What Happened Here?

Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1

    What Happened Here?

    Background: Known her about a month, been texting maybe once twice a day for the past week. She invited me to a party on Friday, she was really flustered and awkward once I got there. I felt kind of like I came on too strong and said somethings I should have probably held back about my feeling for her, tried to kiss her (she didn't pull away, but didn't exactly kiss me back. She just had a big smile on her face and didn't really do anything ) Saw her later that day, she seemed ok around me, not as flirty usual. She said she was tired. Someone mentioned to her she had a scowl on her face, and was acting odd. I felt like something was up, and ended up bailing.

    Saturday night I text her: (Paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact words)
    B: Hey, thanks for inviting me to M's party. You're a lot of fun to hangout with. And by the way, your feet don't smell as bad as you think haha (callback humor to an inside joke)
    Her: Hey no problem!
    Her: I just tried to eat that mac n cheese you got me and threw it up (She was really hungover from the night before)
    B: Aww, I'm sorry :/
    B (Later): I hope you feel better. Maybe we can get together when you're feeling 100%

    She texts me the next day late afternoon:
    Her: Hey sorry I feel asleep and had to work today!
    B: No problem. I was out early last night AND took a nap this afternoon too haha
    Her (about 4 hours later): WOW u sleep a lot
    B: Yeah I was a tired boy
    B (later): Sorry for the delay, I was up on this deck with an amazing view of the ocean. Did you have a good day?

    After that, no response. We didn't talk the next day either.

    Questions:
    A) Is it a big deal she just glossed over me trying to set up plans or didn't say she had fun with me too?
    B) Why would she tell me she puked? Haha. I feel like if I was in her shoes wouldn't say that to someone I'm attracted to or want them to see me as attractive...
    C) What's up with the no response? She's never done that with me before
    D) Where do I go from here? I'm going to see her on Thursday most likely. Do I text her between now and then or just wait until I see her? Do I apologize for possibly coming on too strong?

    I know this definitely sounds really insecure, but I've been in this situation before and fucked it up. So i don't want to repeat that mistake.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Gender:
    Age
    37
    Posts
    474

    Quote Originally Posted by barnknee View Post
    I felt kind of like I came on too strong and said somethings I should have probably held back about my feeling for her
    Everything after that is probably irrelevant

    What did you do and say?

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by Hurley View Post
    Everything after that is probably irrelevant

    What did you do and say?
    Like I said, I tried to kiss her. She didn't rebuff me, but it was definitely awkward. I made a joke about it immediately after asking if we could pretend I didn't do that. We we're laying on the couch together, and she asks me if I "hookup" with girls like this a lot. I joke that we definitely didn't hookup, and assure her that I'm not a player. (This is a question I've gotten from literally every girl I get close with for the past year or so. There must be some reason they keep asking me.) After that, I felt like to prove to her (wrong, I know), I got diarrhea of the mouth and feel like I said way too much. I told her how much I like her, how special I think she is, etc.

  4. That question posed consistently is usually the result of one of two things

    a) you are too good, “too smooth" (yes this is a thing) to the point where you almost transcend being human, because you never “falter". Which obviously denotes suspicion, as it should. Usually this stems from the lack of vulnerability or authenticity that comes with it. You end up “gaming" waaaaay more than necessary because you want to never miss a beat, you want to be flawless too badly. Typical of intermediates and/or narcissists.

    b) you are what i like to call “textbook miscalibrated and incongruent". This is where you know everything you're supposed to do in theory but due to a lack of practice you just do everything in regurgitating fashion like pressing buttons for a combo or cheat code and life is never that tidy so you come off miscalibrated ie the awkward kiss and your motives become questionable as you're not really acknowledging her as a person, only your button sequence. Typical of newbies

    Sent from my HUAWEI G7-L03 using Tapatalk

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by MrProdigy View Post
    That question posed consistently is usually the result of one of two things

    a) you are too good, “too smooth" (yes this is a thing) to the point where you almost transcend being human, because you never “falter". Which obviously denotes suspicion, as it should. Usually this stems from the lack of vulnerability or authenticity that comes with it. You end up “gaming" waaaaay more than necessary because you want to never miss a beat, you want to be flawless too badly. Typical of intermediates and/or narcissists.

    b) you are what i like to call “textbook miscalibrated and incongruent". This is where you know everything you're supposed to do in theory but due to a lack of practice you just do everything in regurgitating fashion like pressing buttons for a combo or cheat code and life is never that tidy so you come off miscalibrated ie the awkward kiss and your motives become questionable as you're not really acknowledging her as a person, only your button sequence. Typical of newbies

    Sent from my HUAWEI G7-L03 using Tapatalk
    So where do I go from here? I do really like this girl and she's gorgeous, which is why I feel like I'm trying so hard to game her. Is it salvageable?

    On a positive note, she texted me last night and we had a good, fun flirty back and forth.

  6. #6

    i know it's tough, but stop trying so hard. trying hard = self sabotage. Pretend to yourself that you have 5 better options and you're just gaming her for practice.

    What do you do? The exact same thing as if you didn't spill your one-itis guts all over the floor. Make a date, have fun, & escalate.

  7. ill give you your two general options since you haven't given us the conversation so we have no idea where you're at.

    1) NEXT - for yourself more than for her, the common response of nexting is to remove the neediness from the newbie. Yes it helps with the girl IF you ever see her again but that's not the thought behind it. It's for you. Imo who am i to say that you won't get the best years of your life with said person which is the point of all this in the first place.

    2) CHASE- no there is nothing you can text that's going to not show that you're chasing usually. The very act of initiating message is a chase in and of itself. What you can do is not make it too overt to keep the pressure off of her and prevent the interactions from being awkward. So i wouldn't be too hung up on her knowing (cause she knows). Usually this fails because guys attempt to approach this continuously as though they're in the position they were in before..... They're not. The power has shifted, you are most definitely not the prize. The very act of chasing forfeits this stance. However you must return there.

    First, establish neutrality. Then and only then, attempt to shift that prize frame to yourself.

    Understand she is far more likely to tell you no when you chase than before. So be light, be topical, be fun, but most of all be interesting and keep those convos brief. And always be aware of where you stand.

    Personally i usually give a week or so and just hit them up with an evening call ideally when i have something to do so im forced to keep it brief and have my very real exit excuse. The excuse also makes for great callback when i text them at a later date.

    Sent from my HUAWEI G7-L03 using Tapatalk

  8. #8

    What Happened Here

    Or we could give them to hollay and she could post them here? It seems easier than sending it out to everyone individually.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-23-2014, 02:50 AM
  2. What could have happened and can I fix this?
    By CreceLaFlor in forum The 18-21 Forum
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-01-2013, 09:05 PM
  3. What should I do? What happened?
    By Shopz in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-26-2012, 07:44 PM
  4. WTF happened here, and where do I go next?
    By Uexdrukl in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-10-2011, 01:57 AM
  5. What happened???
    By drffc in forum Newbie Discussion Forum
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-30-2009, 02:12 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions



Facebook  Twitter