What are the first steps for us guys who have very-low self-esteem in general?

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  1. #1

    What are the first steps for us guys who have very-low self-esteem in general?

    Have read some PUA books, vids & have searched around in these forums, and am now ready to get off my ass and DO SOMETHING! I have issues with low self-esteem ever since I can remember. I can start conversations with women I am not attracted to, but not with ones I'd like to take out. I am self critical and talk myself out of doing many of the things in life I'd like to do (including talking/approaching women). I have "I'm not good enough" thoughts in my head, including when I do occasionally start talking to a beautiful woman. I feel that even if I took a few bootcamps (which I really can't afford right now), the self-loathing and self-sabotaging thoughts (which go way beyond my problems with women), would prevent me from getting the gains I desire. SO, I'm thinking that I need to boost my overall self-esteem a bit before even thinking about tackling the "women" aspect. Can anyone reccomend any books, vids, courses which will help me overcome the fundamental irrational self-loathing thought processess which are keeping me from achieving the things in life I truly deserve? It's just so weird that I know there is a problem with my thinking ...yet am helpless in figuring out how to overcome it.
    Thanks!



  2. #2

    Dude the way to beat low self esteem is to flood your mind with how awesome you are. It doesn't matter if a thousand people say you're a dick. In your head you're awesome.

    Don't look for outside approval from anyone -The reason why I get so many chicks and get laid every weekend is because I don't give a flying F what anyone thinks, I say what I want, do what I want and if someone doesn't like it, oh well so sorry for your luck. Now I'm not an asshole but I'm really close to it. Meaning I'm not rude or mean, but I have a strong personality.

    Also I talk a little bit louder and I'm more assertive than the average AFC. So even though, I'm not Brad Pitt, chicks dig that type of confidence.

    I wasn't always this you have to force yourself out of the box. And when you get rejected, don't give a flying F, let it roll off you like water. Oh and don't be overly nice to chicks. That's normal AFC behavior. Treat them like you would a dude and you'll get further.

  3. #3

    hey mate,its good to learn some inner game stuff but it can become a never ending quest to be o.k.

    Similar to whats already been said..
    One of the quikest ways to find selfesteem you can use straight away is to have set boundries and have a strong frame im talking about 'giving only as good as you get' 'owning your space' 'i'm going to go over and enjoy myself'...back yourself!. If you BACK YOURSELF youll do a lot of what you learn about automatically-confident bodylanguage,having value,standards and takeaways,willingness to emote,present,honest,strong reality,alpha etc etc.
    an example of what someone who backs himself is
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri13wHUvvbs

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Alander View Post
    Have read some PUA books, vids & have searched around in these forums, and am now ready to get off my ass and DO SOMETHING! I have issues with low self-esteem ever since I can remember. I can start conversations with women I am not attracted to, but not with ones I'd like to take out. I am self critical and talk myself out of doing many of the things in life I'd like to do (including talking/approaching women). I have "I'm not good enough" thoughts in my head, including when I do occasionally start talking to a beautiful woman. I feel that even if I took a few bootcamps (which I really can't afford right now), the self-loathing and self-sabotaging thoughts (which go way beyond my problems with women), would prevent me from getting the gains I desire. SO, I'm thinking that I need to boost my overall self-esteem a bit before even thinking about tackling the "women" aspect. Can anyone reccomend any books, vids, courses which will help me overcome the fundamental irrational self-loathing thought processess which are keeping me from achieving the things in life I truly deserve? It's just so weird that I know there is a problem with my thinking ...yet am helpless in figuring out how to overcome it.
    Thanks!
    I've had some "Inner Game" stuff to get over myself when I first learned the methods that Love System teaches. The main reason people feel the way they do is because of past experiences (lets just use women here since that's the main topic). So if you've been rejected, and it carried social weight (in public, in front of your friends, other people, divorced, etc), then that is a past experience your mind holds onto to help protect you from future situations. But in reality........this is only your "story"...not how the world actually works.

    Here are some items I think will help you: since they have helped me....

    1. Psychocybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Malts. This book is the "secret weapon" Vince Lombardi used to coach the Packers...but few people know about. I used its teachings to help me in my career and personal life. It will blow your mind!
    2. The Ultimate Edge by Tony Robbins. Tony has been around forever, and if what he teaches didn't work, he'd be out of business! This stuff works. From "Inner Strength" to "Get the Edge", this material will break down for you what you want out of life, and exactly how to go about it!

    As far as Love Systems products, here are a couple that I have that I suggest starting with:

    1. Magic Bullets. This is known as "The Bible" for a reason! This will help you get over a big portion of your anxiety and fears because you'll understand how a woman's psychology works. I think it's only $68...which is mega inexpensive for the things you learn.

    2. Routines Manual Vol 1. By having this, you'll never be at a loss of words, or wonder what to say next in any situation with a woman. This book is pure MONEY!

    Let me know how those work for ya

  5. Quote Originally Posted by Alander View Post
    I can start conversations with women I am not attracted to, but not with ones I'd like to take out. I
    Mate, as Cajun said, the trick to being brilliant with women, is to realise you already are

    You can talk to women, you have the social skills to interact and make them enjoy your company. Realise this, really take into into your system. YOU have the ability to entertain a woman, a stranger. The only difference between some HB6 you dont like, and some HB10 you do, is YOU. Your mentality and attitude toward her, your putting her in an ivory tower.
    realise that you are the one elevating her to be out of reach, and you can also be the one to bring her back down to your level.

    Look, here's something most of the guys on here don't tell you: none of us are perfect. We all have things that we could knock ourselves down for. But we do NOT, we do not focus on them and let them rule us. We focus on the things we do like, the things we do well, and we run with that, and then realise that we do like ourselves.
    Do the same, find something about you that you like (your sincerity, your openness, your kindness, your humour, your attitude, your wink, your shoulders, i dont know, i dont care, to be honest...). find that thing, and feel good about it, raise your confidence through it,then go and open some sets.

    also, use the two or three unattractive sets to build momentum on the night... then go for the hb10 target you want, you'll be riding a high and have a much better chance of success... and, if she blows you out, then she's the odd one out, because hte other sets welcomed you in, so you can laugh her off


    hope this helps a bit,
    good luck mate

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