Not sure if I'm enjoying casual sex...
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  1. #1

    Not sure if I'm enjoying casual sex...

    Hey all,

    So I've been into this PUA thing last 2 months. I had sex with a women the other day, and I didn't particularly enjoy myself.

    I'm just wondering why this is, and how to be able to enjoy myself?


    Thanks!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender:
    Location
    London
    Posts
    694

    So you've had 1 casual sexual experience and come to the conclusion you don't like it? I think you're being dramatic if you ask me.

    Unless this is a common thing in which case then there's something to explore there.
    In that case, there's still not much anyone can do for you. We can't tell you something magical that will suddenly make you enjoy it. You like what you like.

    If you don't enjoy casual sex as much, maybe go for different things. Have you considered that?
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  3. #3

    Yea of course. I think you might be right. It might be that I have been sexually stagnant in the last 1.5 years. But I'm working to get my juices flowing again. I think it's happened once or twice before but I have had good sex before too. So who knows.

    Another aspect might be my insecurity of not lasting long enough or something. If I do get the urge to orgasm, sometimes I pull out and use my mouth (depending how well I know the girl for oral) or fingers. Sometimes I worry I'm too long or too short. It's a weird state of mind cause otherwise I'm fairly comfortable with it all.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Gamy View Post
    Another aspect might be my insecurity of not lasting long enough or something. If I do get the urge to orgasm, sometimes I pull out and use my mouth (depending how well I know the girl for oral) or fingers. Sometimes I worry I'm too long or too short.
    Wich is exactly the right thing to do, women nowadays expect quality sex, orgasming too soon on the first date that you have sex might mean you will not see her again, if that happens you should wait a while (if she stays the night over to your place for example) and do it good the 2nd time, that same night.

    Your focus should be to please her, atleast that's how I see it. I very rarely only tought about my own pleasure except in some cases where I really didn't gave a damn about the girl and was very selfish with no intention to see her again but that should not be your way of doing things.

    About the casual sex, could it just be that you're more of a romantic minded guy and associate love with sex? If so, there is nothing wrong with that either, I have had a huge amount of casual sex in my life, but nowadays I'm more in the mindset of finding a girl I really like and be happy with her and have great sex with that same girl. I cheated a lot on previous partners but I don't want that anymore, I've had so much experience with casual sex that after a while I got tired of it.

    Continue with dating women and having casual sex, after a while you will know what you really want in life and you will find an answer to your own question.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender:
    Location
    Netherlands
    Age
    39
    Posts
    252

    Sounds somewhat familiar.

    If I don't like a girl, if there's no (or not enough) chemistry, I won't have sex with her - or at least I won't enjoy it very much.

    There's nothing wrong with not enjoying casual sex, you know? There's no real value in it. It's just about having a good time with each other. But for me, if I like a girl enough to have quality sex with her, there's no point in doing it casually. Because I'll like her enough to want more than just sex with her.

    If you sell that story to a girl, that you're selective about your women, that you won't date or have sex with just anyone, you'll distance yourself from "the rest". You'll demontrate higher value than most men, because you have standards and aren't afraid to make them known - and judge her accordingly!
    Last edited by jamesblond; 08-29-2016 at 01:25 AM. Reason: Typo's

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