Issue: Loosing the girl mid-way through interaction

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  1. #1

    Issue: Loosing the girl mid-way through interaction

    I've noticed from my last few sets specifically that I'm losing the interaction mid way through. Not sure why?

    I consider myself intermediate, would be advanced if I could close more!!

    I'm great at approaching, no issues with this; I focus on a component in which the girl controls (hair, bodylanuge, fashion etc.) - which they love. I've had responses of "arn't you polite", or "that's so complimentary".

    The approach generally goes like this:

    Approach
    where she's going/doing
    (I talk about what I was doing/going to do)
    Career/job
    (some story)

    Girl decides to leave - I throw a hail marry and go for number - get BF rejection.


    I think it might be a vibing issue?? But I notice mid-way through the interaction the girl body rocks to leave.

    A lack of connection in my approaches.

    Any thoughts??



  2. #2

    Last girl I approached said:

    Her: I have a bf (walks away)
    Me: For how long?
    Her: Long enough

    #burn haha

  3. #3
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    Trying to jump to "gimme your number" when the girls interest level is stuck at "no thanks" generally won't work. It's awesome you have the confidence to do that though. All you need is to channel it!

    Clearly, you need to improve whatever is blocking you at mid-interaction. Probably you need someone with social awareness to watch your interactions (or give very accurate reports) to discover what specifically is missing.

    FWIW: i think opening with compliment automatically puts you in a negative spot. Women get that all day long from AFCs. I am careful to keep discussions neutral with people until they've 'earned' a compliment. Depending how indirect ("how do you pick your laundry detergent?") to direct ("i noticed you standing alone so I came over to say hi") the approach, it's always to convey a sense of 'we're equals until proven otherwise'.

  4. #4
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    I disagree with not complimenting because "AFCs are doing it" (definitely not, dudes lack the balls) and waiting until they earn it. If you're not complimenting early on, what is the reason for you talking to her? You haven't conveyed interest at all, aside from the attempt at small talk with a stranger.

    Though it seems like you are going direct. My guess is the small talk dwindles. I would have planted some hint at hanging out around the time you're asking what she's up to and stating what you're up to. For example, if she says she's out buying a goldfish (whatever); you state you're meeting up with friends for lunch. Blah blah some fluff. Then you say you want to maybe grab a coffee sometime this week, ask when will she be free. Who cares when really.. logistics can be adjusted. Get the number and say you'll text her later about it.

    I can get in and out of daytime sets within a minute or two. However, if you can stay longer, why not? If she is able to, invite her for coffee right then. I think LS still teaches insta-dates right?

    To me, if she's throwing a BF rejection that late: she's either lying because the number close seemed needy, or she didn't think you were actually hitting on her until you randomly ask for a number and her defense kicks in. Maybe both. That's why I go direct. There's little room for interpretation if you're interested in her or not. Just my thoughts.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honey Badger View Post
    I disagree with not complimenting because "AFCs are doing it" (definitely not, dudes lack the balls) and waiting until they earn it. If you're not complimenting early on, what is the reason for you talking to her? You haven't conveyed interest at all, aside from the attempt at small talk with a stranger.
    That's not what I said. I said women get complimented [on their looks] all day long. If you're the 101st guy telling her the same thing, it doesn't build attraction.

    Look at the OP's post:

    I've had responses of "arn't you polite", or "that's so complimentary".
    Do you think women say that to guys they're attracted to?? Nope.

    When it comes to women we have to put aside our supposed logic (e.g., 'we need a reason to talk to her') and simply look at the results to determine... it is not working.

  6. Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    FWIW: i think opening with compliment automatically puts you in a negative spot.
    So, since you said that on this thread but on my thread which was specifically about finding other ways to open a woman without compliments, you effectively just said 'don't be creepy' and 'don't be chauvinist', perhaps here you would like to elaborate on other non-generic ways to open a woman.

  7. #7
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    i always use a situational opener:

    "Have you been here before?"
    "What kind of __ do you like?"
    "Are you going to ___?"
    "Are they making you wait?"

  8. Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    i always use a situational opener:

    "Have you been here before?"
    "What kind of __ do you like?"
    "Are you going to ___?"
    "Are they making you wait?"
    Thing about situationals is they're 50/50, you can have good situationals that say something interesting or unique compared to a lot of other ones that are just mundane. Out of that list I only liked the last one because it says something funny. I was sitting opposite a girl one time and it was kind of awkward the way we had to face each other eating our lunch but through this wooden fence thing so we could see each other's faces partially, and I laughed and said "this is kind of awkward isn't it" and she laughed and agreed also. But for the most part, you don't get quality situationals like that. I've heard a lot of women hate on the 'Have you been here before?' line because it's obvious you're trying to hit on them.

  9. #9
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    Well you do you.

    I don't need openers to be particularly interesting or unique. I need openers to open. The rest of myself is interesting and unique enough. (Even if I'm not: the fanciest opener in the world won't fix that)

    It's also AWESOME when a woman knows I'm hitting on her. Trying to hide that is one of the stupidest things guys do. Like my last girl said: "guys who deliberately put themselves in the friend zone are never getting out."

    ...
    Anyways this thread is about "losing the girl midway" so perhaps you can tell Spanky69 how you converted the awkward fence girl into a date?

  10. Quote Originally Posted by gq1 View Post
    Even if I'm not: the fanciest opener in the world won't fix that
    Or how about if you were unique and interesting and what you said was unique and interesting also?

    It's also AWESOME when a woman knows I'm hitting on her. Trying to hide that is one of the stupidest things guys do.
    You're getting the wrong idea, here. I'm not trying to hide my intentions. Just find a way to respectably communicate them and through words that are interesting and unique. Not hide behind this idea that I don't need to think about what comes out my mouth, I am just somehow magically good enough even though that woman knows nothing about me whatsoever prior to me going over to talk to her.

    Like my last girl said: "guys who deliberately put themselves in the friend zone are never getting out."
    I don't even see how we got onto this. Nobody's talking about deliberately putting themselves in the friendzone, just because they think about their words a little. It's still possible to carry a sexual vibe (eye contact, touch, flirting, etc.) and say cool stuff.

    Anyways this thread is about "losing the girl midway"
    What you say at the beginning contributes to the rest of the interaction. Anyway I'm not here to give out advice, just pointing out the difference in attitude between what you said in the two threads.

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