Flaking - how to deal with in this particular situation
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  1. #1

    Flaking - how to deal with in this particular situation

    The situation os the following: I am a bartender and I've just been flaked.

    No problem here, although it is the first flake I ever had to deal with - it is not easy but I am slowly going past it, as I know it happens to everybody.

    What I need to know is how would you treat the situation if you were me, because I know this girl always comes at the bar where I work. I have no idea what should I do the first time when I see her. Should I ignore her, should I act like nothing happened, should I ... what?

    She flaked by not coming to a very casual meeting (not even a date) she was very excited about and didn't call or text since. No problem here again. But I think I lost enough value in front of her and her friends and I want to at least retain the value I still have, if no get a bit back of what I lost.

    Considering I am a bartender, I know this is possible, I just don't know how. She knows I work there and I am sure she will show up again sometimes soon(in eight months I worked there she was there hundreds of times).

    I just want to know what would your reaction be, as the guy who qualified her all the way to the flake, looked confident (and is too) and did pretty much everything according to the book - obviously it didn't turn out so well for me.

    Thanks guys!

  2. #2

    I ussually behave normal with the girl that flaked, and start a conversation with her, like nothing happened, and out of the blue: "hey, too bad you couldn't come last friday, it was fun." and maybe tell her something fun that i did. From her reaction i can actually see if she's really sorry, or just didn't wanted to come.

    When they are really sorry they schedule another meeting, like i'll make it up to you. When not, i leave it be.

  3. #3

    So should I just let it go as nothing happened? Wouldn't this show I am a wuss and would accept everything from her side only to get acceptance? Now I don't know, this is how I see it... I just really want to make this right.

  4. #4

    it's her loss, not yours.. move on.. get other girls

  5. #5

    Well yeah, this is EXACTLY my mindset, word by word. But I want to make it clear. I can't just pretend we still are friends when I definitely want her to know she lost something. I want to make her think this.

    So in the end, your way of doing it might be worth trying... thank you!

  6. #6

    First of all, You shouldn't care enough to "make her want to think" Anything. You should not care what she thinks at all. AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Did you contact her after setting up the meeting? Some girls will just assume YOU Flaked if you don't confirm it the day before or something. Maybe she simply forgot about it, or something came up, there could be a million reasons.

    If you see her again, just act completely normal, like nothing ever happened. Personally, I wouldn't even mention it, because that's how little I would care. But you can do what Caesars said, if you're that curious.

    If you see her again, you can casually set up another hang out, and if she flakes again, you have to display with your body language, tone, etc that she has lost value in your eyes. Don't give her the time of day, it's up to her to recover your respect.

  7. #7

    Wait... so a drunk chick at a bar flakes out? Holy shit, stop the presses! You cannot expect a drunk woman to remember anything. Hell, a sober woman can't remember her own name half the time. Don't take it so hard, bro. GFTOW

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Miami, Florida / Huntsville, Alabama

    It wasn't like you scheduled a date to see her outside of work or when you weren't working.. But anyways it happens, nothing you can do but act uneffected about it.

  9. #9

    Well yes it was. We didn't decide to hang out when I was working, we decided this through text a week after we've been texting. I wouldn't arrange a meeting with a girl when I work, because I know they are drunk and forget - that dumb am I not. She flaked although I sent her a message few hours before. And she didn't answer since.

    It was actually weird that this weekend she was not out (or she avoided coming to my club knowing I might work), 'cause usually she is out all the time. But yeah, fuck it, I got over it :-)

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