Creating a Lifestyle

A quality lifestyle will attract and keep quality girls in your life. Working on lifestyle outside of pickup is very important in attracting and keeping quality girls in your life. While working on your game is obviously important, you should also be spending time working on your life outside of game too.

The key is to build an attractive lifestyle, but what does that mean? When I first heard this, and what I think a lot of guys interpret this as, is meaning that you need to acquire a jet set type of lifestyle; with access to high value people and going to the highest end clubs, etc.

Luckily though, this is not the case. An attractive lifestyle is different for everyone; your attractive lifestyle will be different to mine and anyone else. You want to build a lifestyle for yourself that you’re proud of. This in turn will be a lifestyle that girls will want to be a part of.

Essentially there are two main aspects to your lifestyle that can be broken down a little further; the inner aspects and the outer aspects. The inner aspect is comprised of your values, attitudes, beliefs, etc. And the outer aspects are the parts people can see; your hobbies and interests, your career, and how you present yourself.

Are you living the kind of life you want for yourself?

Are you portraying the best of yourself to the women that you meet?

The inner aspects of your lifestyle comprises of:
  • Taking pride in yourself and your life
  • Living your life with passion
  • Working out who you are, what your values are, and being congruent with them
  • The outer aspects of your lifestyle comprises of:
  • Working on your health and fitness
  • Your image
  • Your career & Education
  • Your goals and ambitions
  • Your hobbies and interests

Lifestyle – The Inner Aspects
Take pride in yourself and your life
You want to always take pride in yourself and what you do in your life. This starts with your appearance, your health, and also how you approach the things that you do. Are you the kind of person that puts things off or doesn’t do everything with 100% conviction? Aim to always put in maximum effort at work and into the things that you do. Taking this approach bleeds into all areas of your life and it is an attractive quality to demonstrate. It will also put you in good stead in other disciplines besides just talking to girls.

Live your life with passion
A lot of people do not live their life with passion and tend to wander through life without any real purpose. There is a different energy exuded from people who do show passion, and it is such an attractive quality to have. Women will be drawn into that and definitely want to be around you if you’re living your life with passion.
Is what you’re doing in your life right now what you really want to be doing? Picture
One quote I really like that makes you think about how you’re living your life is from Steve Jobs; “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?". Whenever the answer has been ‘no’ for too many days in a row, I know something needs to change. This is really inspirational and if you ask yourself this question you will soon realise if you’re living your life with passion and doing what you really want to do.

Don’t be afraid to take risks and go for what you want in life. I used to play it really safe and was far from living my life with passion. I began to realise on my self-development journey, through quotes like this and from the mentors I had, that I was not living to my full potential or one which was in line with my passions. I began to change this and work towards what I was passionate about. Now I’m teaching guys how to improve their lives and working on my business so I can lead the life I have set out for myself.

Figure out what it is you’re really passionate about and really take the time to figure this out. Whatever your passions are, write them down and live your life in accordance with this. The difference in your life with women and in other areas will really show.

Work out who you are, what your values are and be congruent with them
Many guys do not take the time to figure out exactly what their values are and live by them. In order to express your personality and who you are to girls that you meet, you have to know this yourself.

I highly recommend that all guys sit down and write down their values and what they stand for. Dig deep here and really think about what means the most to you and what you’d want to be known for. Are you a family man, highly driven, ambitious, act in spite of fear or risk, don’t accept drama in your life? Whatever it is, write out your values and live your life by them.

This is about really finding out about yourself on a deep level and living in accordance with this. You change on a deep level too when you really figure out who you are and what values you want to live your life by. These values and qualities will begin to show in your body language and the way you carry yourself. It’s a highly attractive way of being and will make you that much more attractive to the women that you meet in your life.

Lifestyle – The Outer Aspects
Get fit – play sport or go to the gym
There are numerous benefits to playing a sport or hitting the gym. It will get you in shape and looking great, you’ll have much more energy and it will increase your testosterone, sexual drive (great for getting things done and to really add a different dynamic to your interactions with girls!), and improve your overall fitness.. Health is also one of the attraction switches for women so it’s important to take care of this. To add to the gym, it’d be a good idea to take a look at what you eat and make sure you’re getting plenty of the right foods to ensure optimal health and to get maximum benefit from your gym work. If you’re not hitting the gym, eating healthy still has many of the benefits listed above so it’s definitely worth taking care of.

Get your look and fashion sorted
This is an often-overlooked area for guys but is a very important area. Girls will make assumptions on you based on your first impression, made up of your; fashion, body language, how you hold yourself, and other such sub-communications. This impression will often be assessed within the first minute at the most of meeting you. Guys who are not taking care of these small details are missing out on bonus points and also missing out on the chance to portray themselves in the way that they want.

Are you dressed in the way you would like? Does your fashion meet your personality? If your look could do with some improvement then take the time to get this sorted. There are many resources to get your look sorted out. One of the best ways to begin is to take a look at celebrities who are dressed in a style that you like and work out what the different components to their look are. How are they putting their outfits together? Celebrities are not the only resource to use when looking for a good style though.

Anytime you see a guy really well dressed, whether in magazines, mannequins in shop windows or just a guy on the street, pay attention to what it is about their look that makes it work and have a go at mimicking this yourself. If it works for you too, then keep it, if not then try other things until you find a style that works for you too.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. Try out different styles and see how they look on you. You may be surprised to find something that you never thought you’d wear actually ends up looking really good on you. Try out different styles and slowly build up, piece by piece, an overall style unique to you.

Get new hobbies
You may already have plenty of hobbies and thing going on in your life, but it’s always worth trying new things as you could well find something that you love but never expected you would. You don’t need to have amazing hobbies here (like sky diving, or things like that), but as long as you have things that you’re passionate about and enjoy doing, then when you speak about these things to girls, you’ll be able to portray your passion about that particular hobby.

Becoming a ‘yes man’ and trying a bunch of new things is something I’d really recommend. When I was getting my life together, I tried all sorts of new things, some of them I didn’t really keep going with, but some became new hobbies that I loved doing. There’s a whole range of things here that you can do and you should really take a ‘try anything once’ attitude to the range of activities out there. From yoga and dancing to extreme sports, have a go at anything and see if you find new things to add to your lifestyle.

Be congruent with yourself
It’s very important to remember, while you build your new lifestyle, to keep everything congruent to your true self. While you want to be expanding your horizons and adding new experiences, you also want to remain congruent to yourself. If you’re doing something because you feel you need to in order to have a ‘cool’ lifestyle or to impress people, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Instead, whatever you do in your life must always be because you genuinely enjoy the activity. Never force change on yourself that isn’t truly what you enjoy otherwise this will come across as incongruent and won’t help you in attracting girls.

Ultimately, building a lifestyle is something you’re doing for yourself. Take the time to figure out exactly what kind of lifestyle you want to lead and go after it. That passion and drive you have when really going after your ambitions will be what others find attractive and magnetic. You’ll soon find that others want to be a part of your life when you have together a lifestyle that makes you happy and that you’re really passionate about.