Dating single mother! Stay or leave

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  1. Dating single mother! Stay or leave

    Dating a single Mom! Im too young for this
    I have been dating a single mom of one for almost a year now she is 21 years old and Im 25. The first 3 months of the dating I had no idea she had a child but I did have some sort of idea because she kept on asking me awkward questions, I didn't know what she was trying to get at anyways she told me. Firstly, i really wish she told me straight up but I tried to understand from her side that it really is a big turn off for guys. through the year everything has been going well between us until I question her about her "baby daddy" she told me when we go out on the weekend that she takes the child to her "baby daddy's" family to keep up his side of reposiblitie. I was fine with that actually it was great, till I hear while she was on the phone with him concerning their child asking her what she is doing and who she is with? Maybe I'm paranoid but why does it concern him to ask such question if they are not together anymore. in addition to this, she lends money to her baby daddy to buy her son birthday present.What the hell is that all about! I have confronted her about her interactions with her ex and she says that he cheated on her during her 4 years relationship with him and she doesn't want anythng to do with him. He is only take care of his part of the responsibility. I agree to a certain degree but his crossing the line with questions.

    i avoid any contact with her child for 7 months I just didn't want the child to get attached, I have seen the child twice now he is a cutie but I know deep down that if I want anything long term with her I have to consider her child and that her baby daddy will be involved throughout our relashionship. its been a year now my heart wants to be with her but logically I keep having conflicting thought and I feel like I'm burning inside I really love her and we have great memories together but because of my conflicting though to stay and accept or go find a woman with less "junk" hurts me. She is my first girlfriend/best-friend I'm always on the phone with her, she tells me everything. so Im just trying to think logically and weigh out the pros and cons, Im not sure what to do? I feel kind of trapped In one had I'm getting interviews to progress in my career and in other am with a woman where progression revolves around her son. I need the balls to tell her straight at the beginning but she didn't give that chance and i was blinded due to her being my first amazing relationship.



  2. I might be viewed negatively for saying this but I am going to be honest. I would not date a women who had a child by another man unless it was any of the following reasons...

    - i also had a child myself from a previous relationship (so we both had the same situation)
    - i did not have many options on the dating scene and she was all i could get
    - I was over 40 and she was also a similar age

    I tried dating a single mother twice, and in the longer term i just kept on feeling like that she was only dating me because I was so different to the father of her child. They were bad boys and all they had done was to get them pregnant, chew them up and spit them out - I was the nice guy rebound - and they were not deep down really attracted to me, I was perceived as stable and good for raising her child.

    Your 25 man, you have your whole life ahead of you and in my opinion you do not want to be raising someone elses child, let alone dealing with babby daddy drama FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! - this is a massive financial commitment as well and its not fair on you.

    You have to ask yourself, do i really want to be looking after someone elses child. Is this what I aspired to in life. For me it was a no.

  3. [/QUOTE] You have to ask yourself, do i really want to be looking after someone else's child. Is this what I aspired to in life. For me, it was a no.[/QUOTE]

    Well after battling my heart that's saying to stay and my mind to let her go I came to a conclusion to Leave. otherwise, I will end up getting frustrated with her again about unrelated issues beacuse I haven't dealt with this Problem of acceptance. I felt really harsh explaining everything I was thinking about to her. That she has a child with another man and her have to deal with her ex to share responsibilities are very difficult for me to accept all of this, that another man has to be involved forever. She explained her son is not my problem and she is responsible for him financally, I know if the relationship carries on and becomes serious that eventually, I have to become a father figure and a provider. So anyway, I told her I wanted to break up she didn't take it lightly and suggested to have a "break" for a couple of weeks, I agreed but I know its away of slowly breaking up. I feel at ease now my mind isn't racing to find a solution to make it work or sucking it all up to accept something that will bother me later on in the relationship if carried on hence for, would waste both our times. thanks for the advice I know Logically this is the right decision.

  4. no prob

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