How can I get into any social circle and rise to the top?

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  1. #1

    How can I get into any social circle and rise to the top?

    Hello, I would like to know if you have any advice on how to get into any social circle and rise to the top?

  2. #2

    Just be cool as shit and give more value than you take

  3. Create the most fun in that group.

  4. #4

    Thank you guys for your advice.

    It's just that I saw a website that promotes a dvd and in the description it says:

    Break into any clique or social circle you wanted, and rise to the top
    Be the alpha male of any group
    Have friends who regularly introduce you to beautiful women and give you access to elite social and professional opportunities
    I was just curious to know if somebody had any tips about this.

  5. I just find having a group of friends that respect you is the most important feature. If they dont respect you then how can you rise to the top as the ground will crumble beneath you.

  6. #6

    Depending on the setting or group of people, if its a house party and its the right atmosphere for it, I make sure to have a deck of cards on me and initiate a game of Kings Cup. But with my own twist on the rules, making them a little flirtier.

    You get to stand out a little bit for the fact that you initiated a social game. You get to own this especially since you explain the rules. Everyone always wants to play. And you get so many opportunities to tease the girls playing.

    Taking an interest in others, and segway your value into the conversation when its appropriate.

  7. #7

    Disclaimer: Reality never goes this smoothly, and these models are far from complete. The language makes this sound easy, but I want to stress that it is not easy, and I am not always successful when I try to do this.

    I don't aim for the top. People who "aim for the top" often engage in socially destructive and short-sighted behavior such as gossip and deception. Instead, I take a depth approach, attempting to build deep connections with individual members of the group. My position in a social circle's hierarchy isn't particularly important, especially since leadership in most circles is a distributed model with different people fulfilling different leadership roles. Social circles are made up of people, and my goal is to connect with the actual people in an efficient manner.

    In a large, loosely organized circle (30+ members)

    I first build a core group of about five people who I can do things with. I want to become the leader of the little group, so I select people who are naturally cooperative and who do not care about gaining social status very much. I avoid folks with boyfriends/girlfriends or people who already have a lot of status in the group. If I can, I make it so that the people I put in the core group do not know each other super well, meaning that I can easily become the "most meaningful connection in the group" for some or all of the members. Leading five people is easy, because people naturally want to be lead. I know that I can suggest pretty much anything fun, and people will like it, because people are plagued by boredom and a lack of ideas for things to do. I also make sure to hang out with the members one-on-one sometimes, since one-on-one interactions strengthen personal bonds quite a bit more than group interactions.

    Once I've done about four different things with my group (beach trip, board game night, etc.), they are my friends. Then I can escalate to one-on-one with each member. When I have interacted with them enough, their connections to me have become more important than their connections to the larger circle. It's the same way that if your best friend took a dance class for a month and then invited you, you would be his most meaningful connection in the group because you are close friends outside of the dance class. To your friend, you have higher status than even the instructor.

    Having a core group of five people who are all on my "team" in a larger social circle means that we have more "sway" than we would have as individuals. Since I have a disproportionate amount of say in the group, I have authority that extends beyond my personal share. Although authority and power over a bunch of random people I hang out with doesn't particularly interest me, it is a natural consequence to the pattern of socializing I use. Power invites challenges, which can become a problem.

    This pattern is no secret, and I must take measures to avoid other people noticing and causing problems for me. One of the main pitfalls is poor selection of the small group. If I select people with low intelligence, attractiveness, or status, I will be seen as "taking advantage of less privileged people" or "manipulating." They will also not be able to contribute much social value to the group. Instead, I must pick people who are liked by the group but largely disinterested in gaining popularity or aligning with power seekers. I want to avoid competing with the other people in the group who are vying for status. I try to get the power seekers to hang out with me, and then I act like I am not interested in status or group politics. I want to go out of my way to seem like a non-target and like my popularity happened by accident.

    With a core group of friends who have loose connections to the rest of the circle, I can meet anyone in the circle, and I know that the person I meet will want to align with me. I can bring my friends into the circle, and they will have instant status (excellent for friends who do not socialize a lot). I'm off the radar of members of the group who think in terms of hierarchy; nobody wants to bring down the guy everybody loves who doesn't back-stab or talk shit. I can leave the group almost entirely for a long time, only communicating occasionally through Facebook. Although the little group I make dissolves with too much time away, my popularity does not.

    Smaller groups with 4-10 members where I was introduced to the group by one of its members (meeting a friend's friends):

    With close-knit groups, my methods change. It's a lot harder. It takes more work. My success rate is much lower. The key problem is that I am the least important connection to every member of the group, unless I was introduced by a friend who has a closer connection to me. Even then, I'm near the bottom. What I try to do is hang out with the people one-on-one as soon as I can, and I avoid hanging out with them as a group. I don't want to be around them when they are in a group because groups develop their own shorthand and communication styles that I cannot easily compete with.

    When I hang out with individual members of the group, I try to figure out where the weak connections are. I want to get connections with group members that are stronger than the weak connections that they have established with each other. If I find that two or three people do not usually hang out together, but it is not the result of drama or dislike, I will work to get into a situation where I am hanging out with them together (often including other group members to avoid looking like I'm manipulating) after making individual connections with each in one-on-one interactions previously. Then, I am hanging out with the group without having the weakest connection to the other members.


    The ways I connect with people are mostly based on the size of the group when we hang out and what we are doing. New locations and new activities create closer bonds. Smaller groups facilitate personal connections. In these environments, it does not take a lot of "game" to connect with people.

  8. Alpha males are always on the top.

  9. #9

    Wow very good explanation KnightToF3. Thanks for your help!

  10. #10

    Wow, somebody actually read all that?

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