Current situation VS ambitions

12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1

    Current situation VS ambitions

    I am 31 years old. And through a few inspirational people, and due to a recent break up which hurt me a lot, I have finally started to make something of myself for real. I'll move out from my mothers place in a week or two (yup, stayed here all my life), I work out regularly, I lost the 10 kilos I needed, I got a job to fulfill some of my wishes (such as getting a driver license - yup, have not done that yet), I got rid of my drinking problem, I only smoke 1-2 cigs a day (before that 15) AND I am finally finishing my studies - in 3 years time, I'll have a bachelor in social work (which here in Denmark counts much more than in the states)... that will open the door of me studying philosophy, middle east history, social law, psychotheraphy etc as a master degree.

    I do have a question or two. Do you think women care more about a man who have it "all" right now, or a man who strives to pursue? So: a man my age "should" have an f.ex. education right now, but I don't. You think that is a huge disadvantage for me when it comes to the opposite sex?

    And a second question. I always wanted a motorcycle license and I plan to get it next year after I got my driver license for a car. Does it seem desperate for a man who is 31 to fulfill a boyhood dream of f.ex. driving a MC?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender:
    Location
    London
    Posts
    694

    Firstly, I'd ask why you're asking. Because it sounds like you might then make the decision to hold off talking to any women until you've got the life situation you think they want in a man. At which point you'll enter the dating game with those external things but still have a whole bunch of learning to do in interacting and it won't be the special recipe you thought it was for getting women.

    It doesn't really matter whether you have it or not so long as you've got ambition and are working towards something.

    Lastly, do you really care what other people think of your dream? Are you really going to not chase that because of what you think others might think of it?

    There are some serious mental flaws you've got going on there. Stop letting the unknown thoughts of others lead your life.
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
    -------------------------------------------------

    NEW WEBSITE LAUNCH 2016 - www.datingcoachvox.com

    FOLLOW ME: Twitter / Facebook

  3. #3

    Thanks for answering, Vox. It made me think and get somethings straight.

    I do have a follow up question I hope you or others can help me with though..

    You said:

    Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    It doesn't really matter whether you have it or not so long as you've got ambition and are working towards something.
    Ok, I agree. However, I watched a video online on YouTube from a famous psychologist and looked articles up on google. It made me actually doubt myself the lot.

    It said that for men, a good looking female is the most important. Whereas for women, a man with high socio-economical status is the most important.

    Why does that bother me? Simple. As I said, I'm 31 years old and just started to finish my education. It will be another 3 years before I'll have an income above the median income line.

    Do I have the wrong focus here? Is a high paid job that sounds good really THE "thing" to get women, or are there other things (maybe combined) which surpass it?

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptDyan View Post
    Thanks for answering, Vox. It made me think and get somethings straight.

    I do have a follow up question I hope you or others can help me with though..

    You said:

    Ok, I agree. However, I watched a video online on YouTube from a famous psychologist and looked articles up on google. It made me actually doubt myself the lot.

    It said that for men, a good looking female is the most important. Whereas for women, a man with high socio-economical status is the most important.

    Why does that bother me? Simple. As I said, I'm 31 years old and just started to finish my education. It will be another 3 years before I'll have an income above the median income line.

    Do I have the wrong focus here? Is a high paid job that sounds good really THE "thing" to get women, or are there other things (maybe combined) which surpass it?

    In the end, having a well-paid job (not necessarily high-paid) is a crucial factor in dating women especially as you mature past the late 20s. Women expect men in their 30s to be settled into a career and have the social and material goods to show for it. No, it does not always happen as soon as that (I started my career at 30). But women, especially as they approach middle age, have an increasingly undeniable biological drive to reproduce, and to find someone who can support the children that they have or may have.

    While it is possible to bed women without having high income or social status, your game will have to proportionally tight. But in the end, financial security is more important than game. If you can bed women because of your tight game but can't keep them around because you're broke, then what's the point? If you want a solid serious relationship with the possibility of marriage and/or children, having a secure job which can support you and your woman is of the utmost priority.

    This isn't to say that there are plenty of women with men who make less than the median income. I know some myself.

    But try to think in the long view: you don't *merely* want to bed a woman, do you? You want to find a great woman and keep her around. To do that, you'll probably have to have a secure financial situation (unless the woman is a career woman with a high salary, which can be an indicator of poor future compatibility).

    If I were you, I would focus on getting that high-paid job, so once you find the woman of your dreams, you can keep her around. Game, while crucial, should be secondary to that. A man who lives SOLELY for game will end up broke and alone.

    As far as the motorcycle goes, no, it doesn't sound desperate to begin riding at 31, 41, or 81. Plenty of men start things like riding, martial arts, or game in their 30s and 40s. The way you phrase this question reveals your insecurity. Insecurity comes from a lack self-acceptance and an attachment to one's ego. A lack of self-acceptance and an attachment to one's ego comes from a lack of perspective. Look at yourself and your life from a new perspective, and your ego will fall away, revealing your insecurity as a false construct in your mind: empty and irrational. So go buy a bike.

    Much love

    bern

  5. Quote Originally Posted by bern002 View Post
    In the end, having a well-paid job (not necessarily high-paid) is a crucial factor in dating women especially as you mature past the late 20s. Women expect men in their 30s to be settled into a career and have the social and material goods to show for it. No, it does not always happen as soon as that (I started my career at 30). But women, especially as they approach middle age, have an increasingly undeniable biological drive to reproduce, and to find someone who can support the children that they have or may have.

    While it is possible to bed women without having high income or social status, your game will have to proportionally tight. But in the end, financial security is more important than game. If you can bed women because of your tight game but can't keep them around because you're broke, then what's the point? If you want a solid serious relationship with the possibility of marriage and/or children, having a secure job which can support you and your woman is of the utmost priority.

    This isn't to say that there are plenty of women with men who make less than the median income. I know some myself.

    But try to think in the long view: you don't *merely* want to bed a woman, do you? You want to find a great woman and keep her around. To do that, you'll probably have to have a secure financial situation (unless the woman is a career woman with a high salary, which can be an indicator of poor future compatibility).

    If I were you, I would focus on getting that high-paid job, so once you find the woman of your dreams, you can keep her around. Game, while crucial, should be secondary to that. A man who lives SOLELY for game will end up broke and alone.
    I know a life/pickup coach (Blackdragon/Caleb Jones) that would disagree vehemently with this. He is a proponent of no marriage (he does have kids, however). And, I agree with him. Who wants a woman that is only with you for the money you provide?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender:
    Location
    London
    Posts
    694

    Dude it's personal preference. No one is right or wrong on the marriage issue. Though anyone who thinks a marriage is only a woman with you for your money is extremely narrow minded and projecting their own issues onto marriage. While there are certainly a shit ton of marriages out there like that, if you're picking the right women and screening well then you can avoid that and be in a happy and satisfying marriage if that is what you want. Conversely, if you don't want that, don't go near it!
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
    -------------------------------------------------

    NEW WEBSITE LAUNCH 2016 - www.datingcoachvox.com

    FOLLOW ME: Twitter / Facebook

  7. Women dont care about education.
    Even if you have a phd in nuclear science.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by JAB1208 View Post
    I know a life/pickup coach (Blackdragon/Caleb Jones) that would disagree vehemently with this. He is a proponent of no marriage (he does have kids, however). And, I agree with him. Who wants a woman that is only with you for the money you provide?
    Quote Originally Posted by Vox View Post
    Dude it's personal preference. No one is right or wrong on the marriage issue. Though anyone who thinks a marriage is only a woman with you for your money is extremely narrow minded and projecting their own issues onto marriage. While there are certainly a shit ton of marriages out there like that, if you're picking the right women and screening well then you can avoid that and be in a happy and satisfying marriage if that is what you want. Conversely, if you don't want that, don't go near it!
    I'm sure many people would disagree with me, and I'm happy to hear the opposition. I wouldn't say ALL women are just with men for their money, but for men with money, the vast majority of women who want to be with them are factoring in money as a major decision-making element—there's no denying that. Of course, it could be totally subconscious, but at the end of the day, women like shiny things.

    Maybe living in Asia for too long has colored my perception of women.

  9. #9

    Unless the women graduated from an Ivy League, in which case they will usually only MARRY another Ivy League.

  10. #10

    And sure, marriage isn't "about money" per se, but women marry men almost purely for their social status, and social status CAN be boughtówith money.

    J

Similar Threads

  1. current situation
    By alch3mist in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-07-2010, 08:08 PM
  2. My Current Situation
    By Chraze in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-17-2008, 12:56 PM
  3. My current situation
    By Chraze in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-17-2008, 03:28 AM
  4. Current situation
    By NrenNstimpy in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-06-2008, 08:12 PM
  5. what to do in this current situation...
    By eFlow in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-21-2006, 06:19 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions



Facebook  Twitter