The longest "want my ex back" story...ever!

Hi guys,
I know im gonna get flamed for this post, but i'd love your help regardless!

Cliff notes:

- Dated 7 years ago (met online + long distance)
- She was heavily into me, but i didn't commit, acted like a d*ck, took her for granted etc
- We drifted apart,but it was more like i made her break up with me (i.e. she had had enough of my crap), she met someone else, i panicked, wanted her back, acted very needy, really p*ssed her off
- I went NC
- She got married (i think to the guy she met after me)
- Made contact via FB few years later, but kinda lost it again with her as she kept asking if i was married too which wound me up, looked like a d*ck...again
- Got the feeling she was having marriage issues (looked like her old dating profile was online!)
- By pure fluke ended up on first date with her cousin just a few months ago.
- "Fairly" sure she's going through a divorce atm - her fb is just pics of her on her own, plus her cousin hinted at it
- I made contact just last week, exchanged a handful of friendly messages, but then she vanished again


Now my question is, what do i do now?? But also is this more complicated than that i think? because there is,and always was a strange dynamic here, although i was technically the dumper (because, to be honest i did let her go) i became the dumpee...x 10!

Oh and to make it clear, i definitley would like to get back together, and kinda always have if im honest...she's the one that got away perhaps. But I also know how important it is to be right mentally i.e. basically be over them first.

When i made contact with her last week, i was cool about it, and wasnt bothered about the fact she didnt reply to my last text (which was basically "what have you been up to?"), but now it's been a week and she hasn't replied i've felt more insecure/needy about it!

Whats going through my head is should i text again? And going back to my point, if anyone needs to make the effort here..is it me?? Or is it her?

Thanks in advance

DA