how to get more sex form girlfriend (hard to get or frequent sex)
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  1. #1

    how to get more sex form girlfriend (hard to get or frequent sex)

    I have been with my girlfriend for some years now, and like many I think that there is to long time between sex. we have been away from each other for some months (but with skype contact) so I see it as a opportunity to make a new habit in our relationship ( = more sex).

    I am thinking of two different strategies and would like some advice.

    1. strategy
    sex all the time. my idea is to try to make the habit of having sex frequently / make it natural. sort of conditioning her to have sex a lot.
    fear: that it will backfire and i will look desperate.

    2. strategy
    minimal sex. As she (and I) will be horny from being separated, my idea is to make her want sex with me by being hard to get. and hopefully she will keep that attitude.
    fear: the sex quantity will just go down.

    please let me know your thoughts on the above, comments or if I am narrow minded give your thoughts for an other strategy.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Brisbane, Australia

    Read some books on sexual technique if sex is few and far between chances are your sex isnt that great. Trust me if you can improve your technique then shell be begging for it. And even improve herself. Then you can use whatever strategy you like. Why not use both. Go get reading now.

  3. You have done the right thing and kept one step ahead by getting advice/help. When the sex dries up and becomes more in frequent it is usually a step in the direction of growing apart... physically and emotionally.

    My advice, your two strategies are not going to work. My experience, women want to have sex with a MAN (not saying you aren't), not just for the sake of relationship duty. Once you have the man thing down pat you'll find you wont be able to keep her off you, your bag will always be empty, and she will be sex crazed with you so badly you will be fighting her off daily. Definately do some reading up. Period. Build attraction again and lead in the bedroom, always initiate it even if she isnt, its your job to get the party started in the bedroom, the rest will follow.

    p.s. it doesn't hurt to improve your physique whatever it may be, start that back like spartacus happening.

    p.p.s. if this relationship is really important to you, and probably is, it is not uncommon for long term relationships to go through this, if your efforts prove fruitless, do not be afraid to discuss seeing a sex councilor TOGETHER. Recent times, stresses and pressures have put alot of couples minds out of the bedroom and it would be practical these days to organise this together, as a couple.

    Good luck.

  4. #4

    You are over thinking it. You're in a relationship, you should be having sex whenever you feel like it.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeFatale View Post
    You are over thinking it. You're in a relationship, you should be having sex whenever you feel like it.
    You have to create the tension in order for the sex to be something she longs for and frequent. Your tools for tension are absence and stirring the pot. In long term relationships (years) you must not allow routine to settle in so stir up some emotions - I find picking at her biggest insecurity in a playful manner for a few mins works well.

  6. #6


    Mix it up a little, take her out, wine her, dine her make her feel special.

    Take her to a hotel for the weekend, pack her bag, throw in some sex toys and a do not disturb sign.

    Playing strategy games like you say below is a little childish and will most probably backfire on you.

    Have you tried.....wait for it........talking to her about your sex lives?

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