Advice needed from older, more experienced guys. Playing the "social theater"
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  1. Advice needed from older, more experienced guys. Playing the "social theater"

    first I just want to say I really like this forum. I just accidentally googled one of your articles, and since than I started a Journal in the Field Reports section called MY SUMMER JURNAL. I've made incredible progress in just 3-4 days. But there is one thing I am stuck on.

    I realized, that when you go outside, try to get girls or even talk to your male friends you have to play this "social theater". I have always thought that it is immature and unnatural to act this way, but when you play this theater, everything is just going well, compared to when people find you boring with your logical thinking.

    But I have a tendency to slip back and stop playing the theater sometimes, because I am not totally convinced it is the right thing.
    I want to ask you, more experienced people, do you also have this feeling like you are playing a social theater when you are outside? Do you think it is necessary to play the theater till the rest of our life? Is it really that important in life???
    I am ready to start playing this "social theater" every day from now on, I just need words from someone more experienced to assure me.

    Thanks for the reply, Also feel free to check my blog, it's full of my deep thoughts

  2. First of all, I think you would benefit from discarding the term "Social theatre" completely.
    The term itself is fine - it will just keep you in the wrong frame of mind with the wrong focus - and here is why:

    We are not BORN with social skills - itīs something we learn, or donīt learn.
    Some may have a genetic disposition that helps developing social skills, but we all have to actually LEARN and REFINE them in order for them to serve us well.
    Good leaders arenīt born - they have studied leadership. Great PUAs arenīt born - they have opted to improve and use their social abilities to get attractive women.

    And like ANY skill you want to learn, that skill wasnīt part of your personality when you started learning it.
    Much like a special saw wasnīt part of your toolkit before your purchased the saw.

    But once you see the use of getting a saw for your toolkit, and learning how to use it - you will also discover that you feel uncomfortable, awkward and lost the first times you try it out. You are out of your comfort zone, and in the learning zone. You are developing a new skill that you didnīt use to have.

    So saying that you are "not born to be sawing" or "playing the saw theatre" is not accurate. You are simply LEARNING to use the saw.

    The exactly same can be said for learning the "social theatre".
    It is not theatre - itīs merely being out of your comfort zone trying to learn a new skill set.
    And using Lovesystems or any other new method out there is all about adopting it to YOUR strengths and weaknesses. Itīs not about changing your DNA or becoming someone you are not. Itīs about being who you are PLUS an extra set of skills.

    So, "social theatre"? Not so much. Only if you choose to lose yourself and indiscriminately adopt everything and anything other people tell you.

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