Opinion and advice

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  1. Opinion and advice

    I am a 31 year old male withe limited experience, but was successful in the past 3 months to lose my virginity.
    I met a 28 year old girl who i am somewhat attracted to. I met her at the gym (she is very athletic) and I commented on her great athleticism and ended up taking her number. we live in a small city and she recently moved here. she is a busy career girl and i am also busy with my career.

    I invited her to dinner twice. the first time we had dinner then went for another drink in a pub. then i drove her home and we hugged.

    I asked her for another date a week after, and we went for dinner then went to my place to watch a movie.

    During the movie, i held her closer and she didnt mind and got closer to me. Then i tried to kiss her but she rejected it! she said "its complicated" as she does not want to get involved with anything before she knows she wants to get involved in a relationship (i am paraphrasing her words).

    I didnt get upset, we continued watching the movie and watched more shows after, during that time we also got physical (she showed me how she has a tight spot near her neck, and i massaged it for her) now the next thing that happened, was me giving her a very deep tissue message but also kissing her on the neck multiple times. also, when i tried to kiss her she would still turn her head playfully.

    She got more playful and told me she could throw me away if she wanted, i jokingly let her do that, and she ended up sitting on my lap (very sexy to be honest). I continued massaging her (neck, back, hips etc) and she was quite happy.

    I ended driving her home, and she gave me a very very short abbreviated kiss.

    I am very very puzzled with whats going on. She let me get physical, even touch her buttocks and her breasts, kiss her on the neck, but refused completely kissing.

    I texted her the day after and she replied later that evening. She is very abbreviated when she replies.

    i told her to come work on her projects in my place, and she said she might, but today she texted she wanted to stay home. She had said yesterday when we were together that she may come on Monday to hang out with me.
    She let me hold her hand and kiss her hand on the way to her home when i was driving her. When i told her i am into her, she said playfully (yes i can see that)

    I hope i did not look Beta to her. I admit, since i am inexperienced i dont know how to play hard to get.

    to be honest, many would consider her less attractive than me, but still i had a big desire to be intimate with her.

    Can anyone tell me what they think the best route to go from there? i feel i showed many many weaknesses, but honestly i was letting my balls direct what i do (which is so bad and i think being reprimanded by you guys is fair).



  2. Kissing can be a very intimate for a woman which may be why she was hesitate to kiss you. Although, this may sound strange some women will have no problems letting you touch them or even have sex without kissing being part of the equation as they don't see that as too intimate, which I think may be the case here. So don't get hung up on needing to kiss her before you move on to something else. Just see what she will allow you to do and go from there.

    It doesn't matter if you consider her less attractive than you are if you are investing more into her without her doing much to earn that attention. She will take it as her value is higher than yours. You need to get her to chase you as well if you want a chance to sleep with her. Don't let her body be the only thing you find attractive about her as she must earn your interest in her beyond just her body.

  3. Thanks for the reply. My interest is not purely physical. I agree with you.

    What should I do next? Wait until she texts me to get together and back off for now?

  4. She mentioned she may come over on Monday. Text her and asked if she was still thinking of coming over. If that doesn't work out you can try to make plans for another day & see what happens.

  5. Okay. So i still should follow up on the monday plan. I have a feeling she will drop out.

  6. I just got a reply that she is not interested in pursuing any dating at the present time and want to just give her focus on herself. wow. I didnt see that coming.
    I am kind of upset because i was hoping this could be longterm and not just have a fling.
    I guess i will always be a flying dutchman.

  7. I know what happened, i was texting daily and went physical way too quickly (on second date after dinner). i think i should have waited.
    I didnt want to "game" her i was genuinely interested.
    but maybe the game is the way to go for all women.

  8. I feel for you man. I had something similar happen to me a couple weeks ago (I'll probably write about it later). My advice would be to not get too hung up on her, and just move on to the next one. The sooner you start talking to a new girl, the sooner you'll forget about her.

  9. To be honest i was very open and she was "stingy" with her emotions
    Maybe its a good thing that this happene early

  10. Hi,

    Don't mean to sound blunt but when you confess to her you are really into her, that's a request for validation and it looks weak, you are also giving her power.

    From now on , I would not contact her for at least 3 days, unless she initiates contact with you. After 3 days , you could get in touch. Then you go on a date, you need to start the physicals from step 1 again.

    No kissing various body parts w/o mouth kissing. Start by holding hands but do so only at an opportune moment - when you're sitting down watching a movie, when you're crossing the road. Assume in this scenario SHE needs it, do not ask !

    Then take it from there. If the results are negative, I would move on.

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