Second date - she has a boyfriend for several years?

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  1. Second date - she has a boyfriend for several years?

    Hey Guys,

    I had two situations that genuinely not totally sure what the heck happened.

    1st Situation:

    I met this girl, part time model and runs her own business on the side walking down the street. Had a pretty nice 10-15 minute conversation, grabbed her number made some plans. When I texted her nothing happened. O well.

    2 months later she texts me saying she is around the corner and meets me at my office. We grab juice since its the middle of the day. It lasts an hour (since its the middle of the day) and we meet up again 2 days later this time for drinks. She then tells me she has a boyfriend for 2 years and asks to just be friends.

    Genuinely confused as to what happened here. I met her hitting on her, I am always a pretty aggressive guy, so she knows I'm interested, but didn't mention this boyfriend until the end of our second date when I am about to kiss her.

    She also mentioned how she is having doubts about her relationship. I wonder if this is sort of a shit test, and she is looking for options in her relationship and to see if I'm cool with anything. Anyway totally looking for perspectives here, since I don't think I did a very good job.

    Second situation:
    Different girl: I met her at my friends art gallery. Very flirty when we meet, we both are, but I'm with my friend and she is with her friends and we don't really get a chance to interact. Turns out we have mutual friends, so I ask one of my mutual friends what is this girls deal. She tells me she has a boyfriend and don't worry about it.

    A week later we run into each other at a work party (investment fund stuff). She proceeds to be really flirty take my phone give me her number and make plans to come to a party I'm having the next day.

    Then 3 days later after we never actually met up, she casually drops she has a boyfriend on a text chat.

    I'm just curious as to what I'm missing here. Its not like either of these girls is that important, obviously plenty of fish in the sea and what not, but feel like I am missing something so wanted to ask if there are areas I can improve.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Los Angeles

    It could be a few things:

    Maybe they are...
    • ... window-shopping for replacements, and eventually decided you were not it.
    • ... looking for the thrill of being hit on, and stop it just the moment before they "cross the line"
    • ... really oblivious to your intentions and take a while to figure it out

    What to improve? Easy. Ask "Are you single?" BEFORE you get the phone #.

  3. Maybe they just like getting attention? Especially if you're an attractive or confident guy. It's no secret girls love attention, and if they're already taken then they can just be seen as having fun, while you're supposed to be respectful of the fact she has a boyfriend. Unfortunately it's a possibility.

  4. You're not pulling the trigger early enough.

    You're being direct and 'aggressive' from the start. which is getting their interest.

    But when push comes to shove, you're waiting an hour, at the end of your SECOND date, to think about kissing her.

    Mixed signals being sent.

    She's losing interest and letting you down gently.


    Daygame Australia .Com

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