Openers and Starting a Conversation
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  1. #1
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    Nov 2014
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    Openers and Starting a Conversation

    The book entitled “the Game” by Neil Strauss introduced the world to the topic of openers. Openers are used to initiate a conversation with the opposite sex, and although they are relatively trivial parts of an interaction, they are often difficult to deliver firmly and confidently for beginners. The opener is not meant to attract but is meant to merely begin a conversation.

    The first topic that I want to cover is from the old school style of openers called an "indirect opener." Indirect openers are designed to allow guys to enter a group with a low-pressure question. An example of an indirect question opener is “do you have the time?” Usually these openers show little value in and of themselves, but nevertheless allow an individual to enter a conversation with little investment. Indirect question openers are simply meant to get a conversation going. Situational or opinion openers are different from indirect openers. A situational opener deals with something that is happening in an environment, whereas an opinion opener is almost like a canned routine of sorts. For example, old school opinion openers often begin with the following: “excuse me, I need your opinion on something. A friend's ex girlfriend recently asked if she could still hang out with him, but he has a new girlfriend. His girlfriend is super pissed off, but he doesn't think it's a big deal. What do you think, would you be okay with your boyfriend hanging out regularly with his ex?” These openers were certainly popular at one time, but today we generally guide students away from opinion openers because they don't allow folks to clearly state their intentions. The whole point of game and overall self improvement is to become comfortable with who you are and what you want so you can act accordingly.

    Another type of opener is a situational opener, which can stem from something as simple as watching a girl send a text message on her phone and simply saying “don't you know that there's no texting allowed here? If you keep it up you will be thrown out." It is a playful way of starting a fun conversation with a girl. Another playful way of beginning a conversation is to say something like "Whoa, I can't believe you walked by without saying hello. That is seriously rude and I'm fairly offended. I forgive you though, what's your name." Of course, this should be delivered with a smile on your face to convey that you are simply joking.

    The next type of opener that is central to Simplified Natural is a direct opener. Direct openers have been described by some as high risk because they are a clear statement of intentions. For example, a direct opener would be “excuse me, you are really cute and I have to meet you.” While it does clearly state your intentions, I do not consider it to be high risk. Yes, a woman will know right away that you are hitting on her, but that is a good thing. If she is indeed uninterested or has a boyfriend, she may end the conversation instantly, but that again is a good thing. If you can deliver a direct opener with loads of confidence and strong body language, i do believe it can be the most effective of all openers.

    But what you say is actually only a small part of the equation. The most important aspect of an opener is your body language. You need to present yourself in a calm, cool, and confident manner. Accordingly, here are some tips to keep in mind when attempting to solidify your body language.

    1. Always smile when you approach
    2. Use direct eye contact when you are talking to someone; do not look away as it shows that you are afraid or timid
    3. Always maintain good posture; if you want to see a character that shows great posture, check out Bane from the Dark Knight
    4. Keep your speaking cadence relaxed and slow

    If you want to hear more about openers, check out the Love Systems Podcast



  2. #2
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    Jun 2012
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    Great stuff!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    Link updated, 31 free podcasts to chose from, about lifestyle, fitness, outer game, inner game and much more. Check out number 20 by Braddock, it's a goldmine if you didn't make it to Super Conference.

    The Love Systems podcast


    If there's a problem with the link again, please post in this thread.

  4. Girls always mention eye contact! Make sure to make it or else pay!

  5. #5

    Openers and Starting a Conversation

    Just wondering if there are anything we need to know about starting ipas at our club fps

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