone had enough money to pay for their own Rockstar it wouldn’t be the same. It couldn’t. There is a saying, you are the sum average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Living in the Vegas house, I was living with a group of guys who all came on this program for one reason: They were unhappy with their relationships with women and want more out of their life. When you have all of that energy built up from not just 4 months of applications and interviews, 3 months of fitness, but years and years of unsatisfied relationships, you have a very powerful catalyst for change already in every person. Even though we all come from different backgrounds, every man that becomes a Rockstar is here to grow and improve. And that’s where this gets interesting.

    Everyone always talks about the importance of inner game, the relationship you have with yourself. It gets touched on briefly within the 10 day but it’s so much more important than the 2 days it gets touched on. Every person on here has a backstory. Every person on here has had pain in their life that has brought them to a point to want to invest 3 months of their life working to improve themselves and spending upwards of 30k during that time. We are driven individuals. We wouldn’t have been invited without it. That drive has been as much a blessing as it has a curse. I know for me, my whole life has been driven in a pursuit to increase my safety and my significance. I want more money so I worry less. I want prettier girls and more toys so my friends will want to be friends with me. It’s not a bad thing to desire and to want things. It’s where it’s coming from. Because for all the growth that I have seen, the attitude I have carried has eaten away at my soul. I literally still think all the time, “will my friends still like me if I do this, am I making the right decision here, can I spend this money here, oh she didn’t respond she doesn’t like me, I’m worthless, I’ll never get better, what’s the point.” It’s like smoking cigarettes, you feel great when you light up, but it goes away eventually, and in order to get that high back you have to smoke another one, all the while inviting cancer into your body literally through tar and toxic smoke in the lungs. When you run your life with an instinct for survival, my short bursts of achievement were always over shadowed by self deprecation and low self esteem. In order to achieve more I would have to go to a lower place. If you want more specifics on my experience with the inner game portion, I go into more detail in that specific reflection. We all came into this running on the same fuel. I’m sure everyone has improved. I know for sure I am in a much better headspace than I was at the end of the 10 day. And still I find myself moving back towards the poisonous fuel coming from my mind. It takes time and effort to transfer to living life from a place of love and abundance. But the reward on the other side is a life of joy, freedom, happiness, love, satisfaction, fulfillment achievement, all while maintaining a head space of self love and love for the people around you. That is what I’m after. Sure, I love beautiful girls, but the promise of a life unshackled from self-destructive thoughts and feelings will translate into success in every area of my life. That is what this program has helped me get to: a place where I can work at this. And I think that’s why the Vegas leg was so important.

    The easiest part of learning anything in this day and age is getting the knowledge. Getting mentorship and experience is a whole different animal. There are million books on starting a business, but how easy is it to get help starting your business from knowledgeable sources in your field? Maybe for you, but to a layperson with no connections it’s hard. I can go to a Tony Robbins seminar, but getting 1:1 support with 20 guys know who I am as a person and love and support everything I do? Good luck.

    It doesn’t feel real. I’m writing this update from a private villa on the Greek island of Mykonos. It doesn’t feel like I have even left where I am. It just feels like life. I guess that’s the point. I want to come back home and when I look at my normal life just think to myself well that’d be weird. I definitely don’t want to do that. There is not going back. Even if everything stopped today, I know I have the resources to work on myself and the quality of life I want to live for the next 5 years, if not the rest of my life. And we still have 6 more weeks.

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    Roadtrip Diary #1

    Been an intense few days with a shitload of travelling. Vegas to Frankfurt to Cologne to Mykonos in a day and a halfÖ Was great though having the opportunity to show the brothers where I live and to give them a sense of where Iím coming from and what the environment Iím used to is like. And herding 13 guys with a rather flexible to attitude to punctuality and a dire lack of sleep across a bunch of means of transportation was a quite intense experience, tooÖ had fun doing it, but am happy not to have to do it every day, or Iíd never be able to let myself go with the flow and learn something new, but instead stick to my trusted ways of being a rational and efficient project manager who logics his way through everything.

    And now Mykonos Ė the gayest and most expensive island in Europe. Why did we pick that place again? From what I hear, pretty much all of us are having somewhat of a hard time adapting. This place is so different from Vegas. If you just walk up to random girls and say I, the reaction most often is a middle finger rather than a smile. Clubs are so small that you have to go really slow not to burn through all the girls in there within an hour, and food portions are so small that spending 50 bucks makes you not full, but even more hungryÖ we are on our way to overspend the already luxurious rockstar budget by a lot, and I am somewhat worried about that.

    On the other hand, itís your challenges that make you grow, as they say, and challenges abound at the moment. On one of the last days in Vegas, the instructors told us to expect ďthe dipĒ Ė a downturn in state that inevitably follows a period of intense growth and that will make you feel like youíve learned next to nothing. Thatís the point where most people give up and the point where rockstars can show what theyíre made of and just keep pushing and pushing to eventually break through and break free of old habits. So, if the depth of the dip is any indication of the growth to be had, boy will I grow in leaps and boundsÖ

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    Journal #9

    Sunday August 20, 2017. Wet Republic

    Iíve been waiting to go to a day party with the boys since day one of the Gethin Workout Program. On tough days this was the motivation I had. I kept telling myself that all the food I didnít eat, all the training sessions I pushed myself through it was all for this. It would all be worth it when we rolled up to the Beach Club looking shredded. This was our chance.

    At first it felt a bit different approaching girls in the broad day light, compared to a club environment, but it wasnít really.

    Ironically I get a little bit more nervous approaching girls who are half naked compared to when theyíre wearing clothes but after talking to a couple really beautiful girls it felt normal.

    Me and another Rockstar saw some hot girls we could find and went and talked to them right away. And quickly I realized that besides the fact that they weíre already half naked, It was the sameÖ

    Within a couple minutes they told me I look like the guy from One Direction. After that, BOOM, weíre bantering and having a good time. Something Iíve learned on Rockstar is that it doesnít always turn into something, but it doesnít have to either. It all starts with being social.

    Me and a group of the guys meandered around the pool and started talking to groups of girls, until one girl stuck. Like glue.

    It was still pretty early in the day, so her and I spent the afternoon in the pool, hanging with the guys at the table, hanging with her friends at the pool. Back and forth back and forth.

    It got to the point where we both wanted to leave, several times over. But we couldnít. She was with three of her friends who were drinking. A lot. And she didnít want to leave them. I understood, but I still wanted to move the interaction forward so I tried to solve the logistics.

    I said we should go to her hotel room, then come back. I said we should go to the mansion then come back. I said we should hook up in the pool, even though I wasnít going to do that. it was too crowded to do anything in the pool party. This was one of the first times on the program I ran into such a green light and I couldnít come up with a wa to solve the logistics problems.

    It got to the point where all we were doing was making out with each other because we had talked about everything we could possibly talk about already, but she couldnít leave her friends.

    There was one other Rockstar left at the day club, so I said goodbye to my girl and headed home with him. Fully prepared that I would never see this girl again.

    Being sober walking out of the day club was like walking through a battle field. There were condoms, beer bottles, empty cups floating in the pool and drunk girls floating in the pool.

    Vegas can be a messy city, but the pool parties are on another level.

    Sunday August 20,2017 ó XS Night swim BONUS NIGHT.

    Technically we had the night off but some of the guys wanted to go out. Iím not one to be left behind so I said I was coming even though I was tired as hell, and a good nightís sleep would do me wonders.

    The girl I spent all afternoon with was texting me, she was going to XS too, and seemed very committed to meeting up. More motivation to go.

    We arrived and I was in a very good place. The banter was free flowing, I didnít care about being blown out, plus we had already been talking to girls all day.

    I knew the girl from the Afternoon was coming so I got right too it when we arrived. I started talking to a really hot British girl who was there with her friends. And between me and some of the other rockstars, we were killing the banter. If I could choose how I feel whenever I talked to a girl this is how I would want to feel.

    Eventually the Brits ran off to pee, which worked out well because my girl from the afternoon got there shortly after, and I donít know if anything would have happened with the British girl.

    I was worried that the girl from the afternoon wouldnít want to leave her friends, since that was the only issue all afternoon. But after hanging out for a couple minutes she whispered to me:

    ďI wish we could sneak off for a while.Ē

    ďWeíll be right back.Ē I said to her friends and grabbed her by the hand and headed to the exit.

    I had already hooked up with a couple girls inside XS and I knew that itís possible to do it inside the club. There was more security in the club tonight than the previous occasions I had done it. So we went into the casino, and towards the bathroom.

    ďJust follow my lead. Act casual.Ē I dropped her hand and we walked down the hallway towards the bathroom and right before I walked into the menís room I grabbed her by the hips and pulled her in, and we ran into a stall. There was only one guy standing in the hall way that might have seen us.

    We started making out and undressed as much as we needed to.

    A while later I heard someone moving around the bathroom. I stopped and told her to get dressed. I wanted to leave the stall so I cracked the door and someone was cleaning the bathroom. I closed the door, weíll have to wait him out.

    A couple minutes later someone knocked on the door.

    ďSecurity open up,Ē

    We weíre dressed at this point so I opened the door and a burly security guard was looking at us.

    ďThis is a menís only bathroom.Ē He said.

    ďSorry, we were just arguing. So we came in her to argue.Ē

    ďWhat part of a menís only bathroom donít you understand?Ē

    I was trying to think of something to say and she goesÖ

    ďOk, weíll leave.Ē

    Simple.

    I grabbed her and pulled her back into the club.

    We met up with her friends, we met up with my friends and hung out for a while then I said good bye. She was flying back to Chicago in the morning.

    Me and another Rockstar went and hung out on the strip and got a picture in front of the ďWelcome to Las VegasĒ sign. It was cool just to hang out, talk about life at 5:30 in the morning and see something in Vegas that we wouldnít normally see given the schedule of Rockstar.

    As cool as it is to have sex in the bathroom of a club, hanging out and making these bonds are what Iím going to value the most when itís all said and done.

    Monday August 21, 2017 ó Marquee

    This is my favorite spot that weíve been to in Vegas.

    Maybe itís just because two of the hottest girls Iíve met since Iíve been her had been at Marquee. Or because our Bugalow set up is too good, but either way I always seem to have a good time at Marquee. Plus tonight the out doors are open.

    We had only been there an hour or so when I saw girl I wanted to talk to so I went up to her and stood in front of her without saying anything. Before I could say my name her friend said I looked like Harry Styles.

    We hung out for a while and another Rockstar was talking to her friend, so I said the four of us should go to the Bungalow. We left two of her friends and off we went.

    It was still early so the Bungalow wasnít in full go mode yet. We showed them around, before they said they had to go.

    I held her back from her friend and pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. I would have pulled her onto the patio and into the hot tub, but I saw a naked girl climbing around out there so I didnít.

    We went back downstairs and she said she should get back to her friends at the club. Ok fair enough. We went back to the club, and from there she disappeared.

    The rest of the night I couldnít get anything to stick, so when an instructor asked if I wanted to go to the strip club at 4 am I was ready.

    We joked around with the strippers for a couple hours then went home. I fell asleep at 7 and woke up at 8 to go jump out of a plane.

  90. #90
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    Journal #10

    Tuesday August 22, 2017.

    For some reason I wasn’t tired when I woke up. I think it was nervous excitement to jump out of a fucking plane…

    The drive there, getting suited up, watching safety videos and filling out paper work took more than twice the time it took to actually jump out of the plane. But holy shit it was worth it.

    I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Letting go and free falling out of an air plane was a feeling I can’t really describe. It was pure adrenaline and excitement.

    I hit the ground feeling more connected to the guys who jumped, and more ready to take on the world than ever before.

    Tuesday August 22, 2017—Omnia

    The idea of talking to a girl seemed enjoyable and easy compared to jumping out of an airplane. So I talked to a lot of girls but didn’t gain any traction until later in the night.

    Me another Rockstar, and an instructor staked out the girls washroom where we were able to talk to some of the hottest girls I’ve seen since I’ve been in Vegas.

    This is where I got some serious growth. Hot girl after hot girl after hot girl walked by. These weren’t the average girls you saw around the club, these girls were so hot they scared me.

    I was getting now where but I felt good about it. Getting blown off by a girl like that feels like a win in itself because it makes me feel something. It moves the radar.

    As we were standing there I met a couple of Canadians who were standing beside me. They were, fun, genuine and blonde. We hit it off immediately, so I brought in another Rockstar to talk to her friend. We went back to the table for a bit then we all left together.

    We drove home and then gave them tours of the mansion finishing in the bedroom.

    Wednesday August 23, 2017 — Surrender BONUS NIGHT.

    Today we did our final debrief for the Vegas leg of the trip. I got the feedback that I needed.

    Essentially it was that for me to grow I need to focus on talking to the girls that scare me. Like we did at Omnia. The one’s that are so hot that I feel like they’re out of my league. Plus along with that I’m still talking to women from a place of “I hope something comes from this.” Instead of “ You’re lucky I’m talking to you. Because I will change your life.” Eye opening insight and that’s the reason I came on this program.Hearing that from the instructor team was awesome. Exactly what I needed to hear for my last couple nights in Vegas and what I can work on before Europe.

    Again we have the night off, and while a good night’s sleep is not just recommended at this point it’s required. BUUUUUT I didn’t come here to sleep, and on the other hand most of the boys are going out, there’s only two night’s left so I might as well make the most of it. Right?

    This was probably the slowest night I’ve had in terms of getting started. There wasn’t many HOT, HOT girls. It’s funny because the first night I was at Surrender that’s all I could think of “wow there’s so many hot girls here.”

    Without instructors we got a taste of what it will be like in Europe to do this on our own. And it seems like we’ll be fine.

    I mostly hung out with the guys, had a couple of fun interactions, then went home around 4 A.M for an “early night.”

    Thursday August 24, 2017. — Final Vegas Party Hakkasaan.

    We went over to one of the instructors hotel rooms before the club. It was cool seeing those guys who seem so serious a lot of the time just relaxed and having fun, talking about life.

    We got to the club and before we went in, I saw a bunch of the Love Systems people I worked with before the program started. It was fun talking to them for a couple minutes and catching up. I wondered how they see me now? They’ve seen me grow over the last year and it’s only now that I feel like I’m starting to hit my stride.

    It was another Hakkasan night in Table 64. I pushed myself to talk to a lot of hot girls including bottle girls, something I want to keep doing going forward.

    I met one really cute girl but she was talking to someone else in our table and they kicked her out already (lol). We hit it off pretty well, and her and I talked for a while, but nothing came of it because I was hesitant to move her around the club. Looking back I should have said to her friends that we’re going to the table and that we would come find them later. But I realized I was starting to rely on the table a bit much.

    That’s ok, I spent most of the night hanging out with the guys and bonding with the alumni and students that I might not see again for a while. It’s pretty crazy to think that Vegas is over….

    We stayed up by the pool until the sun was coming up, then went to bed for a couple hours before heading to the air port.

    It’s been a pleasure Vegas, next stop Europe.

  91. #91
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    Las Vegas Recap

    Vegas Reflection.

    It seems like yesterday I was full of tension and anxiety waiting for the instructors to walk us into into Marquee for the unofficial start of the program. In reality it was less than a month ago, but so much has happened in that time that it also feels like that night was 2 years ago. ..

    Iíd love to know the actual number of women Iíve talked to over the last month. But it really doesnít matter. The glow from a one night stand starts to fade right after itís all said and done. Meanwhile the things Iíve learned about life, about dating and most importantly about myself in Las Vegas are priceless and they will last forever.

    I will never be able to look at Las Vegas the same. To most people Vegas is a vacation get away where they can forget about their lives, but I learned how to take control of my life in this city, I learned how to become a man that doesnít need a vacation from his life, because his life is fucking amazing. I will never be able to see Las Vegas the same again. I feel like a local in this city, especially the last couple days. I know how to get around, I know the best clubs for the best days of the week and I know how to get into and out of most of the casinos and night clubs.

    That means Iím too comfortable here. Itís time to move on and work on the next stage in my self development.

    Part of me is sad Iím leaving, but I feel confident that I got exactly what I needed to get from the Vegas leg of this program. We could stay here for another week and continue to progress, but it would be minimal compared to the improvement we would see in Europe. Europe is going to be just what I need. Iím taking the feedback the instructors gave me on Wednesday and Iím ready to run with it.

    Iím loving the place we are at as a group leaving Vegas. We are all growing individually, and we are getting closer as a group. As far as I can tell there is no huge divide between us. There are no singular groups. Instead we seem to be a pretty cohesive unit that knows together we will see more success than individually. I havenít been a part of a group thatís this close since I played sports. Itís something Iíve been craving in the last couple years and Iím glad I found it here.


    Weíve been warned repeatedly that this isnít a vacation. Itís integration, itís immersion. Itís our opportunity to keep improving in a conducive environment for growth, before we go back to our ďnormal livesĒ. Iím feeling confident that if we put in the extra work weíve all been doing we will be in an amazing place going into Sweden, and moving forward.

    I havenít been outside of Canada/the U.S. in at least five years, so Europe will be a nice change for me. Plus Euros seem to be healthier than Americans. After a month in Vegas most of the gains I picked up from our workout program seem to be fading. Thereís not much I can do about that, but at the very least Europe means lighter meals, and more walking. I can feel myself coming from a place of fear when it comes to fitness. I was clinging to the results I got on the pre Rockstar program, but itís impossible to maintain that level of fitness. Itís only now that Iím accepting that. This is an important lesson to learn because for the foreseeable future fitness is going to be part of my lifestyle, itís not going to be my lifestyle. I say this, because I know that previously Iíve had negative thoughts about my body that have caused me to live in fear/scarcity, which means that the way I think about myself would be the source of a lot of negative thoughts. No matter how good of shape Iím in. But since our meditation retreat, I noticed the mental shifts are starting to lock themselves in day by day.

    A negative thought might still creep into my mind, but where before it would have fucked with me for hours, and sometimes days, now I know how to handle it properly so that recognize it for what it is, a thought. I can usher it out the door, and move forward. Itís not perfect but Iím still working on it, and mentally itís much healthier.

    Itís going to take work to lock these mental changes in, but Iím committed to putting the work in, and I know that I will. Itís going to pay benefits in the long term. It might be easier to control those thoughts, and to spend time locking them in without 5 hours of seminar and information coming in on a daily basis.

    Thursday before we went out, and Friday before going to the airport the Rockstars got to spend some time together just hanging out and bullshiting. There was no seminar, no real agenda, so it was a little taste of what the next couple weeks are going to be like. And if there anything like that itís going to be fucking awesome. A free flowing schedule that we can settle into. And bond with each other. Iíve felt that these couple days Iíve gotten to form stronger and stronger bonds with the guys, just by doing our normal thing together. Iím nostalgic for Vegas, but Iím excited for the next stage in our progressionÖ


    As we weíre waiting to board the plane to Europe, we watched the flight attendants get on the plane before us, and our collective jaws dropped. They were hot, both of them. Hotter than the girls we had been talking to in Vegas. Youíd have to fly all over the United States to find flight attendants that looked like thisÖ

    Europe is going to be fun.

  92. #92
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    Update 7

    Monday we do some group hot yoga to relax in a yoga studio. Awesome experience. Iím pretty hopeless at yoga but its definitely interesting to learn. Afterwards I had a glow of relaxation. Myself and another rockstar burn that off by hitting the gym. Both of us start a brief interaction with different girls at the gym. My fellow rockstar hits up the girl who works at the gym. I love being with this rockstar because he has amazing energy and a very sharp wit that naturally attracts girls. Watching is a learning experience, and shows me where I need to get to banter wise. I approach a young girl in the gym. She opens very friendly. She is 18 and 20 years younger than me. Its close to my grey area on being too young so I keep the conversation friendly and donít sexualise it.

    Tuesday Wednesday we complete a 2 day meditation bootcamp in the house. Preparation for this part of the program is strict. Food is limited to a narrow range of options and the inner game seminars are focused on what you want to get out of the mediatation ceremory. Although I donít consider myself spiritual or religious, it is a one of a kind ceremory experience and I got a tremendous amount of growth out of it. The 2 key insights I got was ďhow to love myself moreĒ and ďhow to be a better version of myselfĒ. Words canít describe how the inner game and then meditation ceremony has now permanently changed by outlook on life in a massive way. Definitely one of the biggest highlights of the program. Fixing the inside you first, and then your positive vortex will make life so much better around you in every way possible.

    Thursday night is a night off for reflection after the meditation ceremony.

    Friday night is Omnia. It is a fantastic environment. I do a bunch of approaches. Iím not sure who brought 2 girls to the table, but after a while I start spending time with 1 really attractive girl. She spends most of the night on the balcony watching the DJ, but I find her melting with me. There is no way she wants to leave before the DJ is finished. My fingers wander a little as we dance and I find her boundaries are quiet wide. She mentions that my hands feel so good. I take this as a green light. I donít act on it straight away but in my own time there is more wandering. A bit earlier in the night another Rockstar pulls her friend back to the house. Mine didnít want to leave until the DJ is finished.

    Eventually the DJ finishes and we leave. My diamond card pays dividends again and we skip the long taxi queue. She is all over me in the taxi and I cool her down a bit until we are in a place where we can have sex. I know she is DTF so I give her a quick tour of the house. It almost blows up because she runs into her friend near the pool. Learning note next time Ė if they are DTF maybe do the tour after sex. Her friend even talks about them both leaving and going back to the hotel. Luckily my girl says firmly ďwe are not leaving yetĒ. The friend agrees and says Ė yeah no problems. Both girls end up spending the night and sleeping at the house. My roommate gets woken up to me and my girl going for round 2 in the morning. I had already planted the seed for group sex and my girl was open to it but I totally forgot to hit my roommate up. He started talking after I finished sex, and we had a super normal conversation and it was no big deal that he was 2 meters away from a couple banging away moments ago.

  93. #93
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    Vegas Reflection:

    We just took off from McCarren International Airport in Las Vegas, headed for Mykonos, Greece via Frankfort, Germany.

    It seems like months ago that I touched down in Las Vegas for the start of my Rockstar Journey. So much has happened in just one month. I donít ever remember packing so much into such a short period of time.

    I canít help feeling a sense that life will never be the same after this, and weíre not even halfway done. No matter what happens, I get to experience the rest of my life in a different pair of shoes, as a different person than I would have, had I not gotten to have this experience. The trajectory of my life has already been altered in ways I cannot even begin to fully realize.

    I couldnít even begin to try and describe this past month to any of my old friends or family. Where would I even start? If I try to figure what they have probably been doing this last month, or what I would have been doing this past month had I not been on Rockstar, I cannot even begin.

    I have had many periods of self-doubt during this last month. Wondering if this stuff was even going to work on me. Or would I be the one guy in Rockstar history that was unphased, unchanged by it all. Would I be the guy doomed to return to his same old life as the same guy he had been before, only now unable to ďunknowĒ what he has seen and learned. That would be the cruelest thing I could imagine. To get a glimpse of who I could have become, and the life I could have lived, only to have to live in the prison of being unable to fully realize my true potential as a man.

    The morning after our intense meditation ceremony, I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that I would not let me down. I said to myself, ďYou can fucking count on me! No matter what it takes, I will never stop. I wonít let you down!Ē I actually made a voice recording of me talking to myself saying all these things. I now listen to this recording every day to give me the strength and determination I need to get me through the times when I am feeling not as strong.

    I have learned many things during our time in Las Vegas this past month. Itís safe to say I have already learned way more than I bargained for.

    During my first 3 weeks here, I felt very much like an outsider. Ten years older than the next oldest Rockstar. Twenty years older than some. Twenty seven years older than the youngest. None of the other Rockstars have even heard of most of the music that I like. I have never heard of most of the music that they like. I found myself not getting much of the humor that was going around. A very rough start. I did not feel like a part of for most of the beginning. This all began to change just a few days ago. Tuesday Aug 22. The group let me know how they all felt about me. It felt really good to know that they all loved me, no matter what kind of state I was in. They let me know that they would rather have me around even if I was feeling very fucked-up at the time. They were there to support me, and to help me through those rough spots. They made me feel like I was missed when I was not around. It was then that I knew that we were truly a group- a cohesive unit, and that no man would be left behind.

    This opened my eyes to what was at stake. My ďstateĒ affects the group. Itís on me to do all the work necessary to get out of my head, and into the present. This is a life and death matter for me. For if I canít live the life I know that I am capable of, I would sooner be dead. My old life is not worth living as far as Iím concerned.

    Due to whatever circumstances, I have to work much harder every day to make sure that I stay out of my head. Thatís ok. I accept that. This is a small price to pay for the life that I get to live now. The rewards for spending an hour and a half per day on my emotional fitness are astronomical. The consequences for not spending this time each day are death. Thereís leverage for you. Moving forward, I have to be just as diligent about my emotional sobriety as I was with my sobriety from drugs and alcohol over twelve years ago.

    Essentially, I am in early emotional sobriety. My emotional fitness is still on shaky ground. I am in a fragile state. This will not always be the case. As I get stronger, I will be less and less worried about ďwhich guy is going to show upĒ.

    I will be asking the guys to hold me accountable for doing what I need to do each day to get stronger.

    Last night was a very special night. One of the instructors that I respect the most shared with me how proud he was of me for the progress I have made since he first met me over a year ago. He told me how strong he thought I was for the things that I have overcome.


    He told me that he had no doubt that if I stay on my current path, that I will be able to help lots of people that even he could not help.

    I know now that In order for me to fully contribute, I will have to become more than I currently am. I now see that the work I am presently doing on myself, for myself, has the potential for a much higher purpose.

    I want to be able to help other people overcome similar things to what I have been through. I am proud of myself for choosing this path that I am on.

  94. #94
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    Monday 8/28 Post:

    Iím sitting on the balcony of our villa in Mykonos, Greece, looking out over the Agean Sea. Three weeks ago, I had never heard of this place. Now, I am living a life that I could not have dreamed of.

    We touched down Sunday morning at about 9 AM. I slept for about 1.5 hours on the plane. After getting our bags from the conveyor belt, we all got into 3 taxi vans and headed for our villa.

    I was surprised about the temperature. I thought it would be hot as fuck, but it was really quite mild. It actually felt a bit cool and breezy. I was a bit relieved, because I am very hot natured. Usually, while others are cold, I am often sweating.

    It seems like every building, every house and every structure on this entire island is white. It looks like little white-frosted cakes scattered everywhere from above.

    After a few minutes of some narrow, winding roads, we arrived at our villa. Some of the rooms were ready, but mine was not. I lay down on the nearest sofa, and took a nap for a while.

    When I awoke, I caught a ride with a fellow Rockstar into town to grab some lunch and rent a scooter. We lost a couple of guys on the way due to logistical challenges. They were pissed, and let it be known that they didnít appreciate being left behind.

    We addressed the problem, and agreed that local SIM cards for all phones and better planning before heading out as a group, would help to avoid these snafus in the future.

    We headed back to the Villa, where my room was now ready. I got settled in somewhat and laid down for a nap before going out for the night.

    We had a nice dinner at some restaurant. (I canít remember the name at this point). After, we went to a club called Astra and hung out until about 5 AM. Grabbed a couple of killer Gyros before heading home on the scooter.

  95. #95
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    Update 8

    Saturday night is Hakissan. Great night approaching many many girls. I find a girl Iím into and bring her and her friend to the table. Another Rockstar wings with the friend and actually pulls his girl back to the house early. My girl and me hang out in MGM casino bar.

    My head is in a really good spot and girls are really lucky to hang out with such an awesome guy. Infact the girl from last night had been texting on and off. She wanted to hang out so badly she grabs a cab to the house and texts me when she is on the way. I respond that Iím not at the house but her phone is flat. I tell her to come to MGM. What a rockstar problem Ė Iím with 1 girl and another girl is chasing me. I donít know how Iím going to handle 2 girls both at MGM Ė but I figured Iíd have at least 15mins to fully push my girls boundaries and still have a plan B available.
    I go to my girls room that she shares with her friend. She has some issues around sex and after 2 hours I head back to the house without sex. The old me would have been super disappointed that I didnít get want I wanted. The new me was really happy that in a little way I was able to help this girl with her issues. We didnít go all the way but it was still a positive experience. Plan B girl texts and I can tell she is a little annoyed Ė she spent $60 on cabs and didnít get what she wanted sexually. She pulls the pin on seeing me at MGM which was perfectly fine for me.


    Wet republic Sunday day pool party. This is first and only pool for the vegas leg of the program. I spent most of the day with my girl from the previous night. I thought there was a good chance we would finish off what we started the day before. I used push / pull during the day and it works very well to build a bond. Its obvious how much a girl is into you when you push her away and she canít stand being away from u. I wanted to have a swim early, before the pool got too ďpollutedĒ. My girl wasnít keen for a swim yet, which worked out well Ė I could do a few approaches in the pool without appearing disrespectful in front of my girl. I was gone for probably 30mins and my girl commented how she missed me.

    We leave the pool party a bit early before it gets too messy. Pool parties seem to get people a lot more drunk than nightclubs. I lead my girl and I suggest we head back to her room to order room service. Once we get back to the room and I start kissing her. She comments she thought I actually had a plan, not just to get her to the bedroom and for me to sexually escalate. I own the decision and I tell her of course Iím a man with sexual desires, she is hot as fuck, and Iím unapologetic. After 3hrs of solid LMR we finally have sex.

    She had some personal issues and she felt exposed. I wanted to help her and give. She did mention probably 50 times in the bedroom that we werenít having sex. After a couple hours I said if she was 100% serious about not having sex, she needs to repeat ď200% I donít want to have sex with you, that is my final decisionĒ and Iíll stop everything physical and sexual. She struggled for 10mins to say this, but eventually did. I was 99.9% certain we werenít going to have sex. We just chilled for 30mins, but we both found it difficult not to touch each other due to the huge amount of chemistry. I was firm with her and said she needs to stop touching me because its turning me on and thatís not cool if we canít release through sex. She stops for a bit. I mention that in a while Iíll need to leave and we wonít see each other again in vegas as its her last night.

    I notice she starts touching me again. I warn her that if she doesnít stop I will rip her pants off and fuck the shit out of her Ė and I wonít stop. She doesnít say anything or react which in itself is a massive positive sign. She briefly stops touching my ear, and then starts again. I act exactly per my previous warning and the sex is great. 5 hours LMR over 2 days is now my record. It was a good learning experience for both of us.

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    Update 9

    XS nightswim Sunday night. I was a little flat this night, tired from the pool party and also my sex drive was satisfied from the earlier interaction. I did a bunch of approaches but came home relatively early at 3ish. Unfortunately one of the guys had his wallet stolen in the club.


    Marquee Monday we had the bungalow again. Fortunately the outside area is open and we have access to the bungalow from the club. Itís a great party but none of my interactions get close to having sex.

    Tuesday during the day we all do skydiving as a group. Amazing experience and even more awesome to do it with a bunch of fantastic people. Alright alright alright !!



    Omnia tuesday night started pretty awesome doing banter with random strippers on the way in. I found a chick by herself outside the club and did an approach. I had like 2 mins to build a connection as I had to pee and also didnít want to be late to the table line. We meet up again inside and she was super into me. Logistics get in the way and her 2 friends end up getting super sick and she needs to take them home. I try to keep in touch with this girl but Iíve learnt vegas especially, you often only get one chance with a girl Ė despite any promises made by both parties to reconnect later in the night or following days.

    Surrender - Wednesday

    As our vegas leg is winding down, wednesday night is officially not a going out night but 80% of us end up going out anyway. The night starts off great, I'm winging one of my really close Rockstars. He has fantastic banter skills. We open 2 or 3 groups of girls outside the club and then a few other once we get in. We get a few numbers and keep approaching other girls. Soon me and the other Rockstar start chatting to 2 candian girls. The is really keen for sex but my friend decides to look for some more attractive chicks. Once I have the 2 girls to myself I can sense they are both really into me and my aussie accent. They seem a little crazy bouncing off the walls so Iím thinking there is a good chance of a threesome. Without wasting too much time I pull them out of the club and we head back to the house. On the way I plant the idea of group sex and they are really interested in honest answers about how many girls Iíve slept with in vegas. My openness and honesty blew their minds and got them turned on even more.

    Once we got back to the house I sensed a threesome may not be happening and I had to choose between the better looking girl who said ďwe are not having sex tonightĒ and the friend that was DTF straight away. I choose the challenge. Rockstar is about the process and learning from it. I didnít think I would learn from the easy option. In the end I got a lot of LMR that I couldnít break through and the girl only wanted sex on the 2nd date. She pretty much guaranteed it would happen the 2nd night. I told her that I probably wonít see her the next day and I mentioned I might just bang her friend tonight. She was fine with it, but mentioned she wouldnít text the next day if I did hook up with her friend. I said casually thatís fine. I went outside to the pool and the other girl ended up being sick whilst I was gone. It was a major turnoff for me and the girls ended up leaving via uber.

    The next day I text my girl and mentioned that we werenít going to catch up for that 2nd date. I mentioned they could change my mind if they were open to a threesome. I mentioned that if it was outside their comfort zone then they didnít need to reply at all. They replied changing the topic slightly but wasnít a yes or no. Basically for the 2nd day in a row I was giving up guaranteed sex and pushing boundaries to their extreme. There is no way the old me would have passed up sex especially with relatively good looking women. Who the hell says ďthreesome or nothing !Ē. Either someone with arrogance or Rockstar abundance. I donít recognise myself lol.

  97. #97
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    Update 10

    Thursday night is our last vegas night. It is an amazing night. I want the focus of my night to be a celebration with the other boys. Its not about girls, its about ourselves, our journey so far and what an amazing bunch of guys are helping me become the best version of myself.

    Although the focus of the night isnít on girls we manage to still do a bunch of approaches. Another Rockstar and I pull 2 girls back to the table. I spend a bunch of time with mine, but I soon find she is a tease. She moves from me, to another Rockstar to a 3rd guy at our table. Nothing went wrong with any of the interactions, she just wanted more attention and validation. I wasnít jealous at all, and infact I didnít change my behaviour at all. She continued to flaunt in front of the Rockstars she had left. I continued to enjoy the night as if I didnít know this girl at all. The old me would have either got annoyed and asked the other rockstars to pass her back, or I would have got with another girl in front of her. This girl had her own agenda and wanted to be the centre of attention. Towards the end of the night I mentioned to the other guys that this girl needed to be pulled asap or kicked from the table. She had fallen off the ledge onto our table and almost knocked bottles over. Also she got her foot stomped on because someone pushed me. Maybe a little karma was involved. I did hear the next day that her engaged friend and her both got pulled by our guys. A great result for the boys in the end, as a blatant tease with no one pulling would have been shit.
    Another highlight of the night was drinking some of the worlds most expensive campaign. On of my new aussie mates organised a massive magnum of super expensive campaign. They bring the bottle to the table and hold letter placards that spell significance. Normally in the club they only do short names or nicknames as each letter is held by a different person. Iím guessing they needed to rally nearly every drinks waitress to hold cards for our ceremony. I think the cost was around $4 or $5k just for that bottle. Amazing the awesome and generous people that I get a chance to spend summer with.

  98. #98
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    Blog 9
    Day 28 - Day 31 August 22 - August 25, 2017

    These few days have been a roller coaster ride. we are definitely moving at a hundred miles per hour at this point and there’s no sign of slowing down. last night, Monday, was our marquee bungalow night and i was exactly where i feared to be at. low energy and just in zombie mode. i barely talked to girls, the conversations were short, boring and banter less and nothing really seemed to be working.


    Day 29 August 23, 2017

    Today was our night off but most of us still went to the XS night swim. it was good for me to go but the same low energy issues was hampering my progress and later i regret it being like this as it’s not letting me progress and i need to get a handle on this as soon as possible, especially before tonight’s big omen night. but that didn’t happen and i was not at all as a place in my head like where i was the time time i was there. i tried to make the best of the situation but definitely not where i’d have liked to be.

    blog 10
    Day 30 August 24, 2017

    today was the final vegas individual debrief where we all got a low down of where were are. and as expected, due to the performances the last few days, i was put in the struggling group and we need to push hard to get to a better spot to tackle the might Swedish night life. i was told that in a way i’m looking for greens rather than working on the yellows. i need to stick into the yellow sets and plough through them. this is the only way i’ll grow and i should stop having 3-5 min conversations. these are not good for my progress and i’m not getting anywhere but being exhausted about doing this same thing 20 times that night. i need to find the fire and just go be an approach machine and rack in the reference experience over the immersion break to Mykonos and Budapest and that should get me to a good spot to start off with in Sweden. they mentioned my masculinity really shined through at the wet republic when i had the girl from the previous night and how i did things properly. we text everyday even till today. i am taking this lesson in a analyzing what i need to do next.
    I still pushed to go out after the debrief and i was at the same position as at marquee, XS and omnia. so many negative thoughts in my head at the time. i was just giving up on this and convincing myself i’m not worthy and i’ll never be able to do all this successfully and consistently. i was hard pressed against time to condition my head to a good safe mode where i can be normal and start seeing progress again.

    Day 31 August 25, 2017

    I’m in the plane on the way to Frankfurt as i’m writing today’s blog post. it feels so unreal that i am actually going on this amazing journey with an amazing group of guys who from now on will be my closest friends in my life. someone pinch me, it all feels like a dream.
    Last night was a huge party. the same setup, our usual table at the hakkasan but the energy levels of the group going in was just amazing. we actually partied and have a blast. just so much love for each other. all this finally helped me snap out of my bad head space. i was feeling free and loved all day and i couldn’t wait for our last party in vegas as a rockstar. i’ll remember this night.
    i was doing great tonight, i was able to convert a yellow early on in the night but for logistics we could not bounce from the club. talked to a lot of girls, brought many to the table and worked on my banter and partied with the boys. i love them all. about 2am, we were really on fully party mode when one of the hotter girls at the table as getting chatted up by one of the guys. unfortunately it was going nowhere are she was not at all having it. reason being, one of the best guys in our group got her sexually charged up and let her be he moved on to green pastures. good thing for us mere mortals. i was pass on the opportunity to talk to her but when i did it started off rough as she was approached by a lot of the guys in the group by that point. something in my head told me to take a different route and go deep with her and it worked just perfectly. soon she was smiling and dancing, i was able to more her around the club and she was overall more receptive. i was so intimidated by her looks that i was afraid to escalate and hence we only made out. now as i am tracing my steps back, i’m seeing the parts where i could have capitalized in the situation rather than thinking i’m not good enough, she doesn’t see me like this, etc, and just picked up on hints earlier on. good thing is that i’m learning from all these experiences and growing. tomorrow, in a similar situation i will do much better and that’s a guarantee.

  99. #99
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    Vegas Reflection

    I having a hard time finding the words to write this reflection. so many thoughts running wild in my head, i wish i could just record my raw emotions and have that posted for you all. i was just going through the pics from my photos app in my phone. it was just yesterday when we landed in vegas and meeting at the house for the first time, but it feels as if it was months ago. this program does run at the speed of light and wow i’m amazed that i’ve made it thus far.

    Just going through the previous debriefs and seeing the lighting speed progress is amazing. sometimes i wouldn’t realize all this and that’s why i started journaling everyday so that one the days i’m not a 100%, i can just go back to a week and see the remarkable progress i’ve made. best part is that i have a new wolf pack. one that everyone else would envy and i feel so lucky to be a part of it. couldn’t have asked for anything better and definitely beyond my expectations.

    Week 1 and 2 were the settling down time and me getting the hang of this process. At the same time we were going through a lot psychologically during the day with heavy inner game seminars. they have played an integral part in our development as well as making the group bond so strong. we started off as lone wolfs but as we all sped up, the faster wolfs made sure the pack stays together and we are all one unit and being together is one of the corner stones that’s holding this pack together.

    Alums and instructors say we are on the way to be the best class of rockstar ever and its just the half way point. i’m excited for the amazing things that lay ahead. this summer as has already crossed the point where i can confidently state that it has already at the point where it’s been the best summer ever for me and also everyone else would say the same. i so love and appreciate the selfless love and support we have been able to create amongst ourselves in such a short time. its amazing how i’m close with every single one of them. how i have special memories already with each one of them. and that too in such a short time. i feel like i have known these guys for a long time; like we all grew up together.

    lets dive in to the women aspect and my big and small successes. up until now i feel that i have not done enough. but now that i am writing down about the highlights, there’s been phenomenal progress. already i’ve been able to do things i’d have never thought about doing or even have the balls to even explore into.

    Starting with the first pull which had the premise of a threesome from the very start of my interaction. it was mind blowing to see how everything is in my head and when i’m in the right state, the right things always happen. This was on the end with her, the next day we had a big group sex with her where many of the alums and instructors had sex with her at the same time. as taught in the inner game seminars, its her good fortune to cross paths with me and the marvelous gift that i’ve provided her. its something she’ll cherish for the rest of her life.
    the next 2 girls are both white, and both taller than me when the wear heels. i always had this limiting belief that i’m not good looking, not tall enough and just not meant to be able to attract the white race. i’ve always wished and wanted to have such women in my life but it just wasn’t going to happen. Rockstar demolished those beliefs. I did exactly aha i thought was impossible. The first girl i met at XS. we had an amazing time together and because of my inner beliefs and issues, i was not able to pull her out of the club to have sex. we still talk almost everyday and i know it’ll happen the moment we see each other the next time.

    The next one is a nurse with a body of a model. so tight. and again because of the voice that kept telling me all throughout that night at Hakkasan “don’t fuck it up! she’s too hot to hookup with you”, i was afraid to pull her out. There are a point when an instructor came up and told me to fucking leave and that i should i done that more than an hour ago. But by that time things had fizzled, even though she was back at the mansion, we did not have sex. She did come to see me the next day at the wet republic pool party. and it was an amazing day. i had great energy levels, i had a ton fun with everyone and at the same time i was that masculine guy, the boyfriend who was there for her and all she had to do was to be the feminine that she is and let me look at the rest. at a point, she told that if i wanted to hook up with other girls its fine as long as it not in front of her. also “we should not leave yet. i want to go to the pool and spend sometime there with you. we will have sex tonight, so don’t rush, lets enjoy our time.” wow how did i get here? am i ever going to wake up and it’ll all be a dream? (we talk everyday now and i am particularly keeping in touch with her is because she is a great person too. i’ve interacted with many girls in vegas these past few weeks and i can tell she’s cut from a different cloth. i don’t know where my journey leads me, but she’ll be there as a friend at the least.

    This last highlight of my vegas trip came from the last night out. the final party at hakkasan. i had seen her at the table and admired her from the very start. unfortunately she was brought to the table by one of the other guys. it was much later in the night when quite a few of the guys have hit walls with her that “my turn” came and i just moved next to her while waiting for Deorro to start his set. we started with normal conversation and eventually i just went into a deep conversation, thinking that the others must have gone the other route and i need to do something different to stand out. it worked! those massive walls started to disappear for what felt like a brick at a time. the negative mantra was back in my head: “she’s too hot for you, don’t fuck it up, don’t be too bold otherwise you’ll lose her.” so pussy me went on a much slower pace of progression. i just made sure to be cool and composed on the outside while inside my head there was world war 3 happening. i definitely made her feel comfortable. we walked a bit around the club and eventually walked out, she was feeling cold to i gave her my jacket. we had some food at the MGM with some of the guys and the girls they were with before making out way to the Uber. at first she was not letting me in to go with her but i overcame that. it was in the Uber where i saw her melt into me and my masculine presence. i vividly remember just telling her how a part of me wants her to come to Mykonos as i just wasn’t going to let her go like this. After some silence she just blurs out: “you were the highlight of my night. if it weren't for you, i would have left hours ago. and don’t tempt me, otherwise i will come with you…. 5 mins later… think about it, let me know by 1pm and if you text me tomorrow, i will be there at the airport to board that plane with you.”
    i’ve never head anyone utter something even remotely close to this to me. and she was the hottest girl i had interacted with this whole trip. but because of my limiting beliefs i was not masculine enough to get laid, even though it was there for me for the taking, she was mine, just waiting for me. i realized this when i dropped her off and while waiting for my Uber, i just grabbed her cheeks. i was just going to give her a warm kiss on her cheeks but to my surprise she just closed her eyes and gave her lips for us to have a passionate romantic kiss. i knew at the moment where i fucked up and it was in massive proportions. still a pat on the back for doing what i did. next time it will be so much different and the next her will be in for a memorable journey. she did ask me to keep in touch and that we should see where this takes us. So i will be doing that. maybe learn more from her and fly her out the next time to give her a glimpse of what i could be when she gives in and comes into my awesome life.

  100. #100
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    Roadtrip Diary #2

    Holy crap, all these Rockstars are completely nuts! I was hoping to chill by the pool, talk bullshit and get some much-needed rest, but these mofos just upped the speed deep into the red… we’ve gone from 5 parties a week in Vegas to 5 parties every 2 days… completely insane…

    Having a rough ride these last days – that dip they told us about has hit me in full swing – I have been worrying about not belonging to the group, about not being good enough at game, about missing too many opportunities, about not approaching enough, about not knowing what to say, about blowing my budget, about annoying the boys or fucking up their interactions… pretty much about everything under the sun. You know that image of the guy in the middle of a bunch of rapids, clinging on to a log for dear life with no shore in sight while someone screams at them to let go of the log? That’s pretty much how I feel right now… my old strategies and beliefs are hurting me to the core, but I don’t seem to have the faintest idea what’s on the other side, and letting go feels like certain death… well, as one of the coaches put it: The mere fact that it’s hard proves that it’s worthwhile.

    It’s awesome to see just how much love and growth there is in this group. We still screw things up more often than we want to, but we’ve become just so amazingly good at catching ourselves at it, sharing and caring and getting back to coming from a place of love, joy and brotherhood. It’s uplifting to see that all these great guys truly care for me – even in times when I’m unable to see it – and want me to be part of the group and succeed from the bottom of their heart. The greatest wisdom I was imparted today was: “The greatest gift you can give to anyone is your own happiness.” I’ll make that my life’s motto from now on.

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