Dates ... How many days in advance?
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  1. Dates ... How many days in advance?

    Hey guys!
    Well, I don't actually go on dates, I just say let's have a really cool cocktail, let's take a look at the city together (as I am new in town) or have a fun time at the zoo. Now girls accept, but rarely seem to actually find the time. Usually something gets in the way and the date is postponed or cancelled. Probabbly, most of the time it's just a lack of attraction. But I guess I make some mistake with the date of the date ... I usually propose to meet in about one week, is this too short or too long? I feel it's too long. When there is real interest, a meeting should be possible the same or the next day. This is what I will go for in the next attempts.

    Anyway I would like to get your opininos!

  2. #2

    It's usually best if you set a time when you ask. Don't even say we should get drinks sometime or anything similar to that. If you have no place and don't have a specific time, then don't ask.

    Instead, phrase it like, "I am going shopping for curtains for my new place tomorrow, do you want to come alone". Always keep the frame that you are living your life, and they can tag along to events that you would be going to anyway. So if you want to go for drinks, think in terms of "I want to go for drinks on Thursday, let's see who wants to join me". So if one girls says no, you just move on to the next. It's a frame of abundance, and get's rid of all the approval seeking BS.

  3. XR187 is pretty spot on IMO.
    Make plans and invite her to join you.
    Donīt let HER arrange time and place. Do it yourself.

    Itīs one of the most common mistakes we make as guys.
    Instead of taking charge, setting the scene and taking initiatives - we effectively hand over all initiative and power to the HB.
    Often itīs an attempt at being polite and wanting to make room for her other plans - but unfortunately it has the complete reverse effect:
    It comes across as insecure or "well, what do YOU want to do? Anything is fine with me...".

    Hope this helps

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