Why does this girl only give attention when Im a dick.

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  1. #1

    Why does this girl only give attention when Im a dick.

    This girl Ive been friends with for like 8 years and was FWB with just plays mind games with me I swear. I go over to her place today so she can give me a haircut and as usual shes a bit reserved when I get there. Shes been more reserved since she decided to end our FWB a couple months ago. After my haircut, she goes over to her mom and sister to make a comment about a message that this "really attractive guy" sent her. Im literally sitting like 5 feet from her when she says it. Her older sister then says in really stern voice, "he is not attractive", and I kinda smirk because her comment boosted my ego.

    Anyway, Im still pissed that she'd even make the comment with me right there, so I act like her and act way reserved, pretty much only speaking when spoken to. Almost immediately she starts acting differently. Shes trying to talk to me more and I could see through my peripherals that she kept looking at me while I was just playing with her dog and watching tv. I even took like a 10min nap. I also keep checking the time like "why is my ride taking so long to get here". When my ride does get to her house she stands and waits for me to get my coat and shoes, "We should get together again soon" she says. I thank her for the haircut and go on my way. She never suggest to hang out as Im ALWAYS the one who has to bug her to hang out. Now that I treat her kinda shitty and ignore her she wants to hang out again and is even more sociable when we hang out. WHAT. Why why why.



  2. #2
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    The poor girl is just concerned about her friend (you). If anyone is playing mindgames here, you are.

    She mentions a guy (normal for a girl to do) and you start acting reserved and stop speaking, unless spoken to. Or in other words, you act all butt-hurt. Why? Even if she was your girlfriend it would not make sense, I mean, could you be anymore needy and insecure? Would you get offended if a guy friend said "check out this beautiful girl"?

    She is not playing mindgames with you. That's all in your head because you want to be more than friends. In reality what is happening is that she gets concerned because you suddenly went all quiet and she wonders what is wrong, so she reaches out to you.

    Either start hitting on her and make her your girlfriend, or stop dreaming about her and BE her friend.

    Next time, try saying: "Is he hot? Let me see! Wow, he IS hot. I'd do him" or "Look at that 6-pack. You should go for it"

  3. #3

    She knows I get insecure, why would she mention something about a guy she thinks is "really attractive" when I AM SITTING RIGHT THERE obviously in earshot. She knows I still have feelings for her, and she had to know it would bother me, so why say it? I wouldnt do that to her. Yah, I admit I acted immature in this situation but IT BOTHERS ME I cant help it man. This girl is a 10/10 model beauty and the thought of her going with other guys is admittedly heartbreaking for me, because Ive liked her basically since day 1 of knowing her 8 years ago. Idk what to do.

  4. #4
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    You're 19. Firstly, you're not going to marry this girl and spend the rest of your life with her.

    Secondly, she's one hot girl out of many hot girls you're going to meet in your life. You may think all this right now, but in time you'll wonder why you were so infatuated with her.


    Lastly, what are you doing to get out there and meet other women? This should the main focus for you.

    Are you actively meeting other women or are you spending all your day thinking about this girl?
    Are you also working on yourself and improving yourself?

    If you have a lot of insecurities surrounding women, then that should be what you work on. Not trying to get back a girl that you'll absolutely struggle to keep hold of because of the insecurities that you have.
    Vox - Love Systems Instructor
    -------------------------------------------------

    NEW WEBSITE LAUNCH 2016 - www.datingcoachvox.com

    FOLLOW ME: Twitter / Facebook

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShyGuy96 View Post
    She knows I still have feelings for her, and she had to know it would bother me, so why say it? I wouldnt do that to her
    She's using you for validation. So even if she is a 10/10 beauty she doesn't exactly sound like a 10/10 personality. Not the kind of girl I would want, that's for sure.

    This is all on you mate. It up to you to move on. This girl will gladly let you fantasize about her for another 8 years.

    You're wasting your life and it's time to move on. There are so many great things to learn on this forum that will make you able to get hundreds of girls like this one (because when you get good at game you will quickly realize that what you think is a 10/10 is actually just a normal girl), so why the hell waste time on a girl who takes advantage of you

    Article: Getting over your perfect 10

  6. #6

    I feel like youre definitely right about her using me for validation. I just got done hanging out with her and she was kinda fishing for compliments. I didn't do it though, because I didn't feel like giving her the validation that I knew she expected/wanted. Did I do the right thing in doing that?

    Also she does have an awesome personality despite what Ive said about her, been one of my closest friends for 8 years. I have moved on from trying to pursue any sexual relationship though, unless she hints at it.

  7. ahhhhhhhh to be 18 again lol

    listen. women do not like insecurity. the like sensitivity. do not confuse the 2

    and what women love most are men that are NOT phased by their own b.s. which they all have, and we do to.

    you are reacting to her, even if you arent physicakky acting

    some great advice here. everything she does, make a joke out of it. she is testing yo becuase she likes you. ans woman will never show they like you. they will just do shitty test after shitty test after shitty test to see how "you react".

    you need to be a man. that what she wants from you. acting like a woman will get you no where. which you did.

    start talkiing to other girls. then ask your friend girl for advice about what to do with them. so how much that tickles her fancy. next time she ashs yo uout, say "well, i am talking to like 3 other girls" see how much jam she has in her dough nut then lol

    1 question - after 8 years why no ltr? why just fwb? chicks usually hate fwb unless its after a ltr

    djm

  8. they will just do shitty test after shitty test after shitty test to see how "you react".
    This is so true man! Its like in their conscious to test guys. The best thing to do in the shitty test is to just be a MAN, that means to stay calm and don't give a fuck if you feel that your ego is hurt in any way.
    Because Ego is just an abstract feeling, so let the emotional creatures (gals) have it! What a real alpha male do is he neutralizes that Ego by..

    start talkiing to other girls. then ask your friend girl for advice about what to do with them. so how much that tickles her fancy. next time she ashs yo uout, say "well, i am talking to like 3 other girls" see how much jam she has in her dough nut then lol
    [MENTION=230718]don juan matus[/MENTION] , exactly.

    Noire Licorne

  9. OK, you could do all that and basically every answer here is right, but I would go mostly with VOX, because his answer is adressing the problem in the best way.

    If you follow Don Juan's advice, you risk to "over-game" - there is another simple answer to the above situation:

    - she likes you (her being reserved could mean, that she want's to check your actions out first and then decide how she'll behave)
    - she wanted to make you jealous, because she likes you and she's not sure, if you're still interested (obviously you know how to play it cool)
    - your reaction wasn't the best but not too bad, because it was honest and strong (you didn't cry tears and you didn't really show your anger)
    - when she said "we should get together again soon" she really means it - you could have answered "Sure, I'll let you know when I'm free, OK?"
    - and the next date would be a "benefit" date and not a hairstyle date

    Bear in mind, that women live in the emotional moment (credits to Savoy) - so there isn't always a deeper meaning, except the one, that she wants to get "lucky" with you again soon - if you wait too long and play games at this point, she will find someone else to satisfy her needs.

  10. Because thats what girls like, they want assholes. If you are good to them they will come up with the dumbest reason to break up so they could get to be with an asshole. They cant admit to themselves that they actually like assholes but they will rationalize around it.

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