Plan for a second date

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  1. #1

    Plan for a second date

    Hi.

    I've met a girl in a club, got her number, invited her somewhere, drunk something with her, talked to her. During this meeting we talked to each other, I didn't physically escalate her because she was sitting in front of me and I didn't know how to approach this physical escalation. There was too less sexual energy, too less emotions, we talked only about normal stuff (except one sexual compliment that I gave her that she liked). I feel that I did it wrong but she is still interested in me and she wants to meet for the second time.

    I'm not very experienced and in the past I've met girls mainly from Tinder and most of the time after meeting them for the first time there were no connection between me and the girl because they were always less attractive in real life so I wasn't physically attracted to them. So there were no second date because there were no connection. Now it's my first time when I am attracted to the girl I've met and this will be my first 'second meeting' with the girl.

    Now the problem is that I don't have any good idea what to do with her on the second meeting that will be different from what we did for the first time.

    So for the first meeting I invited her to some, let's say, pub and we talked to each other. Now for the second time, I can't do the same because this will be boring. So what can I do? Where can I invite her?



  2. #2

    Restaurants, pubs and similar venues are bad locations for first dates. Why? Because the environment does not allow you two to actually interact. A table between you two is like a barrier between you two. She wants to be liked for what she is as a whole, not only for her looks. Compliments are rewards you are giving her. She must feel that she earned those rewards, otherwise they are useless. Compliment her on her personality after you see some traits of her personality that you like about her. Good places for first time dates are those where you two can interact with each-other, ideally do an activity that both of you would potentially enjoy and reveal parts of her and your personality. Like for example a walk in the park, go window shopping in a mall, go play frisbee together or do some other activity that you enjoy and that is part of your world. Bring her into your world.
    Interacting means also doing kino. An interaction without kino almost always ends in "lets just be friends" - this is not what you want. Do kino.

  3. #3

    Yes, but I asked about second time dates, not the first time dates. But ok, this partially answers my question too.

    If anyone would be interested in the answer to that question, I also found this video which is the exact answer to my question:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV-kdQBeBEw

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender:
    Location
    London
    Posts
    611

    Pubs and bars are fantastic date locations. I pretty much exclusively use them. Totally disagree with the second poster on that comment. However, sitting face to face over a table is indeed not conducive to building much chemistry so avoid it if you can when learning and honing your dates.
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
    -------------------------------------------------

    NEW WEBSITE LAUNCH 2016 - www.datingcoachvox.com

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  5. No worries. There is no problem with doing the same/ something similar on the second, third,... meeting. Remember, she would not be meeting you again, if she didn't like it!
    Other than that you can: Go for a walk if the weather is nice, go for some drinks, cook something together, show her one of your hobbies or ask her to show you something she enjoys doing, play pool or foozball, impro-theatre... and much, much more
    There is no need to stress about it. She already likes you.
    Btw: table in-between can be great if played properly.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Gender:
    Age
    34
    Posts
    6

    Agreed with Vox on this one. Having a table in between you makes things harder to move things along physically. Why make things harder for yourself?
    You can still Escalate though if done properly as stated above by Simson. But still hard work. Also agreed if she's meeting you for a second time she likes you and she's waiting for you to take the lead.
    Salsa Dancing is a great opportunity to connect physically and its fun. I do prefer bars (but also in saying that I have sex with most of my dates on the first night anyways) Parks with picnic rug and wine is nice and intimate, Something fun.
    Making Statements of intent, "You really need to stop looking at me like that!" "Im not a piece of meat and don't think you can get into my pants that easy" Role reversals are great, Light and easy. She's hitting on you not the other way around. She needs to work to get into your pants.
    One thing that was really emphasised on the 10 day programs is when you're meeting a girl on a date for the First time, Second time Etc. you're always leading and treating her like you've been BF and GF for years. This will make her more comfortable with you and physical escalation will not be so awkward.

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