Is she really into me?
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  1. Is she really into me?

    Hello, new here. Wanted to tell my story and ask some questions. If it's long or novel like, sorry, but here are the details. I've been out of the dating scene for 13 years... so need some guidance.

    Im from Southern NJ. I met a girl on an online dating site who lives in NYC, about 2 hours away or so. She gave me her number, I called her and she was on her way to a conference but said she could talk. We chatted for about 30 minutes, she said she was late and would call me back later around 10PM. I got a call back around 11:20PM and we ended up talking about a ton of stuff until about 12:40. We agreed to meet in NYC on Sunday for lunch.

    I called the day before to confirm, and she found a place where she knew the owner... a nice Spanish restaurant and we would meet at 11AM. I got there at 10:50 and sent a text, she said she was in the area looking for parking. About 5 minutes after 11 she pulled up to the front and asked if I'd just like to hop in and help her find something. It's either ballsy or considerate to let a stranger in your car... I took it as considerate and she didn't want me to be standing out there by myself. I gave her a complement just saying "you look nice".

    We ate lunch, and had lots of good conversation. They had endless memosa's for $9 each... so we each had four of them. I gave her a second compliment on her name, it was really unique and we talked about it for about 5 minutes. Lunch lasted until 2:30, so a little less than 3.5 hours. The last hour she was playing with her hair and smiling a lot. She did a bunch of nice things for me, even served me a helping of the desert we ordered. When we left I was about to get back on the subway since I took the train in. She asked if she could just give me a ride to the train station about 20 minutes away (I thought that was really cool of her). Walking back to her car she walked really close and brushed shoulders several times. I was being a gentleman so I didn't try to grab her hand or kiss her.

    In the car she pointed two things out around the city and put her hand on mine each time. When she dropped me off we gave each other a kiss on the cheek and she said to call her. About 20 minutes after I left the train station I got a text saying she made it home and she had a good time. I responded saying I did too and I'd like to see you again. She replied saying me too and to call her. I told her I'd call this week.

    I spent that day trying to figure out when to call her next. Eventually I said... the hell with it I like her and I'll text her tomorrow. So, I sent her a text around lunch time to say hi and ask her how her day was and that I had a really good time yesterday. She said she was busy, but she was happy to hear from me. She followed that with a wink. I sent back that I really enjoyed talking to her and asked if she was free tonight or tomorrow. She said tonight was good. I called her around 9:30, she didnt pick up so I left a voicemail. She texted me back saying sorry she missed my call but she was watching the game (final four) and didnt hear her phone ring, but would call me tomorrow. I sent a text back saying no worries, have a good night and talk to you tomorrow. She also wrote back have a good night too.

    She called me the next day on her lunch break while she was walking to get lunch. We talked for about 30 minutes, I told her that she was really thoughtful and she did a lot of nice little things for me on Sunday which she seemed to like to hear. I also said that she had an amazing smile and I was thinking about that too. I asked her when I could see her again... and she said she hasfriends visiting for a week and will be busy but should be free the next Sunday (like 12 days away) and that she would even come down my way. She said but lets make sure we talk in the meantime. Then she said she had to go eat and asked if she could call me back.

    It hasn't been long, a day and a half, but I haven't heard from her. So, now I'm just wondering... my questions are:

    Should I wait for her to call me?
    If I do call her, she called me on Tuesday, how long should I wait?
    Should I start with a text instead asking how her day is?
    I gave her about 4 compliments and she hasn't given me any (this doesn't bother me). But she has said she had fun and she'd like to see me again. Am I overdoing the compliments? They are genuine.
    Is she into me, or still trying to figure it out?

    I don't want to play games, because I do like her... but I also don't want to be too much for her. And I don't want too much time to pass that she may lose interest. Just looking for advice on what to do to make sure I get that second date 12 days from now.

  2. #2

    First off, yes you're overdoing the compliments, lay off those until she gives you a reason. Second, being a gentleman is lame, she wanted you to kiss her you should have. However she seems to be ok with it. Wait for her to contact you and don't be too available for her, 12 days is a long time so you have to make sure to not talk too much. Keep a little mystery going.

  3. #3

    Just play it cool man.

  4. #4

    ^^ Everything he said. You ever heard "nice guys finish last". There is a reason for that. Hb's have plenty of guys to tell them how hot they are, pretty there smiles are, its all uneccessary.

    I'm not sure here, but I'm willing to bet she is the only girl you are talking to. Thus all your energy and attention is focused on her, thats a no no. I understand you like her *cough* oneitis *cough*, but game some others girls in this time where you won't be able to see her for 12 days. Don't waste 12 days and don't wait 12 days on her.

    You are the prize, remember that.

  5. Thanks for the advice guys. You got me kinger, first date since I've been divorced. I've been e-mailing a few other girls but no other dates as of yet. I guess I'm rusty...

    So really, just forget about her and see if she calls back?

  6. #6

    Try to get the value back in your favor. Don't txt, call or compliment when you normally would. Keep conversations lighter and always end the convo first. " hey someone's at my door, ill hola at you later" make it seem like your busy. A way to make that work even better is be busy. Have some other stuff going on, and meet some other women.

    And get magic bullets, read the best of forum. Study up a little bit. It'll help you not make the mistakes you're making

  7. Thanks, I'll try out magic bullets.


    Wow, I read about oneitis... lol. Yep, that was funny as hell and what is starting to happen.
    Going to send a text once more on friday if I don't hear from her - flipping the situation where I was too busy to call and see what she says.

    "Hi sorry I couldn't call this week, up in CT helping my brother renovate the house, how have you been?" <-- actually doing that this weekend but she knows I was off this week so it's legit to say.

    She did say she wanted to talk between now and that next Sunday. If I don't get a response by the end of the night I text her I'll just delete her number and move on. I'm still in her online connections and she hasn't technically not responded to me since I haven't tried to call or text yet, so I'm overanalysing this - hence the "oneitis" diagnosis kinger gave me is accurate, hah.

    In the meantime, I'll work on these two other girls that I have been talking to and try to set up other dates
    And yeah... I like this girl but, who knows... I could like these other two even more. Time to start it up!!! Thanks for the advice, I've had the wrong attitude.

  8. #8

    Don't explain anything. Don't apoligize for not calling. If you want to hit her up, do so without even caring. Send her what we call a bait text (check out the phone and text game forum), something funny, witty that will grab her attention. Remember you don't owe her jack shit.

  9. #9

    And never delete numbers.

  10. Well good news, she texted me today and just said "Hey how are you, hope you are having a good week"
    I said hi, told her I was going to be busy doing something for a while but would call her back later. She said great and have a good time. Not in those exact words though... about 5 texts back and forth.

    Good thing is, now that I found this site I have some good pointers to study. If I didn't join this I probably would have called her back immediatley after the first text.
    And, now that I know about one-itis... I can catch myself falling into it and pull myself out.


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