Vent and Future Focus
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  1. Vent and Future Focus

    Worst year ever, I mean I'm here, never knew about this kind of stuff.
    4+ Year girlfriend I invested far too much in (read areas about mistakes about feeling a girl is irreplaceable, deep shit is right)
    Now left me on Christmas day for another guy, drug out it out recontacting me through Valentine's day, all along the usual shit with this guy is happening (including facebook status 'relationship')
    I have not talked to her or looked anything up on her for 2 months now and it is no better. Not helping that I have absolutely nothing going on, new place, no friends, no activities, hardly a job; all the while I can only think of the disgusting sweat between their bodies.
    Now I'm desperately trying to find social contact, obviously sexual preferentially, the whole rebound I'm missing out on.

    But here's the problem; nothing going for me in my life, no value, no confidence. shit.
    I mean, fuck this forum, where's the gun? Therapy is probably in order but wtf do they do.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    San Jose, CA

    dude, getting a meaningful hookup/dating..etc is a by-product of your life-style. think about it

  3. I know.. just not sure where to start I suppose. so low and unmotivated yet hating it. hit bars by myself?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    San Jose, CA

    In my opinion, you should

    (1) build or re-build a social circle. such as going to attend local community college class...etc
    (2) fast boost in hook up such as via online dating...etc (inner game will boost by it and social circle expand...etc)
    (3) yes you can hit bar by your self but the question is do you have enough will power and work ethic? If not, make sure to get a wing in our find-you-wing section of this forum
    now, i don't recommend that personally because i like to choose wing in-field after i saw him performing exceptional well. that help me alot more in the long run. Most of the guy in this forum is starter and they expect you to help them out if you get a chance to hang out with them

    preferably all of above in simutaneously fashion

  5. 1: totally agree, was looking into volunteer opportunities, got one that was not socially successful, need to practice being more attractive for conversation or anything I guess; will be starting school this summer again I hope
    2: this has always been awkward for me, I've never been a big 'ask to hang out' (confidence?)type, which is why I now hang out with no one now that my social circle is gone..
    3: will power hell no, I'd rather fall asleep without a morning. work ethic possibly.. but faking it is getting harder everyday. getting more irritable, impatient, you know ._.

    Really though, this whole 'game', I have never tried, it was always just natural within my social circles, which is now forgotten.
    Life is long like this..

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Silicon Valley

    Ok, you need to go up Maslow's pyramid of needs here:

    1.) Take care of the most important thing: your body. Work out regularly, get 6-8hrs sleep per night (no more, no less), drink water, watch what you put in there. Nothing will take you down faster than sleep deprivation, lack of exercise, and eating shit. This seems to be one of the most basic things people forget, but you'll be amazed how much it'll help if you just take care of yourself.

    2.) Establish stability. If your job isn't cutting it, see if you can get another one, apply for a promotion, or make things better at work. It's a lot easier to go out and meet people when you're not worried about the bills.

    3.) Pick up new activities. Volunteering is good, is good, basically anything to get you out of the house. You need to get over the awkwardness of talking to people. What's the worst that can happen: they reject you? So what, move on to the next person and eventually you'll find a group that likes you. Life is too short to hide in the house.


  7. #7

    These guys are giving you good advice. My 2 cents would be this: Do not expect instant gratification. That will leave you with feelings of having not accomplished anything. You will end up back to being depressed and having made 0 progress. Instead, look at where you are at now regarding health, wealth, fulfillment of heart and start to improve in all areas. Once you begin noticing improvements you will start to feel better.

    Success builds confidence. Start allowing yourself to be successful and build up your confidence levels. Then slowly start challenging yourself more and more.

  8. I really appreciate the help everyone; these nights (saturdays) are the worst nights but you're right I need to just focus on improvements and they will come..
    I have always had a hard time managing my time / responsibilities effectively, anyone know a good time management method / program? Now is a time better than any to get it down pat I suppose.

    Definitely heading to, see what that's about, check out craigslist for volunteer stuff, and get back on exercise.. stay on it. Have picked it up (somewhat inconsistently..) since the event, could probably use it at those times at night when warheads are going off in my head.

  9. K so I'm slumping backwards, not getting forwards.
    Need to refocus.. If only I could not be distracted by nostalgia while trying to take care of myself (which makes me want to just kill myself, rather than heal)
    So.. I guess I need to restructure my diet. I don't eat often, hardly once a day. I will start google'ing a raw/natural food diet, hopefully simple and cheap and nutritious.
    I'm trying to stick with a simple work out routine; pushups, situps, curls.. not much motivation to do much more. I attempt 3 reps of each a day. minimum 20 pushups / rep, 50 situps, 30 curls.
    I need to get back on top of work, simple at home job I need to just get out of the way as soon as it is assigned.
    Going through the motions is...

    still alone, haven't been out to meet new people / women, but I don't think I would really pull any tricks off anyway.

    4 months as of today.

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