A Wedding with the Ex-Gf
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  1. #1

    A Wedding with the Ex-Gf

    I am going on about 4.5 weeks of being broken up with my gf of 3 years. It has been some of the roughest days for me but I am really starting to get stronger everyday. Anyway, we went through stages of talking and not talking and most recently we have been talking either text or phone usually daily.

    I'll cut to my point --- mutual friend's wedding is this wkend. We decided that we would go together (I know this could be a bad idea, I know). Anyway, I will know a lot more people there than she will and as a result I will have to introduce her to people that I know. What do you guys recommend for the best introduction. Hi XXX this is my "friend Jessica" ex-gf "Jessica". Im pretty much going for the Shock Factor TO HER (like the I'm over you etc etc) yet not trying to be an asshole at the same time. Suggestions on a good intro? Anyone have experience with something similar?

  2. #2

    ohh.. This has disaster written alllllll over it.

    Regardless, I wouldnt try playing tie jealousy game by introducing her as My Ex Jessica, or Friend Jessica. If anything, just say, Hi John, This is Jessica, Jessica, this is John... I wouldnt bother with a title.

    The best way to act like you dont give a shit, is to not give a shit. To just act as if you arent phased by the fact you broke up. If you introduce her just as 'Jessica' then you are acting unphased, and moving on then she will read into that and be more curious than if you said 'This is my ex Jessica' just to rub it in her face.

    Honestly, I wouldnt try rubbing it in her face. If you both are going, and both set to spend time together there, then just enjoy her company. Meet other people, and just try to enjoy yourself without worrying about her.

    Whenever I introduced my ex to people, I just said 'Hi This is Name' - Didnt put a title down. Saves a lot of complications. If you start labelling people, they get shitty if its not the label they want.

  3. #3

    Sounds pretty beta and passive aggressive. I'm sure it'll be pretty transparent. Most women are socially calibrated quite a bit higher than the majority of men. She'll sniff out your bad behavior and be offended rather than shocked or upset that you've moved on.

    A better way to show your independence is by being the fun guy at the reception. Dance with everyone, make jokes, have fun with your friends. Be the life of the party without her. Like you said, you'll know more people there, it shouldn't be hard to have a good time, DHV, and build social proof.......It sounds like you're still very emotionally involved and not over this chick, even with is alternative strategy you might come off as a try hard.

    As for introductions. "Hi everyone, this is Jessica. Jessica, this is everyone". If they're curious, they'll prod for more info. At that point a, "We dated for a while" would suffice." Or let her answer, she's a big girl.

  4. #4

    Just agree to not argue about the relationship at the wedding and get drunk until after the wedding, in the hotel room...on another floor.

  5. Yeah, don't go into this playing games. For one thing, it's someone else's wedding and you should try to be a drama-free guest. For another, you probably wouldn't like it if she tried to do the same kind of thing to you. Focus on being legitimately over it rather than looking like you're over it. And don't forget you dated this girl for years and it would be lame if you didn't care about her at all after that. You're gonna sit through a wedding with her and the implication is that you're trying to handle things maturely, so embody that. Just use this event to show her that you care but have let go of being in a relationship with her, take the high road.

  6. #6

    I wouldn't introduce her at all- the friend being married is mutual. She should be able to introduce herself. You will likely be sat at the same table at the reception- ask your friend if you can be sat elsewhere, otherwise just plan on sitting only for the toast and the meal. Otherwise, make your rounds, hit the bar, dance, or hang outside with the smokers. I'm against you introducing her because you might be able to hook up with a bridesmaid, and even introducing someone in the "Hi ___, this is Jessica" method can cause people to assume you're an item. Let her fend for herself, she is among mutual friends so all should be well. Stay strong, brother.

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