Talking about STDS BEFORE the f close - Page 2

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  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Birthday View Post
    It isn't a cure just because the 'invention' is patented!

    You've fallen for internet quackery!
    The doctor tested it, which is how they know that it causes a temporary swelling of the liver.



  2. I'm like you TC. Best line is "I'm clean how 'bout you?" Ask it very non-accusatory too, and either escalate like the question was never asked or run out the fucking door.

  3. #13
    raymunds02 Guest

    need to be careful

  4. I stumbled upon this website randomly....I read this and some of the responses made me cringe...So, here's a female perspective (mine anyway)

    If a guy wanted to discuss cleanliness and stds before sex, it would be a very good sign that he cares. It would certainly not offend me. A few minutes of awkwardness is way better than some crappy and potentially seriously dangerous disease. A note on hpv- many women have it and many women have health problems from it. It's selfish to say it doesn't effect guys and not give it another thought.

    Ask. Pay attention to their reaction. Be safe.

  5. You say you've been with 5 women sexually. Well, how did you manage to bring it up with THOSE women?

    I know you said they were all either virgins, or only had 1 or 2 bf's before you (which means nothing, btw) but you still had to have the talk, right?

    Or did you just assume that because the girl said she'd only had two serious relationships before you, that she was automatically clean? How did this go?

    Also, having one or two serious boyfriends is NOT the same as having one or two SEX partners. Hate to be the one to tell ya, but there's always that guy from the bar, or the ex boyfriend she was still fucking five months after the breakup (WHILE he was sexing other girls, which puts her at risk) or a "friend with benefits" somewhere in the mix.

    If you're as paranoid as you say, her "word" won't be good enough. You'd need proof, such as test results.
    If you're NOT as paranoid as you say, why ask AT ALL?

    9 out of 10 women aren't likely to say "Oh, I'm glad you brought it up. I've had herpes & genital warts for a while now. I wasn't gonna mention it, but since you asked, I figured why not?"

    No, dude. It doesn't usually work that way.

    My advice: Stay protected, or have the same talk you had with your previous sex partners that put your worries to rest.

    But always remember: Her previous number of boyfriends or sexual partners means NOTHING!

    I know girls who've been with 100 guys and are still clean. (Even some who DIDN'T use condoms.) Whereas others have been with less than a handful and got burned. It's all about the luck of the draw, not how MANY you draw. Just be careful. A talk might make you feel more at ease (and if it does, go for it), but it's not foolproof.

    Lastly, if you still want to know HOW to ask her, without making things awkward, I'll tell you:

    You've played the whole "Let's ask each other questions" game right? (I ask you somethin, you ask me, we must be honest, etc.) Start off with regular questions. Go back & forth, getting more personal as the game goes on. Make "Have you ever had an STD?" one of the many questions you ask like it's NO BIG DEAL. (Throw it in the middle somewhere.) When she answers, don't miss a beat. Just continue with the game. That way, you have your answer, you feel better, and you can relax. Just remember, she could be lying, OR simply NOT KNOW about her STD status. That's why I say this convo isn't a perfect solution. But if it helps you, that's the way to ask.

  6. If a girl had a significant STD, it's her body, so you'd think she would know about it. In that case, if she's a responsible person, she will tell you about it without needing to be asked. If she's not a responsible person (or she's drunk or high or something) and she just wants to get laid, she won't tell you about it even if you do ask. So I don't see how having a convo her about this is going to help. Anyhow, hopefully a girl who knows she has a major STD is not likely to be banging guys unless she's psycho.

    If the girl has an STD and doesn't know it - this is the most likely scenario for the more minor STDs like warts or chlamydia, though also possible for HIV, there may be no noticeable symptoms - then asking her about it will not give you any help at all. It will, if anything, give you a false sense of comfort.

    If the girl doesn't have an STD, then I think the conversation is kind of offensive. It suggests you are weird or perhaps you have had experience of STDs in the past otherwise why would you be asking about it. Alternatively, maybe suggests inexperience on the part of the man.

    I simply cannot imagine a conversation which goes like this:
    Me: Hey HB, I like you and all but just before we get laid, tell me do you have any STDs? I like to be safe.
    Her: Oh yes, I was going to tell you, I have this genital wart right here ... so maybe I should just give you a blowjob, you know, to be safe and all.

    Best approach is to inform yourself about STDs, which ones can be cured easily and which ones are incurable, how they are transmitted, and which ones condoms give you full protection from, also what the visible symptoms are to look out for.

    I believe the commonest STDs are:
    1. Genital warts (HPV) - between 1 in 10 and 1 in 2 sexually active adults will have these, maybe less for teenagers who've had the vaccine
    2. Trichomoniasis - it's not too dangerous but it makes that 'fishy smell'
    3. Chlamydia

    The others are more scary, but much much rarer.

    This article is also interesting reading:
    Brazilian Bikini Waxes Make Crab Lice Endangered Species - Bloomberg

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Headman View Post
    If
    If the girl has an STD and doesn't know it - this is the most likely scenario for the more minor STDs like warts or chlamydia, though also possible for HIV, there may be no noticeable symptoms - then asking her about it will not give you any help at all. It will, if anything, give you a false sense of comfort.

    I simply cannot imagine a conversation which goes like this:
    Me: Hey HB, I like you and all but just before we get laid, tell me do you have any STDs? I like to be safe.
    Her: Oh yes, I was going to tell you, I have this genital wart right here ... so maybe I should just give you a blowjob, you know, to be safe and all.


    Best approach is to inform yourself about STDs, which ones can be cured easily and which ones are incurable, how they are transmitted, and which ones condoms give you full protection from, also what the visible symptoms are to look out for.
    Exactly my point in bold.

  8. #18

    Either put your bathing suit on and jump in the pool, or take the time to bring a little sceince into it and get the professionals with the thermometer to check the temperature first.

  9. Honestly STDs is a very serious matter and if your just honest and polite about it just ask her up front. Better to be safe than sorry! Also wear a condom...

  10. #20
    Join Date
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    This forum is not the place to give out medical advice. If anyone wants to learn more about which STDs are treatable or not, see your doctor.

    Having said that, the conversation you described would end in you not getting laid. You DO NOT ask a woman how many guys she's been with on the first date, and it doesn't matter. You can be with one guy and get an STD, or be with 30 and still be clean. Birthday's line is probably the best if you HAVE to bring it up, but in these cases it's easier to do a visual check and use a condom (have extra just in case, make sure they're not expired). There is always a risk involved, but sex is like driving. You can minimize the risk by driving safely, but it will always be there unless you abstain from driving altogether.

    Rogue
    When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums Admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.

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