Feudels Journal

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  1. #1

    Feudels Journal

    Hey Community may I introduce myself:
    I am Feudel 36 yo. Living in Nurenberg Germany.
    My Background:
    As a kid and in my youth I was ultra shy, I am quite sure I psychologically understand the reasons by now and they also lie in my childhood, some things there just fucked up my selfesteem especially with girls. In addition my parents are very old fashioned, and dind't teach my how to bild up confidence or take a stand in a fight or argument, in short I was definetly very beta. I think I managed to hide my insecurities way better than most people do, but my way of life was pussyless, and I wasn't content with it.
    The first step was to learn how to be cool around women and I became the nice guy. I think I got my first kiss with 20. Became the best fried of a girl I secretly was in love with, she left the country and migrated to New Zeland when I was 23. At this point in my life I was at least able to have female friends in my life. Changing my clique to more cool people than my only guys afc friends from my youth. I used to hook up eventually, but everything relied on booze. I had my first relationship with 24 and got layed for the first time. She was a HB6.5 and I was to embaressed to introduce her to my frieds. I considered many of my early girlfriends to embarassing for my friends so i chose to hide them. By now I had eight GF's / FB's. It was me who has left them in every case, I think I never got dumped. This might be because they where all lower status than me. On the other side I'm cool, and fun to hang out with. They all loved me, I could have married everyone of them. But I wasn't content with them, and I dint want them or me to be in an unbalanced relationship. I rather chose to be alone then fooling somebody.
    I got in contact with pickup about 3 years ago, some guy in my training has brought it up. By now I read far more than what would be apropirate for my skill / game level. Two years ago I was in my best level of the game, and got numbers and KCs once in a while. Then i hooked up with my Ex GF. And I talked with one of my natural firends about pickup skills, and told him: "one of the most important things I learned about pickup is that you can use routines etc. that the conversation is never genuie anyway. So if I don't know what to say, I just switch to my canned material" and I told him an opener I use which he considered lame, I dind't tell him my best one anyway. Somehow this conversation was a huge drawback for my game I'didn't approach that much anymore. I dont know exactly why this damn conversation affected me so much, but it did.
    And as an conclusion I will never talk about game and pickup in this way with my friends, for he isn't telling me his openers anyway. I am now solo for almost a year, and I quit booze for almost a year. After getting rid of Alc my game got even worse since then, I had to struggle with AA almost the same as I did when I started with pickup. This is my first sticking point wich I had defeated two years ago, but not alone but with my false friend alcohol. I am a good lucking guy, I train a lot, I hava a unique style, and most of my friends would call me self confident and hilarious. But I must say I still struggle with AA, or confidence in general. I have no problem dancing in an empty club in the middle of the dancefloor, I have no probs talking to people and pretty girls, if it is something situational, But I have problems to escalate, and I have problems talking to someone intentional with a canned opener. I dont know why this happens. If I open someone situational, and after the first to sentences get my canned opener out it is no problem. But if I just bring out the canned opener itself It feels very wiered. As I told before, I
    had defeated AA two years ago, but now its back, and I don't drink anymore so when I will have defeated AA the second time It will be gone for good.
    In retrospekt I must say, I almost never got rejected, cause I always ejected first. All my openers worked out pretty good. I shouldn't be afraid of using them.
    So here's my roadmap:
    I will hopefully go out every weekend, I will post a FR every week.
    My Goals for the first three Moths: Mar-Jul
    Handle AA once and for all. In clubs and bars etc, I want to be able to walk to a suitable set and deliver my opener. I might try to stay in set after A1, but this first step is purely for my AA. Everything else is a plus, but not a must.
    My task for this weekend:
    Begin at least one Set with my canned opener (for this is what i am still afraid of) I can open so many other situational stuff etc on other sets, but once it must be the thing I fear the most. This shouldn't be that hard, but I am still a little ill.. Hopefully my task starts today anyway.
    Last edited by feudel; 05-06-2011 at 12:02 PM. Reason: removed the line feeds for html



  2. #2

    Paragraphs, Mein Freund. Wo wohnst du in Nurnberg? Mein Opa kommt von Nurnberg, und mein Vater! Ich habe nach Nurnberg von USA im Sommer gegangen. Tut mir leid, meine Deutsch ist nicht so gut....
    **Also, The Mystery Method is dead now dude** Love Systems made a new model to use, it is in Magic Bullets! It is well worth dropping funfzig Euro for it!

    - Grimbo

  3. #3

    Thank you grimbo for the welcome, and your hint. I wont go into detail about my privacy, or the privacy of persons I talk about in this FR.

    Friday:
    -------
    Went out with one of my exes and this AFC - Nice guy. Ex dances all the time, and comments on the sets I do. AFC Nice guy, stands there not dancing in the beginning. Watching me dancing and opening, and in the end getting really drunk opening every girl, but they are more intimidated than amused. This is his typical behavior, I tell you guys keep away from alc, it's no good, and in the end fucks your body, your courage, your mind. I am a pretty good dancer, but I have no Idea how to dance with a girl I just met.

    Set1 :
    ------
    We enter the club, there is a line at the bar, I talk to this HB_7_Cougar_Asian who is lining there as well. I really do like Asian girls but she was a bit too old and dindt speak german or english well. Later on I danced with her, she came
    back to me several times, but when we touched when dancing she always turned away after some secs. Her obnoxious friends pissed me of. She was pissed at me for talking to other girls I guess.
    Lesson learned: Sometimes one Sentence is enough and she precieves you diffrent you appear on her radar, if you smile / are having fun / can dance you can take it from there.
    Set2:
    -----
    3 Set, dancing in front of us. I got nervous to deliver my opener, thoght of something situational they where wearing jackets. So my opener was "You know they also hava a wardrobe here" as it was a little bit hidden. I didn't open immediately and got nervous again. The set wasnt facing me, as I danced behind them. I toasted one of them before, finally I delivered my opener, to two of them: both 8ts, she flies open, we chat for a while, both HB8 were about to leave, It was far to little talk for NC etc. But my friend and Ex are both impressed.
    Lesson Learned:
    When I open a group on the DF I have to make the final EC with the target, It is too loud to talk to both so by facing the wrong person, I will likely have a diffrent set.
    Set3:
    -----
    From the 3set above 2 have left, the other one is HB7 is dancing alone for a while I open her with, "oh you are not going to ClubX with your firends" she flies open we chat for a while, I eject and want to return after a while. I wasnt so much into her. The girl gets opened from another guy, and form my AFC friend. I wanted to get back to her after a while, but not exclusively game her. She got NC from that other guy later an.
    Lesson Learned: dont leave the set alone, for too long, depending on which guys I am out with it will get opened by them, especially from friends who dont have the guts to open their own sets.
    Set4:
    -----
    I call her HB_9_DD guess why. She stands leaning to the wall, I get AA for delivering my canned opener. Find a situatioal opener, and ask her why she is not dancing. We talk some sentenses. I dance a little reopen with my opener, no AA. She was hot, she was into me. I've tried to dance with her but I think I dont do it determined enough, I usually face her, but not in front of her, and want her to look at me than face her, etc. but i think my style comes across as pussyfooting around not having the guts to fucking dance with her. Later on she gets aproached by another guy who dances with her like he is placing his body in front of her, and looks at her, not like me from the side, she seems to avoid him he follows.. Later on she asks me for the time (clear IOI) i try to dance with her again, and again she seems not so intrested ?!
    Lesson Learned: Next time when dancing with a girl I will place me in her way, and do a two steps forward two steps back style, not getting intimidated when she first doesn't get me her attention. This way will work tons better I guess.
    Set5:
    -----
    Two Set HB6 Hippo, our eyes lock, I jump in deliver my opener, eject shortly afterwards. My ex comments my low standard haha. I did this just for the case of opening
    Set6:
    -----
    There are two HBs in a 4 set MMFF. I dont aproach such sets. But one HB is a tenin my eyes I love asian girls. Then all of a sudden the stand right by my side. They paly incredible undancebale music at this moment, I go: Ah how can you chicks can dance to this crap. Damn, the HB8 continued the convo not my HB10 Asian.
    Nothing much happened anyway, I dont like to open MMFF mixed sets.
    Set7:
    -----
    There is this 4 Set My AFC friends them hugs and bugs them, but won't leave I tell him we leave soon.
    HB: Whow thats cool
    Feud: Why.
    HB: cause u freak me out
    Feud: hey you dont even know me
    She got impressed and has recognised the diffrence between me and sloopy AFC friend. Reopens me later:
    HB: yeah we definetely dont want to know each other.
    Me: Shure
    - High 5.
    She later makes out with her friend HB, I think she did this to get my attention I wanted to come by and talk to her again but logistics and time didn't allow this smoothly - Nothing happened here

    Resumee:
    --------
    I did my opener once but in the three second rule style which doesnt trigger AA
    I dindt have AA with HB_9_DD and HB10 Asian. But i felt it sometimes where I dind't aporach.
    My game is getting better and better, I am sober so iits consistant. My progress is slow, I have no problem with this. I will harvest my frughts soon enoug and consistant.
    I can dance really good by myself, but dancing with girls is not working for me by now: Face them directly, and do it like, two steps forward, one back, to not intimitade them. Inviting girls to upcoming undergound paries, etc, is a DHV an can be a trick to get their number or Facebook easily..
    I had lots of fun, and still was slightly ill and had decent fewer. Goal of the week already archieved . Lets top this on Sunday yay.
    Feudel out.

  4. #4

    Saturday:
    ---------
    OpenAir Festival
    I opened tree sets with the "hey where are you guys going afterwards" One set, the first hooked, but my target was about to leave after the cigarette she was smoking. Far too short in for NC. I opened my first mixed set with my sexistic joke, the delivery was good, even the girls liked it. To one set I have been introduced by my drunk nice guy AFC friend, they where very young and i really had to go because of my BBQ, but even there a girl asked me if I would rock the dancfloor afterwards. After my BBQ they have left. They where damn young anyway. And thats exactly the point the fesitval was so big but they all where so young just like most clubs. But as one of my natural friends told me before: "I bet those girls are all intresed in our di**s". I myself are very attracted to those young chicks but I have some restraint opening girs that young. (I am definetly talking about > 21 age guys). If you believe they are interested in you or better especially interested in you, cause of your age its gold, any positive believe is gold.Maybe I should game girls this age as well. I met a guy lately who was 34 and his GF 21. The GF he had before was 20. Damn those restraints, I could easily have opened like 20 sets in one hour. But was looking for suitable girls, and didn't open that much. But one set that hooked, the HB was working Hired Gun in a VIP area, so she def was hot.
    There where some other fun stuff chatting up people, and Throw' n Go openers which are not worth mentioning, but it gets me in the talkative mood.
    Resumee:
    --------
    I can't just rate a sarge by the number of sets, but by the ratio sets taken/sets not opened, cause i waited for too long or AA. The bigger the party doesn't mean the more opportunities, this little club i am going since two weeks is so damn small, but it gives me much opportunities
    Open for the sake of opening, better yunger and hot, than suitable and HB6.
    My Mixed set joke opener, is fun. A joke is 80% the delivery anyway. Telling a sexistic joke in a mixed set is good, it disarms you and the guys dont think you are there to steal their chicks.
    The sets i did in the 3 Sek Rule had zero AA.
    The Sets I opened on the DF, had very little AA, cause the timing dancing near them, looking etc triggers some AA, but it was definitely manageable
    My goal for the sarges next weekend:
    ------------------------------------
    Open when there is really AA, don't wait to let it disappear, just do your timing ( not approaching from behind etc. )and then open the damn set. All approaches I did had almost no AA in it, I want to defeat anxiety by facing, not by bypassing it.

  5. #5

    Hey dude,
    Its me again, I think you can open every set possible, that way you get loads of practice for the sets you really want. It can be a warm up set, or simple batting practice

  6. #6

    I read about BluNotes new challange, and decided to copy it, but when I started it i changed the rules a little, the timing fits perfekt till my summer vacation. Here are the rules:
    I have to open at least 100 Sets in three months
    10 Sets have to be daygame.
    Every Night it has to be at least one set or I go back to zero. Let the games begin
    Since then I did my first daygame approach, which of course was situational this is where I don't get AA usually, but in daygame it felt a little different, logistics and maybe my guts stopped me from transitioning, but anyway the first set is the hardest. I accomplished that.
    FR Friday:
    I went out with my friends to my new favorite club. One of my fiiends brings along this HB_8.5 she also joined us last week once. Everybody is hot for her, and my friend failed the second time to hook up with her. This friend of mine often brings HB's to our clique, and fails to get any attraction. I Didn't try to go anywhere with her, cause it was my friend's set. But at the she might have left with some other guy she met at the party. How do I know when it's alright to go for her without being an asshole to my friend? I had an argument with one other friend about this, even asking might piss him of, I hate to even have to fight with your own friends about your sets, let alone all the other mofo's in the club.
    Anyway My weeks challenge was to open at least one set when I really feel AA, and yes I did that, my weeks mission is accomplished, but it took me like 30 Min to get my mind to do this, I usually fall back to: "Let's see where good sets are, check the logistics, dance around them, toast them, and finally open. So I had to remember me to "just" open the goddamned set in a three sek rule style with my canned opener. I did that after I came back from the toilet, and opened this HB_8.5_MILF the set hooked, My friends where impressed, all my guy friends who usually bug me for being single saw me opening sets, maybe more sets than they did altogether, and I am doing this shit even sober. I got in Isolation with this hottie, somehow she lost attraction, she didn't say goodbye when she left the party. Afterwards I talked to her friend, that I considered her as hot, as a jealousy plotline, I should have tried to go for her friend as well, live and learn. I still wasn't able to dance with her. She gave me compliments about how good i can dance, but I place myself in front of her, and she just doesn't look my direction. I think it's anxiety on her side by now. This was my best sober set, so congratulations feudel. Maybe she was thinking I opened other sets while she still was here, she didn't know how many people I knew on the party. And she got pissed because of this.
    Lesson learned:
    DHV, even If the conversation flows not in my desired direction, just DHV and guide the convo to my DHV storeies.
    If HB mentions her kids i must tell her about my cute niece, to show her I like kids.
    When I try to dance with her, and she is not looking try to take her hand, to make her lock eyes.
    Don't wait for so long to go back to the set, even my friends where lurking around her.
    I alltogether opened 5 sets. But I missed two sets, and the one I remember the most wasn't even AA, It just was a new situation for me opening this seated set. Damn.
    Resumee:
    --------
    Could have smiled more, smiling before opening is the shit, not just smiling after the opener.
    I need to do more kino. Damn this is sooo easy in clubs, just the hand on the shoulder while talking
    I was flirting with this HB and it was a mixed MMFF set. I didn't open cause I thougt one of these guys is her BF. I should have opened with: "Hey is one of these guys your BF?" If i get a "No" : "A cool I'm feudel" She was definetly flirting with me, and I did not open because of her possible BF.
    I had so much fun, and gamed more than all my friends who bug me for not opening, and I was the sober guy. I had my first daygame approach, I had my best sober set yesterday. I even flirted with this Police officer who stopped my car, and she was receptive. It was so much fun, and I game better day by day. I just don't want to loose this momentum. YAY.
    Sets alltogether since my BLU Challange:
    Sets: 5 Daygame 1: SetsMissed : 2
    feudel out.
    Last edited by feudel; 05-14-2011 at 01:41 AM. Reason: typos

  7. #7

    Saturday:
    ----------
    Went out with my other ex to this awesome slightly snobby House Club. A Friend of my ex joined in after a while. I wanted to check out this club again for a long while and there where really hot chicks everywhere. Really many quality sets. And at the beginning it really was 90% girls in the club, literally. I only experienced this ratio once in my life. But it changed over the time and was more like a sausage party at the end.
    It took me a while to open, I had to take care of my ex getting her comfortable and drunk. She felt used as I took to a club with this male/female ratio. So I missed the best opportunities.
    I missed the first set cause of not opening in time and getting more AA over the time i let pass.
    Did this almost with the second set, but opened with my about style opener but didn't transition well, or lets say at all. But it felt good, my opener really works. The set was a 8.5. And I saw the respect in my Ex's eyes who is very concerned about the looks of other girls.
    This single warmup set just pushed me into state, I even realized my dancing getting more extroverted just for that.
    I invented more openers. One just a plain "hey you have to dance" - bla its easy just take your left hand up, and your right.. show her a basic waving. It's about the delivery anyway.
    The other thing I invented is accusing her of not smiling. I think it's best done by waiting for her to smile for the first time and then go like "OMG you are even smiling are we having fun now " - she will do it again - and then "woohoo there you go again - awesome" -then she will really smile- and you can call her out a third time highfive etc. It worked brilliantly the one girl I did that to actively came back later on and rubbed her ass at me.
    The other thing I did a couple of time is after asking her name, and I am telling her mine, while stretching out my hand . As we do the handshake I put also my left hand on top of her right and do handkiss, but my lips go on my left hand which is covering our handshake. I am not quit sure It is too cheesy or it does the right thing, most girls comment on this, and this one set it really worked. But I also found out she was with this Asian hottie which I liked even more.
    Anyway I opened this HB_AZN with my about style opener. In my eyes she is a 9. But I guess most guys would disagree but my report my ratings, I just like those Asian girls. Anyway I once again did not transition to my DHV story but the set hooked and she was into me. She and her friends where standing outside and where ready to leave. I saw this cause I was also standing outside. All her friends where leaving and she was the only one going inside once again having her jacked already on. So Feudel guess what she was doing inside, she was definitely looking for me so she steps inside looks for me doesn't find me turns around and there I am cause I followed her. We say goodbye but this appearing out of the blue triggers even more anxiety in her and the moment gets awkward, she agrees to my "hey would be fine to meet you again" but turns around and leaves. She was that shy insecure wallflower type of girl. I have seen it in her BL and dancing. And I knew a 2D would have been a pain in the ass. But my half ass goodbye without NC still freaks me out. Another reason for me not closing her was the drama I had ten seconds before outside with my ex being close to tears cause I approach sets and she was not opened drunk and frustrated. All girls where hot in this club.
    Lesson Learned:
    I dint actually say “it would kike to meet you again ” but “maybe we will met again”, guess which would have been better. Ahh having lost this set really pisses me …
    There where other sets 9 altogether and 3 sets I missed.
    Resumee:
    I never used a FTC. I should implement it.
    After I eject a hooked set I am interested I am not able to open left and right, or I will loose my initial set. Being considered as a player as it happened last Friday so I have to reopen way sooner. Go for a close or get blown out. But everything else is pending and unproductive.
    After the first eject I have two possibilities: First “hey nice meeting you, HB (I have to remember her name) I want to dance with you later on. Second: “hey HB promise me to say goodbye when you leave” But the NC while the goodbye is unproductive and should be avoided . I might only get one set per night.
    I never DHVed. Never guided the opener into my DHV story -not good.
    The approach is getting easier and easier.
    I have to get some C1-3 material, I often get my 3 IOIs.
    It was sooo much fun, but clubbing makes me deaf. I need earplugs.
    My canned re-opener: “You still having fun?” -bla- “This club reminds me of NYC” NYC – DHV story...
    I have to invent more re-opener no matter how plump they are its better then letting time pass by.
    I have to remember my last resumees in field otherwise I keep making the same mistakes over and over. So while taking a leak I wil have to go through my cheat sheet. And progress will come.
    Pickup is sooo much fun . Yay
    My BLU challenge
    Aproaches:14 Daygame :1 Sets Missed: 5

  8. #8

    I walked in a park before my training I saw a HB I opened two weeks ago at a party we had a nice conversation but I ejected and wanted to come by later on for a NC but she somehow disappeared, but I knew she was I interested in me from her IOI's but she was a shy girl . Today I realized that i knew her when I already have passed her, and she was with some friends. Saw her later on at the bus stop and walked slowly in her direction I wanted her to see me recognizing her while our eyes cross. She might have seen and recognized me as well. And moved further away from me and hid behind some people an a seat at the bus stop. Maybe she was hiding, maybe it was just an accident. I had serious AA at this moment. Damn I already opened her once and got some attraction, but daygame still feels so new to me. If she didn't do this on purpose I might have gotten her number she might have thought about fate seeing each other by accident. And I know feel so damned shitty not having the guts to open her at a bus station grr. If the situation arises tomorrow I will make my first daygame indirect approach, to get this missed set out of my mind and fight my anxiety. I am so pissed at myself right now and just feel like some looser :-(
    Anyway my goal for the weekend's sarge is to get blow out at least once, I eject even the sets that hooked and think to myself I will reopen later on, this has to change.
    My BLU challenge
    Approaches:14 Daygame:1 Sets Missed:6

  9. #9

    Hey man, just stopped in to read up on your progress and what do I see? My challenge posted right up there . That is awesome! Nice to see you making some progress with the count, good luck with it!

    Day game is hard. You hesitate at all and the potential is gone, usually forever. The 3 second rule is more important than ever in these situations. I definitely can relate to the early ejection problem. It's like, "Alright, it opened... now I better get the hell outa here". That's something I am working on myself.

  10. #10

    Thanks Blu as you know I also read your stuff, keep it up Your're on the right track man.
    Friday:
    -------
    I was really nervous before going out this friday, cause I very unsuccessful tried to do daygame. My sarges the last two weekends where for my relation just awesome, I almost haven't opened sets since I quit drinking, and I was afraid this unsuccessful daygame attempts kill my momentum.
    Anyway I went out with my Ex again it wasn't even the plan it just happened by chance. I K-closed a girl this night who was about 21 years my Ex saw it and began to cry. We had a long discussion whether we should go out together or not cause I of course want to open and ideally close sets. She told me that now she is fine and this incident has opened her eyes bla bla. I dont't believe her, but anyway I will continue to go out and bring her along we will see how it goes.
    So the first chance to open that night was at the line before the club I opened some girls and asked whether its packed inside this single interaction just gave me back my esteem. And I just knew I still will open my damn sets, the night just has it's own magic. So this daygame attempts didn't really throw me back.
    We went out to two clubs, in one I had to work for an hour or so in my nightlife job, to the other one I just went there for fun. In my job i am forced to talk to the people so being social is easy. This is why this HB7_young opened me and I knew she was into me. But here lies the problem I could have K-closed her the firs time she came to me and hugged me, but I didn't know how to escalate. The second time we met on the DF and I finally kissed her. So the thing to improve is my escalating skills. I opened 4 Sets all together and two girls opened me. The other one was an HB6 and i just wasn't interested in her.
    Resumee:
    --------
    I need to learn how to escalate.
    Saturday:
    ---------
    Went Out with many frieds. One friend he always brings new HB's to our clique. At least he does it after he failed to get some attraction. Anyway he saw me talk to some chicks and we talked about approaching etc. And he told me that the last two HB9's he introduced me are into me. And he gave me the green light to go for them, and he will not be pissed if something will happen. Anyway the first nine I have met only once, and i KNEW she was into me, but I couldn't close cause it was not my set. I hope I will see her again, but there is only one small chance. The other nine is now, at least for the moment in our clique. And I don't really think she is interested, at least she didn't throw any IOI's at me. And to be honest I think I will play this very slow cause I don't have the skills and ideas for any immediate drastic action, and I think this attraction if existent at all will stall, but we'll see. Both girls I could imagine as new GF's for sure, cause they're both nines.
    So my task for this weekend was to get blown out at least once. I managed it two times. The girls had their boyfriends with them and I think i can count this as an blowout. Once they came from behind and hugged their GF's it was a two setand I ejected like two seconds after that. The other set was even a mixed set, and I did not expect him to be her BF cause she was obviously flirting with me all the time.
    One Set was this three Set HB6 HB8 HB9. I opened HB8 with something about her unusual clothes, it was more like a comment than an opener. We met later while she was carrying two drinks from the bar, wich i also commented. I really think she was interested, and she once made a huge detour on the way back from her friends to the bar, but I was in this very moment I was talking to some other chicks. I was more interested in her HB9 friend. I always told myself when I take a leak I will open them on my way back, but never did it. damn me she was an HB8 even higher if younger.
    One two set I've seen getting approached by on guy on the DF. With zero success, and I wanted to top that guy, but didn't take my chance on the DF cause it was s loud. But I followed them outside and opened them the first time with an about me story, just some: "guys I don't know whether I still like it here anymore it's so loud bla bla". I did in a confident way and the set hooked partly but they talked to each other after a while not to me. And I had to force the convo to me two times, and after that i gave up. But anyway better than the guy before and for me a now way to approach.
    Altogether i Opened ten sets, At least these are the sets I can remember.
    Challenge for next week, more openers than my single canned opener I've been using for a month now.
    My BLU challange:
    Approaches:28 Daygame:1 Sets Missed:9 Days Left:87
    Last edited by feudel; 05-23-2011 at 12:56 PM. Reason: typos

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