Attraction advice... !?
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  1. Attraction advice... !?

    Sup' guys! New here so how are you all!? Need some awesome advice!

    So I need some help building some attraction here with my ex (we split on good terms, and I want her back) It ended because I done the standard 'too needy' thing, but yeah, I won't be acting like that again any time soon, I've learnt my lesson. Anyways, haven't spoken to her for a while until a few days ago...

    (back up info: I'm a musician, and wrote her a song when we where dating, but never sent it to her cos we split, she was really keen to hear it, but I held back purposely to get her interest in it a little. It's a happy/uplifting track, not a sad soppy love song)

    Right I'm trying to be my normal fun going/little bit teasing self, to spark up some attraction again...

    Time between each message (1 day)


    'Remember I said I wrote you a song? Wanna hear it? You do, cos it's a hit.
    [download link]'


    Aw that's really awesome! Thank you! Hope you're ok and well x


    Awesome huh. It's gonna be released soon - don't worry, no one will ever know it was written for you. I won't tell if you don't x


    Aw embarrassed of me now hey :P x

    And I'll reply tomorrow. So, any suggestions on a mind blowingly awesome thing to reply to that, that makes her want me that little bit more? I'm thinking a cocky 'How did you guess? x' then letting her have the last word and waiting till she contacts me. Or bringing up something funny/embarrassing she done in the past, in a flirty way.

    She seems to like a bit of a challenge/mystery in men, so that's what I am trying to do....

    Ahhh, love - tis' a complex game eh (but fun)

    Cheers guys!


  2. #2

    If you want the text game to continue, stop putting an x at the end of your conversation. It seems like it marks the end of the discussion. (Personal opinion anyway)

    Bringing up something old sounds fine, but dont reminise on the past too much. You want to progress things forward, and get a meet up.

    Dont flirt to heavily, and make it look like you are interested. That could definitely scare her off if she isnt in the same place that you are. Get the meet up as friendly, fun, and casual. Make sure you do something you havent really done a lot before, or even at all.

    Also, make sure something about you is different... Wheather is be new clothes, new haircut, confidence... whatever, just make sure you arent the exact same person that she broke up with last time, or else history will repeat.

    YOU CANNOT BE NEEDY in any way - I know you know this, I just wanted to confirm your belief. If you appear needy at all, it will kill it.

  3. Cheers bro, some sound advice there!

    She's a tricky one because she's quite a closed person, and needs more time than the regular girl. That's why I need to tread carefully, and create some attraction so SHE asks to meet me, just not really sure how to go about it just yet, hence my posting. Her last bf treated her like absolute shit (cheating etc) so yep, I hear ya, I do need to keep it light and friendly.

    Amen to the being needy! I just need to put that across to her, without actually saying it, if that makes sense. The trouble I'm having now is making her WANT to meet up, and her initiating it (which I want her to do). If you have any tips on that please do fire away!

    I'm pretty new to this kinda stuff but it's coming quite naturally, so thanks for the help

  4. So Portrait,

    I have a few comebacks in mind - I'll fire em off to you, and you can give me your wise words of wisdom if you could be so wise!?

    The reply (drum-roll)

    1. 'Embaressed writing a song about a girl with a TOWIE obsession more like' - (TOWIE is a REALLY crappy/bad UK reality show that she loves)
    2. 'How did you guess?' - a little more arrogant/flirty (possibly too much?)
    3. 'Am I simple?' - Referencing a time when she said the phrase 'am I simple' while having her arms bent up in a weird position on the bed (this made us laugh ALLOT haha)

    Which one do you prefer, sir?

    I know this probably comes across to you as me thinking to much about the simplest thing such as a reply, but hey, I'm willing to see where this could go...

  5. #5

    My text game is not overly strong. I am much more of an in the moment kind of guy, so I always rather get a girl on the phone than text...

    Dont over think to much - Any of those responses seem fine. however, with them you also risk the chance of the conversation running into a dead end (which I think this joke might have climaxed already).

    I would possibly move the conversation along, and just ignore her request about being embarassed. "mmm :P. then move the conversation forward"

    Remember, each text should have a purpose. ATM these texts are really just general chit chat. They will get boring VERY quickly, and depending what type of mood she is in, it could die very suddenly, then you dont want to have to appear needy again, by sending two texts in a row to get a conversation started again.

    I would just go for the call after this text - "mmm :P, - I'm going to call you later to get your opinion on X" SPeak to you around 8. This is escalating the situation from texting, to talking. She will remember your voice etc tonality... be up beat, jot down a few things to talk about to steer the conversation in the direction you want. Dont let there be awkward silences, or let it get into a serious talk about "us" or how you used to be or anyhting like that.

    You want her thinking you are happy with out her.

  6. Again, super advice dude.

    Hmmm, I think it's possibly too soon for a phone call, I'm thinking that should come in a few more weeks if she initiates contact. I'll would go for the '"mmm :P. then move the conversation forward" But I still think it's too early to start real conversation... I just wanna leave her hanging a little. I am happy without her, but I would like her in my life. After this little exchange, if she texts in a week or so, then I'll do the whole phone call thing to push it forward.

    You know, I would buy you a beer mate for taking the time out to respond to my posts, but seeing as you are in Australia - no chance

  7. #7

    I will be expecting a six pack in the mail :P

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by JMW View Post
    Aw embarrassed of me now hey :P x
    Tough to say since I don't know you enough to give you something congruent to who you are, but I would probably say something like - "Oh, I've always been embarrassed by you. You didn't know that? But there must be something endearing about your dorkyness. I mean, I'm still talking to you. Hey, let's meet up later this week, it would be good to catch up with you again."

    - M

  9. time_for_adventure - mate that would have been a great reply, but the convo has already ended (which I wanted it too) now I'm on her mind, I will be sending this text on Monday - Want to get her to come to mine next weekend, but need a killer invite. I'm not sure if this is good enough....? Any suggestions win more free beer! Wohoo

    'Hey, I have a free house this weekend, I know how much you love my cooking & it would be a shame to waste that amazing skill on myself. Come over x'

    P>S You Australians with your amazing weather - you should try England, 3 months of shite rain, rain and more rain. Olympics will be underwater.

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