Is my ex crazy?....what's her angle here?

So please excuse the length of this post:

I need some help with my ex because I have no idea what is going on.

Our relationship ended almost two years ago and it was very serious. We lived together for a little bit and she said she loved me and such. It seemed like she did as well. We had a bad breakup. I moved away and she hooked up with another guy right after me. She ended up dating him until about a month ago. To me, it seems like we had a much more serious relationship because we saw eachother every day and she did at one point say she wanted to marry me.

Even though she was with him, we talked every day for about 6 months and then several times a week. I know I should have cut contact but hey I was an AFC. We also talked about getting back together and such (although to be fair I did most of the talking since I was away). She would always call me and say she misses me and such.

Eventually, the guy found out that we still talked, blew a fit and she stopped talking to me. This was 6 months ago. I got a gf (shes moving away in a month so the relationship is ending) and we just didn't talk at all until about january. Then, she started calling me again. Asking when I'm moving back and all that. Since then we've been talking off and on.

Fast forward to today. She has been officially single for about 3 months according to her and she stopped talking to her ex about a month ago. She mentions that she feels lonely and misses someone like me but knows that it can't happen since I'm a different city and have a gf.

We get to talking some more and the things she said literally shocked me. I played it cool but I still don't understand her reasoning.

She basically said this: That she was over me right away after we broke up. She also said that our relationship wasn't that serious and that I wasn't that special for her. This goes against everything that I perceived happened. This girl would call me every day and tell me she missed me and such. Also, I have cards and other stuff from her that all says "I love you" and "You are the one for me. I can see myself with you forever" and such.

We also got to talking about why she hasn't seen me when I've tried to see her in the past couple of months when I was in town and she mentioned that she is afraid that either something will happen between us or it would be awkward. She hates my friends and my friends hate her.

So basically, my take away from all the talk is that she would gladly get back together with me, but I wasn't that special to her and she has no more feelings for me or that after a year and a half relationship, she didn't give a shit about me at all and only talked to me because "I liked talking."

Can someone please explain to me her angle here?

Also, I have a very good memory of our relationship and I thought it was very serious so I care that she has positive memories as well. So why does she deny what we had?

*I'm not imagining that we were really serious. We did not spend a single night apart for 1.5 years, she said that anytime I would ask her she would say yes to getting married, she called me the love of her life, told me she has never had anyone who she loved more in her life, i'm the only person she's lived with..... I can keep on going.

**What I want is to maybe fuck her again or get back together if I move back to my town. Right now at the moment, my goal is to calm my ego a little bit and have her say that she wants me back. I had to get therapy to get over this girl and now for her to tell me that I was pretty much nothing for her really doesn't feel good.

Please help guys.