How do I communicate my intentions?

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  1. #1

    How do I communicate my intentions?

    Hi guys,
    Sorry if I post this incorrectly. I did a search before using "relay and intentions" and found a good post on how to respond when a girl's best friend when she asks "do you like HB?" But my question is slightly different.
    I am a total AFC. I've had success approaching and getting numbers ... but I either end up in the "friend zone" or they don't call me back.
    But since reading the Mystery Method and being involved in Style's StyleLife Challenge, I went out on a date with this girl (a friend of a friend) and kiss-closed her. THen we hung out again and made out the entire time. And I'm supposed to see her again tonight.
    Here's the question. How do I get her to be my mLTR or FB, without getting pissed at me or pissed at my friend (who introduced us). I want to sleep with her. And she's cool enough that I would love to hang out with her too. But I don't want to be in a relationship with her, because I'm just now having success with pickup and I don't want to stop yet.
    Should I just come out and say "I really like you. And I'm looking for someone who's fun who I can hang out with this summer. But just to be clear, I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship in my life. I want to spend time with you, and I want to be clear about my intentions." Or should I say something less AFC.
    Also, should I say this before or after we've f-closed?
    Thanks for your help!
    hosspk (aka Phineas)



  2. Keep doing the stylelife challenge. Don't stop and focus on this one girl. Also you should probably just stick to seeing her once a week or so. Definately don't say what you were thinking about saying. It's way too early to even bring up a relationship.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Gender:
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    159

    Don't give her a big speech about how you don't want a relationship. For all that we know she may want a f-buddy anyway. Just don't call her every day and act like she's your GF. After you f-closed her, continue seeing her once in a while when you want sex. A few weeks will go by and she'll get the picture that she's your booty call and nothing more. Now if she does bring up the whole "I want a relationship" thing, only then you can say that you are not looking for anything serious, but still want to see her. Given that she always has fun with you, and your current "relationship" makes her happy, she won't have any objections to being your f-buddy.

  4. #4

    We hung out again tonight ... I just got back. No speech. We were making out like teenagers ... she started grinding my groin with her knee and I was playing with her boobs. But when I went under the shirt, she stopped me. I think she wants me to invite her to my place ... which is a MESS!!! So I have to clean up before Friday, which is when I'm seeing her next.
    But lots of making out in the cab to her place, where I dropped her off. She lives with roommates so I think that's why she doesn't invite me up.
    I guess I'll hold off on the "I'm not looking for a relationship" speech for now. Hope she takes it ok. Hopefully she's looking for an f-buddy.

  5. #5

    i just don't understand why you didn't get your place ready tonight. you knew you were gonna see her and knew that there was a good chance you'll be able to f*close, so why are subotaging yourself? you could have fucked her tonight, then friday, and go out sarging saturday!
    there are million things that can happen between today and friday that will prevent you from doing it. i hope it won't, and i wish you the best. but, if you wanna be a pua your place have to be ready every night. most importantly you have to believe that every night you may have an hb over.

  6. #6

    Messy place

    You're absolutely right. My place being a mess has harmed me and my roommate before. When I want to escalate, I can't because I can't say "let's go back to my place." My roommate has brought a few girls back when it was messy, and they all had LMR.
    I guess it's cleaning week this week.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Gender:
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Age
    39
    Posts
    1,000

    This thread is not a Relationship-specific thread. See the white bar at the top of the sub-forum that says relationships? After that it says:
    A place to discuss sticking points in relationships. Full-closing is a mandatory prerequisite!
    Thread closed. Follow the rules.

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