Thread: Direct Daygame Approach Anxiety
Results 1 to 10 of 16
06-14-2011, 05:55 PM #1
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
A little ashamed to say but for the past week, I've gone out to daygame 4 times now including today and I have not direct approached a single girl yet.
Direct Daygame Approach Anxiety
I need some help here. I have done many opinion openers asking girls or sometimes sets a variation of, "where can I get my friends a pair of shoes, [or gift, etc.]" just to work myself up to the direct opener. I did it many times, enough so that I just felt comfortable asking pretty much anyone I can find. I've even feel confident enough to say that my body language during those indirect openers are very good.
But honestly right now, I don't care about practicing indirect that somehow lead to a number close in the daytime. I want to do a goddamn direct opener in day game but I am pussing out!
For instance, today, I didn't want to do indirect because I only have AA for direct, so I went to 4 different locations (summing up to 3 hours in total) to try to make a breakthrough. Well I guess I can say there were not many HBs, I count only 7 girls that I would have felt appropriate to do a direct opener (my hometown girls suck compared to my usual LA where I am during the school year, hence my pickiness). But even then, that's a shitty excuse. Among one of the 7 girls I shoulda approached, I was just kinda looking in her general direction and she might have been looking in my direction, dunno, but I just couldn't move my dam legs in her direction! Something is still stopping me, like right at the moment I know I'm supposed to just do it. I try blanking my mind but I can't.
I am still determined as ever to go out again, because I really want and need to seize this. So tomorrow I plan to go out again but this time I'll ask the very high HB's on men's fashion tips many times just to reduce the AA a bit. However, I still need some appropriate advice if anyone has any.
If you guys can give me some good advice or criticisms I'd appreciate it. Feel free to call me a pussy or vag or whatever, but fyi I'm already kicking myself pretty hard.
06-14-2011, 06:13 PM #2
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
If it makes you feel any better, I'm going through the same thing. But with me it's worse I'm having problems doing indirect openers. I did the same thing you did go to places and just talk to random people, like I started conversations about shampoos, hair ties, etc. But yet I can't get the courage to walk up to someone and through an opener out. That's all I want to do for now is to open someone or a group but it hasn't happened. I can talk to anyone seriously but once I think about opening it's like ahh WTF.
I know there isn't any special tactic that I need to use where I just go and open someone without AA.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I've read magic bullets, the game, the venusain arts hand book, routines manual, but yeah, I guess the only thing we can do is stop overanalyzing this and just go.
Anyway maybe, if we challenge each other and just share with each other what we did and who we approached that might help.
06-14-2011, 06:36 PM #3
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
I have the same problem too, I'm fine with the approach but just can't pull the trigger on the opener. I've kinda been hoping if I do enough approaches I'd find someone interested enough to open me but it hasn't happened yet!
06-14-2011, 09:18 PM #4
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
Damn yeah, it's good to know that I am not the only one struggling with this.
But I do know what you mean when it comes to really "opening" someone with that kind of intent. It makes you just freeze up and I can't seem to approach unless I need some kind of advice or directions from them.
I think what we both need is a stepping stone to gradually get to direct openers...or a wing. For you, it might be something like trying indirect openers or even functional ones like, "What time is it?" if it helps. For me, I think I need to approach the high HB's with those opinion openers without hesitation. What do you think?
Whatever the case, we can't give up. I am going to continue this until I get it dam right.
06-14-2011, 09:22 PM #5
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
You can use a median for now. Open direct but then make it indirect.
I noticed you're quite attractive and stylish.. (pause) what do you think about blah blah on men?"
You will then see women do not turn into carnivorous dragons, well most. Imagine if a girl came up to you, hot or ugly, and said you're genuinely cute, would you say GTFO bitch?
06-14-2011, 09:46 PM #6Phrased Guest
Just keep forcing yourself to go out with the intention of opening directly, if you don't do it that day, make sure you do it the next day. And so forth until you can, then it will get slightly easier, and just keep going out till you can do it again, then it will become slightly easier again. And so forth it will get exponentially easier, till you have no AA. Just keep at it boys!
Another thing you could try, i have no idea if this would help as i just thought of it is, immediately disqualifying yourself as gay. Just to open, dont worry bout there numbers you just disqualify immediately after opening.
06-15-2011, 01:13 AM #7
TomCelery gave you a nice nugget of advice. Eventually the AA will go away for the most part...like Phrased said. The first time is always the scariest but it gets to the point where it is second nature. Trust us man...after you do it a few times you are going to become addicted to it ! I did !! Trust me...my AA was just as bad as yours if not worse. I'm not sure if AA ever completely goes away..maybe it does for some guys..or maybe it eventually will with experience. But i know for sure that it gets to a point where you aren't even really worried about it because you have done it so many times that you are expecting a positive reaction. You aren't expecting to get blown out so there is nothing to really have anxiety about ! I have way more AA cold approaching at a club than i do with Daygame..
Going direct is really fun because you know really quick whether the chick is interested in you or not. I am no PUA or Daygame expert but in my opinion it is really easy to get numbers in daygame. All you do is open telling the woman that she is attractive and that you like her style...then you just have a normal conversation with her for the most part. Ask her what she is up to for the day...tell her a little bit about you and what you are doing..then go for the number close.
PUA: Hey what's your number ? Maybe we can hang out sometime.
and i make sure to pull my phone out while i'm saying it.
i have read numerous times that saying "get together to hang out" is a bad idea...i usually get numbers though..
watch this if you haven't seen it : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njDfgsTqUFE ....take note at 4:08 how he explains how he approaches.
I was scared to DEATH the first time i considered doing this. I thought.." oh man..she's going to think that i'm soo creepy for doing this !! and other people are going to think i am weird for chasing this girl down !!" now,usually i end up having a nice conversation and the girl's number in my cell phone !! and i'm not even that great at this stuff man ! at least not yet ! after the first time it's pretty much smooth sailing bro ! You can do it man ! and i look forward to seeing some reports from you and progress
Even Love Systems Instructors still get blown out...probably not as much as normal humans do but it just isn't possible to attract EVERY girl. So when you do get blown out or a girl doesn't want to give you her number then just shake it off and look forward to the next one. This is the only way to learn and to become calibrated..
and Mooch21 stop reading so much material man !! and get in the field !! you may have heard it before from more experienced guys on here ..i did and i didn't listen..i read anything i could get my hands on. It's hard not to read material sometimes. but when you have all that knowledge stored up its just going to make your AA worse because you are going to always be trying to say and do the right thing.
If you can't open then there is little need to know comfort and seduction techniques until it comes to that point. And i'm not saying that to pick on you..because honestly it wasn't that long ago that i was in your position (mimeticz,brandonsysles27,mooch21). But honestly...it's pointless. If opening is your problem..then go out and open girls...THEN come back and read about how to open better and maybe read about transitions so you will have an idea of how to progress next time. If you try to learn it all at once it's just going to mindfuck you..and that's the situation i'm in right now. I thought that i knew all the theory...but i wasn't in the field doing anything..don't be like me man. Get in the field. We are all here to help others learn from our mistakes and successes. I'm trying to help you learn from my mistakes !!
06-15-2011, 11:19 AM #8
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
Thanks for the support guys.
Mimeticz, that's what I'm doing right now is baby steps. I went out, to pay less and target, this one woman approached me and asked if her pants looks good. She was an 8 but her body was amazing.
Her: hey can I get your opinion on something
Her: ok these pants were too long so I cut them, and sewed them. Do they look like flooders (or however it's spelled)?
Me: turn around for me
Her:[she turned all the way] blah blah blah
Me: no their perfect!
Her: thank you so much.
Then later on I approached her(does that count). And asked her if she could recommend a clothing store that had nice mens clothing. She recommended a place. Then I went to that place they had really nice cloths for really cheap! Anyway I was trying to find another girl to ask at this different store, simply put, I froze up and didn't ask anyone.
I went to target, went to the mens clothing. (no I was not there buying cloths I was there trying to find girls to get over my AA). I grabbed a shirt, then I found this gorgeous worker.
Me: hey, lemme get your opinion on something.
me:what do you think of this shirt.
Her: it's nice
Me: that's it nice? Thats not cool!
Her: well I mean it's not bad.
Me: it's a workout shirt.....?
Her: oh well then it's fine
Me: ok thanks, now recommend me a good store with nice mens clothing.
Me: outside the mall
Her: outside the mall?
Me: yeah, out side the mall.
Her: well idk, how about kohls.
Me: well is it nice?
Her: they have nice womens clothing, so I'm assuming.
Both of us: hahahaha
Me: that's ridiculous but ok thanks bye.
( ok I'm only asking that question as something functional. I already have really nice clothes. I look "really good" so women say. I always get attention from girls. My problem is not finding a gf or finding a girl to lay. I just wanted to see how hard it is to talk to strangers. And trust me it's pretty difficult. I find my body betraying my words all the time. Like its crazy. I have a gf, I have girls that are interested. But I liked the challenge of walking to strangers and trying to start a convo, it feels so nice after you do it. Even if the convo goes horrible it's exhilarating!)
I walked around the store for a little bit more, I saw this girl smacking pillows, it was really funny. Then Chris rocks, comedy line popped into my head "how about some dick" you say hi to girl she hears it as "how about some dick" etc. Hahahaha. Anyway I chickened out of saying anything to her. I passed her by then I was going to return then I figured that would be creepy.
Anyway I yelled at my self in my head, then I saw this girl she was really fine, butter face! I didn't know until I approached and opened.
Me: HEY! (yes I yelled, I was trying it out).
Her: omg! Yes? Something wrong?
Me: ha, no, lemme get your opinion on something.
Her: yeah su
Me:[ cutting her off] I need you to recommend a nice clothing store for men.
Her: blah blah blah blah
Me:[uninterested] thanks bye
Anyway it still felt really good to approach!
Am I still pussed out? Hell yeah!
Did I do something about it today though? Yes!
Anyway I'm not doing this to get a gf or lay, I'm doing this to learn people skills, to have better social intuition. It's still crazy hard, but I'm doing it like you said. Baby steps! Your right we shouldn't give up. I actually went out today and just approached so I have something to share with you!
How'd you do?
06-15-2011, 11:23 AM #9
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
N2ition, how long have you been dong this? Are you still Getting AA? Do you use direct or indirect?
06-15-2011, 11:24 AM #10
You do the thing you are afraid of first then the fear goes away not the other away aroundView Full Profile: Click Here 200 + Reviews (Most In Company History): http://www.theattractionforums.com/t...iew_fader.html (watch my journey from student to approach coach, to instructor, to master instructor, to stripper destroyer).
Best quote from a workshop review ever "Overall this bootcamp was a short colombian 10, his teaching ability is a 10, and his game is a 10."
My Bootcamp Schedule: NOPE
Don't Be A Victim (click, read & change your life)
play2win: There comes a point in everyone's life where they either have their dreams or the reasons they dont. You're the hero of your own story..... write a good one.
Try Walking In My Shoes
You'll Stumble In My Footsteps
By sargeon in forum Field ReportsReplies: 6Last Post: 06-16-2011, 02:37 PM
By regenhybrid in forum General DiscussionReplies: 1Last Post: 09-15-2009, 10:29 AM
By Effortless Sheek in forum Field ReportsReplies: 3Last Post: 08-27-2009, 11:05 AM
By Silver_Dragon in forum NederlandsReplies: 9Last Post: 06-16-2009, 08:38 AM
By trainrunner in forum General DiscussionReplies: 1Last Post: 03-25-2006, 03:30 PM