Strippers and bar managers

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  1. Strippers and bar managers

    Recently I was out with a lady friend of mine when some manger type from the venue where we were at asked us to leave his establishment. This guy and my friend’s reaction to him oddly triggered a flood of memories of strippers I've known and their relationships towards the management types at the strip clubs where they worked. I write this as a counter to those who think that it is a good idea to buddy up with bartenders or bar managers in an effort to give oneself social credibility in order to win over a stripper.

    Bar managers (or whatever title they give themselves) are the bosses of strippers. But they aren't like other bosses in that they don’t pay the strippers anything and offer no benefits. Rather strippers have to get all of their earnings from tips and out of those tips have to pay stage and other fees and have to share a percentage of her tips with DJ’s and bartenders. Nonetheless they still have to adhere to the manager’s scheduling and put up with whatever mostly arbitrary rules he establishes. This all sets up the relationship as an antagonism. So even though a stripper may act friendly towards the management types she sees them as obstacles to her financial success, freedom of will, and happiness.

    A phenomenon that long puzzled me is that whenever I've had an adverse encounter with a petty authority (police and other security types, various managers, preachers, and the like) that it tended to coincide with periods of increased successes with women. I used to wonder why it was that big strong men with all the training, power, resources, and guns would react to me with such fear while small frail women would eagerly run off with me with feelings that where very much the opposite of fear.

    Robin Hood was the ultimate bad boy. Not only did he stick his finger in the eye of authority, but he got away with it and got the girl - all the while with a smile on his face.

    Strippers, by the way, are bad girls. Just the fact that they are strippers sticks a finger in the eye of society’s moral authority. Whenever a stripper and I have decided to run off and do things that bad boys and girls do when they run off together, the last person we wanted to know was her boss.

    PS One might be tempted to argue that those men who own and run strip clubs are also bad boys. I’d argue that they have a lot more in common with the Sheriff of Nottingham. They may be criminals and they may be corrupt but they are no bad boys, they are more likely to be a putz and a creep.



  2. Strippers have daddy issues and the boss is a form of a daddy and they seek their approval. You're welcome. HH

  3. Strippers and bar managers

    Quote Originally Posted by Potato View Post
    A phenomenon that long puzzled me is that whenever I've had an adverse encounter with a petty authority (police and other security types, various managers, preachers, and the like) that it tended to coincide with periods of increased successes with women. I used to wonder why it was that big strong men with all the training, power, resources, and guns would react to me with such fear while small frail women would eagerly run off with me with feelings that where very much the opposite of fear.

    Robin Hood was the ultimate bad boy. Not only did he stick his finger in the eye of authority, but he got away with it and got the girl - all the while with a smile on his face.
    Changing the topic I know but why you think that this is, as I have experienced the same thing. Coming out of school and into work had big issues at times with management one way or the other, and know what you are saying, I said what I thought and people would eat it up, the problem with it is you don't move forwards. Remember a girl saying to me once back in the day "you say what everyone around is thinking, but won't say".

  4. Strippers and bar managers

    Any thoughts people??

  5. Strippers, by the way, are bad girls. Just the fact that they are strippers sticks a finger in the eye of society’s moral authority.
    True, and helpful to understanding the stripper mindset and her relationships with family and society.

    One might be tempted to argue that those men who own and run strip clubs are also bad boys. I’d argue that they have a lot more in common with the Sheriff of Nottingham.
    Eh, I dunno. I've seen plenty of strippers who really were attracted to the boss, slept with the boss, dated the boss, or even married the boss. I think they just dig authority figures, and strip bar owners and managers are sticking it to the eye of society’s moral authority too. So there is a natural alignment there.

  6. Quote Originally Posted by Hank Havok View Post
    Strippers have daddy issues and the boss is a form of a daddy and they seek their approval.
    Quote Originally Posted by Smooth0perator View Post
    Eh, I dunno. I've seen plenty of strippers who really were attracted to the boss, slept with the boss, dated the boss, or even married the boss. I think they just dig authority figures, and strip bar owners and managers are sticking it to the eye of society’s moral authority too. So there is a natural alignment there.
    For every one of those strippers who snuggles up to the boss there is a dozen more who view such behavior with disdain. I don’t know where this daddy issue thing translates to seeking authority figures or proxies as lovers. Most of the strippers that I’ve hung out with have been quite the opposite. The daddy issues come form some man, or possibly multiple men, usually her mother’s boyfriend(s), brother(s), or acquaintance(s) who dipped into the girl’s flower before it was ready to blossom. It’s a terrifying thing. Many strippers are strippers precisely because it lets her make a lot of money without having to depend on a man.

    Recently I was having a conversation with a stripper and she was telling me how guys come up to her and start rubbing her shoulders, apparently thinking that it does something for her. She said it made feel like when her Uncle David or her mother’s friend, Jacob would do such a thing as a prelude to molesting her, it made her cringe.

  7. Quote Originally Posted by PolaBear View Post
    Changing the topic I know but why you think that this is, as I have experienced the same thing. Coming out of school and into work had big issues at times with management one way or the other, and know what you are saying…."
    I think that it is an ego type of thing, or maybe just a male dominance kind of issue. The incident that prompted me to write the OP centered around the fact that there was this place and I had gotten, I think, seven different women to leave with me over the course of about five weeks. All but one of them where women who I already knew but there were these two employees of the establishment who insisted that I must be doing something wrong (illegal). Something about running off to do what bad boys and girls do when bad boys and girls run off together. It was kind of funny, the one guy accusing me of being gay, while I was hugging the woman he couldn’t get.

    There was this other incident. My car was in the shop getting fixed and I had to resort to walking a couple of miles to catch a bus to go anywhere. After a couple of days of this a red car pulled over and a pretty woman offered me a ride. We didn’t get a quarter of a mile down the road when cop cars seemed come out from nowhere and everywhere. They were looking for someone else but during the stop this one cop and then another kept trying to paint me in a bad light to the woman, even insisting that she was putting her health and life at risk picking up guys like me. She replied to the cops, “Just look at him. There is nothing that he could do to me that I wouldn’t want him to do.”

    It might be that when testosterone or whatever it is that is running through my body when I’m most attractive to women also triggers a threat to certain men, especially those who would prefer women to look to them for comfort and riches or whatever.

    In strip clubs I run into this a lot. DJ’s seem to be the biggest problem. It seems to me that many of them think that they have some kind of priority to the girls. Bartenders can get like this too. This might be why my favorite strip clubs tend to have female bartenders – they tend to react favorably to me in the same way that some of the dancers do.

  8. The same thing happens with the dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Potato View Post
    I think that it is an ego type of thing, or maybe just a male dominance kind of issue. The incident that prompted me to write the OP centered around the fact that there was this place and I had gotten, I think, seven different women to leave with me over the course of about five weeks. All but one of them where women who I already knew but there were these two employees of the establishment who insisted that I must be doing something wrong (illegal). Something about running off to do what bad boys and girls do when bad boys and girls run off together. It was kind of funny, the one guy accusing me of being gay, while I was hugging the woman he couldn’t get.

    There was this other incident. My car was in the shop getting fixed and I had to resort to walking a couple of miles to catch a bus to go anywhere. After a couple of days of this a red car pulled over and a pretty woman offered me a ride. We didn’t get a quarter of a mile down the road when cop cars seemed come out from nowhere and everywhere. They were looking for someone else but during the stop this one cop and then another kept trying to paint me in a bad light to the woman, even insisting that she was putting her health and life at risk picking up guys like me. She replied to the cops, “Just look at him. There is nothing that he could do to me that I wouldn’t want him to do.”

    It might be that when testosterone or whatever it is that is running through my body when I’m most attractive to women also triggers a threat to certain men, especially those who would prefer women to look to them for comfort and riches or whatever.

    In strip clubs I run into this a lot. DJ’s seem to be the biggest problem. It seems to me that many of them think that they have some kind of priority to the girls. Bartenders can get like this too. This might be why my favorite strip clubs tend to have female bartenders – they tend to react favorably to me in the same way that some of the dancers do.

    When one dancer is selling a lot of dances to several wealthy regulars,but those regulars won't give the time of day to the other dancers, particularly when the club is slow, these haters want to sabotage the dancer who is making all the money. They figure if she is gone, the regulars will buy from them.

    In reality, the regulars probably will stop coming in if she is gone.

    In your situation Potato, you have become the envy of the male club staff. You're getting the pussy and the girls that they want. But they won't accept the fact that the dancers you are seeing outside the club aren't attracted to them.

    I have a business selling costumes to the dancers. When I used to personally set my rack up in some of the clubs and was known on a regular basis, dancers saw me as not after them. That I didn't see them as a sexual object like the owners, staff and customers do. Once the dancers who are attracted to you know you understand them and aren't phased by T and A, all of a sudden they want to hang with you, no gaming required.

  9. I still think its better to be friends with a club manager. The perks and social status far outway any negatives. Free entry, free drinks, free tables, vip bar service. I'm friends with a couple of regular nightclub/bar managers and its rocks when we go out and they are working. People look at us like WTF why do they get get special treatment. I wish I was friends with a strip club manager lol.

    Most bar girls/strippers/waitress any female low level employee will fuck or be attracted to the Boss or manager. Its just a regular thing that happens. I recon its some caveman shit. The girls are attracted to the power and the fact this boss guy can provide for them. Fucking the boss has a lot of perks for the girls. They can get a promotion, increase in wages, choose the days/nights they want to work. Plus they start to think they are special and dhv to the other staff. Obviously not all girls are like this. But it happens a lot. Any bar manager will tell you they have fucked or had a staff member throwing themselves at them.

    The only exception i could think of that would be bad. If you were friends with a real dirty seedy Manager who drugged girls or something. I cant say if its good or bad to be friends with a SC manager, because I don't know any. But I would imagine it would be good for gaming the stippers. Even if he was an arsehole and was mean to the girls you could sympathise with the girls and play good cop bad cop.

  10. Quote Originally Posted by Slacker30
    …dancers saw me as not after them. That I didn't see them as a sexual object like the owners, staff and customers do. Once the dancers who are attracted to you know you understand them and aren't phased by T and A, all of a sudden they want to hang with you, no gaming required.
    This is very much the way I see it. I always remember reading this book on Tao once and there was this bit about “contending without contending”. It has always been my method with women, rather than hit on them, I just hang out in my friendly somewhat-flirty kind of way and there are always women who want to hang out.

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