How To Pick Up Women At The Grocery Store - Situational Day Game Openers

I just came from the grocery store and used a PUA Day Game opener without even thinking of it, and that, like most things, has sparked this post.

When you're in a grocery store pick up situation, I tell guys that you can go either direct or indirect.

Some coaches out there prefer direct all of the time--it can work just fine in the grocery store--but I always try to make an interaction seem as natural and smooth as possible. Direct, while effective, can be kind of jarring also.

So in "closed environments" as I call them--where the girl isn't going anywhere anytime soon and there are people around--indirect can be a great choice. (Click on this link to be taken to a free video example of how to open indirectly in one of these situations.)

Grocery Store Pick Up

I don't think of openers as purely direct of indirect, night or day. I think of them as working on spectrum. Below is a diagram straight from my day game workshop handout. This is what I show right before I explain the three steps to using an indirect day game opener.


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The range of openers conveys your interest. I really love to go situational when I open. Girls can be super intuitive and when you send some signals they WILL pick up on them. They may not act on them, but they always know what you're doing.

So with that I love it when I can use situational openers. They convey enough interest that she can grasp the underlying frame and toss it back to me so we can banter and flirt, yet they are harmless enough that they don't force her to make a decision. (The classic/cheesy opinion openers convey zero interest, which elicits little or no intrigue from her. She has nothing to throw back at you. You have to plow into something else, and without her bantering back, this can become forced... In that case, I'd just rather go direct if I'm going to force the interaction forward. Anyway, this is kind of in-depth, more for the Lounge than my blog.)

Openers You Can Use In The Grocery Store

This is one that I use whenever I'm browsing for frozen stuff or when I can't decide, i.e. don't know, what to do with the vegetables I'm looking at:

"This is why I need a girlfriend."

Leave it hanging. Don't think that you need to ask a question. It's always better to use statements that elicit responses. (This is why cold reads are effective as transitions, by the way.)

She'll usually respond with:

"No, those can be good sometimes," or something like that. She'll then keep pretending to browse beside you for another second. If you're smart you'll follow it up.

You'll also get:

"You can't cook for yourself?" I'm fine with this one. She knows I'm flirting and is testing me to see if I can follow up the opener.

Here is another...

"I have seven children and three wives to feed... Do you know how hard it is to keep three wives happy?"

I use this when my cart is overloaded with stuff. Before I took this job I was definitely that dude who went down to the grocery store once every two weeks and loaded up on everything so I wouldn't have to go back.

"Winter's coming soon... You're never going to survive with just that!"

I've used this one, again, when my cart/basket is overflowing. I was trying to put something in it but couldn't find the space. This caught her eye. Again, this one is not about the opener, it's how you transition out of it. If you just say the opener and stand with a stupid grin on your face and expect her to carry the conversation, you're doing it wrong.

What I mean is you could ever say, "My eyes are going to be so strong after I eat these," as you pick up a bag of carrots--not that I'd recommend that--as long as you know how to transition. Openers aren't magical. They are just an excuse to get talking.

This principal applies in any situation or context. You just need to be on your toes with it.