Married - and dating other women - Page 2

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by sdnightfly View Post
    Get marriage counseling, discuss having an open relationship, just don't lie. There's plenty of unhappily married women who have no plans on leaving either, but you have to make sure they're flings and not affairs. Getting attached and infatuated to someone else while you're in a marriage will always end badly.

    So even though you're afraid someone wouldn't date you a second time, it's better off being a ONS if it did happen.
    I agree with the counseling. I wish my dad and mom would have done that 40 years ago. He was wanting sex my mom wouldn't provide, and he cheated on her with some she-devil that he married 19 years after they met (or about two years after my mom passed away due to cancer).

  2. #12

    I know where your coming from. I have no moral judgements about it, as I believe men are hardwired to be with more than one woman, whereas woman can be perfectly content and happy with one man. Our biologies are different. The best way to go about all this, is to be straight up in the beginning and be in a relationship that allows for what you want. It's a shame in our society men are told that a monogamous marriage is the only situation that is ok for us to be in dating wise. That being said, I have a feeling your going to do this anyways. So here's my advice...

    Just be straight with these women. Tell them your married. There's plenty of women that date married men. Women love men who are no available.. and many women are actually ok with not being the only girl, in reality, they just pretend to because our society has told them that's the way it's 'supposed' to be. Look at cultures with polygamous marriages, women are perfectly happy. In fact, men in polygamous marriages live 8 PERCENT LONGER than men in monogamous marriages. Yeah, I think we're hardwired for polygamy... which is what happened naturally in our species. Yes monogamy did happen, but polygamy happened very often as well. MUCH MORE often than it does now in our western CHRISTIAN society... and it's christianity that started this monogamy bullshit anyways.

    ALSO, It's going to be work keeping this from your wife, and quite frankly, I don't think it's worth the work, I'd rather just find a new situation, but I understand given your married/have a kid. So, becareful. Plus, I'm not married myself and young, but I do know that if you caught cheating, it will look worse for you during the divorce, and make the divorce much more messy. So, that's my 2 cents.

  3. If you would consider any woman, including married women and women the same age and older than you, you will find there are plenty of women out there who are also looking for NSA sex for very similar reasons that you are. These women will also often have the same reasons for wanting to keep it discreet that you do. A very successful online business, Ashley Madison, was built out of exactly this. (Just don't use your regular or work email address, lol!) But I doubt that this will satisfy your desires as a former PUA.

    If you are looking at young, hot women - the type of HBs that a PUA would be interested in - you're going to have a very very tough time finding one who is willing to do anything at all if she knows you are married. The huge majority of HBs will find a married man an instant turn-off. Or even if it is a sexual turn-on for them (the unavailability thing), they still won't actually do it because of their morality or their reputation. Remember, these women have many many options. And their internal picture of the fantasy guy they want to date is not some older married dude. They also think about karma, most young women plan to be married themselves one day and therefore they don't want to be a home-wrecker.

    Therefore, I suggest it's not really worth the effort to try this. The reason: if you are aiming to pick up HBs and have sex with them, my guess is you are doing it to feed your self-esteem and ego - you want to feel like when you were 25 and single. But you will actually lower your self-esteem and ego by the constant rejection if you try this, even from women who might have said 'yes!' if you were single.

    You can try lying to the HBs you plan to pick up, but again it's not really worth the effort. The truth will come out, and anyhow most women can "sense" if you are in a relationship with another woman or dating two women at the same time, it's one of the things women are most sensitive to, and men are not such good liars as they think. Any unexplained uncontactability will make women start asking questions in their mind. If you are not inviting them back to your place - if there is even hesitation about that or timing questions - they will be immediately suspicious.

    So I think you are basically asking for the impossible. OK, it's not totally impossible. Powerful attractive men sometimes get to have affairs with co-workers, for example - but they don't do that using PUA techniques, they do it by being the biggest suit in the place, which is attractive to younger women who are around them all day every day.

    Other posters have suggested talk to your wife about having an open marriage. I have a fair amount of life experience and I've never heard of a successful open marriage actually happening, unless maybe your wife wants exactly the same freedoms or she is a massive hippie. And unless you know your wife is thinking about it, it seems a very bad idea to even bring this up in conversation ...

    I see the realistic options as being:

    * divorce - the main driver for divorce is exactly this, it frees you to have other sexual relationships, and it's not the end of the world - financially it should be no worse for you than staying married and supporting your wife and child within a marriage, except that in future you will need two houses and two cars

    * try a period of separation from your wife, that should give you the freedom to have sex with other women, and you can see if it actually makes you happier without taking the ultimate step of divorce - and if you have your own place you have overcome the logisticial difficulty with picking up new HBs for sex

    * if it's legal in your country, the easiest option (and probably least expensive in the long run) is to use escorts - that's one of the main things they are there for, to have sex with married guys who want sex but don't want to leave their families. On a longer "date", you can ask the escort to act naturally, hard to get and then you can use your PUA techniques on her, if she is good she will play her part well and might actually enjoy the fun of it (it's not what most clients would do). An escort is safer in terms of your wife not finding out, as she won't be calling you. If you are smart about your clothes (perfume and sex smells can linger for a long time) and timing, it's pretty difficult for a wife ever to discover that you've been with an escort. And even if your wife finds out, she is going to be mega pissed but she is probably not going to actually divorce you for this, because it's just sex, there is no emotional investment and therefore it's not as much of a betrayal as you having a relationship with someone. (Escorts think the same way, most of them are good people who think the same way as other young hot girls mentioned above, I mean they would not want to be homewreckers.)

    * There are sugardaddy dating sites, where there are plenty of HBs who are willing to consider sex, or more, with a married guy, as long as there's financial compensation. The financial compensation does not make them escorts, and they don't think of themselves as escorts. Most are amateurs, probably trying sugardaddy dating for the first time to see what they find because they are tired of regular dating. Therefore you have to work just as hard to attract them as you would in regular PUA - the same techniques work. Basically you have to attract them and pay them. The reason for doing this is that a reasonable proportion - not most, but still a good number - don't have a problem with sleeping with married guys. And there are some astonishingly hot women who do this, and you will have a wide amount of choice if you are under 40 and attractive.

  4. Day game or night game? Your ring is preselection, don't hide it. You are not lying. She knows what she is getting into. Run a bunch of A2 and when you get IOIs hit really hard on A3 to make her chase you. Make sure you have a solid comfort location and time bridge.

    Dude. I don't judge. You have a kid. If you can run this stuff, run your wife. If it works for the targets in the club it will work for your wife. Trust me at 47 I know. Why put the effort into a target?

  5. ...
    Last edited by Wiser; 09-25-2016 at 11:58 PM. Reason: Double post

  6. Just be open to your wife & your family . You can discuss that to your wife maybe she can help you with your problem about SEX

    Don't ever exchange one hour of your pleasure to your many years of family building


  7. I am going to be far left.

    If you are going to step out of your marriage, always tell the other woman. Don't lie.

    Remember one thing about cheating, you have to be able to live with yourself. I am happily married for 16 years and just recently ended a two year affair. I have no regrets so if you can live a double life then don't lead the other person on.

    My two alternate cents

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