How to get UNSTUCK in game. Distilling 7 years of experience & my Project Rockstar

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    How to get UNSTUCK in game. Distilling 7 years of experience & my Project Rockstar

    How to FINALLY get where you've always hoped you would in game. Or how to get UNSTUCK in game, if you've hit a wall.

    I'm a Project Rockstar 2012 alumni. I'll be the first to admit that I was very, very stuck in game and didn't think I would EVER get to where I wanted to be. I've put myself through YEARS of reading everything there is to read about game, learning directly from some of the best LS instructors (Intrigue, Venture, Sterling, Nick Hoss, Future, and many more), and gaming the hard way to find a way to get myself to the success I always wanted. Not having to settle for okay success that didn't really satisfy me. That's my background, hopefully it will be enough to tell you that my background is good enough that you might be interested in how I got myself out of that rut. Game can be a tough world. Here's how I got unstuck. I'm quite confident the information you need to get yourself over the final humps so you no longer have to settle is contained here...

    Let's get started.

    There's eight things that you need to be at the level of game that would really satisfy you, and they're all attitudes/vibes. If you nail these seven things (or six of them, even), you will open, hook, escalate, and close. Period. With the girls that you want. The reason you're stuck is almost certainly a lack of proper vibes and understandings – reading another set of tactics, model of interactions, or complicated post on being a man doesn't given you simple, actionable items does not give you an ACTIONABLE way to come across the way you need to to regularly get attractive girls. Here are the four: 1) Free. You must act in a way that is free of conflicting thoughts and holding back. No uncertainty and being torn in different directions. Being “Self Entertaining” is one tactic to make you free. Tyler D also calls it being “unstifled,” but free is a better word. 2) Commanding. You must NOT ask for people's attention or action, nor must you aggressively try to force it. Instead you need to have an air that commands people's attention and action. Pick up has evolved into a long list of cute ways to more cleverly ask her to talk to you, ask for her number, ask her to move, ask her friends for permission, ask her to go home with you – meanwhile the big dumb animal of a frat-boy natural pulls more girls than you with 1/100 the toolset you've developed. 3) Sexual tension. The misunderstood and under-utilized secret to game, and the common thread with nearly all good naturals. Secret – it's nearly ALL non-verbals, and not in the standard “subcoms” way you're used to hearing about. You need to be consciously aware of, and intentionally speak the sexual tension language. 4) Proper use of sudden, high levels of energy to force acceptance of frames or compliance. Also proper use of energy to kick start the interaction (and knowing when to not be so high energy any more to allow tension to build). 5) Energy communication, not content communication [Explained later] 6) Logistical competence. You have to know how to properly escalate things in a way that isn't weird and gets the job done. 7) Being smooth (which involves, but is bigger than, being calibrated). 8) Understanding women's sexuality, the way they operate, and the varieties of women. First off, girls like sex and obsess about it more than we do, but they also feel on some level or another that they have to keep it on lock. Come to terms with their sexuality. Then there's the matter of understanding how they operate [This comes in more if you have to start going to text game]. She didn't text you back when you sent her that really clever line that always works? Maybe she wants to hook up and know that you won't be weird about it. She didn't respond when you asked her straight out for drinks? Maybe she wants to develop a higher level of comfort with you. Maybe she doesn't want to date your ass, she just wants to have sex with you – but you're acting really date-y. [Think about it – you met her in a bar in a tight cocktail dress... You do the math on how unlikely that is]

    Spoiler alert – this is intended to discuss DIFFERENT things than every other game source. I'm assuming you have a pretty good knowledge of game coming into this, but that everything you know and have done hasn't yet gotten you where you want to be. This is supposed to be the one piece of supplementary information that can help those of you who feel you've hit a wall get over and past that wall. This is for those of you who no matter how hard you look and what you try can't seem to find what you need to get around the wall. Other instructors and gurus got you to this wall, and once you're past the wall they will get you where you want to wind up... This is about getting around the wall.

    I want you to have a SIMPLIFIED and ACTIONABLE view on things, that has been tested a lot by a ton of people to actually work on getting you to the level with girls that you want. I don't want you to find that if you do everything you've read about to a “T” that you still can't get the girls you want regularly and there is some mysterious glass ceiling. The fact is, I have finally gotten to a point where I'm reasonably happy with my game, but I still mess up multiple items out of the six listed above regularly – the difference is, those six are the complete list of what you REALLY need. So now I can go back and see which of them I let down, why, and how I can do it better, and it leads to steady and clear progression with better and better results. My experience before that was that you're being tugged in a thousand different directions by a thousands systems, theories, and models which are all both too complicated and at the same time lacking. That's why I got stuck. Big time stuck. Where I didn't know if I would ever get what I wanted no matter who I learned from and how much effort I put into my game.

    To cut to the chase a bit so you can decide if you want to keep reading, in all my experience and from every one of the great instructors I've watched, the difference between 'game' and 'good game' is SEXUAL TENSION. Period. I've watched some incredibly funny instructors get little or nothing over and over. I've watched instructors with years and years and years of experience come up with nothing. And I've watched instructors that are relatively new to LS and who only crack jokes here and there go home with girls – including very hot ones – left, right, and center. The difference? Sexual tension.
    What's the difference between getting blown out and not getting blown out? SMOOTHNESS. What's the difference between hooking and not hooking? Proper use of energy. Why can some people go out and all the pieces align, while others go out feeling like they're constantly juggling tons of moving parts and can't help but drop half of them? Attitude and point of view. And, finally, what's the difference between becoming a real master (which I would not call myself, btw) and being thoroughly average? Your perceptions on everything that happens in game, from the micro to the macro, combined with hard work applied in the right ways. Now that I've thrown in a little intro to everything I'm about to go into, let's get talking...


    So. You've been reading about game, maybe gaming a good bit, maybe gaming a lot. At first you got a lot more success than you had before. But now you might impress your friends, but you really feel like you're not getting what you want and you can't quite figure out why. Things seemed to be stalled in your game. Stuck. Why? You're searching desperately through the forums, watching DVDs, maybe even going to bootcamps trying to figure out how to get things moving again. You might even be doubting that you can ever get what you want in game. It's frustrating. I've been there. I was in Project Rockstar which was amazing and taught me a ton. But even AFTER project Rockstar, even when I had game that most people wish they had, I still was nowhere near the game I wanted to have. And I couldn't find a way to get there. Eventually I went out every day for months. I learned from the BEST, and I mean the BEST. I researched, I contemplated, I journaled, I studied, I observed, I tested. For the longest time I was still painfully stuck. But eventually, I figured out why. Now I'm a couple years of practice away from being with the very best still, but I'm very much unstuck. And, more importantly, I know EXACTLY what got me stuck, what got me unstuck, and how to explain it so that YOU can get unstuck. This is for all of you that don't know why you're not getting the results that you want. But only those of you willing to put in the work. This is an accumulation of knowledge from the very best in the world which many of you will, sadly, never have access to. This is about 7 years in the making, my gift back to pickup for everything that it has given me – this is the hidden truths, knowledge and revelations that will get YOU unstuck. That will get you, FINALLY, to where you want to be in game. There are many things in here that I had to read between the lines from the teaching of the best guys in the world, and things that I had to learn, discover and study the HARD way. This post is mostly about the things that you won't here anywhere else, but will be crucial to getting those of you who got stuck at some point to your final destination. I've worked long and hard to get the knowledge and experience in here, and spent a lot of time writing this. All that to say that this is a supplement to everything else you've learned, and it may very well act as the final key that opens the lock to the success you want in game. So for those of you who already know everything or have gamed a ton but feel they need something extra, this is the something extra that it would've taken you years to get... All written down to make sure that you have what you need starting tonight. I hope it helps at least a few of you! And maybe it will make up for the fact that before now I haven't given much back to the game community, despite everything I've gotten.

    To give you a quick teaser before I introduce myself and how I got here (which I've separated by a dashed line so you can skip that section and get to the good stuff), the first thing I'm going to talk about are the 5 things that nearly all naturals DO. In the community we always talk about how naturals think and their vibe, but if you want to go out tonight and have more success, you need to know what to DO not just how to think. How to think helps you in the long run, but what to do helps you right now. You need both. And I think I'll be one of the first people to really go into depth on the basic building blocks of ACTION, not thought, that make up a natural.

    Then we'll go into a few categories. I think people either get stuck or don't quite get where they want to in game for reasons that fall into seven categories. This is more about the progression of game, whereas the 8 things you need to do mentioned above are what happens IN SET:

    0) Not knowing what vibe you should have, what attitude you should approach women and life with, etc. There's so many options and so many styles of game... Should you be hilarious? Should you be mysterious and interesting and do magic tricks? Should you be crazy and unpredictable? There's a different set of game theory that advises each of these, and often says any of them will work. Worse, no guidance as to when a specific attitude might be best or useful. The general advice is “do what seems right in the situation.” But most people who have spent tons of time learning game aren't where they want to be – so something's not quite right. I assure you, and so do Tyler D and most of the best current game teachers in their own way, that it starts here.

    1) Full understanding of what you should be doing, what it looks like, and what REALLY makes game tick and produces results. There's SO MUCH information out there about game. But most of it is tangential. Most of it is secondary. Different ways to do the same basic things. If you don't fully understand what those basic things are, how to do them, and what makes them tick, then you're not getting very far. You need to be able to picture yourself doing exactly the right things in an intricate way in order to go out and do it right

    2) Having the proper understanding of how you should look at things, how things should feel – you need to be able to picture exactly what you should be doing.
    It also needs to be built in a way that's congruent to who you are... In some ways you have to define your 'best self' and build everything congruently from there.

    3) Really understanding how women look at things, how things unfold, and the best mindsets and inner dialog and attitudes in relation

    4) Identifying and understanding the roadblocks that lie in our subconscious and how to get around them. I call root, subconscious roadblocks “blocking perceptions.” The way we perceive everything compounds into our strategies and our tactics and our beliefs and our actions. No one is perfect, no one is born and raised with perfect perceptions for success in game. Naturals are people who were born and raised with fewer blocking perceptions, fewer subconscious perceptions that get in their way. There's nothing standing between you and their level of success or greater except the subconscious perceptions in your mind that get in your way, and perhaps physical attributes like height or good looks that some people have and you may or may not. (Physical things play more of a role than people like to talk about, but they can basically all be overcome. Really they play into first impressions, which ultimately makes things easier or harder, but neither gives success nor makes it impossible).

    5) Using energy communication, not content communication

    6) The little things. There are many of these. Some of them are very important. A lot of people talk about a lot of them. I'll just mention a few that I think get ignored and are critical, but this is where taking bootcamps, watching products, and just going out a lot comes in. Really no one could ever write down all the little things, or master all of them, or even know all of them. But there are certain little things you HAVE to know that will sink you otherwise

    This is going to be a long post. Like a mini-book. I promise that this is going to have a lot of what many of you have been searching for months or years for. It's not supposed to replace your bootcamps and in-field time, it's just supposed to open up the log jam that has been keeping those activities from getting you where you want to be. The best way to find out if you're going to learn new things that might help out is to just start reading this. I've tried to front-load some good stuff, so if you like what you read in the beginning, keep reading. Hopefully some of you will wind up reading the whole thing and it will help you out!

    Here's a roadmap for what I've got in the post:
    1) What all naturals DO. Ie, the pieces you should put into how you interact with women no matter what 'game' you build on top of it
    1.5) Content vs Energy communicators – why naturals are naturals [This section also holds the key to hooking more sets]
    2) “It's just a little fun.” The basic mindset of any successful game strategy. And quite possibly where a lot of your hangups lie
    3) Smoothness. The ignored secret of game
    4) Framing and logistics – go read Intrigue's posts. I could never even touch what he's already written and his knowledge on these. Captain Jack also is the framing Guru if you can find his audio
    5) Examples of the vibes and attitudes you need that you can go watch to get a good picture in your mind
    6) Attitudes towards sexuality, etc.
    7) How you approach social interaction
    8) How you approach 'conversation' (ie, lose the word conversation from your vocabulary)
    9) The little things. Like don't lean in right when you're first opening so she doesn't recoil back and go on the defensive. Or commit 100% to your opener in both action and voice. Etc.
    10) After that, a bunch of roadblocks, blocking perceptions, and little notes
    11) How to practice out of the field (I think a key, and overlooked, aspect of learning pickup)

    So let me introduce myself, and if you don't care skip this section and get right into the good stuff!
    Quick background on my game, how I got to feeling stuck, and how I got unstuck. If you don't care, just skip past the next dashed line-

    The foundation of my game was laid by old school books and DVDs – Mystery Method, David DeAngelo, Style. Then my game was brought to the next level by Project Rockstar, and solid foundations were laid by Venture, Sterling, and guys like Future and Intrigue. Then I was lucky enough to be great friends with Intrigue, who in my opinion is right there tied with the best in the world depending on how you look at it. Which is to say, if you want a bootcamp or a private lesson, your list should be short: Braddock (who I think is retired/retiring. Sorry I don't follow the gossip). Intrigue. Venture. Tyler D. There's a couple people I don't have much experience with that maybe should make this short list – I've heard Labby is a legend, and Helicase, and a couple people from other companies. After them, there's another short list of guys that you will learn a TON from and are well worth taking a bootcamp with. I won't both listing names because a lot of my friends are LS instructors and they should all be on the short list and I'd hate to leave anyone who taught me so much great stuff off the list. I don't think many people will disagree with the people I put at the very top of the list, though like I said there's certainly some omissions.

    After I had 'good' (reasonable?) game post-Rockstar, I was still nontetheless pretty unhappy with my game. I had 7's stalking me in high school. I didn't get into game for a plethora of 7's. On Rockstar I'd had a few great experiences with very hot girls, but long story short, I wanted regularly to have 8's and better in my life. I moved to San Diego, which is a tough place to game. A few good experiences with the girls I wanted, but only a few in 3 months. Then I spent time in Austin with Intrigue. He finally started to get my game on track. THEN I started listening to a bunch of Tyler D stuff. I'd ignored him for years because of his shitty reputation in the good 'ole book “The Game.” Well, I'll tell you right now – Tyler D is a true genius of game. He's very possibly the world's foremost leader in intellectual understanding of game. Intrigue, Tyler D, Venture – those are the guys you want teaching game. They get it. They can do it.

    Intrigue – thanks for all the help, thanks for being a good buddy!

    The first thing you need to get unstuck in game is to know what you need to start DOING. Eventually to really move forward you have to change how you perceive things and how you go about things, and that takes time and effort. But to begin with, you have to start with what to DO. The best place to start is not to teach you more tactics that get used here and there, there's more people with more tactics out there than you'll ever need. But it's much better to teach you how to do things that will make you build the emotions that you need to build no matter WHAT you're talking about, or where you are, or what the circumstances around you are. That sounds good, right? It's like being an attractive girl – no matter where she goes or what she does or what she says, she still carries that attraction around with her. You've probably assumed that guys can never quite have that... The answer is yes and no. If you're not famous, you'll never have what a 10 has, where everywhere she goes everyone wants her. Even if you're tall and good looking and rich and jacked, unless you also roll with an entourage of models you'll never carry around attraction automatically like a girl that's a 10. However, guys actually CAN carry around a similar, if slightly less powerful, attraction that can kick in during the first 5 or so minutes of their conversations. Without 'game'. And it's by using a few little things that almost all naturals do, that almost NEVER get discussed in any type of game conversation.

    That's what you want, right? You've read everything, watched everything, gamed a lot, maybe even taken all the bootcamps. But you don't feel like you're getting where you should be in game. You either feel stuck, or that your results aren't what you always hoped they would become. So you're reading this, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'll get something that's not written everywhere else.

    You will. Because this is what I had to figure out after watching everything, gaming a lot, and talking to everyone in order to get my game 'unstuck' and get it moving into the place I had always wanted it to be. I had to figure this out the hard way, the really hard way to be honest, so I'm writing it to make your life much easier (but don't kid yourself that you don't need lots of hard work). So let's start with how you can change a few simple, basic things that will let you ALWAYS carry around being attractive. Not in your mindsets that somehow are supposed to mysteriously manifest into attraction, but actually in WHAT YOU CAN DO.

    A lot of people talk about naturals and how they game and try to adopt it. The conversation invariably gets derailed into how they think and their vibe. Their mindset, and what they put out – especially their masculinity and not giving a fuck. Those are essential to learn and over time (years) to ingrain more and more into who you are. And they come out in how you game. Unfortunately, those won't get you results for quite some time because you still have to DO something when you're in set, and your brain automatically snaps back to what it is used to doing (we don't rise to the occasion, we fall back on our training/habits). In other words, if you go out trying to 'act like a natural' tonight, the moment you're nervous or feel stress or whatever, you're going to largely revert to what you're used to doing. This is overcome in three ways – time and experience, training out of the field to ingrain things in your head and neural pathways, and knowing what to DO.

    That's the catch. People say naturals do a lot of different things, but it all comes from the same sort of place. True. But also not true. Those people are missing it. There are a few very subtle, very key things that ALL naturals do. They're very intricate, but also very straightforward and at times simple. And you can learn to start doing them almost right away, though to remember to KEEP doing them and to get good at them will take a very long time and a lot of training.

    Naturals do one of two things, always (unless they're social circle naturals): They either use energy to keep girls around until the night progresses and the girl doesn't want to leave them or they wind up at an after part, or they use sexual tension until the girl wants to rip their clothes off and makes it happen, or, usually, both. Now, I still haven't told you what they all DO, have I? What I've said is only slightly more useful than telling you how masculine they are or something like that. BUT, here's the great thing. There are a few things they basically all do in order to accomplish those things.

    Let's start with opening, because if I get into how naturals succeed with women first it can actually cause problems. What they do in the middle of the set is often from how they beginning, and you can fall into the trap I fell into – trying to pick a girl up with sexual tension but finding that you can't even hook many sets. The catch is, you're taking a girl and turning her from her current state of running around drinking, laughing with friends, hoping to be told she's sexy and then walk away, and turning her into a state where she actually wants to have sex with you. Some girls in the club are looking to have sex and you don't have to change their state that much. Some of them want to just be out laughing with their girl friends and maybe get a number from a cute guy that they won't call later. Either way, if you come in full-sexual, most of the time it's going to be surprising and too different from their state and they won't talk to you. In a lot of ways, this is where the old mantra “Come in with energy equal to or slightly higher than the set's energy” comes in. Though I think there's a better way to put it – energy can be used to blow anything open if done right, suddenly, and in the right vibe. We'll talk about that a lot more later. Now, let's get started on pickup's most misunderstood topic – sexual tension.

    To start with, they're often masters at building sexual tension (unless they solely rely on the more difficult and unpredictable use energy until she winds up with you method). Luckily, there are only 5 ways to build sexual tension, and most naturals use the easiest and most repeatable ones (as should you):

    1) Proximity. Why do you think it's loud in clubs? So you talk right in a girl's ear. Which creates sexual tension. Which gets people laid. Which associates good memories and brings them back to that club. That and it creates an emotional mood. Think of the player vibe guys you see out, what do you see? They usually have their mouth just about glued to the girls ear as they yak on and on and on. You think that's just some coincidental thing player guys do? It's not. The thing with proximity, is it's context-based. On the street in day game, if your face is 1 foot from hers, you're probably creating sexual tension. In the club, your lips should basically be brushing her ear or at least she should be able to feel your breath. You should be able to feel the warmth from each other's bodies. Proximity has to escalate a bit like everything else, but especially at night it can escalate much quicker than kino or almost anything else – and it's often more powerful.

    2) Eye contact along with either pauses in conversation, or proximity. Eye contact alone doesn't equal
    sexual tension. You could talk to her at a mile a minute from 3 feet away with eye contact all night and feel NOTHING. But you could talk to her across a dinner table, and if you keep throwing in long pauses and staring into your eyes, she might eventually get wet. Or, if you talk to her 4 inches from her face staring into her eyes, she'll get turned on no matter WHAT you say. Pretty cool, right? You can say almost anything, and you're STILL moving towards getting the girl. If you say something incongruent with what's going on – something goofy, nervous, whatever – you could kill it. But I've literally had my forehead against a girls, staring into her eyes, and talked about the most BORING shit because I was feeling uninspired and she still wanted me like nothing else.

    3) I feel like I should re-iterate the pauses in conversation (which also can be speaking very, unusually slowly instead of fully pausing). It HAS to go along with eye contact to create tension, but really you could say the first three are proximity, eye contact, and pauses in conversation. Almost all of you feel really nervous about 'letting the conversation die'. Which, unfortunately for you, is one big reason you're not getting the results you want. You're too nervous to shut the fuck up and build tension, which means you don't build much tension, which means she might have fun with you but she never WANTS you so badly she can't think about much else. Which means you only get laid when you're so fun that she wants to spend the night with you. Which is basically the old model of game – either be fun enough or interesting enough that she stays around you long enough that you can use kino and some sexualized conversation in order to escalate. Or until you can logistically escalate and then physically and verbally escalate. In other words, the old model of game is to be more stimulating than anything else in the bar until you can finally get around to dealing with sexuality at a later point. Anything about that sound wrong? How about the fact that you're in a fucking club DESIGNED to stimulate and full of people out looking for stimulation? Yeah, in game we train to beat all of that... But what do you think the success rate of you being THE most interesting or fun thing in the club is? If you're the fucking man, maybe 80%. If you're not the man, maybe 5% or 30%. Not very reliable. BUT, if you can shut the fuck up sometimes and just stare into her eyes. Or take a really long time to say things while staring into her eyes, guess what? Now you're escalating and making her want you NOW instead of waiting to do it later. Which means she's already emotionally associating you with sex and her brain is identifying you as the person she feels like having sex with TONIGHT, which in turn means you're doing something the club is NOT designed to do, and not very many of the people in it are good at. Now what do you think your success rate is? 40% if you suck, 95%+ if you rock. You can win that game over and over and over. And naturals do. There's another reason I separated pauses in conversation in this list. And that's because like joke threads, you need to STRETCH it. In the first 10 seconds you can pause and stare into her eyes for a few seconds, and I personally always do (though whether you do depends on your style of opening and what's congruent for you and how you game). 5 minutes in, you can pause for a fairly significant amount of time, and you should, while looking into her eyes. After longer, when it's really on, you can pause and look into her eyes until you kiss – ie, you don't resume conversation. More importantly what I'm saying is that as the conversation goes on, you should STRETCH the length of your pauses out, and by and large start speaking more slowly. Conversations have rhythm, and the rhythm subconsciously holds and conveys the CONTEXT. Watch a movie and watch how frequently they speak really slowly and pause a lot – way more, if you were to think about it, than you and your friends EVER do. That's because those pauses and silences and slow speaking moments convey an impact and weight of emotions that almost all of us NEVER use in our daily lives. What does that mean for game? Opportunity. I'm telling you right now that there's an untapped world of powerful emotion available in communication that everyone naturally understands and hardly anyone uses. That's opportunity. The kind of opportunity that lets you play a game you can win just about every time, unlike the stimulation game that everyone else is competing in. So, what I'm saying is, as you talk to her, when you're not joking or throwing in energy, you should be throwing in increasingly slower speech and longer pauses with eye contact. You should be trying to make her wet by doing this. And you should be making ever more tension, and not backing down from it. Don't suddenly laugh, get nervous, change the subject, look away, or crack a joke when you're successfully building more and more tension. That ruins it.

    The great thing about pauses is this is your “build sexual any time” card. If you meet a family friend at a dinner party and your whole family is around and you want to pick her up in a very low key and acceptable way. Just keep using eye contact as you speak more slowly and throw in more pauses. At the end of the night, or 15 minutes later – whichever comes first – you'll have all the attraction and tension you need. No routines, no kino escalation, not a word that your family couldn't have sat and listened to. That's pretty useful in my book.

    4) Kino. Why do you suppose I put this so far down my list? Because everyone in game already knows about it. But also because girls are more resistant to it at first. Though most guys have NO IDEA how quickly girls open up to it (in fact, I always think I have to wait longer than I do, even now). People like being touched by people they like and people that turn them on. You do, why wouldn't she? Guess what, she does. If you're doing well, she wants you to touch her, she likes it. Sometimes I might keep building tension and intentionally not touch her because the proximity and pauses with eye contact and without touching can be MORE powerful than kino (because she wants you so badly to touch her and you don't. And because sexual touching can turn her on but it can also relieve the sexual tension. That's why makeout guy in the club makes out with the chick for an hour and then she feels satisfied and a little slutty and just leaves him and he gets nothing). Anyway, kino can create sexual tension. The best types are what Venture and Sterling call “dominance bursts” which is where you might grab the belt loops on her pants and suddenly (not violently, just dominantly) pull her into you and look into her eyes or smell her. Of course, that's an extreme example for later in set that could get you slapped if you do it without calibration, but those types of things are powerful. Another example is I frequently, almost always, give neck massages if I'm sitting down next to a girl. I could be talking about the most comforting of comfort things, but I'm good enough with a neck massage that she might jump me even though I'm talking about puppies. That's sexual tension through touch. Notice that a neck massage can start very lightly and innocently and if she's even sort of comfortable with you she is unlikely to reject it (some girls don't like having their neck touched or things like that). And a neck massage is never an overtly sexual act, meaning people watching are unlikely to object. Especially because I do it one handed while sitting next to her. But when I lightly run my fingernails over her skin or work my fingers into the base of her hair or deeper into the muscle, it's very sexual. But I'm not grabbing her chest or anything she's likely to push away. Another example, though, of creating sexual tension through kino is to put her hand on your dick on the outside of your pants. To many of you this probably sounds surprising – it did to me at first, and it did to guys like Intrigue or Future or Venture at first too, but they do it all the time with great results. Of course, this usually requires you to be turned on enough that you're hard, meaning she's turned on enough that she's wet, and it requires a lot of calibration or you might get slapped and thrown out of the club, and most of all it requires balls and just owning it because she might at first recoil in horror or surprise or stare into your eyes and test you and see if you crack. If you crack, apologize, act like you shouldn't have done it, that's when you get slapped and she runs away. If you grin cheekily and stare into her eyes without cracking, she might giggle and put her hand back, make out with you, start rubbing your dick, or drag you to somewhere more private. Oddly, that creates more tension in general than you putting your hand on her crotch – partly because she's strangely enough more likely to reject that and partly because like I said before, touching her sexually relieves some of her sexual tension rather than building it (there's a difference between being more turned on and having more sexual tension. If you're actually addressing being turned on by doing something sexual, you're relieving the tension of being turned on. If you're just turned on but there's nothing directly sexual going on, you're stuck wanting it and thinking about it without any satisfaction. That's what you want, her wanting it and thinking about it without satisfaction until you're alone). There's a weird effect where she catches her breath when you touch her and it turns her on but makes her nervous and she pushes you away. Whereas if you put her hand on your dick, she doesn't feel that sudden rush of being touched sexually, but she feels the sexuality of the situation and that creates a tension that isn't relieved by her being touched. Sorry I can't explain that one better, it's tough to describe.

    5) Verbal sexualization. This is last on my list because it's the most intricate and complicated, which means that it takes the most learning and skill, and that it can be applied in fewer situations. It's also very well known in game, like kino. Kino and verbal sexualization are standard game teaching, actually. But both of those things get rejected a lot more frequently by girls. Verbal sexualization probably gets rejected most, even more than kino. Some girls will fuck you but don't want to talk about it because they get uncomfortable. Others are very comfortable talking about it. But all girls want to be touched and have sex, which really means that verbal sexualization can get rejected by more girls. Of course, if you're good at innuendo – implying sexual things – girls love that and girls that don't overtly talk about sex will play along much more often. Frequently before they're comfortable with you touching them in any sexual manner. So it's a double edged sword. Regardless, you can't do this at a dinner party with family around. Nor can you do kino. And both require you to build more compliance with her, and both have a lot more intricacies and calibration required than eye contact or pauses or proximity. And both are just more complicated and harder to learn than eye contact or proximity or pauses. Basically what I'm saying is that eye contact, pauses and proximity are easier to learn, effective in more situations and in all languages, often more powerful, used by fewer people, rejected less often, and are used more universally by naturals. I have a friend who is an incredible natural, but his verbal sexualization is largely non-existent when he's flirting with girls in public. His kino is there, but usually not very sexual. So why is he constantly disappearing upstairs with gorgeous girls at house parties? Well, they like him because of his preselection, looks and reputation. But that doesn't get him to the point that girls want to go upstairs with him (though the preselection might sometimes). No, it's his eye contact, pauses and proximity. Everyone around thinks he's having innocent conversation, but he's constantly turning girls on even though the people standing next to him aren't even aware of what's going on. And the next thing you know, they disappear to his bedroom for the night. So, verbal escalation and kino are great and are the mainstays of game since “The Game,” but I would argue they're not the best ways to get the job done. Eye contact, proximity and kino could get you laid in France with a girl who doesn't speak a word of English. Kino could, but how do you escalate to the point of introducing kino if you can't speak her language? It's tough. You can jabber at her in English and even though she doesn't understand a word, if you use eye contact, pauses, and proximity, she might still get carried away with you. Not saying it would happen often, but it can and has. And forget about verbally escalating in that situation.

    Why do I mention this? Because the first three things I wrote are basically the universal language of sexual tension. They don't get rejected often (though if a girl doesn't like you she may avoid eye contact and she will move farther away). They work on everyone. They're easy to learn. And, maybe most important of all, they carry with them a subtle implication that you're the real deal and you know what you're doing. That you ARE an inherently attractive person, you're not just acting attractive. Anyone can (and does) try to touch women, and anyone can try to talk sexually. It means nothing. Girls don't inherently and subconsciously trust those things, because they can just be an act. You can still be a giant creep or a loser or a pussy who is just talking sexually and trying to touch her. In fact, that's what most creeps, losers, and pussies do to her. BUT, the guys who are really attractive NEVER THINK to hold eye contact with her in conversational pauses, to talk to her with eye contact and close proximity, to speak right into her ear so she can feel their breath, to speak slowly while staring into her eyes. Her brain subconsciously assumes that any guy that does those things is the real deal. There's some term for that that's slipping my mind, like “honest indicators” or something. Things our brain thinks it can trust because they're hard to fake. These are the ways to build attraction and sexual tension without getting tested like crazy. She'll probably still test you, but she doesn't feel as much need to because she doesn't get that feeling like you might just be acting. You're passing the tests before she needs them, in many ways.

    If you don't believe me, watch “Rock of Ages” and pay very close to my favorite movie character of all time – Tom Cruise who is 'Stacee Jaxx.' His character is the pure embodiment of sexual tension. The way he moves, the slow way he speaks, his long pauses and intense eye contact. The way he cocks his head to the side and evaluates people (why qualify her when the way you look at her implies qualification already? Why use false disqualifiers or negs when the way you look at her with your head cocked to the side tells her without words that you're not sure about her and she might need to impress you?). Stacee Jaxx IS honest indicators of sexual attractiveness. He IS sexual tension. Of course, Stacee Jaxx is NOT a pickup artist because if you're not famous, a girl won't talk to you unless you're also fun and she's comfortable enough around you. Ie, if Stacee Jaxx wasn't a famous rockstar, girls would run away from him in a bar even if he was incredibly sexy. And he sure as hell can't stand in line at the supermarket or do regular people things. No, Stacee Jaxx is sexual tension. Stacee Jaxx is something you should be able to channel in your sets, even more than half the time. But Stacee Jaxx can't approach a regular girl in a club, or make her feel comfortable about going back to his place.

    Now, verbal sexualization has a couple important advantages. As Boulder (or Boulderrrr as he prefers) my LS instructor friend showed me, there are a few situations where verbal sexualization is better. First, text game. You don't have proximity, eye contact, silent pauses, or kino in text game. Same with any online form of game. If you want to turn her on in texting, it's either verbal sexualization, or sending suggestive pictures (I send a lot of suggestive pictures of other people. Basically artistic photographs of sexual situations). Second, if you're on a date with a girl who is a sexual tension cutter. Despite what they think, girls don't have very good game. Many girls will talk fast, avoid eye contact, fill in pauses, and not shut the fuck up on a date. Then they might sit on the other side of a table from you, or too far away for kino or whatever. I design around that with my date choices (sitting in the grass somewhere outside, for instance. Or playing pool and standing in front of their shots so they reach around me. Etc.) However, sometimes they are dead set on going to their local favorite spot where they wind up sitting on the other side of a table and subconsciously blocking other forms of building tension (this happened to me last night, if you can't tell). Then you need verbal sexualization. Or you have to be really strong with the frame, take the floor speaking, and speak MUCH slower than you would if you were in rapport with the frame she's in, including big pauses and such. That's hard. In that kind of a case, verbal sexualization will save what would be an interesting but friendly date with no sexuality and turn it into a good situation. (Sexuation, if you will. Ha.). Third, it will help you out in a bar picking up girls who are unconscious sexual tension cutters in that situation. Some girls (especially in lower energy bars) will lean away from you, avoid intense eye contact, and fill pauses in conversation excessively. That's when you start using innuendo and verbal sexualization to still get her turned on.

    But, ultimately, you should be using eye contact and proximity wherever possible. Your brain barely has to think to use those whenever you possibly can.

    I know many of you are thinking “Eye contact is NOT going to suddenly fix my game. I've been out a lot, I make eye contact, it's nonsense to think this could change anything.” That's not the point – I'm not saying “Make eye contact.” I'm saying “Move your face 5 inches from hers and look deep into her eyes as you talk slowly” or “Stop talking for an extended period of time and just stare into her eyes.” I'm sure you do make eye contact all the time. But very few of you reading this probably do either of those with any regularity. And ESPECIALLY not early in set, and especially not with the intention of steadily building up tension. That WILL change your game. I promise. I do it every set, every night (and every day) and you can sit there and watch the gears turning in her mind if she doesn't look away to avoid the building tension. Fuck eye contact, that's beginner stuff. I'm talking just about eye contact with pauses or at least very slow speech, or eye contact with very close proximity.

    There's also a very slight difference between making eye contact with INTENT during a regular conversation, even without pauses or proximity, and regular eye contact. In a regular situation, guys will make very slight movements of their eyes every so often, cut even what is generally prolonged eye contact for a split second here and there, and generally have an interested look, not one of intent. If you take away those tiny, tiny gestures (which you wouldn't even notice yourself, or think that she would), you can build a basic level of tension with eye contact even without pauses or proximity. But the only way to build a large amount of tension is with extended pauses including intense eye contact, or with very tight proximity with eye contact.

    There are three secrets to sexual tension when you're learning: 1) If you feel it, she feels it. In other words, you should feel butterflies in your stomach or feel yourself getting turned on. If you don't, she doesn't either. Sexual tension is a two way street. Future said if you're hard, she's wet – and while I didn't entirely believe him at first, it's pretty fucking true. You should be trying to stretch the sexual tension until she's wet, which means you're hard. 2) If you try something out on your guy friend, it should feel gay. Talk to your guy friend during the day with proximity – the point where you're close enough to feel gay is when you're close enough to have sexual tension. Try it again at night in the club, you'll notice it doesn't feel gay until you're much closer because you're used to people being close at night. 3) Don't fucking break it! She should back down from it first, not you – that's a good general rule. Do I always follow that? Maybe not. But if I did, it would work well. If you're building tension and you break eye contact because you get nervous before it gets 'too much', you're fucking up. You could've built more and gotten farther and now you've cracked and shown her you can't handle it. If you start cracking jokes (humor kills sexual tension, unless it's cheeky innuendo humor) when you're trying to build tension, you're cutting it to save yourself from the nervousness of building that tension. You need to be a tension seeking missile, not a pussy who escapes it.

    It's SUPER important to know that HUMOR CUTS SEXUAL TENSION!! So if you're in the middle of building sexual tension, don't start joking around. And if she starts joking, you might want to ignore it. Sometimes girls start cutting the tension for you. That might be a cue that you need to back off and build it more in a minute, or it might be her being nervous or not knowing what to do. I'm not saying don't be funny, I'm saying build the sexual tension for a while until it's reaches the level you want it at for the moment, THEN joke around. Then go back to building tension and build it to the new level you want it at. Eventually, she might know she wants you and you can joke around for longer. But if you just joke around from there on, you'll ruin the tension eventually. Sexual tension is cut by humor. Remember that. And don't go out and do 10 seconds of building tension, 10 seconds of joking, 10 more seconds of building tension, 10 seconds of joking. That's A) nervous and B) not going to get you anywhere. If anything, it might be 2 minutes of joking, 4 minutes of sexual tension, 2 minutes of joking, 5 minutes of sexual tension, 30 seconds of joking, 3 minutes of tension, 5 minutes of joking. You need to give enough time to build things. And don't take those numbers as any kind of rule, I made them up. But I assure you that 10 seconds and 10 seconds is too much jumping around and cutting tension.

    NOTE: We're all taught to tease in game. Teasing DOES NOT create sexual tension, unless it's teasing about something romantic/sexual. Teasing DOES create tension between the two of you, but it's like a sparring tension. Like we're having fun battling each other. But it does NOT turn her on. It's not sexual tension. Which means it's basically leading to energy, not directly to sex. Additionally, some girls don't like to be teased. I find if she doesn't like to be teased, she will still respond to me being cocky. They're flip sides of the same coin. Teasing is playfully knocking her down. Some girls laugh or play along. Some girls get offended. Some girls just do not like it and walk away or shut down. Can you really blame the girls that just don't like it? Sure, they're not being fun, but who likes to be knocked down? That's why you can be cocky funny instead, which is playfully building yourself up. Both of them basically make it so that you're “cooler” than her (by knocking her down or building yourself up), but cocky funny doesn't threaten her or push her down at all so far fewer girls have any sort of negative response. Anyway, teasing generally doesn't create sexual tension. It's not directly contributing to you getting laid, it's just helping to keep her interacting with you in a fun way.

    THE “SECRET”: At some point, not too long into the set (let's say between 1 and 5 minutes in), you need to take the sexual tension you started with the above and have to cross it over to a level high enough that it motivates action. Most of you reading this are good enough at game that you know if you get a girl really turned on, almost any girl, they will start ripping your clothes off or biting you or grabbing your dick or something. Some girls only do that after you've hooked up a time or two so they're comfortable. And not all girls do all of those things, but generally speaking almost all girls have that mode where they're turned on enough to start pulling things along. My point is that you can get almost any girl feeling in this way. So... You need to get that going in your set, and while the eye contact and everything will get your sexual tension started and get you going down the proper road, you need to cross over to where she's ready for it to be on. There's not a lot of ways to do this that can be fairly smoothly done in a bar. One is verbal sexualization, but you still risk having that rejected, and it's a somewhat difficult skillset to get good at. Another, my favorite (and a bit of a secret), is to SPEAK INTO HER EAR SO SHE CAN FEEL YOUR BREATH ON HER EAR. Right into her ear. This triggers sexual tension via proximity, but there's an important reason I recommend doing exactly this one thing. In a bar or club environment, the music makes it so you have to talk closely. All it takes is some balls and pushing your comfort zone to get right in her ear to the point she can actually feel your breath. Speak slowly. And it will build the sexual tension to the point where she's quite horny and isolation in the venue, making out, leaving, etc. virtually volunteer themselves.

    Why do I think sexual tension is SO important?

    You're probably wondering why I'm talking so much about sexual tension, and why I'm talking about it first. Because it's usually a glossed over footnote, considered one of 20 elements of game. And usually considered a lesser element. But think about it – most people who wind up in game do not wind up with really great game. Some wind up standing out. What's the difference? They by and large read and watch the same things, go to the same bootcamps, even wing each other. So how do a few wind up so good? They were born with it or are naturally predisposed? No – I've seen enough in my life to tell you without getting into it that that is a stupid reason. The answer is simply that they do one or more things that other people in game don't do. Think about it – when we all basically read the same things, are taught in the same ways, and even game next to each other, how could a few people wind up doing something differently that gives so much more success? It has to be something that's NOT stressed that much in what we're taught.
    So, let's look at the best people that I've watched game quite a bit. Venture. Funny when he wants to be, but by and large his game is dominated by piercing gazes, long pauses, and an intent and leading style. Intrigue. Absolutely hilarious, often goes off on tangents just to crack himself and the guys he's out gaming with up even if the girl could care less. But when he's with a girl he really likes, you watch a gear shift, things slow down, and intensity rise. The best guy on my year of Rockstar. Too much energy half the time, but horny as crap, laser-like eye contact, and always always always talking about something sexual. Three very different guys with very different styles, but two commonalities between all three. 1) They're all horny as fuck. Those three guys have a sex drive like you wouldn't believe. But that's not the key, because we have another friend who makes them all look innocent and his game is nothing above average. 2) They all bring a huge amount of sexuality, they all build sexual tension to huge degrees, and at some point you watch each of the three of them move to intense eye contact, and slower rhythm.
    On top of that, we have celebrities as an example. How many comedians seem to get laid a lot? How many recent comedians are (or have been) seen as sex symbols? One – Dane Cook. If humor was the key to getting women, wouldn't the guys that make a job of it get a lot of women? Now think of who are our sex symbols- Channing Tatum. Ryan Gosling. Pierce Brosnan. Johnny Depp. Brad Pitt. Each of them cheeky at times, none of them hilarious. Ever. They're all brooding and intense a good amount of the time. A couple of them are frequently just light hearted about things. Now think of romantic scenes in movies. Intensity, anticipation, heavy eye contact, building until it snaps. It's not a long string of laughs until everyone's naked. Sometimes it's light-hearted and fun and games until the intensity sparks and builds.
    Next, we have my own experiences. I've been in more than a few sets where I was just in the zone being awesome and funny. The girls I was talking to couldn't breathe, or they would grab their friends and tell them they HAD to meet me because I was so funny, whatever. I wasn't being the age-old dancing monkey because I never do that, it's not me. And usually I was even being cocky about it. And basically all of those girls disappeared without a trace. Nothing came of it. On the other hand, the times that I've built up a ridiculous amount of sexual tension have ALWAYS gone somewhere. At the least an intense makeout, or a solid phone number, or a pull that got messed up by a whiny friend or something. Almost all my sets where I was on fire hilarious just dissipated. But just about NONE of the sets that were packed with sexual tension ever just wafted away in the wind. Often the girls in those sets HELPED me make something happen out of it.
    So – why does everyone learn game in terms of teasing and fun routines and energy and witty lines and blah blah blah? Because that's how you grab a girl's attention and keep it in a stimulation filled environment. Does it work? Obviously – the entire gaming industry is built around it. Everyone tells you not to be Mr. Serious, that's seen as the biggest no-no (and I agree). But the majority of the people who are learning from this industry still don't have the game they wish they had. So the model's obviously not complete. Why? Well, think about it. If I worked with a hot girl and more or less knew what I was doing, I'd probably hook up with her (or date her, or whatever) eventually. Just because I had so much time around her to work on things. THAT'S what's going on with the current model everyone uses to teach game – be fun and energetic and she'll stay around long enough that you should be able to escalate and eventually things will happen. That's the model you learned. That's the model that has you feeling stuck and reading my long-ass post.
    Now, think about what I said before that. The guys that are best in game, the guys that are sex symbols in Hollywood, and my own best sets – it all revolves around intense sexual tension. But sexual tension is always breezed over in game. So if the guys that wind up particularly excellent in game are doing something different than everyone else, something that isn't stressed much in game so that not everyone winds up focusing on it, all signs point to sexual tension. And that has very much been my own experience. Right now, the game industry wants you to get girls to not want to leave your side until they hopefully are open to you escalating and then either wind up at your place or on a date with you. But shouldn't they WANT you to escalate them before you do? Shouldn't they want to wind up on a date with you if nothing happens that night, and want the date to end 'well'? It would make a lot more sense if game revolved around getting girls to a point where they wanted you and helped make it happen, rather than 'building compliance' and 'escalating,' right? Don't you think you'd have a lot more success if the girl you were talking to was dying to wind up at your place, rather than you just hoping you didn't screw things up until she somehow just followed you home? You would, and guys like Venture and Intrigue do. That's sexual tension. Making her want SEX with YOU. Not just making her have a good time, making her laugh, making her comfortable, making her want to stay around you. But making her want to have sex with you.
    Don't you think that girls are pretty intelligent and self motivated humans, just like you? Sure they're emotional and they tend to go with the flow. But if they really want something, whether it's to get the fuck away from you, or to have sex with you, don't you think they'd actually contribute a lot to that happening? So really, this whole idea that game is based on a string of hoping the girl will let things go another step forward is coming from a point of assuming that she hasn't decided she wants you badly enough to do something about it. That's all well and good, and a lot of times that's how things will be. But trust me, if you were Ryan Gosling that same girl you're trying to subtly escalate and keep energy up with and isolate and blah-blah-blah would be working hard to drag you into a corner or invite you to go somewhere else. And if she wanted you badly enough, she would be doing the same thing even if you weren't Ryan Gosling.
    That's sexual tension.
    I don't care if you have a more conservative view and only want to date, or aren't interested in SNL's. Anything from dating to SNL's revolves around one thing – sex. Take the sex out and you just have friends spending time together. So why would you think that the best way to game is to tease her and make her laugh and remove validation and make her interested in your conversation and make her comfortable and on and on? No, the best way to game is to make her want the one thing that it all revolves around – sex. And THEN to work out everything else around it. That's the vibe of your sex symbol that every girl is out there fantasizing about. Why are you different?
    Think about 'the friend zone' that girls put so many guys in. Sure, you're not worried about that because your game is way past that point. But think about what it is – it's the guys that a girl likes that she doesn't want to have sex with. Now, take your 'pickup artist' who uses humor and good energy and social knowledge and interesting routines and removal of validation by teasing or other means and demonstrating attractive features about himself. All of that basically makes him a likable person who MIGHT be someone she'd want to have sex with. Said another way, he know has just made himself an attractive likable person. Really you could argue that if the friend zone is for guys she doesn't want to have sex with, a traditional pickup artist has done all of that work just to put himself in a gray area – where he's someone she MIGHT want to have sex with. None of that directly, without any doubt makes her want to have sex with him. Then he hopes to escalate, and he hopes THAT will make her want to have sex with him. But think about that – basically he wants to start the process of building towards sex before she necessarily wants to have sex with him hoping that it will cause her to want to have sex with him. Sounds like a process that might fail a lot, right? Shouldn't she want to have sex with him, and THEN he can escalate. Because she really wants him to? That's sexual tension. What I'm saying is that you can do everything that normal game sources have taught you to do, and you only wind up in a gray area. The guys that build sexual tension do so well because they directly make the girl want to have sex with them. They're not in the gray area. They're in the girl's “I want you, so just don't fuck it up” area. And that's a much more reliable and high success rate place to be in, I think we all can see that. Once they have enough sexual tension, the game is just not making her uncomfortable and working out logistics. They're game is just making it work out. Every other 'pickup' guy is still working as hard as he can right until the end, and often failing, and the guys who are building a lot of sexual tension are just trying to work out how to get her alone. They're playing a different game. They're playing first to get the tension, then just to find a logistical way to let it work itself out. It's a simpler formula – Step 1, get her attention. Step 2, keep her attention long enough to build sexual tension. Step 3, work out logistics/prevent something from breaking the two of you apart before logistics are good.
    The point is, sexual tension IS THE DIRECT ROUTE to success in game. Everything else you've learned in game is a way to keep her around for more time. Sexual tension is the ONLY thing that directly makes her want to reach the end goal with you. Don't believe me? Read some of Intrigue's stuff – he's had girls go tell their friends they were leaving with him, drag him outside, and hail the cab. That's sexual tension. Humor won't get you that.
    We have a friend who brings girls back to his place from the bar ALL THE TIME, like every night he goes out just about. And more than 80% of the time, NOTHING HAPPENS between him and those girls. Not even a kiss. No joke. And I'm not talking about watching this happen 5 times or ten times, it happens dozens and dozens of times. Why? How? Because he uses fun and laughter and energy and the promise of a party and alcohol to get girls to come to his place. He's a master at it. He does it all the time. But there is NO sexual tension between him and the girls whatsoever. None. Zip, zero, nada. So they are not going for sex in any way, shape or form. And then, even with them drinking IN HIS APARTMENT, nothing happens at all more than 80% of the time. So that's your extreme example – you can get girls back to your place over and over and over by using good logistics, humor, energy and leadership. Basically doing the vast majority of things right. But still very rarely get anywhere because of the lack of one key ingredient – sexual tension. (By the way, I'm not just throwing our buddy under the bus. I've talked to him about his need to change his game and add sexual tension multiple times and he realizes it, but he just doesn't want to make the changes to his style) On the other hand, I've pulled girls where I wasn't particularly witty or special at all, simply because I had TONS of sexual tension. It's the often ignored ingredient that can really change your game. Seriously. And that's why you're reading this – you know there must be a few things that aren't quite there for you that you need to really get where you want to be.
    Now, if you talk to your favorite guy who's great at game, they might not even realize the importance of sexual tension in their own game! They might think that they kill it because of the whole package of all the pieces of their game. Which they do, it's true. And they want to value everything they've put so much effort into learning. But I'd bet my bottom dollar it's their sexual tension that makes their game something you respect so much, even if they themselves don't put so much weight on that aspect.
    So – most likely if your game isn't where you want it to be and you're reading this, you don't build enough sexual tension. How much is enough? It's never enough. Unless you build it too high in advance of her feeling like you're a safe person to be around, in which case she might feel uncomfortable and leave.
    All of that to say that if you have some game experience and you start adding tons of sexual tension to your game, that alone will probably get you on the move towards finally having the level of success you want. The rest of this basically goes along in support of the sexual tension.

    Which is where we get to the NEXT aspect of naturals. Which leads to the next things that they almost all DO. Remember, we're talking about what naturals DO because everyone always just talks about how they think and what their vibe is. Almost all naturals use ENERGY. The only ones who don't would be some social circle naturals who can meet a girl at a house party and use sexual tension to do everything for them. Or the dark, brooding, mysterious naturals who might hang out at a country dancing bar and take girls home after pulling them onto the dance floor and bringing them into their world of sexual tension. But basically all naturals use energy. Why? Because remember what I said earlier – clubs, bars, parties, they're all about stimulation. They're designed to stimulate. And girls are little stimulation seekers. They want to be the brightest, shiniest thing in the room and they want to be around the brightest, shiniest thing in the room. (Btw, this is why you don't want to seriously date a girl if the ONLY thing she enjoys in her life and the only thing that matters to her is stimulation. You can never be the brightest shiniest thing forever in all situations). So if you don't know how to use energy, girls will just float away into the breeze and find something bright and shiny that's not you. Basically all naturals can be bright and shiny. They're funny. They're loud. They might even be obnoxious. But it's all energy. Why do you think the loud douchey frat guy gets girls? He might be a douche, but he has energy and he makes himself a shiny object in a sea of less shiny objects. This is important to understand. A lot of naturals get laid a ton with hot girls and they have NOWHERE NEAR the level of game understanding and nuance that even the most basic person reading this post has. All they have is experience starting from grade school on, understanding of sexuality and how sex happens, and enough energy to get them through anything.

    So what do they actually DO? Well, a lot of them are funny. Many of them know how to create a scene. Many of them do things like pick girls up or convince them to make out with each other or start chants for shots. But not all of them do any of those specific things. There are two things concerning energy that almost all of them do:
    1) Create energy with the WAY that they say things. If you say things louder and stretch out your words
    and put more emotion into the way that you say them, that's energy. You can say 'hi' and it has no energy. A natural might ways “Welll HELLLL-OOOOOO there!” That has energy. It's not what he just said, because 'hi' and 'well hello there' are nearly the same thing and if I thought harder I could come up with examples that are exactly the same words. It's how he just said it. If you need energy, just stretch out the words that you say and say them louder. Then calibrate more to putting different emotions and things in it.

    2) Blow out other people's frames with energy. This one's key. You want to know what to do if a girl doesn't play along with your role play? You want to know how to keep a girl's friend from stealing her from you? You want to know how to save a bombed joke? Think about it – does the loud, douchey frat guy have any idea how to handle all these different situations? Well, he's seen them all before because he has experience. But really think about it, a lot of these guys are big dumb animals that get laid – no judgment, I kind of like watching it and I appreciate it for what it is. They don't have 'moves' or calibration out the ass to deal with this stuff. Yet they make it work over and over. How? They have a one-size-fits-all hammer that can deal with all kinds of situations. I call it an “energy frame blowout”. Which is to say that if you don't like the frame she's putting down, just thrown in a sudden and surprising amount of energy in support of your frame and her brain will basically just give up and accept your frame because you just smashed hers with a sledgehammer. Sound brutish and not fun? Only because of how I described it. It's actually scarily easy, works all the time, and is quite fun. And it's exactly the kind of thing that almost all naturals do all the time, and the big dumb animal ones have found they can use it over and over in all situations and it can carry them through to getting laid. Here's an example. I say “Yeah right, that's not your real job. That's a cover because you're secretly a ninja.” [That's not what I actually use, but it's close and I don't want to turn what I say into everyone else's routine. That's not the point of this post.] Now, most girls laugh and say “Yeah, you're right. I am secretly a ninja. Look out.” But some just stare at you like you're mentally retarded. Now what if they do that? A pickup artist is generally witty or nuanced or whatever. Some of them stretch the joke farther until she relents and it catches. But sometimes she's not amused and she walks away. But do you think big dumb douche frat boy does either of those? Of course not! (Btw, I was in a frat. Side note). Anyway, he does something much simpler that is more effective than every pickup trick you've ever learned. He goes “BULL-FUCKING SHIT! You can't get this past me! I saw you climbing out of your window in your full on ninja gear last night, and I know your purse is full of fucking throwing stars. I'm on to you!”

    Now before you think that was a witty response, it's not really. What really happened, which is hard to convey by typing, is that she shrugged off his joke and he just took it to a surprisingly escalated next level where he was loud, he stretched the joke, and he said it with so much energy and certainty that his frame just not only won, but it obliterated hers and she'll certainly give in and play along instead of trying to fight. Trust me, I've done and seen this a hundred times. Her response will almost never be to walk away, or to tell him his joke was lame. If he did it right, which really means he was surprising and his frame and energy were almost forceful, she'll be off balance and she'll go with it. I read once that the brain gets into a slightly hypnotic state when it's used to doing something, and we basically operate on autopilot. If something snaps us out of that state suddenly, our brain scrambles to take back control and in the process it takes the path of least resistance. So, a girl who's out at night and is used to talking to people and flirting is used to rejecting your joke about ninjas if she doesn't like ninjas. She's in slightly autopilot mode. She's not trying to impress you or think of what to say next, she's just socializing. So she shoots down your joke because she doesn't find ninjas funny. She's not being a bitch, she just doesn't like ninjas. If you come back and try to justify it or be wittier, she's used to that and if you do it well she might laugh and if you don't she might leave. What she's not used to having happen is for you to explode with sudden energy and take the joke a step farther in a way that has way more certainty than her shooting down your joke ever did, and that also takes her by surprise. Basically, you're jolting her out of her slightly hypnotic state (keep in mind this is usually earlier in the conversation, too).

    Think of it this way – when you drive somewhere every day, your brain sort of tunes out and you just wind up there. Sometimes you want to go somewhere else, but next thing you know you accidentally drove to work or wherever you're used to going anyway because you tuned out and drove to where you're used to driving to in a semi-hypnotic state. Now, if you're driving your usual drive, and suddenly everyone ahead of you slams on their breaks and comes to a dead halt right in front of you, you snap out of it in an instant and slam on your breaks in a panic. The first thing that comes to your mind is either there's an accident or a narrowly avoided accident ahead of you. What just happened? You were in la-la land letting yourself drive in a semi-hypnotic state, and the next moment in a bit of a panic you're assuming that there's been an accident or there has almost been an accident. But guess what? Maybe Elton fucking John is playing a piano next to the highway and someone just lifted the curtains and the people in front of you freaked out and wanted to watch him play. That might be the reality. If it were, would your brain think that? Of course not, not right away. It thinks “accident” and until proven otherwise, that's your reality – that's what you believe. What that means is, your brain snapped out of hypnosis and took the path of least resistance, which is slamming on the breaks and assuming accident. It didn't have time or resources to think that maybe Elton John is playing a piano.

    Now, if you go on YouTube and search “Derren Brown Dog Track” you'll see a mentalist/magician named Derren Brown getting old women to pay out on losing tickets at a dog track in Britain as though they were winning tickets. What's happening is that those women are doing their job. They do the same thing over and over all day every day. They're in a semi-hypnotic state. Then Derren smacks the window frame forcefully and tells them “That's the dog you want” referring to the losing ticket. When he smacks the window, they're surprised and they snap out of their semi-hypnotic state. Their brain looks for the path of least resistance, which is to go along with what Derren is saying with so much certainty- that the losing dog on the losing ticket he just handed them actually won. And so they pay him. Why am I going to such great lengths to explain this? Because if you got into pickup, then you're probably as far from using big dumb animal levels of energy to blow out other people's frames as possible. It's probably a completely alien concept to you. You probably don't believe me that this might be the greatest tool you'll ever learn in game (though my favorite is eye contact with pauses or proximity). But if you understand the science, you'll see what's happening and why this works almost every time. And why the douchey frat guy gets laid despite his complete lack of all the skills you've so carefully built that may not even be getting you as much success as much as the douche guy.

    So – back to the ninjas. When you have that outburst of sudden energy and forcefullness, you're snaping her out of her semi-hypnotic state of socializing. She's used to shooting down jokes about things she doesn't like, such as ninjas. She thinks she's too cool for ninjas, and she's used to showing guys that she's cooler than them and doesn't care what they think. But when you suddenly jump up 5 notches, in a FUN but very certain way (the fun edge is key), and say “BULL-FUCKING SHIT!” you've just snapped her out of her semi-hypnotic state. Which means what? That her brain is now scrambling to find the path of least resistance to figure out what to do next. Then she hears you saying “You can't get this past me! I saw you climbing out of your window in your full on ninja gear last night, and I know your purse is full of fucking throwing stars. I'm onto you!” You're being fun, and more importantly you're very certain about what your saying. So her slightly surprised/stunned brain takes the path of least resistance and... goes with it! She goes “Yeah, you caught me. I'm a ninja by night, slaying evil doers around the world.” And guess what? That classy New York model who always acts too good for ninja jokes just played right along with you. Pretty awesome right? So now do you see how the big dumb animal jock gets laid? He's not so calibrated and in touch with women that he knows exactly what each woman he talks to wants to laugh about and he can connect and keep them laughing and having fun all night. No way. He knows that really they just want to be carried away by energy and have some sort of fun and if he comes in smashing frames with a hammer and replaces the frame with his own energy and certainty that he can just say whatever he wants and they'll pretty much go with it. What I'm saying is, that type of guy is a one trick pony as you always expected, but he gets the success because he happens to have one trick that works A LOT. And that most people don't have the balls to use.

    Now recall that I said this trick, that I call an “energy frame blowout” is like duct tape. Works on everything. I first learned it from Tyler D. He had a girl's friend trying to pull her away from him in some infield footage. The guy games like a loose cannon, it's awesome. Out of nowhere he throws his arms around the girl he's gaming (who liked him, her friend was just being a wet blanket), and he looks at the friend and goes “Hey! She's mine now. You're done in this town, get the fuck out of here!” And then he cracks a smile. He says it with tons of energy, like way way more energy than they were talking with a second before. He COMPLETELY owns it, he's 110% all in, and then he does it a bit cheekily. And, much to my huge surprise, the friend giggles nervously and LEAVES THEM ALONE. I was like, holy shit! What just happened? So I studied it, and started to get an idea that it wasn't just a fluke. Then I tried it that night. Worked perfectly. Then I started doing it a lot. Worked all the time. Then I started understanding it more. Then I realized that I could use it for other things. Your transition bombs? Who the fuck cares, just throw in some absurd energy and make it work! And guess what? That worked. Then I was day gaming college girls and they would always tell me some boring shit I couldn't turn into an interesting conversation, like how they were going to class and it sucked. So I just started saying whatever they said, but with a bunch of energy and a certain frame. And they would laugh. They would say “I'm going to class” really depressed. I would say “Ohhh. My. Gosh! CLASSSS! How can you contain yourself? You must be thrilled!” and they would giggle and want to talk to me. And that's when I found out this is duct tape. You can use it to change almost any frame. And then I started noticing that the big dumb loud animals who pull girls, especially in college bars, do this over and over as almost their only trick. They've been doing it all along. If you know two tricks, this and eye contact with pauses WILL get you laid. Period.

    Of course there's one catch here. You HAVE to do everything in a way that's congruent. This trick actually breaks the congruence intentionally, but if you don't do it in a way that's still somehow congruent with who you are, it probably won't work. You might have to work to be able to either become congruent with it, or make it congruent with you. But I highly recommend using this.

    All of this is to say you need to stop being in awe of naturals and their mythical abilities, and start seeing that they just all use a few basic, awesome tricks that only they pick up on. That they do them with COMPLETE certainty and with all the mindsets and vibes everyone else in game talks about (fun, masculinity, blah blah). And that they have been doing it all since they were kids so they have so much experience using the same tools over and over that they can do it blindfolded and get laid pretty frequently anyway. Most of them aren't super nuanced, they just happened to find the right tools and get a lot of experience with them.

    Now, you can leave out the energy tricks here and still get laid. But you'll have to use more complicated tricks that will take longer to learn. You'll have to flat out take more time to get better. Intrigue, for instance, basically never uses this energy trick but like I said is at the top. What he does have, is an unbelievable ability to riff on any joke and experience in handling any situation. He's a monster. He's amazing. But that took years and years for him to develop. That's usually what people in game do. And he's excellent at it. I've heard Braddock is much the same, though I've never met him. So your game doesn't have to include that. But you can get through a lot of pain in the ass situations starting this week by using that trick to get yourself out of almost any hole. I know my friends will read this and raise their eyebrows at the notion that I ever use energy, because I'm an often too-low-key guy. But I actually listened to them and learned to use energy, and found that when done at the right time it can be incredible.

    You can also not use eye contact, pauses or proximity and get laid. But you'll have to become much better at either kino escalation, verbal escalation, logistical escalation, or all three. And these are also very nuanced and take a long time. You'll need to learn them anyway (well, verbal isn't necessary – but it's great for texting and very useful), so don't skip it. But you can use eye contact and pauses and proximity starting this week too. You can use them a bit clumsily and they'll STILL work.

    The fact is, there are two different paths to game and they both work, and any of the infinite mixtures between them work, too. There's the “I'm going to be an energetic or interesting shiny object and she'll want to stay around me until we hook up or go on a date route.” There's one LS instructor in particular who's really good at this. He's also really good at the energy frame blowout, and he's really good at verbal sexualization. That's his game. It works. Tyler D usually does things this way, too.
    The other path to game is to turn her on and make her want to have sex with you. Which can be as subtle as eye contact or as overt as telling her you want to fuck her on the bar. Venture and Intrigue do this, for the most part. Though Intrigue is a definite blend.

    The thing is, the second path is more direct. Why get sex/relationships by keeping her around you until it happens? That's a round about way to do things. Doesn't it make sense to get sex/relationships by making her want to have sex with you? (which is also a core feature of relationships, and a key drive for humans)
    If you'll notice, the great guys in game who take the first route, such as Tyler D, have an absolutely immense amount of experience. As do the great guys who take the second route. However, Venture was known for having some of the best game in the world within a short period of time of him first learning game. Ie, in my opinion that route is both more direct, and faster to learn. If you watched Intrigue carefully, you would see that the times when he's using the first route is largely him just having fun and making her have fun, but his use of the second route is usually why the girls he talks to want to go home with him. Of course, that's my perspective from watching and he'll be the first to correct that and add nuance to it.
    Regardless, it is my opinion that you should learn to use SEXUAL TENSION to get success in game. Not humor, not interesting games or magic tricks. You should learn to make her want to jump your bones, and then just get good at keeping her around and taking care of logistics.

    Do humor and energy and role plays have a place? ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY. Because remember what I said – girls will LEAVE if you're not fun. If you're not a shiny object in a sea of shining objects at the bar, the girl WILL LEAVE. And, if you take things too seriously (which I have a problem with when I'm not in a good state), the girl will take escalating with you seriously. And that's bad. Having sex with you should be “just a little fun” which I'll get to later. You want to keep everything “just a little fun.”

    Which brings me to my personal model. Mystery had his 9 steps or whatever. LS has the triad model. Blah blah. They're just ways of understanding what happens in game. It's necessary to be able to picture things in your mind. But I think, and this is something else Intrigue helped me learn, that the simpler you can see things, the more effectively and quickly you'll learn and implement them. So my model is very simple: Energy is a river. You catch her up in the current and sweep her away. As long as there's enough energy present, she'll keep getting swept down the river. If the energy drops, she'll swim to the shore and get out and look for a better river. But the river isn't the point. Sexual tension is the point. You want her to stay in the current of your energy to keep her around long enough to build sexual tension and to logistically escalate.
    Said another way, you get her to talk to you and stay around you using energy. You need at least enough energy to keep her there. But the energy is just keeping her there. You have to DO something to get laid or to get a date down the line with her. And the most effective thing to do is build sexual tension. What happens if she really really wants you, but you don't have sex that night? Well, if you get her number, she's very likely to still want to see you another time because she wanted you so badly.
    Said yet another way, you use energy to buy yourself enough time to build sexual tension and logistically escalate to the point of an SNL. Or a solid number if the SNL doesn't happen. That's it, really.

    The only other thing you need is for her to be comfortable. You don't need to build any comfort. But if you make her UNcomfortable, she will leave. We'll talk more about this later. But basically all you need to know is that energy keeps her around, making her uncomfortable makes her leave, and sexual tension does most of the work for you. How's that for an easier to remember model? Keep her in the current of your energy river, build sexual tension, logistically escalate, and don't make her uncomfortable.
    Sometimes you might need to frame properly – a topic that Captain Jack and Intrigue are amazing at and you should check out Intrigue's lounge posts for logistics and framing, as well as Captain Jack's audio. But even if you don't know the first thing about this, if you have the energy river, sexual tension, logistical escalation and don't make her uncomfortable you'll do quite well.

    Hopefully that makes it clear why naturals who often are no genius and don't know the first thing about psychology can get laid like crazy. It's not that complicated! They just get it in the right way, use the right tools, and have the experience to put the simple pieces together.

    And if you're wondering why I'm so big on sexual tension, let me say this: I have a theory that if you build up enough sexual tension, things like isolating the girl will either happen naturally as both of you realize you need to go somewhere else in the bar, or the girl will take care of it for you. I just had a girl drag me from my couch into my bedroom because she decided things were too much for the couch. Those kinds of things happen with enough build up.
    The point is, I always forget to isolate. It's a weakness. But sexual tension can be so powerful that I'm playing around with trying to build it to the point that the girl feels uncomfortable standing in the middle of the bar with you any more and isolating to the corner or a table becomes the only thing that makes sense any more.
    Another example is how often Intrigue has girls that go tell their friends that they're leaving and take care of the obstacles for him. He often doesn't handle shit. Or they call him up 30 minutes after the bar closes and tell him to come over. He builds up so much tension that the girls do the work for him. That's real. Happens a lot. So if you're thinking that all my talk about sexual tension is overblown, I promise you it's your loss to think that.


    Part 1.5: “Content vs Energy communicators – why naturals are naturals”

    There's a dang good chance that this, or sexual tension is why you're stuck. At the current point in time for me, this is what I'm struggling with. I would say that the guys who have spent a lot of time gaming are probably stuck on one of four things:
    1) Sexual tension
    2) Content vs Energy communication
    3) Being free/unstifled
    4) Having the proper inner dialogue, certainty, entitlement, etc. to get what they want

    So what is a content communicator vs. an energy communicator? Why is it so likely that this is where you're stuck? Why does this make naturals naturals?

    Well, a content communicator is someone who has “conversations” about interesting topics which stimulate the mind. The words matter. What they're talking about matters. If the person they're talking to is a “good conversationalist” or “has interesting things to talk about” matters. I would bet heavily that basically everyone reading this is a natural content communicator.
    Have you ever thought “That girl didn't have anything interesting to talk about”? Or “She was a bad conversationalist”? Or “She was boring”? Etc. I have. That means you're a content communicator, and, more unfortunately, it means that you're expecting the girls you find attractive to be content communicators – but they're often not, and it's a hang up for you.

    Many girls who are out in a club or bar either A) Lean towards energy communication, or B) Might be content communicators, but they're out to have fun and they want to energy communicate for the night. What's an energy communicator? Or what is energy communication?
    An energy communicator is someone who doesn't really care what they're talking about, what is being said, etc. - they just want to have stimulation and excitement conveyed through whatever they're talking about. They don't really fucking care WHAT you say. It's all about the ENERGY that you convey when you say it. Not energy is, in typing speak, “Hello”. Energy is “Heelllllllloooooo!!” Same word, just said louder and longer. For an energy communicator, words are like tortilla chips. They don't matter. The point is just to scoop the dip into your mouth. The dip being energy in this case.
    There's a sliding scale of balance in people between energy communication and content communication. Most girls are at least around fifty-fifty. If you go to a lounge where girls are looking to be around rich, interesting guys with good jobs – you're probably finding girls that know how to content communicate and at least value that. Nonetheless, they will almost never be getting excited about going home with a guy unless he can do some good energy communication with them. Your occasional dorky, science-y girl might be more of a content communicator than an energy communicator. But just like girls are more emotionally driven than men, they're also more content communicators than men.
    Then you have your extreme energy communicators. These are your club girls. These are your college girls that go out 4 nights a week, love sex, and rule the scene. They have a tendency to dance on bars, yell and shriek and giggle, love it when big muscly guys twice their size suddenly pick them up, etc. They very well might have bleached blonde hair. They dress in tight dresses. They don't “have a lot to say”. If you find those girls intimidating, then you almost certainly have tried to content communicate with them and they acted like you were a fucking weirdo and you built up a wariness of them. Guess what – if those are the girls you find attractive, you need to STOP HOPING THAT THEY HAVE 'SOMETHING TO SAY' and start realizing that you need to start MAKING NOTHING FUN. It's on you. They've existed since before you were born. They're not changing. If you want those girls, you need to speak their language. Generally speaking, the more attractive a girl is, the less she worries about developing her content communication abilities, the more she enjoys the energy she gets out of flirting and being wanted, and the more she shifts towards energy communication. Want hotter girls? Learn to energy communicate.

    Sadly, this is one of the least expressed or possibly least understood subjects in pickup. We talk about the emotionally driven side of things all the time, but very little effort goes into the energy communication vs content communication side of pickup knowledge. The fact is, you're not “In State” - you're “energy communicating” because you shook off the sleepy rust of sitting around at your computer or at work or talking with all your content communicator friends all day, and you started putting some energy into what you're saying. You became more free with your energy. You started to put, as I like to say, some “spin” on your words.

    Why are naturals naturals? Almost always because they see two things in communication that you largely overlook in your natural state – they see emotional threads, not logical 'conversational' threads. And they energy communicate, where you content communicate. This is the second part of why your “big dumb douchey jocks” get girls. First, they know how to use energy to set their frames, second, they don't have a lot to say but they do communicate via energy. Third they're commanding, confident, and have “swagger” as many girls would say. And fourth, they tend to be well built and good looking. But in all honesty, it's the first three – and particularly the first two – that lead your fratty, jocky type guys to success. Girls will tell you they like their confidence, but really I would argue that's the third factor, and it's down a level in importance. As for your true naturals, the ones with serious success and more nuance, they almost all are energy communicators. If you know any, look through their Facebook posts.

    I know one such guy. His name is Nick, he's in a band back in Colorado. One day he tried to count how many girls he slept with, and lost track in the 90's. The vast majority of these over 90 girls were plenty hot enough that even my very picky tastes would have been proud of them. I kind of don't want to give him is due credit because he doesn't know a drop of pickup and because he works a great social circle and being in a band pretty hard, plus he's good looking... But the fact is, he speaks in terms of emotional threads, he is an energy communicator, he builds sexual tension and understands girls and sexuality at a high level. He's a natural. Let's take a look at some of his Facebook posts, which will demonstrate the emotional communication style (btw, he is outdoorsy, likes B horror movies, and he has a sarcastic sense of humor. Anything negative he might say, people think “Ohhh, Nick!” He's not a negative person at all, and he just owns anything quirky he likes):
    "If it is summertime and the sun is out AND it's a beautiful day - WHICH IT IS - and I get a candy crush saga invite from you, I can only assume one thing: YOU'RE A LOSER." (69 likes on that, 13 comments)
    “"Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it." -Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves” (12 likes, 2 comments)
    "After I took this picture, this strutting, male blue grouse attacked me!! Totally salted his game!" (showing a picture of a grouse in the mountains, which is like a mountain turkey) (14 likes, 1 comment)
    "My baddass cousin Shannon. Cliffs. Warpaint." (showing a pic of his cousin edging a long a cliff with paint on her face) (13 likes, 3 comments)
    "Dan auditioned for Kevin Bacon's role in Tremors 5, but he lost, to Kevin Bacon. #theyreunderthegoddamnground" (showing a pic of his brother Dan next to a truck in flannel) (65 likes, 3 comments)
    “Today, a full-moon falls on a Friday the 13th. It's a rare occasion so it would be best to AVOID the following: camping, summer camps, lakes by the name of "Crystal," any open bodies of water, cabins in any wooded area, sorority parties, fraternity parties, ANY PARTIES, college campuses, creaky old mansions, castles, Mexican strip-clubs, abandoned nuclear facilities, graveyards, ancient burial grounds, fossil pits, white people, caves or low-lights places, lower-downtown Denver, ANY CITY and certainly children. Happy Friday the 13th everyone!” (103 likes, 5 comments) [I've never gotten 100 likes on anything... Have you? Ha.]
    "A great way to take the edge off is to use a palm or belt-sander." (22 likes, 5 comments) [Have you ever said anything that quirky and gotten 22 likes? Not me]
    "(Fake sleeping at the bar). Missin' these two jelly beans like crazy!" (Picture of two girls 'sleeping' on his shoulders at the bar) (13 likes, 1 comment)
    "You'd use something called shampoo right? But what if it was called, SHAMPOOPOO? What then? Huh? Would you use it then? Would ya? I didn't think so" (29 likes, 11 comments)
    "How many ice cream sandwiches do you have to eat in order to stop feeling feelings?" (54 likes, 10 comments)

    That's energy communication, represented in text. Notice the sudden all caps words. The descriptive word choice. Quirky statements that often don't mean much. Girls like everything he posts like crazy, but not because ANY of it is interesting. That's a natural. When he speaks to women, they get good ENERGY from what he says. They don't give a crap if he talks about dinosaurs or eating ice cream or horror movies or Mexican strip clubs. They get energy and emotion from him. Then they stick around him. Then he builds sexual tension. Then he works out logistics (largely with after parties for his band). Bing bang boom.

    Now, WHY is energy communication so important?
    Because this is what happens:
    Step 1 – Girl decides if she wants to talk to you at all. When you were new, this is when they would turn their backs to you, scowl and ignore you, run away, etc.
    Step 2 – Girl decides if she wants to talk to you for a minute. This is where she might listen to one thing that you say, then look at her friend and make big “help me out eyes” or giggle strangely and turn away
    Step 3 – Girl decides if she wants to FLIRT with you.
    Now, this is where it gets slightly complicated. In old school game (a la Mystery, Magic Bullets, etc.) you would hook the entire group by being INTERESTING. But the girl had STILL not decided if she wanted to flirt with you. In the more normal direct or situational approach most people use now, the next step is if the girl wants to FLIRT with you. This means she decides to let you turn her on, to let sexuality be a possible thing with you, to be playful with you. Captain Jack says this is where she “decides if she wants to play the game” with you. In Captain Jack's view, if she decides to, she basically decides to BE ON YOUR TEAM, and then two of you then see if you can play the game together and get to the end. Often you'll see a girl that might have been bitchy to 5 other guys before you suddenly start playing along and give you a different side. Or you might get blown out by a girl to watch her seemingly be a completely different person with another guy. That's when she decides to play along, to be on the guy's team, to flirt.
    This is complicated. If you're talking to a girl who at least KNOWS how to content communicate, she might hang in there with you for a bit. She might keep content communicating and give you a chance, or just be nice/polite. That does NOT mean that she has decided to flirt with you. Unless she's a heavy content communicator and she's looking for certain logical things in a man (a guy that likes to travel, a smart guy, a guy that has commonalities with her, a guy with money), content communication is unlikely to get her to decide to flirt with you. UNLESS your content communication is funny (standard jokes, role plays, whatever). BUT, even that only works IF she enjoys some level of content communication.
    That last part probably got a bit confusing, right? If you're role playing about running off to Vegas and getting married, that's energy and funny right? It should work for an energy communicator, right? Not always. Think about it – what carries the energy in that role play? The actual content. Running off to VEGAS to get MARRIED. It's the content that's got the energy. That's also what routines are. Content that carries energy. Now, you could DELIVER the role play with energy, and then you would be energy communicating. But you could also energy communicate anything. “I just went to the store” - boring content. “I. Just. Went. To the STORE!” energy communicated via same content (maybe weird in that case, but still energy).

    If a girl is a pure energy communicator, like your bleach blonde, out 5 nights a week, dances on the bar girl. Or the college girl that rules the going out scene. She might not think that your joke about getting married in Vegas is particularly funny. In fact, she might not think that most types of CONTENT are that funny, and they might not evoke a lot of emotion. Instead, she probably doesn't care a whole lot WHAT the content is, and she wants to get the ENERGY from your communication. You can literally say almost nothing and win more often than if you said the perfect thing. After all, how many times have you watched those girls go home with a really intelligent looking guy who appears to say all the right things? Not many...
    In fact, when day gaming the college energy girls, my best transition is to follow them saying they just came from class with, literally “Class! OH WOW, don't hurt yourself! That sounds WAYYY too exciting”. And they fucking giggle and open up. Any witty comment I've ever tried using bombs more often than not. They either think that my funny, witty content is weird and random (two things not cool in college), or it doesn't vibe with them.

    So what am I trying to point out? That it's energy communication that's going to get the girl to decide to flirt with you, the vast majority of time. In fact, you might not need anything all that impressive to hook vastly more really attractive girls. You just need to start properly using HOW you communicate to hit the energy they want.

    The second aspect of this, is that there's a HOOKING TIPPING POINT. This is something I just realized, and it will really make all the difference in your ability to learn how to hook. It's a new thing for me, so I'm still in the beginning of gaining from it.

    Basically, most energy communicators are going to give you nothing back at some point early on. If you try to ask them questions, pretty soon you're going to get a pretty crappy answer. Or they're going to stare at you blankly. This is going to create a tipping point.

    If you're trying to be a content communicator, you're going to get tripped up. You asked “What do you do for fun” and she said “I don't know” or “Nothing” or “Go out” or “What do you mean.” You didn't get your content, which was what you were banking on to take another step, and now you hesitate and stumble. That introduces a slight moment of awkwardness, she sees your uncertainty, she decides you're not fun, or you're awkward, or you don't know what you're doing. The set might not be done at that point, but now she's going to see everything you do as try hard and awkward, and it's going to require plowing until you hopefully hit something awesome to get back.

    HOWEVER, if she gives you nothing and you just roll with it and make it fun. OR, if you do what Boulderrr does and just tell stories and make comments and move forward without questions or any chance for her to drop the ball, then you can avoid getting burned by the hooking tipping point. The basic effect is that when you've just popped up in her world, if there's a sign that you don't know how to handle something, she'll just generalize you ask awkward. And if you've got some game experience, you know that once she thinks you're awkward, she views everything from that lens. Good luck hooking, you better be a plowing pro.

    How do you make energy out of nothing? Let's say that you didn't go the Boulderrr route and you asked her a question, like “what do you do for fun?” And she said “I don't know.” You can say “Errr, okay” or you can do what I used to/sometimes still do “Do you play sports or anything?” digging for content, OR you can say “Ahhhh. So you're one of those girls that's fucking fun to party with then. PERRRFECT. You better make my night exciting!” To which she might let you down again “errr” at which point you can bust out a burst of energy “Bullshit, I can tell you know how to party!” Which might not be awesome, but it's going to take you one step forward instead of starting you on the slippery slope backwards.

    What causes her to decide that she wants to flirt with you? It's a combination of bringing her energy, showing that you're an energy communicator, and having a bit of an edge. Remember, she wants to flirt with someone who will eventually make her want to rip his clothes off. If you don't have some form of edge leading in that direction... Forget about it.

    Why is this step so important? Because once she decides to flirt with you, she'll allow you to build sexual tension and she'll HELP you out, rather than acting completely unaffected by what's going on.
    Ie, once she decides to flirt with you, she'll hold eye contact, allow you to speak straight into her ear, let you get proximity, etc. She'll let you turn her on. Before that, she'll very subtly block you, often, and you'll be at a standstill. Which is what I got stuck on for quite some time, and still often do, because I figured out the sexual tension side of things before the hooking (though most people are opposite in pickup).

    In effect, if you can open with some edge. Transition with energy that still is consistent with that edge, and do some energy communication, and pretty quickly she should want to flirt with you. Then you're using proximity, talking right in her ear, and eye contact, along with pauses and slow speech to turn her on. Then you're getting to a place where you can feel it's on, and you can isolate her, then “go for a walk” then “go watch a movie” or “after party” or whatever.


    Part 2: “It's Just a Little Fun”

    You've got to understand the vibe that you need in game. Period. And you have to understand the girl's point of view. And you have to understand that different girls are different and over time you can mesh with more types of them more easily.

    It all should start with a simple phrase - “It's just a little fun.”

    When a girl goes out, if she's going out to hang with her girls completely sober or to get fucked in the ass because that's what she loves, she's 95% of the time thinking of it as “It's just a little fun.” The girl that loves anal and is looking for it tonight, guess what? She thinks of last night when she got fucked in the ass by some other guy as her just “having a little fun.” With the rare exception of some girls who want a strong guy to be serious and powerful and blah blah, but those girls are rare. And most of them will vibe with some form of the “it's just a little fun” mindset too. At the same time, the girl who's never gone home with a guy from the bar and is drinking water and just wants to laugh with her friends. Or maybe is just standing there stone faced. She's in the club because she too “just wants to have a little fun.” Even if she's not having it right now. Basically, by and large EVERY girl you'll run into just wants to have a little fun. And to them, sex is just a little fun.

    Sex to the girls you're talking to is like making out behind the bleachers was in high school. They want to be a bit discrete about it because other people, particularly guys and their guy friends, judge them for having sex. But to them, it's just a little fun.
    I'll go into this more in a later section.

    So. When you're going out, you're going out to “just have a little fun.” Period. You want to “just have a little fun” joking with your friends you're out with. If you're out alone, you want to “just have a little fun” joking with and talking to random people, guys or girls. When you're talking to a girl, you want to “just have a little fun” talking to her. When you're making out with her, it's “just a little fun.” When you're pulling her into a taxi and being the strong, masculine leader who is very sexy and that she wants to be whisked away by... It's still “just a little fun.” You're basically playing the “sexy masculine guy who whisks me into a cab and then fucks me tonight” game, which is, to her, “just a little fun.” Sounds a bit contradictory to the male brain, perhaps, but that's her view and it needs to be yours.

    When you're pulling her panties off? It's still “just a little fun.” Even if you're being rough in bed, still “just a little fun.”

    I promise, this one mindset/attitude will go a LONG way to helping you if you don't have it already.

    I know from vast personal experience that if you have a hint of seriousness, you're not going to get anywhere (and by that I don't mean drive, persistence, masculinity, leadership, etc. I mean SERIOUS DEMEANOR/attitude). Some nights I'm not in the right mood/state and I get too serious. Doesn't go anywhere.

    It's just a little fun.

    Additionally, some girls might be in the state of mind of fending off guys. They might be in the state of mind that the fact that guys keep coming up to them trying to fuck them is annoying. They might be looking at sex and flirting and everything as serious in the moment you go up to them. That's not what they want, they prefer “just a little fun” but a girl's state is responsive to her surroundings and what's happening that night. Maybe she's not in the “it's just a little fun” state when you go up to her. But I PROMISE you she would rather be. So guess what? It's your job to go up to her and PUT her into that state. That state needs to be so strong in you, that you put her into it.

    Once you put her into the “it's just a little fun” state, she'll be far more compliant and things will go a lot farther a lot more easily and with a lot more enjoyment. So even if you approach a girl who looks like she's being a stone-faced bitch right now, YOU need to be thinking “it's just a little fun” so powerfully that you get her into that state. Almost every girl is capable of getting there if you're powerful enough in that view. And it's not only where your head should be at, but it's where you want her head to be at if whatever's going on for her before you approach has her head somewhere else.

    Basically we've already talked about what you need to be seriously good. If you can learn to dominate at using energy to keep girls around as you build sexual tension, if you can never make them uncomfortable, and if you can see it all as “just a little fun,” you're eventually going to have game that's in the ball park of what you've always wanted.
    But there's a lot more to talk about that will help you along the way!


    Part 3: Smoothness – The ignored secret of game

    Everyone talks about congruence. They're absolutely right. Without congruence, good luck ever having much success. BUT, there's more to game than congruence. Congruence is the only absolutely required piece of the puzzle, but if you want to be good you'll need more than congruence. You'll need SMOOTHNESS.

    What is smoothness? Well, almost all of us know. Kind of. We have a feel. But if you're going to do it, you either have to have a great feel for it and you have to be able to clearly picture it (which if you've gamed enough you probably do). OR, you have to understand it thoroughly enough that you can start to picture it clearly and pick it up over time.

    So, to help out anyone that only kind of knows what I mean, I'll start by saying what smoothness is. If you know exactly what it is, read anyway because I'll get more advanced in just a couple paragraphs.

    Smoothness has 5 parts – Congruence is a PART of smoothness. That's why I say you need more than congruence. Here are the parts:
    1) Congruence
    2) Being congruent to the history of the interaction. Another way to say this is that things should flow smoothly from one to the next
    3) Calibration. This is in terms of knowing what is appropriate and what isn't given the circumstance, and that includes what you say, when you say it, how you say it, your subcoms, the energy you say things with, etc.
    4) Having smooth motions and speech
    5) Being very comfortable. Loose even.

    Why am I talking so much about being smooth? You're probably sick of it and wondering if I'll get to the good stuff any time soon. Believe me, this IS the good stuff.


    Because if you NAIL being smooth, you will almost NEVER get blown out unless a friend comes and grabs the girl or she legitimately has to go, or she just isn't attracted to you. But assuming she's attracted an nothing external happens, if you're smooth, you're not going to get blown out very often. If that sounds good to you, then this is critically important.

    The smoother you get, the less you get blown out. And if you're like me, you know that if a girl spends long enough around you, eventually she's going to fucking love you. And that means happy endings all around. Long story short, if you're smooth and can handle interruptions and can build sexual tension, she'll be around long enough that you'll have success.

    I've always been good with strippers. The reason is as simple as the fact that I don't feel any rush or pressure with them because they have to talk to you at least for a minute, which means I'm very smooth, which means they stay long enough to like me, which means I succeed. Simple.

    Smooth is one of the most underrated aspects of game. Period. You want to be more successful? Go out and try to build more sexual tension and be smoother. Your results will get better every night, guaranteed.

    Let's go into the five pieces of smoothness at more length:

    1) Congruence. Saying things, doing things, wearing things, and having subcommunications that all line up. A girl will think something's “off” and will “leave” if the various levels of information she's getting from you aren't in line with each other. Think of an emo kid in high school. They're nice as fuck and they're giant pussies, but they're dressed like a rock star out to serial kill someone. And what does everyone call them? “Weird.” Why? What is weird? Weird is unusual, but not in a good way. Of course they're unusual. But some of the 'popular' kids in high school who call the emo kids weird have posters of rockstars dressed nearly identical to the emo kids hanging in their room. Odd, right? Not really. The rockstar is congruent, the emo kid isn't. Thus, rockstar is cool and acceptable, emo kid isn't. Not to judge emo people, but I'm being realistic.

    Anyway, most of you reading this know what congruence is. More or less. But you don't know how deep it runs, and it might be seriously in your way. Especially because as your game evolves, everything about you needs to evolve or you become incongruent.

    Making everything congruent is a big topic. It requires defining yourself. I wrote more about it, but moved it to the bottom of this list so that if flows better...

    2) Being congruent to the history of the interaction.
    This is different than normal congruence. It means if you came in with a goofy opener and then pulled some serious routine afterward and then talked about your grandmother, each thing was not congruent with what you did last. That doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't switch gears, but the pieces should FIT together. They should be congruent. As I mentioned, things should flow smoothly from one thing to the next.

    If you jump around and start doing things that make no sense after what you just did, she'll feel you're “all over the place” and just leave. You're not being smooth. You're implying you don't know who you are, but rather you're trying to do cool stuff to reach some outcome. You're going to make her feel weird about the interaction, which means uncomfortable, which means her leaving.

    One of the cornerstones of being “smooth” is knowing who you are, how you act, making sense, and letting everything just flow together in a way that feels natural and comfortable. Jumping all over the map is NOT that. It's not being smooth.
    It's possible to jump all over the map and be congruent. Like Carrot Top. He's so all over the map that it's ridiculous. And it's congruent with who he is and his act. But while it's hilarious, very few girls want to go home with him because he's not being smooth. It's like he's not sure what to be. It's a hilarious act (or annoying, depending on your viewpoint), but he could easily make someone laugh their ass off and still have them walk away the moment the act is over.

    This was a serious problem with old school Mystery style game. It was a prized skill to be able to cut threads and say whatever you wanted and just own it. I used to have all these 'routines' that I liked and I would jump from one to the next. I was good enough at it that it was congruent. I came off as a wild card, interesting guy. Because it was congruent when I got it right, it worked sometimes. But smooth it was not. Which meant that a lot of girls just didn't like the vibe and left. Or other times I had to fight my own lack of smoothness with that approach and do twice the work to keep her from leaving.
    When I started gaming in a more direct and 'natural' frame, my old habits of jumping from one thing to the next at my whim didn't make as much sense. I was no longer throwing a crazy mishmash of routines, I was just hopping from goofy jokes to serious sexual tension to comfort and back again. Each thing might have individually been congruent to the various parts of my personality, but they were NOT congruent to the history of the interaction. They weren't smooth. It didn't flow. As a result, girls picked up something even I didn't. I didn't know who the fuck I wanted to be or present myself as, per se, and I was just doing things to try to get somewhere in the interaction. And they would just leave even if they were practically dying laughing (yes, that happened more than once).

    Even worse, I couldn't stop losing girls in the transition for the life of me. I would come in direct, nail my opener, get clear and strong attraction. Then I would transition and lose it like every time. Everyone in game talked about how transitioning was basic and easy. I could open great. I could close a girl who was interested really well. I could escalate and logistically escalate so-so. But I couldn't transition to save my fucking life. If I got through the transition I was just about thanking my lucky stars. Meanwhile tons of gorgeous girls that I opened wonderfully just left for seemingly no reason and I never even got a chance. Why would they just suddenly leave when they were a second ago so receptive to a very direct opener?

    When I realized the answer, it was so easy and obvious that it almost hurt. My transition wasn't congruent with my opener. I went from “You're stunning” in a very confident way right into “how's your night going?” It was a jarring jump. I was also not leading the conversation, which is another problem we'll talk about later. But the real problem was all the attraction I had just generated by owning the crap out of this powerful direct opener with heavy eye contact and perfect unflinching subcoms and posture was immediately thrown out the window when I transitioned into something that wasn't congruent at all to what I just opened with. Basically, they were thinking “I liked the guy that just opened me, but now there's someone completely different talking to me and I don't like it/it's weird/that opening line must've been some pickup line he put on as a fake front.” And they left.
    All I really had to do was make my transition CONGRUENT with my opener, make one flow more smoothly into the next, and I was golden. That and not look to her to lead the conversation on my transition. Simple.

    Bottom line, everything should flow smoothly from one thing to the next. Everything should be congruent. You can jump topics or switch gears, but make it congruent. Don't be crazy abrupt. Act like a normal person who knows how to socialize, but is just abnormally fucking awesome.

    3) Calibration.
    What is appropriate and what isn't given the circumstance, and that includes what you say, when you say it, how you say it, your subcoms, the energy you say things with, etc.

    This is a simple concept, really, but just comes with lots and lots of experience. This is something naturals will have over you until you've gamed enough. But any social being usually has more of it than they use, too. In some cases you also need to re-calibrate. What you think is inappropriate might be something you could completely get away with if you own it right. Bottom line, you need to know what is acceptable and unacceptable in certain circumstances and contexts with certain girls. And you need to know how to MAKE things acceptable by doing them the right way, owning them right, framing them right.

    The simplest level of calibration would be something like not talking about fucking a girl in the ass as you day game her at the salad bar in Whole Foods. Duh. A nuanced level of being calibrated is using the right energy to say something so that she'll go along with it instead of rejecting it. For instance, if you try to use an energy frame blowout and you use half as much energy as you should have, it might not work at all. That doesn't mean that it doesn't work, it means that you weren't calibrated on how to use it.

    In terms of smoothness, it means that a smooth guy never says the wrong thing at the wrong time. And he doesn't say the right thing the wrong way. He knows how to make everything “fit”, how to keep it flowing.

    It's often better if you think about being calibrated in terms of being “smooth” because most people can picture that better.

    4) Having smooth motions and speech
    This is something the vast majority of people are NOT aware of. It tends to develop over time in guys that game. However, I have an Italian friend who's been in the US for 20 years and still has the same accent he arrived with. In other words, some people just do not develop better speech over time. It's outside their awareness. Most people don't automatically develop better movements over time.

    If you're not consciously aware of these things, your speech may or may not develop and your movements likely won't. The end result will be that you will never be as smooth as you could be, and this may VERY WELL be a huge part of what holds you back.

    Basically, your speech should have soft edges more like French than like Spanish. It should also have a slowwww pace. (Except when you're being energetic or making jokes).
    Your motions should also be slow (someone once said like you're under water) and NEVER jerky. They should also show a masculine strength. Which sometimes means not overly delicate or controlled. More loose, less precise. Never quick or jerky.
    You shouldn't twitch, fidget, move too rapidly, be physically all over the place, or things like that. Unless maybe you're telling a story or something.

    These things aren't smooth. You could be the pimp of pimps, but if you speak too quickly, or pronounce things with hard edges or move quickly and all over the place, you're going to make her uncomfortable. Then you might get laid still, but you're fighting with one hand tied behind your back as you try to make up for it.

    One note here – it's better to be congruent than it is to move and speak slowly and smoothly. If you can't pull it off in a way that's congruent with who you are, don't force it. You should still learn to be smoother in how you speak and move over time. Twitchy and fast speech are never good, no matter how congruent. But for some people, moving and speaking like they're under water may never make sense. There's an LS instructor I know who is congruent with being faster paced. It would hurt him to try to slow down too much. But he's still not twitchy or fidgety, and his fast paced speech isn't full of hard edges like arabic or something. So he's still a bit smoother.

    Anyway, for the vast majority of you, you need to slow down your movements, get rid of unnecessary movements and fast movements, speak more slowly, and smooth our your pronunciation.

    We'll talk about it more later, but Harvey Specter from the TV show Suits is a great example. If you go to Project Free TV - Watch all your favorite tv shows and movies online free and search for Suits and watch a couple episodes, pay attention to how the character Mike talks to Harvey and spits out his words twice as fast. He also makes twice as many small, quick movements. And if each of them said something like “testosterone”, Mike (the low value character) would also pronounce the t's in the word much harder and more harshly than Harvey. Harvey would let the t's roll of his tongue softer. As a result, Harvey comes across as the high value, smooth pimp. He might be forceful, but he's the kind of guy that makes women feel comfortable. While Mike would make women feel nervous. He's not smooth.

    NOTE: You might break the smoothness of your speech and motions in order to throw in a joke or be high energy. But it should still be congruent with who you are. It might not exactly flow from the last thing you did, but it should be congruent with everything you did already in the interaction. It should be calibrated.

    5) Being very comfortable

    You should act like you're in your house. Like everything is exactly on your terms, exactly how it should be. You should have good posture, but your shoulders should be loose, not tight. Your movements should be loose.

    The way you speak and what you do should be loose. Like it's no big deal. Like you don't give a fuck what happens next, because what's happening right now is exactly what should be happening right now. Remember, “it's all just a little fun” - and if that's true, why would you ever be uncomfortable?

    Basically, you should act like everything's easy for you. Tyler D says you should move through the world like everything's easy for you. That makes people comfortable. You're not trying. You don't care. You have no agenda. You're not uncomfortable, so why should they be?

    Basically, your discomfort will rub off on her and she'll be uncomfortable. Remember, if she's uncomfortable, she leaves. Maybe even while laughing her head off, leaving you confused.

    But your comfort rubs off on her too. Be so comfortable that you make her comfortable. We had a natural friend in San Diego who said that a girl told him she really loved him because he was just so comfortable about everything. That's being smooth.

    Defining yourself. Making sure you're fully congruent:
    I'm not kidding when I say everything you say, everything you do, everything you wear AND your subcoms should all line up. If you go to a bootcamp and come out the other side dressing like a rockstar, saying goofy jokes that used to be funny in kindergarten but get giggles in bars, moving frantically, and speaking too fast... You might think you're now a pickup artist, if one that needs some practice. Really you're incongruent as fuck. You can't dress like a rockstar and then make jokes from kindergarten unless you have a rare personality that makes those two thins line up (it's possible). But it's basically impossible to do those two things and then also talk too fast and move in a quick, fidgety manner. Rockstars move slowly, intentionally. They're in no hurry. So it all doesn't make sense when put together. End result? Weird. Girls will leave when you talk to them.

    Now, this post isn't for the just-out-of-bootcamp guy who's trying to change everything up and is that out of whack. So I don't want to bore you with talking about that extreme, it's not useful to you. However, you VERY MUCH need to worry about congruence. If you're thinking “No, I'm totally congruent, that's not my problem” then it is your problem, unless you've carefully sat down and pieced out everything you say, every way you move, everything you wear and made sure it all adds up. Almost no one does this, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that your congruence is probably not your strongest point for you, even if it's not a weak point either.
    Basically, every line you say, every routine you do or don't use, the very way you move, smile, stand. The pace you speak at. Everything your wearing, it should all add up. It should all be in line. It should all be congruent.

    When I sat down and evaluated everything I did, I realized that I liked to sometimes say goofy jokes. But most of the time I used other types of humor, or powerful framing, or strong eye contact. Guess what? Those two weren't congruent with each other. I realized that sometimes what I wore didn't make sense with what I talked about. I realized that the very way I moved and spoke didn't add up frequently with the things I said.
    Fuck. I realized I was popular in high school, I thought of myself as a congruent person who didn't have to worry about anything... And yet I was incongruent all over the board.

    Don't think it's a big deal to be so highly congruent? It is. If you don't think it's a big deal, then I guarantee this is holding you back.
    Basically what happens is that if you're incongruent, girls just get this feeling like something's either off, or you're just not the real deal. It's usually subconscious. They might say that you're not their type, or you're weird, or whatever. They're actually feeling that not everything about you adds up and lines up, but it comes out as them just feeling things are 'off.' They don't need any more reason than that, they don't have to define it, they just feel it.
    Here's the fucked up part. They might even be laughing and enjoying what you're doing when they leave! They might even be enjoying your presence, but leave anyway! And you're confused, wondering

    Basically I started revamping my game to get to the next level at congruence. I thought about what my favorite vibe is. When I'm most on, when I'm having the most fun, when I'm on fire – what does it look like? What do I feel like? What do I say? How do I move?

    Then I explored that more. What would I add to it? Basically, I figured out what the ideal me is. What I would most like to be. To simplify, I thought “At my best, am I a rockstar? Am I Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man? Am I Will Smith in Fresh Prince? Am I George Clooney? Johnny Depp?” I literally wrote out and defined my best self. My best vibe. Who I am when I'm at my best, my favorite. And the things that I would also like that to entail.

    I defined it carefully for a reason. I needed to build all of my congruence from there.

    How do you know what you should and shouldn't say in order to be congruent, if you have no idea what you're being congruent to? How would you know how you should or shouldn't dress if you have no idea what you need to dress congruent to? How do you know your ideal energy level? Basically, if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to be, or what the best you is, you're inherently going to have congruence issues.

    Think back to childhood. There was a point where a lot of people started defining themselves. Jock. Nerd. Cheerleader. Whatever. Generally they joined stereotypes and followed around. They built an identity around it and became more congruent.
    Now think about the popular guy that got all the girls. He not only defined himself, but he took it a step further. He had his own, unique style. He held to it. He was a leader in it. He wore things that made sense with his role, but took it another step further. He acted in a way that made sense with his role, but took it a step further. If he was the quarterback of the football team, he dressed and acted like a jock, but he dressed a little more uniquely, a little more 'him' than the other guys on the team. If he was in a band, he talked and acted like he was in a band, but a little bit more 'him' than the other guys who were in bands.

    Chances are if you're reading this, you always thought of yourself as “never fitting in a mold.” Which is a good thing. Except it probably means you never went through a process of defining yourself. And certainly not to the extent of that guy who got all the girls. He intentionally worked to define himself and to build everything around that, and over time he developed incredible congruence. Even if it was congruent as a douche bag. You probably didn't. And now, you still are likely to have flaws in congruence because you've never sat down and intentionally worked on it from the ground up.

    So decide. What's the best you? What does that person say? What's their energy level? What words to they use and not use? What do they wear? Do they wear a watch or not? Do they wear a necklace or not? Are they a loose cannon? Are they intentional and powerful? What is it? You'll still incorporate the rest of what I'm talking about, but with a different flavor depending on what you describe here.

    Define yourself so you know what you need to start building congruence around. You'll probably find that in order to always be your best self, you shouldn't say words you used to say. When your best friend says “that's shit ain't cool bro” you probably used to say “yeah, that ain't cool” because you were having rapport with him. Guess what? You should probably stop doing that. Because if that doesn't fit with your best you, then it's not congruent or smooth for you to blurt that out because he did.

    If your bootcamp was taught by a guy who told you to dress like a rockstar but you're a powerful business man and when you define yourself that's your style, don't dress like a rockstar! Have a unique style, but do it right. Get a sick fucking pinstripe fitted suit. Wear a perfectly crisp white shirt. Maybe you wear a chain with it to be more of a rockstar. Maybe you don't. Maybe you wear shoes you'd never wear into the boardroom, maybe you don't. Maybe at night you wear a mowhawk with the suit, maybe you don't. Figure it out.

    If you dress like a rockstar, don't run around talking about the “deleterious effects of iphones on today's youth” that's not congruent.

    See where I'm going? To be really congruent, you have to define yourself first. Then you have to BUILD the congruence one block at a time and develop it. A year from now, you should be a defined, unique, and coherent person. You should have a hairstyle that says you all over it. Your clothes should shout 'you'. Your vibe, your energy, your word choice, your style of humor. It should all be 'you' to the core.

    This is the cornerstone of smooth. When girls sense a violation in this, they might be laughing their fucking asses off or loving you but leave anyway. When this all adds up, she might be trying to marry you before you know it.

    And guess what? Being truly congruent across all levels is how you get long term relationships. If you put on your little pickup act that's full of holes and doesn't mesh with who you really are, you might pull a girl. She might even hang out with you a few times. But eventually she'll start to see the real you, or the confused you, or both poking through and it won't turn into much.

    So define yourself, then be congruent. And feel free to evolve. Once you start the process, it will continue. Who you feel you are, how you feel you dress, all of it might change. You can also have different sides, you might dress like a rockstar going to a cocktail party when you go to a cocktail party. And you might dress like a rockstar going to a beach volleyball game when you go to a beach volleyball game. But keep it congruent.
    Oh, and don't worry about the fact that this takes a lot of learning and is a daunting task. Give it time. Let yourself explore a bit. If you are consciously aware and working on it, you'll get there more and more.


    Part 4: Framing and logistics

    Go read Intrigue's posts on the lounge. And find Captain Jack's audios “Get a girlfriend” (which is not at all about getting girlfriends, but instead about inner game, perceptions, and how girls look at stuff), “Sexual framing,” and “Game Dynamics Mastery.” The middle of those three is, obviously, the one that is the most about framing.

    Intrigue is the absolute master of logistics. That's his genius. I won't even write about it because I can't touch what he writes. And because he'd be pissed if I let out some of the great stuff that he teaches in his SNL workshops. So go learn it from the master.

    Just know that you HAVE to work out logistics, especially for SNLs, or you won't get anywhere. And often you have to frame, but not always. If you game smoothly enough with enough sexual tension, the framing burden becomes less and less.


    Part 5: Examples of the vibes and attitudes you need

    The best way to kickstart your game right now is to put very clear examples and pictures of what you should be doing in your mind. Over time, I've found and been shown some great examples. Go watch these ASAP, it's very highly to your benefit. I know we all get so many recommendations in pickup that we never follow up on them. But I'm not a useless recommender, these are all incredible.

    1) Rock of Ages with Tom Cruise. Watch every Stacee Jaxx scene, and let yourself see what sexual tension really is

    2) Gene Simmons interviews. Especially with Oprah back in the day. Find them on YouTube.
    If you haven't noticed, a decent amount of this post has to do with how Intrigue is right there with the best in the world. I promise you, the guy sits around watching YouTube videos of Gene Simmons like a fucking crack addict. He's laughing his ass off reading this right now because he knows it's true. Gene is the real life Stacee Jaxx. He's slept with over 4000 women, including the playboy playmate he married.
    His interviews show a few things. First of all, the mindset of a man who is pure sex, and gets sexuality and how light-hearted it is to women like few do. Second, the mindset of a man who is basically a walking sexual fantasy. He might be ugly as shit, but if you learn more about him you'll realize he embodies a woman's sexual fantasies pretty well. Third, you should pay attention to his positive delusional beliefs. He's convinced himself to be so certain in himself that some things he thinks are obviously not true, but he believes them anyway. The catch is, being so certain HELPS him. He says at one point that he would have no problem fucking Brad Pitt's girlfriend on any given night even in his 60s or however old he was in the interview. Is that true? Probably not. But he believes it. And because he believes it so thoroughly, there might have been instances where he really would've stolen Brad Pitt's girlfriend, at least pre-Angelina. Fourth, the guy's just a serious character and fun to listen to.

    3) Suits – specifically the character Harvey Specter. The character is pure smooth, pure certainty, and has a cheek and in many situations an “it's just a little fun” attitude towards things other people think are life and death. He's the embodiment of charisma and of getting what he wants. His mannerisms are a bit uptight for a club, but otherwise he's a gold standard example of what being certain and being smooth and being persistent look like. Just picture it a little more loose than he is. Like Harvey Specter crossed with Robert Downey Jr's character in Iron Man, which is a more cavalier character.
    Also, if you're dating a girl I can almost guarantee she'll get addicted to watching suits and to Harvey Specter. That's enough right there to show you the character's dynamite
    The opening sequence of “Hitch” is also a dynamite example of smooth. Will Smith nails it. And Ryan Gosling in “Crazy, Stupid, Love” is also pure smooth. He's a terrible example of energy, though.

    4) Tyler D's one hour infield montage on YouTube. This is one of the best examples I've seen of “it's just a little fun.” And also of the loose cannon mindset. The guy doesn't give a fuck, he's been out too many nights to care. And he fully gets the vibe of women's sexuality, though I'd say if he built a lot more sexual tension instead of relying on energy, he'd get laid a lot more. (Though I've heard he does quite well as is) Anyway, watch how light everything is to him. He's probably higher energy, faster speaking, less smooth, and lower sexual tension than you should ideally want to be. But he's a very good example of “it's just a little fun.” And you can also see the energy frame blowout in action
    This YouTube video is also the PERFECT example of sweeping girls away with energy. That's Tyler's game, at least from what I've seen. Not a lot of sexual tension, just sweep them away in a river of energy until they wind up at his place. Again, not what I would say is the ideal or most effective route, but he's a perfect example of how to use energy to keep girls around. Throw in some Stacee Jaxx and some Harvey Specter or Ryan Gosling in “Crazy, Stupid, Love” and you've got the perfect pickup guy.

    I'm sure there's some other movie characters that perfectly embody “it's just a little fun,” but I can't think of them right now. Jake Gylenhaal in the opening sequence of “Love and Other Drugs” is a good one. Wedding Crashers is a pretty good example. The relationship between Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in “Friends with Benefits” is a great example in the beginning, though they eventually fall in love and then it changes since it's a chick flick. Basically, if you struggle with how to view sex and how to think about picking up a girl and how that should go down, watch these and it'll do the job good enough.

    Basically you want to imagine a combination of Harvey Specter or Ryan Gosling and Tyler D who is congruent with you approaching. Then some combination of Tyler D and the “it's just a little fun” movies building up energy. Then an increasing amount of Stacee Jaxx and Harvey Specter building up sexual tension, with fun outbursts that can be Tyler D or anyone funny that's congruent with you, and smooth conversation that can be Harvey Specter or Ryan Gosling. Of course, the combination and pieces of these that are most congruent with you is what you need to take on the most. But hopefully these will give you clear visuals.


    Part 6: Attitude towards sexuality

    Like I said before, sex to basically all girls is “just a little fun.” Let's go into that a little more. If you don't understand a girl's attitude towards sexuality, you're going to STRUGGLE hard in game.

    To certain girls they might not want to be thought of as someone who frivolously has sex and they might say it's a big deal to them. But guess what? If they were with their boyfriend, sex would STILL be just a little fun to them. Basically even to the most conservative girl, it's STILL that way. And if you frame things right, almost all girls are willing to think of it that way with you tonight. And the ones who don't will do so on a date. And the rare ones who won't on your next date (if you do things right, that's really rare), will do so a few dates in. It's a safe and healthy assumption for you to think that even the most conservative girl looks at sex as “It's just a little fun.” Just go to the bridal shower of a really conservative girl and see all the crazy lingerie her conservative friends buy her so that she can have fun having sex with her new husband.

    All that is to say that if sex is a serious matter or a big deal to you, you're not on the same page as almost any women. EVEN the conservative women who want to wait. They just want to wait. It's just a little fun to them, too. They just want to wait. And the vast, vast majority of girls don't want to wait – they simply don't want to be judged. If you frame yourself as non-judgmental and discrete (which goes into the whole sexual framing topic), they almost always don't want to wait any more. They were just saying they wanted to wait to avoid getting judged. Or because they weren't in the mood, which they will be if you properly build tension.

    Now, some of you aren't buying this. Guess what. It's the truth that all the guys who are good at game will back up. You WILL NOT be good at game until you come to terms with this. If you DON'T want to come to terms with it, then you need to spend your time building relationships with very conservative people with the same beliefs as you, because you're wasting your time. And trust me, even very conservative and religious girls see things this way. So to find someone who views sex as serious and not “just a little fun” actually takes some serious effort.
    What I'm saying is, until you accept this mindset, you're in your own way. I was raised with a weird and serious/taboo view towards sex. Even my conservative female friends didn't have the same view, they just wanted to “have a little fun” with someone they were in a serious relationship or even married to. I didn't get it. I could have gone on not getting it, but finding girls who were on the page of viewing sex as a serious thing that couldn't be approached lightly would have been incredibly difficult. Basically, if I didn't want to loosen up the way I'd been raised to look at sex, the way society and family had made me view it, I was shooting myself in the foot with almost every woman I could interact with. EVEN the extremely uncommon woman who wants to have sex only in marriage almost always wants it to be “just a little fun,” so finding a girl who wanted to get married into a serious view on sex would be nearly impossible too.

    Bottom line: If you think sex is serious and has to be tiptoed around. Even if there are little thoughts like that floating in your head, you need to work that out before you try to go further in game, or you need to reconsider. I'm not saying that you might not be able to game and only have sex with girls that you decide to date exclusively. That's an uncommon and often unpopular choice in game circles, but it's a valid one. But I AM saying that even if you want to wait until you're married for 5 years, if you can't start looking at sex as more innocent and fun, an expression of attraction and enjoyment between two people, then you're standing in your own way.

    What do you do about it? Seriously think about, even write down if you have to, your HONEST views about sex. If you judge yourself or others for having sex, or judge various things, or hesitate about various things, then you're being serious about it. You're not seeing it as “just a little fun.” If you choose to retain a conservative view, it should be “sex is just a little fun, but I prefer to have it with someone that I get to know and am serious about.” Thinking it's positive to retain a conservative serious view of sex, but still trying to go out and game and meet women is just not going to leave you with any form of success you'll be happy about. Even if you're interested in dating and not SNLs.

    It should go without saying that if you think sex is serious or taboo and you want to get SNLs, you really have to work on your views. SNLs don't come if you're being Mr. Serious or thinking that what you're doing is somehow wrong. Flat out. So you also need to decide what you want in game and under what circumstances you want to have sex. I honestly don't care if you just want to date seriously, you STILL need to define your views on sexuality and work them out. And you need to be VERY clear that almost all women have gone home with a guy the night they met him, and they thought of it as “just a little fun.” So if you have more conservative thoughts than that, you need to realize you're in the minority and the rest of the world, including the girl you're talking to in the bar, views sex as “just a little fun.”

    Like Tyler D says “Don't judge the terrain.” If you're walking along a road and there's a hill in it, don't sit around judging the hill and complaining about it. You're not helping a damn thing. You're just wasting your time. Either accept the hill and work with it, understand it, and climb it. Or pick another road.


    Part 7: How you approach social interaction

    You must be a SOURCE of energy. (Fyi, this whole section is basically straight from the Blueprint with Tyler D) The man's role is to PROVIDE energy. A charismatic person that people want to be around is someone that sets and guides a good tone, an awesome vibe, a fun or interesting energy. He's a wellspring of good times, good emotions, good interactions. Why do you always want to be around that one friend of yours? Because he's like a fountain of good times and good emotions. He's a source, you're a taker. Most people are takers, don't feel bad. But that's why certain people are magnetic.

    You need to become a source. The first step to this is when you define yourself in order to be congruent, as discussed above. If you don't do that, the question is – a source of what? Humor? Sexuality? Interesting facts? If humor, then sexual humor? Goofy humor? What?

    A fountain has to have what it puts out defined. Is it a water fountain? A chocolate fountain? A vodka fountain? It doesn't put out anything if you don't define that. You can't be a source of energy unless you know what the fuck you want to put out.

    And you decide that when you define yourself. I like to be a source of sexual tension and certain type of wry, often innuendo-laden wit. That's me. That's what I work every day to be better and better at putting out. Also interesting facts and stories. I'm not a source of goofy energy. I'm not a source of bouncing off the walls. I'm not a source of funny songs like Intrigue.

    So the one thing NOT mentioned in Blueprint is that you need to define yourself in order to become a source.

    But think through your life. Think through high school. My guess is EVERYONE reading this was NOT a source of social energy in high school. Maybe a few of you were class clowns (I was a bit for one year, but generally I was a follower. I was popular, but I was a source of nothing socially). And if you were a source of social energy, I'd bet every dollar it wasn't attractive social energy like sexual tension or innuendo. You wouldn't be reading my long ass post about game if you were.

    Why do you want, no need, to be a source of energy? I'm assuming everyone here is advanced enough to see the obvious reasons. But there are others. Minor things like it's magnetic to people. But major things too. One of the most important is that you can't be properly masculine if you're not a source of energy. Why? Because masculine also means rock steady, consistent. Not reactive. If you're to be not reactive and the same in virtually any circumstance, it means that you must derive your energy from within. You CANNOT take it from your surroundings. Women take their energy from their surroundings, that's why the cute girl in front of you is popping her ass in a cocktail dress with no panties on to hip hop music while standing on a bar tonight, but tomorrow she'll be answering questions in physics class and practically seem like a different person. She's a girl, that's fine. But for you, if some part of you isn't the same at your job tomorrow as you are in the club tonight – calibrated, but still putting out the same vibe – then you're not being the rock solid masculine man.

    So, if you can't take energy from your surroundings because you'll never be solid and certain and the same across different circumstances. Because you'll be at the whimsy of your surroundings, and that's highly unattractive. Then you have two options. Either no energy, in which case your a dead-inside ice man in all situations. A 1950's man who just has no emotions. Which we all know almost never picks up chicks, and certainly never in a bar. OR, you have energy but it has to come from within you so that it's always the same. Long story short, you need to be a source of energy if you're to be consistent and masculine.

    Next, you're probably 'Stifled.' Tyler D nails this in Blueprint, so you should really go watch it. Basically, stifled means that you're afraid to let what's inside you out in an unrestrained way. I was playing a board game the other night that had you act out ridiculous things on the cards. That's not necessarily congruent for me, but if you do it half assed and don't own it, then acting out strange things is really awkward. So I owned it as best I could, but it was still muted. That's stifled. I was holding on tight, not letting go. Holding back.

    Tyler D's example in Blueprint is to have a student stand up and do a full-out warrior yell. He yells like your grandmother with a cold, standing in a library. Why? Because his voice is feeble? No. Because he's standing in front of the entire attendance at Tyler's seminar and he's afraid of being judged. He's stifled. You should be able to just let out a full on roar and not give a fuck. That's unstifled.

    So what does this matter? You don't need to yell or to act ridiculous in set.

    But if you're stifled, you're holding on tight. Everything is coming out through this tense filter. People feel it. You're holding back. You're afraid. Everything becomes awkward because they can feel that level of awkwardness that is filtering it. It's like you painted flames on your wall because you were too afraid to have a real fireplace in your house. It's weird, and people think you're weird for it.

    If you think back to yourself in high school again, you were probably also pretty stifled. You were probably so worried about what people thought, that you never let it rip. You were never capable of being really interesting, really sexy, a leader, a risk taker, a bad boy, a rock star, because you had to hold on so tight to everything.

    You need to cut loose, let it flow. Not give a fuck. Become unstifled. A bit of a wildman. Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man – he's unstifled, he just does or says whatever the hell comes to his mind and he does it 100 percent.

    Tyler D says that being around someone who is unstifled is freeing. People love the experience. It's magnetic just like being a source of energy. It's kind of James Dean. It's freeing, a rebel not held back by society. Even if you game in a power suit because you're a power business guy, you should still be unstifled. Being both congruent and unstifled when you're in the midst of defining yourself... That's really tough. It'll take a while. Congruence is more important than being unstifled, but all you have to do is watch the stifled guy try to yell on the seminar DVD and you'll see how awkward and off-putting being stifled is.


    Part 8: How you approach 'conversation'

    'Conversation' is useless. This is likely one of the key things holding you back. You don't want conversation. You shouldn't care about the conversation ending. You shouldn't care if the conversation “goes anywhere.” You shouldn't worry about “having things to say.” You SHOULD NOT CARE about conversation.

    Why? Because you shouldn't be progressing conversation and conversational threads, you should be progressing EMOTIONS and 'EMOTIONAL THREADS.' If she starts getting turned on while you're talking about strip clubs or something, and the next logical avenue of the strip club conversation is to talk about how women wind up working at strip clubs, guess what? You're at a crossroads and you don't even realize it. You can keep following the CONVERSATIONAL thread and keep talking about strip clubs. In which case you'll talk about how the women work there, which is depressing, which will ruin how turned on she was getting a minute before in the conversation when you were talking about pole dancing in strip clubs or whatever. OR, you can follow the EMOTIONAL thread you had started and talk about how you like women who really know how to dance because someone who moves well is very sexy to you. In which case she might get more turned on.
    What happened there? In the first example you CUT the emotional thread in order to continue the conversational thread and in turn shot yourself in the foot. Whoops. And, since this isn't something that gets directly addressed in the pickup community, you probably had no real idea except that you could feel it and you might realize you shouldn't have talked about how women become strippers. But you might not realize what you should have done instead.
    You SHOULD have cut the conversational thread and followed the emotional thread. The emotional thread was about talking about how sexy the movement of women is. Or about things that are a turn on in general. That was working. That was going where you wanted it to. Your conversation and the conversational thread is completely useless to you, the underlying emotional thread is what you want. You want to follow that, keep it going.

    This leads to a type of smoothness and something naturals also do. Not jumping around in conversation, or flowing and being congruent to the history of the conversation generally means not jumping around to a bunch of emotional threads. Not constantly cutting emotions off as they're forming. And it might mean throwing away conversational threads in favor of emotional ones. Generally speaking, naturals are good at following the emotions. They prize emotions over conversation, much like most girls do. And because of it, they let emotions build, ultimately evoking stronger emotions and having more success.

    Second, you should realize that 'conversation' is not only useless, but it should not be linear in social settings. It shouldn't progress. It's not “going anywhere.” If you've ever said or thought “Man, that conversation was starting to go somewhere,” then you were already on the wrong foot before you started. Conversation should spread out like the root system of a plant. Little things should pop up, and you should just make something out of them and follow them to create emotions. You piggy back on little segways and create emotions or humor that way.

    Your normal guy wants the conversation to “go somewhere” so when a girl he day games says she's going to class, his brain kicks in and says “nah, that's not interesting enough. Ask more questions until you get something interesting to work with.” And you've already lost. You shouldn't think that. You should think “Cool, let's make something interesting out of this. A branch of the root has just sprouted, let's follow it and create an emotional thread along the way.” So you say “Class! Damn, you must be fucking thrilled! What do you learn about today? Napoleon Bonaparte and how small his shoes were? Riveting.” Then she says “No, cell biology actually.” And you say “Take it easy, I'm not a piece of meat. I don't like when you look at my mitochondria that way.” You now have just turned a situation that nearly turned into the dreaded interview style interaction when she gave you the boring ass response about going to class, and you turned it into a budding root system that isn't really logically going anywhere, but it's following a solid emotional thread of humor. You're not talking about her class in any logical way, you're not learning about her. The conversation is 'going' nowhere, but the emotional thread of humor is progressing nicely. You're now having fun. That's the point.

    Then you follow that for a while, and eventually you ask what she does for fun. She says “I go out and I sleep.” Again, don't think “that shit is way too boring, this is going nowhere.” Think “Okay, now we have a new bud in the root system which we'll explore in a different direction. Then you have an option. Do you want to keep the emotional thread of humor going? Do you want to start a new emotional thread of sexual tension? If you want to do the former, you might say “Oh crap. Somebody call the police, this girl is way too fascinating to be let out in public.” If you keep that kind of thing up, she might be rolling on the ground laughing, which means she'll talk to you for a long time, but humor cuts sexual tension. So if you just keep following the humor, you're not using your best tool – sexual tension – and you're not leading yourself anywhere. Instead you might look her in the eyes and go “Ahhhhh.” very slowly then “You should be careful.” Slowly. Pause. Staring into her eyes. “If you keep that up, you might become...” pause, she's wondering what you're going to say, you're staring into her eyes “olllllddd and borrrinnnng.” She giggles a bit nervously. Now that wasn't particularly funny. Or interesting. Really it wasn't anything. It was smooth, more or less, so it won't screw anything up. But more importantly you took a while to say it with some good pauses with lots of eye contact. You could even move in slowly as you say it and use the proximity to help build the tension. By the end of that she might be biting her lip or looking away because you've built up enough tension to make her nervous. Now you've started an emotional thread of sexual tension. Again, you have to choose. You could follow that conversational thread and talk about her being old and boring, which will almost certainly cut your sexual tension. Or you can continue the sexual tension emotional thread and not worry about the conversational thread. “Sooo. If we were going out tonight. What... Would... You... [eye contact in the pauses] Wear?” Slowly, pauses, eye contact. It's a completely different logical thread, but you're continuing the same emotion and building it up more. The conversation is branching off in new directions, going nowhere special. Just like a root system. But the emotions are going exactly where you want them. She has fun with you and wants to stay around you, she's getting turned on and feeling more sexual tension.

    So don't worry about the conversation. Take any little thing and turn it into an opportunity for emotions, and then follow that emotion for a while before jumping to a new one. The opposite of the boring interview.

    Finally, don't look for anything in the conversation, and do NOT look for her to lead it in any way ESPECIALLY early on. Most guys throw some line out to open, then say “So, where are you from?” “What do you do?” They brought in 5 seconds of conversation, and now they're hoping she'll take over and lead the conversation. Guess what, she doesn't study social dynamics. Why the hell would you act like you want her to lead the conversation? Do you think she'll lead it better than you? No, it's just a habit. Don't forget, that early on she has no reason to want to help you lead the conversation. She doesn't know you from a door knob, and she's not talking to the door knob at the entrance, is she? If you make her think in any way early on that you're looking for her to lead the conversation, she'll leave.

    I used to struggle so much with transitioning because I would be incongruent with how I opened in my transition, and then I would do things that looked to her to lead the conversation a bit.

    Now I might ask her what she does to transition. But I'm already ready for what happens next. She says what she does, I make it more interesting with energy. “A teacher!? Ohhhh fuckkk! You're one of those save the world types!” Then I might accuse her of being a ninja, and the teacher thing's just a cover up. Then I'll pause. At which point she'll invariably ask me what I do. Then I'll tell her that I'm the lead cheerleader for the San Antonio Spurs, and that I pop my booty better than every girl they've ever had (actually I won't because that would be too goofy to be congruent with my style, but I'm making up examples right now). I'm being smooth because it all pretty much adds up and there's no sudden jumps or incongruencies, but even though I asked her what she did, I didn't really care – I was just setting up more chance for me to lead the conversation. I already knew where I was going, it was just a smoother setup for it. It wouldn't have been smooth at all to just out of the blue tell her that I'm the lead cheerleader for the Spurs. That would've been weird. And the lack of smoothness would've gotten me blown out. But I set her up to ask me what I did, in which case it was smooth to fuck with her and say that in response.

    Along with this is to NEVER SEARCH FOR CONVERSATION. If you're looking for conversation by asking questions or trying to find it in her or externally to you, you're already losing. You make the conversation from inside yourself. Don't go looking for it. This is how interviews happen – you're searching for something that you think makes a conversation. You should just be creating opportunities for you to create a conversation from within.
    If you 'run out of things to say' it's because you're searching for conversation. First you have to relax. You're too tight if that's happening, and you're trying to be too perfect. Second, you have to stop trying to have conversations by accessing your memory. The creative part of your brain and your memory are in separate locations in your brain. That means if you're trying to dig up some witty line or pull something from your bootcamp or bring back something you said before, you're cutting off your creativity. If instead you just say or ask something, and then try to create something useful out of her response, you now have the opportunity to use the creative side of your brain. If you exercise this muscle and stay out of the memory side of your brain, you shouldn't 'run out of things to say'. When in doubt, just say something more specific about the last thing she said. Above she mentioned class and I said something about Napoleon Bonaparte's shoe size. That doesn't make a lot of sense, but by putting energy behind it it will be funny enough. I just thought of something more specific that you might learn in class. Then she mentioned biology, so I made it more specific and told her to not stare at my mitochondria.
    So, rather than trying to go into your memory to get stuff to say, access your creative brain to find something more specific about whatever she just said and make something out of that. That's the easiest trick.

    Finally, the slower you talk and the more pauses you leave, the more your creative brain will unravel and the better conversationalist you will become. You know how you always have awesome stuff to say in texts, but it never comes out in your conversations? That's because you're desperately trying to fill the conversational space and keep constantly saying things. You don't want to allow any blank spots in the conversation, any pauses. Trust me, I did it for years.

    But in your rush to keep saying things and filling the 'void,' you're not giving your brain the split second it needs to be creative and say good things. Your forcing yourself to go into memory to try and dredge up conversation, and then you'll run out of things to say or it will be boring.

    Even worse, she'll sense that you're trying to push the conversation forward and worried about it having any dead space. Keywords 'trying' and 'worried.' In other words, you're being try-hard, you're after a goal, which means you want her and you're trying to get laid because you're desperate and also that you want her approval, and it also shows that you're nervous and not confident because you're worried about conversational dead space.

    Wow... All those problems caused by trying to speak too fast and not let the conversation drop. If you slow the fuck down and add in pauses, NOT ONLY do you get to build sexual tension as a result, but you also avoid showing all of those really negative things AND you give yourself enough thinking time to be witty and interesting.

    Trust me, throwing in pauses unlocked all the greatness that was already in my game almost overnight. I went from being a wreck that had gamed for years but constantly felt like I couldn't keep conversations going, like my brain constantly locked up, like I was obviously trying hard, and like I could never bring out my best self into a pimp with lots of tension, cool-as-a-cucumber demeanor (when I wasn't using energy), and plenty of witty responses basically overnight. Sadly I still get into a rush all the time, because I'm still learning. But this is huge.

    Hopefully it's becoming more clear why I talked so much about pauses earlier.

    Then there's an even better subject- one I call “Interaction Flipping.” Intrigue's good at this. Basically, once she's hooked and liking you, you just shut the fuck up some times. Own the silence. OWN IT. If you don't own it and show comfort, possibly even maintain eye contact, it'll be awkward. We all get used to not allowing silence because we've experienced awkward silences before, and we don't want to again. However, if you own the silence, which you very well may not have done before, something different will happen. SHE'LL fill the silence. Either because she wants to keep talking to you, or because she feels awkward. Doesn't matter which or why, they both work out well for you.

    I call it interaction flipping because if you start doing this early on when things are going well, and then start doing it more and more, pretty soon she'll be the driver of the conversation, not you. Or at least she'll be taking equal parts. Now she's chasing you. Even though you opened. The interaction has flipped. That's where you want to be. Her asking you questions, you teasing her or making up funny responses, or telling her interesting things.

    If you DON'T interaction flip, and you just keep doing all the talking all the time, you'll wind up seeming try hard. Like you really don't want the interaction to die. She'll feel she has to do nothing and try nothing to keep the interaction going, so you have no value because you want it to go forward so badly. Basically, you're a sucker – rather than someone who she has to chase and wants to get. If you can be a full force of nature, like Boulderrr or Tyler D, then you can pull this off. Otherwise, you probably can't. Both of them still get the girl to contribute, though. If she feels she doesn't have to contribute anything to keep you around, then she'll feel like you just want her too badly to be interesting. You'll feel this as a gradual loss of interest, even though what you were doing was just fine. The set will just... Fizzle.


    Part 9: The little things. Like don't lean in right when you're first opening so she doesn't recoil back and go on the defensive. Or commit 100% to your opener in both action and voice. Etc.

    There's a lot of little things you learn over time gaming. This is what people call “calibrating”. Most of these are talked about plenty elsewhere. There's a few that aren't that are make or break.

    First, don't lean in when you're opening. You lean in, she sees a strange guy leaning in, she recoils and she's already on the defensive or the “get away from me” at the outset. Now you're climbing uphill.

    “Cocksmanship”. This is discussed a lot, but when you open, don't face her directly with your feet and hips and shoulders and everything. Face everything at a bit of an angle away from her (including your cock, which is why it's called “cocksmanship”) and things will go MUCH better. Sounds subtle and stupid and not that big, right? Not exactly. Think of the little beggar kid in Mexico that comes up to you and tugs on your shirt and wants something. What's he doing? Facing you directly with his whole body, as you face away. What do you immediately feel? He WANTS something. Now if the kid came up to you, was facing the same way as you, tugged your shirt from the side while looking over his shoulder at you... Well, you might assume the kid was about to warn you not to walk into that next block or something. Completely different feel. Doesn't mean it's a “good” feel. It's just more neutral. It's at least not negative. She's not assuming you want something and are needy right from the start. I would worry about this most only at the beginning.

    Commit 100% when you go to open. NEVER half ass your opener. EVER. She will ignore the fuck out of you if you come in all weak. I get lazy and I've opened so many sets that I still fall into this a lot. You have to come in with energy, commanding her attention, certain of what you're doing. Not a single hint in any part of your brain or anything that you're doing that there's any hesitation. After all, why should you ever be afraid of a 22 year old girl? Seriously? Who cares WHAT she looks like. Why should you even think twice about it? Whatever you think is 100% is probably 60% if this isn't normal for you. So you might have to do 200%. If you think there's any hint of weakness or lack of gung-ho in your opener, you're not going in all out. Like I said, I do this all the time still. Watch for it.

    MOVE HER if something's not right. If you can't talk into her ear where she's standing. If she's feeling a little uncomfortable letting you get really close with her and start turning her on because the spot you're in is low energy with lots of people standing around and she's a little more on the shy side? Maybe her friend is right next to you and so she doesn't want to be all up on you, move her. Ask her to get a drink or whatever. Maybe you're kind of stalled out, go sit down somewhere with her. Really, if things aren't escalating, it's a great call to always just try to logistically escalate. She'll either say no, in which case the set wasn't going anywhere anyway so who cares, or she'll give it a try and maybe when you move things will go well. Moving resets the state and the mind a bit, so it works quite well. (I wish I could remember to do this all the time)

    Don't create occasional breaks in the tension and the situation. You're building tension, don't look away here and there. Don't cut the tension because you feel uncomfortable. Etc. Get in there and stay in there, unless you need to stand back and be chill for a moment and let the world spin around you. The only reason you really do that is to show that you need nothing, and you can relax and are in no hurry. Generally it's better to keep going forward when in doubt.

    Don't be afraid to express interest, just own it when you do, and don't do tons of it. Old school game said don't tell her that you're interested, screw that. If you like something, say it, and own it. Just don't do it more than a few times here and there. I usually open with something that says I find her attractive, so there's no confusion.

    Speak. Fucking. Slowly. A guy who speaks quickly is grasping for straws, trying too hard, moving things forward. She's going to think you're a loser trying to get something from her. Just trying too hard period. Get in there. Start strong. Relax a little. More importantly, leaving pauses as we discussed gets her to start chasing you a bit.

    Do NOT talk AT her, talk TO her as a human being. ESPECIALLY when opening. You've opened hundreds of times, I get it. Don't let that cause you to throw an opener like you're throwing a pebble at a window... Which it will bounce off. Speak like you're talking to a fucking human being.


    Part 10: A bunch of roadblocks, blocking perceptions, and little notes

    Blocking perceptions – this is the root of why you're stuck. This is a term that I added to a concept I got from Captain Jack. Basically, the way you perceive the world manifests itself into your beliefs, then your strategies and tactics, and ultimately what you do and how you do it. So, it's the way you perceive the world that turns into your game, basically.

    The catch is, you don't consciously know the vast majority of the ways in which you perceive the world. And they get in your way all the time. If you want to talk to people with content, and you keep talking to women who are energy communicators with content over and over, you keep getting horrible results. But you have NO IDEA that you perceive the world in a content-based manner, and they view it in an energy based manner. What is happening, is that your perception about conversations revolving around content is blocking your success. And you don't even know.

    The ONLY way you're going to improve is to find that blocking perception, and fix it. And it can come quickly. You might go out for a week thinking about energy communication, and make more progress than you have in the last 6 months. Because of finding and fixing your blocking perception, you have jumped up. This is the reason that progress is not a linear upward trajectory, but instead a series of upward steps.

    Progress at pickup, or anything, will be a long process of steadily finding your subconscious perceptions that get in the way of doing things properly, and getting rid of them. This post is designed to make sure that you know EXACTLY what you SHOULD be doing, so that you can undertake a straightforward and progressing process of finding what is stopping you from carrying out these things and fixing those perceptions. There used to be so many freaking directions you could take pickup in, that there was no freaking way you could have a clear enough idea about what you SHOULD be doing in order to slowly get there. But think of any established sport. The golf swing is a defined entity, it basically has a correct form, with some minor tweaks depending on who you talk to. Over time, you slowly work on executing each segment of the golf swing better, and you progress along with that process. If there were 73 different swings that were loosely defined out there, progressing towards true mastery would be fucking impossible. That's where pickup has been. This is supposed to give you a clear idea of EXACTLY where you need to go to get the level of success you want, and thus to give you a way to, over time, progress through all the roadblocks that are stopping you from getting there.

    Self talk. The way you talk to yourself in your own head during the course of every day is going to be your default for how you interact with others. If you hesitate or lack decisiveness, if you talk to yourself in a very linear and dry and content-based fashion, if there's no thought of jokes or energy or cocky-funny... That's all going to be your default state. You'll have to try to snap out of it into 'pickup you' in order to get anything done when you want to go game someone. However, over time you should try really hard to change the way you talk inside your own head. I'm constantly trying to say cocky-funny stuff inside my head. To sexualize things more. To be more certain about myself, rather than fairly weighing out the reality of my strengths and weaknesses. (By the way, when it comes to your self image – reality is useless. It doesn't matter what is reality, the most positive self image you can possibly have, no matter how delusional that positivity may be, will always produce the best results for you. Provided you don't think you're so strong you can stand in traffic and catch semi-trucks or something. There's no use for 'reality' in how you look at yourself. This doesn't spread to how you look at your actions and how your actions affect others, just how you look at yourself. Furthermore, no two people can agree on how attractive someone else is. And girls think confidence is a huge factor in attractiveness. So there actually isn't a 'reality' for your image anyway, it's all subjective. So crank it up to 10 inside that noggin of yours and leave it there. Implications of the real world and your experiences be damned).

    You're going to run into tons of roadblocks when it comes to finishing what you've started, like trying to pull a set that's going well. To pushing forward and continuing to improve at game. To believing that you deserve all the success you want, not just an amount of success better than what you had but inferior to what you've wanted. In some ways, you have to take what the pickup community loves to call “right action.” Just keep pushing forward the right way. You're happy you just hooked a ten and your brain wants to accept the victory and leave the set? Why? So you don't have to have your victory tainted by later getting blown out? Because that step is 'enough' for you? Just shut up and finish the set, blow me or blow me out. Take right action.

    “I'm not XYZ.” Yep, you'll keep hitting this one over and over. It's “I'm not good looking enough/tall enough/rich enough/smelling enough of fine cheese” - we all have one or many of these. I've been dealing with my own version of it most of today myself. You're going to keep having the “I'm not XYZ” conversation with yourself. First off, you need to learn to stop that conversation in your own head when it pops up. It's useless. Even if you're “I'm not XYZ” were to be true, it's something you can't change – so ignoring it is in your best interest. But most likely, the XYZ is not true anyway. It's just going to bring you down, and mess up how free you are. Maybe your XYZ puts a glass ceiling on your eventual success, maybe it doesn't matter at all. But guess what? Your XYZ will stop you at a pretty high level of success if you can absolutely nail everything you have control over in your game. But WORRYING about your XYZ will stop you right here, right now. So when that convo starts, you need to tell it to get the fuck out of your head, because it is neither here nor there and certainly is NOT in your best interest. We are biologically programmed to worry, but you need to let your brain worry about other shit. You got 99 problems, but pickup ain't one. And neither is XYZ.


    Part 11: How to practice out of the field

    In the military, they have a saying: We don't rise to the occasion, we fall to our training.

    In other words, under stress your mind does what it is most accustomed to. I'm a sports guy, I spent most of my life competing in probably the most competitive individual, technique based sport in the world. In sports, just as in the military, you don't go out and do the full-on thing over and over and hope you'll have good results. You need to train your brain to do the right things without the stress, and then learn to do it with the stress. However, in pickup we just go out over and over and over and over.

    Am I saying you shouldn't go out? ABSOLUTELY NOT. You'll never get good if you don't. You always have to remember that pickup is a NUMBERS GAME. The more you do, the more results. Period. BUT, I am saying that if you don't train your brain outside of the 'field' you will eventually hit a plateau and you will basically stay there. Every time the pressure of having to say something in the moment is on, you'll say the same sorts of things. Your brain will go through the same patterns. If you haven't reached basically the level of game you want at that point, good luck. You're not going to improve by leaps and bounds that way, and your progress will be slow and you'll be wasting months and years in which you could've experienced better results.

    The reason we don't train a lot out of the field in pickup is that no one has really answered the question of HOW you do this...

    Here's a couple ways that I use:

    Stimulus and response games. Generally I pick out a chick-oriented movie or TV show (something where the characters are more likely to say girl friendly, energy communication instead of content communication things). These can be old episodes of the OC, they can be chick flicks, they can be even worse things like 90210. The point isn't that you like what you choose. Then you play games with it:
    -Play the show/movie, and pause it every time someone says something. Anything. Make a FUNNY response, and try to make it energy communication. Do that for a while, then play another game
    -Play the show/movie, pause it when they say something, turn it into sexual innuendo
    -Play the show/movie, pause it when they say something, use energy to make whatever they said interesting/cool. Use ENERGY here, not content responses
    -Play the show/movie, pause it, respond with a sudden burst of energy that sets a frame
    -Play the show/movie WITHOUT pausing it, and play the above games in response to as many things as they say, as fast as you can

    You can sit there for hours a week doing this. And guess what? When you go out after, or even talk to your friends, you will instantly notice that you're more on point, and the types of reactions you want to have are at the forefront of your mind. Very cool. This should be one of your go tos.

    Walk through your opener and transition. Over and over and over. Think about body language, eye contact, not leaning in, having proximity, cocksmanship, committing 100%, being commanding. Make yourself sick of doing it. Communicating with ENERGY. Think about HOW YOU SHOULD EXPECT OPENING TO FEEL.
    What are you doing here? You're opening your awareness so that you are aware of and notice mistakes in areas you're not normally going to notice. You might go do 2000 openers and never notice that you're not 100% committed, or that you have bad cocksmanship. But if you keep practicing out of the field, and pay attention to these things one at a time, trying to observe and nail all of them, then you'll get greater awareness of what you're doing in field. You'll also make things more automatic, so that you'll be more free and act in a looser way. And, if you're thinking about how it should FEEL and not what you should do, you might slow down and create the right EMOTIONS when you open. If you do this and just try to nail the actions as you're practicing, you might wind up in a state where when you go out, you just rush through everything as though just 'doing' it right will get you results.

    VISUALIZE. Both short term and long term. Visualize opening, transitioning, passing the hooking tipping point, talking right in her ear so she can feel your breath, stretching out your pauses so she contributes, holding close proximity, eye contact with pauses that get longer, isolating her to another part of the bar, walking around with her. VISUALIZE HOW IT ALL SHOULD FEEL. We repeat the same actions over and over no matter what we know we SHOULD do if we expect the feeling that results from our actions to be the same. In other words, you might KNOW in your mind that you should do something completely differently, but if you expect doing it to feel the same as it has always felt for you, then you're going to subconsciously push yourself to doing the same thing. For example, if you're used to opening and having the girl be unsure about talking to you, and then feeling like you're plowing forward as she loses interest, what happens? Even after you learn how you SHOULD open and transition to do it right, you'll subconsciously alter the way you do things in order to make her be luke warm and fade over time. Instead, you must visualize her lighting up, you hitting her with energy that hooks her and makes her want to flirt with you, you getting in her ear and her getting turned on and moving closer to you, etc.
    One of the keys of visualization is if you hit a spot where you can't really feel or imagine something, IT MEANS YOU DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND IT. Visualization will tell you in a hurry what you don't really get.
    Visualize long term. Visualize being a guy who goes out and regularly flirts with, pulls, and has sex with the girls he wants to be around. Who doesn't think that's weird. Who those girls call up and want to hang out with again and again. This is over time going to help your brain accept success, rather than fear it. If your brain doesn't believe in the success you want, it will undermine you and keep you where it thinks you belong. Your brain is a lazy mother fucker and often, as Tyler D points out in Blueprint Decoded, will undermine the crap out of you.

    Self Talk. Try to monitor AND CHANGE your self talk as much as possible. Talk to yourself in your own head in a more energy communication, fun, cocky funny way, and less in a linear, boring, logical way. Sure, it might wind up taking you longer to do things you used to be efficient at. There might be some side effects. But do you want to live the life you want to live, or do you want to half ass it and pretend you're working on this and improving forever, but never really get where you want to be?

    Watch the examples I provided of the proper mindsets over and over. Why is Intrigue so mentally strong in the ways he needs for pickup? He might not want me to say it, but the guy watches Gene Simmons videos and things like that for hours every week. He's absorbed and mastered the required mindsets. You want results like Intrigues? Don't be so fucking cocky to think you'll get them without as much or even more hard work than he put in. Period.

    These things suck to do a lot of. It's boring. Any of you who have mastered a sport or an instrument, or many other topics should know that you had to go through tons of boring practice there. The only thing is, no one is holding you accountable here. Pickup is ultimately for your enjoyment, which gives you broad license to be a lazy fuck. I know because I always tell myself I'm going to spend several hours training outside the field every week, but then I often fail to really do so. Ultimately, as Mystery loved to quote, “the enemy of the best is the good.” If you're having decent results, like pulling lots of 7s even though you started game to fill your life with 8s, it's easy to become complacent and say “good enough.” We feel comfortable being “in the neighborhood of” our goals. Fuck that. Just make a commitment to yourself, and take the right actions. DO. Be a doer. Practice outside the field.
    There's a VERY good reason for this. Realistically you have two options: Spend hours a week practicing outside the field, which is boring and you won't want to do. But become good at this and live the life you want to live in a year, maybe two. OR don't practice outside the field, have slow progression, and live a marginally better life than you're living now, which probably falls short of what you really want, for the next 5 years or more. Eventually waking up to realize that you've wasted all that time because you weren't serious and dedicated about it. Hopefully the thought of being 5 years older and having placated yourself with decent results that were never really what you wanted is enough to motivate you into consistently doing the right thing. Even as I write this, I hope it will be that for me. But I also know that I need to just sack the fuck up, 100% commit to doing it, and keep myself accountable. There's a world of difference between saying you're going to do something, and putting it at the top of your priority list and letting nothing get in the way.

    And that, my friends, will hopefully be my biggest addition to pickup. Planting the seed for real, sports-type out of field training. Laying the foundation for people to really treat this like the other, more evolved competitive endeavors we have in the world. Anything else you can master, from piano to golf to football to computer programming, comes with a long series of exercises and training how to better do the components of the real thing before you attack the real thing. In pickup, we just do theory, then go out and practice full up. Let's not be hardheaded towards millenia (think of the history of martial arts) of humans figuring out how to best master things.


    How Does a Good Pickup Really Work?

    So most anyone reading this knows that the old Mystery model isn't fully necessary. Nor even the 'triad' model. Also, the Mystery and other models don't account for the fact that people are doing SNLs in bars all the time, including tons of guys who don't know what pickup is. So what really HAS to happen?

    1) She decides to talk to you. Or at least listen to the first thing you say
    -This is based around three things:
    A) You seem harmless
    B) You seem funny or like you'll give her good energy
    C) You seem attractive
    There is a fourth possibility, which you should mix with the others but shouldn't rely on: You're commanding and even surprising so she just goes with your certainty and how commanding you are and accepts your frame. (That she's going to talk to you). This is NOT aggressive. COMMANDING is not ordering people around. It is simply very certain, and comes with the unbending assumption she will follow what you want her to do
    -'Seeming attractive' has a lot to do with eye contact, posture, things like not leaning in, you being 100% committed. You being free. If she sees you hesitating or seeming to be torn in a couple directions, that's bad. Proximity. I try to make it so the first time she sees me, she's locking eyes with me and holding that, and it's with fairly close proximity. I like to “melt” her with my eye contact before I say anything. Though if I'm feeling nervous I rush it and ruin that effect

    2) She decides to talk to you a bit longer. Whatever you opened with kept alive one of, or several of, A, B, and C above, seemed congruent, and didn't make her uncomfortable or raise red flags.

    3) She decides to flirt with you. Generally you've done some energy communication that hit a chord (vibed, per se) with her. Maybe you made her laugh. Maybe you intrigued or challenged her. But you probably hit some energy. And made a potential for attraction arise. Keep in mind girls don't just see guys and decide they're attracted. They see guys and “he seems cute” or “maybe” and then it's a process of growth or failing of attraction from there.

    4) This is where it splits:
    -Either you start turning her on. Building sexual tension leads her directly to want you
    -Or you keep the energy up so she wants to stay around you. Her sticking with you long enough might work out for you.
    -In rare cases, you might interest her via content communication enough she stays around. Maybe she's a gold digger and you have a yacht (I'm just throwing that term out there, not being judgmental towards gold diggers per se). Maybe she's interested in a certain subject and so are you. Maybe she wants a boyfriend and you fit her idea of what would be a good boyfriend...

    5) You start logistically escalating
    NOTE: You DO NOT HAVE TO PHYSICALLY ESCALATE. That MIGHT be part of the process. It also might not. It is fully possible to not touch her, kiss, her, anything and get her into a bedroom and then have sex with her. Most guys will at least touch her. Many avoid kissing her because it releases tension. Though some slight kissing loosens her up and sort of creates a bond where she wants to stick with the guy she kissed, and not wind up kissing 4 guys that night (though many other girls could give a fuck)
    -You've got to move her towards more isolation. You've got to move her to a less stimulating environment so that you're the stimulation. You've got to get her to somewhere sex can happen. Sometimes that's a bathroom, usually it's your place or her place. Maybe even a nice spot in a park.
    -Usually you baby step this. “Loud here, let's get a drink and sit down.” “It's hot in here” or “I'm not feeling this” let's go walk around. “I have this xyz movie you should see, let's go grab another drink and check it out” (at your place)(which is always “Right around the corner”)
    -Check out Intrigue's posts on logistics. He knows more about this than I could ever write

    6) You get her really turned on somewhere sex can happen
    -One tip. Neck massage. If it's not on once you get where you're going, sit next to her, and ONE HANDED (so it's not full creepster) just start massaging her neck WHILE YOU KEEP TALKING. Act perfectly normal about it. Then move into her hair, then start running fingernails lightly on her neck. Then maybe pull the hair a little. Then you just turn her head towards you, and if she doesn't kiss you at that point – you've really fucked something up haha
    -Here's a weird bit of knowledge: The kiss IS NOT A NECESSARY PIECE. Some girls WILL NOT KISS YOU, because they made some weird promise in their head about kissing guys before they met you. In Sweden I once pulled a girl to my place from day game, fingered her and got a hand job, but she was REFUSING to kiss me. I just ran my hand up her thigh to her crotch, without complaint, and went from there. Just tonight another girl refused to kiss me, we started cuddling, I offered a back massage which turned into some pretty graphic dry-humping and if I had cared was a great opportunity to flip her over and seal the deal. But I was pretty confident that was one of those “next time it's on situations” so whatever. Though I will say you have NO idea if there will be a next time, no matter WHAT you think.

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    Oct 2013

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