online-real life interference
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  1. online-real life interference

    I'm in a tricky situation:
    I saw many times a hot girl on facebook. We have few friends in common, amongst them it seems that one of them is her best girlfriend. I always hoped to meet her by chance through these friends, but the proability is not that big. Anyways, now I see her picture on a online dating site, which tells me she is single.
    I need a strategie that is successful and that is socially save in case it is not successful. I dont want to get a reputation that i hit on everygirl online.
    Has anybody a good idea?
    I thought about different things:
    1. Contacting her through the dating site. she probably won't know that we have facebook friends in common. So this is kind of save. However, i cannot use the bonus of knowing her best girlfriend, and this one has a good opinion about me i guess. I dont know her so well tho.
    2. Adding her on facebook, not mentioning that i have seen her on the dating site. Then I have to explain her why I added her.
    3. Being completely open from the beginning. Contacting her online letting her know that i like her and that we have friends in common.
    4. Tell her girlfriend to introduce me. I dont know that girl so well and im not sure if i would really want to do this.
    Thanks for any suggestions!

  2. #2

    My vote is for 1. Then later when you discover you have friends in common, hey, what a coincidence!

  3. #3

    Let's say she takes the bite on pof. Good chance she will show her best friend and then she will recognize you. Not saying that's a bad thing but something to keep in mind I guess. Since you have a few mutual friends in facebook, it might be a warmer approach. Also, take into account how good your facebook page is. Do you have a lot of social proof? nice photos, girls writing on your wall, etc. If your facebook is top notch then I highly recommend you go that route. If not, you gotta make an informed decision. Both have a possibility of success.

  4. thanks for your thoughts! i still havnt taken any action.
    How would it be if I would write her on facebook "Arent you a little bit too cute for pof smiley smiley"? Keep in my mind I have never met her.
    Would she be confused?

  5. #5

    From my perspective, if you're on a dating site, that's for dating and facebook is for your friends. Contacting her on the dating site shows you're interested in her that way, facebook could be you just looking to make new contacts. I wouldn't contact her via facebook about something on pof. And nothing that might embarass her about being on a dating site.

  6. #6

    You're single, she's single. You can play dumb if you have a mutual friend and have never met her in person. If she goes "I've seen you on FB before , aren't you friends with..." that means she's looked at your profile on FB, and she'll mention the mutual friend. I never look at "Friends you might know" unless I know them.... but I don't add them because they've seen my name on there too.

    Best girlfriend comes in as a coincidence.

    I wouldn't contact her on FB until you go out on a date and the mutual friend's name comes up. Odds are you'll hear from mutual friend about going on a date with the friend without FB coming up.

  7. #7

    Don't bring up POF to her via facebook. Girls don't like being "known" to be on plentyoffish.

    And don't contact her on POF and tell her you know her friend or saw her on facebook. Same thing as #1, girls don't like the idea of someone knowing they're on POF.

    I'd just message her on POF AS IF YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER FROM FACEBOOK. And after you do a facebook add, hey what a coincidence, I see in your mutual friends that you know my friend <blank>. How do you know each other?

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