Good Date No Kiss
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  1. #1

    Good Date No Kiss

    this happened kind of recently. She was attracted before hand and made the conversation easy. There was a lot of awkward silence but she always stared at me and then said "sorry I stare a lot" and smiled and looked away every time. The conversation was mostly comfort, a very typical date as she kept asking me questions and we just swapped stories. She laughed a lot, Said "you're funny! ".

    Throughout there was playful touching like high fives, tripping, pushing, etc. She decided to take me to a movie after the initial bowling.

    I told her I had plans much later in the night to go drinking with friends (i did and didn't plan on sex). Told her I was a virgin and she was super (super) surprised. Like "whoa whoa what?" "no way". I said I was picky (I am, could have lost it to tons of girls that didn't meet my standards) She called me a unicorn (as in rare) and said "don't take this reaction in a bad way i just literally don't know anyone who is" but she also said "i'm kind of scared now, you dropped a bomb on me."

    The touching never moved past playful/friendly.

    When I dropped her off she said "get out and give me a hug" after joking about not having to walk her up. and I did and she gave me a huge hug. (huge).

    I went in for the kiss (like an idiot. i know you're not supposed to at the end of the night. when we were bowling she put on her lipstick really seductively. i just didn't want to reach over the table and have her reject me, way more awkward.)

    she kind of didn't react and I said "no?" like thinking "really? this has never happened to me" and she said no and giggled. I didn't move and kind of went back in (i honestly don't know why, very unlike me. was tired and wasn't thinking) and she turned her head. i pecked her cheek and she said thanks and giggled and went in for a second hug. I was in a daze, like really surprised that she denied it after she had so much fun, and she said thanks I had an awesome time and I just said "yea me to" kind of flatly. Not mad, just indifferent.

    She sent me a text like a minute later on my way home saying again how much she enjoyed it with a smile.

    What could I have done to make the kiss happen. I also didn't want to kiss her while bowling as she knew someone there and would have been the focus of attention but I definitely think she gave me the signal I was just too nervous and on the spot. It's so cliche and dumb to go for the kiss at the end of the night but the hug was really big and tight so I thought why the hell not. She did go inside pretty quick afterwards but everything else seemed really positive.

  2. 1. Don't tell girls you're a virgin. It doesn't matter. It has no impact except awkwardness. That's probably one of two reasons for no kiss at the end.

    2. The silence with eye contact was your queue to kiss her. I intentionally let the convo trail to open room for a kiss. She was inviting you by holding eye contact.

    3. I'd rather schedule another date and not try at the end then try another night.

    4. Physical escalation stayed friendly because you kept it friendly. It's your job to escalate.

  3. If you ever ever feel that nervous stomach twisting of wanting to kiss her in an awkward moment of silence, that's usually a shared chemistry and you just GO for it.

    Also always position yourself within kissing distance. Across from or cornered from a table is a shitty spot.

    Make tons of eye contact throughout. This will build tension.

    When that convo stopped, like I said, she was basically asking for a kiss.

  4. #4

    So don't go for the kiss on date 2 or just don't go for it at the END of date 2?

    And yea someone once told me that if you're going to tell a girl you're a virgin just say so as soon as sex talk comes up and get it out of the way. I like being up front about that stuff as it takes the pressure off me. This was my first legit date and I was super nervous. She said a couple times that her reaction wasn't bad she just was really surprised.

    And I know it's my job to escalate. I just chickened out. Do you think it would have been a good idea to go for the kiss over the table? I would have had to stand up to reach her and had she rejected me it would have been 10 times more awkward lol.

  5. Agree with warrior there's no need to tell her your a virgin unless it's something you want to do it's just labelling something that should not be a deciding factor for her on whether she sleeps win you or not.

    Perhaps a more intimate setting for your next meetup may hell you secure your kiss like your house or hers.

  6. Prob best not to have gone for the over the table kiss, sounds like it went ok and you had a good time hats what matters anyway. Good luck on your next meet up!

  7. #7

    Thanks! Yea I feel like she may have felt bad for rejecting the kiss because she sent me that text like a minute later after telling me over and over how she had a great time.

    I'm still nervous as shit about asking her for a 2nd date even though it went so smoothly. I have to be honest. I think I'm scared to have sex. I'm worried I won't perform or something. That's why I wanted to tell her I was a virgin because I guess, being honest, it made me feel like if I was bad she would just attribute it to being my first time and be cool about it.

  8. I remember many years ago I dropped this girl off and tried a kiss and didn't work out so in the end I just left it a few days and started with a fresh mindset and it all worked out the next time we met.

  9. #9

    What about the sex part, if she wants to go for it. How should I approach it (with what mindset)? I have never done it and I'm honestly very very nervous. I really don't want to be bad or get off in like 30 seconds hahaha. And how long should foreplay last on average, what should you do during that, etc.

  10. Quote Originally Posted by Vigilant View Post
    What about the sex part, if she wants to go for it. How should I approach it (with what mindset)? I have never done it and I'm honestly very very nervous. I really don't want to be bad or get off in like 30 seconds hahaha. And how long should foreplay last on average, what should you do during that, etc.
    The big key to lasting longer is not to just pound her out. You don't want to repeat what you see in a porno video where they're slamming as hard and fast as possible. That's a recipe for a quick get off for a beginner. Also, don't think about it too much. Worry or stress is an evolutionary reason to get limp dick, because these are usually indicators of a threat and the body needs to prepare to defend asap. It has two options to quickly prepare for defense... Ejaculate super fast, or just lose the erection all together.

    In other words, close your eyes and clear your mind.

    Beginner tip... Take the tip of your dick and trace it along her vagina. One, this is a common technique to get your dick wet to make it easier to get in, and two, if you just "follow the line" you'll always end up at the hole, so to speak. Don't fumble to try to stab it in and look a fool.

    Foreplay is easy. It doesn't have to be this big story ordeal or tons of shit. While making out, rub her outside her clothes. If this seems painful, she may not be wearing underwear so in that case just slide your hand in. Otherwise, you'll be able to feel when she gets wet. The pants and underwear will start to slide, and you may even feel her get wet through the clothes. When you feel that, you can slide your hand in.

    You don't necessarily have to finger her at this point. Just press your hand firmly over her, with your fingers over the opening and make a full handed, slight "come here" motion. This is a big tease and turn on with no penetration or fingering, and you'll quickly feel her get very wet in your hands. Now you're ready to follow the line.

    Most men have trouble getting off with a woman on top, and most women get off very easily on top, so don't be shy about tugging her on top of you. It'll probably be easier for you both.

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