Odd Behavior Analysis
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  1. Odd Behavior Analysis

    What is a girl thinking if she says she "needs space" and proceeds to block your IM's right then and there, followed by a month of mutual no-contact, then she unblocks you but maintains no contact?

    My situation:

    I beta-backslided during a stressful month and was too clingy/needy. That's really not me, and was the first time it happened in my life, but I had a sort of mid life crisis and everything simply fell apart.

    She said she needed space and blocked me on MSN. It hurt, but I maintained no contact. This was March 8th. Her birthday was April 3rd so I tried to call her April 1st since I knew she'd be free that day. She did not answer my call, but she did unblock me that night on MSN.

    Since she unblocked me, I waited until her birthday and tried to call her one more time. She did not answer so I simply texted her "Hope you have a great birthday!". Something simple. Since then, she has not replied with a "Thank you", or a "Hope you're doing well" or anything. She's unblocked me, but maintains no-contact.

    I've tried to analyze why she would do this, making sure not to act beta and spam her, pull her, or beg. I've maintained my self control and not said anything further than the one "Happy Birthday" text.

    I can come up with two theories, and I would like to ask the dating community for their feedback and advice.

    #1. She's testing me. She cut me off immediately after our incident with no warning, and she might or might not regret her decision. The only reason she unblocked me is to see if I'll spam her or beg so she can rationalize her decision. Unfortunately for her, I won't. Acting beta was a temporary screw up, and she is beneath me. The only reason I've invested further time into her is to learn about her overall behavior for my own intellectual desires.

    #2. She's uncertain. She's beta, and she's not sure if I'm okay. She has enough worries in her life already and now that she's spent some time apart from me, she still cares for me, but she's not ready to come back.

    All she's heard from me since she blocked me is "Hope you have a great birthday!". I've signed in chat a couple times when she's online and she "goes away" until I go away, then she turns back to green. It does create the impression she's still avoiding me, when she's green and I go green she immediately (not logically) goes yellow. But when I go yellow, she'll wait a bit then go green.

    She's not as computer savvy as I am, so she probably doesn't know I understand what she's doing. Still, the odd behavior is:

    Why add me back if she doesn't want to talk? Confirm #1? She's just testing me to ease her mind for the abrupt cut off? If she was still interested in me at all in any way, wouldn't she at least send one reply "Thank you" or "Hope you're feeling better now".

    I appreciate the time you took to read that. I'm interested in what the community thinks about this behavior.

  2. #2

    To me it sounds like:
    1) She unblocked you because she probably FORGOT that you were blocked in the first place. Think about it, she unblocks you after you text her that stuff. Ya she probably forgot you were blocked and after getting the call and text thought "oh shit that guy... totally forgot". OR, perhaps she knew all along, and that was the tipping point for her to unblock but she's not going to be the one to make the outreach to message you first.

    2) Not talking to you on MSN and playing the "away/online" bullshit. Clearly realizes you're there. Wants you to message her first. She doesn't want to be the one to message you first. That's IF she wants to talk to you at all (probably does because she did unblock you afterall). As far as going away/online, probably doesn't want YOU to think that she has no life and that she's "online" msn all day. So that when you say "hey i see you online all the time but never say anything" she can say something like "oh i just leave it on, I'm not actually on here all day long with no life or anything, that's why it's set to away. because I'm not really there". We know she's on there.

    3) How old is this bitch? Like 20? She's acting like a teen/young adult who doesn't have her act together. You're hitting mid-life crisis? Dude, if she's in her early to mid 20's, and you don't want to deal with this bullshit behavior, I suggest going for older girls. I know it's so tempting to go after young sluts half your age (Hey, I still bag girls 17+ and I'm 28, and it's not going to stop. I'll deal with the shit to get the younger attractive girls over the girls my own age who tend to be washed up and fat).

  3. #3

    It's over. She's an immature brat and doesn't have the backbone to tell you flat out how she feels. IMO this relationship is over and you should move on and completely forgot about her.

    Allowing someone to treat you this way is NOT something you should stand for or get used to. Get mad and cut her out of your life completely. Go find someone who is capable of communicating as an adult.

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