Results 1 to 10 of 108
04-16-2011, 11:10 AM #1.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
After a 3 months lay off, I am getting back into day game. I am determined to get this down this time. Yea, it sounds like an yo yo diet sometimes. You lose a few pounds when you are focused, but once your life gets busy, stressed, you start eating more, and become fat again.
Project X's Day Game Journal 100 approaches in 10 weeks
What I realize now is the importance of priority and momentum.
I get distracted by other obligations in life, but when I sit down and really think about it, this is the single most important and time pressing objective in my life right now. I am not getting younger. Other hobbies, interests, goals, I can still pursue later in life. This cannot wait.
Another thing is momentum. Even though I was busy, I should have still made 1 or 2 direct approaches a week. Like when you are pushing a freaking car. Pushing it from a complete stop is hard as hell, but once it starts rolling, it's not too bad.
All this being said, for the next 10 weeks I do not foresee other major obligations in my life so my goal is to make 10 approaches/week for total of 100 approaches in 10 weeks. It's gonna be process oriented. Every week I will focus on a skill set rather than getting numbers or dates. However, I will still visualize my success which is to date a beautiful, fun, intelligent girl.
I will report on my progress at least every other week. Hopefully more frequently.
04-20-2011, 04:56 PM #2.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
This past Saturday I made 5 direct approaches, and a few indirect approaches. I don't think I should be too dogmatic about direct approaches. Sometimes I do indirect because I am nervous, and I needed to warm up. Other times it makes sense to go indirect. As long as I am not doing it as an excuse. I've made too many indirect approaches that did not go anywhere, and I regretted not just going direct. Itís funny I feel so pressured to go direct that I lose the flow of just chatting up people. From now on, if I approach indirect but end up getting personal and get to know the girl I will still count that as an approach.
Unfortunately all 5 approaches ended pretty quickly. Only one was somewhat hooked, but her friend was around so she had to go find her.
One funny blow out happened at the gas station. This hot blond was standing alone in the middle of the gas station. I chatted her up, and I joked why she's in the middle of the gas station, is she waiting for some guy to pick her up. She got pissed and said, "I am not the type of girl who waits at the gas station for guys to pick me up!"
I was happy to have approached a group of 3 girls direct. One of my sticking point is to approach groups. Although I had a wing to help me this time.
On Sunday I approached 1 HB at Trader Joe's. I saw one HB, there were a lot of people within ear shot, but eventually I decided if no one is within 10 feet of her, I am going to approach. It opened fine, but I stumbled and mutter a bit afterwards.
On Monday I made one approach at Target. Really cute girl. I think I smiled too much and she got nervous.
Tuesday sucked. I made 3 direct approaches. I came at them all from the side as they are walking. I think thatís a bad angle to approach. I got blown out on all of them.
I am happy I got my 10 approaches in. I hate doing moving sets and running after girls, but I guess when the situation calls for it, I have to do it. I think coming straight from behind rather than having them see you coming from the side works better for moving sets. I also want to work on smiling warmly and confidently as I open, but stop smiling and relax once I engage the girl.
I will continue to work on not worrying about other people around me. Sometimes worrying about the spectators hold me back than the concern for rejection.
04-21-2011, 09:35 AM #3
I've seen some guys become absolute monsters of daygame, and one important thing is to have some consistency in how often you are doing your approaches.
Don't do large batches infrequently. (10 approaches , once a week)
Try to do a few approaches every day, wherever you see girls you want to talk to.
Start becoming more social, walk around with a simle on your face, make eye contact with people.
Say hi to people standing next to you waiting to get coffee.
Talk to people on the train.
04-22-2011, 11:44 PM #4
Etablish a habit for break through mental barriers consistecly
04-23-2011, 07:35 PM #5.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
Yesterday I got out of work early and went to the mall. I walked around the mall for 3 hours and managed to make 3 direct approaches. 2 of them ended quickly - married, bf. The only one that last more than a minute was a seated girl outside the coffee shop. She still gave me the bf objection, but at least I got to practice a little conversation.
I do agree with the advice of going out on more days instead of doing a bunch of approaches in 2 days. However, at this point I can only promise myself that I will go out 3 times a week. I don't want to break my own words.
Today I met up with a wing to do more serious gaming. My goal was to approach 6 sets, and work on my energy and voice projection.
I cannot remember the first 2 girls. They ended pretty quickly. The next 4 were more memorable.
HB 9.5 Sweden. I swear she look like a younger version of Tiger Wood's ex-wife. Just a beautiful tall blond girl. She reacted warmly, but I fumbled with finding a common conversational thread. Also her friend was coming back so she got distracted. This is also her last day in the U.S. so I did not push for a close. Note: I should have talked about how much I love traveling. I run into tourist girls a lot. I need to be able to pick up this thread and run with it.
HB 9 New Zealand. Again, open warmly, but going back tomorrow. Wonder if this is the tourist version of "I have a bf"
HB 8 Germany. It's beginning to look like a tour of the nations. This tall German girl opened very warmly. We talked a bit. She just moved to US 1 week ago to be an au pair. "Finally, God threw me a bone!" I teased her about how much money she's making she's already going on shopping spree. I ran through my mind on how to qualify her. I stumbled through it. I need to re-read Jon's journal about qualifying. I also closed kind of weak about a party I am having next week. Although after I told her that maybe we'll go for a drink sometimes, she was like, "call me anytime!" She also asked me if I was at Forever 21 with my sister. Fortunately this Forever 21 has a man's section.
HB 7.5 Dutch. Yup, it's the parade of the nations. By now I am opening a little better. There's more pause between words. My body is also more relaxed, and my smile feels softer. I am still not projecting my voice. Not sure if it matters.
The dutch girl was receptive. I was able to connect with her since I was just in Holland last year. Unfortunately her friend showed up. I fumbled a bit. I should have tried to close her anyway. Do I just qualify her in front of her friend?
Overall I was happy I got my 6 approaches in. Next time if the interaction last more than couple of minutes, I am gonna work on qualifying. I am also gonna continue to work on my BL, eye contact, and voice.
"It is not necessary to try to get rid of fear in order to succeed."
04-25-2011, 05:47 PM #6.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
Two funny approaches today.
At Trader Joe's I was circling around with my big ass shopping cart. FYI, pushing a big shopping cart makes it difficult to approach especially if you already have AA. I just couldn't maneuver myself quickly through the aisles. Any little hesitation, and the girl is gone. Well, at least I got my shopping done.
I was pretty disappointed with myself so I went to Target.
At Target I was getting picky due to the fact that I approached such hot girls this past Saturday. I kept passing up girls for various reason. Finally I went for an approach.
I opened, she was polite. Very strong handshake. In the future I will tease girls with strong handshakes. She's a club promoter, that's why she's so confident with guys. She handed me her card which kind of preempted me from getting her phone number. My mind was racing a bit right now. I cracked some jokes, made her laugh a little bit. I think I made some headway as she touched my jacket and said, "nice jacket!" All this time she mentioned she's got to go, but at the same time she still engaged me. I think this could be a sh*t test to see how strong I am. In the end I mentioned getting together for a drink. She's like "e-mail me your information". I said, "Sure, I'll send you my resume."
I felt that I let this one slipped away. I am still gonna e-mail her and see if she bites.
I saw this blonde with huge knockers, but I wanted to find a sweeter looking girl. But after a long time I decided I need to approach before the sunsets and everyone goes home. There were 2 target employees around her. I waited for them to move away, before I moved in.
Up close, she was much cuter than I thought. She reacted well, but slowly pulled out the bf card. As I was about to plow through it, the 2 target employee converged around me along with a third shopper. I felt like a corner chess piece. I got really uncomfortable and just let her go. In reality, the target employee probably did not care what I was doing.
Goal for next time:
Continue to shoot for qualification. I am gonna read other FRs and get a sense of when to qualify. The first interaction today, I felt I was floundering a bit and never felt grounded enough to qualify. I think it's all in the head. If I was calm and confident then I could have moved into qualification.
"I am too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble in my mind."
05-01-2011, 03:08 PM #7.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
I have not done anything in a week. I went out today feeling very distracted and unfocused. I had to buy a travel book for my summer vacation. I kind of used that as an excuse not to approach.
There are definitely many situations that I am not comfortable with. I think I should have approached anyway and used it as a learning experience. Kind of chalk it in my toolbox of knowledge so that I will have a reference point to work off next time.
My friend called me to talk about the trip so I bailed out on the mall early.
Next week's goal: Continue to go out and approach for some blow outs just to feel what it's like. I also want to project my energy more at work. I am too low energy around people. I want them to feel my presence. I will also continue to work on my qualification if the set opens up.
I also want to get in the habit of solving my own problems. Whatever emotional state or situations I get stuck in, rather than wallow in my own misery I want to have an action based response. What should and can I do now to get out of this situation.
05-04-2011, 12:58 AM #8.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
I stopped by Whole Food on the way home today. I passed by couple of decent looking girls as I walked through the produce section. I felt uncomfortable with too many staff near by. Also I get stuck in this they have to be really cute for me to go direct mode. More about this later.
Anyways, after a long while I finally approached this cute girl with a nice body. I found out she's here studying film making. We had a good conversation on film and photography. I then asked her what kind of film project she had in mind and what inspired her to pursue that. That was my way of qualifying her. I could have rewarded her more directly by saying how I like people with depth, people who are socially conscious. I am not sure how to release that reward though. I am happy that I was able to find out a character traits about her. That was my success of the day. I think it's too superficial and in-sincere to like someone for just what they do. "Oh, I love it that you are an actor/artist/lawyer." But I think to appreciate someone for her personality is definitely worthwhile.
I pushed the conversation as long as I could, but she had to go. It turned out that she was married. I was still happy I learned something today.
I looked around some more for another girl, but I didn't move in fast enough on this other cute girl. She seemed to dart around rather quickly. Eventually she darted to the check out line and left.
I joked with another girl about her having a gallon of water and salad for dinner. She laughed and seem to reciprocate my joking. The problem with my indirect/situational opener is that I have trouble transitioning so I let it slip away. Up close I realize she was really cute. What a shame. Next time when a girl laughs at my joke, I am gonna say, "I like you laugh, you make me think I am funny, what's your name?"
I eventually opened another girl direct who was kind of taken aback by my approach. She wasn't all that cute. Yea, generally the less cute girls don't open as well as the really cute ones. It's alright, since this method will screen out girls with lower self esteem.
I am starting to question my 100 approach goal. I seem to have this habit of fixating on a numeric goal. It's ok to force me to approach, but it seems kind of outcome dependent. I really like how Jon117 approached his journal. It's more like I am gonna keep going out, document what I do, and keep doing it until I succeed. I am gonna lean more towards that method. i think it's a healthier frame of mind.... make it a habit to approach, make it a habit to push the interaction into new territories, and learn from it. Whatever happens happens. Trust that my actions will eventually sow a skill set that will lead to my reward.
Goal the next time out: Continue to work on my qualification, but keep the interaction lighthearted when appropriate. Keep it fun!
Sometimes I feel it's such a chore to go out and approach, but when I really think about it, it's such a fun thing to do to cruise around a little bit and chat up cute girls. It's like people going for a stroll in the park.
05-05-2011, 08:40 PM #9.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
I got out of work early yesterday and headed towards the mall. I get 2 hours of free parking so I wanted to make good use of my time. I like the limit. It keeps me from wandering around too long. As nice as it is to window shop and scout out cute girls, I still like to be efficient with my time. When I really think about it though, I'll just treated it like high school sports practice. You practice couple hours after school everyday.
Saw a red head with nice, nice pair of legs at the bookstore. Again, I was paranoid by the staff that works there. Eventually when the staff was far enough away I headed over. I thought maybe I'll get blown out because I hovered too long, but she opened up nicely. Friendly cute girl. I found out that she's a bar tender. I asked her, "Is this what you do all the time or are you aspiring to do something else." I was happy with that line since a lot of younger girls have crappy jobs but big dreams. This is sort of my "qualifying" for now. I think once the girl is open to the 1st minute of the conversation I can ask deeper questions that requires more effort. Of course I have to contribute 50/50 also.
We talked a good 5-10 minutes. It seemed like she wanted to keep talking, but I wasn't quite in the zone and almost felt I would run out of conversation. I told her I need to go look up a travel book for my summer trip. We talked about my vacation some more. Eventually I asked her for her number, but she chose to take my. After she entered my # in her phone, I asked her, "so how do I get hold of you?" She laughs. I then used my line,"I think it's better the guy calls up the girl." So she agreed, and sent me a txt. I am comfortable with this line. Sure the # may still flake, but at least it's not a trick to get a girl's number. I am just stating what my view is on the gender role.
I think I did ok with this set. She mentioned she's suppose to do some work. If she was totally free then maybe I could have pushed for an instant date.
In the future I want to delve into the topic of hobbies also. Although her career interest was cool, rounding up our rapport with hobbies may have led to more areas of commonality. Also I still need to more more cool in my head, develop the feeling that I can talk to her as long as I want, not really worry about running out of things to say.
I still have a massive hang up on moving sets. When I am about to turn around and run after a girl I all the sudden become aware of everyone around that might see me. I passed up on this gorgeous girl. Man, I need to spend couple of days just to overcome this sticking point.
Anyways, after many missed opportunities I approached a girl shopping for oranges. Wow, she has a beautiful face. I don't know if it was me or her, but she slowly pulled out the BF card. I introduced myself, hook her hand. She had a strong handshake so I said,"Powerful hand shake, are you a lawyer?" That opened up the conversation briefly. I just assumed that she wanted to bail. In the future I need to hold my ground, stick it out until she actually excuse herself. In this case I feel the BF objection was just a reflex out of discomfort.
Overall I was pleased with my progress in qualification. Still need some more work.
Goal next time:
Continue to expand on qualification.
Chase down those moving sets! Focus, block out the people around me.
Work on holding eye contact to establish male dominance.
05-06-2011, 09:33 PM #10.
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
I got out of work early today. Took a 30 minute nap, a shower, and head to a different mall. I've always had difficulty at this mall coz the girls are always zipping from one store to another. I told myself today I am just gonna make 2 approaches on moving sets.
After letting many girls pass by I finally saw a girl walking towards a less crowded area of the mall. I walked fast toward her, then jogged for 20 meters to catch up with her. I touched her on the elbow. I guess she though I have mistaken her for someone else. She smiled a bit and walked off. I felt good afterward coz seriously I walked around for 45 minutes without making an approach before this one.
Again, it was hard for me to approach moving girls. Usually when they pass me, I hesitate too long, and by the time I decided to pursue them, they are 50 yards away, and I felt stupid running full speed in the mall.
I only had 2 hours of parking, and I've been at the mall for 1 1/2 hours already. I saw this girl, not sure how cute she is, but I jogged towards her and opened her. At least this one acknowledged me. She thanked my complement and went off.
Overall I was still happy with my accomplishment. For a few minutes I thought I would not achieve my goal of the day. I was happy that I did what I set out to do. I pushed pass my comfort zone. In the future, I just need to be more committed to these moving sets.
Not much intellectual learning today, but I am sure at a visceral level I learned something.
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