STILL not over my ex. 7 mos later. WTF?
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  1. STILL not over my ex. 7 mos later. WTF?

    Seriously?? Fucking memories and visions of her haunting me morning, noon, and night. I've already "fucked ten other girls", read more pickup bullshit, read some amazing self help inner game books, am crushing it at work and am in the best shape of my life physically and socially. BUT there is no fucking escape. Nobody seems to do it for me like she did. The unanswered questions are driving me nuts. I have gone no contact (versus the pathetic late night drunk dial behavior early on). I keep feeling like emptionally i want her back so bad it hurts. I even understand why she left me. Because I was needy and had lost my edge. Gotten lazy. I worked to get the girl but then did not work to keep the girl. Now I swear the new me and the lessons I have learned would thrill her. But in order to let her even see this somehow i have to run into her or something. Fuck for all i know she has a new boyfriend. I mean why wouldn't she? She's fucking gorgeois and slices through men at her whim. Made a sex addict out of me. Always had me wanting. But do I even want to let this bitch have that power over me? I mean a frame is a frame bit men, tits are tits. This girl is so hot and I do not seem to be able to replace her. And i'm doing all the right stuff. I am still angry in there as well. But that is just my hurt and disappointment. Maybe I'm close to kicking this? They say the night is darkest right before the dawn. Maybe hold on just a little longer and it'll all make sense?

  2. Dude if you really did all this their would be no way you still wanted her. Get on with your life go meet a better woman.

  3. Easier said than done. I'm stuck in a rut. Things seem to be getting worse and not better. And that list of things I said I did, well yes I did really do them. I'm simply and legititely still in love with this girl. And it is quite real. I'm fucked. It won't go away.

  4. #4

    It's fucking tough - I'm going through the same shit as you. As you might know it comes and goes in waves. You can think one day; "Wow! I am actually over her now!" while in the night, you can't sleep, thinking about your exgirlfriend in all kinds of sexual positions. Her giving BJs to random dudes. Her being romantic with other guys. Your imagination is in "Overdrive-mode" and it seems like there is no off-button. Keep in mind though, it is ONLY your imagination! While you think she's on her knees giving head, she might just be reading a book and drinking tea...

    Next day, you might be depressed.... Then a while later, you feel wonderful; "Now I am over her for sure!"... Then a few days later, the same shit going through your head, jealousy, memories, wanting...

    Now, what I suggest is: Take a break from dating in your life! Take a, you put a date on, but I would say at least 14 days where you go totally cold turkey! Don't read self-help books, don't read pickup, don't go out to actually get girls. In fact; avoid approaches! Focus on only ONE thing: To have fun! Work out, NOT because you want to get girls; because you like it! Meet up with friends, NOT to get girls. Just to hang out. If you meet girls, just be casual and have a good time; don't think about them being with you in your bed! Also, in that period; avoid all kinds of porn. Even the FHM magazines, I know you read....

    After 14 days; ask yourself: How do I feel now?

    I don't know; but I suspect your mind is in overdrive, because you focus all your energy on picking up girls as a plaster on your wounds. Wounds have to heal, plasters will fall off. Wounds can only heal, if you don't rub them. Every time you tear the wounds open, you have to go through the healing process again.

    Oh, and of course, the essential; delete all pictures of her you have emotions attached to (yes, actually delete - also that backup I know you have somewhere, if she "maybe someday comes back") - throw out (or send back) all her gifts, cards, love letters, sweet teddybears - you name it. Look around in your house; is there something that reminds you of her? Get rid of it!

    Now you can start to heal; you will of course never forget her though, but you can move on.

    Good luck, and as I said; I am going through the same shit, so I know how you feel, and it is tough.

    - Mutual.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Encinitas, California, United States

    If you feel like you are shackled and just can't let go, you have two options, one is to just ride it out and eventually the pain will fade. The second option, it's faster, more painful and degrading, but it most definitely breaks the shackles. Here it is: grovel, whine, complain, beg, do everything you know you shouldn't do so you can get completely and utterly defeated and rejected. Make her burn that fucking bridge. If you really are that desperate for it to be done with, and can't wait and dont want to trust these guys here and just ride it out. Then blow it up. Get that hope erased.

  6. #6

    Definitely TheSteez

    Bytheway; SFF, did she ever give you closure? It is important, as TheSteez says, to get closure - she ows you that. She has to tell you directly that she NEVER, EVER wants to come back to you! If you don't get closure, it's hard to move on.

    Now it's 7 months ago.... It would be awkward to call her up - I think your closure lies in the time. 7 months, where she hasn't contacted you - let it go, man!

    But, alright, if you feel inside: "There is still hope!" do as theSteez says; You have to burn your bridges! She has to hit you hard; because it sounds like you have a little hope inside, and she never made herself clear.

    "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." - Red (Morgan Freeman)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2009

    Braddock has a good article about this on his blog. Go do a search for it. It had practical advice.

    GL dude. Hope things get better.

  8. #8

    One solution to your problem is focus. Learn to focus your mind, to completely obsess over something positive that requires 100% of your concentration. This could be meditation, writing, learning to play an instrument, whatever.

    Also, forgive your past self. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, wishing to prove how much better you are now - whether to her or yourself. You lost the battle but you haven't won the war - there will be other women, and you'll move on.

  9. Thanks guys. All really helpful.

  10. it takes time man for everyone it's different. You're not over her, so what? It doesn't stop you from living your life and enjoying other aspects right? So do that and let nature take its course. Don't stagnate and don't beat yourself up. You're normal


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