Inner game/self-confidence and 2 situations

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  1. Inner game/self-confidence and 2 situations

    I suffer social anxiety but have come a long way. In my 40s, former physique model nd still in great shape, getting lots of online dates. But can't maintain attraction. Any insights on two situations:

    1. Had a fwb for 7 months. She's a 9 and we did a lot of "date" things, then sex, but spent countless hours in bed kissing, hugging and talking. She said "we fit" "it's hard to connect like we do" yet I never trusted her words as she is a female player. Last week, we were together on the tail end of her period, and she noticed a speck of blood on my item. I moved away from her kiss and said that is gross, go wash up. Drove her home, and she got angry that my car had an empty food container on it, yelling "that's disgusting." We coldly kiss and she leaves. I text her 10 days later (longest we were out of contact), no reply. Called three days after that with no message to see if she blocked me (rings several times indicates no).

    --Is there any way to salvage this? Or does it indicate that my inner mental world is a mess?

    2. During this time frame, a 7 contacted me on an online dating site. Said she was done with the site and then saw me and we had to meet. Went on great first date, crazy passionate kissing. Txt her the next day to hang, she says "I'm busy this week, maybe next." I replied "no problem, let me know when you are free and we will do something"

    --Is she blowing me off?

    Any insights or thoughts would help me. Working very hard on my inner mental state, especially in light of my behavior in #1 above.



  2. #2

    1. Did you apologize? If you were using protection, the blood shouldn't matter. Should have reframed it into "let's shower together".

    2. Sometimes you should line the second date while on the first, or at least through getting to know her via phone and text, get an idea of how much free time she has. Dating is work esp when you're keeping up appearances, and she might just want to chill out.

  3. Thx sdnight...

    1. Yes, I apologized when I dropped her off. She sat and stared at me for about a minute and, given my inner insecurity, I told her to just go and stop sitting there. I was going to wait a month and then try to contact her. She is a HOT player with non-stop guys hitting on her and it is unlikely that she will contact me. She has said things in the past like I could be with so many guys who kiss my ass but I am here with you who treats me like shit and that she can't get why we "connect" so much. She may just be f'ing with my head. I need to figure out a way to get her back in the mix--best I ever had.

    2. Girl txt a specific day 2 weeks from now and said she would definitely follow up. I'll wait, no big deal.

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    1 - Lol, you're seriously wondering how you fucked it up with the first one? Hint, when you told her she's disgusting, that's when you lost it. No, you won't be able to salvage that.

    2 - stop thinking a girl who is busy is blowing you off. How weak is your inner game right now? Women have lives too.
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
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  5. Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    1 - Lol, you're seriously wondering how you fucked it up with the first one? Hint, when you told her she's disgusting, that's when you lost it. No, you won't be able to salvage that.

    2 - stop thinking a girl who is busy is blowing you off. How weak is your inner game right now? Women have lives too.
    Thx Vox. My inner game is confused. I know I am a good looking, financially stable, guy who can talk and joke, but can have flashes of doubt/near panic out of nowhere. I was mildly sexually abused by female baby sister as kid. I have been in therapy, prescribed xanax and practice daily meditation. I never get crazy but revert to passive aggressive insults. The woman in case 1 knows of some of my "issues" and she share some of her own.

    Thx for the feedback and reminds me how much inner work I need to do.

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