Thread: Need Social Help ASAP
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07-17-2012, 08:26 AM #1
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
So I'm in a pretty rough situation right now. I'm 21 and going into my senior year of college at a major university and I just got dropped by the girl I dated for two years. As I've recently come to admit to myself, she pretty much just used me for attention. It's a pretty painful thing, especially because I was so wrapped up in the relationship. So much so that I don't really have any friends at school. Now I'm alone and depressed and the thought of going back to school scares the hell out of me because I have no social framework whatsoever. My confidence and self esteem are completely shot and I don't know where to begin to socially pick myself up. Any advice on where to start looking for friends as well as girls?
Need Social Help ASAP
07-17-2012, 02:57 PM #2
I have been through exactly what you are going through. Here is how I dealt with it:
GF and I broke up - I spent most weekends with her, several week nights, and let a few mates slip by the way side when we where together. She ended the relationship, and I was crushed. No confidence, no self esteam, sad a lot, all the crap that comes with a break up.
That weekend - Big bender with my buddies. Went out, had drinks with my mates on the weekends. Went out to bars/clubs and just socialised. The best thing you can do right now to get back into the game, is get back into the game! If you lack confidence, liquor is a great bandaid! I went out, got drunk and found it a lot easier to talk to everyone. I had a good friend with me, who is a bit of a natural, and has no AA. He just dragged me into sets, and after 2-3 successful sets, my confidence was starting to come back, and I was feeling significantly better about myself, and my social abilities. (note: I am not a social retard either, I am very comfortable socialising after that initiate set).
My advice would be to do the same. Keep yourself busy. You are at college, so there are ALWAYS social functions on. Even guys you dont know that well, you can easily just score yourself an invite to a party they are going to, or a club, etc. Get out and about. If you arent comfortable talking, havea few drinks with your buddies, and you will find that words spit out there is no tommorrow. Once you have a few successful sets, you will start to get your confidence back.
One good set can make everything else seem a lot better.
If you dont have a great group of social male friends, then make some. Making male friends is VERY simple. Join a club, or chat to guys in your classes. You will find common interests pretty easily (Girls, Cars, sports are all easy topics). Its easy to invite yourself out with guys if they are going to club. Most people dont really care, and its not concidered really rude if you are just heading out. Or, invite them over to your place for pre-drinks. Buy a slab of beer and you are golden.
If you have mates you havent seen in a while, hit em up for a beer. Reunions are great after a break up to get you up and about and reconnecting with old mates.
Its important to also keep yourself busy. Work out, and make sure you are feeling good about yourself. If you are going to meet new people, you cant be all emo about it. You have to be up and about and having a good time. If you sit there and moap about your girlfriend leaving you, then people wont really want to hang around you. Gym, eat well, join a club, all keeps you busy.
07-19-2012, 04:28 AM #3
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Thanks for the feedback! It's been a rough last couple weeks. I've managed to go out a few times with some friends and I had a good time. But I still feel like I'm missing something. I think it's just a rebound though so that's normal I guess. I'm the same way in that I get a little anxious about opening, but I'm good at socializing after that. And I agree-alcohol definitely does the trick in terms of loosening up. Now I have my eye on a HB9 who is a friend of a friend but I feel like I've been out of the game for so long that I'm pretty rusty. Not to mention that I don't have much social value. We'll see how that goes.|
07-19-2012, 01:31 PM #4
Dont worry about it mate. If you fuck up, its just a learning experience.
If she is in your social circle (friend of a friend) then that already gives you social value. So you are fine there.
Just make sure when you see her you are social with everyone, and not just cling to her.
You will pick it up again pretty quickly mate. If you are naturally social, the best thing you can do, is just start talking to people.
I did a telemarketing job once for a few months - I was amazed at how easily it helped me go from a shy guy, with only a few close mates, and never really went to parties/clubs etc... to going out most nights, parties every weekend, talking and mingling with everyone. Changed me in about a month I think.
However, once I stopped, I was a lot less talkative etc and went back into my shell until I found Seduction.
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